I think you must have
Painted yourself
On the inside of my
Eyelids
Because when
I close my
Eyes, eyes, eyes
You're all that
I can see
And how can I
Ever hope
To escape
You
When you're stuck
In my brain
Latched,
Latched on,
Like a magnet
You've pinned me
Down
And I can't get
Away
From you
So, please,
Either set me
Free, or just
**** me
I can't take
Anymore of this

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The sun beats down on the new leaves
The leaves,
They are:
Fresh,
Tiny,
Fragile,
And so green my eyes hurt to look at them
The world is exploding
Exploding with new life
And, here, witnessing it all,
Stand I,
A mere pawn in this game


The sky, bluer than the sea
The trees, greener than a jealous man,
The sun, brighter than the twinkle in your eyes
I can do nothing except sit here and witness it
And I couldn't care less

If this is all there was to life,
I would be quite content

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I mean, sure, I'm not the best at math
And I don't always make all my shots
Sure, I forget things sometimes
(A lot)
But one thing I am good at
Is loving people who don't love me back
My life is just a
Series of Unfortunate Events
of the heart

...

I honestly don't know why I'm surprised anymore
I've given away my heart so many times
I'm surprised I still have it

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With these words in my throat
And a pen in my hand
There's not much else to do,
Except
To spill it all out on here,
Hoping,
Wishing,
Wanting, dare I say,
To gain some semblance of understanding
Of myself

How ridiculous is it,
That I can't even figure myself out in my own head?
Maybe it's because there's too many thoughts flying around,
Pinging around my skull,
Clouding my thoughts

So the only way to understand it all,
Is to throw some of my **** on these pages
And hope some of it sticks

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I write a lot about the sun
I suppose it's my god, in a way
Some people worship Jesus, some Allah,
But me,
I am a person of the sun and its life-giving rays
For me,
The sun stands for:
Hope, change, love, life...
All
It's a symbol of my rebirth
And how life,
It goes on,
No matter how dark and bleak it gets
I'm eternally grateful for the sun

My Sun

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A nervous energy fills my body
Anticipating, perhaps,
What I'll have to do in short time,
Dodging, flying,
Flinging, kicking,
Myself all over the field
I've done this many times before,
With the sleepy morning sun in my eyes,
Or warming my back with its rays,
In a quiet moment,
I can see the dust motes floating through the air
They give the game,
Almost,
An ethereal quality
As if the shouting and noises
Are nothing more than ghosts from games past,
And us, the players,
Are simply floating along in teh ether,
Looking for something

Regardless,
The game is coming,
And I,
I am ready

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The pounding of my heartbeat in my ears
It throbs like the beat of a song
Slow, slow,
Then fast,
So fast I couldn't dance to it even if I tried,
So fast I think my hear will explode
If I'm not careful
And as we all know,
One has to be careful with one's heart
Considering it runs our entire being,
One would think they wouldn't be so..
Fragile
Fragile as a newborn baby's skull,
Fragile like the glass in a china cabinet

That's life, though
Fragile, but beautiful
Maybe that's what makes it so pretty
The notion that,
At any moment,
It could all come crashing Down,
Crumbling like bones in the wind

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