I’m afraid of thunder
I don’t know why.
Long hours as a child
Under my blanket with muffled cries.
Alone.

I’m afraid of thunder.
I like the sound,
I like the way it reverberates throughout the sky.
I like the way it calls for adventure,
For a battle,
For romance,
For horror,
I like the way it means excitement.

I’m afraid of thunder.
Something about the boom.
Something about the crackle.
Something about it that shakes my heart
And rattles my bones.

I’m afraid of thunder.
I like the inspiration that comes trotting up alongside it.
Something about the sound.
I’m afraid of the ominous possibilities that come with it.

Thunder,
It is a dangerous but beautiful sound.

if you can smile without remembering something wrong that happened to you
i want to be with you
forever
take me where you learned how
show me the diagrams
the maps
the blueprints
the poems that got you
where you are today
if you can smile without remembering something wrong that happened to you
hold me.
you are
the only one
i want
if you can ask god to forgive you and be fine
take me
with you
i want to be
where you are

i like to start off some conversations with a good old fashioned
"*******"

i feel it levels the playing field
puts us on
the same track
we can now converse without the usual presupposed notion that i actually like you
or you me
see?
we are now able
to talk about the ****** new york weather
and what we didn't do over the summer
with ease

say "*******" first,
please

you tried to say that i was pretty
and i said i agreed with you
and i wasn't trying to be stuck up
i didn't care if you thought i was pretty
or not
i like me
and that's all that matters
to me
then you said
that sometimes you don't know if im being honest
or if im just giving you  
some "spiel"...
...i almost started kicking chairs over
right then
i don't have a ******* spiel
you ******* **** ******
you get lilred undiluted
115% of the time
then you asked me
if i came with a warning label
and i said
like **** i do
"harmful if swallowed"
"handle with care"
then you tried to say something nice
about my eyes
i told you to go to hell

god, i'm good with boys

I have never seen someone so broken
until I looked in the mirror tonight.
After spending an hour driving
a hundred miles per hour in my car.
Up and down the free ways,
crying so hard, I couldn't even see.
I hate the way you make me,
storming out of the house,
calling me every name in the book.
Grabbing your keys,
car scraping across the pavement as you drive off.
Are you crazy??
You could have killed someone,
or gotten killed yourself.
I could have been killed..

I wanted to be

I spent the whole time fantasizing
about slamming my car into the guard rail.
Or blowing a red light.
I fantasized about you sobering up,
and realizing that you're the one that killed me.
I wanted you to feel pain.
Pain like you've caused me.
Because you died.
About a year ago.
I don't even know who you are anymore.
All I know,
is that you cause me pain.

Once upon a time
I took the heart out of my chest.
I put it in a wooden box
Where it would lay to rest.
I buried down in the earth,
as far as I could dig.
X didn't even mark the spot
so I could always keep it hid.
It wasn't really strangers
who I didn't want to find.
I was more worried about myself
and the pictures in my mind.

I have been walking in this world
for a million years it seems.
Not filled with blood, or love, or trust,
or a heart that used to beat.
I spend most of my time crying,
tsunami waves of tears.
I gladly walk into the ocean,
because I have nothing to fear.
And even as the years passed,
and I searched for my chest,
I couldn't remember where I'd placed it,
finally laying it to rest.

It can be quite frustrating,
if I think I may come to love.
But I quietly remind myself
of all the things you'd done.
I wish to have my heart back,
before I'd known your name.
But instead it's good and buried,
and it's better off that way.