Emily

Emily Dec 2013

Asexual

Asexuality
Being attracted to no one
Having no *** drive
They say it can stem
From confusion
Who do I want
A boy
Or a girl
Or both
I don't know
But I just wish
I could have ***
The mental blocks
They hold me back
And I'm just here
By myself

Someone so selfish tried to argue with me about my feelings and who I'm attracted to. Thought they knew everything about what's inside of my heart and my mind. Seriously irked me. I just wrote this quickly.

© Peyton 2013

Emily Dec 2013

Every Day

I understand that what I did was a little unorthodox, to say the least.
But whenever I looked into your eyes and saw all the pain bottled inside
The only thing I would allow myself to do, day in and day out, was try and fill those eyes with happiness
And I did
It's too bad I no longer can
If I had it my way
I'd make you happy
Every day

not even sure if this is a poem... wrote it a some days ago, honestly.

© Peyton 2013

Emily Dec 2013

Die Inside

I die inside
When I think of how much I want to love him
But I'm stuck loving you instead

20 words.

© Peyton 2013

Emily Dec 2013

My Looks

I don't often look in the mirror
I'm not pretty, rather ugly
I'm not in shape, pretty fat
I don't like what I see
So how could anyone else like it
Every time I look in the mirror
I'm reminded of why I'm not chosen
Why I'm not loved romantically
It's my looks

I'll never be shallow.

© Peyton 2013

Emily Dec 2013

Heart On Fire

My heart feels on fire
I lay in bed and think of you
Tears slowly roll out of my eyes
One by one
Just like it does right before
A thunder storm is about to take place
My tear droplets analogous with rain drops
My thoughts replacing the sound of thunder
How you reeled me in so perfectly
With the way you'd tell me things
The way you'd lie
I always still wonder why
What was the point of making me weak
So weak I'd do anything for you
Making it impossible for me to give you up
You lifted me up so high
Only to throw me back down
So far down that an indention
Formed in my soul
I loved you so sweetly
So genuinely
Isn't that what you want?
I'll never have you
My heart is truly on fire
Burning for the one
I can't have

Emily Dec 2013

*******

**** people
Who tell you they're in love with you
When they aren't
**** people
Who like to lie to others
Just to make themselves
Feel better
*******
For doing that
To me

Emily Dec 2013

Never Again

I look back
And I laugh at myself
For being such a fool
You made a mockery of our love
Hardly ever took it seriously
Or me for that matter
I put up with you
For longer than you ever deserved
All that love and passion
Is now slowly and surely
Transforming into a deep hatred
I allowed for so much time
And so many tears
To be wasted on someone
Who is now insignificant
You warned me plenty of times
Of you not being deserving of me
But I gave you the benefit of the doubt
I always saw the good in you
But then all of the deceit
Ruined that image completely
I'm afraid we can't even be friends
Not then, not now, not again