I don't mind being used solely for physical purposes
Just so long as I have your utmost attention and your fleeting affection
For a few moments
Simultaneous sighs escaping from us as we get high off our chemical reactions to the passionate actions we are creating with one another
But I would hardly call you my lover
Love isn't just desire it's dedication and as soon as I make you *** your dedication will run dryer than the sands of the Sahara
And my heart is on fire
Because I don't mind being used solely for your own gratification
Even though you make me writhe when you're inside me
When I leave you're just another goodbye to me
Not that I want it that way, you see because I want you to like me
I want you to see me as the life source you've been looking to feed off of
I want you to inhale me as if I am the air that you suddenly need to breathe
I want you to look at me and not think I'm just a couple holes and a pulse
I want you to look at me the way you looked at me when we were on ecstasy because that felt so real to me even though we were both so far gone from reality.
Meeting you was some awful fate because you have stuck with me
I replay images of the only two nights I have ever known you over and over
Paradise, Nevada
It's ******* sad.
I threw away what dignity I had just so I could grab you just so I could hold onto you as long as I could manage
Cause I knew it was a myth
Too good to be true
A trip within my trip
The hallucination where I didn't have to drop acid in order to create it
You're another obsession
Another fantasy I have created so intricately in my mind
That I do not go a minute without thinking of it
I have played out every possible scenario in my head
Every which way we could be in bed
Again
I want it again
But I said it then
I meant it then
That once I had *** with you I would only want to again
And again
You're like the ink inside of my pen that I use when I scribble on the drawing pad of my imagination
My mind's eye gets so creative
I think about your kiss and your touch and your lips and the lust
The immediate attraction upon our first second of interaction
The way we danced and I didn't hate it
The way you talked and it made me elated
The way we ****** and I wished I could save it because for once I felt like everything was seamless
Fluid and effortless
Our chemistry was boundless
The connection felt endless
I felt so at home and I couldn't understand why
We had never known each other until the past night
And we will probably never know each other beyond that time
Never dreamed I would experience what I did
I do mind that it can never be relived.
I wrote this after a strange summer, what seems like an eternity ago. Found it deep within the recesses of my notes today.