causing percussive rumpus
to vibrate like jelly

Me experienced quite disruptive sleep
(quite early in the morning
of November 10th 2022 -
no shut eye could I keep),
hence though exhausted, I share
childlike trait of mine spouse
insufferable playfulness finds me
ready to collapse in a heap.

Missus as inquisitor a worse
fate than death expounded courtesy
the following cheeky verse
about bearing derrière perverse
antic for wife to adopt role of nurse
Ratched she of (One flew over
the cuckoo's nest fame)
the missus every smack
upon me posterior I did curse,
thus poem not for the faint of heart
some or all of material you may find averse.

Meanwhile good n plenty vibrations resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
beating, drumming, flagellating
paddling, and whipping gluteus maximus
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed tubular *****
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse
ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking

undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, beating
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
formerly cute palm pilot *****,

now subjected courtesy
cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest

against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
me lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee spouse ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything

(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
feels comfortably numb.

Thee aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arise, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye

lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom

(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily
spindled, mutilated, lacerated,
fondled and bruised.

being analogous to a
limp biscuit viz
wussy wonky *****,
yet back in the day
rolling in hay worm
may at large cavorted
frolicked, and idealized
as a warm fuzzy.

Though aforementioned title
slightly risqué and silly,
yours truly dwells in Schwenksville,
approximately an hour drive
northwest from Philly,
a geographic enclave flush with
seeds of life and White Lily
hometown of mine reminiscent
of Lake Woebegone
similarly verdant and hilly.

Today I bubble with gumption and glee
riding a crest of carefree euphoria prithee
within Netherlands home to Zuiderzee.

Now yours truly lets thoughts unspool
as they popup like mushrooms
after a soaking rain
and flash across consciousness
hoping to hammer somewhat
comprehensible poetic product
wrought courtesy tool
of me noggin
stream of consciousness school
meanders and follows no particular rule.

Despite being rescued
from blimey and ******
ten thousand cannibals yippee,
where before escaping xi
shark infested cyber sea,
I nearly fell prey to piranhas we
dulling their way think valley
girls enlisting themselves
to be worshipped
as omnipotent trustee
trumpeting themselves
as shaykhah of chic re:

to do bidding of commoners
heavily guarding, ousting,
and thwarting stiff contenders
for commodification, commiseration,
commercialization, communication
and glory of riches q.e.d.,
quod erat demonstrandum
selling one soul to the devil
what a pity

exploitation, juxtaposition, opposition
temptation teasing proletariat offeree,
who seductively utter née
all the while vicarious thrilling
analogous to shady subterfuges
within dark wide web
bloodhounds (created courtesy
artificial intelligence) ripping asunder
supposedly airtight code,

while proficient hackers punching
virtual holes at Norton and McAfee
and other logistics wizards to protect data
laugh demonically, hysterically,
maniacally, sadistically, and zestfully
at those payees party as licensee
guardians of regal materialistic realm
do as I saith - speaketh bourgeoisie.

Particularly, when voicing and/or
writing bon mots doth betake
chuckling clownlike me
rumbled stilled skin,
and e'en rouses
this mummified corpse
(asleep for bajillion years)
among sleepers awake,
where mine inside belly
doth pleasantly ache

jollity the best medicine
most thus spoke Zarathustra,
asper nonpareil persona
American radio broadcaster
Doctor Demento would attest,
one need not buy,
nor spend real or "FAKE"
money, yet brilliant come
back (as averred by
unnamed modest chap)
sweeter than New York cheesecake

moist definitely more
delectable than grubstake
jamming gobstopper with
yodels, ring dings,
or mouth size edible
chocolate candied drake,
a propensity for parrying
thrusts humorously recently
adopted, though occasionally
embarrass self,

and perhaps I might
momentarily even forsake
such wordplay, but
honing humorous turns
of phrases come roaring
back to partake, and
appease simple pleasure
inexplicably to satiate
passion with English
Language and slake

unquenchable thirst
experiencing euphoria,
vis a vis yours truly
melding, jump/kick starting,
forging, distilling
reasonable rhyme
(albeit short lived) giddy
as if I won sweepstake
this newfound affinity
with whittling words

manifested during opaque
throes of fatherhood,
when ceaseless parental
demands sought fast break
from learning to
accommodate lest stressful
overwhelming anguish
found me undertake
king oft times frazzled state,
where among great

anonymous dead poets
society, posthumous renown
would be small consolation
for widowed missus,
whose then two little girls,
(now grown to womanhood)
would inconsolably shake
for ever and anon drowning
their sweet sorrows,
where profuse tears
engender lachrymose lake.

(alternately titled: lion eyes hide sharp claws
unless made irate, then yours truly
bares his sharp talons
on all of mine faux pas).

Aye attest tubby reincarnated
from one male Russian Blue
species Felis silvestris catus
named Morris if that gives a clue,
and during my fuzzy past
hence, asthma “Cats Cradle”
segued into kitten hood
fur hum lee established

type cats as (tin pan) alley cat,
a rather litter boxed gritty debut
t'wood become (later in life) tabby
quick as greased lightning
snatching in the air,
when tender vittles flew,
technically got fired (acquiring
appropriate pet nicknames)

as fame (like a bushy cat tail) grew
viz perfect back up crooner
for “Cat Stevens”,
or lead singer for
the "Stray Cats" oddly
coupled, featured, and
incorporated with the guru
Horton Hears A Hoo,

yes him Elephant resembling
a humungous mandrake
from the, "Animals,"
whose body heat could
easily melt an igloo,
whereby Eskimos accepted charity from
Korean philanthropists named Joo
(founders of Palaces for Pachyderms),

these lumbering creatures possessed
an exemplary photographic memory
(rivaling that of the amazing
deceased idiot savant
Kim Peek) knew
practically every detail
incorporating trunk hated lines
(and could track missing lynx),

when felines shared common ancestor
but,...such petty files would most likely boar
and go way off course, and hence
I will shy away being extempore
favoring a deliberate fore
ray padding around basically ignore
ring any rhyme or reason
suddenly ending this persiflage,
and thence to thee bon jour.

"Sic semper evello mortem tyrannis"
translation = thus always I
bring death to tyrants.”

Above the fray of twittering,
squabbling, and madding crowds,
an arrogantly belligerent creature deified,
yet vilified gauche, haughty lumpenproletariat
decreeing blind, deaf and dumb obeisance,
whereby upon forced Sacrificial Altar
erected golden Olympian fleeced perch,
(he acquired, effected, indoctrinated
vis-à-vis bloodless coup d'etat)
absolute dictatorship jump/
kick starting  veneration,
albeit forced subservience

buzzfeeding, fostering (long)
totalitarian reign crafting ship of state  
into figurative unwieldy beastly Leviathan
through present Century21
incorporating deterministic, fascistic,
masochistic, narcissistic, opportunistic,
and shamanistic trumpeting
holier than though malevolent fiery bombast
fulminating laws, exuding self worth
hortatory exclamations decreeing
(by fiat, that no commoner
lest they want an Escort into Crossover realm

he/she cannot afford to Dodge commands,
especially if and when Porsche
comes to shove Fiats promulgated)
absolute valued flat out sharp devotion
pledging (née requiring) pilgrimages,
where his birthplace sanctified
as cultural heritage site,
(a humble abode in backwater of Queens)
dammed, deemed, and donned
for populace to worship
and pay requisite penance de rigueur
in order to avoid premature death;

said consecration viz complex edifice
analogous to Taj Mahal
self declared god enshrined provenance,
where pathway paved with gold
courtesy self declared demigod;
(one blimey, flimsy, nasty
shortish and brutal Attila the *** wannabe),
who served daily dollop of dregs
in ***** deeds done dirt cheap demitasse
admiring, fawning, kowtowing,
primping, et cetera himself,
i.e. a Beatle browed, bobble headed

mop top orange hirsute Talking Head
(though likeness of his trademark
coiffed haired countenance
plastered across every square inch)
detested, and feared unto Caesar,
whose reflection shone thru
and across wall to wall hall
of mountain king mirrors;
meanwhile Blood, Sweat And Tears
for Fears Beastie Beach Boys
and Goo Goo Dolls with ******* aplenty
painstakingly enslaved away

raspily, tentatively verily warbling words,
(while simultaneously severely afflicted
with heebie-jeebies) sung,
(albeit barely audible) Stayin' Alive
amidst noise of torture chamber
smells of burning flesh  
as evidenced by branded, pierced,
snd tattooed rebellious insubordinates
invariably found culpable regarding lèse-majesté,
thus futilely skittering helter skelter
from his majesty paw sized hands
adorned with precious jewels monogrammed

with initials of  Frederick Christ Trump Sr
within whose grotto the heir
found solace, perserverence, and divine guidance
inspiring blistering, glorifying hymns
punishing, and withering edicts
totally tubular proclamations pronouncing
matter of fact, unquestioned imposed fealty
larger than life persona, endowed
crowned, and accorded self  supremacy,
where even divine
cosmic consciousness bows
and trembles acquiescing

toward ornery primate,
whose self crafted patriarchal
mandates imposed unquestioned vows,
where punishment meted out if questioning
of authority appeared to furrow brows
allowing, enabling and providing
totalitarian usurper re: free will ordains wows
be uttered and furor
squelched via militaristic might,
whenever fuhrer didst rouse
the public to pay homage

(even if coerced, forced, and induced)
toward faux courtly house
of seized role of Caesar Augustus
enforcing abrogation,
whence sun t'will
dance and rise to douse
the chill from the dawn
early morn, and mother earth
will be delegated to serve
world wide wagstaff slow caucus
as surrogate spouse, parent, big brother.

Dictatorial modus operandi foisted
upon ******* up public enemy re:
guarding Visigothic, oligopolistic,
hedonistic, and cannibalistic
adopted heir of vested gentry
meted staked, and yoked
fancyfeast sovereignty
intolerant per crowd-sourced
crowing diehard fulminations
denouncing trick air re:
qua hoodwinked treaty
against opprobrious, serious
reign of terror breed

ding steely dang LifeLock
self proclaimed deity
czarist gnome *****
to be (habeas corpus) writ
since this anonymous
cloaked drafted ensign gainsays nothing
as one among populous proletariat
bound and gagged if I don't claim
tyranny rigged by bourgeoisie
and get hung drawn and quartered
as a dire warning damning social compact
left to rot in hell
as a capital one threatening misfit.

Postscript:

I started with the premise
and idea of constituting
the cult of personality worship,
but found thoughts trotting off
in another direction,
and thus felt obliged
to saddle and pony up to thine
predominant sad dulled end
product te deum!

Just a garden variety generic wordsmith
teasing out reasonable rhyme courtesy ploy;
self plagiarizing boot juiced barely abiding
by ruff dogma, with enigmatic joie
de vivre charisma,
which oft times witnessed
gentle green giant gentile goy
essentially me being a decoy
occasionally rocketing, outsourcing,
kickstarting, feigning
tubby an Anchorite, ahoy!

Life in the K9 corps
ain't so doggone ease zee
absolutely daunting, hence
lemme share with ye
haunting, and unnerving, the whee
kid nasty, short, and brutish
ways, and truth be told,
I would rather be outwardly
hidebound, gagged, and flagellated
(threatened tubby slowly

strangled to death by bonafide vee
numb muss snakes, yours truly
screaming ****** ******,
viper esse scent chilly resembling
caduceus), and/or re:
peat head lee bitten
(till death do us part)
by vampire (weekend) bats pre
dominant lee inhabiting
spooky attic, nee

above cattle crying
abattoir, bovines bull heave -
meeting grisly demise, where prowling
hoodlums - vicious murderous electric
kool aid acid tested gang
infesting mean streets -
viz hit head hay be us corpse lee
ving shot up desolation
(think skidrow) role much
more blood curdling, key
ping adrenaline heart pounding,

and sweat pouring directive hee
ping helplessness 'specially,
when this gree
gear re: us macho foo fighter,
accompanied by my grateful
dead cutting crew - on free
key Friday the 13th
assigned directive to man
the most crime ridden, and be
dev filled violent bailiwick,
donning head to toe
bulletproof suit vests.

Nevertheless, yours truly fraught with
horrendously extreme
difficulty, and more
challenging, enduring, and grueling
than surviving training
undertaking associated
with elite military clique,
and attendant rightfully
earned linkedin prestige
joining: Raiders of United
States Marine Corp,
Green Berets United States Army
Special Forces, or Navy Seals.

Often these days
(early May 2021)
the following genuine sentiment
Matthew Scott Harris
doth wish to share one son,
cuz seventeen years after mother succumbed
courtesy of terminal illness.

I still reckon how yours truly
shrugged off proffering
tender loving care
when grim reaper in close proximity
to mama supine and nearly lifeless
within whose womb,
this sole son born,
thus shouldered with self scorn.

He clearly recounts
as if her death occurred yesterday...,
(when all mine troubles
moost definitely not far away)
last remaining grains sands of time.

Imagine an hourglass
where fine granules
trickle from one to another
(upper to lower) bulbed chamber
just prior when coroner decrees death,
yet an opportunity prevailed

wherein said self (me) chose
NOT to stand vigil at deathbed
of she begat
an older and younger daughter
(mine sibling sisters).

Last breath(s) expelled while mama
tethered to machines,
(thwarting heroic measures)
one or more helped diminish
agonizing, depressing, and writhing
pain and discomfort
racked once fitness
and health conscious
industrious, tenacious, and vivacious body,

which malignant terminal illness
(no joke) riddled a former robust
Arthur Murray ballroom dance instructor
(think approximately seventy years past),
whose flirtatious demeanor
instantaneously caught fancy of handsome
twenty something papa at his prime.

Before rigor mortis quickly
stole precious lifeblood, and
final minutes ticked away until
countdown to... realm of absent consciousness
scant moments before subtle transition
slipped our beloved mother into deadzone...,
neither final adieu, caress, grief...,
nor poem written...
never communicated to deceased,

not an iota of sorrowful lament
bequeathed, prevailed, relinquished...
over lifeless body (mommy dearest)
relegated limp suddenly cold stone body,
where morgue aged corpse
kept in cold storage
(despite aversion to frigid air
exhibited by mama)
preparatory to cremation process.

Rather... suppressed resentment
exhibited itself at 1148 Greentree Lane
(partial listed abode -
Matthew Scott Harris,
plus his family resided)
by mister recalcitrant,
felt ambivalent carte blanche blasé affection

regarding once young bride,
(who smothered cingular heir insync
with dada i.e. Boyce Brandon Harris),
cuz he (yours truly overstayed
livingsocial under same roof as parents,
which happenstance situated at 324 Level Road.

Both thee aforementioned
supposed biological guardians
railed, screamed, tormented (albeit verbally)
yours truly, upon mine eighteenth birthday,
when great expectations greatly exacerbating

emotionally hard times,
which ill suited poet de jure
experienced, brickbats rained
down upon these
(considerably mooch younger) lovely bones
whose anger (mine) smoldered

linkedin to constant epithets of expletives
out the mouths of those who begat me,
subsequently their livid with rage
tsunami festered within every
holy (Molly Q. L.) molecule

within mine atomized corporeal being
manifesting itself as deprivation
to embrace dear mama
attended at hospital with
both non twisted sisters;
one hailed from Woodbury, New Jersey

and the younger staked out
modest home within Bend, Oregon,
meanwhile thee grim reaper
did patiently scythe soon
heading back to his old curiosity shop,
a rather bleak house housing our mutual friend,
I now conclude.

The word Gesundheit was first used in English in 1914. It became popular in the United States due to the many German immigrants who moved there. Many Americans may not be aware that Gesundheit is a German word, or even what it means.

Contrary ro popular belief, I experience sneezing fits
every now and again (like right nah... nah... mah now,
but cannot attribute sternutation linkedin to any known allergens).

An infinitesimal slight speck tickled nostril follicle – activated
via an itty bitty, nitty gritty dirt band noah bigger than a mole
luck yule set in motion a chain reaction, whence mine sensitive
proboscis honker (a wheeze hilly little bridged fine tuned pug
nose aroma sensor), got unexpectedly in gauged (in holy matt
trim mo’ knee) to achew, and eschew pledging troth (in favor
of hanky-panky) found this chap feeling phlegmatic despite
an endless strings of faux allergic emanations, which upon
subsiding left me throat rather raspy and voice some octaves
deeper akin to a coterie of celebrated jumping frogs from
Calaveras County, California took residence and took leave
sans stranglehold upon math rote upon awakening from a
hard day’s journey into night across the outer limits of thine
twilight zone resurrected during slumber, yet upon awake
kin ning felt much refreshed and hungry enough to eat a horse
– nee – make that forced ***** – gulped down within a hoof
n hour and now recount how back in the day when zooming
thru the Lilies of the Valley (whooshing mass elf tubby an aero
plane) frequent bouts with uber twittering snapchatting sinus
attacks besieged crinkled, doppelganger expeller for germs
hunting with his clean X instantaneously for nasal passages
to enter surreptitiously the fecund effluvia dripping, oozing,
and  seeping clear liquid as wintry cold air looses droplets
from out a near frozen nose, which bloke knows not why
frigid blast stimulates a gallimaufry of sniffling to spurt into
a volume of one after another gesundheit snorting trumpeting
unwittingly confusing Canadian geese, who misconstrue the
honking from midway centered ****** *****, which angry
birds in tandem with flock of Seagulls quite perturbed to
espy one curmudgeon chap clapping hands over (what feels
like a smashed face) in an effort to stifle subsequent gummy
emissions, which residue expectorated with heaven ***.
This thick mucous essentially the defense mechanism of
a healthy body electric to restore biz zee nose as usual,
which for this mild mannered liberal leitmotif from the
chronicle of one matted nattering nabob of nativity attests
congested mob functioning like a well lubricated machine,
et for the life of me, nary a handy dandy blues clues evident
as per, how the human entity empowered to steamroll over
any reasonably annoying bugaboo. Ah, now if only a similar
innate defense mechanism arose within the mental health,
that would be a supreme testament to thine atheistic exist
ants of miracles minus the attendant pharmacopeia of this,
that or some other drug to aright skewered psyche (of this
contemplative, emotive and intuitive literate outlier),
whose fifty plus eight shades of gray matter went awry
and skewed toward tipping point (to cope with ordinary
cares and concerns of an uncertain whirled wide web)
found the bulk of his life riddled with a joe king, gun
slinging tub back ha chew win, bard **** wordsmith,
who doth newt like to utter any crossword.

Joseph Robinette Biden
now commander in chief yay
manning ship of state
tossing anchors aweigh
heavily pierced tattooed
donning sheepish pirate(s)
at heady roiling waterway
fending off trolling rapscallion
much more thrilling

than watching cabaret
January twenty first two thousand
twenty one marks his first full day
wherein Oval Office finally
flushed, ousted, and zapped,
whose paternal ancestry
begat genealogical linkedin émigré
name unknown, nevertheless

one Johann Trump born within
Bobenheim am Berg, a village
in Palatinate, Germany circa 1789
moved to nearby village of Kallstadt
where his grandson, Friedrich Trump,
the grandfather of Donald Trump,
born in 1869 gamboled
upon grassy fairway
whereby grandson notorious

to grandstand and gainsay,
but especially renowned
windblown coiffure
kept intact courtesy "fake" hairspray
said product he did fulminate
against and inveigh,
cuz he envied (as does yours truly)
the trademark thatch sported by J.F.K.

At long last, a stalwart adept candidate
unwittingly saddled
with onerous figurative freight
COVID-19, homelessness, joblessness
sober statistics impossible mission to inflate,
whose physique slender and lightweight
boot pulleys and levers of power

he quite savvily can operate
personable and suave demeanor doth resonate
allowing, enabling, and providing
law and order to materialize,
and accomplishments downplayed
(unlike previous commander in chief)
whose braggadocio would never underrate.

Concern still prevails
regarding that woman user
egging fascistic paramilitary
white supremacist ilk
twittering as a digital schmoozer
hell bent on sowing anarchy,

cuz other Democratic contestant
did not defeat
soured at prospect their man beat
(him - who shall not be named again
ranks as a sore loser)
nevertheless, an oafish shill bruiser.

If prognostications allowed me,
at bedtime, when a supine American,
one garden variety and generic
sleepy Joe among madding crowd
will experience glee

at prospective buoyancy, decency,
fraternity, harmony, jollity, levity,
nobility, prosperity, serenity, tranquility...
wishing no ill will toward
former forty sixth president.

Police sirens wail doth punctuate the air
ear splitting soundclouds blare
another typical arrest
(guilty until proven innocent if ever)
so much for Black Lives matter protests
biased accusations didst plainly reveal
how strong arm off the law doth err
injustice against persons of color ain't fair

discrimination toward mine brethren insnare
prejudice against skin color
finds white supremacists to jeer
I don't blame Senate Minority Leader,
yet his clout asserted
courtesy gesticulating midair
helping to legislate
(outside his Kentucky bailiwick)
against racial profiling nightmare.

I live far from city of brotherly love,
a peacemonger at heart else known as a dove
yours truly ofttimes seeks succor
tilting head above.

Nevertheless (meaning no matter
yours truly lives safe distance from
where citizens take up arms
showing themselves mad as a hatter)
humility devoid of white privilege,
one country bumpkin does flatter
himself versus those donning haughtiness
trumpeting arrogance, bombasity, conceit...,
qua egotistical chatter.

Such nonstop ceaseless bluster
characterizing prolonged speech
never employed courtesy
General George Armstrong Custer
unbeknownst to above named Civil War fighter,
nary non violent stonewalling tactics,
he did not muster
namely delaying antics named filibuster
from Dutch word meaning "pirate"
became popular in the 1850s.

As an aside,
the Battle of the Little Bighorn
in Montana a fiasco
for said United States Army officer,
(a cavalry commander
in American Civil War
and American Indian Wars)
decimated his 7th cavalry regiment
against a band of Lakota Sioux
and Cheyenne warriors.

Native Americans got *** rap
essentially their tribes encountered deadly zap,
no matter mass slaughter, née genocide
occurred (figuratively) fast as fingers snap
essentially life, liberty
and pursuit of happiness abrogated
forever caught in cross hairs of bigotry trap.

discombobulated, harried, and lobotomized
state of body, mind, and spirit triage.

Onset of dark shadows signalling edge of night
occurs earlier as the world turns  
beckoning, hinting, robbing passage
regarding days of our lives,
where the young and the restless,
plus the bold and the beautiful
exhibit variations on a theme
titled one life to live.

Within my figurative neck of woods
boughs bend forming roods,
where all across the United States
except Arizona and Hawaii
troubadoors festooned nsync
with generational matriarchs
wearing hoods remaining incognito
as identity guard of their broods
mare uncannily decked, and
tricked out as an old man,
usually in a white robe,
having a white beard,
and carrying a scythe
signify turning the clock one hour
at 2:00 AM eastern standard time,
hence birthing following
reasonable ridiculous rhyme.

Hour hands clock get set back
sixty minutes of Autumn
round about this same of month
every year, what a ***
er, and inconvenient truth
diverged from this chum
purposelessly manipulating a hold over,
sans yesteryear doth drum
a sensation of jet lag
(with earth in the balance)
as if watching Monty Python's flying circus
within time machine
at warp speed from
this station, where bumpy ride
invariably finds me
feeling a bit ticked off and glum
and in no mood to rhyme,
nor be leer re: cull
juiced barely tantamount
to gather scattered wits
sin tide, and express mood as *** hum

fortunate, this chronological seismic shift
nada wide, ah assume,
nevertheless mein kampf
cerebral hemispheric plate tectonics
comb pluck hated off jangling
black keys helplessly boom
fancifully drifting and boring into
quick ribald sand trap doom
ming an inducement
for emergency convoy, when pitched from

sea to figurative shining seven sea –
gram ma mother earth glum,
where live yik yak
viewed thru Tik Tok wired vanguard
trulia tried optimism to hum
nevertheless, swallowed (Old Rotten Gotham)
sliding down into behavioral sink
analogous to cremated ashes of late mother
once boxed, but long since scattered into eternity
like talcum powder went – me mum

bling bloviation, once worth
matchless peerage, now pitched numb
lee into morass of temporary confusion,
where existence not peachy keen plumb
line delineating circadian rhythm offset,
when athwart Jane Pilots' ***
man strait ting and bickering
with Lilliputians slum
bring within islets of langerhans
defiantly, haughtily and laughably thumb

ming nose, where
body, mind & soul Weeknd
viz a bully did cower,
hence (principal at Methacton
Junior High School) Mister Clock,
who got hijacked
3600 seconds per hour
experienced head, thorax
and abdomen diminishing in power
wrought indistinguishable
Whitsuntide as sour
grapes of wrath
imposing ill fitting sea legs,
which folded like a faulty tower
crumbling skeletal carapace,
resoundingly surrendered,
and back slid vis a vis
space/time continuum did devour.

Black hole event horizon indeed kept
bottled up cosmic genie good Lord
and Taylor (swift) lock step
as das joint mill on the floss hoard
sucker punched the band
Reo SpeedWagon of father time,
whose riffs a silent chord
nsync with atomic fractional second bored
quirky shenanigans toying with chronometers
counter point of view shifted
to oppose this minute accord.

min(no) newt effect on me.

As part and parcel of terpsichorean repertoire,
one whirling dervish
***** his wings at the speed of sound.

With twenty three hours
Sunday March 9th, 2025
essentially 2:00:00 to 2:59:59
does not exist
in the night of the switch
(back to the house of Pooh Corner)
not only in Pennsylvania
(but as well as
across the United States)
will begin at 2:00 AM,
(thus dear reader ye moost
stay awake two hours into)
Sunday, March ninth
originally implemented over
one hundred years ago,
in 1918 during World War I
to help conserve fuel and power
and extend the workday
where countless nations
did lyft the bulk of production
after supporting a wartime economy.

Working during the sunlight hours
meant burning less fuel,
and the ability to work
later into the day
and moost likely will impact
min-née-ute effect on me
a run of the mill on the Floss
amazingly gracefully aging
long haired pencil necked geek,
who welcomes increased photons
while sunbathing within his alcove
just outside the bedroom window.

Just moments ago,
I dusk hoovered a dawning realization
which arose within the noggin
of this sol son begat
from when ma late mother most fecund
but twenty years ago May 5th, 2025
hook hot whisked away courtesy grim reaper,
and then, (when following portion of poem written)
nonagenarian widower father of mine,
who sat bolt upright in bed
uttering apostrophic comment
before succombing to catastrophic
congestive heart failure,
when this sole son visited him on his deathbed
boot merely the painful revelation
never to talk to the man
who, how he learned me fist bumping
suddenly recalled for no particular
rhyme nor reason
when dee clocks hour hand moved ahead
remembered by dat
dog gone refrain
spring ahead, and fall back,
this unemployed chap
doth down play eclat
courtesy Father Time
experiencing malignant coup d'etat,
attests that his quotidian schedule
of being a faux lounge lizard minimally affected
while being holed up here
in Highland Manor named flat
barely roomy enough
for thyself, the Missus,
and buzzfeed ding fruit flies
each fuzz beating insect
approximately the size of a gnat
a minor nuisance, though tolerable
within this appealing habitat,

where minor inconvenient truth experienced
while earthling in the balance
between living social versus being homeless
by this Schwenksville, Pennsylvania resident
cuz as a recipient
of social security disability,
(which Trump's wrecking ball may obliterate)
social anxiety – and more accurately
schizoid personality disorder
psychological qualifier
that didst get linkedin with receiving
unearned income int to pay rent,
which fixed (unearned) income budgeted
and predominantly allocated to costs
of living money basic necessities spent,
hence no need to arise
bright tailed and bushy eyed,
a freedom akin
to festive folks camped out in a tent,
which exemption immunizes
this doodle ling middle aged
muddle brained chap
subjecting unsuspecting readers
to his inane raving and ranting
affiliated with early morning drivers,
who angrily, frenetically,
and splenetically rant and vent
thus, the tendency, piquancy, and lunacy
to twitter for the Yardbirds,
and keep company
with night owls, who went

a hooting for all the world wide web
to hear, whence straw dawgs Bach,
the exact number of hours, yer oblivious
to the tight rigorous mortised schedule
manned by Mister Clock,
essentially foisting on bread winners,
an abstract artificial construct spurring
madcap commuters to scurry in the rat race,
lest tardiness could cost
more than ham iz zone whole paycheck
(to ap pier with permanent dock
hue ment aye shun),
an unwonted blot add hock
king worry about getting canned - laughter
i.e. on permanent furlough,
perhaps forced into a life of crime,
yet if caught...
courtesy strapping ****
drags me, a wimpy wordsmith
wasting away in a jail cell,
a veritable wasteland
surprised to hear the knock
of the princess warden
as she turns tumblers within the lock,
mein future fate in her fingers
if let free and clear,
to hire myself as a robot,
with artificial intelligence
greater than any mortal man or woman;
one redeeming factor,
would offer opportunity to mock
management, and more pertinently
mandate to rock
and roll to the incessant muted,
yet devastatingly loud tick tock.

Indoctrination courtesy pledge of allegiance
occurred every morning soon after I arrived
at grade school, a little boy namely Matthew
Scott Harris remembers obligatory recitation
mindful to keep right hand over left breast to
experience the beating heart, not knowing re:
son nor rhyme, neither giving a fig, but meekly,
passively, and submissively heeding parochial
ideology, fidelity, civility to an abstract principle
to honor symbolic representation of life, liberty,
and pursuit of happiness and though grateful
to live in a country with intimations of democracy,
I now recognize absolute zero equality (one

hundred percent hypocrisy – admitted hyperbole)
prevails concerning, kickstarting, underscoring
inalienable rights towards marginalized people:
such as those of color (endowed by their creator
because their melanocytes produce different
amount and kinds of melanin), differently abled
people (once again gifted courtesy procreative
powers) favored by chance distribution of genetic
traits to acquire aptitudes, dispositions, headstrong
manifestations, skills, (albeit academic, anarchistic,
artistic, atavistic, athletic, autistic...), and those
individuals defying gender stereotypes, (which
generalizations mainly long foster discrimination.

Descendent of proto humans
dumbfounded, mystified, stupefied, et cetera
despite plethora of technological trappings,
whereby world wide web virtually linkedin
allowing, enabling, and providing
instantaneous electronic feedback,
I still experience dearth
of mental, psychological and social
meaningfulness amidst cerebral chaos
courtesy healthy mailer daemons

occupying sixty plus shades of gray matter
more valuable then any terrain
designated as Silicon Valley or Wall Street
constituting nexus of brain power,
where metaphysical thoughts proliferate
and ponder such basic thought
such as who art yours truly
what (I declare)
will constitute date with death
and where will corporeal flesh
and spirit separately journey?

Since time immemorial
millennium generations
happenstance bestowed **** sapiens
ability to become self aware
double edged figurative sword
allowing, enabling, providing...
forebears of yesteryear
to marvel at life, and
reckon with death,
which mixed blessing
wrestling with living and dying

also confronts man/womankind
during twenty first century
said inscrutable dilemma,
albeit reconciling mortality
linkedin with consciousness
heightened, tested, under_scored...
particularly at demise dearly departed
inadvertently affect
upon surviving family members
hijacking, offsetting, upending...

fracturing emotional composure
prompting immediate questions
regarding purposefulness living
nee, being born essentially to die
predestined to pass away
identical fate decreed upon
all animals and plants
bolstered by believing deity
foreordained every creature
past, present, and future,

yet most pronounceable afflicting
non denominational, non
religious, non sectarian
case in point Unitarian,
vis a vis visa versa secular humanists,
especially nonsensical poet wannabe
riddled with perplexity
about nature of being alive
wondering what explains
essence constituting individual fluke

finding meaning scuttling
across world wide web
hither and yon, to and fro
dumbfounded at futility
absolute zero adequate answers
(again, unless one subscribes
to codified doctrinal dogma
i.e. religion, faith, creed...)
I attest as garden variety primate
baffled, flummoxed, nonplussed...

why chance genetic dice throw
gifted me finite time
solely to contemplate
(more than just my navel)
meaningfulness analogous
to scrutinizing Möbius strip
unable to identify
inscrutable mystery
defining random existence
specifically essence
happenstance/circumstance
which begat me Matthew Scott Harris.

His noggin mottled, plagued, and riddled
with debilitating accursed impediments
since birth circa
January xiii mcmlix.

No matter yours truly an atheist,
I consider myself fascinated with my ancestry
x cited regarding: upcoming
Jewish holiday fast approaching
by the bewitching hour which doth hold key
to Chamber Of Secrets to – me
analogous being Sorcerer's Apprentice
as you will read and see,
though impossible mission
to proffer extensive family tree.

Courtesy of Google, this grown man
linked in with tribes of Zion
indulged curiosity of mine
proudly harkens, (particularly
as he doth accumulate orbitz around the sun)
from Semitic ancestral line
surrounded by Jewish community
(countless years ago,
when we called Penn Valley
our place of residence)
off a street that arches
(like Noah’s bow sprint)
and named Woodbine.

Yet, he knows virtually nothing
about Jewish History
lets inquisitiveness wander
as a descendent from the “Lost Tribes Of Israel”
pondering how his life would be lived
if baptized in customs, faith, and religion
considered one of the oldest codified paradigms.
  
The first of the High Holy Days
or Yamim Nora'im ("Days of Awe")
celebrated on the first two days of Tishrei
the first day of the seventh month as "Zikhron Teru'ah"
("A memorial with the blowing of horns").

Rosh Hashanah is described as "the day of judgment"
(Yom ha-Din) and "the day of remembrance"
(Yom ha-Zikkaron)
occurs 163 days after the first day of Passover (Pesach)
beginning of Rosh Hashanah  
at sundown at the end of 29 Elul.

The evening before Rosh Hashanah day is known
as Erev Rosh Hashanah ("Rosh Hashanah eve").

On Rosh Hashanah day,
religious poems, called piyyuttim,
are added to the regular services.

A special prayer book,
the Mahzor is used
on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

This sacred day, the horn doth blow to chauffeur
(two precious daughters
now grown and autonomous
didst long since exit and escape
parental basket of deplorables,
where freedon beckoned,
when age of consent attained
exited out front door)
marginally linkedin with historical past
replete with tantalizing lore
where legions of commandments pour
and more relevant than ever
as global tempests roar
atrocity diminishing Hebraic peoples
courtesy incessant pograms and war.

avast extent of following poem
crafted a couple plus years ago,
when foretaste of temperate weather
covered swath of eastern seaboard.

Courtesy climate change
(think global warming),
I would never wish to exchange
unseasonably warm temperature
(eighteen plus degrees celsius
in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania)
meaning way out of expected range,
cuz far to balmy, undoubtedly
with old man winter furious
his blizzard snowbound
weather forecasts shortchanged.

Once thermometer readings rise
even smidgen one moost not minimize
Earth way out of balance,
an inconvenient truth
I haint gonna catastrophize
as bajillion acres plus
one after another ocean dries
even the skeptic cannot turn
blind eye and believe contrary lies
when every species practically extinct

and self proclaimed éminence grise
doth trumpet and stubbornly tries
to claim plethora unearthed resources
as sudden goldmine
against wages of sin
former traitor joe
(biden his time) redeemers actualize
to catalyze nth industrial revolution
teaching as heresy
ecocentric, which material basket
of deplorables power mongers bowdlerize

concurrence toward meteorological
trend most all people agree
toward adapting, experiencing,
and witnessing increase -
fair in height degree
bestowed upon Thomas Newcomen,
Richard Arkwright, Samuel Crompton,
Edmund Cartwright
and James Watt first Industrial

Revolution conferred as honoree
appellation not necessarily
in retrospect donned as noble pedigree,
now hundred of years
later downside we see
of belching, coughing,
disorging... yes siree
foul, (née deadly)
cancerous, gaseous, noxious... pollutants.

Decreased dissension
grudgingly did abate
unclouded protests trumpet
Trump to abdicate
irrefutable proof generates
activist voices to accumulate
linkedin over Green Party
blessedly to administrate

hoop fully figurative tide
will turn and aerate
political atmosphere whereby
progressive minds will affiliate
otherwise business as usual,
cuz spewing deadly particulate
will only aggravate
dire straits, where
webbed wide world series

of unfortunate events will airdate
prophetic apocalyptic fate
especially if nonprogressive
stodgy commander in chief re-elected
flush with bigotry and hate
increased chance (chants) ripe state
for revolution avast swath
of population to amalgamate,

and overthrow anachronistic government
absolute zero survival unless dramatic
nondestructive strategy eschewed
to supplant exploitation and mandate
radical transformation, which dramatic
shift off grid if lucky requisite
Earth friendly manufacturing
can possibly ameliorate.

Witnessed courtesy the following poetic sight
especially when dark shadows foretell edge of night
twilight zone expanding
into outer limits of width and height
obscuring webbed wide world
subsequently where black tentacles alight.

This poetic prologue feeble exercise to encapsulate commonplace frustration experienced by fledgling author evidenced by spurious poem dredged up below decks foregoing full sentences, which will resume reflections being hobbled to cobble words together, when yours truly tries his darndest to re-captcha fleeting idea or sentiment.

Minimal productiveness
as hands of time issue silent tick tock
resultant rhyme without reason mere schlock
conceding intelligence on par with rock
consanguinity quite evident
versus key difference
when affliction named agraphia doth lock
stock and barrel creative juices
resounding, resonating, and resolving

into echo chamber with hollowness when
upon noggin of scapegoat bully doth knock
impossible mission to fend off badass ****
whereby yours truly envisions
fanciful day dream lazing a boat on the dock
carefree mindset disallows watching clock
repudiating, spurning, and thwarting
thee dilemma of writer's block
deliberating calling ghost writer ad hoc

One former bohemian rhapsodizes (and a young bare cub at Antioch to boot), now prosaically expounds courtesy lengthy epistemological expressing difficulty to craft complex literary edifice applying building blocks of English language in a fitting manner that does justice to said lingua franca giving liberty to leaping lizard thoughts that dart to and fro, hither and yon within the windmills of my mind.

Rather than censor or edit, I pour out at rapid fire rate, the notions (ala kingly brainstorm) that flit thru me  noggin when first staring at the black and white screen, sometimes eyes remain closed to help initiate the process to summon forth this, that, or another just barely perceptible concept; the task less difficult when the topic provided, which preconceived subject narrows focus into figurative box.

When provided specific issue to write about
the effort still arduous to gather plethora of
disparate points aware near infinite number
of directions discourse in question
could take this, that or another route,
whereby any path could lead to a dead end
with impulse to yank inkwell and spill spout
all over manuscript,
a Rorschach work of art to tout.

Countless trials and errors entail exploration
to the near state of physical exhaustion
where each logical conclusion finds pensive
fellow inextricably entangled within his own
thicket of unprintable verbiage.

Would you dear reader believe a/or accept
eureka moments arise stealthily as cats crept
unexpectedly and inconveniently when I
get situated on toilet and whole paragraphs
tumble into consciousness pell mell faster
than bowels expelling ****** waste matter
from derrière except
Macbook Pro in other room kept
safe and sound against accidents
if mishap occurred resident Kuni Lemel
would be convulsing with grief as he wept.

Yielded pink bundle of joy
self determined autonomous millennial
relocated University of Pennsylvania
Engineering graduate class of 2019
calls Oakland, California home
(employed at Certified B Corporation)
lives with her lovely beau,
and two beautiful tortoiseshell cats.

December twenty second
two thousand twenty one
marks her twenty fifth birthday
punctuated with stunning
successful track record,
in sum re: conscientious, industrious,
and unpretentious
a whip smart young woman.

The above summarized unbiased opinion
courtesy me, her sexagenarian birth father,
whose aforementioned progeny,
she consciously contributes beneficence,
eminence, and magnificence
thru unbridled aura, charisma, and dogma,
she did/doth steadfastly groom.

No handbook (as promised
by manufacturer to boot
ever preceded by Sir-vex
gently coaxed courtesy
Sir Lance - Alot), nor followed suit
leaving nervous dada
in the dark spooked by a hoot
at onset, when our bundle of joy
more valuable than any amount of loot.

Never could this baby boomer papa
imagine how thee first of our deux daughters,
would invite learning me
how to comprehend
unfamiliar infant signalling
siren ear splitting strife,
and mandatory pronto reception,
unwittingly, opportunistically, ineluctably
glorifying, edifying, contributing,
enriching, altering for mein kampf.

Prior to parturition of our eldest progeny,
parent trap posed challenge
of lifetime Yukon bet
necessitating newly minted father
to oblige himself at expense
accruing sleep debit
cuz baby demanded, obliged, and required
his constant attention,
whereby he quickly learned
how tender loving care proffered

on behalf of infant
every waking and sleeping second,
minute, and quotidian hour
took precedence lest guiltiness
materialize begetting emotional debt,
nevertheless despite initial onset
of anticipatory anxiety no pet
tee personal issue; burping baby,
diapering, swaddling, et cetera
forced displacement of mine personal habits,

which become secondary, tertiary, quaternary...
cuz ye felt helpless to do otherwise,
thus natural born instincts found thee
to wail away uninterruptedly
obviously, seriously and visibly upset
to keep figurative whet
stone sharp every waking
and sleeping moment
of prized, loved, and cherished
your existence yet.

An adjustment mandated
yours truly to kickstart incumbent role
and immediately adapt to paternal nurture
nine months after procreation
to refocus shift from self to infant
twenty four hours, seven days a week
ofttimes lugging stroller and offspring
down flight of stairs
we occupied a one bedroom flat

atop second floor
at Pennfield Manor not heaven sent
situated within breathing distance
of Hatfield slaughterhouse five
jumpstarting odoriferous scent
when butcher plunged knife
into vitals of animal,
whose will to live slain creature
probably did feebly vent.

thru truckloads of his personal communiqués broadcast
(methinks quite some years ago) across world wide web,
but now still smarting from selfishness, I feel quite aghast.

Yes practically every word
needs be overwritten with bleep,
nevertheless, an intimation doth arise
regarding me-an utter creep,
whose abominable banality, deplorable effability,
horrible insecurity, miserable notoriety...
impossible mission to expunge
indelible impression wrought upon
kith and kin, their rancor
towards me invariably runs deep.

A veritable desert storm sweeps across psyche
of one humbled wedded wordsmith,
who derived vicarious testosterone laden pleasure
attempting to arouse adventuristic, cathartic, ******,
gymnastic, idealistic, kinetic, monopolistic,
opportunistic, quixotic, sensualistic,
unproblematic, and wholistic desire.

Upon scrolling thru mine
quite *******, sordid outdated
personal classified advertisements
herewith follows mild mannered random sample.

...though in me noggin go wah wick it tee whack
*** i ham bull across mental railroad track
ah bet cha, u probably hit the sack
perhaps after quaffing ample liquor on the rack
perhaps daniels jack
or **** king a drag to ease the frack
king beau wows - whether
yar special prince charming white
or orange is the new black.

poetry n prose trademark tagline
of non rugged Scottish tar tanned Matt
whose seeks emotional covalent bond
with a gentle electronic sparks fur us to align.

I use words to hew as doth an ax
cuz, this man haint wanna
re:sieve any mo' cracks
hoop ping newt to induce any flax
wassup - u ax well just wanna relax
n enjoy ******* 2 the max.

'Though principle balance
accounts compounding interest
to pusillanimous po' paw
span more'n one direction set
724 numb bored abode
west o old railroad tracks
don't cross less b *** human co slaw.

thus police try knot 2 judge me
though yar mind i might tax
via the following human
healthy (nada hedonistic) nirvana
pardner 2 ride gingerly
as if...among pacman
with his oxygenated yoked yaks.

I lived west about a doze zen
***** dire strait deeds
done dirt cheap miles
from center city Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania), where tapped kidney *** freeze
and saw no email nor any text message
e'en one replete with **** n ******
cuz I wanna u2 to hear
inxs of imagine dragons snorting
on verge to sne...snee...sneez...sneeze
possibly allergic flirting with amorous tease,
whereat rolling in the hay induces wheeze.

I recoil with revulsion absolute zero excuse
touting ignoble, horrible, fallible, execrable...
extramarital misdeeds sabotaging
marital fidelity courtesy
fostering illicit relationships
with veritable females,
who possibly found me feeble poetic antics
docile, juvenile, nonvolatile, ultravirile (ha)
bemused, cajoled, enticed, finagled...
at overtures sporting Casanova wannabe.

And feel energized after
light exercise doth spawn
break through viz mental impasse,
where endeavor to coax
germinating ideas to sprout
about as successful as
buzzfeeding, jump/kick starting
rooting brown lawn
to whether drought.

Long fostering literary creativity
analogous to prying open
figurative curtain drawn
shut tight within
thy noggin unresponsive
even when brute force
strongly applied, but still...
no progress (for aging Pilgrim)
made come crack of dawn,
thus I temporarily abandon intent.

An effort to craft satisfactory poem or prose,
(which coveted, kindled, unexpected...
futile endeavor deluges me when
least able to jot down eureka,
whereby brainstorm burst adrip
saturating yours truly head to toes
dribbling out nostrils,
asper my porpoise size bottle nose,
hence this feeble effort to appease.

No expected attaboy, kudos, bravoes...
discerning metaphorical whaling expedition
beseeching, imploring, soaking...
mine mindscape with
profuse voluminous wisdom
sans anonymous followers
waiting for me to compose
usual meaningless gibberish or
rare profound nugget of wisdom to disclose.

While thrashing within cyber sea,
possibly abandoning ambition to compose
superbly laced, ginned, coined...
poetic adage gee oh
into magnum opus masterpiece
eye catchingly exotic creation
exquisite as silk negligee pantyhose
(yea...perhaps yours truly
will also send near **** selfie,
a worse fate than death

cab for cutie)
and chuck stock inhibition
brokering favorable frescoes
tattooed across flesh
accentuating anatomical contours of flab
wharf flexing muscles simulates geckoes,
(albeit selling progressive insurance)
appearing to slither across body electric
predictably ******* Freudian peccadillos,
now bolt upright - ******* awakened,
no longer sleepy,

but dwarfed by giant spuds,
no small potatoes
eh...yar right to deem this poker face
eccentric - born (free) this way,
how Elsa to explain (without lion)
rambling riotous rumination
one among many bumptious desperadoes,
and oh...mooch *** gracias reading poem
bumbling, degenerating, fizzling...
into lobbying primal salvoes.

Childhood campy chimera curtain call
subsequently hinting (based on accuweather)
the approach of blizzard squall
so burrow under quilted cover y'all
until warm temperatures arrive when springtime
ushers social media platforms
buzzfeeding earthlinked instant karma
jump/kickstarting linkedin outlook
twittering romance in the air that's zall
mother nature holds in store
after Old Man Winter
(lame as a duck this year)
attempts to make one last hooha.

Arctic bitter dead of winter cold
ice sole ace shun finds solitudinarian
to ******* (not prematurely)
shiver me timbers
cursing fate (and diagnosis of
schizoid personality disorder) for being alone
while polar vortex deep sub zero temperatures
freezes each lovely bone
excellent existential prized memory
swimmingly recalls boyhood

listening to drone
of various and sundry
en deer ring fauna
extant amidst greensward,
where imagination hath flown
to imaginary Eden lyft ting
uber a maize zing ears
cocked while doodling towards
Mother Nature's petsmart crafted chorus
flushing out soundcloud

queen of happy campers
with bees zee winged
wonders as they hone
suite tracks unstinting
well crafted aural presentations
intended to entice
a mate opposite jejune
targeting their search
nsync with one or another
favorable counterpart, this buzzing

destiny could favor a loon
or some other apropos biological entity
(or perchance if desperate
to mate) **** sitter
another species including the manifestation
of microbes on the moon
whereat boys and girls bounding,
exclaiming, and yelping
joie de vivre asper when counselors
blow whistle call at high noon
hour of day iz lunch, thence resuming

their made up fun and par lore games
such as knight in shining armor
dashing off to save
damsel in distress signaling
heroism asserts itself really soon
sans SOS and favorite ringtone
(emulating Fisher Price) tune
of potential prince
where young love doth Flickr
oblivious to a similar situation, aye lichen
to avast Marcy's playground.

Such panoply a prediction
forecast by Doctor Punxsutawney Phil
a blue oyster cult meme burr
thus, in layperson terms
six more weeks of winter for 2023 -
so stay warm to stave off feeling offal
bodes ill for species who clamor for warmth -
supposed tell tale shadow

spelt "N+I+L+L"
and remain in hibernation
if opportunities allow,
and be thankful for not bing forced to mill
around seeking warmth
(case in point a street person),
but ye and the big or 'lil
body of warm flesh adjacent to thee

(this day and age -
unlike stereotypical storybook account
about Jack of all trades and Jill
exhibiting traditional garb
many kin did instill  
gender preference a moot factor),
or take stock, stock and barrel,
how other creatures great and small

burrow underground under a hill
(shaped like an upside down pineapple)
or reef amphibians, mammals, reptiles...
instinct can remain
20,000 Leagues Under The Sea
a fictitious place evoked by Jules Verne,...
hmm...maybe he might breathe
courtesy of an atavistic gill,
who would downplay brouhaha
to avoid any cavil;
nevertheless any objectionable content
forward complaint to yours truly
stating point of view
before the end of April.

our sixth anniversary at Highland Manor Apartments

Subtitled: The perspective of one festive folky fellow
friendliness ofttimes prompts me
when crossing paths with another to say “hello,”
whose demeanor trends toward being mellow
courtesy about eight medications
unaffected whether weather overcast
or sunshine reigning down bright yellow.

Our present habitat digs,
(per this mister and his missus), a psychic boon
dock - located at geographical coordinates,
(circa 1684 folks wove cocoon)
40.2562° North, 75.4638° West,
out of ****** forests log cabins hewn,
still a vestige of Pacific rural life lock,
especially fauna and flora abounds
during month of June.

Across American landscape
usurped from indigenous peoples,
underming storied traditions in cold blood
eponymous namesake affixed
to honor exploits of “European Outsiders”,
co-opted land sinker, liner, and hook
with each constituent treaty a dud
mortgaged to industrialization
contributing to lowlands to flood
comprising one of many complex edifices –

at latitude and longitude not prone to flood
this repurposed elementary school
into affordable housing sans low income good
lee managed by Grosse and Quade,
which facility nestled far from any hood,
gang or  foo fighting beastie boys
lacking manners with actions lewd
thus within the pastoral enclave
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,
there prevails a tranquil mood

with concomitant safety,
such that an inhabitant can patter about
(in their apartment) ****
though prudish older occupants
may object, and especially be *****
dish, snapping, popping and moaning
with unsolicited mutterings mostly rude
claiming to lack comprehending the habits
of younger generations 'liberal at tee tude
nonetheless, the sprawling range “Penn's Wood.'”

Eager immigrants brought native  
brought seeds of white lily to transplant
preserving vestigial tidbits
******* quoted in text books
writ from a biased Western European slant
rightfully, the Elysian Fields of lush,
resplendent and transcendent hue Kant
argue against snatched, stolen
and swindled with hollow promises –  
immediately nullified treaty(ies)
relegated inhospitable land extant
with absolutely zero compensation
given, where prevaricated misdeeds
against slandered “red men”
intruders did chant.

Twas plain and simple genocide
whereat spirits of vanquished
“noble savage –  in spare copse hide
to borrow a tagline from
Jean Jacques Rousseau – predating inside
edition (which if fair), would waver
to admit how fore parents lied
and long entrenched perspective
adopted, viz pilgrims and/or puritan pride,
parcelled of acreage courtesy
how average male didst stride
yet this passive quintessential renegade scrivener
senses ghosts of “Indians” swoosh at high tide
unseen immortal souls corporeal essence
long since trampled world wide.

at Henry Kline Boyer Elementary School
interestingly enough landed me a grubhub grab bag.

I rooted thru poetry anthology of mine,
and came across an unpublished poem
by one obscure poet (me), whose trademark
wit and wisdom hallmark
cardinal characteristics
of posthumous fame and fortune
largesse most likely
tabby bestowed upon grand kittens -
appended courtesy Facebook
since none of my two (both
twenty something aged) darling daughters
opted to be fruitful and multiply.

Courtesy brainchild of dear old dad
(actually when alive
and in his prime, he happened to be spunky
as an overgrown lad),
unanimous assent between him and mother
(she also when young, his junior by a tad)
both agreed their quiet natured son
(yours truly plus younger sister)
best be outfitted as *******.

Anyway, as a Halloween costume,
one year during early grade school,
my father got the brilliant idea
for his sole son to be dressed
with one of a kind getup.

Missus Shaner – long since gone to dust
(the talon clawed, shriveled
relic of a dinosaur,
who taught fifth grade)
gave me first prize,
and subsequently felt so convinced
about authenticity of this kid
being “privileged white trash”,
she notified another kid
dressed as a janitor
to dispense with me
in the school dumpster.

The sanitation disposal company
drove me (and subsequently
dumped yours truly
among the real *******
in the dumpster)
to nearest landfill
loaded with all kinds of junk
such as food scraps, recyclables,
and soiled diapers.

Over a short span of time,
the detritus commingled
into one noxious brew
of a despicable fly haven,
whereby jiggling lifelike maggots,
jumpstarted, lunched, and nursed putrescence
re: reeking and teeming vibrantly
with yum zuck for a swamp thing,
I seemed to be metamorphosed
into sewer rat as if by some cruel hoax.
Nothing prepared, neither sickened
nor violated senses
of smell, sight, taste, and touch
to the maximum factor
intolerant of odoriferous odious stench.

Each pestilential assault
issued an appalling refrain
courtesy Fiona Apple's:
The Idler Wheel Is Wiser
than the Driver of the *****
and Whipping Cords Will Serve You
More than Ropes Will Ever Do.

Before mine myopic bespectacled eyes
(smarting from constant comet drubbing irritants
(which glasses – rather bifocals –
caked with smudge good as naught),
stayed wide shut from inundation
of said corrosive gaseous shaped
oxbow lake comprising wreath like wisps.

Liberty vis a vis in sight
envisioned visibly threatened offshoots
of tendril spikes; snaking sneakily,
sordidly slithering silently,
yet straightaway as a scene
from some spooky sideshow
or “haunted house”.

This ugly slop
splashed upon mine formerly
pristine academic uniform
appeared near identical
to the grub hub (the lunch lady served)
splattered sundry speckles
sans sundry detritus,
which found me writhing with nausea.

Thee nasty muck and mire
found this formerly introverted boy
transformed into a sponge bobbing
squarely panting creature
from the black lagoon,
whose skinny sea legs
sought semi-solid surface
to stand upright position amidst
variegated flotsam and jetsam.

Dishabille appearance acquired
a fresh splattered coat of rancid slimy
green eggs and ham with bacon
covered gangly arms
(among other bit pieces of moldy clothes,
food and iconic library oddment)
ricocheted unpredictably as trash truck
violently shook up and down
all night long en route on this highway to hell
found me thunderstruck
(before being buried alive in Moyer’s Dump),
which toxic brew would be declared
a SuperFund Site
and shuttered in the near future.

Once Robert Hall wardrobe
affixed with a capital one fancy feast
of grateful dead roadkill,
kickstarter from some automotive contraption,
and plenti of fish heads
(with thine spongy bobbing square pants
trimmed with lovely bones),
I felt indistinguishable
from regular riffraff riding shotgun.

When random trucker parked and stopped,
the awful bin laden made ready
to empty contents within the mountain
of olfactory noxious material.

A thought occurred,
that now might be the golden
(or rather **** steeped) opportunity
to extricate myself
from morass of mish mashed,
spud nicked mine
linkedin kindled juggernaut,
icky first class bric a brac.

signaled one hundred seconds to midnight

A couple years ago
similarly titled poem I did write,
yet looms as harbinger unless
**** sapiens can unite
one non Yiddish speaking
Ongematert wishing ye
fare thee well tonight
before betokening apocalyptic sight
'course one must go about
her/his business - right?

Rhetorical question - yet
impossible mission quite
challenging, where one
brother grimm ponders plight
Cosmofunnel favorite fan
Katina Borgersen "****"
our acquaintanceship dissolved
(think - snapped fingers) outright
regardless, whether...
perchance we ever
cross paths long daze

journey into night
met under virtual reality moonlight
ah... the mere awareness
of her existence
metaphorically found modest, mercurial
mellow male within limelight
oy vey admittedly one
rusty Ongepatshket knight
fumbling in the dark with
his unreliable sputtering jacklight
hooping aforesaid gal whose eyes alight

upon mine genuine words doth newt
**** sitter me laughable, nor impolite,
yet accept hard reality to highlight
and/or _ underscore delight
full dame online - each of us,
an infinitesimal jot of granulite
within vast cosmos given finite
minuscule time to excite
our senses trending utmost delight
during brief unique
deoxynucleic chromosomal copyright

til death do us part,
whether natural demise
or... huge mushroom
clouds radioactive blight
unimaginable nightmarish scenario
impossible mission to close third eye blind
webbed global haunting spectacle
mortal creatures linkedin to ill fate
including yours truly,
a generic, garden variety
hermetically sealed cell bit anchorite.

Uneasiness far greater
to confront atomic augury
than pernicious penury
which ceases within eyeblink
far more serious than perjury
nonetheless afflicting me
with psychological injury.

Personal finances pitted
me deep in hock
into red room zone,
shining thru the mist
story, yes I experience
quite a shell shock,
to absorb inconvenient truth
great swaths of Gaia
analogous to dead zone,

nevertheless, now finds yours
truly poorest, oldest, and nerdiest
curmudgeon goofy "kid"
on the chopping block
within Lake Wobegon
hard space and third rock
from sun as inevitable doom
inches closer as each second elapses  
insync with inaudible tick tock.

Ah... nothing more enjoyable
than acidic gastric fluid (bile)
flowing backward into esophagus,
resulting in heartburn, meanwhile
disrupting pleasant dreams,
which phenomena also known as
gastroesophageal reflux (GER)
found me discombobulated
and swiftly tailored into harried style.

Unsure how successful literary endeavor
crafting reasonably rhyming poem;
actually the following
written a couple years ago
with only slight modification
regarding aforementioned topic
yielding moderately satisfactory
(née middling) result.

While deeply asleep
scant minutes before dawn's early light
burning sensation within deep
tracts of throat did creep,
yours truly immediately awoke
with a start, at strong violent
urge to upheap
(upchuck, toss my cookies, regurgitate...)
insync on par to set Guiness Book
of world records to leap
analogous to lemur

at lightspeed into bathroom,
(these lovely bones
ne'er made jaunt to water closet
but collapsed in a heap -
injuring right hand in the process)
nevertheless, I made little
on the contrary no bowed peep,
but immediately stood
bolt upright stock still
after crumbling to the floor
tear ducts activated eyes
as if ready to weep.

Sadness less pervasive than fright
since reverse peristalsis uncommon
within mine body electric regarding plight,
which analogous volcanic eruption
albeit bubbling magmatic flow slight
retroperistalsis or antiperistalsis
found yours truly
on par with fire breathing dragon argh
ga you ably momentarily nonplussed -
while dry cough minus gushing lava
gratefully only smoldered before simmering

upper gastrointestinal lining
courtesy mouthfuls of bottled water
allowed, enabled, and provided satiation
sudden unquenchable thirst relieved
resultant unpleasant aftertaste (no pun
intended), yet distilling humor helps
me weather, manage, cope... with
unexpected physiological fiery phenomena
- shot straight up within digest
heave tract, and did lament this rick
kitty packet of muscle and bone aft

times susceptible to disheartening
woebegone news afflicting this non
Norwegian bachelor farmer, whom
if the missus cooking triggered bout
unleashing bit torrent of unsavory
plate tectonics, perhaps indicative
of continental drift shrunk down to
miniature, (think nanobot size)
where fault in thee stars
must be held in contempt of court.

No reason for inclusion of above verse,
(previous ten lines), I just wanted
to incorporate said phrases, tip peer
me got some legal lear'n, when truth
Philly admits he seems to know less,
the more he learns, which prompts me to

posit emphatically that ignorance
equivalent to bliss, thus presenting
quandary how kin this pronouncedly
reasonably intelligent garden variety
**** sapiens unfetter himself with

cumulative knowledge without reek
horse (neigh) to invasive surgery such as...
prefrontal lobotomy, or tamping down
smarts some unknown cyber surfer(s)
could easily misconstrue as vainness,
smugness, quintessential pomposity?

wrought maximum monetary mayhem

Incomprehensible inhumane
inquisitorial imp incarnate injudiciously,
ineffably, indescribably inflicted
inxs inexorable insidious injury.

Snake charmer also known
in the underworld as Harvey Specter
subliminally slithered,
and deftly insinuated himself
into body electric of yours truly
forever remotely controlling
every waking and sleeping moment
comprising ability to function.

Ever since I got gouged senseless
attributed to spellbound dime a dozen
crooked fiendish idiotic limey oaf,
who expunged loot lickety split
courtesy flagrant ingrate
latched outsize razor-sharp wickedness
yours truly held captive
impossible mission to recognize
trickery and deceit
tumbled into abysmal chasm,
when the floor fell below my feet.

Nothing but blackness seen ad-hoc
as I spun to and fro, hither and yon
with a monetary bedrock
timelessness prevailed,
and anyway present circumstances meant
nothing more superfluous than clock,
nevertheless precious elapsing
seconds, minutes, hours, et cetera
did nothing to lessen deadlock,

which gripped me noggin
running around like a madman
then unwittingly grabbing hold of frock
donned by a trumpeting cross dresser,
who subsequently
threatened me with his glock
and quickly proceeded
to wield powerful arms
to restrain yours truly
with asphyxiating headlock.

Alas and alack
mood of mine stormy and black
existential nihilism
nemesis Harvey Specter
mein kampf, he did carjack
creature dwelleth within soundgarden
sibilate doth issue
signaling trademark diamondback.

After the scam artist
made off like a bandit
the scoundrel hit paydirt then did exit
leaving me monetarily hemorrhaging
a gaping hole,
where I feel horrible
trying to muster true grit
cuz he (aforementioned swindler -
actually blimey crook
donned name incognito)
and did squarely land a hit

me with a devastating sucker punch
draining every last red cent
thus yours truly pleading emergency crisis
lest one victim
(me) seriously contemplates
his existence to quit
(perhaps experimenting
overdosing prescription medication)
furious at myself being such a ******;
being oblivious to obvious "red flags"
such as being told to withdraw cash

practically threatening, ordering,
kickstarting, heckling me to dash
off to Citizens Bank ignoring
feeling tension while teeth
did tightly gnash
**** and bull story, I embellished
as if strung out high on hash
witnessing webbed wide world of mine
left bereft without kash
and now I recoil
as if being beaten with a lash.

Yours truly then not in his right mind
hence funding donations
would be ever so kind
lest yours truly would be inclined
to take his (my) scrawny hind
most quarters to ten thousand cannibals
after these lovely bones licked clean
red skeleton of miine enshrined.

despite entrenched familiar
obsessive compulsive disorder behavior
distracting me courtesy
countless what if scenarios,
particularly before undergoing
voluntary drastic makeover
as iterated in a previous poem,
and briefly recounted here
as foregoing Samson personification
now please don't blame Delilah!

Once the decision made
(two weeks ago
September twenty fifth
two thousand and twenty four)
to finally liberate yours truly (me)
(cue the following
Jean Jacques Rousseau quote)
"Man is born free but everywhere is in chains"
accommodating torture chamber
ala complex edifice,
(albeit invisible) *******

as tangible substitution
for undersized male member
(Sigmund Freud would be smiling)
heavily weighing down mine psyche
from harried styled
uncombed/unbrushed hair
evoking an immediate
message of nonconformity,
at last fixation nipped in the bud
immediately after beautician
rubber banded and scissored

hirsute trademark feature, a characteristic
larded with immense security
unequivocally not only
constituting a major emotional sink,
(but additionally posing environmental danger
as a potential superfund site)
long overdue for cleanup
hyperbole incorporated
to jump/kick start courtesy
tipping figurative hat
to faux generative artificial intelligence,

which amazingly
immediately delivered segway
vis-à-vis refreshing lightness of being
after bird's nest gratefully shucked off
loosed a horde
of dreadlocked exhausting fretfulness
(in addition to a rash of undiscovered biota)
linkedin to catastrophization,
whether the water
would unexpectedly cease flowing
while richly shampooing shock

of prized tangled mane,
or the electricity
would suddenly witness a power outage
disallowing the hair dryer to function
such irrational worries
(despite the unlikelihood
of either unexpected
inconvenience to occur),
nevertheless quite tiresome
sustaining outrageous thought patterns
exacerbated anxiety buzzfeeding

like nattering nabobs of nativity
and undermining peace of mind
when week after week, month after month
finally brought to a screeching halt
such debilitating mental exertion
suddenly ushering deliverance
videre licet a lightness of being,
and immediately allowed,
enabled and provided much
sought after psychological relief
likened to a gust of fresh air,

I vouchsafed to myself and the missus
to abide by much easier to manage
more fashionable impression,
thus swiftly tailored relief arose
once bedraggled unkempt ratty
and infrequently unwashed coiffure
shucked off once and for all,
no matter such drastic similar
transformations of appearance
peppered the life and times
of one long haired pencil necked geek,

whereat hands of time
would elapse bajillion times
inadvertently drawing unwanted attention
to out of vogue nineteen sixties hippy doo
invariable readopted as security blanket
to stave off
uncomfortable risks
foisting interpersonal experiences
upon head and shoulders
of deplorable basket case
unwittingly referenced from Hillary Clinton.

Unspecified number of hours spent
many yesterdays ago since March 6th, 2021
reading (cover to cover) Pennsylvania Gazette
March/April 2021 issue.

Proud papa highly regards eldest daughter,
University of Pennsylvania alum
as academic whip smart high achiever,
she did (after quite a stretch of time
after graduating) become
self supporting earning hand over fist money
employed at the B Corp
(short for Certified B Corporation)
as yours truly
(her biological father) feels glum,
cuz I would qualify
mine impossible to quantify
existence as humdrum,

hence quite envious at well deserved income,
which exact dollar figure I will remain mum
yet if privy being financially,
what me worry would become obsolete
mine mental would find me comfortably numb
livingsocial in splendour
versus dwelling in slum
bring (think dirt poor -
according to long ago slight
courtesy youngest sister)
whereby financial shortcoming exacerbates
predilection toward anxiety
with distress squarely within tum.

Back during mine salad days
earlier within mein kampf
precious time squandered away
this doubting thomas
grabbing life by figurative horns,
his outlook toward future
did excel at procrastination,

a pointedly powerful stance did delay
ambivalence toward purposefulness
hit me courtesy metaphorical
ton of bricks, now at threescore earth orbits
around the sun absorb shock
while grizzled and gray

recognizing when sober
upon post drinking up lackadaisical indifference
feigning to care not a whit,
I allude to johnny come lately self actualization
analogous to confronting judgement-day
resigned to gather wilted, shriveled, matted

rosebuds while I may
experience e'en just fleeting aliveness,
thus yours truly doth pray
to dance (why I'll) while
these spindleshanks sashay
into Elysian Fields
exorcising atrophied muscles oy vey!

I accompany my dark shadow...
(many hours before edge of night,
where twilight zone evokes night gallery),
and resumed walking a circuit
around perimeter of parking lot
today, a breezy temperate
twenty fifth of April two thousand
and twenty two, and perhaps
if regularly habituate myself
to said stroll physical endeavors
may one day find me to cantor or trot.

Yours truly realized modus operandi
to kombat (mortal) lethargy;
last year, he did stride rite
around resident parking lot area
(here at Highland Manor apartments)
then usually at approximately
19:00 hours each day
casually bumbling and ambling
one lap after another
counting one hundred and one,
one hundred and two,
one hundred and three...
coordinated with deep breathing
to distract self from repetitiveness.

Modicum of walking exercise
benefits this sexagenarian
in tandem yours truly began
burning ghee (my slang for calories)
while maintaining sitting position
placing each foot in strap
and pedalling lightweight machine
against adjusted tension.

Aside from strengthening leg muscles
choosing to while away time
by disciplining myself with former or latter,
both modes of physical fitness
also help keep anguish at bay
mental duress triggered
courtesy of property management
constituting: Zoftig, the warden
and maintenance man,
(a recent hire),
the first two whose invisible clutches

asphyxiate me and the missus
hounding us to keep
one bedroom apartment in shipshape order
and particularly to wipe away fruit fly feces
(cuz exterminator informed us
said itty bitty teeny weeny insect
breeds within their
yellowish gummy waste matter)
prompting us to Google search
senior low income apartment facilities,
spurring spurious query wondering
whether any anonymous reader
might be able, eager, ready and willing
to hand over keys to main lodging
including carriage house,
we would even settle for a dog house
or (in a manor of writing) Yukon
assign access rights to an excellent outlook.

Sense and sensibility concerning
the emotional fallout
brought about by sedentariness
(essentially affecting me to feel
glum, melancholy, and ruminative)
helped goad generic indigent solitary man
(practically self quarantined
his whole mucked up adult life)
hence not inconvenienced
when coronavirus COVID-19
wrought havoc and mayhem.

Just on the cusp of experiencing joie de vivre,
the triumvirate of Crooks and Quade
figuratively swoop down
to announce re: inspection
of apartment unit B44
whenever they deem appropriate.

Thus series of unfortunate events
(linkedin with bull limey
Lemony Snicket bro)
got sidelined nsync with
contracting a minor bout
with deadly Amish Flu
symptoms found garden variety
reasonable rhymer
bedridden feeling a little horse and buggy (ha),
incapacitated to craft signature poetry writing.

An honest to dog confession
regarding hiatus spewing forth
vociferous versatile vocabulary
mine words - worth their weight in gold
(told woofer I do not know), nevertheless
included perusing a gamut of reading material.

The passion to engross intellect
witnessed courtesy immersing
attention, concentration, excitation
gratification, intoxication;
knowledge prized more precious
than fine spun gold.

Likewise crafting (albeit painstakingly)
elusive notions that flit
to and fro hither and yon
(analogous to ping pong ball)
within parameters of
microscopically crenellated
sixty plus shades of gray matter
also constitutes fervent interest.