When I was younger
My mother taught me
To always apologize
If I do something wrong

At five years old
I did not realize
How many mistakes
I would make

How much longer
Do I say I'm sorry
Until I break?

i. do not confuse love and obsession. love is only real if you have a connection on both sides of the relationship.
ii. it's okay to not always be happy. occasional sadness is healthy for the soul.
iii. life is not fair, at all. you can spend years thinking you're in love with someone while they spend years never thinking about you.
iv. do not treat yourself as others treat you. you are who you are, nothing will change that, you might as well love yourself.
v. love is rare. people get married all the time but that doesn't mean they love each other. sometimes we just get lonely.
vi. feed yourself. your body is a beautiful flower that you must fill with food and nutrients, why would you purposely try to destroy something so wonderful?
vii. maybe we were in love, maybe we weren't. either way we're *******. if we were in love then something must have torn us apart, but what? can it be fixed? if we weren't in love, which I'm guessing we weren't, you moved on to another girl who let you wither away.

I would never let my gorgeous flower wither.

I knew one day you would leave
But I still couldn't have prepared myself
For the excruciating pain
That came from loving you

I recall nights spent in circles on my floor
With tears spilling from my eyes and wrists
I remember your face when you promised to stay
You seemed so sincere

Maybe you didn't mean for us to end that way
Maybe you thought we really would last forever
But I grew bitter
And you grew sicker
And the stitches that held us together
Began to rip from the seams

I tried to tell myself
That you would come back some day
That we would meet in a coffee shop
And know that losing touch was a mistake
But instead
I see you at parties
And through mutual friends
And I sleep in the same bed with you sometimes
But I'm not allowed to touch
Not allowed to kiss
Your body
So I sit on the edge of the bed
And listen to you breathe
You were always such a peaceful sleeper

I wish I would've known
That all the nights I spent bawling
And all the phone calls I'd make to you
Would not change the fact
That you don't love me
Anymore

So I feel like I should say sorry
For calling your mother at 3am
Just to see if she could get you to talk to me
I am sorry
For the nights I spent asking you
To come back
When I knew you didn't want to

I'm sorry
For bugging you
I'm sorry

I let you have every piece of my soul

I swear if you asked

I'd let you swallow me whole

I don't know why bad things happen
But sometimes I look into a mirror
And I see a haunting in my eyes
There's a ghost of you inside me
You want to leave
I want you to leave
But somehow you have become incorporated
Into the home of my soul
I don't know why bad things happen
But I know they never happened
When I was with you