...reminds me of the days of hurry up and wait and
tis not always a good thing either
oh i am perfectly aware that i think too much
i spend 27 minutes in the shower pondering the meaning of life and
3 minutes wash rinse and
repeating...
the next right thing would be FLUSH
I walked into my 1st mtg, looked around and
said " Oh f%#k! I'm home."
the fact that you think that there is nothing special about you is what makes you extremely special which is rather refreshing in a world full of braggarts!
ok to the point---
this was a week after I had turned 43 and
at that time I did not know that jail wardens could lie and
I was told "you are going to end up with 43 years in prison by the time you get convicted of all the charges" and
I'm not too whoopy at math but it didn't take long for me to add 43 + 43 and
I knew "ain't no way that I'm going to want to be in prison until I'm 86 years old!" so it made perfect sense at the time...
no, this has a happy ending, I'm here to post on the internet!
my mom had passed a yr and
a half before and
now I was in jail with a plastic trash bag over my head and
was seconds away from death when I heard a voice as audible said "Knock it off, Lainder-Belle!" and
it scared me so bad I untied the jail pants that were over the bag and
gasped for air and
cried cuz I knew I was going to have to live...

I'm that girl that hides behind that fake smile,
I'm that girl that wears bracelets,
I'm that girl that wears jackets,
I'm that girl that is "Shy"
I'm that girl that has scars,
I'm that girl that has had a past that makes you want to cry hearing it,
I'm that girl you call strong,
I'm that girl..
Quick fix here..
I'm that girl that has too hid behind that fake smile,
I'm that girl the has too wear bracelets,
I'm that girl that  has too wear those jackets,
I'm that girl that is scared to be social because I've been hurt too many times,
I'm that girl that feels lost without her scars because the blade was the only thing there helping for awhile,
I'm that girl that has too move past her own past and never look back,
But most off all *where and the hell do you get strong from

good morning world,
I'm facing another day

where pain seeps and swirls
while pushing people away

but I'm a new girl
and my feeling can't be swayed

I'll give this new moment a whirl,
and there's nothing you can say