imagine
showing someone your weak spot
the place where you're most vulnerable at
the one safe word in a sentence where all
the others have failed you several times
the flesh revealed when you took your top off
and know they've punched it
slammed it, dunked it
into the murky waters below
oh, why does it hurt so
realizing i should not have trust you at all

maybe
we talk about
falling in love with someone's eyes
because
their eyes are
the key to finding what their souls hide

today i switched my contact lenses.
the world became a couple of noises,
blurry lights and never fading shapes.
honestly, the world looks prettier
when you have to peel back the layers.
when you know just how ugly it already is
you really have to strain to witness
anything new

scribbling
feels like i'm dig, dig, digging
into my brain
which is stupid 'cause i'm writing
letters that have no name.

she was not pretty like a flower
not like the moon, the stars,
the planets, burn candles
in fact, she was one of the ugliest people
i had ever looked in the eye
because she laid bare
and gave you this stare
that meant so much to someone so lonely
like me, i could see
every pattern engraved on her soul
she was no one;
but she was definitely someone
to be recognized, by the sheer force
and willpower in her demeanor
no, she was not pretty
she was strong, the way iron is
when it is still withstanding
the hardships of weather and time
beaten down but holding on
for dear life; she was so, so strong
oh, i thought she was beautiful
beyond the grown over eyebrows
and all those other trivial features
as i stared, she winked in my direction
and commenced her transformation
changing into the very epitome of who i want to be
determined, lovable, dependable, free

pause; and wonder
what a city girl would feel like
if she ended up liking a girl
who isn't even here

oh daddy, i just wish you could've seen
the look you wore on your reddened face.
maybe your glasses were unclean,
but you looked like you'd been hit by our celestial mace

my girl, my girl, who are you?
all rebelious and grown and so young?
when have you mastered
this strengh, this courage?
i completely forgot how it's done.

oh daddy, don't worry
i still believe in myself.
improved version, no doubt,
but at least i have found
the courage to scream
and run through the fields,
without ever letting out
as much as a mouse when it squeals.


my girl, my girl, how foolish of you.
to believe in this world,
to think love will be true
is to chase a dream, maybe one, maybe two.
i am baffled to hear
what your mother made so clear
coming out from
the insides of you.

oh daddy, my daddy, i've promised i will
countless times, countless rhymes,
there's no more ink in my quill.
but still, i wonder, how far i must go
to discover sweet land promised to us eons ago.

my girl, my girl, i know you must go
but i'm terrified, so terrified
of letting you go, so lonely
so young, i'm scared beyond words
and your mother will surely be hurt.
nevertheless, i know you must go
so i ask one last thing before you do so:
when things are going down,
when you feel like you're going to drown
always remember where this place is, home.

vocal chords were built like
guitar strings for a reason:
for voices that will not be silenced
but will only be greatly amplified,
for people that won't be slaughtered,
for the son, the lover, for your daughter.
for the solidarity or the sorority
we must remain invincible, stronger.

so i reached out
               panting
and suddenly i was
              touching
the sky, in all its
          mystifying
glory, was
        iluminating
everything i had ever called mine was
                  falling
cascading onto the floor and almost
              crashing
into all my sentences, that were
              sleeping
on the floor, and
               waiting
to be finally awoken

screaming drills into your brain
leaving you frozen, it penetrates you.
but nothing you can actually do
will make you forget how you felt, yesterday night, paralyzed in the rain

i wanted to draw a drill
to represent how I was feeling;
but I managed to paint half a glass of milk
so i guess my mind had been drifting

in my headspace, the way words sound
on your friendly passionate tongue
darling, it makes them sound almost french
and i think that they shouldn't;
even though they do, and i know so too
i love how words sound when they are coming out of you

espigas de trigo en sus pestañas;

ella es
aquel campo
al que te gusta ir
para ver la
puesta de
sol

mental breakdown
rundown, snake town
trampled over by a truck.

i am no one
no less, no more
than the place where you remain stuck.

cigarettes will **** you
and pills will make you try
the ***** will make me miss you
and your pictures will make me cry

i finished writing;
took a sip of my drink.

it's gotten cold.
like your promises, all those words.
the i love yous that were forced,
all the lies that weren't untold.

i'm no stranger to them, at all;
by now, i expect you've been told
of my double facade,
my words to uphold,
and maintain in italic
but also in bold.
i scream, directly, at my lungs
and your toes
'cause i can't seem to look you in the eyes,
not anymore.

i want someone to love me
like i'm their own personal gravity
with all the physics i could create

but i guess i can just watch
from the atmosphere
whilst two others embrace

i salute the girl walking
side by side with all the other cars
she attempted to salute back
but she vanished, elecricity sparks

and i'm left alone walking
down the side of the road
mental flashbacks remained
in a box, at the bottom of the ocean,  fingers tied in a knot

she is gone
but i'm still here
i might miss her comforting presence
but i will see her  
(soon)
my personal literary cliché
are all the ones that I (myself) made

from this place of desolation
i salute all the girls walking
side by side with all the other cars
and i scream "congratulations"
because they're still walking
and i should know that that's enough

i just want to be able to feel okay again
-ten word story

different heartbeats
felt in different places.
resonate within
my eyes
my head
my wrists
my neck.

i have yet to discover what it means
and why i can't feel it
where it's supposed to be

your strongest finger is stroking
the chords on your guitar
but your voice is struggling to
keep up with the melodies
your agile fingers have no trouble creating,
so i burst into song:
the pressure relieved the second i opened my mouth.

how can two strangers complement each other so well
when i can't even look into your eyes properly?

  all that is left is feral passion.

first; tie a knot,
for the ones you've cut,
the ones that fell down,
the ones that you've lost.

second; build a bridge,
skinny mistake,
burn them all down,
without feeling a thing.

third; circle the bridge
in a long piece of rope,
pray that it doesn't snap
on account of the smoke.

fourth; under the bridge and pull,
now tighten it up, it's easy to do,
now your noose is as tight
as your shoe.

fifth, at last, the final step; tuck your shoelaces into your shoe,
'cause tripping ain't fun
when you fall and break your arm
or maybe your heart, or one, or two.

my sister is sick with the flu
and i feel sick without you
whoever "you" may be

my selfless facade is cracking
under the pressure of the pillars that crumbled all around me
the puzzle pieces that don't fit anymore,
together forever, seems stupid now.

as i struggle to pull back the blanket
so i don't reveal the tricks up my sleeve,
i stumble and the whole charade ends.
it was pretty while it lasted,
but now i must write about something else.

words mean everything to me
but in their essence, they are mistaken.
there is no loneliness in a suicide forest
because you're surrounded by corpses
                                        not unlike yours;
yet the very reason you have something in common with them
                         is because you felt alone.