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It's hard to write poetry
When I have no motivation to do so
I'm just looking for inspiration
Somewhere
Anywhere
But I can't find it in me
So maybe you could help me
If you would talk to me
'Cause right now
I'm having a one sided conversation
And it's not going well
Because my words to me
Demotivate me
So would you please join this conversation
With me
Maybe I could be happy
But I've gotten sidetracked
With envy
And displease
Sometimes looking for the words to describe me
Sometimes trying to find me
Using sad music and poetry
Staring at the mirror
Long enough to find every flaw that bugs me
Getting in to arguments just to see if I can win
Then the begging comes in
'Cause I still want them to be my friend
I'm sorry but it hurt me
Every conversation you cut me off in
But don't worry I'm used to it
That happens to me with friend or not friend
But I know you care about me
You do right?
Did these words come out right?
Did it somehow turn into an apology?
Because I am sorry
But for what?
Maybe for always being wrong
Because someone once said that I always am
I'm wrong
It's true that I am
So here's the poem I tried so hard to write
And I sincerely apologize for it
Because these words might eat you
Like they ate at me  
Gripping unto something
Maybe the guilt inside me
And as it comes flowing out it's making me shaky
Hitting my nerves
On the way to escape me
Because even it wishes to leave me
So I'll beg once more
Please will you save me
P.S
Maybe we need to see each other bleed again
In order to regain the awe we once held for one another.
I think we need a reminder.

You've embraced me after seeing my tears
And yet now you have no problem igniting them
Releasing them from the side of me you once feared
Have you forgotten the darkness I kept hidden?
This is your reminder.

In case you missed the anger I tried not to unleash,
I'll let it out from its cage to give you a small kiss.
This is your reminder.

The first time I met you I was filled with nothing but hate,
I don't know how I came to love you.
Maybe I need a reminder.

                 *-lf-
© Leelan Farhan
    July 21 2013
it might've meant more
if any of the words we used
had actually been ours
though I guess that explains
why when you left
and I looked to see if my heart was okay
there was just an empty space
the veins ******* in MLA-formatted knots
like citations
for all your stolen speeches
austen, jane. pride and prejudice. new york: modern library, 1995. print.
 Jul 2013 Mauri Pollard
Ashlee
Lost in the Stars

Star lit skies light the night,
and darkness loves with arms open wide.
Creatures hold still and all is quiet.
Hush little babe; please don’t fight.
She lies in the night, high up in the stars.
She may look it, but she isn’t that far.
Look deep within, within that broken heart;
see her there, there from the start.
Loved you she did, and loved you she will;
just as the future is, time with tell.
Things may be hard, more than once I fell.
Nothing is easy ***, even looks can ****.
The sun can shine brighter than darkness and pain.
The stars are just as beautiful, it’s all the same.
Listen to the wind, it speaks your name.
Love falls down to you like autumn, love bares no shame.
She taught her children to do well and to stand
tall, be humble and for men to be a man.
Never forget she lives in the hearts and in the land,
forever she will be in the night and trembling hands.

She gave a love that was everlasting.
She gave a heart to hold you close.
She gave you her life so you could stay.
She died loving you with all her soul.
She died lost in the stars.
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