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Words are so many,
Emotions are few.
Even with all of our words,
We can not fully express the depth of our emotions.  
As I cannot express mine now,
Nor will I ever be able to.
Sadness is the term I believe.
Or could it be turmoil?
Depression? Confusion?
I can't be certain any combination of the words can ever express,
The way I feel right now.

I can't tell you that I don't love you,
I always will.
I can't tell you, you don't matter,
You are my best friend.
I can't tell you I can live without you,
Because that would be a lie.
If I tell you I love you,
It will change everything.
When I tell you how much you matter to me,
I know you won't believe me.
I won't tell you I can't live without you,
Even though the world can see it.
I will continue to push you away,
I will continue to flirt with other boys,
I will continue to push you to date other girls,
And I will wait for the day when I know I can hold onto you forever.
I will wait for the day I know I can always call you mine.
Because at this moment in time youth and inexperience is our enemy.
And I'm hoping my decision to beat out those obstacles will help in the end.

Each step I take,
Makes me a little bit closer.
Each breath I breathe,
Makes my sanity return.
My every action,
Is fueled by the motive.
To be as happy,
As I once was.

I feel as though finally,
I'm catching up.
The world cannot,
Pass me by.
I am pounding my feet,
******* the pavement.
Spreading my wings,
Ready to take flight.

My life is getting,
Into the rhythm.
A rhythm that once,
I knew so well.
No more sadness,
Depression no pain.
And my life is now,
Falling into place.

I want to be ok,
I will be ok,
I am ok.
I will keep my chin up,
I will strap my heels on,
I will show my true strength.
I have been sad,
I have over come sadness,
I now have nothing else but contentedness.
I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me.
Yes, I did it all without,
You, You, You, You, You, You, You.

Crashing, thunder booms,
Hiding underneath his sheets,
the boy sits and hides.

A terrible fate,
worse than the storm that’s outside,
waits for the small child.

For monsters they come,
in some forms unexpected,
Inhabiting Earth.

This small little boy,
Knows the monsters all too well,
they live in his house.

So long ago,
We two were together,
My heart ripped out by this fellow

A twist of cruel fate,
Kept us close so close,
Yet in a perpetual friend state.

So now two years past,
The opportunity rises,
To kick up the romance at last.

A peck on the lips,
And my heart starts to flutter,
My stomache jumps and flips.

Dinner, a movie, a basketball game,
Two dates in three short days,
Nice, relaxed and tame.

I like being with him,
And I've always wanted this boy,
Since the moment long ago when I met him.

But low and behold,
A new conflict arises,
For two others want my heart to hold.

Sorrow,
Electrifying.

One lust,
One sorrow,
One electrifying.

Together they make three,
All so different,
Nothing alike,
Yet they all intrigue me.

Lust for so long,
Forbidden temptation,
The thrill of a conquest.

Sorrow lingering,
Always there in my head,
Hindering my progress.

Electrifying capturing my thoughts,
So flirty so fun,
We are one in the same.

One plus, plus one, plus one,
Is two plus ones too many,
But what to do?

What choice should I make,
Should I,
Chose any?

What's in a name,
What's in a name?
Could it be pleasure?
Possibly pain.

M is for malice,
Monster, mouse.
The first letter of my name,
That's what I think about.

A is for the asshole,
Whom I've never met.
The reason for my name,
The reason I hate it.

Y is all the yelling,
I've done inside my brain.
Made up confrontations,
The things I've planned to say.

K is makes the sound
Of the things he never was.
Kind, caring, compasionate,
He doesn't even know I exist I bet.

E is everything I wish I knew
The tid bits, the facts, the thoughts in his head,
Who he really really is,
Never asking, I wonder instead.

L is for love that I already have,
My mommy, my daddy, my brothers, and friends,
Have showed me that compassion and love never ends.
While my daddy is mine, and always will be,
Another I would never ask for,
At times I long, and wish to know,
The man I am named after.

A has two meanings for me,
One is filled with bitter disdain
Another reminds me,
The uniqueness of my name.
I love it I hate it, I would never change it.
It will be with me,
ALWAYS.
M-A-Y-K-E-L-A

My thoughts once so crisp and clear,
Have begun to jumble and come too near.
What once was stored in neat little files,
Is now tumbling through space unruly and wild.
A crystal blue lake, calm and serine,
Polluted, contaminated, no longer clean.
The toxicity of your touch,
The lust for your poison.
Threw my world too much,
Like I took a love potion.
I love you, with all of my heart,
But I love him deep within my soul.
Together you two cloud up my mind,
Like murky waters below.
So here I stand, on this bridge,
Staring endlessly down.
Here I dream of clear blue water,
While stuck inside the mud,
This murky ***** water,
Makes my heart fall heavy, and thud.

Isn't it odd how the less you want me, the more I want you?
Or how the less you're available, the more I want to see you?
How the more I think of you, the less I think of him?
And yet somehow I still love him so much.
I do not want to let him go, but I want you too.
Evil me.
Synnical me.
Stupid,
immature,
despicable me.
I love him with all of my heart, but somehow I still have feelings for you.
But you and I have never been together,
And at this rate never will be.
And this little tid bit of information drives me crazy.
I know for a fact you like me.
Though I don't say it.
You know for a fact I like you,
But you hide it.
I show to the world I love him,
We both know it.
So why do we play these flirty little games?
Texting all night, walking together in the hallways,
Songs on the radio remind me of you,
So flirty, so fun, exciting and new.
But he is one person I will not betray.
I love him so much, even more each day.
But for some reason you have the power to thwart our love.
Just enough to make me ponder, to puzzle.
What is it with you that gives off so much chemistry?
Especially when I am in love with another? it scares me.
You scare me in fact, no other way to say it.
I fear you because I am in fact so drawn to you.
Here in lies the danger,
Of human nature.

What can you say?
If there's no words inside you...
How can you run?
When there's no place to hide..
What can you see?
If the world tries to blind you..
Leaving your thoughts,
Tangled, unfree.

Struggling each day as we rush through the streets,
Never quite stopping, to really see what we need.
Not once do we ever,
Really meet,
The people who live in our worlds,
The people,
We pass every day on the sidewalks.
All jumble together,
Like sand in the sea.

No one stands out,
We try so **** hard to fit in.
But why should we fit in?
When its so easy to be different.
I am the bridge jumper parents are scared of.
The one spirit that is not afraid to be free.

Here I am,
Split in two,
My heart can not decide.

My stupid head,
Is getting in the way,
Curse you over active mind.

Once filled with thoughts of only one,
Now I'm second guessing.

Perhaps it's the way it should be,
But why? What is the purpose?

He loves me so much, I know it hurts,
To tell the truth I feel the same way.

For him I would do anything,
But why is my heart going astray?

But HE makes me laugh, HE makes me feel beautiful,
Always making me blush.

It seems to me that like I like HIM
And perhaps HE likes me too.

So there is love,
With phantom pain.
And like,
With painful pleasure.

I love the way he says "I love you".
But I also long to hear those words from another.

An affair of the heart, how can this be?
I feel so *****, so cruel!

But what is there for me to do?
I have not acted upon these emotions,
I have done nothing wrong.

How can you fix an affair of the heart?
If you find out please let me know.

I love the sounds leaves make when they crunch,
Under my feet,
I Love it so much!

The sound so crisp and clear makes me think,
Of a simpler time,
The clock stops with a click.

And suddenly there I am once again,
Heart open wide,
About to jump in.

A pile of leaves as tall as can be
I sitting there waiting,
Waiting for me.

With my leap of faith I dive in on my back,
I look to the sky,
Everything goes black.

Suddenly standing right where I was,
I return to from my thoughts,
The past becomes a fuzz.

In anguish I long for the sound to return,
I wish with all my heart,
It burns as I yearn.

Oh how it was being young and care free,
The days when the leaves,
Were waiting for me.

I* am who I am,
You are who you are,
Nothing can ever change that.
Sometimes roads alter how we behave,
That is a simple sad fact.
My life influenced me,
Yours influenced you,
There is no other way it could be.
No matter how much,
I want what you have,
You can not trade lives with me.

I met you,
And you met me
Despite all the possibilities

A billion people,
Inhabit the earth.
A million people,
Much more than i’m worth.

And somehow you settled,
with little old me.
I couldn’t have meddled,
To make a better history.

Because I have you,
So perfect, unearthly.
And you have ultimate power,
The power to hurt me.

It happened so fast,
In one little glance.
I hope it will last,
after all, it was just chance.

If I could spend
the rest of my life
Happy and true
It would be with you

This love we feel is just the beginning
I can hear the bells ringing
So loud
So proud

With you I would stand
My head held high
With a ring on my finger
And stars in my eye

With you I could see my self building a life
With triumphs and losses and plenty of strifes
But in the end we will rise to the top
Cause babe with our love we will never stop

Without you, my love
I will never be
Snug like a glove
In a new life, can’t you see?

Baby these words
Can’t even describe
The feeling I feel
So strong, surreal

With you once again
I promise to be true
And no one will ever love you
Like I do

What do you do when you feel so alone?
The black pitch of night
and a feeling, like a chill down your back
A premonition something, isn't right

Each shadow contorts
Each noise becomes suspicious
Villains with their cohorts
Show they are truly evil, and vicious

Prowling creatures, on the lawn
Psychos and Killers, lurk in the hall
Spiraling nightmares begin to spawn
But none can compare, to the worst of them all

The truth that lies behind the fear
The cause of the goosebumps on your neck
The taunting whispers in your ear
And those things, that make you a wreck

They are not the noises, or the shadows
No not the creatures on the lawn,
For they do not exist.
And tonight you are safe,
the killers left you off their list
The nightmares that lurk inside your head
Can all be explained by the note you read

The truth, they say will set you free
But ignorance is truly bliss indeed
A haunting fact, that follows you
Forever and always it will be true
The life you thought you once knew
Was just a fabrication, someone drew