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most days, i feel like
everyone around me
is made of glass
and i am
impenetrable cement
strong, but unable
to feel anything

i am damaged
which makes me
dangerous because
i know what i can
survive
i am skin stretched over seashells that refuse to break
trying to make room for the things i should feel has been rough
i know i was angry with you the other day, but today in the car,
the CD you gave me played the song that you found, with the lyric
"if you think that i'll wait forever, you are right"
god i hope i'm right.  i hope i can learn you like you learned
me after you got sober. i want to spend however long i have
listening to your heart beat, that's less of a heart beat but
more of a death sentence. i know you can paint a sunset
on my body in the form of bruises and i know i can tell myself
that i like it until i do. the next time i see you, i will wrap the
road around your neck like a tie and tell you
"you're not going anywhere and neither am i."
blue pt. II - waxahatchee
 Jul 2014 Megan Grace
brooke
I should tell him all
about how I am 75%
of everything he does
not want, but I need
to believe that I am
made with sea foam
with pollen for blood
with coriander seeds
and pomegranates
that to someone
else I could be
all of these
things.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
 Jul 2014 Megan Grace
gd
Memory Lane
can be lethal, you know;
it fills the cracks between your skin and
occupies the spaces between your fingers.

Trudging along its narrow path
can cause you to trip on everything behind you
without even trying to,
allowing the colours of every sky
to fill the depths of your beating heart
only to freeze it right in place.

A plague of some sort
bringing pangs and plunges of unmistakeable euphoria
and nostalgia
and realization of the drastic ephemeral nature
of anything and everything—amazement and wonder
lead by sorrow and loss.

Because Memory Lane is a traveller,
a nomad in this mind of yours,
unable to settle on specifics so it sets its net
on everything around it, bringing back sentiments of
every little thing
you thought you had forgotten.

It sets up camp in every crevice of your spine,
leading the way
but always waiting for
no one.

gd
{there's not a single thing in this world
that I haven't sewn your name into,
and I'm regretting it,
I'm regretting it,
I'm regretting it}
 Jul 2014 Megan Grace
gd
Remember when you bought me three pears
because you knew I loved them? One wasn't
ripe at all—took the jaw of lion to crack that
open. Another had gotten smushed under the
weight of my books, leaving pear juice and
residue at the bottom of my backpack, and the
last just made the cut but fell to the floor after
my second bite. We laughed it off, smiling like
lovers & I told you that you ****** at choosing
fruit. But yesterday I stumbled around the city,
intoxicated and nostalgic under all those lights,
trying to grasp any form of support, hoping it
would be your hand on the other end. Passing
the same spot from our first date and that time
we skipped school just to feel invinsible and so
in love, I realized that those three pears were just
some twisted reminder that we ****** at timing,
too.

gd
 Jul 2014 Megan Grace
brooke
thin.
 Jul 2014 Megan Grace
brooke
i am scared
he will blow
straight through
me, and i am a
fresh cut in the
wind, an open
blister under
water, I have
not felt this
vulnerable
in a while
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
You fell in love with me.

I just hope you jumped.
Not slipped.
 Jul 2014 Megan Grace
brooke
let's be honest
sometimes I turn
towards the wall at
night and close my
eyes, I can see your
hairline, a fracture
of scoliosis in your
curved spine, I can
almost trace
the bumps of
your vertebrae
through that
thin cotton
sweater

let's be honest

you start to turn over
before I lose you in the
geometric dark, sometimes
our eyes play tricks on us and
we see colors, well, sometimes
mine play jokes and I see you.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014


inspired by this poem: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/765878/boy-meets-world/
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