You hold needles,
Tiny sharp skewers
Pick pick picking away

A thousand lances over time
**** the strongest of animals

And you just won’t back down.

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The harsh edges of the wood dig into my shoulders;
Tired again

I have walked for so many miles,
And yet

The sun's glare has never changed,
Burning and unyielding

May I walk at night?
May I share this burden?
Or must I walk on,
Red-hot

From the outside out

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Can you unmoor me from these feeling?
The deep dark anchor-anger
Of powerlessness
To my own self

Of never being able
To escape the darkness completely
And breathe solely in the light

Everyone loves me for my strength, but
Can you love me for my weaknesses?

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You love pain
You don't love me

I hope that one day
With the passing of the clouds overhead
Your darkness passes you

And you can sit in the sun,
Well and truly

And not want to hide

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Liquid mercury sits in my heart
I think
What other explanation could there be

For the constant weight in my chest,
Never gone

Or the slow poisoning of what I know to be true

I’ve begged for a reason,
An explanation
So many times

But my eyes are dim with misunderstanding
And I am no closer to the truth.

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My love,
Were you ever really mine?

You shield away so many times I wasn’t
Sure
I cried so many times and you didn’t
Care

I force these words onto paper,
I know you don’t want them

And I angrily gather my things,
Once again
Disappointed.

Here I stand, with my heart in my hands,
And nothing
To show for it all

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Regretful tongues
Can’t take
Anything back

Regret now,
Guilt later,
And tomorrow?
Then comes the pain

Pinpricks inside my ribs
A slow squeezing of my chest cavity
My heart closes

No more for me, thank you!

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