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 Aug 2013 MattyPancakes
Shiloh
What am I missing?

Why do I dream
about kissing
your **** face?

Out of sight,
front and center in the mind
somehow sideways wishing
I had a way to turn back time

What possibly connects us?

How can there be any way
to fill in the dusty cracks
that divided us?

You were my best friend
But what is there now?

What am I wanting?
How do I stop?
 Jul 2013 MattyPancakes
Shiloh
Fingers are shaking
Lips are bit
I stare at my feet barely registering
the fact that anything else is happening
waiting is always the worst part.

Trying to convince my mind
that everything will be just fine
completely on the verge
of being gone.

Preparing myself
in every way
besides actually being prepared
for things
that happen
in life.

Finally the light shines down on me
I smooth out my shirt
take those first few steps
take a deep breath...

At that moment
when I come around to thinking
I can do this, it's not so bad...

I figure out
I didn't practice my lines
I don't even know what show I'm
supposed to be in.

These people expect something
There they wait, quiet, staring
some start laughing at my silence
because everyone should know what they are doing.
 Jul 2013 MattyPancakes
Cassie
I wish I still believed that you were the best
I wish that we still walked to the elementary school playground
Where we would lay tongue in mouth for hours or
Make our way past the brook in the woods
Strip off our sticky clothes on top of your Marlboro sleeping bag
And become one beneath the canopy of green leaves
Red elbows and knees, flushed cheeks
You'd light my cigarette after and we'd sit by the stream
I wish that we would walk out from those woods
And see a little chipmunk
He would put his two paws on my hands, **** his head and look into my eyes
He'd bite you when you tried, mountain man
And I'd laugh my *** off again
I wish that you would walk me to school every day you had off
And make the other girls jealous
When you'd kiss me goodbye and say "I love you. See you after."
I wish that I felt the way I did for you towards then, now
I want all of these things, just no longer from you
I had zero warning before this change in view
It disgusts me
I need to need you
Otherwise
Who the hell am I?
it might've meant more
if any of the words we used
had actually been ours
though I guess that explains
why when you left
and I looked to see if my heart was okay
there was just an empty space
the veins ******* in MLA-formatted knots
like citations
for all your stolen speeches
austen, jane. pride and prejudice. new york: modern library, 1995. print.

— The End —