Aye did not heed the maxim careful
     what you wish for,
     cuz now adversity not abate
perhaps helpful for thee reader

     if this bard ****
     did apprise present woe
     by turning time machine backdate
asper how the fickle finger

     of thine existence didst create,
a more agonizing situation discerning
     scythe leant presaging grim reaper date
now welcomed with

     opened arms to extricate
fools paradise by twist,
     and shout of cruel fate
e'en locked up in a damp, dank,

     and dark dungeon more grate
full, than full blown wraith zing hate
now lemme summarize
     woe of this ingrate

where reprieve of death,
     would be to good for me to jubilate
perhaps immolation, thence
     at the stake burnt offerings

     presented to the
     "FAKE" trumpeting khanate
hence complete annihilation
     the only way to liberate

a guilty conscious weighted down
     by Sisyphean sized mill stones
now whit tis time mate
to acknowledge, and try to numerate

whereat one issue found me
     reneging and being obdurate
on reimbursing me youngest daughter,
     who could not pontificate

why she needed to fork
     over monies in relation
     to overpayment re
     guarding social security,
     essentially incumbent on me

     on me eek quate
ting to a sizable tidy sum,
     finding yours truly i rate
yet refund check she sent

     over a year ago, and spate
of anger (born by eldest lass)
     unforgivable egregious stonewalling
     do to procrastination trait

this papa (rightfully my responsibility)
     objects to bearing
     brunt of arithmetical error
plus my own meager

     very limited fiduciary reserves
     induces anxiety to undulate
thus becoming fancy free
     and foot loose bachelor

appears as emotionally
     cannibalistic (ready
     to jump off a bridge)
     to shuck off this unbearable weight.

(alternately titled no particular reason:
bring unto “fake” trumpeting Caesar
seven salad dressings from deep freezer
and lettuce deign at your plea azure.)

Graced with boyish good looks,
innocence and naiveté to boot,
an especial loathing toward me
chicken legs re: spindleshanks

(which serve as laughingstock
of dis hair reed ole coot)
oft times clad with deep purple
polka dotted sweatpants
don this nontrumpeting galoot

Asian old wise owl chimes utters
embarrassing non repeatable hoot
thus even bestowed with ample loot
to purchase peloton bike
would be laudatory suggestion,

nevertheless vigorous exercise point iz moot
cuz said skinny limb foregone conclusion
impossible mission anatomical feature aye
(nor anyone else could ever troubleshoot).

See them dang toothpick
aforementioned limbs used walking
permanently stunted courtesy anorexia nervosa,
I experienced during prepubescence
comprises subject of mooch talking
especially if yours truly wore shorts,
or even daresay skivvies out in public.

Both above listed portion of poem I write
surprisingly, truthfully, and
aye preferably, and uncomfortably uninvite
today (night) May 12th, actually tonight
electronically date/time stamped
05/12/20  10:06:21 PM

presented scary sight
regarding every other
regular instance I showered
as occurred earlier... quite
lamentable, these twiggy
body parts give Lesley Hornby

Dame Lesley Lawson DBE
blink to fast, and she becomes an oversight
born September 19, 1949
still going strong, flitting light
to and fro, hither and yon
an English model, actress, and singer,

renown during the nineteen sixties
approximately 5′ 6″ in height
widely known by the nickname Twiggy
get a serious a run for her money
totally unbeknownst to her
if so, she would serious take flight.

Matthew Scott Harris bejesus, he tried
(think self starvation)
nearly successful being unseen,
yours truly set his permanent physique
as one wimpy, scraggly, and nerdy teen

unlike above faded former star
regaled as Twiggy on silver screen,
yet his posthumous fifteen
minutes of fame encompasses
poetic style like (like for real) never seen

arose during 2020 pandemic
i.e. coronavirus CPVID-19 quarantine
and commenced quirky endeavor
crafting slapdash poetaster philistine

nonsensical, heretical (rather hair reticle),
and atypical ridiculous rhyme
wondering if ye keen
find any redeeming quality
courtesy this human haz been.

This poetic attempt an abbreviation
how biological insemination
(minus in vitro fertilization)
seeds latent **** sapiens reproduction
possibly since moment of conception,
whereby inchoate progeny

impossible to sustain
fantastic, holistic, terrific... weatherization
against prejudicial germs
that elude uterine infiltration
entering womb thru fallopian tube,
or courtesy external drive

re: environmental perturbation
microscopically initiating
biological emancipation
thank you ***** llama chin
please withhold ovation
setting in cellular division motion

begetting August poetic
jejune chain reaction
triggering anonymous
reader to yawn nonstop - definite indication
that yours truly induces excitation
in short shrift inducing
somniferous maximization,

yet for those readers
still awake lemme thank
your much ado about
nothing voluntary solicitation
to decrypt poetic
explanation, explication, exploration...

not asking concordance or agreement (ha)
without being redundant, nor repetitive
with my matted trademark communication
detailing mine opinion
courtesy quasi succinct elaboration
i.e. during the process

of in utero gestation
the embryo/fetus absorbs influences -
sorry no summation
in sight, not even
at anticipated parturition
cuz effects upon psyche of unborn
(unknown even by the twelfth night)

even after birth manifestation
within mind of next generation
heavily impacted courtesy
infernal contribution
despite most commendable
effort at postnatal

efforts to chaperone
son/daughter insulation
against prejudice virtually
impossible mission
(even spectre Tack Cuéllar,
viz ghost of Peter Graves

unable to succeed at extirpation
unfavorable antisemitism, bigotry, cruelty...
I concur religious,
racial, nationality... integration,
could certainly help deescalation
hmm... boot perhaps...

maybe not total elimination...,
yet such salient measure
could help offset blatant
outright, pervasive, queasy...
lifelong societal and personal ramification,
this targeted token
"scapegoat" closes his wordy attestation.

While figuratively (yet electronically) rifling thru bajillion documents, I came across one written four plus years ago and slightly modified today January ninth two thousand and twenty one at approximately 9:42 PM, when Hillary Clinton Democratic contestant chose Tim Kaine of Virginia as her running mate and former forty second first lady got thoroughly thrashed during debates with he who must NOT be named.

Little did yours truly (me) intimate what horrific state of affairs the forty fifth president would wreak (his latest gig desecrating sacred government enclaves housed within Capitol Hill), although keen political prognosticators foresaw calamity plain as day. If only said metaphorical crystal ball gazers ominous premonition heeded and/or brave soul(s) with chutzpah (think yours truly) raised a ruckus to oust the newly anointed commander in chief.

Hindsight always 20/20!

Egg gads, I ham aghast,
(and turning green with disgust)
at increasing popularity
witnessed by Donald Trump,
hence aye aerate thoughts,
how *** a nine his banal, demoniacal,
egomaniacal, fanatical, guttural, and hurtful
culling frightening insight, where
portentous Portuguese Man 'o War debacle
doth crowdsource, Flickr, Snapchat,
Twitter and indeed long foster
my plenti full overactive imagination

to induce writhing expressions of fearfulness
proportionate burst of haughtiness)
while he doth stump
would animate mine rear
i.e. rather noxious flatulence
expelled from outward doppelganger of ****
pull stilts skin cuz this chap haint Noah fan,
but wood vouchsafe
tub be a Jimmy Neutron
n Spongebob Squarepants
Ark n saw wing enemy against
da dull don dat does pumps

swaggering bravado with fist swelling ego
analogous to his body infected
with severe case of mumps
that brazen denizen hurling
and spewing volcanic fiery spittle
with incense against others –
to him mere lumps
of protoplasm heckled as inferior to himself
boasts as proof of favoritism,

that enervating, fawning,
gabbling feverish arrogant mania for him jumps
higher than expected,
while he commits faux paws which bumps
his ratings higher, he gleefully endorses
pandemonium toward gloating gumps
shun from the uproarious querulous
and populous madding crowd
regarding return of native son.

Throughout launch of his campaign,
banally, devilishly, and fiendishly
character assassinating those opposed to his views -
inducing me to harrumph and dump faith
in humanity, wondering what ruse
smart democratic pol mongers can conjure up

while pacing in soft shoes
woeful sentiments sans his attempt did render
competitors to drop out in ones n twos
whom he purportedly considers apostates,
and heathens cons heed Make America Great use
all manner of bullying
(determination whose occipital pupils

coalescing into searing
grape nut size wrath poisonous daggers)
forcibly silencing any jeers
when necessary plagiarizing neo **** playbook -
with trophy wife eliciting "who cares"
attitude closing in on pinteresting
for United States chess board foursquare,
which deliberate intent
to foment n wrought prostrate -
music to those hoteliers billion dollar ears

sans defeated apprenticing contestants
hearing sobbing tears
with vitriolic violent bilious
inducing jabs of his will full brittle spears
reputations of personalities
(men and women politicians
his especial flavor of scathing,
scandalous, scabrous sordidness

spewed squeamishly to grab
by the figurative crotch
(ala Michael Jackson)
the hello kitty 2016 presidential election),
whether liberal, conservative,
heterosexual or queers
thus tis find this muddling middle-aged mwm
abject psychic fractal shears.

The following poetic addendum composed way buff fore this (in my mind) atrocious, cretaceous, enormous, ferocious, garrulous, hellacious, indecorous, malicious nemesis, pernicious, querulous, rapacious, specious, tedious, unrighteous, vicious, dangerous demon must BE STOPPED IN HIS TRACKS ASAP!

DONALD TRUMP – RE: DUCKS --
this portion dashed off
(while driving an open white hearse slay
so many months back before sale him
slotted the most coveted
Casino biggest win -
before the political imbroglio
much more upsetting than today

Axe the old don
A trump peter n piper
of incredulous hellish crud - be gone
With the ha airbrushed pompous ****
so the Macy jackal hound doth run
After public outcry yelps
for his hide and proletarian discord won.

Donald Duck Trump ™!$ - a pompous ***
makes war with his big brass
knuckles and bucket of crass
maligns vis a vis character assassination
with soundcloud of broken glass
inciting banal deathly
hallowed expletives toward lass
sees – especially Fox Television
news anchor woman Megyn Kelly
inducing said personality

to bear the brunt of brutish mass
of vitriolic n vile insults
from incriminating verbal pass
so…ex post facto
viz mine NO VOTE from me
thus this digital screed to disallow him
to accept the oath of office,
cuz he will hurrahs
from such a snooty arrogant
simian with sass.

I van a try to describe while sitting on me ****
How he oh bomb in lee rages with gnashing teeth
while back a slump
blasting Democratic nomination as a sham –
from special interest bro and sis turn pump
he, the epitomy of crass bloviation,
a malignant lump
whose rants sans presidential outcome
a sham rocking red bull
in a China shop with his millions beds this,

that and another woman to ******* jump
disseminating gene pool –
Obama null lee birthing
more quackers and additionally doth ****
the mass media as some foolhardy charade
and caricature of a frazzled grump
this arboreal clothed ape
erecting taj mahal ******* symbol
where players dump
and gamble away hard earn cash

for his (hmm... mew zing) hello kitty,
as if that cachet to grind and bump
lambasting with that maniacal leering pout
while hair *** runs rampant with red bulls
in a china shop atop his bulbous aerosol
sprayed heady measly shaped
ulterior motive aimed his sights
to become pastor of muppets
dis eased cranial hologram
of a cretaceous, facetious and insidious mump.

By: Baron Von Ivan Mal N. Ya.

One need not be David Copperfield,
nor a card shark/sharp, scrutinizing
random display codified
computer algorithm doth yield.

The chance to "win"
may appear tubby zero
analogous finding a diamond
in the rough, even
with help of
a heartfelt superhero

nonetheless toil away, asper
setting suitable ***** work,
and **** sombrero
just so to avoid,
the virtual sun
shining in eyes, and affect

a fin guard hand sum
swagger that Cicero,
would be fain to boast
whereat sportsman/
woman ship touted
from one coast

to another for playing
fair and square
as with a ghost,
but essentially nobody,
but yourself dost host,
which one person team,

(thou self) essentially most
ideal match, when testing layout
random shuffle computer
program did post,
and no matter experiencing
cerebral neurons sizzling
like fifty shades plus

of gray matter roast
ting like chestnuts
on an open fire
envision accolades huzzahs,
and special toast

ye give yourself,
no matter stiff odds
stacked against thee,
and feel a bit whooshy
washy outsmarting the

game coder despite yar *****
feeling comfortably numb,
with tingling sensation,
no matter squishy
tissue being pinched with

all out effort of most pushy
fan (again your sole self),
who succeeds as best
groupie getting mushy
timidly asking yourself

for an autograph,
and lastly taking a selfie
posing incognito with a
note tory us whig  
outlandishly bushy.

Being A Nonpartisan Author

One path of literary renown striving
     to craft belles lettres
     versus another aim
ming to inject castigation,

     fulmination, and intimidation
     (unlike tours truly) into
     hers/his epistemological dogmatic claim,
would exemplify the twofold tactic,

     I matter of factly exclaim
as an aspiring August author
     (foremost poet emeritus - ha),
     downplaying fortune and fame

     aye attempt to tread within
     figurative noncontroversial guidelines,
     yet nonetheless game
increased readership remaining

     safely shy of steering
     clear away NOT deliberately inflame
ming the moral majority, and/or
     being soak halled politically incorrect,

yet absolutely aware trite neutral,
     tis well nigh impossible
     towing thru tranquil waters
     subsequently inadvertently pitching

     smoldering embers sparking acquiring
     (even accidentally)
     fiery Machiavellian jobname
though methinks expressing

     notions, opinions, perspectives,
     would contradict advocating viewpoints
     incumbent within
     creative arts whereat lame

duck role would essentially be
     antithetical to general rubric maim
ming necessity to stoke thought
     provoking oeuvre of work name
lee poetry and/or prose sans,

     this scrivener to (dirt) poor
     to afford a penname
aspiring all the same
to experience even pocket change
     keeping my liberal
     minded material tame.

My never ending
     search for whatever
     this psychologically gout
riddled rhyme stir to
     write (a poem) about
found me figuratively
     staring at a theme without doubt
devoid of any "FAKE"

     trumping controversial clout,
which subject came in route
tummy mind questioned NOT
     explicitly broadcasting best related
     most definitely not
     apropos to flout
the sensitivity and personal
     privacy respectfully tendered

     obeyed, and invoked, not to tout
yet an impression can nonetheless
     this versatile scout
felt motivated be shared with you
a general over view
the therapist averred thru
the title of this poem, she who
doth "actively listen" pertaining,

     asper emotional issues that stew
within the psyche, thus
     appreciation as I gentile lee
     talked non Jew
bull leant lee of foregone
     opportunities till rue
men hating lost chunks of
     mine formative years

     witnessed self deprivation
     (usurped, sponged, and  bobbed
     entire memory queue)
of ordinary healthy
     development of body,
     mind, and soul casting
     more'n fifty shades
     of a grayish hue

my psychological landscape,
     where at puberty -
     anorexia nervosa (minus bulimia
     squarely took root grew)
wing essential nadir existence,
     thy emaciated condition drew,
     sans Matthew Scott Harris
who recognizes aversion

     to grow into manhood blew
away so many necessary figurative
     stepping stones permanent
     stilted impact didst accrue,
and merely hearing my recitation
     of plaintive glue
me emotional reverberations,
     now overlain by many

     a displeasing faux pas,
     and metaphorical boo boo
     actions as a father
     affecting mindscape
     of near grown daughters the "ear"
     of assigned therapist
     appreciation doth issue.

(alternately titled: a retrospective review
randomly selecting an outdated poem
stored within Apple icloud queue
methinks ye might might savor preview

regarding general overview
how yours truly dabbled
with words where new
sense even then gushed
oot noggin o' Matthew

Scott Harris foretold loo
*** poetic shenanigans merely foreplay
teasing double entendres I knew
would brand me as a Jew
pitter naiveté and innocence
accorded an ingénue
disguised by a colorful hue
man punster mocker cuckoo.

Tryouts starring musical prodigies
and/or an attendant conductor
attempt to approach ambient chorus
divinely exhibited from Gaia's handiwork
heavenly invoking kapellmeister
magnificent nonchalant outlook
piquantly, quintessentially,
repertoire sensately striking

unmatched vast wisdom yielding,
zephyr air albeit creativity
engineered from groundswell harmony
juxtaposed, kindled, linkedin,
manifesting noteworthy opulent
philharmonic recording
transcribing universal veritable
webbed wide world.

Wunderkinds yield Ziggurat
acme approximated asymptote
bequeathing celestial
Doppelganger Earthly emulations

formulating fractal glinting highlighting
ineffable joie de vivre jostling, keen kindling,
la la land legerdemain lifting logic
lording Ludwig (Josef Johann) Wittgenstein.

Yelping zoological apostle
Al (affidavit) Gore handily
heaping hubristically invocation
jolting kickstart measures
nipping nixed noblesse oblige opera
quickening quotidian rapid

ruination sans supreme
teetering upended venerated wise with acumen
arithmetical Benoit Mandelbrot
chasing far-fetched ideas
lightyears menacing existential nihilism
purging ogres opportunistically

resplendently ripping revered
tankard tipping unstoppably
vanquishing varietal whipsawing
wonderful wrapt yawning  youngsters
warfare written wrought  
yanking zestfully crushing environmental family

granting Herculean instant karma
malevolent, opprobrious pronouncement
quiet riot silencing severely
tragic ubiquitous vicious wreckage
yikyaks apemen cleft Earth.

Future foragers denounce
capitalistic bamboozlers aggression
zealots wrought trashing quintessential
naked kingdoms issue
flotsam coagulates zonal wastelands
torquing quality NON
killing habitats Earth bleached
yellowed voodoo ruins.

(not really, but just wanted
to get your attention.)

Thus "NOT FAKE," but
poetic quasi true anecdote
infused fictionalized
by this ole goat
with prevarication
to enliven of no note
characteristic, and certainly
not worth quote

ting - for any future
reference material, imp poet
tent to sketch a biography
of one otherwise tote
tem **** drab existence,
     that happens
moost would vote
as exhibiting blank pages,

     which means no ghost
for me life story needed since
     no words needing tubby wrote.
thus the crux of foraging
     into how the missus
snorts in her sonorous way
the one repetitive sleepy tune,

that doth not
warrant a veejay,
nor and thespian to reenact
     a zonked out spouse from

exercising at the
Y.M.C.A. today,
but each increment of time
     imposes additional wear
     and tear on the body electric,
     thus no place...(except...
Swiss Side or
Willoughby), to runaway

from senescence process
so one must savor
     to the maximum propinquity
of each moment
analogous as if one received
money for their
existence as being payday
before day of reckoning,

     which could occur any
minute, hour, second...
with no noway
opportune time will
provide any leeway,
especially for those
ping folks immediately
at ground zero, where

     husband or wife
     kept awake from partner
     mercilessly growling drones
hell bent on then simply jay

ping, when agent provocateur
awakens only to find
     themselves bound and gagged
unable to attend the
Scottish celebration of hogmanay.

(while trapped in Pottstown
Memorial Hospital parking lot).

My humble apology to those,
who posted uber up lyft ting messages
to this Macbook Pro Facebook keeper,
without said scrivener swiftly
tailoring timely acknowledgement
from one harried styled leaper,

thus feel free to take
leguminous litigious licorice flavor
flav can deed extra-legal
imprisonment against my liberty,
(though catty, I am pusillanimous,
sans feline nine lives cheaper

by the dozen), plus verbally *******
out gee golly jeeper,
or more pointedly
calling me a mother f** bleeper,
for seeming to appear unresponsive
as a stale petrified marshmallow peeper,

and yes quite understandable
bitcoin torrents of rage runs deeper
than a blockchain though close call,
yet just lemme explain,
how during my most recent sleeper
state, a clear as bell curve

living dream nearly
saddened Matthew Scott Harris as,
cuz he got subject to grim news, viz
inducing him (yours truly) to become
deceased within a split second,
upon dropping to sleep

while all around, an
inconsolable weeper
wept sorrowful seas,
more so those family,
and facebook friends
many fine companions

linkedin thru Internet
invaluable cherished persons as keeper,
but believe this secular humanist,
he, who (honest to dog)
unexpectedly subsequently got engrossed
with the grim reaper,

discussing local, current (national), global,
and cosmic events, superficial,
and/or somewhat deeper
(topics oh...and as a non sequitur
d'ya know the name of original
Glen Elm occupants are named Leiper),

anyway Xmas universally
renowned throughout space
yes, jolly saint nick with his farout trappings
topped off with electronic digital beeper,
yepper siree he gets touted,
lauded, and celebrated be

leave ving with whatever
dogmatic faith hen knee
dear rabbit reddit reader doth embrace,
or perhaps being atheist like me,
(albeit I most likely appear
as somewhat highlee

beatle browed from across the universe),
nonetheless, whether er rather,
when still alive this chap aimed to - dee
light, enlighten, and playfully
frighten alien nations

(even those pizza peace loving
inhabitants resembling free
ranging gregarious teenage
ninja mutant turtles)
coming out their shells with glee.

Axed dent of circumstances
finds yours truly liberated,
whereby no obligatory constraints
obliges forcible adherence
synchronizing Circadian rhythm

forcibly linkedin within paradigm
minutely crafting, daisy chaining
involuntarily ceding cradle to grave
man made artificial construct
(dismissing one living away

off the gridlock)
co-opting every precious moment
comprising hour quotidian existence
to sustain swiftly styled
harry tailored lifestyle

affording bajillion **** sapiens
luxury to scold frantic scramble,
freedom to scurry frantically
twenty four seven madcap rat race
formerly existing (millenniums ago)

as "noble savage"
ah...remember those glory days
now, grudgingly,
niggardly... unwittingly
compromising pleasant dreams

jarring deeply slumbering
body electric groggily awake
liberty, courtesy alarming wake up
to toil away making dem
big dearly beloved bucks

essentially entering holy grail
searching made more worthwhile
thankless fracas, fray, fraught
pitting one beasty boy against t'other
survival of fittest in overdrive

(Charles Darwin taken aback),
how origin of most ruthless species
went a courtin for dazzling,
jazzy, regal trappings
supposedly to ease

grueling laboring mind numbing
lumpenproletariat, when after
devoting, sacrificing, venerating...
prime mating years
take respite, and

hire oneself out
as independent contractor,
versus sedately pathetic mundane...
you bet your life
in relation to this
self ostracized scrivener.

Aha - argh... oh my dog...
don't mind me muttering, eh?

Earlier today (May 5th, 2020),
I forget thee exact hour
found me utterly beside mice elf,
matter of fact even at this moment,
yours truly doth feel mad at himself
cuz Aldi's merchandise (mostly food)
needed to be restored to their proper shelf.

Upon further contemplation
me thought quite futile
and pointless to expend energy subsequently nill...
best swallow figurative bitter pill
and maximize opportunity to take quill

in an effort to salvage sanity lest poetaster
schrieks with voice noticeably shrill,
thus if curious to discover visa vis
motive poem got crafted read further if ye will.

Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) card, i.e.
formerly known as food stamps
I never secured into wallet for safe keeping,
mine minor ohm my dog oversight surged thru me
(as if charged with a bajillion amps),

said aforementioned revelation occurred
while standing in a long line at Aldi's
attested whereby other patrons stood
pipsqueaks in tandem with their gramps
which snaked all the way to "5th and Japip."

Pointless regarding yours truly,
ordinarily insightful and adept
(in short, a generic and garden variety
local ******) who schlepped
courtesy rubber express
(think shoe leather) - except
sneakers adorned little (mine) feet
thus imagine hypothetical inept

hobo or ***** his bindle
slung over shoulder
traversing countless miles,
cuz an odometer he (I) kept
indicated staggering and sprawling distance,
sometimes on all fours (faux pas) he crept
hence no way would exhausting effort
be made for nought.

Riches to rags summarizes bio in short
former spendthrift and prodigal son
with lip service paid toward quaffing port,
whence reduced to penury, a courtship wasted
mein kampf of pennilessness insync with sport
despite feted happy occasion,
I discreetly did cavort
unbridled shenanigans bedding young nymphs

entailed minimal effort,
when lavish catered affair slated to celebrate
one lovely slip of a lass,
she (no rookie) beguiled
stealthily intended marriage to abort,
nonetheless gaining handsome dowery
with quintessential private escort.

We both acquired deserved comeuppance
therefore allowing, enabling and providing
me opportunity to attend contra dance
by going stag
wowed by gamut of coeds

moost who with subtle nonverbal cues did entrance
oft times imagining traipsing across France
courtesans attending every private need
ah... so much for castles in the sky
invisibly concocted via
strong swooshing dominant arm with lance.

In reality scratching out what began as prime
motive to detail forgetting ebt card
intending poem to communicate
spending more',n dime
times one hundred

hemorrhaging checking account
as momentary lapse of reason with rhyme
as often occurs time and again
poem takes fabulous convolutions
squeezed like figurative lemon going from
ridiculous to the sublime.

(near microscopic totally tubular proboscis
gave one local ******, a ****** respite this
summer, hence....aye goot good wry min
reason tubby a tuneful hummer.)

No sooner than getting
     weltanschauung after getting bit
from female blood-******* insect,
(which critters actually
     considered little lord of the flies
comprise family culicidae)
a most amazing
     extraordinaire inoculated me

with short lived surprise talent,
which got this
     American male infected
with three hundred seconds
     of super human impeccable skill
short-lived feat found
     body, mind or spirit
capable to transcend natural

limits of  usual abilities,  
     infusing this ordinary guy
with an unpredictable
supreme titillating, stupefying,
     resounding, hair-raising, glorifying,
fleeting, entertaining,
     daunting, catapulting, bedazzling,
amazing stints possessing,

     thy being from invisible source
thence when expending said
     burst of tremendous spurt,
per awesome bout of mental,
     physical or spiritual bags of tricks
eclipsing mortal prowess
     with stratospheric wow
     fear less factor

ultimate fatigue found
     this bloke supine
and unable to summon forth
     one iota of strength.

Absolute zero escape
velocity guts dance
sing days (contra and square),
cuz metabolic full abundance
abdominal adipose tissue acceptance
not in accordance

with light as a feather
miss lost acquaintance
the boy within forced admittance
as sure man tanks of fat did advance
shotgun marriage demanded allegiance
to pledge lifetime alliance

no room for allowance
crushing lightness of being ambiance
nor allies to help me combat
battle fatigue require
ring superman endurance
to muster strength

to stand ***** else ambulance
will whisk away husky
embarrassing appearance
loose fitting clothing
jelly roll appurtenance
overnight digital readout,

asper body mass index
scaled quick ascendance,
thus when showering,
I look askance
fearing bulging balloon
will necessitate assistance

else... diet of worms
as only assurance
safeguarding body electric
against hecklers at open casket
no matter, a small perchance
crowd in attendance
yea... eventual cremation

after life only fat chance
to alleviate present circumstance
heavy matter fails security clearance
the price for astute cognizance
weak willpower alighting countenance
esse pie ying sweet treats

now measures taken to counterbalance
to fight temptation and dalliance
overruling feasting craving delectation
to restore trim deliverance
love handles around equator
no magician can render disappearance

yes the discontinuance
of just dessert must maintain distance
without being weighed
down with disturbance
by heaviest haunch
ain't no elegance

lugging extra encumbrance
when throughout my early life,
skinny, yet able to steel glance
mirrored reflection now grievance,
where wistful memory
ha...ironic insouciance

more so than
today finds intolerance,
thus woebegone issuance
thorn in muss hide
to experience jubilance
hmm...maybe a strong

arm can lance
excess flab quite a nuisance
to defy gravity, why penance
sans unsightly paunch
yours truly laments skin
tight fit, thus petulance

lame excuse unwanted protuberance
necessitates dedicated pursuance
recollection of washboard
abdomen impossible, yes
nothing accomplished by remonstrance!

(a bridged - o'er troll bar water version)

All la names bespeaking deity froom
     Noah Mo' Room India Arc
     of Covenant to Blood
     (sweat and tears) of
     San Gennaro devout wowed,
and/or Turin shroud
consonantly demonstrably,
     desperately, faintly, glumly

     yet plaintively, muttered aloud,
no evading the steadily avowed
Atheist approaching funnel
     (dum mental) stormy cloud,
cuz far as the eye could see -
     at least by this Beatle browed
     bipedal hominid (north, south,
     east, and west),

     the conical, demoniacal,
     and elliptical endowed
sky high reversed cone, bow wowed
wailing 10,000 maniacs +
     same number of banshees
     wove weft and white
     across wide whirled web
     whereat, the black vortex

     vacuumed everything
     in sight (chowed
down) with loud violent row
dee earsplitting sound everything
     within a vast path got plowed
obliterated, and annihilated proud
lee into bajillion smithereens,
     hence mine entire being

     held spellbindingly agog
frozen in place ruff akin
     to well trained dog
without a chance to bark a blo
mired stock still courtesy, sans
     extreme fear comp
     pounded (zero apr) via
     quintessential supreme tear

     roar immovable paralysis
     plus helpless as pollywog
lacking seizure of critical
     whatsapp cerebral cog
as if blinded by a mental fog,
cuz nothing withstood
     the incalculable suction
     emitting barrage of sounds -

     hmm...methinks or imagined,
     I heard cry of a hog
amidst the pandemonium,
     plus uproarious, ominous,
     and insidious howl,
though still some
     scant miles removed,
the deafening roar

     felt like top of my head
     blasted unable to jog
free (like a bajillion trained
     thundering monsters at log
er heads) these screaming
     quasi nemesis seemingly
     horrifically, and directly
     into my tender ears.

Prior to the morning
of August 15th, 2019
this joker riddled and
judiciously punched with anxiety
approximately couple weeks earlier
prophetic notification

courtesy public assistance office
Norristown, Pennsylvania
wrought psyche asunder
worse news than plagued
with most pernicious disease
slack jawed rendered me

speechless, and breathless
jobless since...forever
debilitating social anxiety,
plus disabling panic attacks,
an unprovable conjecture
neurological behavioral malady

possibly evident in utero,
if fetal ultrasounds widespread
or hollow needle inserted
into the ******
sampling amniotic fluid
luck of the draw

ex post facto
accentuated, kickstarted,
under_scored...
extreme tightly coiled tension
evident when ambulatory
evinced frequent rigidity

regarding physical movement
whereby boyhood self
tumbled down stairs
(this based on
anecdotal information),
yet earliest physiological

recollections bring to mind
never feeling relaxed poise
most always stiff movements
affected ****** actions
only as young adult
after experiencing

prolonged social withdrawal
friendlessness, emotional
detachment among family of origin
crippling bouts of
vertigo, racing heart
profuse perspiration

nausea... ad nauseum
eligibility qualified me
to receive social security disability
a congenital trait, I loathe
now more than ever
yes, blessedly grateful

to receive Medicare,
which status evaluated every year
mainly predicated on
increased finances, a
greater chance,
I get struck by lightning
versus garnering monetary windfall.

and found (me) zee papa pooped out

**** eyes zing thee
nightly dump for yesterday
July 8th, 2020 - whereby
plunger helped obstruction give way
I nearly lost me life and limb oy vey

oh my dog, the same asinine outcome
which spurred poet to get underway
matter of fact, a replay
of excretion almost occurred today
and thus an attempt to describe

a tragicomic scenario
regarding bowel movement size of subway
overflowing ***** nearly
found yours truly quay
king, yet impossible mission

arises to portray
unsightly situation, the
juvenile elements of style
I hate to overplay
odoriferous subject matter

nsync with constipation
since laxative delineates,
expedites, facilitates,... née
posits heavy load emanating out ******
quite amazing what smelly waste
exits out me

necessitating captain my captain
to signal mayday
posterior end, a dime size orifice,
which malfunctioning sphincter muscles
one moost never be lackaday

'though kids and adults
laughed back in the day,
if and/or when Danny Kaye
tactfully poked fun
at such critical ****** phenomenon

equally important as a jackstay
to keep afloat body electric
'curse with auxiliary
linkedin kickstarting jazzmatazz interplay
analogously precise as

Swiss made timepiece
said system responsible
to expel ****** toxins
upon which sitting on porcelain throne
one can softly utter hooray

thankful to experience relative pleasure
until one becomes feeble minded,
whereat fifty plus shades of gray
matter allows, enables, and
provides enjoyably foray

into the bathroom, which entranceway
hoop fully not barred nor off limits
cuz that primitive urge one best not delay
lest one requires lower
gastrointestinal intervention

especially if blocked up
***** matter turns to clay
unless of course one doth
cause damage and betray
respect toward well
oiled human machine

exercising and eating healthy
avoiding backside skeleton musculature issues
yes... I reckon during twilight years
control over bowels doth slip away.

The latest homicide,
where gunman(men) slew
***** deed done dirt cheap
half dozen innocent people drew
minimal horrific gasps, now a new
month (September two
thousand nineteen)

where goldenrods yellow
with morning dew
encompassing human zoo
welcomes unsuspecting killer(s) true
to form - predictably
will undertake to fire bullet(s)
setting calibrating counting queue

as month nine allows brisk business
bereaved will final adieu,
whether gentile nor Jew,
perhaps including
child named Caillou
instantaneously slain, who
knew

not what felled them
engrossed amidst social ballyhoo
ex post facto registering grievous hue
pallbearers accentuating somber view
eclipsing most recent prior massacres
similar to previous you
ululations yesterday's sorrows

without handy dandy blue's clue
motive explaining
cold blooded slaughter
unsurprising discovery
firearms Jane/ John Q.
Public kept stashed loaded, deployed...
guns up the kazoo

cocked, gauged, primed...
for unleaded opportunity
to unleash barrage
invariable generating hullabaloo
to curb ****** violence
trumpeting predictable brew
ha ha alloyed against National

Rifle Association almighty
Republican supported lobbyist crew
versus increased uproar
protesters chorus nearly few
tile opposition pitted grand Poobah
despite alarming statistics shew
plus increasing fresh gravesites dug

amidst freshly mowed fescue
attesting to wanton shell shocked
headlines indiscriminate brew
tilly assaulting sensibilities
without rhyme nor reason
yet, yours truly doth boo
leave rampant hatred

directly linkedin to
"FAKE" commander in chief
whose rabid vitriol hue
man fountainhead few
ming and frothing
lathers up right wing supremacists
greenlighting smoldering new

bile radicals hot headed
volatile mindset whereby
self anointed anarchistic Guru
possibly fuels global warming
evidenced by displaced Eskimos
flooding courtesy melting igloo!

Lunar radiance this small hour
June fifteenth thousand and nineteen
(very early morning errand
to fuel 2009 Hyundai Sonata)
at Zieglerville, Pennsylvania Wawa
found gaze tugged toward

infinite celestial vault
luminous neon phosphorescent
quintessentially, punctually, outlandishly...
radiating, scintillating, treasuring
untold vast wonderment
since time immemorial

tremendous headlong rush
remembrance many moons ago
guiding yours truly
along beribboned multi use path
said bright discobolus lunar object
casting rooted silhouettes

courtesy Gaia illuminating
terrestrial dark shadows
ambling, gallivanting, traversing...
long ago trod terrain,
where George Washington headquartered
particularly during severe

winter of 1777-1778
encamped with restless
weary Revolutionary soldiers
subjected against
punishing great travail
for the American army

cursing, inditing nonchalant
mother nature regarding trial
stronger words than
"shivering me timbers"
within crudely built huts
quite inviting to this Earthling

refreshing to slumber
those brisk summer forays
me totally oblivious
versus endangerment
to mine welfare,
quite the contrary
relishing feeling protected

cocooned because absence
of madding throngs, viz
crowd sourced tourists
safe and sound within
respective hearth and home
solitariness analogous to

return of native son
imagining journeying far and wide
sensing rustling patriots ghosts
catching sight, yet unseen

screened by dense foliage
bedraggled troops ghosts
glimpsed while entering...
the twilight zone.

Nonetheless suicidal ideations severely
whipsaw punctuate, lacerate, assassinate
frescoed fiasco failure grimly livingsocial
ah...that dull cutlery eyed with temptation
one painful ****** hemorrhaging, whereby
carpeting permanently stained blood red,

(security deposit forsaken) cremation ought
not outrageously expensive, I subsequently
chickened out imposing eternity of fire and
brimstone self condemnation, denunciation,
excoriation gently tested as serrated knife
made contact against flesh of left arm..., no

strength prevails this Father's Day 2019
beset with gravity of black hole son wracked
fiasco frescoed across psyche adrip with
bajillion pearl jammed tears aghast at blank
tabula rasa with few hashtag marks evincing
feeble effort contrasted with abundant

adventure awaiting eldest daughter agog
at countless opportunities availed since...
her birth, when she exhibited above
average intelligence made bee line high
school International Baccalaureate program
(at Lower Merion) testament, asper flying

colors one keystone linkedin destiny toward
eventual linchpin, viz IVY League University
(handsome financial aid package allotted),
plus exemplary academic job well done, now
finds blessed progeny enroute to west coast
(sharing pricey apartment with emma man hint

beau), whereat this papa overjoyed at bountiful,
delightful, faithful indomitable laudable
achievement starkly aware how bleak and
forlorn hogtied hobbled horrid mine existence
never knowing "seat of spongebob squarepants"
experience analogous to rite of passage gaining

positive result regarding electric kool aid battery
operated litmus test forging steely mettle
comprising organic entity NON GMO, nor gluten
free genetic gifted body, mind, and spirit attaining
inherent maximization allowing, enabling and

providing decades to acquire financial means
to enjoy relative versus countless squandered
prospects yours truly (me) neglected to cultivate
leaving barren an existence not worth trumpeting!

here I sit wondering aboot what yorn
reaction will be
similar to mice elf, wrought n fused
within microscopic cast iron crucible -
genetic dna spinning along chromosomal nearly invisible axle
describing vaguely shaped rose tarnished gun metal n worn
off limits by the gun metal thorn
until trust grows even if chance of adultery
germinates a field of aching scorn
n sunny friendship illuminating some future morn
whereby in bliss we doze while asleep
   lightly snoring like a piping  horn
swell outcome viz 9 months later plump n juicy like a corn
cob, a baby like this grown LVIII macbook user will be born
subject to the dictate of fate the trappings of wealth
whether he/she struggles hardscrabble penury
or wealth will adorn.

as per the case with me in utero of thy long deceased mum
sprung from tender ***** with joie de vivre she - did hum
Arthur Murray Ballroom Instructor - whose heart fluttered like a drum
cuz, twas love at first sight -
drawn tummy handsome dad - a Columbia University alum
who didst beget me:
-------------------------------------------------------------­----------
a cerebral being
this ordinary human, who finds himself a mystery
within the terrestrial firmament and frequently
feels in a feverish pitch at his existence, that seers the temple
mounted upon this some what slender frame - wrought by
combination of genetics in tandem with exercise
which latter helps to sublimate the coiled
tension wound tightly like an indestructible
spring without healthy medium to channel emotions fraught within me
might find demise, that would rent asunder literate fellow
and annihilate with no trace, one true valued father of two special
lovely teenage near grown lasses as just another statistic among obituaries.

The glory of America,
now heats up
with agitation poised
to strike on the brink
sans legislation incites humiliation,
which goads desecration

as fete accompli *****
in armor of Democratic rubric,
constituting capitalistic
ethic, generic iconoclastic,
and jingoistic logic,
nor budging an inch

when mandating masses
swallow his drink
what huff huck –
this belligerent, dominant and
fervent hellraiser doth
bungle in the jungle

decreeing tacit Marshall law
fast as a shutterfly eyewink
as his cosmic crotch grab
doth put Venus under his sway
with his Mercury hill temperament
pitches the orbit of planet Earth

tubby comb out of balance
infected by hiz anti Jew pitter
damnations, excoriations, fulminations
Huzzah sing how **** derriere
didst Sat urn simultaneously
crushing crucible as an Uranus

indiscriminately plopping
two hundred fifty pounds of flesh
doubling down humming
his favorite Neptune
that dost affect Pluto hoc crass sea
repeating a self coined motto –

I yam almighty, therefore no fink
simply commandeering the reins of control,
a one man military intelligence groupthink
hut triad and true dyed in the wool
rip pug in ant guise zing rogue
rejoicing tuff fool, governing and hoodwink

king the die hard fans of dictatorial,
linkedin and monarchist ink
cube bus thriving on
wielding indomitable aggression
practiced in the Art of the Deal
incorporating an unanticipated jink

iron fist rule reigning down
vis a vis pro pens heave lee
and prop hen city
flashing hiz seal of approval,
which scribbled signature
doth not smooth monkey

serve hay puzzling kink
boot his frenzy to bulldoze
catastrophic, formulaic, and illogic
spells these United States
of America will become hell
in a handbasket worth repeating

with nary a trace of the grit of link
kin, the sixteenth president,
(whose ruggedly pioneering frontier existence)
found him steady and strong,
plus soft hearted as pelt o’ mink
the epitome of this forty fifth
elected commander in mischief.

No matter communication
betwixt us askew,
spontaneity explains reason I dashed
off this poem for thee and thy beau
pattern ally conscious at obvious clue,

how overjoyed, (though a
self subdued exclude did dude) due
tuff fully feels beholden to
toil let past hateful indiscretions
jackknifing kindred luck,

and quite convenient
for me to eschew
avoidance behaviour (my specialty) etu
Brutus tangled with Popeye ignoring
sailor man turned beastie boy, no foo-

ling, sans spinach (spin age) of my boyhood
fighter, aye linkedin hearty genuine parental
affection culled forth
since your joyous birth,
ah how the years flew

and fierce determination grew
a strong vibrant young lady,
with BOTH brains and brawn, a hue
man... er woman, whose
heart could melt an igloo,

thus thy motive of this
very reformed gentile Jew
nary a whit of genealogy I learned,
hence this schlemiel lets
out eclectic Kathmandu

gestalt steeped, not the
least familiar about Semitic customs,
smidgen much less
than mine parents knew,
which deems yours truly **** eye loo

we, perhaps this poem
not very a moo
zing to ye, yet
an extemporaneous whim
kindled this papa to write,

especially, when mother came home
exhausted, yet alight
with bubbling ebullience
at dazzling bright
unbridled vibrant warm

yawping zealous delight
displayed between thee,
our eldest daughter,
she (mother) burst with excite
ability, her frothing, gurgling,

and harboring flight
of fancy, thee, and respectable
gentleman from Puerto Rico
fit like a hand glove - and also

approximately the same height
no deterrent for me to gauge insight
and reckon both perfect
as day and knight!