Here's the thing about this place...
I'm glad you love it. It is a great home.
but its history is unknown by those whom like the face.

There have been a number of occurrences that are... abnormal.
Those who live within these walls experience a change.
This place was the site of some strange rituals.

In the basement is an odd device
That grants the user the power of immortality
For an even stranger price of venality

what does that even mean?

Basically, you have to put yourself in life threatening danger
every month in order to retain that skill.
Stranger, your fear of death and you life will never distill.

**Would you take that deal?

snowflakes spin
around the tip of my cigarette
a cold galaxy
at the edge of my breath

(published in Dark Pens issue 1)

I blamed you before, but not anymore
I'll cry out my pain, stop beating the horse slain
I'll move past the lies, stand up tall and try
I swear I'll be great, when I'm given my clean slate

I won't forgive him, no, I won't hate him though
He did me wrong, yes, but it's time to move on
I'll put down my knives, maybe have one last cry
I'll suit up for hardships, stop running from relationships

I'll fix myself up, take risks and try my luck
I won't be scared of everything, I'll live for the next spring
I won't hang myself anymore, I know fixing me up was a chore
And you won't have to worry, because this time I'm sorry

You'll never have to hurry home, wondering what I've done
Never have to cry, thinking, once again, I've tried to die
I'll start looking for love, maybe give someone my trust
I won't fester in my hurt, I'll actually do my work

I'll be better, I promise
I'll be better, I swear
I'll be better, in time
I'll be better this year

I'll find the people who love me
For being only who I am
I'll find those people and you'll see
I'm no longer the sacrificial lamb

And yes, this is my revenge
Living the best I can
And I'll live to show him I'm better
I'll be better than that man

I'll learn from his mistakes
I'll treat my children right
I know I've what it takes
I'll make it through these nights

So just wait for me
If you think I'm worth the time
I'll fix myself
And take the life that's mine

I am sorry
I wish I could make it easier
This is not a test
We both know the truth
I have you in my heart, I want your loving real
I am sorry
The love we could conjure is just that-
An indescribable illusion, masterfully crafted
But
It is not grabbable
I will not spoil my mind
Only to starve my body, heart and soul
The sight of you brings light into every essence of me
But it is torture
It is pain to parade our minds in front of my lonely body
I am sorry
If your mind disallows you from understanding
I am sorry
I love you too much
I treasure our true love
Too much
Too much to denounce it to the space and time and viewing of so many
Our love is special
Our love is true
Our love is deep
Our love is wonderful
Our love is electric
Our love is illuminating
Let our love be real.

I recall the feel of our bodies pressed tightly in the backseat. The freedom of letting my fingers linger over your palm and up your arm, around your neck, and adams apple. I’d always wanted to know a body, not just the unexposed places between our thighs. Because everything is forbidden. The cool feel of placing my cheek to chest. The intimacy of hearing a heart beat on a quiet night in the summer. The way it will murmur secret love and secret shame. My hands, making a map of the placement of your face, will draw along your cheekbones, high and freckled slightly, down to the lips which part and tell me to never stop. Skin stretching over muscle and bone. Timid virility. Reaching and searching for validation in my touch. This is what we give each other.

Why?