I am a pretender...
Pretending my life is all okay
Putting the bad things on a shelf and put away
out of sight...out of mind

I am a pretender...
Why yes, that was the best two minutes of my friggin life
yes I was able to finish too honey, are you happy now I did
my duty as your wife

I pretend for you, I pretend for me
Of course you didn't see what I needed you to be

I pretend for you, I pretend for me
Who wants to always wear their heart on their sleeve
not me

I pretend for you, I pretend for me
Always trying to pretend that I am so very happy

If you want I will show you my ugly face
Let you see all the dark, in my darkest place
but, no one really wants to see all that

I learned to pretend to get me by
the truth hurts....it is just easier to lie

Release Me
Haunting Memories
Just let me be
Keep lingering around
Like I live in a ghost town
Feel goosebumps on my neck
Turn around to check
Like words I need to get to pen
These memories haunt from within
What's gone is gone
What's done is done
Cannot make it right
So release me into the night

Big city, big lights
Fast cars on fast lanes
Little ants moving so quickly
As if moving in another dimension of time
Trying to find that paved road that leads
To their aspirations and dreams
Searching for life purpose it may seem

There is another road, a dirt road
That leads to simpler times
Where a magic spell is woven
A timeless place has awoken
Where one can waltz with the stars and moon
Lips part and a stolen kiss shared
Taken to heights to soar and perhaps swoon
Observe nature and jot down lines
I will take that dirt road every time

Just bobbin along on lifes fabric ....
Hanging on by a thread it seems
when you ***** me with your needles I do bleed
Sometimes I feel like an alter is in store
other times maybe just a mend would endure.
Whatever the case this garment sure is binding
could use a little TLC and some unwinding

I used to think I was special ;  now I know!!

With want me eyes he wraps my hair around his fist
He then give it a little tug bringing me closer to his wrist
My lips wet, warm and inviting and already so long overdue
He starts off slow and soft as I feel his breath on my lips
his tongue traces my bottom lip teasing...giving me a little nip
His sweet kisses cause a warm wave to take over me
As he heats me up from the inside
Slick with a need and burning that only he can subside
He tweaks my ******* with his fingers through my shirt
A sly smile forms as he starts ******* me thinking of his dessert
His mouth and tongue start kissing its way down
tempting...teasing...and feasting
While I am just laying there...
trembling...needing...and pleading
Oh My ~ is all I could muster when his lips move
like a breeze over my thighs
Passion explodes as my will erodes
I revel in the sensation of being Conquered
and at the same time....*Conquering

I know this isn't Goodbye
but its so hard to think of you and not cry

You have been my rock and inspiration when needed
and the one who grounded me even though I pleaded
You were a beautiful person inside and out
and I only hope to make you proud
of me without any doubt

You could make everything bad be good again
with your loving hugs and beautiful smile
without you here there is a constant darkness
and my heart is so fragile

Cant believe all the things you've missed or will miss
rocking your sweet grandchildren to sleep
and putting them to bed with a kiss
Watching them grow up so fast
not knowing if what we try and teach them
to do or say is gonna last

I know your still around when I see a beautiful sunset
or when a warm breeze blows by
I have so many unanswered questions
and look up to God for answers why

The world is a different place without you in it
I hate we had such a short time before you had to part
One thing I will always know to be true Dear Mother
you will forever remain in my heart!!!

I know you can stimulate me with your hands
that's easy....:)
Now I want to see what you can do to my mind
Let's have a stimulating conversation
****** me with your words
Tease me with some ****** poetry
Sing to me a song from your heart
Tell me what you want to do to me....
Be VERY descriptive
Take your time with me ~let it last a little longer
The bond between us will only grow stronger

Ive never had a True Love Kiss
not really..

Someone to stand by my side when Im wrong
wrap their arms around me and make me feel like I belong

Someone to meet me on all levels mind, body, and soul
who shares the same likes, interests, and goals

Someone who knows me well enough that we need no words
our own language of unspoken thoughts not heard

Someone to make me laugh
and read to me on Sundays being lazy

Someone to make me feel safe
and make love to me like crazy

No I have never had a True Love Kiss
not really..

Just wanted to wish my HP family a Very Merry Christmas xoxoxo love you all and hope the holidays treat you well!!!

Eyes that undress me and devour
and look upon me as a delicate flower

Lips that softly kiss and taste
greedily savoring my sweetness leaving not a trace

Hands that need no prompting or words
they just read my body and thoughts not heard

Arms wrapped tightly around me, skin on skin
making me feel loved on the outside as well as within

Ah to see the world through the merriment
of a child's eye
To catch every lightening bug and see who can
make the best mud pies

To still believe in magic, fairy dust and
to make wishes on the first star
Blame someone else when cookies
go missing from the jar

To always have a sword in hand
so you can keep evil at bay
By remembering to ward off
the cooties while at play
Circle circle, dot dot
now I've had my cootie shot :)

To try and always be the first
to yell ~ SHOTGUN
To always wear my fast sneakers
so I can be the quickest one

To always remember the important things
Like when walking on the sidewalk....
Do not step on the cracks
unless you want to break your mom's back

Yes I have to be a grown up most of the time
Its good to know I can always revert in my mind
I also have Cayson to show me the way
To always remember how to pretend and just play

Oh to see everything as my son does see
Just brings out the very best in me!!!

I have a lot of darkness in me
but I have goodness too
and I try to fight off
how much dark trickles through

When I feel the darkness
try to rear its ugly head
I submerge myself in water
to wash away all the dread

I can hear my heartbeat in the water
and it lets me know I am still alive
I try and block myself off
to what is slowly trying to thrive

I close my eyes to the darkened images
and close my mind off as well
I dare not speak of any horror
and retreat into my protective shell

I emerge from the water
when I start to feel repaired
then I shift my focus to other people
my thoughts are needed elsewhere

I really need only two things
to turn me on
Nature is one
and your mouth is two

Nature provides the perfect backdrop
The moon and stars are the perfect lighting
The crickets and cicadas provide the perfect music
The lightning bugs dance around for us
A soft breeze cools our hot bodies off

Your mouth
I just stare at it
Watching your words
Drip down and fall
all over my body
As your tongue licks them all off
Soft and sensual and **** as hell

Actually I lied earlier
I do not even need nature
I only need you
Nature is just an added bonus

I still talk to you even though you do not answer
it just makes me feel better
Days like today when I wished you a Happy Mothers Day
I sent it up through the air in hope that it reaches you
I also write to you in my poems in hopes that you read them
Time has made it easier on my heartache and not to feel
But this hole in my heart will never heal
The love I feel for you will never be gone
and the memories I have of you will always live on

Staring what do you see?
                               While looking right through me!

You shimmer softly like the kiss anticipated upon my naked soul
and when I am with you I feel like I am whole
Your touch releases me ~ springs me from material bonds that bind me
I give over my heart to you, as within your sweet embrace I feel free
I am cleansed with you and have forgotten all my fears
and when I close my eyes ~ you shower away my tears
Your graceful curves cascade all across the open range
As your fluidity reminds me of the very current of change
One body against another writhing in waves of pleasure
and my love for you is beyond any amount of measure
Salt stained lips whisper softly as you wave me goodbye
Tell me, can you please guess ~ WHAT AM I ?

Look into my eyes and tell me that you don't love me
Tell me you really want to break up our happy home
Then and only then, will I leave you alone

I looked at you and you looked at me
How those sparks flew instantly
Oh how I thought you hung the moon
and the story of us began with a swoon

Then the story of us...became the story of you
and I grew bitter and thought things were through
I wanted to tell you I miss you but could not figure out how
I never knew that silence could be that loud

Maybe if we could just meet in the middle now
Maybe it will all get better somehow
Maybe now we can just kiss under that moon
Maybe our story isn't over .... it just started to soon

As the dawn breaks through and the first pinkish light
glows upon your skin
I teasingly pleasure you awake with my mouth and as your eyes open
that contented gaze is all I need for my day to begin

Everything after that seems to catch fire
a slow smoldering burn and all the hotter for that reason
Like someone lit a match and started a thousand forest fires
right in the middle of the dry season

Now descended from our blazing heights we lay holding each other
a grin lights up your face like a open window with no world beyond this room
we try and catch our breath and procrastinate as much as we can
because we know we will both have to leave soon

A single red rose surrounded by a
world made up of black and white
Just wanting to blend in
not make a fuss or cause any fight
This rose is very special
all the beauty she has on the outside
comes from the light she carries on the inside
Part of her beauty is the not knowing
and her ability to just blow in the wind
The trees would try and whisper to her
but she would never listen...
Until one day the whispering was so loud
she could not help but to just stop and hear
They said " It is okay to be different, embrace it
Be confident within yourself and you will be
amazed what changes you will then see."
"You see the change to accept who you are
is inside us all and then and only then
can you be who you truly are meant to be"
Soon this beautiful rose began to just blossom
and everyone saw this and wanted it too
Before too long there was a colorful sea of change
That came about as far as the eyes could see
The world accepted the rose and accepted themselves
and became who they are meant to be
So much color surrounds the red rose now that
she is never alone and whenever she wants a moment of solitude
she just goes and finds a nice shade ....
and Ya know what? she has never been so happy :)

Once a beauty, a sight for all to behold
Now a sad charlie brown replica with a story to be told

Whispered promises of gifts of time and care
Oh how the promises now float freely in the air

If only this tree could have felt the warmth of the sun
Who knows then what it would have become

Tangled limbs of times in the past
Leaves falling and falling off so fast

The words of love left and pinned on by you and me
have now started to also fall from this tree

Oh no there goes the love word Adore
now look there goes the one that says No I love you more

All gone now except for one left right below a small pine knot
I found the love words Please Forget Me Not

Yes neglected and left unattended for so long
but the root system is still quite strong

Maybe this tree can be restored, to what it was so long before...

All the love words could be returned along with all the leaves
All you have to do is follow through with all love promises
and *Believe

We have this powerful connection
One that can never be denied
You have left your mark on me
Never to be erased only grows deeper and wide

So I give to you my physical love letter
Communication void of any words
A deeper way of connecting just not heard
Messages through my eyes and kisses with my lips
and the gentle touches from my hands and fingertips
My mouth will form all the vowels on parts of you
without hardly making any sound
Then with the next breath I will erupt into a song
as the pleasure swirls all around

I surrender to you, and only you, because you look after my needs
Others pulled me along in their own selfish greed
You are what I yearn for and thirst
I surrender to you, and only you, because you surrendered to me first

Feel that? Its the wind of change blowing
Don't know what it is yet but I know its coming

I hope its bringing something good this time
because this wind has been here before
didn't bring me what I wanted
but sent me to sorrow's shore

Lost oceans  and troubled minds
Trees swaying and confused times
Looking around the shorelines for any sign

Wind is really blowing now
Should I stay or should I go

As I look in the mirror today and stare at my image
I begin to pluck out the gray and poke, tuck, and pull
I cannot help but see a different side to these wrinkles and gray
I see them more like my medals or my crown jewels

They are proof that I have made it through some tough battles
and I have made it to the other side of the unknown
Though I still have a long road ahead of me
I know I'll overcome because of my grit and backbone

Today I feel more wise and more comfortable in my own skin
Not relying on other people for my happiness I find the peace within
I don't worry about the outside as much these days
It's the good stuff on the inside that paves the way

I no longer have to be haunted by memories in my past
The future is not promised to me or any of us for that matter
The present is whats important because life just goes by...
Too **** Fast!!!

It was not a mere coincidence that we met this I now know
People come into our life all the time and help shape who we are
He came into my life to help me feel again....

Here I am
Wanting with this body
Thinking with this brain
Feeling with this heart
Looking out through these eyes
Needing to kiss with these lips
Touch with these hands

and touch I do
I perform for him quite often
My sounds of overwhelming intoxication is what he loves to hear
and I love to please him

Looks like someone has got their groove back :)

It is in the way that you
linger there
where
passion and pleasure meet
in liquid air

It is in the way your eyes
take me all in
the fever
ignites
like extracting a firing pin

It is in the way you
kiss me
flying, I soar
leaving a hunger on my lips
needing MORE

To feel close to you I now have to read your beautiful words
Then I imagine you saying them to me in a voice I once heard

I then wrap my arms around the air of emptiness
and try to remember our last kiss

You were all that I ever could or did want
Now lost to you my darkened eyes will forever haunt

You still are the music that plays ongoing in my heart
You awoken in me a melody even before my love for you did start

I relive all the memories of us together all the time
I know I will never see you again but I still revisit you in my mind

Will I ever get my fill of you or will you remain my lethal dose
I guess its plain to see I will be forever chasing your ghost

He comes to me with  such a force
as if moving through a wall of fire

Things are definitley heating up I say
as he puts his fingers to my lips
but no words are needed right now
we can save those for another day

He grips my shoulders, spins me around
and pushes me up against the wall
Satiating his sudden appetite
by taking my mouth, my body, my all

He works those masterful hands
over my body with such a talented skill
can't help but succumb to them
can't help but to just bend unto his will

Surprised and stirred I return the heat
as my fingers dig into his hips
not wanting the moment to pass
this moment that started with such a fiery kiss

Dream Lover come and see me this night
make love to me under the moons iridescent light
I want to look up and see your eyes
and stars staring down at me
At this moment no cares in the world
and no one around to hear or see
Floating in and out of a dream state of mind
Think I will just stay here awhile
where its easier to hide behind
Don't have to be dreaming to think of you
but in this dream world Ive created we can
be anyone we want and just play and do
If your half as good in the real world
as you are in my dreams than that's quite a lot
Too bad these dreams are all I got

The last time we spoke was just a lot of small talk
How you doing?  How are things?
There was so much more that I wanted to say
but did not...
Like, it was not an accident that I called you in the first place
That I miss hearing your voice and miss your beautiful words
I once had you captivated with all my southern charms
Now ~ do you ever think of me?
Do you ever dream of kissing me and having me in your arms?

The differences many.....
but we all share love of words

First Degree** ~ For the love of good food and drink. I love watching people eat the food that I have prepared and really enjoy it. This time of year is also very special with all the fall aromas in the kitchen and all around. I love mixing fire whiskey with an apple flavored beer Mmm so good.

Second Degree ~ The love of nature and our furry little friends. The unconditional love they have for us is amazing. I love all the euphoric senses of nature.  Watching a beautiful sunset or leaves turning colors, listening to birds sing their hearts out, tasting a snowflake as it falls on our tongue, feeling sand and water on your toes, and smelling the crispness of fall air and the smell of seasoned firewood.

Third Degree ~ For the Love of Poetry. We poets see the world differently.  We choose how we want to see it and our own reality of it. We can see things in fantasy or the factual. The world is our playground and we are constantly at play and being creative.

Fourth Degree ~ The love of family and friends. Having two beautiful wonderful souls as my sisters.  They are my best friends. My son having grandparents and cousins galore who adore him. My friends and family have helped me in so many ways and it's always good to reciprocate when possible. I love the feeling I get when I can help someone.

Fifth Degree ~ The love of a spouse. Your other half. When both people are in tune with each other they can make beautiful music. This is a work in progress for me. We have our good and our bad days but the love is there no doubt.

Sixth Degree ~ The love that I have for my child. This one is the easiest and the best love for me.  I wrote this when my son was born-
The one thing I will never lose touch with is that sweet little face looking up at me. No single word not even Love could possibly be enough for what I feel, nor will it ever be.

Seventh Degree~ The Love of God. I would not be able to experience any of these other degrees without this one first. He has seen me at my lowest and yet has still loved me. The love of god is full of grace and mercy.

Just as I hear the music that plays from within
As soft as a distant whisper or breath
Your touch has been memorized upon my skin
Like a kiss lost upon the wind.

A duet of our souls colliding
That forms its very own tempo
Hitting all the rhythms and beats
On the scale from adagio to allegro

Coaxing forth the sweetest of melodies
My maestro skillfully playing my every part
Drawing his bow against the tightly wound strings
To the hidden notes of his music written within my heart

Harmonizing in our own lover's chorus
Our bodies singing to a crescendo building
Moans and sighs become the music before us
Then collapse exhausted, the performance ending

A serenade to all who wish to listen to our song
Faces without names, lost among the throngs
And just like the music restored my hope
My maestro saved me when he came along

Such is the music that has cleansed my soul
Reminding me of all that I so adore
And having been once again made whole
I can only hope that he grants me an encore

Was just recently asked "How can you still smile when you are so stressed?"
Honestly, I think it is easy because I have learned to just laugh as a whole
Laugh at myself, at life, and just in general...it is good for the soul
Another way I deal with stress is the power of prayer
I know of ten people right now going through a harder time than me
So I pray for them and the people that I don't know or don't see
It helps to keep that focus off of me
The thing that helps me the most is the clarity I get with paper and pen
There is always a solution even if I do not see it right then
If I do not find a solution then I know I can at least make a good poem
                        
So laugh often, Pray when you can, and Write
You will feel better

I am totally Bewitched by all of your Words
even if I am The Other Woman  :)

Gone is the day of the endless emerald sea
now its time for a kaleidoscope of color
raining down on me

From the very moment you take your first breath
There was a clock that started taking time
As minutes, hours, and days pass you by
Life was put into play without the acuity of your body or your mind
Destiny holds all the playing cards
As fate lays out the crimson path at your feet
This future was written for you to ride out
Till you take your last breath and your heart beats its last beat
In your lifetime you will see some joy and also feel some pain
Life plays out before you and feels like it's running in the fast lane
You should be thankful for all you have and thankful for the here and now
For when it does all come to the end ~  just let go gracefully and take your bow

No more little girl frightened
Trying to stay quiet as a mouse
No more frightened
In a place she once
Thought of as her house

No Lucy has found solace in one of God's
Most smallest creatures the ~ Lightning Bug
but it does not make this any less extraordinary

The lightning bug is unassuming in the daytime
but lights up with its own night light at night
The darkness brings out its best gift

Lucy is also a light in the dark
For she has overcome unfathomable pain
Her house is a shadowy womb of horror and crime
But that is a story for another time

This is a story of hope and of Lucy
Darkness has plagued her long enough
Lucy identifies with the little living being
and she needed something to believe in

The best way to get rid of all that scary darkness
Is to turn on the light
Lucy's new friend has shown her this
Now she is able to smile through the pain
Like sunshine in the rain

She paints on that beautiful smile that you see
because she doesnt know any other way to be
Hiding and disappearing
has become her greatest game
Laughing and crying
are all one in the same
Sometimes it feels like she is running
but she is really standing still
no choice but to go with it
it was all against her will
She has totally lost herself
somewhere along the way
and uses her best defense mechanisms
when there is nothing left to say
Good times have come and gone
so many wasted years
so many empty promises
and so many Im sorry Dears