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MD Jan 2015
i. We set up a tent in your backyard and spent the night with the bugs. You told me you would love me forever. It’s been three years and you can’t even look at me. It should hurt to look at you, but it doesn’t, it brings back that night in your tent. The look of your face with that little flashlight swinging back and forth was enough to know I loved you.
ii. The first time we hung out together, when we were officially a couple, you sent me a text when you were walking beside me. It asked if you could hold my hand. I wish I would’ve read that text before we finished our walk. I’d give anything to get that text again.

iii. Do you remember the few days we spent at my grandmother’s house? Do you remember making promises to me in the middle of the night? You were so drunk, but I thought being drunk made you more honest. I guess I was wrong.

iv. You started doing drugs after we broke up. I started doing drugs too. I think you take them to have fun, I take them to forget your face for an hour or two. I don’t know if you even remember the shape of my face.

v. Do you remember the night when you wanted to **** yourself? It was midnight and I still came over to make sure you were okay. I spent the night holding you. I would still do that again, but you found other people to take my place.

vi. My mom warned me about boys who smoke and sag their pants, but never about a girl with brown eyes and a withering soul.

vii. You never want to talk to me anymore. I shouldn’t want to talk to you either, you put me through hell, I’m still trying to put out the flames. I cry sometimes because when I talk about you to my friends, I say each word with love. When you talk to your friends about me, each word spews hate out of your mouth.

viii. I’m trying to forget about you, but you gave me so much to remember. I’m sorry I can’t find a way to forget about you. I know you wish I’d leave, maybe someday I will.
MD Dec 2014
I've always wanted to write a book
And fill the pages with my deepest secrets
Then spread it across the world
So I will no longer feel the weight of my past

I've always wanted to write a book
So I told myself to write every day
Even when I sat for hours
Forcing these worthless words out of my fingertips

I've always wanted to write a book
But I am not an author
If writing one ******* poem
Is so difficult to accomplish

I've always wanted to write a book
So I'll give myself time
And let my experiences jump
From my mind
To my hands
To the paper
Instead of forcing out these
ineffective rhymes

I've always wanted to write a book
So I will
MD Dec 2014
You were unraveling
The world had spun off its axis
And you felt yourself
Spiraling out of control

It's been almost 1,000 days
Since she left
And you still can't forget
Her fragile hands
Shaking with fear and guilt

You didn't mean to cause this mess
You simply didn't want
To be left
Alone

So now you're crying to the stars
Asking them to take you away
And you're screaming at the moon
Begging for forgiveness

Every bright day
Turns to a dark night
And the way she
Trembled next to you
Makes you wish
You never changed
MD Dec 2014
It is Wednesday night
There is a sheet of snow
Covering the shivering streets
And I'm sitting in bed
And I'm wondering how
The strongest of promises
Can be made broken
By a simple misunderstanding

It is Wednesday night
This time
Last Year
I was scribbling your name
On a piece of wrinkled paper
Titled "Christmas List"

And you were
Howling at the sky about
How hard it is to cope
With the fact that
You were strong
But the weight of the world
Was stronger
MD Dec 2014
I knew they didn't
Care about me
They only used me
For my body
But when it's late at night
And I'm drunk
With some guy on top of me
It felt like love

I gave myself to
Anyone
Who asked
I didn't love myself
I didn't really care

And I thought I
Was gone
I thought I
Was totally used up

But you walked
Into my life
And I didn't need
One night stands
With greasy 20 year old guys
And I didn't need
To fill my veins with drugs
To keep myself from
Remembering

You walked into my life
And you stayed
MD Dec 2014
Perhaps I wouldn't have been
So sad
If you didn't
Mark your territory
On my body
With gentle rose-scented kisses
If you didn't
Leave a trail of pixie dust
Every time you slept with someone
If you didn't
See so many stars
Perhaps I wouldn't have been so sad
If you didn't leave
MD Dec 2014
I'm so sorry
I didn't have
Another choice
Don't feel bad
It wasn't your fault
It was mine
I have no one to blame
For my actions
Besides myself

I know I was loved
It wasn't enough

I needed more help than I got
I couldn't fail 8th grade
Mom
You knew my life was
Coming to an end

I had no choice
I was alone
So alone

Every day got worse
And worse
I'm not a fighter
I was wasted money
And added stress
I was a burden

You'll thank me some day
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