A ruby red slowly drips
down my bruised mouth, ****** denial
flowing off of trembling lips
droplets land, within your vial
 
My canvases blood draining
weak, an unconscious life 
lying on the floor, a painting
the creation by strokes of your knife
 
Stained walls, the room a flood
once more you dip your brush 
into your vial, drenched in my blood
striking my canvas, until a hush
 
With the painting of me complete
a beauty, now deathly art
his piercing strokes, stilled the beat
of my once pulsating heart.

Rusted gears no longer turning apace
neurons slowly transmitting signals within
though millions of impulses interlace
a current trapped, in a continuous spin
 
Memories, emotions and thoughts
never received, a conscious lost in circulation
my muscles distorted, left in knots
for impulses have yet to find their destination
 
Lifeless circuits stand still within my head
as blank eyes lock into a gaze
comatose, turning brain dead
awaiting a flow, through my minds maze.

Hovering above, thoughts absorb within a cloud
formed by fear and questions that lurk
profusely raining down on my mind aloud
there's no clarity seen through the murk

Unsure if my own thoughts even exist
influenced by others getting in my head
assisting fears, with no answers forms mist
this clouded mind is why I'm misled

The opening for others input has closed
as the raining thoughts of theirs subside
the answers left behind have been disposed
now my mind, the decisions I decide

With a chain around my own fears
my mixed thoughts locked, can now converge
as the once dense fog slowly clears
through the cloud of uncertainty, I emerge.

I find myself unconsciously knowing
What's been held all my years vastly growing
Deeply imprinted within my soul
Always open, sore, an empty hole
Feeling wounded, bleeding but nothing drips
Unveiling a heart that unzips
Open for all to see
What lies beneath, inside of me
Covered,drowning in tears
Consumed, overwhelmed, I hold many fears
Knowing this embracing it will set me free
Understanding, realizing this is who I'm meant to be
I feel it, you hear but cover your ears
I am alright the blur that was swiftly clears
Can't you see, put down your hands, uncover your eyes
Yes, I have a heart that always cries
I am built of sorrow, I say this strong
This is who I am, why change there's nothing wrong
I pray the way I am never ceases
That the sorrow that made me never vanishes.

Sitting on the curb, I wait
the light within me quenched
to live or die, is what I debate
as rain falls, my body drenched

Unseen, by the people walking past
that are unaware of my intention
these strangers to whom I contrast
unknowing of my need, for intervention

Depressions rain, drips down my face
I search for happy thoughts
within my mind, the past I retrace
as I come up with blank lonely spots

No joy has ever touched upon me
a walk off the curb, digs my grave
gone from this world, an escapee
a depressed soul, you couldn't save.

I'm awaiting to bloom
to rise through winter's ground
wash away sorrow's perfume
undrape harsh winds that wrap around

That sends a chill
this lonely breeze
as my eyes fill
cold tear drops freeze

Buried underneath snow
a precious sprout
awaiting to grow
for my time to break out

From a life that's lost
I wait through the cold
covered by frost
until I escape winters hold

Until the sun melts away
winter and pain
skies of grey
never to form again

To arise a hopeful blue
robins sing
petals come anew
as it turns to spring

I push through the earth
in my garden of recovery
to show my worth
my discovery

I've bloomed
touched by a loving shower
my colors resumed
I opened, a beautiful flower.

As two shadows were cast
hand in hand we walk
until love as though glassed
shatters, and our hands unlock

Time goes by, I discover
that our shadows we composed
vanished, behind clouds that cover
deep emotions I once exposed

Hidden rays no longer beam
love fades into the dark
eyes have lost their gleam
as sorrow leaves its mark

The day arose, clouds subside
I look down at last
seeing now tears have dried
only a single shadow cast.