streetlights ignite
the darkness after nightfall
setting the shadows ablaze
and, all the while,
remain endlessly
unprecedented unattractive unappreciated and unnoticed
despite their best intentions
and unaltered loyalty to illuminate our nights

without them, nighttime wanderers
would be absorbed by the night
and not be seen til morning
they are the only guides left
when twilight swallows the adventurous whole

so this is a thank you
to the undervalued streetlights

I wish there was a way
to know you're in the good old days
before they're over

because I always take good things for granted
then regret it
when they're gone
and wish for nothing other
than to have those good times back

I always saw myself
as a mere sunflower
in your world of roses
until the night we were lying in your basement
and you quietly admitted
you thought
sunflowers
were the most beautiful flower of them all

now I'm your sunflower
in a world of roses

kiss him while you still have the chance

kiss him
because his love will fade
with the summer heat

kiss him again
because his forevers
will turn into nevers

kiss him once more
because summer loves
only lead to winter heartbreaks

kiss him goodbye and never look back

with his flirty smiles,
charming words,
wandering eyes,
and broken promises,
he seems to have
mastered the art of
breaking hearts.
although his masterpiece
would have to be
kissing me once
then never again,
leaving me shattered
with the only remedy being
his heart.

I think
I would spend
less time being sad
if I didn't fall in love
every time someone
treated me like
I was
worthy

and I swear to god,
he is Midas
because the memory
of his hand on my waist
makes me feel
golden

you shine so bright
that the weeds in my chest
grew towards you
and bloomed
into flowers
that couldn't be called
anything other than
love

I have a crush on a boy
who makes me angry
with everything he does

because everything he does
is without
the thought of me

while everything I do
is laced
and clogged with
the thought of him

he kidnapped my heart
like it was a scared little child
but soon returned it without ransom,
battered and bruised,
with a tone of disgust in his voice
and a distant look on his face.
I guess his greedy mind
got very bored,
very fast
with my broken little heart in his hands.

I've begun to hide
the memory of his smile
between my bones
so I can still feel him
fill my empty spaces,
even when he's worlds away

I always held you in my heart
   while you held me at arms length

but by the time I forced you out of my heart,
   you finally held me in your arms.

After all this heartache,
   my heart is scarred
and I don't know where to hold you.

      (all I know is that your arms feel like home)

can you find me
a silver lining
cause all my life
they have been hidden away
in the darkest corners
of the night
far beyond my reach
and even far beyond yours

all this searching
led to me thinking that
perhaps I do not get a silver lining
maybe everything is meant to be
grey
grey
grey
and my searching
was for nothing

after all this time lost
with no reward
I have come back to you and
I have realized
I was misguided
this whole time
because you are my silver lining
you have always been a beacon
of sunshine and hope
on my dismal little life

I know I have spent
all my days and
all my nights
searching
for something that has been
beside me
all this time

I can picture us fitting together so nicely
my fingers interlocked with yours
and your intoxicating smiles meant only for me

you’ve been dominant in my heart for so long
I’m not sure how anyone could take your place
and I don’t think anyone ever will

some days my overwhelming feelings
give me a few seconds of courage around you
but then I get scared and can’t manage to say hello
and avoid the eyes that so regularly fill my dreams

we could be perfect
but I can’t bring myself to let you know

and I swear
I could tear my rib cage to shreds
if it meant I'd finally feel something again
*(nothing's really felt like anything
since us)

I'm tired of only being able to write
about love and heartache

I want to grow
and expand
and mature

I want to learn
about the world
and all that it holds

I want to be my own person
away from the infactuation
and obsession

I want
to be
m o r e

it's almost scary how fast
we went from
us
to subway transfers littering my bedroom floor
from the night that everyone was there
but you

I can't let go of little pieces of paper
with your city
scribbled all over them
because all I have left
is memories of you
not
being
there

maybe the reason why
I can only write at night
is because that’s when we
were truly us
you first held me in your arms
and nervously kissed my lips
in the faint light of the stars
and now that you’re gone
the light of the stars
illuminates my will
to fill the hole you left
with anything I can
like words of my affection
for the boy that is no longer mine

you whispered the empty promise of forever in my ear
and I drank it up,
let it fill my lonely soul

the persuasive ways of lust made me believe everything you said
and that we weren't going anywhere soon

but look where we are now
I haven’t heard your voice in months
and you seem content with your new life without me
without even the thought of me

you’ve taught me that
nothing
nothing
nothing
lasts forever

everyone always admires

the stars

and the rain


but what about

the sun

on those summer afternoons


where it’s just a little hot

but the breeze cools it down


where you don’t need a sweater

or a bucket for your sweat


where it's easy to be overflowing with joy

instead of complaints about being too hot or too cold


these are the times 
when life is truly lived


the perfect weather

for the perfect memories

happy birthday to the boy
who receives the same gift
(my heart) every year
and who every year
refuses to accept it

happy birthday to me
in 48 hours time
a simple 2 days from now
a simple 2 days from him
a simple 2 days apart

maybe this year he'll realize
that all I want for my birthday
is for him to accept my gift
with all of his heart
and we can live the only day of the year
when we are no longer the same age
with our hearts
intertwined into one

on the days
where you're still worlds away
and I can feel your absence everywhere,
even inbetween my bones,
I find salvation
in the thought of us even existing
in the same lifetime
and how lucky I am
to be able to love
someone as captivating as you

courtly love
compassionate love
fatuous love
tragic love
romantic love
I'll take any kind of love
over the emptiness
of unrequited love

somedays he is a snowflake,
cold
and small
and pretty
and solitary.
others, he is a sunset,
vibrant
and warm
and beautiful
and unique.
but day in and day out,
whether sunset or snowflake,
he is nothing but himself,
handsome
and special
and mine.

I don’t think I’ve ever believed in soul mates
that there’s a person out there whose heart beats only for mine

but then I met you

and you smiled that terrible smile
laughed that horrible laugh
and promised me the whole **** world

making me fall in love with
every
unpleasant
detail

I think you’ve taught me that soul mates really do exist

as time went on,
all I wanted was my lungs
to be filled with
you
you
you
because you made me feel alive
in a way oxygen never could.
but, the fact of the matter
is that you can never truly fill your lungs
with the same air twice
so you were there
and then you were gone
and I've been gasping for you ever since

I was sure you would be strong enough
to carry my heavy heart
but in time,
you proved you couldn't bear the weight
and now you've left me
with a heart
twice as heavy
as before