Wave the white flag, I’ve officially retreated
I’m never gonna get the closure I needed

I seek commonalities in strangers and fill in the gaps with whimsical fantasies constructed from my own flaws and insecurities and decipher their every word waiting for them to prove me otherwise the version I know is not accurate and I stay blindfolded yet true in my intentions

If I were to be honest with myself
I'm worried about my sanity
For the first time in many years
But in admitting that
Means I handed you the bullets
And painted myself your pretty target
But I can't live with that
So I'll keep staring at the face
Thats filled with haunted mistakes

I was an easy target and your eyes were set to ****

Sometimes it's hard to be yourself
When people place you on a pretty shelf  
Only to look at, never to probe
Forced to fit in their perfect mold

She lets boys try to read her mind
They see it deep behind her eyes
Dark orbs full of such mystery
Yet you'll never know their history

Didnt really want you
I needed an escape
You were just a fill in
And someone to relate

You made it look so easy
Like we’d never even met
Leaving me here with only
These memories that I’ve kept

Closed minded conversations
"Black vs Caucasian"
The usual equation
Giving off bad vibrations  
The bleeding of a nation
Headline sensations
Stem from greek imitations

My soul is a thousand years old
I carry the burdens and baggage of many lifetimes
I've loved and lost over centuries
And I wonder which life was the best of them all

I know that you are long gone
But I still sit by your grave
Mourning what once was
Wonder if you do the same

She was always really fragile but it didn't seem to matter
They all ignored the fine print: please do not shatter
Hurt to take the bullets and shield her from disaster
Didn't mean to leave you but she told me to run faster
No one found the pieces to put her back together
Tried to fill their void but it was too deep to measure
No matter how many guys tried to put it aside
She could not mask her pain, she couldn't digest her pride
She could not erase the beginning she could only change the end
All of the boys and all of the men couldn't put her back together again

God I feel like screaming
Harnessing these demons
Can’t pinpoint the reason
Life, what is the meaning?

Seeing the good in someone is my fatal flaw
When will I ever learn that you can’t save them all

Our ping pong witty banter or your penetrating stare
The electricity my fingers felt running through your hair
A cig always in your hand & a smirk always on your face
These are some of the images that can never be erased

Alchemy means I can convert pain to gold  
But it takes lots of pain to transform your soul

So if your soul ever feels alone
Carve me out and build a home

Water seeps into their cracks
Provides them with what they lack
Fills them up so they feel whole
Diving deep into their soul
When they leave it evaporates
Replacing love with just hate

Frozen in the same spot you left me years ago
If only Father Time wasn't irreversible

Realized too late that you’re a plot with a twist
I’m not the narrator, i’m the protagonist

My heart betrays me, it prefers you still
Like the cat lusts the bird from the windowsill

Thank you for the delayed closure
It has helped me to see the light
Now my wings aren’t so heavy
And I can finally take flight

In my sadness I stood completely still
Finally ready to release how I feel

I wasn’t born with a door
I had to build one for myself
To keep out people like you
Who place me on a dusty shelf

You always said you were bad at words
I guess music was more of your thing
But how can we communicate
When neither one of us can sing

So I am hanging on by a single ******* thread
And everyone around me is running with scissors
Like I’m not already filled with existential dread
Like I won’t unravel at the sight of their clippers

Sunrise sunset
Don't drown urself in so much regret
The hours pass the days fly by
Your waiting on yourself to die
Breathe in breathe out
Don't burden urself with so much doubt
Searching for someone you wish you knew
Time is an obstacle don't let it deceive you
Look up not down
You got to keep swimming or you'll drown
The search is over the suspense is lost
Ur life is fleeting we all pay the cost
Good morning good night
Don't perish before you give up the fight
Darkness doesnt always suppress the light

When I spoke from my heart it penetrated the soul
That's why all those girls have never filled your gaping hole

I don't know what I'm doing
I cannot find my way
Growing more and more stagnant
Another Groundhog Day

You know the gift that keeps on giving
When you learn how to mourn the living

I looked at your picture today and felt nothing for the first time
Felt deeply gratifying yet hollow like a piece of me had died
It ached like nothing had before but still I somehow couldn’t cry
No matter how hard I tried all I managed was a relieved sigh

I’ve spent a lot of time cultivating my uniqueness to just pour it all out for free
But I will let you share this lonely and destitute space with me

Waiting on love, she better come soon
It's like squinting at the sun wishing for the moon

Just like the moon goes through phases
Love and hate we go through stages

They say:
If they love you, then they'll return
To never let your bridges burn
But as far as I am concerned
You're just another lesson learned

Dear moon, please do tell us your story
It's hard not to ponder your origin while reveling in your glory.

I am alone in my own world, really
You are a foreigner you cannot feel me
The atmospheres venom it can **** so easy
Will cloud ur emotions, make you feel weezy
Open your brain & invite me in, stay with me now
I'll give you plenty of oxygen that's all I'll allow
No secrets in here lt does not appease me
So lay down your heart but please do not fear the uneasy

I was the moth to your hypnotic flame
You're the hypocrite that casts me shame
I'm the girl with good intentions
You're the ***** with cruel rejections
I'm the moral of every story
You're only in it for kicks and glory
You're the ashes and I rise like smoke  
You're just the **** of a really bad joke

Regrets are hard to live with
Regrets are hard to swallow
Wherever you try to run
Then surely they will follow