i was hoping that if you kissed me enough
in places where i thought i was dead

flowers would grow

but i am not a garden
and my dear,
you are far from a dose of fresh water and sunlight

An absurd, charming little laugh
Her voice was a wild tonic in the rain
Each speech, an arrangement of notes
A singing compulsion
Impersonal eyes
A thrilling voice
The absence of desire
Beautiful little fool
Her face was sad and lovely
With bright things in it
That was a way she had

she liked tea with sugar and lemon
always smelled like peppermint soap
and her hair fell in ringlets around her shoulders
like a golden halo
her handwriting was neat and pretty
her eyes were dark and wide like galaxies begging to be explored
she was a pleasant girl

he dove into her seemingly infinite galaxies
and found out she was not as sweet and clean as she appeared
she was broken
from her split ends, paper cuts, and cracked skin
to the thoughts that flooded her brain at night

from a distance
the girl was spotless and confident
but when people got close enough
they realized that she was far from pleasant
and definitely not spotless (she was a mess)

her wholesome appearance attracted him
he fell
and found that she
was cracked

she said i only love the
enticing parts of people,
the same way i highlight
my favorite lines in books
so i’ll have something to
focus on when i decide
to blow the dust off their
spines.
you’re missing everything
and you know it and
you don’t care,
she said.
you’re missing the real
parts. you’re cheating people
out of themselves.

even then, i wanted to
quote her.