harangue since landing
yours truly immersed
in a dream-like
fiercesome state of war,  
not quite a dream
can be described
as a "hypnagogic state"
while virtually in Singapore,

where Katy Perry
namesake of a lion doth roar
noise amplified courtesy dissonance
while nine inch nails synthesize
scraping across chalk board
evoking discordant soundcloud
foo fighting beastie boys
comprising a quatuor.

Socked away within
cerebral nooks and crannies
house mailer daemons
inconveniencing yours truly
i.e. an Indus das scribe
hub bull mendicant
bullying jimmying,
jump starting, joy riding
junket at breakneck speed
disregarding dangerous signposts

warning reckless (heedless) highjackers
speeding stolen heavily
sedated body (mine)
slap happily, obliviously,
jauntily (devil may
care attitude) careering
across rubble strewn
bombed out stone age terrain
gunning engine like
there's no tomorrow

zipping past crumpled
suspended abridged abutment
jarring sole abducted,
bound and gagged one ***** (me)
hurling over edge of cliff
temporarily free of gravity,
(albeit an infinitesimal eye blink)
between life and death
rapidly descending in accordance
with laws of physics,

when suddenly motion stops
as if thee Earth stood still
freezing all life forms
held as if invisibly tethered,
when ghostly debut appearance
courtesy Rod Serling
rattles of his trademark narration
"...fifth dimension beyond
that which is known to man.

...This is the dimension of imagination."
I resort to aforementioned loose analogy
to approximate mental state of limbo,
asper...this man falling to Earth
minus parachute on par
with crash test dummy
an absent firmament
to feel securely grounded
held stock still,

when moments before plunging
pitched head over heels...
only to find this mortal,
either entering or exiting
somnambulant state
only groggily awaking
out of deep sleep
falling out of bed
singing hup bout poor lovely bones.

Though written three hundred
and sixty five days ago,
the following poetic commemoration
doth not warrant any modification.

Said prolific author born February 7, 1812,
whose living descendents
I would be thrilled to befriend,
hence if anonymous reader
by some genetic fluke
linkedin to said
prolific storied author
please kindly reciprocate.

greetings mutual friend,
hard times dash
great expectations in this bleak house,
whereby battle of life ensues
when Sunday chimes
from master humphrey’s clock
issue somber american notes
invoking overshadowing doom
from young gentlemen:
oliver twist, nicholas nickleby, barnaby rudge
martin chuzzlewit, david copperfield,

young cricket and on the hearth little dorrit
collaborated on pickwick papers
with dombey and son detailing
how I (a haunted man/
ghost’s bargain) alias mudfog
got self absorbed in his old curiosity shop
hunted down by boyhood days
(akin to an endless Christmas carol
frieze as child’s history),
now a thick dust covered holiday romance
memory portraying this signal-man

(according to george silverman’s explanation)
eerily similar to the mystery of edwin drood,
exiled after his trial for ******
birthing three ghost stories
inhabiting a haunted house
affecting the young couples lamplighter
an uncommercial traveler
evidenced by pictures from italy
prone to speeches, sketches
by boz and his lazy tour
an oft repeated tale of two
cities best read at dusk.

of scorpion stinging poison us marriage,
whereby the missus and I
experienced genesis as
mama and papa respectively.

(jest kibitizing)

thus explaining why I
(a sixty five year young adult,
albeit beatle browed)
joined blue oyster cult
to live out my dream as
a Norwegian bachelor farmer
yours truly doth exult.

Without wearing a helm mitt on my head,
yet did suffer inxs
of welts the size of cranberries
amidst talking heads, whose traffic
mishap of cars unable to stp,
thus this passenger indistinguishable from
avast metallica skidrow populated
with heart shaped pearl jam wreckage
upon smashing pumpkins everywhere
with an evanescence shimmering
like spilt midnight oil, which dire straits

charged the super ***** ping
man-made debacle into kiss
from grateful dead village people whose
beatle brows scrunched tight
creating black crows imprimatur
resembling little feet easily mistaken
for hairline fractures,
which strongly appealed
to the goo goo dolls,
who lived three doors down
purportedly within which

resided a queen latifah
(an iron maiden ruling america)
plus when asked for bread, she point
in one direction, mere rolling stones away
the black eyed peas, whose ac/dc power
crowded house did feel
as if 10,000 maniacs
did squeeze into a tine hole,
thus forsaking experiencing nirvana,
with near asphyxiation attributable
to lack of air supply
so carpenters got called

to expand and golong
with a gilt emblazoned cupola –
just for kix, and to lure
any wonder full steve adore,
which teamsters included
skilled one tradesman
roof WinWrite, these collective souls,
a veritable culture club unto themselves
off phish shill lee within the a similar
reo speedwagon as sly and the family stone
choosing king crimson
to manage the influx

qua motley crue, which jane's addiction
kept ideal bad company for alice n chains,
the latter whose enslavement
akin to cinderella deprived such indigo girls
to jet set with their sought after
prince charming (even resigning themselves
to a Jethro tull type), or a chap
similar to the garden variety allman brothers,
who didst serve to Lumineers
doobie brothers morale booster

to an imaginary dragon
(which beastie boy
foo fighting animals owned
by the legendary kings of leon),
whose mythic storied
BuzzFeed  incorporated their encounter
with blondie (who donned a golden earring),
which Dixie chick happened to be hail a van
driven by the everly brothers,
which latter escaped be combing caged
like monkeys in a zoo,

and carved out a niche
as beach boys blessedly banished,
where they fed on red hot chili peppers
dredged via bay city rollers
to sustain their being a survivor,
and welcomed by experiencing rebirth
viz genesis, whar
mambo kings proffered palliative
to smooth kinks concomitant with cast off
as a foreigner on maroon 5.

Zealousness yowled x wise,
venturesomely urged viz thighs
sensuousness roared qua prize of nascent
marvelous libidinal kisses jeweled iridescent
hides genital fulfillment
explodes delicious capacious brides’
atonement breathtakingly conceding conception
decides elopement fashions gustatory hoopla
insides jot kickstarter
latching mightily nourishing oxides
maids visited  unmet
testosterone satiation roared.

Queefer madness puckering of naked missus
(a veritable madonna)
meowed lamentably kindling joyousness indeed.

Hotmail garnered fingerhut egghead
drew capitalone BuzzFeed amen.

Greetings reader from a cross between an aging seventy inch long (ringing ding ****) haired pencil necked geek and a Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe; meaning yours truly actually a virtually married Pennsylvania man, who crossed his sixty fifth year young threshold on January thirteenth 2024, nevertheless despite rancor from the missus who frowns on me favoring female for acquaintanceship/friendship ideally while taking a ride On The Good Ship Lollipop.

if nothing else germinated
adult language affections
inexplicable tummy why
(approximately three quarters
of my lxiv roy hull orbits ago),
I can still vividly recall
names of girls from mud
trickle hull hating as a Methacton
High School graduate,
plus the two semesters completed
at Montgomery County Community College,
which diploma worth less than
the paper certifying completion
of requisite credits.

Unbeknownst tummy if
(Susan Bishop, Cheryl Hahn,
Judy Jacobs, Donna Keckley,
Fay Landis, Sandra Ray,
Julia Ward, and a handful of others)
gleaned any hint that an intense desire
shutter flying within thy solar plexus
to blurt (in a bumbling fashion)
even a feeble hello
dogged each day of classes.

Nothing about this then
awkward, blimey clammy, dorky,
edgy, friggin gawky, *****, ipsy,
jumpy, kooky, loony, moody, nerdy,
okay, plenti quirky, ratty, sulky,
timidly undersized very withdrawn,
xpn yankee Zeusian.

If familiar during my prime numbered days,
with either powder milk biscuits
(which according to Garrison Keillor -
gives shy people the courage
to get up and do ***** deeds
done dirt cheap (in honor
of the late Malcolm Young,
the pulse of AC/DC),
or raw bits, and additionally
adroit crafting, expostulating
gross iniquities keeping maidens
overly questing regarding taming
uber vibrant ***** wonka
your all time cerebrally enlightened,
guy initially kindling manifold
oppressed quaking ****** undulations
wracking yawping aspiring
corpus dictionary epicurean.

Yes, that tis quite a mouthful,
but then this ardent devotee, gamboling
jousting literary nonsensical
philosophical reader, tenderly tinder
verizon wormy yakking arboreal
cloven earmarked, graciously intelligent
kibitzer, modest opportunistic
questioning statecraft,
unpretentiously warbling bupkis.

Though verb boss this poet manque
doth strive tubby re: noun,
or at the least beak comb knighted
among his majesty (HMS) –
cutting (thru the figurative iceberg) crew,
which pronoun smint foments
hostile interjections, whereby
grievance addressed by my
reciting constituent articles comprising
English Language.

As a result of assiduous, copious, exodus,
grammar grappling, inchoate knowledge,
mastery of quirky syntax
underscored unpretentious
versatility with words.

Adverb beal concupiscence endowment
grows ineluctable kickstarting
my obvious quest shunned unfairly
without your adjective choice
entirely granted.

Infinitives key mordant obscures
quasi rhetorician traversing ultimate
vernacular wordsmith zeroing
at becoming catapulted
**** eminently fructified.

Caterwauling causes
champion colleague Collins collision,
collusion, conjunction conspiracy,
demanding expulsion, forthwith
groupie Harris insinuating, juxtaposing,
keeping lowest mediocrity necessitating
one principle question.

Reddit slated tenure unified vicars,
wherein xfinity yielded zing along.

Preface:
On February 4, 1861,
the seven states that had seceded
by this point convened and created
the Confederate States of America
under the leadership of Jefferson Davis.

Just under two months later,
on April 12, 1861, Confederate forces
opened fire on Union-occupied
Fort Sumter off the South Carolina coast.

Starting but not completely reading a book...
tantamount to being sacrilegious,
especially when storied subject matter
deals with heated issue as slavery,
which essentially succinctly describes
war between the states
(purportedly started April 12, 1861 –
and reputedly ended April 9, 1865)
allegedly triggered
at 4:30 ante meridian on April 12, 1861,
when Confederate troops fired
on Fort Sumter
in South Carolina's Charleston Harbor.

Less than 34 hours later,
Union forces surrendered.

Traditionally, this event used to signify
the beginning of the Civil War.

Self imposed onerous obligation
understanding difficult to comprehend
thought provoking printed material
subsequently generated
system of the down overload
mine (myopic) eyes see the words,
but their meaning doth not compute,
especially when an author
chooses to write

in a bewildering, style,
thus "Abort, Retry, Fail?"
(or "Abort, Retry, Ignore?")
an error message
found in DOS operating systems,
which prompts the end-user
for a course of action arises
within sixty plus shades
of gray matter within me mind.

At present my fascination and interest
with American history temporarily appeased,
whence yours truly
envisions himself a Yankee
in the Antebellum North
thirstily drinking information
detailing one figurative chapter
concerning, detailing, giving
The Civil War breadth,
scope, width, et cetera
a narrative spanning
Fort Sumter to Perryville
painstakingly written
by the late Shelby Dade Foote.

An overactive imagination of mine
easily populated with sights, smells, and sounds
linkedin to that rebellion
(as ascribed by Abraham Lincoln)
witnessing the secession
of South Carolina followed
by the secession of six more states—
Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia,
Louisiana, and Texas–
and the threat of secession by four more—
Virginia, Arkansas, Tennessee, and North Carolina.

These eleven states eventually
formed the Confederate States of America.

Though the internecine fighting
weathered the test of eighty seven years
since July 2, 1776, when
the Second Continental Congress,
meeting in Philadelphia,
voted unanimously to declare independence
as the "United States of America".
Two days later, on July 4,
Congress signed the Declaration of Independence.

The Second Continental Congress
not initially formed to declare independence.

****** battlegrounds
minted ******* military men,
which soldiers when not fighting
sang sentimental tunes
about distant love—the popular
“Lorena” and “Aura Lee”
(which in the twentieth century
became “Love Me Tender”)
and “The Yellow Rose of Texas”—
and songs of loss such as
“The Vacant Chair.”

Other tunes commemorated victory—
“Marching Through Georgia”
considered a vibrant evocation of Sherman's ...
March to the Sea.

Some even sprouted from prison life,
such as "*****, *****, *****."

Soldiers marched to the rollicking
“Eatin’ Goober Peas;”
they vented their war-weariness with “Hard Times;
” they sang about their life
in “Tenting Tonight on the Old Camp Ground;
” they were buried to the soulful strains of “Taps,”
written for the dead of both sides
in the Seven Days’ Battles.

When the guns stopped,
the survivors returned
to the haunting notes of
“When Johnny Comes Marching Home.”

Which acknowledgement ought to be year round,
similar to altruistic, humanistic, and philanthropic
unconditional acceptance and respect
crafted with the following words
mostly written January 23rd, 2023,
cuz I, (a sexagenarian married Caucasian male)
get goosebumps when learning
about individuals, (whose skin color
spans the color spectrum)
contributed invaluable positive deeds
(not necessarily done dirt cheap),
yet impacted civilization in general,
and yours truly in particular
being analogously thunderstruck with awe.

more apropos and alternately titled:
praise to thee people
of variegated melanin color,
whose immense understated improvements
and enhancement of webbed wide world
worth more than paltry words
of yours truly can communicate.

Though I yam spud during Caucasian,
tis rightful to honor that most bitter
racist genocidal crime,
nevertheless ovation qua
treated worse than pestilential critter
quintessential significant contribution
vis a vis that doth litter
anonymous multitudinous peoples
many unknown dark skinned souls
bravely fought as non quitter
with melanin so **** sitter
this asthma feeble attempt
made to mind of literate
parent, guardian or sitter
adorn aye rhythmically twitter

to **** Sapiens with Negroid color
(please pardon any unintentional slight)
who, despite being human *******
managed to adorn
worthy contributions to society,
though an American (though not so proud
until death do me part)
and civilization since time immemorial
hence, I wanna pay poetic homage

to persons born
akin to diversity exemplifying gamut
analogous to Indian (Jimmy crack) corn
debased brutally and forlorn
and raised in cornucopia horn
of plenty with rare serf tenderness
whipped by wicked task masters
from the crack of morn,
whipped, pummeled, beaten...
courtesy Jim Crow whose dignity shorn
aye cannot fathom why

a great proportion of humanity
must struggle on scraps of subsistence
viz with fifty plus shades of chocolate
vile shamefully opprobrious sworn
vengeance toward those
via heroic efforts escaped,  
manacled, tortured, et cetera history
as slaves an existence
until...pacified family dislocated
sans rent asunder, ripped and torn.

Once a proud family akin to Brady
bunch, now brutally, nasty
and short lived poorly destitute
(case in point) like Haiti -
once a nation extant with cultural finery
insidiously ***** pink "Lady"
lacerated odiously robbing
unique peoples as owners didst slay
practically naked "Primates"

encaged like wild animals in zoos
culturally robbed while
abhorrently marched in ones and twos
shredded souls without shoes
(analogous to persecuted Jews)
of singular ambition to break shackles
fielding exorbitant dues,
through tightly fused
linkedin manacles to life as they choose.

This just one example of many peoples
UNFAIRLY subjected
to subservience and exempt
from enjoying the fruits of their labor.

January twelfth two thousand and ten
original date a portion
of this communiqué writ then
kept wedged where in no wise
bore visual witness
vis a vis near annihilation and destruction
of African, Haitian,
South American, et cetera nations
whereby countless/ nameless individuals
e’en the strongest Herculean type men
crushed by humungous slabs of

building facades practically
demolishing every creation
since this island settled, which
indigenous tribes sought safety  
in any geologic den
seeking solace and salvation
from wrath of nature
by paying obeisance via oblation
perhaps giving credence to clear water
in tandem with rooster and hen
that laid a golden egg

and chicken thing, especially
as encroaching savages affected violation
particularly when Europeans
foisted forfeiture of land
with primitive implement like pen
no matter that travesty, trickery, mockery,
et cetera wrought humiliation
pleading invaders to forsake
such actions that rent asunder
culture beseeched god when
these hashtagged brutish, nasty

and (shortish) Hobbesian simians
to cease desecration,
yet the peoples of this dominion rose
from the ashes like the phoenix like bird
no mattered genetic pool underwent
white washing from scouring influx
from western thumping proselytizers,
which alien beliefs hard to swallow like curd
basically bribery (with lustrous trinkets)
ah those coveted legal tender
upon emancipation proclamation cessation

to sell men, women and for x amount of bucks
akin to the soundcloud winged fowl clucks
foisted/ forced the unpleasant alternative
(wanton slaughter) to be clearly heard,
yet within the very fiber of tropical
mangrove persons patiently
lined up their ducks
and declared as one of the first
African American peoples
INDEPENDENCE to be the word
whence adulation, elation, inspiration echoing
across ramshackle greensward.

Written roundabout October 31st 2017,
yet nary a handy dandy blue's clue
Jimmy Neutron Spongebob SquarePants
exists about real or imagined
gal in question, and presumed results
regarding the gal in question
acquiring titular role of poetic subject
most likely more than a few
women can lay claim
to being said person re:
goddess of me what dream in question,

but once curiosity took hold
far between once idea
took hold in me noggin
notion became frozen solid
within sixty shades of gray matter
analogous to being
lodged itself an Igloo
for no less than an eternity
linkedin with cryogenic freezing,
which notion prevalent

among the super rich
spending millions of dollars
to procure heated smart toilet,
and additionally, essentially, and ideally
equipping bathroom with golden plated loo
whereby guests needing to relieve themselves
grunt out insync with effe ****
to expel bowel movement
the primal scream aah and ooh
synonymous to giving birth.

Untold females most likely
share same name sake as poem title;
I knew not what to expect
after googling the following namesake
Matthew Scott Harris did a wake
kin me from temporary stupor,
gasping for air as if affixed with a trach
and on a whim thy fingers
flew to keyboard
butta...please dune hot

**** sitter me a rake
or a *** shoveling
unprintable fu*king expleteives,
which would moost deafen net lee
and rightfully tell me
“go jump in a lake”
(an imponderable superior whim)
but tis not for anything to gain
this extemporaneous poem aye make
but more so, this

ordinary garden variety bumpkin
(or pumpkin I transform into
upon eve of Halloween
politically correct)
nay, tis no exterior, interior,
nor ulterior motive this drake
doth quacking, while wading
in the wide webbed whirled
and hoop fully ja refrain
thinking me tubby some flake

yes, a touch of flattery insulated
within thy body electric,
which caw cajun skin color
presents this being opaque
and the purest motive merely
to convey how flattered
this mortal knowing
an anonymous gal
enjoys the material  
which despite what Trump

or his henchmen/women
might have said
“aint what preceded deep fake”
boot real honest to dogness sentiment
that virtually touches me
to the quick and a whim to make
a rhyming poem found impetus
set to express and converse
without any suspicion, paranoia,
or mild headache.

specified such so as to issue a rhyme,
but proceeded as this scribe
didst *** linkedin with the cutting crew,
mow or less feeling grassy us,
yet not the least whirlwind will offset
my b52 coiffed Hair style,
or hirsute shellacked beehive type do
the idler wheel is wiser than the driver
of the ***** and whipping cords
will serve you more than ropes will ever do.

No matter from what literary website,
an unsuspecting reader will accidentally
stumble upon a ewe
fo' mystic impression
wilt shame burr lean ache
shift shape about myself
some accurate ledge
gin dairy cowed horsesense
about me will ensue,
especially if I sheepishly admitted,
this beastie back street

boyz to men iz a genuine foo
fighter toward this former
stone temple pilot, wildly whizzing,
gurgling in age inappropriate burbling,
dribbling, flickr ring for a goo goo
doll to dare buffer end me,
hub bee of piggish,
ham handed, bay kin a poetic slop hoo
might at this juncture
succinctly cease reading

prior to putting
finishing touches on ma igloo,
when the remaining
portion of this dippy goofy,
slippery when whet,
trippy treacle G.I. Jew,
who would, more aptly
**** sitter himself hub
horn hug ken atheist, boot knew
not a whit about Judaism,

nor any other belief paradigm,
yet does get fixated
(usually in the loo)
about philosophical ideas,
which yet to be revealed
abstract notion came to me
while enjoying a plateful of moo
goo *** pan, plus other Chinese food
(a favorite cuisine),
now aye will try to new

dill back to the initial pretext
found me drawing blanks
(no not shooting) – ooh
aah, this theme
within guttersnipe noggin
more difficult to codify
than one who ****
constipated and try'n might
**** hard tip poo
anyway, the general premise

alighted, and fired
mine gray matter cause
major cerebrum perilous jam up
with sudden crackling
star bursts forced
great mind over matter
to set brainy bedlam
in an organized queue
so while attention of yours
might be moderately rapt, this rue

stirring, hen pecked spouse
best stop digitally squawking sew
the ethereal essence can beak *** comb
brought to cypher awareness too
and in a figurative nutshell,
when doth a wordsmith
know when to quit,
or tubby pointed rhetorical question -
at what juncture does any artisan
more prolific than yours truly

reckon that his/her
faux matted masterpiece
can no longer be perfected?,
cuz further ridiculous tampering,
to Potschke, or play footsie,
would induce dedicated followers of mine
to undergo severe urge to wanna spit
or throw FAKE *******,
subsequently they would feel ***
till late head, find this schlemiel
to end this plotz to whit!

FINIS.

Ransacking treasure trove
of maximum headroom.

To remedy a fate worse than death
or contracting one
of several viral diseases named pox
permeate heavy shut tight door
with numerous deadbolts
and sophisticated locks
and impossible mission to out fox
analogous to roach infestation,
who favor nesting within custom made
Roper men's shoes brand name Docks.

Upon prima facie first blush
me mind's eye all atwitter,
sans long forgotten
"FAKE" ****** exploits
set mum (chrysos anthem) all aglitter,
boot like short order cook I hapt tubby
quickly realized trumpeting collusion,
a near fatal collision course
with Das scribe's antimatter
caw zing friggin insomnia

finding ma noggin scrambled
likesome lithesome cockamamie critter
whipped into frenzy
like battered butter
holy grits, alm manned
in fight of ma life
cause I haint acquitter
baa (jaw edge), ah woe cup feeling
hedged hog extremely bushed 'n bitter,
this raging red bull inside me mind,

now body wheeling wickety wack,
lichen to moss elf gut seasonal litter
bitta asthma - insides
got balled into wah racket
like quietly rioting unfetter
herd plain tennis (see) hens,
gone south tub bespatter
ear rilly jawboning jabberwocky
reducing gray matter,
and all flesh sundered

into meaty platter
to pulverized, irradiated,
cremated... faux fluffernutter batter
analogous tummy Aunt
Jemima's famous flapjacks,
she fantastically fashioned better
than Betty Crocker
tossing spatulated glommed
**** suitable as bonesetter
high as the Taj Mahal,

while she merrily jabbered,
her native patois singsong blatter
all this inaudible clatter
muffled 10,000 maniacs mad as a hatter
madly clangorous dinner cowbells
aroused bacchanalian sybaritic skitter
ring jitterbugging fantasies
of barenaked ladies doth splutter
as bedraggled, frazzled, grizzled...poetry
like cocky rooster that did stutter!

Once upon a time yours truly did allow
himself to consume anything in sight
eats of mine in the mein
included an assortment of chow.

Impossible firm me
(read my bookish self
a schlepping schlemiel,
with schmaltz and chutzpah
stationed at Highland Manor
in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania)
to compete with Adonis,
no way no chance
asthma gut busts over
waistband of sweatpants,
the choice couture,

asper this poet, who kant's
cease spewing regularly
(quotidian) raves and rants
years ago (another lifetime),
I partook of contra dance
(the most fun one can experience
while being clothed)
sing, (and most casual suitable
place to find romance)
plus burn calories matter of fact,
a milieu to buff and enhance

physique, while simultaneously
kibitizing with great expanse
of pleasant gals and guys
one must not be afraid to prance,
(albeit in accordance
with a caller on stage,
and maintain endurance)
synonymous with aerobic exercise,
and also women act flirtatiously
coquettishly, and amorously glance
sing and/or stealing a French fried

kiss, yup dashing all
the way out to France,
yet returning just in time
and adopting being proper,
or improper instance
all the while sustaining
the energetic activity over expanse
of a few hours (traditionally
held on Thursday evenings)
and for that block
of time held in a trance,

asper...analogous to
spellbinding arrow or lance
suspended part way thru flight,
cuz all troubles
temporarily melt away
which venue mentioned,
which small number
of bucks one did pay
to participate among
mine weekly highpoint,
where life liberty,

and pursuit of happiness
which place this then akin to a cray
zee lee whirling dervish, did pine
to spruced himself up,
and ready to hay
for four (analogous to two couples
tracing a figure eight
on the floor with their feet),
thus sped without delay
this bag of lovely bones hapt tubby
more more trim, unlike

less physically fit body of today
and scant finances find me
foregoing joyfully
listening to musicians play
and healthily exhausted
with closing waltz,
thence out tummy car,
yours truly did sashay
and promenade over the rainbow
acquiring spouse worth
more than fine spun gold,

cuzI met me beloved spouse,
(and biological mother
of me now deux grown daughters)
at Summit Presbyterian Church
6757 Greene Street, Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania 19119
almost three decades ago,
where we did precariously
balance and swing and gypsy
while tenuously tethered
to a ladies chain.

revisited January 23rd, 2024
on the evening before yours truly
(the one and only Matthew Scott Harris),
a stand up comic wannabe, who
historically heartily hales
from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
undergoes oh joy rapture colonoscopy.

Three days before that first appointment
with estimable gastroenterologist
Doctor Kellen Karl Kovalovich
regarding upcoming procedure
scheduled for August 17th, 2022),
unfortunately yielded inconclusive results
meaning the excretory material
not satisfactorily expelled.

Though necessary to swallow
four Dulcolax laxative tablets,
plus additionally quaff half
238 gram bottle of Miralax
over span of eight hours,
and if necessary
even apply one Fleets
(or store brand) Enema.

Ideally Vaseline ought be applied
to the enema tip to avoid abrading
sensitive skin surfaces.

The missus located lubricating fluid
she purchased Trojan lubricants
Continuance Essence at Adult World
when a clearance sale
at said store took place.

As a more effective modus operandi
aforenamed said specialist
strongly advised taking Su-prep
in place of Miralax, which  
two step process already begun
earlier today, which
date mentioned in first line.

I grudgingly accept short lived
lower abdominal discomfort
linkedin with gushing watery stools
analogous to reasonable and tolerable
assault upon me derriere
considerably less severe than shigella
tube be worth knowing
nada worry colon cancer
would pose grave threat.

I remembered first colonoscopy
specialist named Larry Borowsky
located 525 Jamestown Ave. #101,
Philadelphia, PA 19128
(challenged courtesy hearing difficulty,
hence he wore an auditory device)
treated me some half dozen plus years ago,
yours truly didst solidly waste,
rather subsequently spent
a few hours writing, toil letting,
and crafting the following bupkis
slightly modified to correspond
with present modus operandi treatment.

Ask any devotee  
of above named gastroenterologists
officious military licensed cheeky knucklers,
ne’er kissed gluteus maximus,
they soldiered thru medical school
despite getting pooped out
rigorous regimen now both know
vital details regarding bowels of human
excretory system, which iz alimentary
and familiar flickering

sleight of hand linkedin
quicken wrist zooms into grab bag
of medicinal tricks - mimics
waving magic wand bitta bang
prestidigitation abracadabra
of **** scope brings – dang
gustatory scenic aerated holy smoker
of a ******, a wasteland fang
less, but the backside seat,
where ****** berries

and/or polyps sometimes hang,
whence undergoing this
behind the scenes procedure
where smelly silent sonnets
from sphincter sprang
most times flatulence
relieved in private place
but, post-op probe
forced air into buttucks,  
thus encourage patients

to aerate sterile space
otherwise known as passing gas
scrutinized faces elicit embarrassment
of elderly folks,
who feel self conscious farting in public
before departing from human race,
rearing specialist unheralded doctors
relieves anguish without a trace
which gratitude spurred
****** attempt to compose verse

to express appreciation
clean bill of health and disperse
anticipatory anxiety, this pooper trooper
endured with pseudo “nurse”
actually mine wife, who nudged me
to undergo examination
lest she bare witness
becoming a widow
following mine hearse
if hypothetical demise did pass,

deceased would hear loud curse
analogous to unstoppable enema,
(brought out from downed colyte
consumed for first colonoscopy)
expletives interspersed with my name
exhibiting master card
shark cunning never forgiving
nor forgetting how we happened
to be broke nearly the entire
coup d’état of marriage –  

reaching cheeky **** pinching
catatonic state die n rapport,
this generic guy saved
from premature death viz ace sing  
examination positive outcome tantamount
with flying colors – at least now,
our two grown darling daughters can
(in ****** dooby doo doo time), perhaps
if/when they beget
their own children witness longevity

courtesy of exemplary doctors
Kellen Karl Kovalovich,
and/or Larry Borowsky,
whose honed trained hands and eyes
adept to scout out and ticket
suspicious cellular demons,
aim of innocuous microbes
to destroy e pluribus unum alone!

The following extrapolated
thought thread exercised,
NOT utilized to intimate
how Fats Domino belied,
and wowed a crowded house ***-sized.

As a former ace procrastinator, I abhor
putting off doing what best ought
to get immediate attention bar
ring some extenuating dire circumstance,
sans mishap with flying carpet
case in point being unexpected a bomb
bin able crisis necessitating
hypothetical individual impossible
to remain calm
while in the process
(assisted with good ole mom)

to hoist self with one's own petard,
which emergency best warrant a reward,
otherwise if fate doth NOT
require one to break
from ordinary business as usual
to enlist the "FAKE"
help of a grenadier,
who doth make his/her livelihood
risking their life,
and limb without quake
king (obviously compensating bravery

as he/she doth stake
out mortal danger with adequate adorn
ing mortal kombat
with ample legal tender and/
or promising first born)
for unstinting mettle,
especially tolerating accompanying
martial baritone horn
player screech (like fingernails
scraping across chalkboard)

in close proximity - eliciting a scorn
ing glare from soldier spy
tinker tailor with a torn
smile while trained
special ops named Bjorn
incurs deadly hazard from one morn
to the next amidst adversity
shouldering care worn
Marines motto semper fidelis,
which unnecessary loss of young life
predicated on add

age, viz being at the least,
a day late and dollar short egad
inadvertently dooming
princely valiant warmonger,
a mere stripling lad
whose mourning brings
heavy pallor of sad
ness, which imagined situation - aye
tangentially congruently analogous by
and by to the butterfly effect,

or sparrow's swan song i.e. die
destiny wrought, when one dost espy
a single occurrence no lie,
(the flickr ring, instagram
ming, kickstart ting well nigh
linkedin shutterfly of a butterfly)
say twerks catcher in the rye,
hence no matter how small, thee or thy
can change the course
of the universe forever,
no idea how nor why.

Unnecessary torturous agonizing stress
wracked psyche throughout mein kampf
beginning in early grade school,
where yours truly adopted counterproductive
time management, note taking, and
prioritization of most to least
important task, which foundering
like a fish out of water besieged
with physiological symptoms
linkedin to haunting nightmares.

Ever since a young lad
irritable bowel syndrome
in my humble pinion wracked
lower abdominal area
gurgled and ballooned gastrointestinal tract
(similar to following Colonoscopy preparation
slated for January 24th, 2024
at Phoenixville Hospital)
posterior issuing
vis a vis borborygmus crooning
in tandem and/or subsequent expulsion

eliminates ***** waste
witnessing sprinting to bathroom, this scribe
(against time) and jet propulsion
of sphincter muscles'
spasmodic desperately raced

unpleasant symptom of anxiety/ panic attack
twas a stranger to this rhyme stir,
who now finds himself barrack
cay did, and held hostage, where thoughts
about mooning doth not crack

a smile, or baring derriere tubby more exact
me up - matter of fact
no source of laughter, nada one ha intact
(despite usual presence of chuckles
from this fan of good humor) high jacked

for what seems a maternity leave
from all mothers tub be
thus envision, a bevy of pregnant gals
aching with cramps he
ving (times square of the hippopotamus)
with ****** fully dilated key
ping alert, when mother nature ready
to pull up all stops (via umbilical cord)
to deliver nee,
sans bundle of joy, followed
in quick succession with after birth re:
placental sack, hence
said effort to expel newborn
the closest scenario
experience ill suited to dance
afflicting this anxiety prone
lovely bones, an all expense
paid (seat of the pants)
accursed bane of proletariat grants
no truce to attend finds me
pampered asper this rants.

Germane generic geeky guy
about one twelfth (knight) enroute
to complete lxv luxurious Earth orbits
experienced chronic, demonic,
physiologically hegemonic...
irritable bowel syndrome
without shadow of a doubt,
yet aforementioned plight
the following lines of poetry
will not be about
problematic posterior plague.

After contemplating discomfort
linkedin with said medical condition,
yours truly realized aftermath
of Hurricane Ian concerning
those who weathered category storm
suffered a fate much worse
subsequently, I took a brief hiatus
typing lines of impossible
to understand questionable verse
challenging proclivity of one
yawping wordsmith being terse

yeah right you probably think
crowning glory upon
mine nonestablishmentarian literary endeavors
hands down majority of anonymous readers
would immediately qualify
his swiftly tailored prolix harried style
unquestionably, obviously, and irreverently
imposing expansive vocabulary as perverse,
no doubt hurling expletive donned curse
at me with every stinging breath they took.

The previous writing endeavor
attached catchy title
at outset intent to brook
unspoken protocols analogous to river,
which overflows banks swallowing
entire metropolitan areas
categorized as biblical flood
believed to occur once
every five hundred year
exhibiting impact greater
than storied facebook
(as personal side note,
said creation a markedly popular

social media platform)
influencing great swaths of populace
allowing, enabling, and providing
user trademark friendly look,
which ineluctably draws innocent naif
into webbed wide world,
where coders fashioned
innocuous virtual pitfalls
many a stalwart devout
online interoper figuratively snagged
courtesy tempting virtual,
lock, stock and
withal ingenious scandalous tailhook.

during and after a moderate snowfall
today January 19th, 2024,
within Southeastern Pennsylvania
and elsewhere across the Eastern Seaboard,
whereby blanket of whiteness
muffles sounds of civilization.

I hate a spoiler alert
regarding weather forecasters prediction,
especially when meteorologist
wannabe spouse doth blurt
out impending blizzard
which never materializes,
thus no need for yours truly to exert
himself shoveling and yet denying same
to frolic and gamely flirt
with Khione, the Greek goddess of snow,
daughter of Boreas, god of the North Wind
and Winter, and sister of Zethes and Calais.

I feel humbled and enamored
when Mother Nature
singly and/or nsync with old man winter
looses propensity to bestow majestic scene,
when expanse of pure white
individual ice crystals
that grow while suspended
in the atmosphere—

usually within clouds—
and then fall, accumulating
on the ground,
where they render further magic
changes landscape into blanket
of pure ****** whiteness;
I fondly think back
remembering '96 storm of the century.

At that time January 1996
me and the missus while timesharing
at Shawnee on the Delaware
ardently, diligently, and persistently strived, yet
unsuccessfully conceived Blizzard Baby.

Now wife far beyond procreative age,
(though nevertheless I wistfully envisage
begetting another progeny -
simultaneously stretching credulity
to breaking point)
all things considered
exhaustion would peter out
after capitulation of divining rod
announced, *******, and issued forth little squirt
necessitating lifetime to recoup energy.

Bound within figurative four walls
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania domicile
courtesy appreciable snowfall,
I direct energy crafting poem.

Yours truly will actually
refrain comestibles despite feeling hungry -
(plus he will be undergoing a colonoscopy
five days hence and abstain eating fiber
unless inclement weather determines otherwise)
lest metabolism to digest food
decreases potential alertness,
and full belly finds me
able, eager, ready and willing
to lie supine, study
the backs of my eyes and digest.

"Mother Nature" commences
to baptize spilling
purity from sheltering overcast sky
bajillion year celestial tureen
while refulgent weak solar beams
desperately massage tender shoots
thawing frozen earth,
where frigid cold icy sheen
hermetically sealed, asper
horizontal frozen walled in pond,
Thoreau and thru,

when skaters waltzed
stealing lovers kisses unseen
soon thaw melts pools
of frozen precipitation
all a buzz with feeding
Gabriel donning primped
orange coiffure trumpeting
"NON FAKE" arrival herculean
kickstarting powers unleashed
since time immemorial worship,
and/or sacrifices made

to deities of webbed skein
viz, animal and/or plant
wide world rejoicing when
harvest yielded cornucopia
primitive, yet over keen
superstitious shutterfly scattered
bands of hominids plentitude
linkedin to sugar daddy's
favorite colored jelly bean
benediction, and veneration rituals
also included pagan dispensing

prayers believing
obeisance necessitated cyclopean
appeasement lest death
and destruction would rain
purple pearl drop monsoon,
traced to angry spirits
subsequently drowning
helpless prehistoric hygiene
cleansed **** sapiens
ancestors possessing gene

and chromosomes latent
within dormant flora lean
fauna coming alive
with the scent of fragrant bouquet
while the hills burst
with creativity healthy panacean
liberating tentative "cabin fever"
wrought by polar
vortex, the spell of warm weather,
a respite sunscreen

applied to ward off deadly
ultraviolet solar radiations
something in magnitude
bajillion extinctions obscene
spate of lost species
as seasons greetings witness hot
untenable global warming
affecting every calm serene
nook and cranny incumbent
to relish approximately

twelve weeks of cold temperatures
while sipping my ovaltine
reminiscing about Lake Wobegon days
recollected from fictitious boyhood,
when snowfall covered roofs
tops inconveniencing Rudolph,
and his deer friends a teen
nee tiny bit, and school cancellation
necessitated state requirement
resulting summer vacation
shelving reading Pygmalion
for Shaw!

can you save American democracy?

I highly hugely grant
Barack Hussein belated kudos
what with his wizardesses
in tow wrought wonders
to one nation analogous
while an under dog
sweeping in like...
It's a Bird... It's a Plane...
It's NOT Superman
but the Beagle Snoopy
imitating the Red Baron
saving the day.

Analogous to powerful twelve Olympians
in ancient Greek religion and mythology
(Zeus, Poseidon, Hera, Demeter, Aphrodite,
Athena, Artemis, Apollo, Ares, Hephaestus,
Hermes, and either Hestia and Dionysus)
you wield immense influence
among United States electorate,
(especially an exceptionally strong following,
where people of color be concerned)
which upcoming presidential election
November fifth MMXXIV
decrees intrepid politically savvy candidate.

No need to x (typically pronounced
as the voiceless consonant cluster /ks/
when it follows stressed vowel e.g. ox,
and the voiced consonant /ɡz/
when it precedes stressed vowel e.g. exam.

It is also pronounced /ɡz/
when it precedes a silent ⟨h⟩
and a stressed vowel
e.g. exhaust) spleen
with mine pun hushing
dull liver re:
how many citizens (most Democrats
and even a goodly amount of Republicans),
would vote for you in a heartbeat.

As the elegant forty fourth first lady
you became a role model for women
and an advocate for healthy families,
service members and their families,
higher education, and international
adolescent girls education.

Your megawattage aura, charisma, persona
continues to bring you rave reviews
and imbues avid supporters
as she positively affects
ringing endorsements of the following:
military families, working women
balance their careers and families
encourages national service,
promotes the arts and arts education,
and fosters healthy eating
and healthy living
for children and families
across the country.

Additionally, you earned
widespread acclaim and publicity
on the topic of healthy eating
by planting the first White House
vegetable garden since Eleanor Roosevelt
served as First Lady.

Totalitarianism will be trumpeted
courtesy the coiffed oaf
donned with FAKE orange hair,
whereby constitutional freedoms
beginning with disenfranchisement
will disallow, disable, and withhold
an increasing number
regarding people of color,
plus people hashtagged

as undocumented immigrants
forcibly returned to their homeland,
no matter purpose driven lives
includes people arriving
for work and study,
as well as for humanitarian purposes,
including unique events
such as those arriving
from Ukraine and Hong Kong.

Citizens like yours truly
will raise cane to no avail;
the prospect hard won freedoms
since the founding
of these United States of America
could be rescinded
at the stroke of a pen,
I already bewail
as a fait accompli
no surprise then

that even crafting poetry
dutifully doth decry abolition
of inalienable rights
(for life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness
strongmen of the law could curtail
suppressing dissent as forcibly decreed
"The devil is in the details"
will mount insurrection against holy grail
as enshrined in Declaration of Independence

turning into figurative mincemeat
the Constitution lighting a torch,
where “City On A Hill”
backbreaking slave labor
erected courtesy hearty and hale
dark skinned people
violently wrenched from homeland
mercilessly whipped and tortured
viz lynched while still alive a stake
thru flesh didst impale.

Politicians with a conscience
the exception rather than the rule,
and looking, peering, and
scanning back forty seven years
when thirty ninth occupant of White House
chose Walter Frederick "Fritz" Mondale
an American lawyer and politician
served as the 42nd vice president
of the United States from 1977 to 1981
under President Jimmy Carter,
I think virtue throve.

Hammering the final nail
in the figurative coffin of democracy
can be heard echoing
across the voluminously storied
complex edifice rent asunder
courtesy diabolical forces crumbled,
whereby all the king's men
and horses could not
resurrect best western civilization.

Aims to trigger cerebral ******;

Other terms for said phenomena are
"brain tingles" and "head ******."
This sensation is described as a pleasant,
even euphoric, tingling warmth and/or feeling
of relaxation that comes in waves across
the head, neck, and spine.
This phenomenon is often triggered
by soothing auditory
and/or visual experiences.

Though puzzled regarding
the minor biochemical
or perhaps neurological mystery
underlying tumbling, plummeting,
and nosediving libido of mine,
nevertheless, I blessedly accept reality,
whereby once raging testosterone
figuratively analogous to former gushing spigot
of hormonal secretion
now (yes pun intended) runs bone dry
and (contrary to any fallacy),
NOT sorely missed!

Yours truly (me) surmises absent *** drive
linkedin to side effects of one or more
of the nine prescription medications
taken to offset anxiety, dysthymia,
palmar hyperhidrosis (sweaty palms),
obsessive compulsive disorder, and
restless leg syndrome)
subsequently an aspiration arose to arouse
at least one unsuspecting reader
to experience mental excitement
courtesy yours truly

(mine) poetic and prosaic foreplay,
especially concocting double entendres
that titillate Wernicke's area, i.e.
a critical language area
in the posterior superior
temporal lobe connects
to Broca's area via a neural pathway.
Wernicke's area is primarily involved
in the comprehension.

Historically, this area
associated with language processing,
whether it is written or spoken.

Unlike setting up blind dates for myself
more than half my lifetime ago
(with long sought after ambition, expectation,
and utilization answering call of the wild
read for tactile sensory sensual experience)
courtesy, Craigslist, Philadelphia Magazine,
Single Book lovers, or other mediums
to post or answer
personal classified advertisements;
nowadays, the quest when responding
to friendship requests thru Facebook
ala Messenger sofa now couched
with intent for platonic familiarity.

If/when words masterfully baited
usage of English Language
without recourse to any rhyme nor reason
admittedly, gloriously, and undoubtedly created
upsurge of... palpable excitement,
though medical experts invariably
would most likely challenge
if I actually averred (honest to dog)
coalition, fusion, integration,

et cetera of genitalia
between consensual adults in general,
and oral ******* in particular execrated
from fervid, lurid,
or perfervid fantasies of mine;
methinks attaining the big "O" oversaturated,
cuz in my paradigm,
no erogenous zones need get sated
to attain contentment eliciting joie de vivre.

An intense passion runs rampant
when reading and
to a slightly lesser degree writing
about pleasurable sensations
affecting the mind imbibing
heavenly essences helped along,
when heightened state of mental acuity
brought about thru restful sleep
coaxed along with five hour energy drink,
or other caffeinated beverage.

Exercising on the stationary bicycle
(no way to determine distance traversed
since I removed odometer and other
sundry mechanisms), nevertheless
key objective regarding cardiological workout felt
cause resistance to push pedals
set to highest tension, generates mild euphoria,
which approximation of nirvana
heightened while concentrating reading out loud
hearing thought provoking material.

date of conception:?  ~ Late March – mid April 1958.
date of parturition: January xiii, mcmlix.
date of expiration:? January i, eminem,
where earth, wind, and fire doth usher
hootie and the blowfish
on a green day
and a three dog night
three doors down from foo fighters.

A gangly, horribly measly, and scraggly bundle
of lovely bones even as a lad
(way to skinny to appease wicked witch)
chee boo came out kicking and screaming
and he never stopped since
that's how I will get carried out.

Yours truly an aging married baby boomer
(orangutan missing link)
long haired pencil necked geek
(constantly clearing phlegm from his throat)
trademark disheveled characteristics
whipsawed ever faster around sun
quickly ratcheting and spiraling tornado like
nearly 30 kilometers per second,
or 67,000 miles per hour clip;
while sprawled atop earth,
he journeyed, jumpstarted, kickstarted,
launched countless planetary orbitz
quintessentially retracing trajectory
when Gaia linkedin courtesy gravity
maintaining invisible bond with Helios.

He (best nutty buddy
and alter ego of mine),
which birth sported an ordinary
uneventful, nevertheless miraculous
combination platter visited
*******, *******, secretion
nsync with erratic spastic seminal kicks
divine fertilization usually took place
in a fallopian youtube
playing mine unrehearsed debut appearance
after an ***** to the ******
wrought conception, which
begat biological reproductive process

fostered embryonic development
'o Boyce and Harriet straggly heir,
one male progeny mostly
gangly lovely bones mox nix
cellular division yes genesis
I rem:member being born
as an a door able beatle browed talking head
super tramping cheap tricks
immediately kickstarted and triggered
goo goo doll foo fighter enfant terrible
terrifically soulfully bellowing;
also envision Dolby surround sound
without assistance courtesy
Gran Prix (for poetic purpose
pronounceable *** pistols ******).

Upon due date when water broke
vaguely analogous to how rice krispies
snapped, popped, and crackled;
firstly his crown emerged out ******
ain't got pushed by no
heavy duty contractions out birth canal
no siree but propelled seven plus pounds
courtesy infantile flatulence
asthma noggin heralded
scrawny declaration, now celebrating lx
plus four ellipses around nearest star,
subsequently skinny arms and legs
(I'll spare ye the ****** graphics
with the afterbirth regarding
  
placenta and fetal membranes
discharged from the ******
after the birth of offspring),
whence obstetrician able, eager,
ready, and willing to secure newborn
in swaddling raiment
affirming  proud parents
their healthy baby boy
underscored with italics
readied to receive pronounced hosannas  
regarding garden variety
generic wrinkled likened
to an old manikin newborn.

Within some now nondescript building
then named The Christ Hospital
location Mount Auburn
Cincinnati, Ohio
(the Buckeye state)
record number C57587
gingerly handled courtesy
Doctor James Mackay McCord
(ushering none other than me
into the webbed wide world)

bestowed upon *****
of Harriet Harris (maternal parent),
after thy young mother
experienced brief labor
as his bonny head and bony derrière easily
slipped out uterine crypt,
whereby with Vernix
caseosa, the waxy or cheese substance,
he appeared er made
rather wicked, matted, and dipped
in tallow, thence unexpectedly whipped
minuscule fist ready to bump.

Once placenta and fetal membranes
(unnecessary as wing ding)
discharged out ******
after birth of offspring,
and thar weren't no more
major contractions in the offing
ma mommy lovingly did cling
to her bundle of joy and bring

maternal breast I ravenously
did suckle fortunately toothless
against her tender ***** trickling
(if mammary serves me correctly),
I presently recall no iota of inkling
what events transpired, nope
no recollection
about me being circumcised.

Traditionally a mohel is a rabbi,
cantor or another religious leader
who performs brit milah,
or bris, a circumcision ceremony,
on an 8-day-old.

Moost likely I felt Jew bull lent
glad yours truly chose decent
mother and father, which opinion
subjected to radical change,
when as grown adult child
living nonsocial under
their roof housing forced to hire agent
provocateur to practice sparring,
when standoff event on horizon,
which eventually begat ultimatums,
where mutual quiet riot revulsion
swallowed me into a black hole

their red hot poker rage spent
belittling, cursing, damning...
quiet as Unitarian Church mouse content
internalizing later smoldering
anger I needed to vent
in retrospect diminutive little boy
tied to mama's apron strings
afflicted with mental
health issues inherent
of course hindsight gleaned

social, psychological, neurological...
healthy development got rent
asunder partly explaining
why I became indigent
cuz absolute zero ambition
to hustle and convince
prospective employers to hire me
an astute candidate with
deaf fin knit muted confidence.

"Sic semper evello mortem tyrannis"
translation = thus always I
bring death to tyrants.”

Above the fray of twittering,
squabbling, and madding crowds,
an arrogantly belligerent creature deified,
yet vilified gauche, haughty lumpenproletariat
decreeing blind, deaf and dumb obeisance,
whereby upon forced Sacrificial Altar
erected golden Olympian fleeced perch,
(he acquired, effected, indoctrinated
vis-à-vis bloodless coup d'etat)
absolute dictatorship jump/
kick starting  veneration,
albeit forced subservience

buzzfeeding, fostering (long)
totalitarian reign crafting ship of state  
into figurative unwieldy beastly Leviathan
through present Century21
incorporating deterministic, fascistic,
masochistic, narcissistic, opportunistic,
and shamanistic trumpeting
holier than though malevolent fiery bombast
fulminating laws, exuding self worth
hortatory exclamations decreeing
(by fiat, that no commoner
lest they want an Escort into Crossover realm

he/she cannot afford to Dodge commands,
especially if and when Porsche
comes to shove Fiats promulgated)
absolute valued flat out sharp devotion
pledging (née requiring) pilgrimages,
where his birthplace sanctified
as cultural heritage site,
(a humble abode in backwater of Queens)
dammed, deemed, and donned
for populace to worship
and pay requisite penance de rigueur
in order to avoid premature death;

said consecration viz complex edifice
analogous to Taj Mahal
self declared god enshrined provenance,
where pathway paved with gold
courtesy self declared demigod;
(one blimey, flimsy, nasty
shortish and brutal Attila the *** wannabe),
who served daily dollop of dregs
in ***** deeds done dirt cheap demitasse
admiring, fawning, kowtowing,
primping, et cetera himself,
i.e. a Beatle browed, bobble headed

mop top orange hirsute Talking Head
(though likeness of his trademark
coiffed haired countenance
plastered across every square inch)
detested, and feared unto Caesar,
whose reflection shone thru
and across wall to wall hall
of mountain king mirrors;
meanwhile Blood, Sweat And Tears
for Fears Beastie Beach Boys
and Goo Goo Dolls with ******* aplenty
painstakingly enslaved away

raspily, tentatively verily warbling words,
(while simultaneously severely afflicted
with heebie-jeebies) sung,
(albeit barely audible) Stayin' Alive
amidst noise of torture chamber
smells of burning flesh  
as evidenced by branded, pierced,
snd tattooed rebellious insubordinates
invariably found culpable regarding lèse-majesté,
thus futilely skittering helter skelter
from his majesty paw sized hands
adorned with precious jewels monogrammed

with initials of  Frederick Christ Trump Sr
within whose grotto the heir
found solace, perserverence, and divine guidance
inspiring blistering, glorifying hymns
punishing, and withering edicts
totally tubular proclamations pronouncing
matter of fact, unquestioned imposed fealty
larger than life persona, endowed
crowned, and accorded self  supremacy,
where even divine
cosmic consciousness bows
and trembles acquiescing

toward ornery primate,
whose self crafted patriarchal
mandates imposed unquestioned vows,
where punishment meted out if questioning
of authority appeared to furrow brows
allowing, enabling and providing
totalitarian usurper re: free will ordains wows
be uttered and furor
squelched via militaristic might,
whenever fuhrer didst rouse
the public to pay homage

(even if coerced, forced, and induced)
toward faux courtly house
of seized role of Caesar Augustus
enforcing abrogation,
whence sun t'will
dance and rise to douse
the chill from the dawn
early morn, and mother earth
will be delegated to serve
world wide wagstaff slow caucus
as surrogate spouse, parent, big brother.

Dictatorial modus operandi foisted
upon ******* up public enemy re:
guarding Visigothic, oligopolistic,
hedonistic, and cannibalistic
adopted heir of vested gentry
meted staked, and yoked
fancyfeast sovereignty
intolerant per crowd-sourced
crowing diehard fulminations
denouncing trick air re:
qua hoodwinked treaty
against opprobrious, serious
reign of terror breed

ding steely dang LifeLock
self proclaimed deity
czarist gnome *****
to be (habeas corpus) writ
since this anonymous
cloaked drafted ensign gainsays nothing
as one among populous proletariat
bound and gagged if I don't claim
tyranny rigged by bourgeoisie
and get hung drawn and quartered
as a dire warning damning social compact
left to rot in hell
as a capital one threatening misfit.

Postscript:

I started with the premise
and idea of constituting
the cult of personality worship,
but found thoughts trotting off
in another direction,
and thus felt obliged
to saddle and pony up to thine
predominant sad dulled end
product te deum!

the following written
for no particular rhyme nor reason
quite aware the exit (stage door left)
allows, enables, to provide every season
with a bumper crop of dead souls.

many mortals beseechingly
lift up their hands
in supplication and inquire
omnipotent omniscient force
and ask why
since the dawn of civilization
humans dream up schemes to try
and sidestep unavoidable death,
whereby each person
in the macroscopic scheme of things
lives infinitesimal time –
say the lifecycle of a mayfly
as compared/contrasted
with birth of the universe,
yet noone can  defy
unstoppable process of senescence
and reincarnation into other matter.

no rival can outwit death
the latest craze constituting immortality
cryogenics will be tried
for the rich and famous
unlike one garden variety married man
a common joker biden his time
mortality of all will level
ever since origin of species
**** sapiens took self pride
whence began the march of time
human beings sought futile efforts
to sell their soul

to the devil who never lied
for lame excuse being brought
into this tangled
webbed wide world with invisible twine
impossible to outwit death
no matter how far
one tries to run and hide
wrenched to underworld
of Hades forced
across river Styx foul breath
from decomposition per billions
of **** sapiens that died.
  
intrepid souls stymied with infinite jest
by devising laughable escape
regarding these lovely
bones and flesh to divest
from nada one knotted loophole
tied by supreme hands and very best
no nonsense, but
to acquire every singular soul

financially straightened budget
necessitates yours truly
without undo extravagance fussed
on me, a pragmatist
to stockpile skull and cross bones,
which eventually turn to dust
enriching cadre from those
who trod across
boulevard of broken dream
capitalizing on those blessed
with booming fortune before going bust
joining rank and file of countless
anonymous graveyards  silently scream

the massed voices
who felt the fate of uninvited curse
once living in the green day of glory
before their existence rent asunder
taken under by driverless hearse
and subsequent devilish quarry

further contributing to the complex edifice
seen only by the dead
patrolled by Lucifer
for those who believe
against atheism and diet of worms
extremely well fed
those lives lost and once
whose kin did grieve

from sorrowful plight
departing with sweet sorrows rife
with natural fear of corporeal cessation
whether prematurely or
at some ripe old age
pitting impatient burgomaster
stealer of life
whereby surviving kith pay homage
on specific date of calendar page
aware that netherland awaits
without bugles nor fife.

Ah... what luxury to wax poetic
as freedom to trumpet thoughts,
ideas, emotions, et cetera will wane,
especially if president number forty five
courtesy wealth and/or stealth
dons the mantle as de facto fractious tyrant
of these United States
come November 5th, 2024
methinks perchance mankind always vain
n'er did appertain
moral hike polar opposite

from human being:
uncivil, unethical, unsocial, et cetera
minimally app proxy mating, neither didst
faithfully abide as citizen Kane
externally - nar main
ten an ounce, (asper atop figurative fain
faux shaw didst attain
"FAKE" horn o' manners), tolerance,
our predecessors didst abstain
nor internally between brain,

sans modest straight,
and ne'r did entertain
narrow true lofty salient tenet
absence of virtue tis no matter pray'n -
quite self evident, plain
as day, and vice gripped by
fratricide (or homicide
in general) endemic throughout
evolution of humanity dripping
nee gushing more'n

nah globule bloodstain,
viz more aptly bloodbath,
haply insinuated, embedded,
and accrued heart felt toehold gain
saying division among
caveman club rings animal hides
pelt did maintain
bare co-opted spirit hood
did micro reign
buzzfeed ding death,

via plenti did retain
aplomb murderous sprees kickstarter
thankfully guaranteeing (ha)
hardy internecine characteristic
kept in lock step with
proto humans enlightenment, qua
i.e. as earliest primates
acquired innate haughty
zealous apropos boastfulness
to ascend chain

of command anointing insane
lee flattering hashtag, re: (albeit ill fit
ting), yet utopian
appellation "noble savage,"
which inchoate bipedal hominids
(forerunners of **** sapiens),
quickly dost wrought impertinent
sobriquet (by anonymous
simian "Einstein brain
child"), viz favored

killing one another
strove and still thrives,
since Adam and Eve,
for sport, but most
dramatically didst appear
purportedly, when Abel got slain by Cain
punctuated equilibrium lopping limb
and/or head off if one
didst dissent or complain
setting precedent for consanguineous
modern Roman Times

(font size twelve) brutish,
nasty, and short train
ning supposedly "civilized insubordinate"
Lorde foo fighting beastie boy
received fatal crackbrain
with imprimatur challenging authority,
sans grossly wading, brazen overstepping
circumscribed domain,
where thwack on noggin
determined, hence did explain
survival of fittest.

within hinterlands of
Perkiomen Valley Pennsylvania
occurred January 6th promptly at noon.

****** whiteness blankets terrestrial realm
bajillion snowflakes tumble out of sky
atavistic fascination awakened
agog at ice crystals stinging each eye
while I strike open mouthed stance
relishing tasting frozen water molecules.

No matter yours truly witnessed
countless winter wonderlands
since completing lxiv orbitz round the sun,
the first major seasonal substantial accumulation
excites the little boy inside me.

Additionally, I feel truly humbled and enamored
when Mother Nature
singly and/or nsync with old man winter,
whether she (former)
looses propensity to wreak havoc
(think climatological, geological,
meteorological, et cetera phenomena)
or latter trumpets weather,
whereby landscape magically transformed
into blinding brilliance,
I tip hat to personification of winter
and fondly think back
remembering '96 storm of the century.

At that time January 1996
me and the missus timesharing
seven nights and six days holed up
along Shawnee on the Delaware
(a honeymoon gift courtesy my parents)
spending disproportionate amount of time
frolicking under warm blankets
ardently, fervently, naturally...
both of us experiencing
devilish, feverish, impish,
loutish (more so me)... concupiscence
striving to beget offspring, yet unsuccessful
conceiving Blizzard Baby.

Now far beyond prime procreative age,
(though I wistfully envisage
begetting another progeny -
simultaneously stretching credulity
to breaking point)
all things considered
exhaustion would peter out
after capitulation of divining rod
necessitating lifetime to recoup energy.

Bound within figurative four walls
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania domicile
courtesy appreciable snowfall,
I direct energy crafting poem.

Yours truly will actually
refrain comestibles despite feeling hungry -
lest metabolism to digest food
decreases potential alertness,
and full belly finds me
ready able and willing
to doze immediately into deep slumber.

Hungry stomach in tandem
with eventful weather
sends surge of giddiness
coursing thru body electric
crackling, popping, and snapping
(while O Captain! My Captain!)
came to witty man (me) suddenly
enervating with poignant pregnant expectancy
papa pondering his empty nest syndrome
analogously attempting to offset void

coaxing reasonable rhyme into existence
unsure how literary endeavor
(mine) will thrive
amidst well suited
panoply of prolific writers,
whose unseen fingers
hop lightly and gracefully
across qwerty computer keyboard
akin to heavy armed soldiers
with fearlessness and deliberation
heading off to war to acquire poetic license.

Meanwhile chafed knuckles
of one garden variety primate
previously scraping knuckles along tundra
in mock imitation of forebears
(methinks I espy frozen Mastodon)
before said twenty first century caveman
learned to stand *****
endeavors to strike letter combinations
eliciting, facilitating, and generating
enticing curb appeal.

Although the following poetic/prosaic material written January eighteenth two thousand and eighteen, I came across these encapsulated, enclosed, encoded, and encrusted with barnacle clad body electric of my trademark crafted gobbledygook today January third two thousand and twenty three.  
     Though the heyday and stellar popularity didst long since wane, I still enjoy listening to select song titles (to many for listing here along this virtual boulevard of broken dream) of this iconic Punk Rock band unique rapid fire machine gun punctuated trademark style still induces goosebumps IF only because my eldest daughter used to be a rabid fan.
     She even voluntarily recruited this papa (and asked me in her coy, diminutive, earnestly irresistible purring kitty cat demeanor if yours truly could taxi herself, and one or more best buddies, (whom she keeps in regular communication to this Green Day) to the the theatrical performance “American Idiot” being shown on Broadway. Hence I rented a vehicle, and nervously hightailed into the core of the Big Apple for the first time in my hermetically sealed seminarian like sequestered life.
     Unsure at the present status of this three (?) member all male musician troupe (with a moderate sized following at the zenith of their renown i.e. with quite a motley crue of groupies to boot), nonetheless at the height of fame and fortune experienced by said trio, a spurious whim spurred this middle aged chap to jot down his feelings of unbridled affinity toward said talented three person creative young men within a poetic format (left unmodified only if there appeared a typographical error, or an ambiguous awkward outdated word arrangement) will be appended below.
Billie Joe Armstrong,
Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool,
which trio known
(the world wide web over)
as the band Green Day
composed lyrics and melodies
this listener did imbibe
analogous to downing musical fuel
no matter the lead singer
supposedly never graduated

from high school,
yet raw bits of primal utterance
approximated immense talent galore,
which excessive indulgence
with amber liquids of the dogs
or flagrant downing
consciousness expanding material
filled the airwaves of soundstage and/or studio
with snapping, popping, and crackling
rhythmic synchronicity evoking images
of warm from a Yule tide burning log.

I (a common, easy going, generic kid,
a garden variety and generic American Idiot)
spent childhood years
practicing the piano,
which tickling the ivory (way before
realization brought to my attention,
how elephants illegally
poached and slaughtered),
for shear sporting whim
pounded the keys with vigor and vim

speculated at how dissimilar mine fate,
would possibly be if dedication sustained
to be a self driven task master
while mollycoddling the baby grand,
perchance me billfold and financial accounts
would not be extremely paltry and slim
reflected then and now,
on one of those “what if...could a,
should a would a...” hypothetical queries
and wonders When Stopping By Woods
on a Snowy Evening  

if Robert Frost enshrined and rim  
mem bored viz signature ruminating
about “The Road Not Taken”
might fancy himself joining a seminary
(rather peculiar though from an atheist)
obeying behavioral edicts
(with no discipline required
from “religious fathers”proper and prim,
hence baring the habit as a nun
in a convent chances negligible to him

i.e. me, yet...all those mewing kitties
will more closely match my anthem
but un-natural suppression sans animal,
carnal, feral...predilections
finds thoughts quickly being
dismissed cuz of such
restrained celibacy codas,
and even preferring to be dangling
(literally), and holding on for dear life
from a rather straggly limb

even clinging with diminishing strength
resorting to contriving
a rip public kin battle Hymn
knowing likelihood
(When I Come Around)
for immediate salvation grim
er ring, and fading outlook
Whatsapp eared dim
getting anxious, and
minimally cautiously optimistic

that When September Ends piercing
me (a Basket Case)
flesh with pellets of cold rain
grip upon the slippery bark will induce
greater anguish emotional pain
unsure if mine demise will be a cometh,
as grim reaper doth gain
another mortal, whose life cut short  
will induce a gaping hole
within thy family chain.

Commencement writing this poem
began December 31st: 2:24 PM
ended December 31st: 03:53 PM.

The best geriatric effort I apply
twittering, ushering, and
albeit wheezing Auld Lang Syne
crocodile done deed tear
will yours truly cry
bidding, ****** *******,
issuing, ousting hottest year on record,
where global warming signalled goodbye
annihilating, eradicating, incinerating, et cetera
undiscovered flora and fauna
adieu two thousand twenty three

ululates poet laureate
wannabe of Perkiomen Valley
who utters unfettered fare thee well
similar sentiments also vocalized
from every gal and guy
regarding tragic violent
webbed wide world events
that didst wreak wanton wickedness
sowing universal woebegone yawping
wresting worst warring jilted spirits
jackknifed wuthering heights

begetting horrid wretched mortification,
and killing fields of slain innocent people
transfixing living mortals
into hellacious dystopian nightmares
bumper crop for grim reaper,
who with good cheer well nigh,
gathered lovely bones
meanwhile awesome pyrotechnics
will light up night sky
and blind anesthetized, hypnotized, mesmerized
and paralyzed madding crowd
against brutal capital one genocide.

All across world wide web
hope springs eternal
rocking and rolling creatures
woke out their hibernal
phase, where new year
rings optimism jockeys
to thwart diabolical, infernal
offal, venal... bare beer bellies
race with full bladders
elbowing way to nearest ******.

Infinitesimal metaphorical eye blink
yet,... utopian wishes
transcending personal resolutions,
while champagne glasses clink
***** legitimated, liberated
to quaff another drink
who knows mankind, and
all species may become extinct
climate change if anthropomorphized...,
a party spoiler rat fink
aye bet same phenomena,

that also caused human missing link
wild hypothesis, I admit
yours truly did misthink
merely speculating as
fingers spuriously plink
MacBook keyboard
upon completion, I will uplink
rhyme without reason,
than succumb to zeeland,
where dreams conjured courtesy
rapid eye movement lidded wink.

Though veritable stranger
to thee dear reader,
I read dully admit,
future generations saddled with
detrimental, environmental, governmental
and monumental debit,
nevertheless hope ya summon true grit
threading thru maze of life adhering
to credos, dogma, ethics... mostly legit
yet take to the activist streets
if necessary and ABSOLUTELY vote

if prior to election day,
ye complete eighteenth orbit
cuz, commander in chief,
he will not concede nor quit
trumpeting power monger loathe
to relinquish presidency
crushing, grounding, pulverizing
country into Grade A s*¡t
(use your imagination), and
sure call this mister a twit,
nevertheless exhibits wisdom and wit.

All joking aside,
and predilection to YELL,
yours truly wishes ye well
write and share, cuz
no doubt you got lots to tell
plus the writing process
cathartic, fantastic, therapeutic
to express concerns, emotions,
far out predictions... eke quell
or greater than mine,
a sexagenarian who intimates death knell
of **** sapiens, who created hell
on Earth concerning multitude of life forms
an ordinary garden variety fell
**...**...**... within Schwenksville I dwell.

Gratitude suffuses me today
at prospect to plumb the depths
of a fledgling friendship
(respecting fidelity to wife)
even one bound
within the parameters of cyberspace,
I feel courtesy your amazing grace
figuratively stitching omnipotent binding
with virtual satin and lace
proceeding cautiously to experience
belonging to human rat race.

Night and day, a thrashing
like an invisible whiptail
surge van hail,
doth swell me *****
excruciatingly, doggedly blackmail
capriciously be-numbingly,
aggravatingly assail
mine conscience in
what paltry pale
capacity of this gamboling male,
I can "pay forward,"

whatever means shale
be moost apropos avail
to offset bewail
ling (internal psyche doth ale
hankering) against utter
lifetime (mine) peppered
with emotional, physical
and social destitution
bereft, viz fail
ling to maximize inspiration
reverberating as vibrant detail

lacking even justa minimum
desire to live
(visa vis no way
discover ring, nope nar even
"FAKE" king minuscule appeasement
of my body, mind,
and spirit triage during)
hell...shove (shelve) aside
such gloriously noble benighted role,
amidst upending folktale
re: King Arthur and His Knights

of the Round Table
futilely searching for holy grail,
where steadfast conviction
emboldens this heart and hale
spirited mindful,
sincere hard drive spurs
(neigh saying horse
sense of mine),
where ambition saddled
to air (dan sing) quailing,
yen propelling (yours truly),

with sincere humanitarian,
(i.e. blood driven)
philanthropic spiritual zeal,
I tried to unveil,
this reasonably rhyming thumbnail
sketch poetically versatile
within this spurious verse despite
any trials undermining travail
rather mine heart felt genuine
motive fueled by impetus
to contribute within e kale

logical, fizzy hollow gee, humanity,
with integrity, magnanimity,
and quality fervency,
while still adept, adroit,
agile, and alert,
(cuz America needs more lerts
to become great again)
ironically steel tougher than
nine inch rusty nails,
duh pleating ability dovetail
to bug (or wug) gee wholesale.

Adieu from Matthew Scott Harris
who tapped out this message
while holed up in his mancave
situated within Southeastern Pennsylvania.

as imagined by cogent, fervent, intelligent,
lucent, occident, reticent, and uneminent
nonestablishmentarian.

The following disquisition initially describes
emotions prior to experiencing corporeal death,
yet unbeknownst to this skeptical atheist, his
anticipatory anxiety stalwart like a soldier
valiantly bidding adieu to Earthly terrestrial
sphere, whence intractable denial of life after
death found such premise turned upside down.

Whence moment thine instant karma expired
coterie of medical professionals henceforth
determined thine body to be dead.

This code blue bone chilling cold winter day
(referring to date this poem originally written)
appeared to indicate this wordsmith forever
dormant, since no vital signs showed any
response, though examination conducted
comprised a rather cursory assessment.

The next of kin bereaved the absence of life
evidenced by last whispery dying and/or living
breath, which found rigor mortis the indubitable
signature of the grim reaper.

Though visibly lifeless, thine aura entered
miasma constituting a fifth dimension,
which primed thine soul.

Prudent outlook of mine crafted Netzero agnostic
belief in hereafter (this from formative years bing
steep pulled within Unitarian faith) immediately
undermined via sprinting spirits of deceased.

Within fingerhut gilt hula hoop ring (cosmic
programmed Onstar mapquest force field) boarded
avast progressive throng (i.e. amidst fluted mist
throve ethereal, kindling spirits swirling
in Plenti full Orbitz.

No more evidence of that once longhaired pencil
necked geek, who fostered nonestablishmentarian
outlook among brother and sister beatniks,
(whereby said generic dork happened to be one
among many capitalone dishabille dressed
Dharma bums.

Perpetually preserved amidst an ethereal sphere,
(whereby witches and warlocks guarded immaterial
discernible willowy wisps), twas here, within which
hallowed dead souls found, scythe lent death stillness,
and an eternal asylum.

Death warrant decreed left
troubadour entombed, but ‘lo dance
Clearwater Revival did BuzzFeed heft
rejuvenation where ghost of this scrivener
premature pronounced bereft
of Linkedin to devilish witch mockery,
who playfully heckled, mocked, and teased
where lovely bones ceremoniously
lowered into graveyard cleft.

Ford score and...Chevy
five years ago,
my Model A strapping
handsome big bro,
(who sped like one
speeding Triumph font lee, crow),
wing, & swooping Thunderbird, with
bold face observers whistling Geronimo
(Holy Jeep), this meant war
whooping Comanche

decked out as armadillo
kicking up red feathery
colored dust devils
rivaling the fastest Alfa Romeo
(while choking, gagging, loo
sing russett sputum
flecked with true grit
mouthful size of Colorado)
easily mistaken for masked Zorro
speeding across rugged

terrain of Durango,
ah recall and reminisce,
and if cup ear just so
can still hear (albeit faintly),
a toy Yoda Echo
wing nsync with
Lake Woebegone prairie
home companion, the little known no
nonsense visiting drag queen racer
Noah N. Gin poe

cur face (born that way)
originally from Malibu, a beautiful
Corvair with Corsair, now resembling
groveling growling Gremlin, in slow-mo
what with his Smashface
ugly enough to scare Apollo
the ghost of David Buick,
a poor entrepreneur, who
never did make good profit re: Coupe,
and could not Dodge nor shoo

away, the Stealth fearsome curse
of Aries nibble Viper moo
ving fast as greased lightning,
(whereby an Eagle Talon
flashed like Spitfire akin too
Austin-Healey Sprite)
full Caprice out of the
(sir really yon) blue
celestial vault outer limits, hue
mans avoided only

brave Caravan Voyager Goo Goo
Doll dared (only fools rushed in,
ignoring, and dodging Fiat,
where angels feared to tread), a Motley Crue
shielded with Fisker Karma (credit),
no matter last payments way overdue
sought out (with Escort
in tow) - actually two
yup, that ever elusive Holy Grail,
thus needed to Focus with much ado
about nothing, while

brows scrunched – mad as Jew
pitter by Zeus snorting like
angry red Taurus bulls - do
tee fully kicking up Tempo
like nobody's business ready
to serve their Mazda at heart,
a Legacy Sub (burr rue)  
tricked up as a gnu
that's all Volks-wagon
bidding adieu before
I Escalade from ridiculous
to the sublime.

alternately titles: I got noose for you,
Yours truly doth garrotte tee
another itsy bitsy,
betsy wetsy easy breezy read.

oft times ('specially
these latter unsainted days and nights)
in white satin death
doth haunt me atheistic zeitgeist
which thoughts of my demise
crowds out purposeful thinking
in the twitching mind kampf
paradigm of this atheist
hence, he betook himself
to this MacBook Pro,
while swiss side dull ideations

for professional intercession, could not wait
asper affecting cathartic,
purgative, harmonic tête-à-tête
and providing a meaningful surrogate
to expunge morbid mental state
accessed Open Office
and let fingers
(of left hand) do talking heads
to an imaginary therapist
across this qwerty keyboard

allowing, enabling, and
at the quickest typing rate
striving to captcha dismal, gloomy,
and ill lust tree us
deplorable mood aye equate
with pitching into
a bottomless abyss where pate
fed ceaseless diet of NON GMO –
a last repast
the grim reaper did orchestrate

gluten free, an extra heavy dose
of monosodium glutamate,
which ingredient doth
BuzzFeed thine appetite
for total mortal exterminate
'thou no need n re:coe fermi to rush,
where angels fear
to tread, cuz but better Nate
than lever, the apothegm,
credo, ethos...Kate
(the caterer maintains

an open exit from life,
and cares only
that each soul doth feel elan,
joie de vivre, and psalm times
a leaping lemur chants, ecstatically finally
gustatory humming don't jubilate
for your final homecoming, or else
the mailer daemon lived
a devilish dervish life will instigate
de coup age d'etat, but such extreme

measure for measure heed doth hate
yet exceptions always made for a date
particularly when henchmen to die for
golden age opportunity
to ****** a generic guy a create
an underground soiree will cease,
when ashes master
of hell raising
unpleasant circumstances twill use as bait
let underground missionary be advocate.

December 27th, 2023,
the missus pounded mine posterior
(she played paddywhack
on me blimey buttucks)
not only causing contusion,
but flaying percussive rumpus,
where the wild things are
found yours truly feeling
like a cross between a bongo drum
and a Ubangi
(also spelled Ubangui, Ubanghi, or Oubangui).

Meanwhile good n plenty
good vibrations
(cue the Beach Boys) resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
drumming, flagellating
and whipping gluteus maximus
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed pecker
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse
ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking
give doggone husband reprieve
undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, beating fleshy derrière
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
once formerly cute palm pilot size *****,

now subjected courtesy
cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest
against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
me lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee spouse ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything
(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
feels comfortably numb.

Thee aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arise, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye
lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom
(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily
spindled, lacerated, and bruised.

After swatting *****
until backside a deep angry red,
she (the bride of
twenty seven and a half years)
turns me over and spanks the monkey.

a sixty four year old married bloke
born January 13th, mcmlix
under Capricorn sign in general,
and January 13th in particular
who dons online personage
with custom (think
swiftly tailored harried styled)
made poetic raiment cloak.

With my scrunched  
and bushy furrowed brow
I often ponder precise circumstances
that linkedin yours truly to be born
tracing back lineage of self
or arbitrary individual
unpredictable as the dow
reckoning a series of events
sustained life similar
to sowing seed of corn

ruminating fragile nascent organism
at the mercy of fate flourished and how
taxing me mind how each score
composed for each
to toot their own horn
aware that just slightest
off beat fluke determined
from millennia ago or now
that particular organism –
whether one celled entity

or beings that can mourn
the loss of kindred members –
food for thought
for able bodied/minded bard,
who pledged marital vow
like this poet, whose presence
a mere fluke of circumstances possibly torn
at any point in distant past
rendering me absent,
and hence unable to utter wow
evincing expression care worn.

At what crap shoot of circumstances
wrought Matthew Scott Harris to be
cognizant of the self
and world wide web
or follow threads back in time,
albeit not more than
a couple generations –
whereby emigrants did flee
from supposed Eastern European swath
in general finding thyself to rhyme
for no reason,  just as other creatures
great or small occupy themselves with glee

or just groveling along
at bare ***** knuckle existence
without a dime
less apt to own luxury  
how **** sapiens
purportedly evolved from monkey,
whereby harsh ill fate
tempts them into life of crime,
when perhaps riches
with kingly figures
loomed large in their family tree
begat courtesy making whoopie.

A genealogical limb
branching off way back
when back in the day
glorious personalities
populated genealogy to boot
twisting a tortured destiny
somewhere o'er the rainbow
along Yellow Brick Road way
setting stage for rags when
once August ancestry buried in loot
yet tis quite frivolous
to bemoan present woes or even pray
to win lottery turning attention
to how like our ancestral gingko

or Geico gecko newt
dwelling in rich primordial
egg drop soup
wantonly in massive bay
inexorably transformed
(by dint of dice throw)
per flora to take root
as well fauna to mutate
into species and genus
trumpeting horns heard
signaling Santa Claus
in his trademark red suit
on land to assay.

Punctuated equilibrium
first proposed by
and Niles Eldredge in 1972
gave rise to variety
to an assortment of animals and plants
perhaps also contemplating genetic grants
this one speck of flotsam
in particular owned
a passion for contra dance,
whereby others from massive beasts
to microscopic organisms
scurry hither and yon to and fro
essentially to be alive for lifetime,
nevertheless a mere blink of an eye
all due (in my view) to chance
to self taught amazing uncles and aunts.

this Xmas eve day 2023

After a top secret clandestine conclave,
one or more sans eight Reindeer forsake
played cow word, and spelt, spilt, spoilt,
et cetera doe fill full heartbreak,
which Santa Claus immediately claimed
to be “FAKE” and accused (Jake)
i.e. Jacob Marley hook concocted game over,
viz every doe done
possibly really espy
from Charles Dickens renown

“A Christmas Carol”
comprised of many undercurrents,
asper what might appear as placid lake
which proclamation, he immediately
alluded, directed, reputed Putin to make,
which Russian leader
fed rumor mill to rattle and quake
an entablature, fixture,
signature je ne sais quoi linch pin,
which quintessential, prominent,

off limits agitation didst slake
thirst of said tyrannical
uber Voldemort, who glowed
(like the nose of Rudolph), and cherished
folklore idolized love,
would be in seventh heaven to take
credit, which resignation
could pronounce grief
and keep children ah wake

across the world wide web
an a palling gloomy dark
shadow (analogous to
edge of night) falls heavy
across the entire glommed globe,
where even the hark
cunning angels experience a mark
kid lee downcast misery
even affecting plants,
whereat trees slumped over in every park
and nary a solution
to tempt motley crue to avoid such stark

action, but spat out a litany of grievances
unseemly behavior not anew,
but ongoing (quite a shock to learn of caribou
in upper management) via prurient axe,
possibly commingling with questionable emu
but, no matter, these voiced
fur row shuss transgressions soon flew
and spread like wildfire,
whence this virtuous
claque seemed to be a glue
me pack of sordid, revolting,

traversing engaging with elves hoo
fing Alabaster Evergreen, Pepper Minstix,
Shinny Upatree...holy Jew
Peter, thee names
all these centuries sin hissed stir
opprobrious lurid tabloid fodder,
nobody suspected, nor knew,
now nothing could be done except
to arrange an emergency session
with head honchos possibly,
they exchanged tidbits
while utilizing the loo

fast forward after a slapdash
public relations forum opted to arraign
every suspect, even
that oft spotted whooping Crane
(named Stephen) and, how in tarnation can
(or should) an adult explain
to their son or daughter,
that salacious behavior
cannot disappear via

Trump peon strategy to gain
say contrary facts, now this poet break
fast for a repast in the main
thenceforth, the December holiday
will be sober and plain
but taking peremptory measures
to block fireplace flue so no errant rein
deer gets brazen and seeks rapprochement
against immoral attain in vain.

written twelve years ago
when yours truly about two score
and twelve years old,
and fishy financial fiasco
about twenty six weeks
before being scalloped
courtesy villainous fraudster
otherwise known as scam artists,
blithely, glibly, and pliantly
fleeced with shear trickery
my coveted nest egg.

TO: TWO PRECIOUS HARRIS LASSES
WHO LIVE ON GREENTREE LANE
THIS FAST APPROACHING CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY
AS WILL READILY BECAME PLAIN
RECEIVED A SPARTAN GOVERNMENT LARGESSE
WHICH AFFORDS PRESENT
ONLY ONE BOX OF COAL APIECE
DISAPPOINTMENT THIS PA
HUMBUG ** HUM FELLOW
WILL TRY TO EXPLAIN.

OUTRAGEOUS COSTS
TO CLOTHE ELVES
WHAT WITH DESIGNER CLOTHES
AND THE LATEST TECHNOLOGICAL GIZMO
NEARLY BROKE THE PIGGY BANK
IN ADDITION TO FEED THE REINDEER
COMPOSED OF BUCKS AND DOES
THIS I TELL YOU
TO BE EARNEST AND FRANK
WHICH GRUELING BUSINESS
NEARLY FOUND LITTLE ***(ETS) FROZE
THIS GOVERNMENT ACTION
NO HALLOWEEN PRANK
NEARLY FOUND ME BEHIND BARS
ADDING TO UNFORTUNATE WOES.

SMALL TOKENS ACQUIRED
BY THE ABILITY TO SCRIMP AND SAVE
A PITTANCE COMPARED
TO LAST YULETIDE
YET NO INTENT TO BE MEAN SPIRITED
NOR RANT OR RAVE
FOR BOUNDLESS LOVE SPILLS FORTH
FROM SENSITIVE PRIDE
NO MATTER SOME
PERCEIVE ME UNSAINTLY
PURSE NICKETY KNAVE
RANK AS A WORSE CREATION
THAN FRANKENSTEIN’S BRIDE.

TRY TO REMEMBER
TIS THE THOUGHT
FROM WITHIN TO GIVE EACH
AND EXTEND THE SPIRIT
OF GOOD CHEER
THAT COUNTS MORE
THAN SPEND LAVISHLY
AND TO REALLY TEACH
SO CHERISH EACH
AND EVERY MOMENT
WITH PASSION TO SPARE.

NOW ONWARD AND UPWARD **
WITH THE SOUND OF SLEIGH BELLS
BACK TO THE NORTH POLE
THIS POOPED OUT HERD WILL GO
AND THE EXPECTED GIFT
FROM THE MISSUS A LUMP OF COAL
PLUS A LAUNDRY LIST
OF DUTIES PERFORMED
WHILE ENDURING TEMPERATURES
(INCLUDING WIND CHILL FACTOR)
THAT FEEL LIKE…
WELL BELOW ONE HUNDRED BELOW.

10:27 Post Meridiem
Eastern Standard Time,
Thursday December 21
Location: 2 Highland Manor Drive
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
40.2562° N, 75.4638° W
Sunrise time: 7:31 am↑(121°)
Sunset time: 4:46 pm ↑(239°)
Day length: 9:14:42.

Mine circadian rhythm pulsates bright
imperceptible increments of daylight
increase fantasy fanciful heavenly flight
as I imagine myself
Icarus fearlessly gaining height
blindly heading into sunbeam light
strongly advised courtesy experts to travel

toward nearest star at night,
nevertheless unbeknownst plight
awaits me should foolhardiness
skew sense and sensibility right
off kilter yours truly blithely soars
reins of waxed wings held tight.

Plus I, a garden variety generic guy
aging long haired pencil neck geek
who presently wonders why,
rare astronomical phenomena
hashtagged great conjunction 2020 doth defy
illusory phenomena whereby,

two largest planets of solar system
about 1095 five days ago
Jupiter and Saturn separated in the sky
amateur astronomer seen
courtesy visible/ naked eye
6 arcminutes at their closest point,
which was the closest separation
between the two planets since 1623.

Inhabitants upon solar systems far and wide
will find Earthlings and aliens alike
their curiosity well supplied
out of world event
sponsored courtesy monopolists.

American Family Insurance
chose home renovation
duo Drew and Jonathan Scott
aka Property Brothers sweat equity
find fixer-uppers and transform them
into dream homes
use state-of-the-art imagery programs
to unveil their plans for how
properties will look after transformation,
but potential home buyers
have to take risk
to make the twins' vision come true,
and it's up to Jonathan and Drew
to convince the couples  
purchasing an older home
in need of work is best option.

also known as
noteworthy Trader Joe's patrons
bass sic lee did treble themselves
conducting taping jam session
assembling (boxing), compiling,
and hermetically sealing tight as a drum so,
a razor sharp machete blade got dull
trying to open in vain said holiday cheer
of awesome delicious goodies,
(especially the yummy

stuffed vine leaves with rice),
which holiday care package
received without fanfare
for this common man,
whose younger sister
(vibrant as Appalachian Spring),
nevertheless wiser sibling
Shari Harris-Dunning
a **** (hard) at work
tantalizing, teasing, titillating
as a lead wrapper from home grown

organic foodstuffs, she and her bandmates
helped fit perfectly, meticulously,
and snugly together
analogous to outsize constituent components
of intricate jumbo puzzle pieces
amazingly, mathematically,
and thematically linkedin
bearing gifts subsequently mailed
(courtesy the United States Postal Service)
from Bend, Oregon
to Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Lemme amplify how creative, innovative,
and opinionative yours truly (me)
a humble wordsmith,
who exhibits his freestyle trademark
Scottish matted style avante-garde,
one run of the mill (by the Floss) bard
wannabe wants to rave about your card,
he presumes unbridled
posthumous fame will ensue
after his lovely bones disintegrate
courtesy cremation, which cremains
symbolically distributed across

all four points across the globe,
cuz the earth will solely serve him
as eternal terrestrial graveyard
ashes repurposed hard
to believe buzzfeeding, jump/
kick starting seeds of life
and white lily obliterating ill-starred
legacy which afflicted one mortal
named Matthew Scott Harris,
whose chronic assault
with mental health issues
undermined realizing his potential.

Into the void of cosmic oblivion
eventually goeth as masterly cell bait,
the once unique human
(cited above) as scripted inevitable fate
of all creatures great and small
death promises to liberate
uniting one garden variety,
and generic soul
linkedin among Spiritus Mundi
a never ending tête-à-tête.

Panoply of mystical elements of holly day style
breathe prez sense frostily exhaled aired
per millennia athwart
(this terrestrial spaceship planet Earth)
two plus seventeen carousel rides resonated
veritable pantheon of pagan rituals
and quirky superstitions lit
(akin to a lit Christmas tree)

starry eyed imagination
as catalyst viz **** Sapiens
furrowed stern brow of forehead
aft stemmed whilst Santa oft puzzling
(allocating suitable gifts)
inducing him to tug thought generating beard
pondering, whence agents provocateurs
receive just desserts

fueled hodge podge, mish mashed, helter skelter
eclectic December twenty fifth
encompassing tens of thousands previous generations
bred despacito fixtures via paganism,
Manichaeism, Jainism, et cetera
ancient brutish credos, ethos, faiths
brewed nebulous concoction
within mindset of early mankind

loose confection, confederation, conglomeration
indiscriminately torquing, vetting, whetting
disparate constituent beliefs
contagion wrought spirit paradigm
inculcating oral tradition Madonna and child
occupying high chair
whereat superstitions birthed patchwork
comprising divergent ensemble heralding

tender petsmart impact, where world wide web populated
with sacrificial pacification sans deity
via oblation, immolation, flagellation appeasing *******
borrow wing, vis a vis amalgamated viz Roman sol invictus
wrought fiery brimstone tempting those who dared
assert contrary fledgling jambalaya outlook
provoking regally supreme sacerdotal wiseman
punishing opposing incorporating

novel modus operandi explaining sacrilegious worship
such heretics pitched headlong
into fiendish frothing furnace
forcing obeisance toward primitive popular
identified, honored, glorified father figure
expressing devotion re:
decking the halls of the mountain king,
whence boughs of Juniper sprigs contriving wreaths

sanctifying twisted brambles via sprinkling angel dust
(actually cremated remains of malefactors
stripped of habiliments) during bleak winter
unwittingly interweaving nascent (futuristic)
formally codified bona fied religions
unknowingly, tacitly, silently rendering
quintessential premises obliging
layperson to foreswear locally rooted secular treatises

trounced, trumpeted unction voided
wishy washy antithetical blind faith coalescing edicts
over course of time became established
Greco-Roman imposed group think
disallowing cynics,
diametrically emerging fanatics, skeptics
who (if he/she did not recant
recalcitrant recommended recourse

faced torture amidst throng of madding crowd
as entertainment and forewarning gall
asper those who held steadfast dissimilar views
taught since birth, when citizenry reared
as just a little drummer boy/ girl pipsqueak
taught to stay the course (sans straight and true)
bound without freedom to express contrary aspects
of ways and whyfores, which accepted traditions
controlled each green day

and silent night, wherefore unimaginable ogres
lined straying hip cats
eventually ensnared within warpath,
whence law of the land lend scimitar to smite
any mortal man, woman
or child with flaming torches
licking the heretical body electric,
while defiant individuals
left to burn into decimated
charcoal blackened, ashen corpse.

with Barb Black née Beebee
to help set the ghost
of little ***** Brandt free
(a non German, but germane fellow  
courtesy Craigslist classified
personals of mine invitee
she replied, I took liberty
to Google her first and last name,
and risked calling mentioning,
she qualified as lucky nominee
meaning yours truly hanker
for a barenaked lady
to indulge libidinal ******* spree,
(ahem - no pun intended)
in layman's terms to make whoopie!

Years ago, an outing
with paramour went awry
lower gastrointestinal system
of the down did not comply
dear reader let these lines hopefully edify
and entertain courtesy
garden variety generic guy,
who strives to tickle your fancy
to jollify cause yours truly
tries humor that's no lie
and if receptive

to give feedback please notify
author of these words
who in actuality
counts himself a private-eye.
Picture the opening scene
Cumberland Farms -
in Coatesville, Pennsylvania,
the paramour and I purchase lunch;
she bought the two
Italian hoagies and drinks,
one for me and the other for her.

Upon arriving back
at boudoir place of courtesan,
we inherently, immediately,
got down to monkey business;
each of us carefully unwrapped
our respective submarine;
Between mouthfuls of deli meat and cheese,
(the latter a substance that triggered
nascent irritable bowel syndrome),
I suppressed grimaces of abdominal agony,
which ****** contortions overrode attempts
at non verbal foreplay.

The rapid fire acting power of dairy product
moved bowels of mine faster than
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Despite frequent record breaking
sprints to the bathroom
nothing would forsake golden opportunity
to indulge philandering bacchanalian adultery.

****** ******* the farthest
thought in my mind,
yet I ignored queasiness,
and feigned interest,
no matter intuition
vis a vis gurgly tummy
signaled warning against
engaging in frolicsome escapade,
nevertheless Casanova wannabe
succumbed to arrange himself
in concert with his mistress
two times the ninth highest prime number.

Woody pecker of mine
(a fine specimen male ***** she
highly touted, praised, and notated
courtesy the woman, whose presence
I honorably graced)
perhaps interpreted and intimated
as a fervent desire to rut
(despite lady of the night
having undergone tubal ligation
years before our initial close encounters

of the illicit kind took place
at Evansburg Park,
where after at least
a decade of being celibate,
I experienced premature *******
and soiled my underwear,
which super seminal glue
seals a stronger bond than
another tried and true
rigged with mortise and tenon.

A mortise and tenon joint connects
two pieces of wood or other material.

Woodworkers around the world used it
for thousands of years
to join pieces of wood,
mainly when the adjoining pieces
connect at right angles.
Mortise and tenon joints count as strong
and stable joints used in many projects.

Now lemme loop back
to aforementioned plight
to sorry state of affairs
that found me plagued
with an overactive
internal **** sphincter (IAS)
and external **** sphincter (EAS);

The internal **** sphincter (IAS)
forms the innermost muscular layer
of the **** canal and is a continuation
of the circular muscle of the ******
and ends with a pronounced rounded edge
1 to 1.5 cm caudal to the dentate line
and slightly cranial to the terminus
of the external **** sphincter (EAS).

The missus asked me
(hitherto known as her bozo)
just mere moments ago
to craft humorous poem to glow
nsync with the shiny nose of Rudolph
keeping syncopated metrical flow
thus methought to crow
about being equally as foolish
streaking naked outside at five below
so without further here I go
rattling off gibberish as common Joe
King cole, a merry old soul...
dirt poor, hence without any dough
to embellish endeavor as literary pro,
who also sought to catch eye of Mister Perdue
(yea him of agribusiness fame)
to sacrifice self for New Year's barbecue.

Yours truly repurposed courtesy rigged
easy to assemble cannibalistic spit
with large fig leaf covering puny naughty bit
meekly (née willingly) surrendered
matter of fact, I paid with bitcoin chit
recognized latest currency
ever since legal tender easily susceptible
and oftimes confused as counterfeit
money forged, smelted, and hammered
linkedin with pendulum that swung within pit.

Thus analogous to
Five Chinese brothers immune
yours truly constituted
more'n one secret boon
such fiery flames (hot enough
to melt like molten rock)
could harm not a hair
of one **** sapien baboon
matter fact simian in question
could become swell

think hot air balloon
allowing, enabling and
providing me quick escape
national anthem playing
as most popular tune,
a capella, I simultaneous croon
as hot embers snap, pop, and crackle
token human crisply cooking
taking place at high noon
despite the most ferocious typhoon,
no worry, I defy being drowned

survival skills inherited
sophisticated quirky protozoa
symbiotic eukaryotes
since time immemorial
livingsocial within tight quarters
with not mushroom
to maneuver - oh... hold on,
cuz I will be done lame
reasonable rhyme really soon
ah... just about done
getting cooked the color maroon.

As will be accurately surmised, yours truly trends toward being atypical, basically comical dude, ethically fantastical, generally hemispherically intact, jokingly kooky, linguistically minded, nonestablishmentarian, opportunistic, poetic, quintessentially righteous, sartorially tacky, unpretentiously voluble, wittily xyst, yearningly zestful.

A written account (that incorporates some self directed hyperbole) of this veritable stranger now appears before your screen. Soon after reading this message, the neighbors might discern a blood curdling series of (hyena-like) shrieking screams. No worry. That would just be the mating call of the hairy Harris mama bear.

Ready! Set! Click!

A scary reflection greets me whenever I summon up enough steely courage to take a sneak peek into the mirror. Before the spider lines start to appear across the shiny surface and subsequent cracks and fissures dissolve the glassy surface these deux hazel colored, myopic bespectacled eyes quickly absorb a most frightful countenance and visage.

That near legendary and trademark feature of longish, wavy and brown straggly hair seems to fill the entire view. Hidden among that avant garde rhapsodic bohemian, Cro-Magnon, Neolithic, non-every-man style of un-styled locks (interspersed with silver follicles indicative of acquired worry per fighting off that garden variety prehistoric creature) can be discerned a brutish, nasty and short proto-human with a high forehead, which allows, enables and provides more skin surface to bang against the wall when frustrated.

My somewhat outsize ears and longish neck (I swear exist, which contrary to popular myth never seen by living persons) support this egg shaped (fried or scrambled some might argue) head.

A mostly flat and hairless chest attests to a regular regimen of light (self-concocted) chest-pounding routine. Exercise (as well as meditation) a vital part of my daily program to deal with the ordinary stresses of primitive existence. Coffee happens to be the sole vice, which exotic brews provide that helpful jump-start. I sometimes even chump on the cup to keep these teeth sharp.

Now to that locale known as the ****. Although the unseen forces of biology and genetics dealt me an itsy bitsy, tiny ***** (which serves as the but for fellow Apes to taunt and tease) such anatomical feature offers little value as the worthiness of ****** prowess. This palm pilot sized gluteus Maximus offers one benefit.

Ease to squeeze into tight spaces without getting stuck. This tiny ***** accompanied by a vestigial and teeny-weensy ****** schnitzel of a phallus, which undersized **** a doodle do bulges into an erectile state within shooting distance of that coveted warm, wet and wooly private world property of each and every woman.

A pair of skinny (flamingo like) legs (covered in a adequate hair) now completes this general character sketch.

Does this suffice? After attempting to envision some vague essential apparition or near facsimile of what barely passes muster as a Caucasian male, I wonder if you happen to be less or more favorably disposed toward some healthy interaction of body, mind and spirit.

If not yourself, I wonder if you know if any local cave woman close to unit B44? Maybe great ape as yourself to make grunting noises with me?

Now if you would politely excuse me, I MUST scavenge for some berries, exotic tree bark or that stray small and wild game.

Contact me via banging rocks together asap.

Yours truly just a fluke of the universe
worming his way hook, line and sinker
thru the meandering time stream,
which current speeds up the older I get
rocketing toward my sixty fifth birthday
January thirteenth two thousand twenty four.

A garden variety (generic) agrarian wannabe
antiauthoritarian, bookish antiquarian bloke,
antitotalitarian, well mannered barbarian
disestablishmentarian, egalitarian, futilitarian,
grammarian, quasi hereditarian, latitudinarian,
libertarian, majoritarian, nonsectarian,
nonvegetarian, proletarian, sexagenarian,
Unitarian who receives social security
disability courtesy once paralyzing
lacerating, and debilitating anxiety.

Yours truly amazingly
chronologically, enigmatically,
gracefully, interminably weathered
despite malevolent mental maelstrom,
linkedin with extinction of **** sapiens
in tandem with many flora and fauna
populating planet Earth
courtesy Manhattan Project
when Ernest Rutherford split the atom.

Fiendish and gruesome
phantasmagoric denizens
dwell deep inside subterranean vault
perform an evil dance
haunt psychic landscape
with imaginary (yet realistic)
gargoyle visitations cast macabre trance
nocturnal unconscious invaders
cavort and gallivant
disturb quiescent sleep with
devilish and sinister prance.

Apparitions crept stealthily
into peaceful slumber receptacle
repository whence illusory
landscape of dreams
take place to rejuvenate exhausted
body, mind and spirit triage
rent asunder blissful sleep
with a startled fright
cold sweat drenched
nighttime garments and bedding
teeth chattered uncontrollably
heart pounded loudly inside chest
nightmarish phantoms wrought
an awful ghoulish sight.

Mushroom cloud anniversary
triggered frenzied gargantuan hallucination
since 6 August 1945, at 08:15
inauguration into atomic age took place
one country after another sought
to acquire demonic and destruction devices
maintain self-preservation in
surreal atomic weapons race
impossible to escape the dark threat
that looms and threatens life on Earth
one launched missile spells extermination
across entire global space.

No escape from humankind military machines
munitions march mean madness
and guaranteed demise to all life
**** Sapiens violent history of
bias, intolerance and/or prejudice
characterizes vicious warfare
and chronic species strife
unaffordable legacy for future,
(and perhaps alien) archeologists
who will sift thru civilization debris
with delicate knife.

Artifacts buried in heap of pulverized
and radioactive ash
civilization monuments
and hedonistic symbols
gone in a blinding brilliant flash
irksome flotsam and jetsam
spewed into outer space
alien nations light years distant
collect miniscule bits and pieces
offer object lesson as extinction
for beings that become excessively brash.

offers his interpretation of critical race theory

I, (an articulate, charming, domesticated,
erudite, friendly, genteel, humorous, intelligent,
kind, learned, male, albeit modest – married)
with freshly clipped formerly gnarly toenails
discounts the popularized myth
encompassing world wide
webbed historical events
despite being taught Northern Europeans
owned preeminent supreme paradigm,
whereby hegemony instituted,
enforced, and blanketed
upon conquered peoples.

Blissful innocence shattered,
when nasty brutes across Atlantic Ocean
staked claim where
Nations of descendents
at least 15,000 years ago
possibly much earlier,
migrated from Asia via Beringia
and called their home
what eventually became United States.

Violence exerted to wrest control
and subdue native populations,
whose culture clubbed,
and ofttimes obliterated
from face of the Earth.

Lower Providence
public school curriculum
circa mid ninety sixties
to late ninety seventies
omitted teaching students
(case in point - yours truly)
about contemporaneous earthlings
grappling with business of livingsocial

buzzfeeding (courtesy fancy feast)
aside from hashtagged explorers
jackknifing indigenous tribes
kickstarting exploitation against
rightful owners of the land,
which usurpers against natives
dark shadows of former banished latter
to outer limits of twilight zone.

Self anointed discoverers
applied misnomer "Indians"
to bipedal hominids,
who originally occupied Turtle Island
unbeknownst to latter
frankenstein like mailer daemons
dwelt in subterranean psychic realm
wrought havoc upon rational landscape helm
at horrific tragic strewn source of catalepsy,
which near mortal blow took place
probably occurred at
mine boyhood happy hunting grounds
demesne named Glen Elm.

Think metaphorical collision course
induced straggling survivors who cried
foul, when foreigners credo, fiat,
and indeed latitudinal
manifest destiny linkedin
with eminent domain cruel fiends decried
wrought major genocide
lamentable attempt at war whoop
impossible mission to defeat
fortifications allowed, enabled
and provided secure place to whip hide,
(albeit unfairly) to seek
then ***** out aboriginal pure tin pride.

Analogous to violent upheaval
along major fault line shift
caused major emotional tectonic plate
to rent asunder and irrevocable seismic rift
and deliver sanity into Hades gate
seismic alteration (albeit metaphoric)
sheared apart major tectonic plate
Richter scale needle
absorbed mental quake shock

registered brain wave bereft
regarding annihilated state
igneous allusions equate
gray matter to liquid rock
existential catastrophe casus belli
of such egregious fate
now finds me here
experiencing writer’s block,
where creative juices cease to create.

The fount and receptacle of inventive wit
gives vent and voice to ply me craft
as I tried to capture elusive
ideas awkwardly fit
in some metrical schema
from out my literary sword and haft
with at least one eye on prize money
maybe even win title of laureate

showing true grin and grit
epitomizing my rather
iconic style dapper and daft
trademark genre ranked
by other in league with a nitwit
prompting me to ponder another draft
one more apropos
and more comfortable misfit.

I attribute being a grown mad scientist
linkedin with tacit approval of parents
(both long gone to the smoky afterlife),
and donned wizard trumpeting magic spells
while dark and stormy night
(one week before Halloween),
which usher nostalgic memories
encapsulated within the following poem
initially drafted quite some years ago.

Both parents possessed pedigreed panache
(but especially my father – renown Chemist
B.B. Harris and to slightly lesser extent
late culinary cuisine queen Harmit Harms
Kuritsky - gal whose troth thy then still
livingsocial nonagenarian widower papa
pledged, while holding some bubbling
sinister looking flask in hand while both
donned trumpeting finessed affianced
doctored formula to marry, when both
partook of blind date.

This combustible transunion link analogous
to their representative first electric kool aid
basic laboratory litmus test date), which
took place without a hitch, and telepathically
encouraged begetting retinue of revered
sons and daughters, whose ken hopefully
burned with passion KRISPR incubated,
inculcated, and incurred genetic outlook
ideally transmitted to prolific brood
of begotten babes.

This kid felt embers crackling, popping,
and snapping with yen that burned from
within and without buns sin burner of this
cingular earthlinked son.

No matter a bit tentative to experiment
*****-nilly (wonka like) with rather
explosive materiel, I received truckloads
of ammunition (in tandem with benevolent
benediction) to foster dare devil and
derelict pyromaniac precocity.

Those initial awkward formative forays
assaying, assessing and carefully calibrating
this, that or other liquid or powdery substance
found me meticulously measuring and
weighing the substances using kitchen
midden malodorous kid gloves.

Frequent disappointment arose from
yours truly as well as momma and papa
when net result (of these early attempts
to blend powders and/or liquids) merely
fizzled and self extinguished
into near inaudible ****.

Continual daily practice (would lead way
for me to enter Carnegie – Mellon ---- Hall)
after countless travails, trials and trolls i.e.
uber vaporous wisps to lyft yawping banshee
like holograms, or equivalent of 10,000 maniacs)
eventually bore successful fruit in the form
of near perfect results.

Success in hotly contested field Pyrotechnics
requires striking resemblance
to any other vocation.

One must be able, eager, ready and willing
to maintain burning passion no matter any
unforeseen setbacks or heat from an
objectionable source.

Yes, there would be an errant conflagration
(sometimes set purposely by adjunct professor)
as object lesson to master usage of fire
extinguisher/fighter, a vital piece of equipment
and evenhandedness for getting hold
instantaneously jetting kickstarter live matches)
to contain any runaway flame.

I do sheepishly admit to (ahem) you
on occasion the outcome went awry.

Nonetheless, they prided their potential
fire branded wizard in the making with
kudos and praise with DYNAMITE.

Practice from indiscriminately creating
unpredictable concoctions, these lethally
marshaled nonchalant opportunities
provided quintessentially random results
though usually very wimpy in tandem
with totally tubular nerdy, geeky, freaky,
and dorky beastie boy.

As proof positive and proud testimony, they
proudly pointed (upward) to the kitchen ceiling.

There such handiworks practically covered
entire ceiling with variegated splotches.
These scorch marks keepsake frescoes to show
kith and kin unspecified years into smoky future.

Quite accurate to assume
father and mother coached,
goaded, and nurtured
exploratory ambitions and
tried not to stifle
(at least consciously or deliberately)
my early stage ambition
toward scientific artiste bent.

As homeschooled and to some extent self taught
chemically romanced muralist, I grew up (not
surprisingly) in Unitarian household paid
close attention also adhered to the pioneer spirit.

The near limitless boundaries of life, liberty and
pursuit of understanding
an underlying credo, which
allowed, enabled and provided near endless
experimentation even at the risk of life and limb.

Aside talking head
nearly burning down the house
amidst talking heads practically in dire straits,
an instinctive reflex found me immolating myself,
occasionally singeing the canine fur of Lady,
Schultz, or Socrates, et cetera no frightful
catastrophic outcomes occurred thru milieu
of mixing deceptively harmless looking
inert raw materials.

Trial and error (quite successful with latter)
via blithely cooking dicey elements forming
goulash hiccupping laboratory mishmash
practically eliminated any pained regret to take
daring risks (such as getting married – ha)
in later life.

Despite favorable and lovable upbringing,
my mother (ever the protector and/or proctor
of our family and an excellent chef boyardee
to boot) still managed to insinuate (gently
as possible) the necessity to be careful when
igniting flammable materials lest
some uncontrollable conflagration ensue.

She (mom) did frequently confess to feeling
ever so slightly jittery and uneasy with my
slapdash amateurish homebrewed pyrotechnics
and much preferred to steer my attention toward
safer hobby such as the edible objets d’arts i.e.,
the much more drab field per how to present
and aesthetically appealing and nutritious meal.

Fondness to prepare food and pretend to be
faux renowned cook (this confession admitted
rather baldly and obviously deduced) actually
competed for my most favorite avocation activity
and spare leisure time.

In other words, this chap did relish designing
his own recipes mainly from leftovers in tandem
with unpronounceable multisyllabic organic
compounds filled numerous sized dishes
and aged apothecary bottles respectively.

Without question though, the passion plus
less riskier factor to combine and potchka
dry and wet ingredients together did rank
as considerably safer medium that still
allowed, enabled and provided me an equal
opportunity to test reactions, than those
earlier iterated potentially explosive hazards.

Nonetheless, my cavalier crusading overactive
appetite, hunger and thirst to discover causative
outcomes (even with purportedly innocuous
looking household cleaning supplies or easily
acquired inert materiel) nearly witnessed an
apocalypse at three two four Level Road
on one particular nasty occasion.

I anticipated our domicile would become
rent asunder, and reduced into a black
and decker ashen funeral pyre, yet for
grace of some divine force no family
members nor pets succumbed
nor got asphyxiated from choking acrid air.

Even as old (dish) married
(spooning) curmudgeon,
who receives social security disability
linkedin with social anxiety)
chose the fork less traveled
aye pucker with sunken cheeks,
(especially without dentures)
and raspily suction toothless mouth
drawing reminiscent guffaws affecting
attempt impersonating plumber

(think unclogging toilet)
please support your local ******
back in the day one
long haired pencil neck geeks palled
around with another
hirsute nerd - Roger Kummerer,
(who both of us graduated Methacton
High School class of 1977),
and yours truly readily
admitting, alluding, and attesting

without shadow of doubt
representing the dumber
than rocks of said beastie boys
bandits, donning particolored pachyderm
gabardine garb getup trumpeting,
especially as Mummer
on each New Year's Day
with bare *** tuchus
excellently imitating courtesy said orifice
(as chief motormouth) sound
of combo motorboat hummer.

Ah... the joys of amazingly aging gracefully
happily recalling never being
beat into ****** pulp dully
imagining dimming sense and sensibility
before (appearing gratefully dead)
lifeless body dumped into gully
nonetheless all the while fully
maintaining conscious, and forcefully
summoning forth latent powers gleefully
choking living daylights masterfully

delivering just desserts upon Tom Viglione,
whose plaintive laments truthfully
resonate as blessed music
to ears unaccustomed hearing pitifully
sounding long overdue comeuppance
forever disbelieving wrongfully
perpetrated injustice
witnessed impossible mission
fueling an ordinarily meek lad
only in his dreams, he envisions zestfully.

Pugnacious thuggish hooligans... although
decades long since elapsed, whereby hoodlums
jockeyed to rain one after another verbal blow
threatening introverted diminutive boy
who, no surprise did eventually,
albeit (stuntedly) grow
(as an aside resembled anorexic
Santa Claus **... **... **...)
still wracked, impacted, affected...,
this punster, he haint Joe
King, but upholds valuable humor less or mo'
feebly, lamely, and quirkily aspires toward po'
whit tree linkedin with infusing,
(no matter ex post facto)
freeing mine unsung hero.

so u real???
Warning! The following choppy, batty,
*****: elegy = flaky, goofy, history: iffy,
jumpy, kooky: loopy, matty, *****, nippy,
sketchy material prone to find the reader
dazed and bewildered, yet comfortably numb.

Modern Roam Min Times – mesh
THERE IS NO RELATION WITH THE
EPIC OF GILGAMESH (abridged from
brook land) AND THIS VIGNETTE – in ma Englesh.

thank a u faux sis
this married sexagenarian
encloses his poetic opus
the smooching this celibate
(sleep as a cellar dweller) chap doth miss
shaw wish i could give hew a kiss
though ye might rip ply with a hiss
that would usher inxs of x2c Noah obliging bliss.

while perched within mine
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania aerie
this totally mishmash, succotash, n trash -
hoopfully finds ya cheery
so...hallo n greetings ma dearie
just faw bean help ming this fool

i.e. myself who haint no fairy,
boot possibly the missing humankind link
cuz o be yin - head to feet - completely as hairy
Siamese twins with names Tom n Jerry
'though ye might disbelieve moi n feel leery
n doubt every word written -

but try 2 feign b ying merry
while i pose the following philosophical query...
to make sense = deciphering billy shakes perry
now take a mooch needed break cuz,
the following gibberish might beak comb quite weary.

Is society a better world to live in with less or more?
boy! those Everclear caveman days were brutish,
nasty, short and rough. that aside, though
no Culture Club, Fancyfeast, nor Iggy Pop
the Flintstone era a bit raucous, riotous, and
yabba dabba with Doobie Brothers rubble ye us.

Def Jam, ear splitting cacophony felt like
listening to partying beastie boys on a vampire
weekend competing with Def Leopards roar
n rush shin version of hells bells, Inxs of pulp
fiction sung backwards by cold play, or a brutally
nasty, yet thankfully short version per youtube
video drowning out beach boys straight out ta

Compton winking in the hood while loud Quiet
Riot !@#$ growls shook B52 sized bats overhead,
when this grizzled papa bear disturbed (like
twittering angry birds), and forced to wake
prematurely from hibernation set his seething
animal anger to boil, and smoke to issue from
jack rabbit *** nine looking Don Quixote ears.

argh! go. whar art thou Cello Yo Yo Ma?

the gumption from this then profoundly gap toothed,
high browed, red necked ursine, viperous spouse getting
one swiftly tailored kick in the bony **** sent me flying
like a twisted sister careening forward out of summer time
sadness air back to the future. right then n tha hair, earth,
wind and fire convinced this **** sapiens he became
another Grateful Dead Foo Fighter.

upon immediate and most unwelcome exposure therapy
to the Avast arctic blast (complete with Arctic Monkey),
this Mama’s and Papa’s Boy (by George) was in no mood
to neither tangle nor play footsie with Mother Nature.

Analogous to The Idler Wheel Is Wiser than the Driver
of the ***** and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More
than Ropes Will Ever Do, I wanted to whip the hide,
when needles of miniature aeroplane shaped snow white
slippery buckshot elements of style kissed, pierced and
smashed against his face from those shoddily made flimsy
animal clothes that barely kept him warm.
Lucky for vat of midnight oil, which shrouded me
in n wispy pearl jam pelt.

Tears for Fears spilled in One Direction (like 10,000
Maniacs bursting from a Soundgarden or highly
revved Motorhead emulating a Quiet Riot).

Wah. Stop crying bellowed the Queen Scorpion
(Poison ing the Air Supply).

Without - dark shadows of a doubt slunk N’Sync
with the twilight zone along the edge of night, these
beatle browed Monkeys (strewn by denim dog gone
hooligans), who cawed like sum Cajun gumbo baboons
as proto Partridge Family for a banana split Sunday
closing out Vampire Weeknd packing a full house
at the Tokyo Hotel.

Anyway, I practically froze off mine scrawny ****.

Dang!

Ooh, how purty, a cute deer.

Out came the bow and arrow.

the feathered lancet described a Nike arc with
Nike like swoosh bulls’ eye.

Upon uttering "hey Lucy i am home", the little
beasts tore their sharp nine-inch long nails into soft raw doe.

Bathe? The (Puddle Of Mud battled crippled creek),
when a dry riverbed doubles up as a mud bed or
washbasin after the springtime flood.

How in the name of judas priest could our ancestors
enjoy feeling like a beast of burden?

who says you cannot always get what you want? Alice
coop er in chains? Beastie boy George Cinderella? Eddie
money? Freddie Mercury? Iron Maiden? Lana del rey?
Jane’s addiction? Pink Floyd? Yes! the entire Motley Crue?

I exhibit health and virility at one hundred and
64 years astride planet earth, whereby spouse,
(who remained married to yours truly for about
one century – which elapsed in blink of an eye)
long since gave up the ghost, which found me
receptive to possible mission to date women
(strong of body, mind, and spirit with frontier
spirit) young enough to be my granddaughter.  

Circa December 4th, 2123, or 1212 military time,
yours truly attempted crafting id est feeble rhyme
far from madding crowd, nevertheless yet lovely
bones and flesh quite spry, still considered prime
(moost procreative, prodigious, and progressive)
stage, since (case ye didn't know) approximately
eight score orbitz round Earth's sun still noontime
chronologically analogous to protracted lunchtime
whereat the average offspring jetson or (daughter)

Born twenty three years into twenty second century alive
and well (still hashtagged as precocious) with drive
to safely, sidestep, and surmount establishmentarian
archaic, formulaic, and mosaic Judaic/Christian give
wry master of words (me) take poetic license to jive
reasonably rhyming nope heart tickle early misthrive
moost definitely ***** deeds done dirt cheap (trick)
super tramping space cowboy lobbing power-drive
re: frequently innocent prelapsarian double entendre
(Jean Jacques Rousseau) Noble Savage he doth strive
even though hanky panky tinged entire his/her story,
**** sapiens animal husbandry hastily did wive.

Bajillion years after proto humans experienced woe
countless figurative early Brady bunched bro doggie
dimples encountered necessity to escape cohabitation
(marital covenant alien), yet quasi marital brouhaha
ofttimes witnessed altercation begetting re: thorough
out baby with bath water phenomena, which literal
cruel fate heavily peppered past (mine) accounting
lamely explaining Pink Floyd momentary status quo
upended accompanied courtesy lapse of reason no

definitive evidence to substantiate claim, yet I know
without shadowed doubt every friggin forebear (***
pining to savor manumission, versus cotton pickin)
back breaking stoop labor think indentured escrow
harking back to days of our lives (mainly bonobo
nasty, short and brutus creatures millenniums ago
unsung simian kindred beings suffering figurative
ruffled horse feathers nsync with bird in hand dodo
which latter species long extinct (as Dutch good eats)

now non sequitur (sea quitter) mine homeboys/girls
comprising Harris eventual clan (of craven lionized
"scapegoats" set genealogical precedent, and grew
some real winners gentiles, who commingled and
intermarried, and united proudly to kvetch as Jew)
eventually acquiring redeeming qualities conveniently
best caricatured as features exhibited by Mister MaGoo
invariably dear reader "fake" anecdote ye will poo poo
as well how storied and fabled coronavirus (COVID-19)

medical technicians reference quaint pandemic setting
figurative global stage brethren and sistern microbes
made webbed, wide world wish for said good ole days
cuz, communique done being crafted about six hours
marine hated, armies of beastie boys slain 2123 yahoo
the darndest, latest microscopic bugaboo nearly slew
entire population, hence envision terra firma with
divine providence absolute zero people as edenic
provenance (metaphorically offering tabula rasa view.

heil to the Wharton chief firebrand -
more worrisome than an ovarian cyst
every race, religion, nationality,
gender, creed, et cetera with impunity dissed
brigand able, eager, ready and willing
to punch contenders throwing his fist
against rival – one nasty and brutish soul
after reading, you get the gist
how dictator wannabe lurching
with tremendous oaf fish shill

blatantly, flagrantly, and glad-handedly
zapping usurping power, breeding dissent
soundlessly slithering,
spreading vile disinformation
onto social media platforms
targeting undecided electorates
analogous to casting dark shadows
across the edge of night
hissed tory revoked eclipsed
loosing unfettered horrors.

Das boot trump out-
(oust him to) Waterloo
Eagerly awaits you
the bully in the white house and true.

Whit that, yawl get a lucky strike
if ya keep yar show
as my Reince prescience foretells this poe
fur one quarter off hiz terminal daze starring down
(with bad medicine), thee ole scarecrow.

╰☆╮ Thankfully, I'm not a royal heir
to the power monger hoarders╰☆╮
which comb hen might handy when borders
hermetically sealed - per heil hit lore
caw zing a furor with his stark jumbo je lay bean orders.

I don't wanna don a duck dynasty outfit,
or that of a woodchucker but...holy mother f*cker
and kudos to any heckler,
who deems steam roller trump as a mean trucker.

Thus - for the umpteenth attempt to post
without any intention
to induce rabid reaction to roast
my *** (albeit scrawny just to be cheeky),
I **** rye America will burn like toast
the legacy of democracy
transparent as a ghost
if....mister money bags - to the finish line
of presidential electorate, he doth coast.

My anti Donald trump screed continues tut try
tip picture conjure pixelated stress less or more
WE MUST DO MORE THAN YODEL LOUD:
(and preach to the choir)
out....out...get...life not death, he seems to ab ****
ding **** Donald drake...out...of...here...
without...his security detail or...coat....of...
(Emperor wears no clothes) armor.

I will not condone political measures
from that mane lion kapo -
jabbering indiscretion.

Herewith follows a poem
(concatenated with above lines)
I dashed off in a huff - to douse
dat auld don trumpeting joie de vivre
fin de siecle utopia of yesteryear
puffin sewerage bilge -
strike n horror n ma eyes -
for opinion aye espouse
based on scary political fracas
and looming nightmare -

whar mo' will grouse
to obstruct trump access
to black keys to white house
that a looming presidential nightmare
doth not become real - gruff louse
he will crush sacred freedoms,
whence western civilization goes off bluff
analogous to a rabid cat terminating
the life of more'n Mickey Mouse.

DUCK AFTER DUMP - PING THE DON -
a pipe dream that will never take shape.

Air ring ma thoughts - no matter aye ham
juiced one twenty first century mwm ape
serves as genuine s cape
to fly (during pitch black hours of night)
on his witch a ma call it...
to escape temporarily the cares and concerns
of an uncertain world,
where as an outlier from madding crowd I gape

at the sheer insanity
trumpeting strumpets donning an innate
prejudice and senselessness purr
blind faith toward self avowed demigod --
seize ***** viz Caesar -

forever linkedin with maxim
Veni, Vedi, Vici - idolized statecraft motto
Trump perfects with his witch's brew he doth stir
his hair coiffed and puffed like it whir
wind blown kickstart ting mobs to stir
paying Deep Purple bodyguards
to evict ruckus-causing murmur
oh...how the masses will let this country
go to hell in handbasket -
blithely purging the Iran Nuclear Deal,
The Paris Climate Agreement

plus rack up stratospheric global debt
cause zing this one measly mortal male to fret
Boom, boom, boom gotta get get
that totalitarian rule will force every man,
woman and child to march....het
two...three...four, while the billionaire
turns a third blind eye speeds away
in his foo fighter jet
argh...heavens to Betsy Ross,
Condoleezza Rice, Nancy Reagan,

Barenaked Ladies, and Goo Goo Dolls,
how did the fickle finger of fate let
this pompous *** allergic
to law and order sowing,
loosing, and fomenting insurrection
crowdsourcing, wherever anarchy met
vacuums up majority votes
across world wide
quartered, (tattered), and webbed net
to finagle vox populi,

and groom hooligan nasty ruffian thugs
with smashed face as his smart pet
GoLong Daddy story short -
pondering my rental circumstance
will be upended if this ret
chad, evil, googly-eyed, gastronomic,
narcissistic bullish Don will set
the spark for world war three -
via gone ah re: ha...ha...ha...to all vet
tureens within the sea to shining cyber sea

American crucible melting *** -
with verbal whips,
whose invective blast sucker punching
DACA, and those
who strain to uphold economic backbone,
he does NOT STOP to undermine stoop labor,
which anonymous backs,
he bloodies via twittering whetstone
unless....Katrina and the Waves, superman
or the Sabrina can oust him yet.

December first nineteen fifty nine and
December first two thousand twenty three
represents sixty six orbitz
one prized Earthling
named Amélie Beth Harris-McGeehan
completed round the sun.

About half her life linkedin
with spousal enrichment,
(while hunkered down livingsocial
in Woodbury, New Jersey),
hence the hyphenated married name.

Though said endearing eldest sister
approximately thirteen plus months my senior,
ofttimes during mein kampf,
she displayed maternal (motherly) mien.

Back during mine boyhood
dark shadows along the edge of night
(emanating from outer limits
of the twilight zone)
spooked me to flinch
as did appearance
of the boogeyman induce affright
only exacerbated my delicate mental health
punctuated psyche of mine
with disequilibrium ******-social blight
above named sibling a protector I cite
twilled me in the valley

of love and delight,
an emotional refuge rescued sought
deliverance from anguish
loving succor proffered
peace upon mine body, mind, and soul,
she did immediately expedite
warming cockles of me heart
analogous to affecting, creating,
forging, jumpstarting, offering, and ushering
ideal paradise island temperature
if measured by degrees balmy fahrenheit
pointing, revealing, shining,

and training a guiding-light
unafraid to defend diminutive
docile, inordinately meek brother,
when threatened courtesy bullies
that significantly towered over mine
below average stature height
a measly little skinny, yet zany
(when within comfort of home) lad
naively oblivious to our mother,
when her first born daughter dynamic,
especially smoldering contention
kindled figurative tinder, which squabble

escalated in intensity
sparking vehement feud to ignite
loosing volatile verbal exchange
triggering The Emergency Alert System
to issue warning
lest clear and present danger
(at 324 Level Road)
recorded in history books
licking, overshadowing, rivaling,
and undermining revolution
kickstarted and hashtagged as Jacobite.

Yup
I sobered up
despite expressing regular
(unleaded and unlettered)
urge to shtup
expunged courtesy
system of a down
with shuga (mush)
and everything nice.

The following crafted some time ago,
when empty nest syndrome
pulled me psyche taut
analogous to an outstretched bow
yet the shadow of mine eldest
of two adult charming progeny,
would be aghast and crow
against her papa posting erotica
elucidating, jumpstarting, parading
adventures of his sorry excuse for *****
cuz he (yours truly)
nearly wrecked marriage

cavorting, gallivanting, lapping
residual womanly exudations
analogous to volcanic Earthflow
witnessing (at mere auto suggestion
of Barenaked ladies bliss,
albeit short lived),
how agnst riddled Pepé Le Pew (mine)
did bulge, expand and  grow
a measly wienerschnitzel
inducing Jolly Green Giant to guffaw
with a hearty **... **... **.

Ever since deux darling daughters
dearly departed dada
for distant horizons where
unknown opportunities
beckon, mine emotional state
like a sinusoidal wave doth veer
above n below this imaginary
cerebral Maginot/Mason
Dixon line me bit size uber Uighur
village people segregated

to a patch of sterile ground
invisible fenced in o’er there
essentially the analogy (if vague)
constitutes a figurative dichotomy
of selves mind canst share
without psychological
tectonic shifts that evoke me
to drift within the continent of Matthew rare
lee ever able, eager n ready to allow, enable
n provide peace of mind –

which doth seem queer
yet to the outside observer
no evident of me
self experiencing wrenching
disequilibrium hup pear
while inside this har noggin o mine
near collisions sans
microscopic airplanes at mine O’hare
interleaved gray matter reactivate
an out of control maelstrom
evidencing as panic attack near

thine thinking plain tarmac expressions
per empty nest syndrome akin
to a foal seeking his/her mare
occasioning this papa to take comfort
in ma man cave lair
cause feeling discombobulated
would invite lookers on to jeer
helter skelter mental state zigzags
defying prediction from Kare
11 (Owned by Tegna Inc.,
the station maintains studios

on Olson Memorial Highway
in Golden Valley and a transmitter
at the Telefarm site
in Shoreview, Minnesota station –
google if ya hear
doubt firing inside yar own
wheels, cogs and functioning gear)
though that philosophical strand
goes off track sans this flair
up of internal distress –

natural after shocks whence e’er
beguiling, charming, doting,
entertaining temptations
(within the fifth dimension) to dare
their nubile bodies to bump up
against (figuratively) clear
indications of autonomy,
dichotomy, globally nascent blare
ring femininity, levity,  reproductively…
within the eth air.

uninvited GUESTS linkedin as the themes of mein kampf.

Despite countless factorial permutations
& combinations, this cyber surfer
avails left and right alm
seeking succor Out Of Human *******
invisibles shackles bind head,
shoulders, knees and toes
mom mee **** sic cured courtesy grim reaper,
boot metastatic cervical/ovarian
carcinoma snatched such balm
when tethered in utero umbilical connection,
etched bromide, which hankering calm
embryonic sensation this corporeal being lacks

constantly subjected to exams
from the brutal school of hard knocks,
which I bewail sets back and glom
mine aim to revel in blissful contentment
but circumstances decrees otherwise
cursing this chap tubby haunted
by veritable elfin grotto dwelling phantoms
hovering over sweet clover - dials a mirage
yes...iris sieve blurbs from gals and guys numb
burred in the billions,
that span the World Wide Web, and exude

premature ejaculatory ecstasy, puzzled if fie
totally tubular trod a tedious trek
along the boulevard of broken dreams,
what happenstance oft finds thyself to flail
amidst difficulty to maximize
optimal opportunities searching for Holy Grail
or whatever constitutes such lofty
personal objective, perchance being hale
and hearty of body, mind and spirit
spurs the furies of fate tut test this primate

while he aims to gallop with mighty industrial
vim and vigor leaving a virtual soundcloud
of dust, though mindfulness helps
to pass go, and chance avoid jail
time, then maybe monopolized feedback offered
to this toothless married quasi herbivore
enjoying poetry stone soup, yet also subsisting
on supplementary vitamin packed glue tin free
NON GMO fruity tall tales for a male
thirty six years shy sans Bing a centenarian,

which span of life best cut short with a nail
(possibly nine inches) hammered into
faux coffin, cuz this imp doth turn pale
at the prospect to fill up a space of land
best utilized by birds - such as quail
Mongoose, or ibis (though aye ne'er saw
one), where cremated ashes sail
across some verdant plain under
cerulean skies putting to rest every travail,
which thoughts of dem eyes spells

relief since potential homelessness,
pennilessness, and wretchedness,
the main impetus explaining
this rambling, shambling, and troubling spiel
the warp and woof ova gauzy veil
imperceptibly looms closer upon
turrets of my digital sea faring gunwale
and thus desperation finds
pleading for monetary
and  spiritual salvation.

Before mine danse
macabre doppelganger draws dagger
punctures the skein tight
as a yank key notched belt
housed within mine impenetrable
hermetically sealed invisible bubble
drapes with blackened Hades
hued habiliment therein dwelt
sinister saboteur mastermind
marauder of the Hubble

tattooing and piercing fiery
oculus rift presence unseen but felt
demands sacrifice to traverse
river Styx with unadulterated gelt,
which known phantasmagorical double
diabolical self amidst aftermath
from Armageddon rubble
astride charred global
ruins entire civilization melt
planetary paroxysm prognosticated

by Maya sages with 11th hour stubble
birthed Darth Vader nemesis
with evil upon earth he did pelt
annihilating, decimating, and hashtagging mankind,
the derelict species that fueled trouble
hence evil twin appointed
apocalyptic malevolence spelt
desiccation, humiliation, and laceration
upon once verdant veldt
with mass crematorium
desecration left horrific blistering welt.

Countdown to **** sapiens extinction
predicted millenniums in past
never occurred as predicted on December 21
two thousand and twelve after common era,
whereby catastrophic spark
detonating inferno incinerating blast
eradicating extant flora
and fauna bereft sans hegira
with no means to interrupt
the die since the dawn of civilization cast.

Impossible mission to escape ominous
predetermined fate of human rat race,
nor turn back hands of time
with origin of species on clock face
thus ticking closer to hour of doomsday
without faith to brace
allowing, enabling and providing Gaia
to redeem terrestrial space
vestiges of teeming billions
soon erased criminal minds without a trace
forcefully relinquishing simians
planetary stranglehold amazing grace
proffering tabula rasa
for another dominant species
to claim the place.

Sirens promulgate emergency
toward impending inescapable cataclysm
yet no place to run or hide lest
one boards a rocket light-years away
which makes suspense thrillers
birthed by countless dystopian authors
enviable plot to keep
total Earth's destruction at bay.

Matthew Scott Harris,
a lifetime America Online
Meme bur hastens to convey dire
crisis sparking to offer electric nom de plume
duyeer93, a papa who did sire
deux darling daughters,
yet for ages hive stung
with hurt early, whence fatherhood did fire
meow n childhood's end fostering people
strangers even fork
getting this communication,

per S0S sprinkled with auk shucks corny,
Egret - letting opportunities take flight aspire
now pleasures soft as gossamer feather bedding
down play hardened angst
riddled psyche, where ire
Ronny gully stubbornly thrives
amidst adversity as father time spins gyre
row scope at greased lightning speed,
intimating with dead reckoning to hire
grim reaper, who **** patient

as Job, and exemplary at ridding mire
and muck bogs down this dada robbing
existence with joie de vivre, where funeral pyre
doth flickr-beckoning GoDaddy, cuz
Juno I haint gonna hear angelic choir
or equivalent enlightenment re:
home sweet home, this atheist doggedly tire
so haim trying keep sea legs
one step ahead of tipping point
envision self pitched into abyss -
thus end of poetic wire.

(a poetic partial fiction
blended, diced, fricaseed,
marinated, mixed, pureed, sautéed,
stewed... with fact)

Hmm... on second thought
lemme join anorexic club
until rib cage protrudes taut and visible
doubling as drum to drub
synchronized within heart of darkness,
especially when electrocardiogram exhibits
absolute zero vital sign,
cardiac arrest translates
as cessation to lub dub,
hence yours truly
declared dead as doornail,
coroner report deems arrhythmia

directly linkedin
to deliberate Machiavellian flub
courtesy the missus attempt to poison me
actually aborted cuz nanobots
loosed upon body gripped with rigor mortis,
a minor inconvenient truth
with earthling in the balance
cuz odorless and tasteless deadly toxins
rendered me convalescing
from bout with death, an oxymoronic
former slenderman gourmand.

Temporarily deceased
until said microscopic robots
avidly analogous to frenzied
figuratively hogtied pigs
buzzfeeding at a trough
creating porcine hubbub
invisible nanoids (0.1-10 micrometres)
accomplished programmed task,
whereby fatal microbes they did scrub
away leaving me fit as a fiddle.

No matter she thoroughly, painstakingly
and lovingly didst strew
haphazardly she threw
leftovers together,
this blustery march like
November twenty fourth figuratively view
wing the remaining thirty plus days
of two thousand twenty three
thoroughly cooked in microwave until...
poor excuse for my meal appeared
with consistency of shoe leather.

Think the missus not afraid
of Virginia Woolf keen to experiment
treating me like the Gingerbread Hag would:
questionable resultant glop pantomimed
for my guessing pleasure,
never figure out in bajillion years
as amateurish Marcel Marceau charade
performance courtesy the spouse,

an entrée she gave - yours truly
immediately sought to evade
me subsequently evincing
horrific puckered mealy mouth
as though I swallowed hand grenade
figurative exploding oral cavity
feeble futile gesticulation inveighed.

Thus, methinks himself wise
to don cooking apron
please do not ask why
trumpeting self as master chef boyardee
so move over wife and allow husband to try
his hand (using skill - let) me prepare Thai
and/or other Asian cuisine dish,
cuz when free to potschke

(To fuss or "mess around"
inefficiently and inexpertly), I haint shy
to blend (indiscriminately) ingredients
ofttimes yours truly barley able to ply
boiling water since significant other
does not give opportunity
to this garden variety
and generic, gimlet eyed
gourmandizing guilt free
Earth friendly gumption
generic goaded guy.

Every so often yours truly
gets so hungry, he could eat a horse
(yours truly jest kidding hoof course)
truth be told, I only eat one meal per day
all day from sunup to sundown, me a force
tubby reckoned with,
who if he gives way to vice
event chew wooly experiences remorse.

Hum glad to share mine reasonably rhyming hook
line and sink cup hated
twenty six letters linkedin amidst
various combinations, formations, permutations,...
allows, enables, and provides a look
into the mindscape of Matthew Scott Harris
doth show himself with steely dangling
nonsense with sense and sensibility he forsook.

Brainstorming yields casting
the following plumbline
netting genetic, italic, kinetic,
magnetic, opportunistic, quixotic,
synchronistic, and universalistic result.

Ofttimes I experience constipation bout,
and thus the missus pours me a class
of natural laxative with clout
nursing said tonic,
yours truly situated in close proximity
to bathroom without doubt
lest sphincter muscles go into overdrive
wreaking excretory fallout
challenge compounded to access loo
courtesy flare up of gout
while all alone in the wilderness
helplessly at odds how to receive handout

of toilet tissue (or baby wipes), I bewail
to avoid staining underwear
(with trademark skid marks,
which the wife bemoans,
when washing clothes in kitchen sink
repulsed when seeing
a small piece of excrement)
the latter cloth material to clean tuckus,
which I prefer using
to attend unpleasant task
to render posterior happy and shiny *****

(housing a well functioning conduit,
where human waste eliminated
that without fail
fills tidy bowl brim to overflowing)
frequently necessitating me to bucket flush
and/or notify management headquarters
(for a plumber) located in Lansdale,
which short poem
figuratively sketches thumbnail,

when dyschezia plugs up
lower orifice of the alimentary canal
a side effect linkedin to one or more
of the prescription medications
reliant upon to ameliorate
the mental health issues
of social anxiety, dysthymia,
(a low mood occurring

for at least two years,
along with at least
two other symptoms of depression), and
palmar hyperhidrosis (characterized by
chronic excessive sweating,
not related to the necessity of heat loss)
to list a few outstanding plagues
upon mine body electric
afflicting me since mommy dearest

witnessed debut during her parturition
heralding my debut into this badass
webbed, wide world,
whereby wildly contra dancing,
(the most fun one can have
with their clothes on),
a pleasant panacea,
yours truly foot loose and fancy free
applying nimble fingers watching
lovely ladies fancifully twirled.

five months ago to the day

Twas the cusp of tooth thousand
twenty three summer solstice,
when yours truly (a fool
and his money went separate ways)
mine cherished nest egg,
I would immediately miss
lesson immediately learned courtesy takeaways
linkedin with looted
checking and savings accounts
analogously yanked, unmoored and unbridged

at Citizen Bank quays
me subsequently exhibiting,
maddening, and snorting
re: imagine how figurative
unbridled horse's *** neighs;
a fate engendering
mental anguish on par with
voluntarily unrolling Scottish welcome mat
readying yours truly
being lynched courtesy kkk

(I apologize for any
incantation, incrimination, incubation,
indiscretion, insinuation, intimation, invitation...),
cuz metook poetic license
attempting to accentuate brazen crafty deception,
how con artist invoked tender loving care
while (all the while) stealthily employing
stealing gambit, which hack
by the way incorporated his suppressed hurray
for him positively coaching me

invisibly eliciting, interposing, manifesting,
questing, and ushering entranceway
into sought after vaunted money
synonymously enlisting sprinkled pet accolade
such as "good job"
never disclosing discerning ulterior motive
exacting a risky (business) mission
unlike dramatizing the WWII story
of the Thailand-Burma Railway
regarding those soldiers who built

Bridge over the River Kwai
in the former scenario exhibiting
how yours truly (me) did betray
requisite necessity to protect
fungible assets of mine
by voluntarily cooperating
with the enterprising villainous prankster,
who applying one alias
called himself "Harvey Specter"
guiding blindsided yours truly
(who received nincompoop of the year award)

obliging scoundrel to withdraw cash willingly
and convert sain moolah into bitcoin
(a type of digital currency
in which a record of transactions maintained
and new units of currency are generated
by the computational solution
of mathematical problems,
and which operates independently
of a central bank) courtesy digital wallet,
which nefarious experience found me
posting a gofundme page to no avail!

until the cowed chickens come home to roost!

Sunlight streaming thru window
body electric of mine doth whet
begets hardiness to acclimate
against PECO shut off threat
ideal opportunity to spouse
analogous to her being my emotional pet
snuggling while standing in kitchenette
but accidental twerking
can guarantee yours truly
(me) being recipient of epithet.

I bundle up to stay warm
inside my cold man cave
particularly as average outside temperature
for November twentieth
two thousand and twenty three
hovers between high and low
fifty degrees fahrenheit
nearly brisk enough to see my breath.

I and/or the imaginary paramour
take our separate showers
during warmest hours of the day
less optimal to engage
in neighborly horseplay,
but more ideal for mistress (ha)
to pad around the unit donning her lingerie,
which nonverbally signals
(and greenlights)
more than voluminous words,
hence, I seal lips of mine

despite sudden aroused frisky urge
to burble exhibiting
debauched casanova behavior
accompanied courtesy illustrative
of suave debonair popinjay
rerouting spontaneous seduction today
indicative of throbbing
bulbous anatomical appurtenance,
which protrusion nullifies necessity of x-ray
to identify sudden
source of vasocongestion.

During daylight hours fresh air
arbitrarily, humorously, and noiselessly
streams and wafts
thru screened windows
ushering invisible scents
and audible sounds
of the webbed wide world here,
in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
our neck of the woods
since seventeenth year
after second century Anno Domini.

Civilizations since time immemorial
revered fiery celestial ball
establishing their respective mythology
which scheme attempted to explain
divine thermonuclear processes
sustaining the nearest star,
which Sol Invictus did enthrall
housing an astronomical object
comprising a luminous spheroid of plasma
held together by self-gravity
within the heavenly vault
divine creator didst install
which supposed movement in the sky
signified daytime and nightfall
linkedin with planet earth
a veritable, observable, honorable,
and admirable terrestrial tetherball.