If you read my poetry my love
For they are conquering bereavement
To bring you back, my words are arranging a court of river
To sail you on the court my pens are breaking down and turning into a boat….
For you my love, I have learned dangers have no shadow
If a tragedy closes a door, it also opens a new door
For a memory is lost by another memory
Though you will live in my poetry century after century……

I am alone. All alone
I wish it were not the case,
I would have let you in, I would have, I swear!

You were to be my salvation!
You were to break my shackles and free my soul...
You watched as the demons burned me, as they tore
off pieces of flesh and left me void and damaged

I wish I could love you like I should
I wish you could love me like you had
Once upon a time
Before the monsters under the bed
Became the reality of our time.

I would give you the world on a silver platter
with a golden spoon, if only I had the option.
If only that arm were still left
If only that heart still pumped

I teeter on the edge
of salvation and desolation
my soul in a constant struggle,
while the ghost cheer on in the circle.

The abuse of those demons,
Well they left me in a pretty dark place
I wish I could have been stronger
I wish the effects were less

But my body is littered in scares, seen only from hell
and the halo was left for me to choke on from heaven.

my footsteps
were met
with the echo
of my steps

figures
apparitions
lost souls

every corner
porch front
driveway

the moon frowned
or perhaps smiled
as I met its mood
eye to eye

dead end
dead friends
dead dreams

bad vibes
a bad time
waiting down the street

for me

pulling
somehow enchanting

demeaning
full of meaning

I stopped
I shook
I turned

and walked back toward the lights

It must be hard
If you're not depressed
To understand the difficulty
Of just getting dressed
It must be hard
If you don't starve
To imagine winter woollens
Hats, gloves and scarves
In the summer.
It must be hard
If you don't ***** your food
To understand the waste
Once it's been swallowed and chewed
It must be heard
If you don't hear voices
To imagine
Someone else
Dictating your choices
It must be hard
If you don't have compulsions
To understand the urge
The panic and convulsions
Of just saying no.
It must be hard
If you don't have an attachment
To a narcotic or a bottle
To understand how it can
Throttle you, to just one more hit.
It must be hard,
If you don't cut at your wrists
To understand
How someone could do this.
It must be hard
If you don't suffer highs and lows
To understand how quickly
Such a feeling, comes and goes
As it pleases.
It must be hard
If you've never had a chemical imbalance
In your brain
Or a contributing factor, a stressful event
To understand the insane.

It's not like a broken leg,
A sprained wrist, the flu
Where someone can easily
Treat and diagnose you.
It's not something that just goes away
And I'm not trying to say
That everyone doesn't understand
I'm just lending a hand,
To those who struggle
To make sense
Of the dents in our thinking
The depths that we're sinking
The vacant eyes that are blinking
As we're thrown around inside
Our own minds.

2013 ©