What's in a name,
What's in a name?
Could it be pleasure?
Possibly pain.

M is for malice,
Monster, mouse.
The first letter of my name,
That's what I think about.

A is for the asshole,
Whom I've never met.
The reason for my name,
The reason I hate it.

Y is all the yelling,
I've done inside my brain.
Made up confrontations,
The things I've planned to say.

K is makes the sound
Of the things he never was.
Kind, caring, compasionate,
He doesn't even know I exist I bet.

E is everything I wish I knew
The tid bits, the facts, the thoughts in his head,
Who he really really is,
Never asking, I wonder instead.

L is for love that I already have,
My mommy, my daddy, my brothers, and friends,
Have showed me that compassion and love never ends.
While my daddy is mine, and always will be,
Another I would never ask for,
At times I long, and wish to know,
The man I am named after.

A has two meanings for me,
One is filled with bitter disdain
Another reminds me,
The uniqueness of my name.
I love it I hate it, I would never change it.
It will be with me,
ALWAYS.
M-A-Y-K-E-L-A

My thoughts once so crisp and clear,
Have begun to jumble and come too near.
What once was stored in neat little files,
Is now tumbling through space unruly and wild.
A crystal blue lake, calm and serine,
Polluted, contaminated, no longer clean.
The toxicity of your touch,
The lust for your poison.
Threw my world too much,
Like I took a love potion.
I love you, with all of my heart,
But I love him deep within my soul.
Together you two cloud up my mind,
Like murky waters below.
So here I stand, on this bridge,
Staring endlessly down.
Here I dream of clear blue water,
While stuck inside the mud,
This murky ***** water,
Makes my heart fall heavy, and thud.

Isn't it odd how the less you want me, the more I want you?
Or how the less you're available, the more I want to see you?
How the more I think of you, the less I think of him?
And yet somehow I still love him so much.
I do not want to let him go, but I want you too.
Evil me.
Synnical me.
Stupid,
immature,
despicable me.
I love him with all of my heart, but somehow I still have feelings for you.
But you and I have never been together,
And at this rate never will be.
And this little tid bit of information drives me crazy.
I know for a fact you like me.
Though I don't say it.
You know for a fact I like you,
But you hide it.
I show to the world I love him,
We both know it.
So why do we play these flirty little games?
Texting all night, walking together in the hallways,
Songs on the radio remind me of you,
So flirty, so fun, exciting and new.
But he is one person I will not betray.
I love him so much, even more each day.
But for some reason you have the power to thwart our love.
Just enough to make me ponder, to puzzle.
What is it with you that gives off so much chemistry?
Especially when I am in love with another? it scares me.
You scare me in fact, no other way to say it.
I fear you because I am in fact so drawn to you.
Here in lies the danger,
Of human nature.

What can you say?
If there's no words inside you...
How can you run?
When there's no place to hide..
What can you see?
If the world tries to blind you..
Leaving your thoughts,
Tangled, unfree.

Struggling each day as we rush through the streets,
Never quite stopping, to really see what we need.
Not once do we ever,
Really meet,
The people who live in our worlds,
The people,
We pass every day on the sidewalks.
All jumble together,
Like sand in the sea.

No one stands out,
We try so **** hard to fit in.
But why should we fit in?
When its so easy to be different.
I am the bridge jumper parents are scared of.
The one spirit that is not afraid to be free.

Here I am,
Split in two,
My heart can not decide.

My stupid head,
Is getting in the way,
Curse you over active mind.

Once filled with thoughts of only one,
Now I'm second guessing.

Perhaps it's the way it should be,
But why? What is the purpose?

He loves me so much, I know it hurts,
To tell the truth I feel the same way.

For him I would do anything,
But why is my heart going astray?

But HE makes me laugh, HE makes me feel beautiful,
Always making me blush.

It seems to me that like I like HIM
And perhaps HE likes me too.

So there is love,
With phantom pain.
And like,
With painful pleasure.

I love the way he says "I love you".
But I also long to hear those words from another.

An affair of the heart, how can this be?
I feel so *****, so cruel!

But what is there for me to do?
I have not acted upon these emotions,
I have done nothing wrong.

How can you fix an affair of the heart?
If you find out please let me know.

I love the sounds leaves make when they crunch,
Under my feet,
I Love it so much!

The sound so crisp and clear makes me think,
Of a simpler time,
The clock stops with a click.

And suddenly there I am once again,
Heart open wide,
About to jump in.

A pile of leaves as tall as can be
I sitting there waiting,
Waiting for me.

With my leap of faith I dive in on my back,
I look to the sky,
Everything goes black.

Suddenly standing right where I was,
I return to from my thoughts,
The past becomes a fuzz.

In anguish I long for the sound to return,
I wish with all my heart,
It burns as I yearn.

Oh how it was being young and care free,
The days when the leaves,
Were waiting for me.

I* am who I am,
You are who you are,
Nothing can ever change that.
Sometimes roads alter how we behave,
That is a simple sad fact.
My life influenced me,
Yours influenced you,
There is no other way it could be.
No matter how much,
I want what you have,
You can not trade lives with me.