over saturated flower trying to breath from the lungs in my chest
the birds suffocating in my skull are breaking their bones in an attempt to get free
boy in his home wants nothing but to leave
to breed in himself a heart that is as free as the bird in his sky

so when the waves ask with forceful brunt of physical emotion
when the skys shatter with a terential light and booming sound
and the grass grows with a grace like a dance reaching towards the light of life
ill see the station of my world blooming like a shroom from the strands of energy that penetrate everything

Jailed in an incantation of growth
i change and my life stays the same
no longer satisfied by my home
the dogs howling in the distance
the microwave going in the neighbors
the screaming kids running like beasts down the streets
my madness
the asylum that im stuck inside
my mind pulsing with a thought of tragedy
this tragedy where love dies and the work goes on
i need to leave
escape this place and be the bird
my feathers mimic the colors i like
green, red, blue, and gold
bay head taking in the sea
empty glass ******* air
the resonance of the empty like a hum from the moon
the darkness like the breaking untouched night
things are falling apart
and im staying the same
my skin like the coat of the rich in the winter
i wear it with pride
i wont ***** myself with the repetition
i wont breed flowers here
taking a chance on the life of another
similar
wanting
a complement in time
you and i are the same
still recognizing the shame in routine
lets leave
and watch the birds drag themselves in the dirt
like the bees scraping fragrance of flowers

unfinished thoughts on the row of the night
waving on the dream of unfinished thoughts
i've lived and forgotten
and suppressed
my life is complete and is what i am today
i am a bug going, gleaming, and learning all there is to learn

still is the look when nothing is found
im expecting a sunrise and clouds
rain is a privilege
ill let the wet fall on me
my shoulders dont get cold
they are golden and bare
ill look into their eyes
being, pure, naked
ill be free
like them ill be free
ill never get back to what i was
so ill embrace who i am now

Cause for alarm
Good heart pumping the head
Horizons nice view
I see you well
I loom
Scraped knees on the side streets
Shout of the balcony into the sea carried by a wave
Smoke eye burn
Smooth skin riddles with historic woes
Sunsets and dawn and the evening
Wave goodbye to the cool air

Teach me
im watching
teach me
im wide and willing
im still and waiting
im soft and maleable
i need teaching of how things are
of how things should be
of the light that bounces off and from all the trees
i see their light and it sees me
i feel its care for me strecthing past my imagination
streams of flight and concsious ripples carrying me towards the one
the once bright gleam of the sun peaking past the mountains
as we circle
what is will always be
whats here has always been
whats learned is constantly growing
until forgetting happens
well rise towards god
and finally forget
in one terential struggle of accurate compulsion
we want more
and in the process we forget what we have learned

Join the guard
Hide the guns
this is mine and mine to bargain
im still and holding the gaping, breaking, scarring bottle
of ***
dumb *** in the stomach of a dumb drunk
waking up dead
keeping down in the hole
water ****** through the limbs of trees
stars piercing the sky of immense black
light breaks through the night
dim lights of a fluorescent bulb
training souls of the fear that comes with the unknown
my soul is still and dark and wanting more
dark that will remain blind and pure
holy is the air and sky binding to our plain
my reality is as fake as my senses
im tortured in this time and still my mind is awake
i just want to sleep for the better
better things lay in the stale dreams that i have
recurring is the blight of disease
im awake and i have to see it
my people are hurting
and i
i have to stay awake to see them scream
these nightmares seem so real
as my love rips my heart
as my love hurts me
im still yours my mentor

ill grow with the grace of the winds
with the power of the waves
with the beauty of a flower
ill grow with the brutality of the hunt
with the ugliness of the ****
with the humiliation of abandonment
ill die like every other person in this world
ill grow like every other person in this world
ill live with a passion that burns in everything that drinks this air
ill wonder like a child
at the massive substance of being dissolved into this drink

when i die
i will decompose
and become
part of the soil
the plants
part of life again
my soul will dissolve
and once again become one
with the cloud of knowledge and awareness
that is this universe
that is this world
that is your life and my life
i will die
but i will become once again
part of that thing that is all and everything
i look forward to it
to giving what i have learned to it
to being part of god
or whatever the hell you want to call it

I sit in the dark
in the deep of night
with a cigarette
with a computer
with some music
wondering and reminiscing on myself
in the forest
in this magnificent forest in the clouds
on the mountains in some foreign country
and i think how
i am a life
i am a light
i am an intern of the world
just watching as it teaches me all it knows
slowly but surely
i will understand
maybe soon
maybe not in this life
but someday
i will finally understand

I am
I am like a butterfly on the beauty of the flower
I am
I am like the cigarette burning down on the lips of your pretty face
I am
l am like the passion of a brilliant man who will never be anything
like the waves as they break and sink into this sand
like the birds song sung in the depths of the woods never to be heard by us
like the sky shattering sound of thunder in the middle of the ocean
like the blood bled by the soldier fighting for his life
and i am sitting here near the earth
wanting nothing
needing nothing
i will wait and see what there is to come
seeing the sun
dreaming like every other animal on this earth
hearing the beat of the light in our minds
and creating with it a wholesome type of world
that is fitting to us and us alone
I am alone
and so are you
we islands will see from a distance the kinds of things each other can do
and be astounded by it
I am in wonder by you
by all of you
please keep on
you know what to do
so keep on doing it

nothing but a dream
taking
scarring
capturing
everything that i am
i will take and leave and drink
i will hold my state and continue
i will do
as i want to
i will continue
like the frequency of a horn
carrying through this air
until the sound finally dies
on the ears of an impretionable boy
ready to take on all this thing has to offer

Now that weve lost
could we finally move on
im fine with losing
as long as i can keep moving
keep living
keep *******
life is a playground
life is a school
life is a prison
and i will take it how i will
i will use it
i will play with it
i will conquer it
and do with it how i see fit
as long as im still enjoying myself
then there is a reason to keep going

Cancer in my heart
as i walk through the hollow days
turning to your voice
thinking something will come
nothing but a disappointment coming
strange how the threats arise from all ends
killing and flaming in all sense
im dead in my heart
i feel as though i need to **** myself
in a way that will destroy the parts i have grown with
this means nothing
i have no hope in my past
but my future is wide and gaping
and i will do with it as i will

i cant stop to say hello with a mirrored glow reflecting in your eyes
i need to foget those things that make my memorys painfully harsh
lm new and will move like i am
born with a collection of who i was
but i dont know who i am
i was a boy strength no part hope just filling me

Just the smell of the summer
i can hear with that sense
i can see with that sense
i can taste with that sense
i can feel with that sense
the crazy, wild, wound feeling of years
can unwind
release
and fall
but it falls back on top of me
and fills back in through my mouth
so i can get back to work

What looks?
if i were blind
i could feel
my instincts are truth
and to me
you will be to
i could feel truth with the sensitivity of a flower
cause i am a flower
no eyes
no ears
no nose
no skin
no mouth
no teeth
no nails
no feet
just truth for all its magnetic wonder
the majesty of god is me
it feels the truth pouring from you
and everything around

Tracks delayed as i hesitate to step into the snow
my feet are cold and so is my blood
i'm stuck an ashamed of what i was
i'm anxious of who ill become
maybe the scheme will die soon
god i hope you'll see the fake
god i hope you'll see the sea
head towards it
walk in
never come out
watch the water move like air
as the air in you becomes old
like you'll do
like we all do

Don't be afraid
the love i feel is real
and will remain real as long as my sweet dream continues
here in the world i am constantly dreaming
maybe i'm already dead

hard sky's pay me no mind
learned seas pay me no mind
angel birds pay me no mind
cause i am nothing
nothing is and nothing will be
tortured in our scripted dramas
i don't want to be here
i don't want this body
i don't want this heart
i want to fly
like the bird i used to be
and the bird i will again become
likes the waves as they break on our romantic beach's
like the plants as they grow in this hardened earth
like the bees as they fly graceful and free
from a heart that doesn't want and constantly wants everything
every line like a play
every day gets less painful
i don't want it to be so
you and our life has hardened me
becoming more numb to feeling and memory
the earth will again beckon me
i will be obliged
i will give myself to my mother
and die
and be torn
and shred to soil
this is life and i'm happy

Holidays on a broken sea
decayed boat rocking on churning waves
sun barley breaking through the sky
lives dying far away and far beneath
love flying for now and fleeing later
people and things come together in mutual disgrace
i say goodbye to a horizon
seeing for the first time like a child
torn from the far forgotten planks of memory
i see now what is and what always will be
my light will once again become one
one with a holy eye that sees all and learns nothing
because all is known already
on this tundra like universe
ready to die
ready to be born
always waiting
seeming unlike any other
it is just like any other
cause its everyone and everything

ill talk to you
and see
that my interaction
with you
its not me
but when im on my own
when im lonesome
when im tired
when im thinking of someone
that is me
and that is what i need to keep
i will continue this
this piece that i carry when im alone
when i write
when i sing
when i play
its what i do
and ill keep on doing it
so please
i dont need distractions
but it is nice
when i can forget who i am
sometimes

once again
i can feel me
brought back by sound
sight
smell
thoughts
that have returned me to my soul
my awareness
of me
and everything else
that's near
i feel good now
i can forget what had been done
and sleep

its so stupid
why do i care
about what you do
or how i react
its how i should react
i don't care
what you do
to me
or how you live
all that matters
is what i do
and how i live
so i don't care
about the stupid things you do

give to me
all you have
you'll belong to me
and ill give to you
all i have
and ill belong to you
and its nice
when we can live
with someone to belong to
i don't have you
only parts
and you don't have me
only parts
wherever we may be
well have each other in mind
until that piece of us together dies
and it will
but its memory will be there
in you
and in me

dragging
on me
on that cigarette
i hope your well
wherever you are
whoever you may be with
i hope your happy
sitting
standing
walking
running
dancing
carefree of us
and everything
that has or may happen

take me
talk to me
i know
the connection will die
but now
i feel light
for all its worth
its all that matters now

tattered dream
split
far from graceful
shreds of me
pieces of what i had
what i have
what i need
what i want
these things i dream of
are me
they show me
what is and always will be
just me
my light
love
soul is a word
that doesn't come close to explaining it

measures taken to keep the peace
within the mind
the head is nothing but  a shell
filtering through memories
but mainly experience
its what were here for
to take that experience with us
to join with something bigger
god
maybe
but more likely a cloud of awareness
that encompasses everything
our soul is an awareness
and the world keeps us preoccupied
with great things
but now
we keep ourselves preoccupied
with other people
with wretches
with stars
the potential comes from the earth
and our potential is seized
by focusing on these false idols
these other people

the strength people have
its always there
but unrealized to the point
of suicide
******
and any atrocity we can commit
there is no god
just love
everything loves you
especially some people
and the plants
the water
the air
the rocks
the earth
nothing doesn't love
except some things
especially some people
but we belong here
we just need to realize what we need to do

got to go to work
got to have a job
got to have a house
got to have a car
got to have kids
got to have a dog
got to have land
got to have clean shirt
got to have nice shoes
got to have a respectable haircut
got to have a shave
got to have food on the table
got to be ready
for what?
got to be happy
but how?
what have you gained?
what have you accomplished?
what have you realized?
what have you learned?

I don't care
who you are
all i need
is your heart
tickling my own
bringing me back home
cause i'm always at home
with you

I fell asleep
like a beast in the grass
free from the eyes
of god in his wrath
there's a nurtured presence in the air
breathed out by the trees here
i never feel safe when i speak
but always when i listen

which peices of me are real
carry weight
and feel things for what they are
the battles we face
are real
and should be taken seriously
everyday
we can become more or less
of the thing we are
i am god
to me

wisdom
is an echo in the backgound
parting and combining
flames and flow
which make up all and everything
light
our  light
is the only thing
we can give
to anything
i just want to give you
the love that i have found
that energy that is everything

I will become you
in a holy type of death
which destroys what my body was
and allows me to become the things
that make up you.

the flowers stare
on the mountainside
my vision destroyed by the fog
im in a cloud
and the dead trees
i see nothing
they breed new life in this ground
the flames react
taking form
and making dust
containing everything that has been here
and everything that will be here
watch the world burn to new ground
watching it burn proud and hastily
this flame eats and turns
to a fabric flowing in the breeze
i am a fabric
or a snake
waiting to find my home
where i will burn
and become
once again
the air and the ground

places i need
are not here anyway
just seeing whats there
and leaving
my stare fixed on the moon
the grass is felt beneath me
and a heartbeat radiating
from this thing ive come from
makes the warmth coming from me
mingle and harmonize
with the warmth of everything

my time
spent like wind or a river flowing
going to something new
growing wings
becoming

I used to be a bird
I can still feel the wings
Constantly flapping inside my head

Oh how i want to leave
This place and all these things
My life and my body

open mouths
ready to take you in

they grow from the ground
and theyre so destructive

Drunk
doesn't do much for me
still
dulls the value of my head
just enough
to let
some
god dam
clarity through

It not their fault
the lonesome lovers

just to far apart
to really
enjoy
each other

There is a swamp in your heart,
Saturated and stagnate,
Who would have you,
I would,
Beside me laid still by our killer,
The moss takes over,
And the moss takes us in,
Invites us to join the floor of this forest,
No funerals,
No one finds the bodies left in the woods.

Excessive threats lead to fear of death
i know your scared but what do you want me to do
their bigger than you
and you can put me out with swing and shout

call the cops i know their ready for this
why would they care unless they can get a kiss from a harem
who is attractive enough
to save you from the big tough.

well live like dogs
running through empty neighborhoods
reclaimed by the land
the we fought off for so long
it cant help but grow
you don't know it though
your world in the screen
your minds melded with the gears

I was sleeping all the time
every day and every night
i slept every day that followed
that day i died

were just snakes who've already died
living in a single moment,
no time.
experiencing everything at once.
this is how life is lived right above.

When did poetry become a spectacle
no longer something personal and beautiful
but something to prove to the society
that pushed you out of the inner rings
i know they ****
but don't do this for them
poetry is meant for you
to have fun with
to expel all that creative energy
so ***** em
i write for you and me