MD - Hello Poetry

MD Sep 2016

I remember the first time I truly saw her.
My eyes fixated on the curve of her lips and the gentle flow of her red hair.
I prayed to a god I was not sure existed because I needed to keep this girl around.
The green in her eyes reminded me of the time I took too many pills and saw an angel.
I'm lucky to have a piece of heaven in my arms.

MD Sep 2016

I Love Her

This is the kind of feeling that is best described in stores from successful authors and movies starring famous actors.
I don't have the capacity in my vocabulary to expand my thoughts beyond the words, "I love her,"
And I mean it, I really love her.
I am looking at her in awe because freckles are something I never knew I could fall for.
I used to believe in pain as the muse for all artwork,
But I'm writing today because I've never felt more at home.
There has been a shift in my heart and I'm no longer afraid of this person I'm becoming.
I am growing into the shape of someone filled with love.

MD Aug 2016

we are light years ahead of everyone else and we promise to shake this earth to its core

"Does it ever stop hurting?"

No, I'm afraid not.

Broken frames of deteriorating people
Walk along the side of the road
Praying for someone to crash their car
Into the hollowness of their chest

And we breathe the same air as everyone else
Oxygen in,
Carbon dioxide out,
But we know it's different
Nothing we exhale will ever have a soft touch
On the earth

People walk,
We stomp

There's a seeking inside our souls
For something irrevocable
But people are known for their fleeting
As we are known for our sorrow

"Does it ever stop hurting?"

No,
The bleeding will never end.

MD May 2016

it's us, it always has been

she wishes so badly to grip you in the palm of her hand

but i know that you are something much larger
than what can fit into a fist
you are something that cannot be contained into
a physical form
you are endless
you are elusive

you don't need someone
who believes only in the things they can physically see

you deserve someone as fleeting as yourself
someone ever changing
only then will you know the feeling of love

MD May 2016

Blacking Out: A Poem For the Weightless

i woke up today thinking about almonds

on the bus to school i heard the crunching of their shell
breaking between the teeth of a chubby little girl
and i grasped at the corners of my binder
until my palms were dripping blood

my mouth watered to the thought of muffins in algebra

the teacher called on me and the kids laughed
when i didn't respond
but i'm sure they've never heard
such a shrill silence

i cried about pasta while my family ate dinner

my mom's eyes never looked so dull
as she asked me if it was her cooking i didn't like
and i cringed as she touched my shoulder
and told me i felt cold

i went to bed thinking about my weight

i peeled back the fat of my stomach
to see if there was any part of myself left
inside this hollow shell
i called a body

i blacked out tonight

i could hear my skull smash
against the white tiles of my bathroom floor
but you can't feel anything
when you're weightless

MD Apr 2016

Group Therapy Introductions

Hi, my name's Anorexia

That's not my birth name
But that's what people know me as -
The skeleton walking through the hallways
Emotionless eyes and burning wrists

Hi, my name's Anorexia

The girls ask me,
"How many calories did you eat this week?"
I rattle off the numbers
They think it's a game

Hi, my name's Anorexia

My favorite hobbies include:
Fainting
Heart palpitations
Hospital trips
And weekly blood drawings

Hi, my name's Anorexia

And im dying

MD Mar 2016

*******

i blamed you
for the large scar on my wrist
and the way i can't
hear that dumb song
without crying

i blamed you
for ruining my life
and causing me
to push everyone
away

because it was easier
blaming you for everything

and i couldn't admit to myself
that i was the one
breaking my own heart

and sometimes
i find myself awake at night
wondering if i am the reason
you believe you're a bad person

did i cause those gashes
on your thighs

i'm sorry

i still love you