do recovering ****** users go to brunch?
and
would it be inappropriate to ask?

Where am I supposed to go when I feel like
turning every thought I have into pink moscato puke?

When I take four too many hits
so someone else's lips can start to feel like yours?

How am I so easily fooled by good intentions,
by squinted smile eyes, by my own ******* desire to be loved
by someone who isn't a coward?

Having a bible verse tattooed on your ribs
doesn't mean you're a good person,

Its just means you have something to prove.

I wish I was warmer
I wish that parents and babies liked me
and I wish that I came off a whole lot more yang
than I come off yin.

I will not continue to regret my contradictions
because I am an atheist who cannot let go of god
I am a lover who loves so hard it comes of as hate.

I will not continue to carry the burden left by bad days
by bad people whom I cant convince myself are all that bad
by bad memories that feel like rubber band snaps.

I will not continue to wait for things to make sense
and I will not wait for clear skies to see stars.