The air in me keeps changing
Floating
Me around
until I find myself
and land
back down on the ground.

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The sweet smell of the grass and rain,
The chorus of birds, rain and music,
It all mixes into a joyous dish of life

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The sadness gets ****** into my marrow
I can’t see it anymore
Is this happiness?

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"I'm not gonna change for anyone"

I'm not asking you to reassemble yourself to my heart's content,
A bunch of puzzle pieces to arrange and rearrange

I never wanted you to bend and twist into a desirable configuration for me,
Or to stuff yourself into any sort of box that I fancy.

I just wanted you to try.

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Screaming in the darkness
Gasping for light
So cold and...
Claustrophobic?

Can't I find a candle?
I don't even want the sun to come up
I just need something.

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I breathe out heavy air,
Chest heaving every time.

Feeling my ribs turning to wood is
Interesting

Water keeps breaching,
And it's just a lot.

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Beauty in pain,
Pain in beauty.

No.
I reject that.

Beauty in love,
In happiness and full hearts.

Pain is cold and dark and ugly.

Why do we glorify its dungeon?

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Ripping out cords of my own muscle,
I don't want to feel like this.

Tissues aflame with agony, and
I can't do anything about it

My lungs are breathing air, but somehow it's hollow?

How did I get here?

I stare blandly at my reflection.

"Make use of suffering."

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I wish I could run to the ocean the way water does,
Tossed and turned,
Uncaring.
Just floating.

Life would be so easy

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Everything feels so unreal
None of this is mine
I do not claim it

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Blind faces stare at me
They say these things,
Little whispers from around the corner

I feel a million little ****** on my skin.

Everything and nothing all at once.

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I run my hand through my hair and pull it away
For some reason I expect to see blood?

Hemorrhaging all over,
I can't stop it.

Won't someone help me?

me.gs