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Apr 2022 · 122
Ice age cometh moot point
No matter unseasonably
blustery March like weather
prevails across my neck of the woods
(Southeastern Montgomery County, Pennsylvania)
and across the main body
of these United States of America
particularly original Thirteen Colonies
global warming alive and well
and promises to return
with a vengeance
after station identification.

Find out pertinent ice age accouterments;
gear up as soon as possible
with suitable and necessary arctic trappings
by accessing without delay
https://icetrek.com/equipment-guide.

Researchers used data on Earth's orbit
to find the historical warm
interglacial period that looks
most like the current one
and predicted that the next ice age
would usually begin within 1,500 years.

Now back to regularly scheduled program
donned and trumpeted as poetic blurb.

Incumbent onus warrants immediate action
to stem tide of global warming
or ***** breakers to thwart dire crisis,
cuz figurative and literal tsunami
in the offing gathering strength.

Plethora of humans (think overpopulation)
directly linkedin to planet Earth dire strait
re: environmental catastrophe, née debacle
teeters along brink tipping point inevitably
pitching civilization headlong into oblivion
**** sapiens (minus those living off grid)
admirably self sufficient unto themselves,

perhaps ecological intentional community
while yours truly, one guilt ridden wordsmith
laments impacting minimal carbon footprint
(courtesy these thankful little feet size nine+)
nonetheless psychological torment wracks
lovely bones garden variety/generic human

specifically comprising complex edifice me
Matthew Scott Harris riven with loathsome
abomination, constipation, indignation, et al
mustered, tethered, yoked into capitalistic,
commercialistic, consumeristic ditto et alia
versus altruistic holistic, simplistic again re:

call synonymous words regarding contrast
between belching, exhausting, and polluting
(naming three adjectives describing impact
predominantly nsync with prophetic albeit,
profit oriented profligate, profane paradigm
unleashing immense global carbon emissions.

Impossible mission to uncouple accountability,
(no matter minuscule - veritable drop within
figurative bucket when quantity contrasted/
compared alongside industrial waste courtesy
major corporations), yet helplessness prevails
survival (mine) inextricably bound trappings
twenty first century allow, enable, and provide

exploiting even dollop so called nonrenewable
resources, I could sacrifice corporeal entity -
body, mind and spirit within eyeblink exhales
last breath before becoming repurposed - inert
cremated ashes randomly scattered across all
points encompassing terrestrial world wide web.

Obituary -
Despite havoc primate species did wreak
from the afterlife I figuratively speak
and applaud millennials whose peak
performance accorded courtesy
your token "aged hippie,"

mild mannered and meek
and long haired pencil necked geek,
whose disembodied spirit
now volunteers as Halloween sideshow freak
incorporating gallows humor tongue in cheek.
after dark April 26th, 2022

Prometheus bound out the heavens
to strike fear in the hearts of men and women
reminding us mortals how like oxen yoked
(together via a wooden beam forced
to undergo strenuous labor)
unlike most elderly residents here
at Highland Manor Apartments
whose arising out of bed exertion
tuckers sexagenarians, septuagenarians,
octogenarians, nonagenarians,
and very small number of centenarians out
nevertheless awakening me

courtesy ear splitting fire alarm
residents in their deep sleep, whom woke
with a start after deafening sound din stoked
immediate fear unbeknownst
how to gauge seriousness of clangor
until details figuratively dribbled out
that one occupant named Jack Barber
(purportedly occupying unit B5)
made well done grilled cheese sandwich
as burnt offering to spirits
linkedin to Lenni Lenape Indian tribes.

Understandable the indigenous peoples
originally occupying Southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
rightfully distraught being forcibly evicted
from their land, and blatantly
wiped off face of the Earth courtesy genocide.

Though caught unawares
by surprised renters abed;
most occupants appeared
dazed and confused
and seemed blithe
if they became gratefully dead
unsure how to heed
what did NOT appear
as a practice fire drill,
though yours truly
and the missus fled
toward front - exiting
two sets of double doors;
we learned after the fact

that back doors instead
accessed if an emergency arose,
but I (and the wife) followed
where other older folks
(analogous to zeppelin) led,
the majority bumbling, hobbling,
essentially old **** shuffling,
Yiddish shach? or schock?
Mach? correct me if in error, okay
as I attempt to outspread
before thee, a feeble embellishment
which poetic effort reflects retread
of tired and worn writing techniques.

Understandable, the aversion
living social in a highrise
acrophobia an abominable excursion
untenable to yours truly as incursion
foisted upon peacenik phrased poet
who as a lad suffered malocclusion
necessitating me to undergo
maxillofacial surgery (more'n
mine half life ago) painful operation
maxillary osteotomy, and
quite some years later
all teeth got extracted
attributed to advanced periodontal disease.

If/when part time
gainful employment acquired,
I could identify as indentured servant,
especially if hired
as a taste tester, or poetaster
by strict taskmaster,
who relentlessly teeths me
eventually forcing gumption
to allow, enable and provide
figurative modus operandi
to fight and bite back.
and/or try distilling my spirits
at losing gamble
if curious (by George) proceed
reading reasonable rhyme,
I guarantee the following words ramble.

Though flush with good humor
pun one mock two yields negligible
true cash equivalent value won
dirt poor offspring privileged as prodigal son
pockets bursting with legal tender,
when just yesterday I reveled in fun.

All polite declinations
strung together would circle...
(fill in the blank) x times
matter of fact,
I just got a slew of them
today April 26th, 2022,
what a lucky man
me haint an idealist...,
but winning poetry (writing) contest
or purchasing lottery tickets...
yeah, nothing butta pipe dream

such improbable whimsical notion
linkedin and tantamount
with milkmaid and pail
Aesop pose fabulous incredulous solution
finally good riddance
hand to mouth existence
hello riches, perchance a dollop
and/or sizable windfall courtesy
drawn PowerBall and/or Mega Million ticket,
whereby yours truly suddenly

cursed with more'n chump change,
and/or abundant money
would experience "fifteen minutes of fame"
flush with friends and relatives,
who metaphorically came out of woodwork,
I (a misanthrope) never knew existed
(perhaps even marriage propositions,
no matter wedded bliss prevails)
interesting... how moderate
and/or substantial wealth
suddenly finds chock a block

acquisitions accessible at my fingertips
(regarding brand new automobile,
custom designed house,
travel opportunities galore
(maybe even vacation to Mars)
(despite prevalence coronavirus - COVID -19),
nevertheless honed awareness,
viz immutability altering
pubescent stunted emotional, physical
and social development
plus profusely sweating hands
then and now, social anxiety

all the while knowing money
can't buy happiness,
yet once and for all at long last
free and clear of grinding poverty
cuz groveling along
the pockmarked highway
avails countless exit ramps
plethora of choices
inviting strong arm of the law
for instance how to be analogous to jolly roger
piloting immense hijacked ship of state

(approximating size of Rhode Island)
equipped with the latest trappings
matter of fact replete
with every creature comfort
analogous to rich
self sufficient independent country
allowing, enabling, and providing
a warm welcome - think unfurled
Harris tweed Scottish welcome mat.

POSTSCRIPT: Feel free to be
kickstarter to (mine nonexistent)
Gofundme site Cree
hating altruism toward me,
whose monetary shortfall
cruel fate did decree,
though if yours truly ever
pens his autobiography,
ye will become privy
to mein kampf awash
with squandered key
opportunities harkening
back to primary school.

Argh...,I unwittingly thwarted
necessary positive growth
once in a lifetime occasions,
thus penury finds me
rattling figurative tin cup
for small largesse - ha.
I accompany my dark shadow...
(many hours before edge of night,
where twilight zone evokes night gallery),
and resumed walking a circuit
around perimeter of parking lot
today, a breezy temperate
twenty fifth of April two thousand
and twenty two, and perhaps
if regularly habituate myself
to said stroll physical endeavors
may one day find me to cantor or trot.

Yours truly realized modus operandi
to kombat (mortal) lethargy;
last year, he did stride rite
around resident parking lot area
(here at Highland Manor apartments)
then usually at approximately
19:00 hours each day
casually bumbling and ambling
one lap after another
counting one hundred and one,
one hundred and two,
one hundred and three...
coordinated with deep breathing
to distract self from repetitiveness.

Modicum of walking exercise
benefits this sexagenarian
in tandem yours truly began
burning ghee (my slang for calories)
while maintaining sitting position
placing each foot in strap
and pedalling lightweight machine
against adjusted tension.

Aside from strengthening leg muscles
choosing to while away time
by disciplining myself with former or latter,
both modes of physical fitness
also help keep anguish at bay
mental duress triggered
courtesy of property management
constituting: Zoftig, the warden
and maintenance man,
(a recent hire),
the first two whose invisible clutches

asphyxiate me and the missus
hounding us to keep
one bedroom apartment in shipshape order
and particularly to wipe away fruit fly feces
(cuz exterminator informed us
said itty bitty teeny weeny insect
breeds within their
yellowish gummy waste matter)
prompting us to Google search
senior low income apartment facilities,
spurring spurious query wondering
whether any anonymous reader
might be able, eager, ready and willing
to hand over keys to main lodging
including carriage house,
we would even settle for a dog house
or (in a manor of writing) Yukon
assign access rights to an excellent outlook.

Sense and sensibility concerning
the emotional fallout
brought about by sedentariness
(essentially affecting me to feel
glum, melancholy, and ruminative)
helped goad generic indigent solitary man
(practically self quarantined
his whole mucked up adult life)
hence not inconvenienced
when coronavirus COVID-19
wrought havoc and mayhem.

Just on the cusp of experiencing joie de vivre,
the triumvirate of Crooks and Quade
figuratively swoop down
to announce re: inspection
of apartment unit B44
whenever they deem appropriate.

Thus series of unfortunate events
(linkedin with bull limey
Lemony Snicket bro)
got sidelined nsync with
contracting a minor bout
with deadly Amish Flu
symptoms found garden variety
reasonable rhymer
bedridden feeling a little horse and buggy (ha),
incapacitated to craft signature poetry writing.

An honest to dog confession
regarding hiatus spewing forth
vociferous versatile vocabulary
mine words - worth their weight in gold
(told woofer I do not know), nevertheless
included perusing a gamut of reading material.

The passion to engross intellect
witnessed courtesy immersing
attention, concentration, excitation
gratification, intoxication;
knowledge prized more precious
than fine spun gold.

Likewise crafting (albeit painstakingly)
elusive notions that flit
to and fro hither and yon
(analogous to ping pong ball)
within parameters of
microscopically crenellated
sixty plus shades of gray matter
also constitutes fervent interest.
primary idiopathic palmar/
palmoplantar hyperhidrosis
despite taking  Glycopyrrolate
2 MG  Tablet three times daily.

Aforementioned physiological malady
unwanted and unwonted figurative
(metaphorical) beast of burden
linkedin with matrix constituting mine
corporeal essence genetically
gifted to yours truly,
invariably, objectionably, and unquestionably
afflicts, impacts, and upsets
emotional (mental) health
diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder.

Tis no fun unable
to join in any reindeer games
(actually quite aggravating)
to experience chronic instances,
whereby profuse sweat drips
(think rivaling Angel Falls),
the loftiest falls on land
inducing extreme self
consciousness and embarrassment.

Socialization compromised,
jeopardized, and sabotaged
against natural proclivity to fraternize,
thus avoidance behavior
(i.e. social distancing) rigorously practiced
way before coronavirus (COVID-19)

mandated staying at least 6 feet
(about 2 arms' length) from other people.
I vaguely recollect even while in utero
sweaty hands cooled courtesy amniotic fluid
yet subsequently observing consternation
obstetrician displayed as

itty bitty teensy weensy fingers
dripped - think faucet turned on full force.
Mein kampf (predominantly
describes solitary existence)
severely exacerbated (still prominent)

ability to function undermined
courtesy deux part and parcel
significant aforestated physiological
and social congenital afflictions
somewhat ameliorated by
about half dozen prescription medications.

I keep hermetically sealed
within our single bedroom apartment
(we lucked out with unit B44
providing us scenic view)
climate controlled when weather
hazy, hot and humid
at sixty degrees Fahrenheit
(you do the math to figure
the Centigrade temperature),
nevertheless these stubby
five fingered appendages
ooze perspiration on par
with spigots gushing sweat.

Worse fate than death finds me
suffering one or more
dogged following plagues:
water turning to blood, frogs, lice,
flies, livestock pestilence, boils, hail,
locusts, darkness and killing
of firstborn children far less oppressive
versus being stricken with Hyperhidrosis.

Sain above identified unpleasant fallout
understandably, quintessentially, and inextricably
linkedin within every fiber
moost likely activated since conception - mine
body electric infiltrated nerve wracking
complex corporeal edifice
interestingly enough solely overbearing
while yours truly wide awake
bright tailed and bushy eyed,
yet sleep ofttimes brings

severely dislocating, disquieting
and discombobulating
subconscious nocturnal experiences,
which frightful, maniacal, and
phantasmagorical vivid dreams
undermines, oppresses, and impinges,
any joie de vivre
creating abominable hell on Earth
thus this dirt poor commoner
pronouncing his intent

to beg, borrow and/or steal
(sell my soul to the devil)
in a desperate effort to secure
and pay King's ransom
to rid myself once and for all
of parasite entrenched nemesis
bleeding dry, leeching, and yoking
writer christened Matthew Scott Harris,
whereby he doth regularly writhe in agony.
Introduction: once again I incorporate
my trademark penchant
to fabricate fictitiously
portions of the following poetic endeavor
can you care to
discern fact from fiction?

Attempts at lifelong friendships and holy matrimony...

Shot thru with figuratively cankerous nub,
cuz yours truly did flub
even though as a scouting cub
how yours truly - alias Phil Anderer
committed faux paw unlike me papa bear,
he set admirable example
sidestepping and skirting carnal temptation,
(****** one... two...; ****** one... two...)
squelching roaring testosterone
against succumbing, rutting, quieting
call of the wild desire meaning
inevitably envisioning seducing,
mounting, kissing, caressing...
receptive quite pleasing gals,
nonetheless merely fending off such
verboten enticement left him panting.

Think surrendering to playful kibitizing
as kickstarter to hanky panky;
said violation against matrimonial covenant,
thwarting potential indiscretion subsequently
linkedin with Capital one aplomb.

I never bore witness
seeing me dada caught
in sexually compromised contretemps
to any aforementioned high fidelity hubbub,
yet his sole male offspring (me)
begat courtesy Harriet and Boyce,
(but one minor tidbit to share,
neither father nor mother physically alive
they long since passed away
to Elysian Fields)
found their one and only son - nada faithful
blithely nixing pledged troth,
which rent asunder filial bond

between self and precious progeny
plus provoked wrathful ire
and eventually forgiving soul of thee missus,
nevertheless her heartfelt
initial fury at discovery
of absent husband from Bryn Mawr quarters
didst activate pulse
to throb considerably faster
and louder than usual subdued lub dub
and even at present
when daring to discuss
mine moonlighting one night tryst
as Casanova wannabe, which
hard drive of mine generated message
Abort, Retry, Fail?

Though ***** never freed
flagellated empowered gamete sea men
despite libido being shifted to high gear;
****** ******* never consummated,
nor ****** ******* bliss experienced
much less allowed, enabled and provided
ditto the recipient of mine adulterous affections.
Far fetched fanciful whim
(hard to believe) fallacy
complicity, excitedly, and willfully
following imaginative thought,
though following whim never expressed,
but how rousing, spellbinding,
tantalizing the thought of foreplay
exciting, fondling, goading
receptive flirtatious paramour,
an alluring mistress of color
to attempt and strategize my abduction
as random human trafficked heist
held prisoner until an undisclosed
sum of ransom money
delivered to the captors.

The wife ofttimes references taboo subject
regarding aborted love affair
(alluding to side piece as underhanded gibe)
upon being probed, questioned, and raked
over figurative coals with intimate queries.

These mild interrogations
trigger a sudden uptick
in voluminous silence;
tick tock transpires soundlessness
spikes male level lent rub,
between one once randy husband
and grateful wife; she exhibited forgiveness;
how virtuous ma lady accepting spouse,
which whole frisky fiasco
(on a Freaky Friday)
fostered felicitous flagrante delicto
induced reciprocal black barbs upon psyches
their paternal parent inflicted.

Although antics unbecoming
monogamous kickstarted, declared, and avowed
essentially compromising legally binding union
long since ceased
(matter of fact yesterday April 21st, 2022
me and the missus
went shopping at BJ's. Whole Club
200-C Mill Rd, Oaks, PA 19456),
the psychological fallout
still indelibly etched.

Tumultuous emotions roiled
driving past long gone
home of me childhood
324 Level Road no longer exists,
yet chuckful of memories
flooded mine consciousness
flashback triggered gamut
of existential trials and tribulations.

As a youngster behavior of yours truly
(i.e. mine) never purportedly "bad"
rather reserved, I gave no indication
then how such a cute beastie boy
when becoming acculturated
within loving family provenance
versus disaster later married life evinced
displayed, exhibited, and flaunted
characteristics antithetical, diabolical,
heretical, and piratical
(so much for hyperbole)
par excellence of an exemplary cad,
a most definite poor example

and embarrassment of one
good for nothing dad
to two adorable daughters,
who deserved better egad
myself as basket of deplorable
father figure in retrospect me not glad
carrying on illicit affair
trying to compensate
while cultivating the row
(elle) regarding husbandry
during and post pubescence
never going out on date,
nor kissing an attractive lass,

when poet of Perkiomen Valley
scores of years ago
besotted with anguish
extremely, governed as introvertedly,
and painfully shy lad,
(he knew nothing about
powder milk biscuits)
and more or less describes himself
during his adolescence as a "wallflower"
self deprivation concerning experiencing
life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness
found aging logophile mad
at himself missing out

on typical social/interpersonal casual forays
donned in fashionable dungarees and plaid
fast forward to mein kampf as unhappily wed
whereby hours spent
(rather wasted) posting
and answering personal classifieds
for female assignations
numbering well into bajillions
in other words quite a scad
only countless lunar months ex post facto
did sincere regret prevail
mooch more'n a tad;
dalliances involving barenaked ladies
costing inxs of any legal tender ***.
Absolute zero escape
velocity guts dance
sing days (contra and square),
cuz metabolic full abundance
abdominal adipose tissue acceptance
not in accordance
with light as a feather

miss lost acquaintance
the boy within forced admittance
as sure man tanks of fat did advance
shotgun marriage demanded allegiance
to pledge lifetime alliance
no room for allowance
crushing lightness of being ambiance

nor allies to help me combat
battle fatigue require
ring superman endurance
to muster strength
to stand ***** else ambulance
will whisk away husky
embarrassing appearance

loose fitting clothing
jelly roll appurtenance
overnight digital readout,
asper body mass index
scaled quick ascendance,
thus when showering,
I look askance

fearing bulging balloon
will necessitate assistance
else... diet of worms
as only assurance
safeguarding body electric
against hecklers at open casket
no matter, a small perchance

crowd in attendance
yea... eventual cremation
after life only fat chance
to alleviate present circumstance
heavy matter fails security clearance
the price for astute cognizance
weak willpower alighting countenance

esse pie ying sweet treats
now measures taken to counterbalance
to fight temptation and dalliance
overruling feasting craving delectation
to restore trim deliverance
love handles around equator
no magician can render disappearance

yes the discontinuance
of just dessert must maintain distance
without being weighed
down with disturbance
by heaviest haunch
ain't no elegance
lugging extra encumbrance

when throughout my early life,
skinny, yet able to steel glance
mirrored reflection now grievance,
where wistful memory
ha...ironic insouciance
more so than
today finds intolerance,

thus woebegone issuance
thorn in muss hide
to experience jubilance
hmm...maybe a strong
arm can lance
excess flab quite a nuisance
to defy gravity, why penance

sans unsightly paunch
yours truly laments skin
tight fit, thus petulance
lame excuse unwanted protuberance
necessitates dedicated pursuance
recollection of washboard
abdomen impossible, yes

nothing accomplished by remonstrance
thus prerogative to stomach liposuction
scalpel in hand watching youtube video
summoning gut wrenching
moment to activate incision
to rid yours truly of belly aching
once and for all.
just dawned upon me awareness today
April 20th, 2022 14:30 military time.

Unvoiced law of the land
obeyed lest one
who owns temporary priority
will get mad and deliver hex
upon generations of violator
even if parked car property
of an innocent visitor,
who knew not the space
self relegated to Matthew Scott.

Fifth anniversary of our occupancy
housed within one bedroom apartment
additionally, familiarly, and specifically
known to us as B44
will occur July first
two thousand and twenty two.

Soon after we,
(yours truly and the missus)
moved here first day of seventh month
two thousand and seventeen
both of us unanimously co-opted
select parking space.

For residents at highland manor Apartments
self assigned parking exists here,
and each resident better be conscientious
cuz resulting consequence
(think Monty Python's Flying Circus
forever linkedin courtesy
John Philip Sousa's
'The Liberty Bell' March),
where mean strong arm of law

actually disguised as
animated outsize foot
see https://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=2AxiATxLofk
reaches from out the sky
and crushes wayward miscreant
hence verboten to dare occupy
parking space of another.

Fond memories associated
with me attempting to back into
between painted (occasionally
blurred) lines describing
open ended box,
whereby after umpteen attempts
(after shearing off tire tread
of driver or left passenger side)
amidst guffaws uttered by spouse,
she insists to take over
and backs in with nary a hitch.

Such unspoken accommodation
also prevailed when I happened
to consider myself a perpetual student
and established voluntarily
choosing a catbird seat,
and remaining steadfast sitting
in same chair
(of course I mean only
during time class in session)
throughout the semester.
Poet of Perkiomen Valley
discovered aforementioned titled poem
about thirty months ago he wrote
impossible mission critters to smote
chronic issue yours truly does note
years later meaning today
April 19th, 2022
necessitated we allow, enable

and provide welcome to exterminator
actually management did hote
(obsolete) To command; to enjoin
hazard upon body, mind and spirit,
thus ridding apartment b44
visited by said swarming insects,
his expertise sought to mitigate
courtesy applying insecticide.

Insects created dark shadows
analogous brought outer limits
of twilight zone
resembling edge of night
in truth our one bedroom apartment
at that earlier date
affected, encroached, and outsmarted
by massive infestation of
Drosophila melanogaster light
weight winged worst
pests to eradicate
(scientific name regarding
winged flitting nuisance ignite
mentioned in title) besieged,
inundated, and thickly swarm.

dost primp and pretty
fie themselves (to
attract a witty
mate) during their
40 to 50 days city,
or suburban life
cycle long enough
to qualify for this

quickly written ditty
seemingly overnight
a bajillion biz zee
buzzing adults (each
about 1/8 inch long see
their world wide web,
thru at least one
unusual red eye,

which compound eye
of the fruit fly
contains 760 unit
eyes or ommatidia, well nigh
hapt tubby one of the most
advanced among insects,
where Google search

for home remedies aye
didst find to exterminate
these teeny weeny pests,
plus informational pursuit my
instantaneous curiosity yielded
above mentioned
esoteric tidbits,
sans accidentally disc

covered helpful good riddance
material of household ingredients
restraining me to breathe sigh
of dollop, and hope to try
one or more solutions,
which informed
this amateur entomologist -
listed forthright as:

1. Create a trap by mixing
apple cider vinegar
with a few drops of dish soap.
2. Another homemade trap is to
pour leftover red wine into a jar.
3. Mash up banana slices in a jar, and
cover top with a plastic wrap.
4. Pour bleach solution
into bathroom sink.
5. Detonate atomic explosives
as a last resort.
Hobbit those characters who lived
within the realm
of John Ronald Reuel Tolkien
as far removed as
Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
upon squelched cusp of progressivism,
now most likely
experience bitterness at the autocracy
of Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Permafrost of the cold war thawed
when Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev
(a Russian: born 2 March 1931)
ranked as salutary Soviet statesman.

As eighth leader of Soviet Union,
he rang successful posts as follows:
General Secretary of Communist Party
Soviet Union from 1985 until 1991.

He headed country of sprawling Soviet state
from 1988 until 1991
Chairman of Presidium of Supreme Soviet
from 1988 to 1989,
Chairman of Supreme Soviet from 1989 to 1990,
and President of Soviet Union from 1990 to 1991.

Gorbachev was born in Stavropol Krai
into a peasant Ukrainian–Russian family knoll high
in his teens, operated combine harvesters
on collective farms as strapping guy.

He graduated from Moscow State University
in 1955 with a degree in law.

While at university, he joined Communist Party,
and soon became jaw
burr walk key i.e. very active mouthpiece per se.

In 1970, his near flawless
dossier a boon asper getting appointed
First Party Secretary drawing
salary of Stavropol Regional Committee,
First Secretary as “Chaw”

Bach ca qua Supreme Soviet in 1974,
and appointed as member of Politburo in 1979.

Within three years after death of Soviet leader
Leonid Brezhnev, following brief "interregna"
of Andropov and Chernenko, Gorbachev
elected general secretary chief
by Politburo in 1985.

Before reaching said post,
his bona fides occasioned bill leaf
As top dog name-dropped
in Western newspapers
as a likely next leader and reef
furred as barrier to manage
younger generation at top level.

Gorbachev's policies of glasnost ("openness")
and perestroika ("restructuring") and
his reorientation of Soviet
strategic aims contributed
to end Cold War.

Under a rustling brand
new program, the role
of Communist Party in governing
the state was removed demand
did via the constitution,
which inadvertently led to crisis-level
political instability fanned
surge of regional nationalist
and anti-communist activism
culminating in dissolution hand
of Soviet Union. Gorbachev
later expressed regret
for failure to save USSR, Mother land
though he insisted his policies not failures,
but rather vitally necessary reforms, miss man
aged, sabotaged and exploited by opportunists.

He was awarded the Otto Hahn
Peace Medal in 1989,
the Nobel Peace Prize in 1990
and Harvey Prize in 1992, plus un-cease
sing honorary doctorates from various universities.

In September 2008, Gorbachev vis
a vis, and business oligarch Alexander Lebedev
announced formation of Independent
Democratic Party of Russia,
and in May 2009 Gorbachev
announced that launch meant
to be imminent.

This third attempt Gorbachev
sought to establish a political party, rent
asunder from disparate competitors started
Social Democratic Party of Russia in tent
toward legitimacy dated 2001,
and Union of Social Democrats
in 2007 voice of the people to vent.
albeit modest word zealot

Writing prompts burst asunder
snap, crackle, and sweet Mary poppin
within me scrambled noggin
witnessing yours truly to blunder
blindly along this dark and stormy night
deafening soundcloud roared
with apocalyptic thunder
'course only audible to yours truly,
I did dumbfoundedly bred wonder...

At some o'clock
tick tocking hours brisk
(quite chilly temperatures)
April seventeenth -Easter Sunday
two thousand twenty two
when Church law
obliges Roman Catholics
to receive Holy Communion
simultaneous blinding fiery kindling
quickening xing risk
within winkin blinkin and nod,
I feared full light of day brainstorm

snatched away courtesy invisible whisk
broom all those potential
ideas sprung while
Messiah by George Frideric
Handel's never out of style
within cerebral nooks and
crannies (think Ohiopyle),
whereby Youghiogheny River
bubbles, gurgles, fuels river mile

after mile harnesses and doth generate
approximately twelve Megawatts
of electricity per hour, to alleviate
domestic counting eight
thousand homes necessitate
distributed across western
and central Pennsylvania
nearly pristine land
where many local legends
never go out of style.

Bigfoot looms large here,
but other cryptids, or animals
also believed to inhabit the state.

Featured prominently include:
the gigantic Broad Top Snake,
the bizarre Dogman
of Westmoreland County,
and Bessie, Lake Erie’s resident monster.

Reports of giant attacking thunderbirds,
bloodsucking wolfmen, and mischievous,
mine-dwelling Tommyknockers
round out the list.

Analogous catching
courtesy goo goo dolls barenaked
ladies hands spawning
salmon slippery as an eel
(if curious don't take my word,
which might not appeal)
though yours truly
offers no guarantee,
you could easily fall

overboard as ye kneel,
which subsequently offers
live human meal
to hungry sharks, impossible mission
to escape no matter
how loud you squeal,
bouquets delphiniums and daisies
designate watery grave site
dissolving blood amidst the color teal.

Aforementioned depiction, whereby
former commander in chief
(er scoundrel forty fifth president)
admittedly no gent
till man nor scholar, and
he cavalierly lent
and nearly fin hushed nearly
(possibly already) rent
asunder high crimes and
misdemeanors, he casually spent.
rebated, rebirthed rebooted, and rebuked
ill shod Unitarian atheist

Though avast percentage
of stonehenge temple piloted ghosts,
harking back millennia
constantly zip unseen thru aerospace,
they unwittingly espy
woolly sheep hush fleeced herd
profoundly religious peep pulls
plodding fast as their
cleft hoofs take them
along well worn path
of former crusaders.

Among acquiescent devout subjects
one self repentant
quest shunning skeptic poet
suffers interminable emotional flagellation
employing righteous indignation
against his own iniquitous misdeeds
sullying the sacrosanct marital covenant.

Unpardonable egregious transgressions
committed (well nigh
***** deeds done dirt cheap
a dozen orbitz ago)
think adulterous flagrante delicto
constituted consummating rutting
sabotaging high fidelity.

Passionate ******* incorporating
communicating non verbal
vernacular animal needs
spoken on behalf of laity
comprising unlearned, nevertheless
superstitious population
indulged verboten fruit appetite,
yet adroit oral (tongue in cheek)
spread courtesy word of mouth.

Most pious take as gospel
every word in religious tomes
their collective soul asylum polestar,
and doth decree important doctrines
with especial accord
equal insignificance applied toward
Judeo-Christian holidays
across the chessboard of life,
thus Easter ranks as no exception
to the golden rule,

where Santa Claus reached an a chord
follow auspicious signs
alit in the night sky
shaped like a drinking gourd
perhaps amassing plentiful harvests
upon hamlets strewn
across ******* populated Earth
asper cornucopia exhibited secret hoard
sharing plentiful Horn
(and Hard art lesson learned)

to stave off barreness, ignored
going forward seeding nascent
March Madness with help from Lord
and Taylor as midwife hoot
tended Ville Nova moored
by striking Wildcat fanatics,
who unbelievably
espied heavens cleft asunder
and golden rays poured
while collective spectators

loudly deafeningly screamed
while housed within the soundgarden
analogous to ferocious cats
who hissed and roared
witnessed history scored
earning players knighted
with Excalibur sword
thence entire team handed
Taj Mahal shaped award,

which aforementioned
*** hide lacks, cuz zit
happens tubby April Fool's joke,
thus above iterated verses somehow needs
just a little bit of relevance to yoke
thine admitted ambivalent
reaction to sports,
yea aye pay figurative ****
hen to Rabbinic, generic fanatic primal
tribal village people clan destine woke,

and swinging focus of this poem
back toward Religious perp ported berth
when (sans antiquity) trumpet signaled
thus, any superstitions blew away dearth
when distant shofar heard
in every home and hearth
anticipating arrival of the Easter Bunny,
who brings mirth
and hop poly distributes sweet treats,
which children as grown adults,

no matter necessity
for teeth to be removed
the sugary over indulgence wool worth
today thee American Dental Association
chastises candy manufacturers
bandying more weight
gaining deadly, debauched,
and decadent, trait
then adultery - verboten fruit to sate
hash-tagged (vamoose skat
dad dulled) reprobate.
I experience dread-nought
until April 19th, 2022 becomes yesterday
when troubles with management
here at Highland Manor
hoop fully temporarily alleviated.

Yours truly and the missus
personal living space
otherwise known as Unit B44
encroached, obtruded, and violated
predicated upon fruit fly infestation
justifying purported request for entry
into our one bedroom apartment.

Anticipatory anxiety put on high alert
when the warden gave less than a week
courtesy spluttering tone of voice
she did angrily blurt
nsync with her usual persona
being wickedly curt
treating us (myself and missus) like dirt
gloating in our writhing adversity

poor, sharecroppers,
no matter yours truly indigent
no matter exhaustive effort I do exert
to secure living income/wage, thus flirt
with visions of illusions grandeur
analogous to taut pulled belt girt
tightly around psyche whereby temple hurt
with unbearable agony
rendering these lovely bones inert.

Grosse and Quade Management
at 2 Highland Manor Apartments
with Jackie Geiger at the helm
finds yours truly afflicted with weak
praise, cuz she left us
(meself and the missus)
in figurative darkness,
whereby I electronically

soulfully bellow and shriek
seize the day
silently critiquing as if writing op/ed
for Time magazine and/or defunct Newsweek
perhaps under heading summarizing healthweek,
which hypothetical issue possibly considered
virtual collector's item
and subsequently unreal antique.

Stress unrelenting linkedin
to pesky of Drosophila melanogaster.

Fruit flies undergo
three stages of development
before emerging as adults:
egg, larva and pupa.

At room temperature,
fruit flies can develop
into adults within one to two weeks.

The egg and larval stages
span approximately eight days,
while the pupal stage lasts six days.

The adult fruit fly lives for several weeks.

Said pesky situation
warranted extermination services
to the tune between $100 and $175
for professional services
cuz countless instances arose regarding
swarm of itty bitty teeny weeny insect
thus aforementioned tab relegated
gifted as responsibility to yours truly
as threatened courtesy no nonsense
aforementioned heiress to the throne
of owners Grosse and Quade.

Methinks eviction in the offing,
though I will assertively
contact Fair Housing
if figurative push comes to shove
and broadcasts plea
for alternate place to reside
(ideally within Southeastern Pennsylvania)
including affordable low income rent.
Late afternoon April 14th, 2022
meteorologic destiny manifested...
rumbling atmospheric thud,
promised natural exultant
the sky opened up
cascading wall of water
created instantaneous flood
sound and light show
subsequently within minutes
dully rightly appraised as dud,

yours truly forced himself awake
way before dawn's early light
all for naught, yet...
thus hours later summoned,
perhaps lame poetic material
(think) potential Earth shaking
literary cause not lost

expressing disappointment
'pon absent dramatic booming anticipation,
electrifying fascination, injecting glorification
atavistic beastie boy within me
awed, charged, fascinated, jarred,
witnessing (i.e. seeing and hearing)
humbling experience beholding

dynamic latent forces unleashed
intense earsplitting, blinding
spectacular singular sensational
magnificent natural phenomena
far surpassing, née dwarfing
extravagant pyrotechnics wrought
courtesy innovative **** sapiens.

Time and again
without fail - exuberant delight
always gushes forth,
no fanfare for
totally tubular common man,
whose feeble insignificant powers
laughable and lamentable

puny human specimen
easily flicked (think
humongous sized fingers
particularly middle digit)
sending me airborn
pirouetting head over heels
at mercy of Mother Nature's whims

among brethren and sistren
constituting fray'n chipped
foo fighting ship of
motley crew zing fools
metaphorical human league
bajillion **** sapiens
even if/when global

standing military combined
be they: armies, marines,
navies... fighting force
nope, still no match
against tectonic and volcanic
potential and/or kinetic energy.
Solitude breeds malignant nemesis
couched as woe seated heavily
within mine angst
riddled quavering psyche
blinding clairvoyance
debilitates enthusiastic frequency
wavelengths propagate unfounded
probable future destitution

predicated upon intractable lifetime mired
within groveling penuriousness
"dirt poor" accursed fate
pervaded plentiful not ready
for prime time playing years
repercussions long fostered anguish,
when offspring begot
(particularly the whip smart eldest)

she jockeyed herself as winner
with good n plenti horsesense
chomped at the bit, albeit figuratively,
when aforementioned progeny
attained age of awareness
underscored by livingsocial
in the horn of plenty
regarding estates generally

dripping exuberant wealth,
where plush domiciles within MainLine
accentuated luckless financial pitfall,
asper yours truly afflicted mental illness
mine generalized anxiety, panic,
obsessive compulsive disorder...
ascribed to existence squandered,
nee imprisoned impenetrable prison

found me captive undermining
ordinary healthy development
sabotaging approximately five decades
constituting better part sans mein kampf,
which total three plus score orbitz,
yet far and away psychologically afflicted
nsync and linkedin with
emotional, mental, and social trauma

(learning difficulty compounded
dilemma repercussions extant today),
now healthily sublimated,
courtesy painful pubescent exhumation
poetry metier write
cathartic, holistic, narcotic...
plus weekly therapy sessions
also exercise in toto with meditation

supplements summoning forth
inner Wizard of Oz
to traverse cratered abysmal pits
gingerly sidestepping death traps
awash with skeletal wreckage
indelible scars perforating
air supply condemning me
aging baby boomer nsync

lead zeppelin plunges
corporeal essence gripped
stranglehold asphyxiates
sputtering torturous undulations
irrepressibly avast impossible mission
livingsocial counter intuitive
rather hermetically sealed simian
accustomed himself being alone.
without yours truly experiencing urge to defecate

Neither bloating nor constipation
arose, but one nondescript anguished
logophile anticipated intestinal blockage,
hence prophesying worse case scenario

I (predicated in direction for an adult)
ingested three Dulcolax tablets
and subsequently this joker
found himself riddled
with debilitating diarrhea dilemma
that afflicted me hours on end
today April 11th, 2022.

Severe **** travails
immediately brought forth
****** recollections regarding
my offal bout with shigella
circa approximately July fourth holiday
nineteen hundred and eighty seven
which ranked as worst pain in the ****.

Two women (Ziona and Susan –
surnames unknown),
plus your truly, which trio
befriended each other
from Thursday night contra dance.

Aforementioned women
minimally identified
via first name basis
(since their sir nom de plume
unknown at this juncture),
and yours truly linkedin,
via above said social venue.

This piece of information mentioned
since that innocuous site
(Summit Presbyterian Church
at Green and Westview Streets
within Mount Airy, Pennsylvania)
essentially served as
figurative starting point
per following true anecdote.

Though about thirty five years ago,
my memory easily jogged,
asper unforeseen brush with death.

Innocence and naïveté twin factors,
tangentially contributed to agonizing ordeal.

Ask me what I ate for breakfast
this morning, and ye will receive
a blank stare!

Turn back the hands of time,
well nigh eighty percent
since existence sans mein kampf.

Every summer informal conclave
regarding congregation of hippies
(most of whom found me
looking conservative – fully attired)
decide upon a locale communicated
thru the grapevine.

The Rainbow Family Gathering
(vast majority opting to shuck clothes)
that summer held in Cheoah National Forest
just outside Robbinsville
western North Carolina,
and the farthest south
clandestine group congregated.

Among the estimated 12, 700 attendees
(one of whom included yours truly),
more than fifty percent
of the sprawling masses
contracted the near fatal
outbreak of shigellosis.

Sanitation in the expansive campsite
ranked as poor to non-existent.

This absence of proper hygiene
provided opportunities
thru contaminated food,
water and person
to person contact.

Widespread transmission
of the very opportunistic disease
caused by Shigella sonnei,
resistant to ampicillin,
tetracycline, and trimethoprim
sulfamethoxazole;
the rapacious organism
categorized as colicin type 9,
and contained a 90-kilobase plasmid,
not found in non-contagious related strains.

Misery loves company,
and this epidemic plagued
the infected with unrelenting diarrhea
and general lower
gastrointestinal debilitation.

Unsure how this then
late twenty something singular male
managed to weather
the microbial onslaught,
which rendered me prone
to a doubled over spate
of being lobbed and hamstrung
hammering the lower gastrointestinal tract,
and incessant severe loss of nutriment
vis a vis thru ****** a steady state
quintessentially unable to nourish
an already slim body.

Upon relieving chronic purging
from the sphincter muscle,
the sensation to expel
countless times thereafter
explained (not recommended diet)
the rapid loss of weight.

Whence returning home
at that time 724 Level Road,
Collegeville, Pennsylvania, 19426,
this ghostly appearance of mine
immediately alarmed, discerned,
and gauged family members
to schedule me for
immediate medical intervention.

After being examined,
(what little flesh remained
of what resembled
a Holocaust Concentration camp victim),
the physician could offer
no pharmacological remedy.

As the days of my life passed
under bedside and medical watch
of mother, who worked
as a licensed practical nurse,
yet could do little or nothing
to halt her own demise courtesy
metastatic carcinoma viz
ovarian/uterine cancer
approximately seventeen years ago
early May 2020.
as mini reunion number
XLV fast approaches
Saturday, April 30th, 7:00 pm
until 10:00 pm
at The Trappe Tavern, 416 West
Main Street, Trappe, PA 19426
regarding graduating alma mater
brought to forefront
of my awareness,
though yours truly,

one generic beetle browed
fool on the hill,
and paperback writer wannabe
will not attend
haint gonna rile nor roil
ghosts from yesterday,
when all my troubles
upon cusp of rock and rolling
existential helter skelter prevailed
across universe of mine.

Although heavily steeped with fiction
trace amounts of factual essence
underlies the following account.

I spent remaining years of mein kampf
in quasi penal solitude
under strict surveillance of
jail wardens Boyce and Harriet Harris
both parochial parents of mine
long since passed away.

While comfortably and numbly housed
at 324 Level Road,
(an offsite facility
linked with semi progressive
incarceration modus operandi)
since razed to make room
for vinyl city,
yours truly shunted
from one to another institution,
albeit of higher learning,
which did nothing to alleviate
(their) constant harping
about Marxist slapstick brotherhood
regarding "dictatorship
of the proletariat".

I lacked fortitude and courage
to whether blistering punishment
falling short, and giving little weight
carrying out commanding orders
approved by presidents
elected and inaugurated
since 1976 until 2000 respectively.

While imprisoned for
abandoning being filial son
shirking household responsibilities
such as domestic chores
and property management,
cuz the estate of "Glen Elm"
incorporated approximately
some half dozen acres,
yours truly displayed
passive aggressive objection,
which behavior of mine
considered non compliant
essentially dereliction of duty
found me sequestered
within spacious bedroom.

Aforementioned safe space
offered singular identity guard
against brutal assaults
that actually began upon
onset when I became
sixteen years young
and immediately expected
to acquire gainful employment.

No such ambition existed
absolute zero  degree
of self confidence existed
to secure a part time job
(mainly on weekends),
nor did this then
long haired pencil necked geek,
(whose grungy appearance
closely resembles his younger self)
who back in day made any attempt

to foster effective hygiene, study habits,
time management, et cetera
especially completing assignments
in a timely manner,
hence practically failing,
and getting promoted
courtesy skin of his teeth,
which original set of choppers
replaced by snug fitting dentures
crafted by well trained technicians
schooled at University of Pennsylvania.

Many a pitched (emotional) battle fought
and attaining eighteen revolutions
around the sun
ultimatums (to get sent off
to the Gulag Archipelago)
materialized as empty threats.

Corrections and legal guardian
merely by dint of biological reproduction
officer Boyce gave vent
to his (sic) infamous midnight lectures
circa ~ late 1970's until early 1990's.

I dreaded every malevolent utterance
when father requested he speak
not about some choice topic de jure
that brought a twinkle to my eye
but that all to familiar monologue
finding me standing like stone wall
hearing, tuning out with equally
predictable trademark demurely meek
pose with hands crossed against chest
of this then painfully easily intimidated lad

despite feeling effects of utter ennui
and fatigue attempted to stand tall
against the tsunami verbal typhoon
itching to drown out said battle creek
when asked capisce? comprende? farshtayst?
looked blankly at floor well nigh
or pretended to stare at something
extremely fascinating on the kitchen wall
for he may as well asked if I understand 
in an unfamiliar language such as greek

most likely getting successful results
yammering away at common house fly
possibly seething inside (p’raps
equally swatted) ready
to lash out into a brawl
held back by fear plus in comparison
to me pop – just a itty bitty pipsqueak
felt onrushing of overpowering desire
to collapse and cry
compounded by growing urge

to urinate from natural urethral call
spoke nada word, nor gave hint
of hearing from loathsome
blather that did reek
like decomposition of fetid of dead
living entity that began to putrefy
which offal to mine ears, tugged impetus
under warm blankets to crawl
for remaining time on Earth!

Needles to say (er... or write)
neither warring party successful
though the cruel monster
no doubt wanted to mash
his veritable flesh and bone,
thus in retrospect
subsequent silence
declared pyrrhic victory.

Basket of deplorable (me)
never befriended any classmate
nor partook of extracurricular activities,
hence he failed to become linkedin
with peers, and would most likely
revert into socially withdrawn state.
as mini reunion number
XLV fast approaches
Saturday, April 30th, 7:00 pm
until 10:00 pm
at The Trappe Tavern, 416 West
Main Street, Trappe, PA 19426
regarding graduating alma mater
brought to forefront
of my awareness,
though yours truly,

one generic beetle browed
fool on the hill,
and paperback writer wannabe
will not attend
haint gonna rile nor roil
ghosts from yesterday,
when all my troubles
upon cusp of rock and rolling
existential helter skelter prevailed
across universe of mine.

Although heavily steeped with fiction
trace amounts of factual essence
underlies the following account.

I spent remaining years of mein kampf
in quasi penal solitude
under strict surveillance of
jail wardens Boyce and Harriet Harris
both parochial parents of mine
long since passed away.

While comfortably and numbly housed
at 324 Level Road,
(an offsite facility
linked with semi progressive
incarceration modus operandi)
since razed to make room
for vinyl city,
yours truly shunted
from one to another institution,
albeit of higher learning,
which did nothing to alleviate
(their) constant harping
about Marxist slapstick brotherhood
regarding "dictatorship
of the proletariat".

I lacked fortitude and courage
to whether blistering punishment
falling short, and giving little weight
carrying out commanding orders
approved by presidents
elected and inaugurated
since 1976 until 2000 respectively.

While imprisoned for
abandoning being filial son
shirking household responsibilities
such as domestic chores
and property management,
cuz the estate of "Glen Elm"
incorporated approximately
some half dozen acres,
yours truly displayed
passive aggressive objection,
which behavior of mine
considered non compliant
essentially dereliction of duty
found me sequestered
within spacious bedroom.

Aforementioned safe space
offered singular identity guard
against brutal assaults
that actually began upon
onset when I became
sixteen years young
and immediately expected
to acquire gainful employment.

No such ambition existed
absolute zero  degree
of self confidence existed
to secure a part time job
(mainly on weekends),
nor did this then
long haired pencil necked geek,
(whose grungy appearance
closely resembles his younger self)
who back in day made any attempt

to foster effective hygiene, study habits,
time management, et cetera
especially completing assignments
in a timely manner,
hence practically failing,
and getting promoted
courtesy skin of his teeth,
which original set of choppers
replaced by snug fitting dentures
crafted by well trained technicians
schooled at University of Pennsylvania.

Many a pitched (emotional) battle fought
and attaining eighteen revolutions
around the sun
ultimatums (to get sent off
to the Gulag Archipelago)
materialized as empty threats.

Corrections and legal guardian
merely by dint of biological reproduction
officer Boyce gave vent
to his (sic) infamous midnight lectures
circa ~ late 1970's until early 1990's.

I dreaded every malevolent utterance
when father requested he speak
not about some choice topic de jure
that brought a twinkle to my eye
but that all to familiar monologue
finding me standing like stone wall
hearing, tuning out with equally
predictable trademark demurely meek
pose with hands crossed against chest
of this then painfully easily intimidated lad

despite feeling effects of utter ennui
and fatigue attempted to stand tall
against the tsunami verbal typhoon
itching to drown out said battle creek
when asked capisce? comprende? farshtayst?
looked blankly at floor well nigh
or pretended to stare at something
extremely fascinating on the kitchen wall
for he may as well asked if I understand 
in an unfamiliar language such as greek

most likely getting successful results
yammering away at common house fly
possibly seething inside (p’raps
equally swatted) ready
to lash out into a brawl
held back by fear plus in comparison
to me pop – just a itty bitty pipsqueak
felt onrushing of overpowering desire
to collapse and cry
compounded by growing urge

to urinate from natural urethral call
spoke nada word, nor gave hint
of hearing from loathsome
blather that did reek
like decomposition of fetid of dead
living entity that began to putrefy
which offal to mine ears, tugged impetus
under warm blankets to crawl
for remaining time on Earth!

Needles to say (er... or write)
neither warring party successful
though the cruel monster
no doubt wanted to mash
his veritable flesh and bone,
thus in retrospect
subsequent silence
declared pyrrhic victory.

Basket of deplorable (me)
never befriended any classmate
nor partook of extracurricular activities,
hence he failed to become linkedin
with peers, and would most likely
revert into socially withdrawn state.
Elysian fields long since embraced dada's soul
which rocketed into aerospace
(courtesy General Electric satellite)
just a tad more'n eighteen plus months ago,
nevertheless melancholy
still plucks mine heart strings.

Mine psyche still situated awry
placid countenance of yours truly doth belie
residual sadness easily prompted
can easily trigger me to cry
linkedin when grim reaper gloated
October 7th, 2020
ye did somewhat peacefully die
though methinks immortality
I did briefly espy,

when miracles of modern medicine
tried, but could not
stave off mortality nor fortify
depredations of aging concerning
one wunderkind whose accomplishments
laudatory when a young handsome guy,
whose intelligence scored high
native talent aptitude tests did imply.

The late Boyce Brandon Harris
exhibited prolific talents at young age
aside being scholastically gifted,
acquiring graduate degree
courtesy Columbia University,
freshly minted mechanical engineer
(he admirably ranked within
uppermost percentile academically),
I hashtag thy mine deceased father
(a polymath - jack-of-all-trades),
who possessed (née excelled)
at diverse creative abilities.

Aside from being schooled
as mechanical engineer,
(which courses in mathematics and science
he passed with flying colors)
his mind genetically bequeathed
to craft almost anything under the sun
evidenced first by yours truly,
the second offspring and sole son
who ofttimes felt intimidated
at being in presence
of said Renaissance man.

Handicrafts included
expending blood, sweat, and tears
to craft multitude of projects;
i. building me Flintstone (foot powered)
car with wooden license plate.
ii. making playhouse for all three
of us - his progeny.
iii. amassing wood pile(s),
to stoke wood burning stoves
iv. designing Zayda trail for Teddy and Ruff
(two doggone mixed breed Border Collies
rescued courtesy youngest sister
at her Jacobsburg, Penna work site)
v. constructing sauna in cellar,

vi. etching, detailing (ala fresco),
vii. plus trimming living room ceiling,
viii. shingling (while fiddling) on the roof,
ix. tiling the kitchen floor,
x. building a cistern for brethren,
xi. wood paneling many rooms,
xii. building custom made toy chest,
xiii. stringing up lights to increase visibility
driveway lit like Christmas tree after dark,
xiv. partly assembled a kayak,
xv. retooling - enhancing porch
(formerly slate covered),
where Morris dancers performed
at wedding for eldest sister.
xvi. Helping, née completing
homework/school assignments.

Unlike him who did beget me
I experienced cognitive challenges
that beset one painfully shy
and severely introverted male
more to the point
as a lad and mediocre student to boot
promotion to next highest grade
occurred just by the skin of my teeth,
which may help to explain
why I wear dentures,
oh... these choppers worn for about
one sixth of mein kampf livingsocial.

A sense of inadequacy prevailed,
when absolute zero self esteem
strikingly and suddenly manifested
in tandem when parents moved
their young tender family within
Lower Providence School District,
but into a larger house
(initial summer estate constituted
about one hundred acres of woodland -
named Glen Elm
think Winnie the Pooh -
house at Pooh corner -).

Not quite two score plus ten years
spent livingsocial at 324 Level Road
(above mentioned abode alluded),
and twas there majority
mine existential highs and lows,
where nadir of mein kampf transpired,
I emotionally hit rock bottom
upon onset of prepubescence
yet major event triggering
mine major depression
set in motion,
when parents chose February 28th, 1968
to move out of shoddily constructed domicile
located on Lantern Lane.

As shared with Renee Cardone
(the therapist whose virtual sessions
linkedin courtesy Doxy.me portal -
similar to Zoom),
that aforementioned date
marked a turning point
after which time, I floundered
experiencing irrevocable mental health issues
punctuating my psychological equilibrium
with chronic distress,
though I forgive father and mother
who unwittingly made decision to move.
Apr 2022 · 170
Swing Sets And Jungle Gyms
(or swing sets and monkey bars)

A pitch perfect spring day
such as today April 8th, 2022
within quaint hamlet
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
in close proximity within mind's eye
to Lake Wobegon, Minnesota
finds me reminiscing...

When, scads of light years ago
(half life of mein kampf),
while yours truly,
at that time a father linkedin
emotionally, mentally and socially
kibitzing with his two young adorable girls,
ah charming children indeed
(totally unbiased opinion that)
both sweet lassies to boot
figuratively got their daddy
tightly wrapped around all four

of their middle fingers,
matter of fact coercive Munchkin,
and her younger sibling Shayna Punim
both whose playful rebukes
courtesy daughters role playing
stern yet affectionate “mama,”
this papa feigned not to heed,
maybe begetting a boy
(cuz I ofttimes then
envisioned being pro creative
regarding bequeathing XY chromosomes

which engendered gifting us a son;
i.e. ideally conceived male child -
obviously at mercy
of biological random chance
genetic material receiving
proper allotment to garner
personal pronoun predicated
upon strict binary addressable as he/him),
when reproductive gamble roulette
never did yield nor diploid offspring
to carry forth Harris surname

constituting for good measure
genetic qua mixed breed,
would have elicited contrary response,
when playing reversed roles
whereby Matthew Scott the kid
(Billy me) not docile like his real self
and his imaginary male progeny
aplomb (fig your at Tivoli) found me
taking his fruitful lead
apple lee going bananas acceptable
make believe games regarding

above named adult playing
mischievous, innocuous, harmless
behavior committing neither
illegal transgression nor misdeed
from this grown man,
Sir Wren during self to architect
landing flat on me then
palm pilot sized ***
(measured by Andre the Giant)
as if drunk from mead,
where playfulness my creed

those were the days my friend...
years ago that streamed
flicked across thee ethereal net
at lightspeed, I experienced
manifest destiny nsync
with government assigned
mummy dearest head shrinker
taking eminent domain freed
Aladdin side me, those decades,
sans long gone fatherhood
plus roles he learned to succeed

recalling catfights ('twixt
daughters) he assertively refereed,
who cherished those
offspring, he did seed -
reckons adult opportunity
gifted yours truly mentoring
with excellence they did exceed
unlike yours truly
he rarely ever let loose maybe once,
the scairt (of his own shadow) boy inside
subsequently cowering frightened lad,

healthy development anxiety did impede
his spontaneity ****** and leveed,
thus renaissance awoke
to travel back in time
reliving boyhood non disrupted,
and prior to parenthood,
would be less apt to concede
how natural to bond with progeny
fostered by being keyed
into esprit de corps of biological charges,
now grown without need,

nor want of his company (halt)
sudden embarrassment that person,
whose absence in
“My Struggle” did bleed
unstaunched sadness till affixing
available spare time with books to read,
and poems to write attempting to feed
an errant stray tear every now and again,
more pronounced as father time guaranteed
begetting precious bundles of joy,
how pedestrian days

of yore like a tumbleweed
(think T.S. Elliot)
rocketed them thru preschool, kindergarten...
high school, college now this doddering
doth oft attempt (with futility) to reach them...
even cherished memories insync
with Jack and Jill Truck klaxon dost recede.
I revised a poem written
January twenty second
last year – two thousand twenty one
regarding gratitude for Medicare
Insurance to foot the bill
concerning ability to heal
courtesy immune system
undergoing toe till agency
or closest approximation thereof  
impossible mission to undergo
one hundred percent protection
against contracting deadly illness,
viz latest epidemic impacting civilization.

Here at Highland Manor Apartments
Saturday January twenty third,
two thousand and twenty one,
I attest yours truly
received the first (of four)
inoculations to stave off
getting COVID-19,
thus mine poetic title
might not seem absurd.

Wednesday February third
and Friday October twenty second
same year as above
witnessed himself receiving
second and third injections respectively
to diminish vulnerability
contracting transmissible pathogen.

Today Wednesday April sixth
two thousand twenty two
poet of Perkiomen Valley
received the fourth
bringing him up to date
(or speed if you prefer druggist's lingo)
with Center for disease
control recommendations.

Aforementioned stance toward death
(meaning taking preventative measures
to live healthy existence)
obviously avoid Saturday night fever
regarding desire Stayin' Alive
and most oppressive
when mine mental, physical
and/or spiritual yours truly
takes a (swan) dive
analogous where bajillion bees
swarm from their hive.

Linkedin with well known poem by and by
penned by Emily Dickinson, I didst decry
expressed her relief
to surender release
and amazingly gracefully die
"Because I could not stop for Death,"
she aptly crafted verses to comply
reverently, merrily, and gloriously accepting
cessation of existence well nigh
as does one garden variety generic goofy guy.

All natural catastrophes aside,
plus excluding thermonuclear war,
where civilization would get fried
nullifying idea viz,
let conscience be your guide,
nor no place to run and hide
left to grapple with dystopian quandary

shuttering fright housed inside
in one **** annihilating prejudice
(white privilege included) and pride
reducing to ashes trumpeting
self importance, where snide
persona grata becomes irrelevant
as does living social
or vacationing in Telluride.

Interestingly enough,
I do not entertain notions
inflicting self harm nor suicide,
but expect longevity (to ride
one after another orbitz around the sun)

minimum total (represented courtesy
value units and tens place)
equaling the largest double digit
in plain Olde English aged
to perfection groom and bride
attains at least ninety nine years.

Despite skittering within hair's breadth or blink
looming over the edge no time to think,
cuz no matter being knight in shining armor
I can scrunch and squint thru visored *****,
and espy and the title
of a storied book by Tom Wolfe I think
Old Rotten Gotham sliding into behavioral sink,
amidst so much flotsam and jetsam

while singing Skidamarink
surrender unavoidable fate
cuz destiny dis rapper doth not shrink
and recognizes that whatever does not ****
will only make me stronger
(money back guarantee)
I attain a spry five score birthdays
and while away hours
playing solitary game of tiddlywink.
courtesy of management in general
and particularly Jackie Geiger
assistant property agent.

One benefit living social
at Highland Manor Apartments
until decrepit and bent...
constitutes qualifying for reimbursement
direct deposited into checking
as chump change event,
hence one generic grateful gent
feels self satisfied as Clark Kent.

After broken wing and prayer
granted courtesy The Flying Tigers
at long last located valuable information
issued December of each year
surprisingly enough exactly where
social security (2021) 1099 form
remained untouched, I swear,
yet earlier yesterday April 5th,  2022
at 1500 hours though very near,
and finally located necessary documentation
(think rental rebate) here
with unexpected discovery

birthed following poem aware
many if not all avid readers
will not care, nor give rat's a$$
regarding humdrum minor dilemma
involving one bonafide
**** sapiens merely
bruising himself – common Joe
garden variety generic biomass,
nonetheless, he fetes, lauds, tauts...
rental rebate tantamount
approximating financial reimbursement
without being unduly crass.

Thus reasonable rhyme
yours truly doth aire
without stut... stut...
stuttering, yet no guarantee
wordsworth their weight
in gold will ring clear
more likely receive
frosty reception everywhere
across world wide web,
perhaps with unwelcome glare,

yet profuse apology
if man with wit - me,
(i.e. Whitman) didst unwittingly interfere
with unwanted distraction
courtesy bobbing square
pants donned sponge
soaking up precious time (yours)
foolish longfellow rushing in where
one capricorn long since wed
not nsync, but alone,

cuz angels fear to tread
"quod erat demonstrandum"
forgotten Latin accessed
at least once year
when yours truly crafts poetry
more familiarly recognized as Q.E.D.
(shares close pronunciation
with ska quid word)
ditch costs extra nay saying
horse sense according to Ned,
whoop sorry, I meant mister Ed.

Chalk up the above
tummy knocker round
motley fool whimsical caprice
forever one generic
(ewe among us) scapegoat
bullied, lambasted, ostracized...
simian still silently suffering
life threatening wounds
since no protective Jason,
nor the Golden Fleece

shielded me against
Tormentors of Torghast even after
becoming gratefully dead,
struck by lightning bolts well greased
they will still increase
only difference when nonexistence prevails,
versus while given lease
as run(t) of the mill mortal
doth finally welcoming peace
of body, mind and spirit.

Aforestated gallimaufry mishmash
hoopfully doth explain
tangentially, loosely and amazingly
one after another graceful linkedin refrain
now heeds intuitive trumpeted
clarion call moon faced
cybersurfer to wax and wane.

Roll up welcome Harris tweed
Scottish tartan mat after
lame attempt bing witty and wise
fame and fortune elude,
nevertheless logophile continuously tries
this April 6th, 2022  no surprise
quotidian series of Lemony Snicket induced
unfortunate circumstances did rise
every hour these myopic eyes
blinked cognitive depth youthfulness belies,
when dawning consciousness did arise.
Earlier today April 4th, 2022,
which supersedes bald faced headlines
pointing finger and
Putin blame for Bucha killings
squarely on head & shoulders
of Russian autocrat, née
yours truly lathered
his hirsute higglety-pigglety
thinning oily tresses.

Hark….the herald angels sing,
snapchat and twitter Uber view doo
for mass communication mediums
stop the well conditioned presses
when I, a regular schlemiel
took shampoo to mine matted mass mop
(lame and feeble dreadful locks)
of straggly follicles, and commenced
to dispense with the heady ecosystem

viz rare crop of flora and fauna
(some rank as endangered species)
rub and band together
to scratch envy of flaky key
neigh bring ponytails
and create quite an niche,
and where also can be found
lousy knit wit vendors ready to scalp
and give shaft to razor sharp purveyors,

who mane lee scout out
available head room to nap
without a stir, tub bed down
(praying  Holy Scott no wash out
nor Harris mint occurs),
or burrow vis a vis,
where subcutaneous porous droplet size
water ship down pieces of
prime residence found

counting one mister
comb lee bald faced realtor
amidst competing rival
bulb buss (h)Edward scissorhands
(with knot to heavy a price toupee)
affianced to rapunzel,
whom he sheared split ends
as her barber of civil,
one dapper dan duh ruff dude to offer

lice cent shuss insects a tonsured cut
above other stylish habitués
(preferring to fraternize,
glad-hand, and hobnob
amidst a cluster of big wigs
housed by yours truly - Samson
in gleaming puffy pompadour
pads tightly secured
with the best dreadlocks,

which harum-scarum
green barrettes serve
as first line of rinse able defense
IdentityGuard (with franchisee
Bob O Link averse
to split hairs, but fierce
as a Mohawk and ring leader
to protect any curl of mine)
waving away intruders,

who if insist tubby persistent
and tangle with fate
cannot expect camaraderie
from buzz cutting crew i.e. the fuzz
to give expletive filled lathering,
severe shame poo wing subjugation
plus an up braiding experience),
and teach stragglers
they will suffer a real perm

in hint bang up job
and experience embarrassing cut up
if they brazenly brush
against brylcreem of the crop
rooted as rightful heirs (hairs)
of tousled doo mane
and thus tail all told.
with pistachio shells April 3rd, 2021
sitting in the exact same chair
yours truly sat three hundred
and sixty five days ago.

Watermelons, grapefruits, oranges...
lobbed at yours truly ruled out,
hence the missus dreamt up bright idea
to enfilade me courtesy pistachio shells.

Rather than just hurl one at a time,
(she who unwittingly helped inspire
contents of reasonable rhyme)
decided to throw handfuls
leguminous encasement
constituting cellulose and lignin,
creating woody appearance and texture.

Spouse trends toward being poor aim
nevertheless still manages
to wreak havoc
upon mine body electric,
I once upon a time
doubting thomas peacemonger became
anarchist overnight whereat
foo fighters claim
beastie boy wedded to culture club
divorce no longer sought
against devilish, girlish,

Jordache versus Levi Strauss
mulish, queerish fictitious dame
prone toward profanities to exclaim
waxes with wicked disposition
her charisma and persona sparkles
analogous to blinding flame
burning with passion
to play Gerald's game.

Said artificial intelligence I activate
courtesy mine overactive imagination,
she occasionally accidentally does berate
divine creator (me), yet more often than not
we feign shunning law and order
as faux vigilantes to celebrate

life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
allowing, enabling, and providing
opportunities to deviate
against nonestablishmentarian
dogma and ethos, I'm gonna estimate
as generally popular

counter culture paradigm
helping to beget, birth and facilitate
iconic nineteen ninety sixties
liberal transition to toleration
within parochial schema
did unwittingly generate
loosening quintessential

conventional racial and ****** precepts,
where obsolete doctrines staid to hibernate
sustaining repressive stereotypical mores
housing totalitarian, racist, bigoted
White Supremacist poisonous bile
doth fester and incubate.

Machinations of maniacs loose ill will
figuratively unhinged **** sapiens
destroy webbed fabric of civilization
domestic hate crimes on the rise
homegrown terrorism beget
vile killing rampages which proliferate
courtesy easy access to guns

triggering pandemic of violence
fueling undeclared warfare
putting innocent lives
within crosshairs
no time for victims to bid adieu
only option remaining for surviving
to mourn slain friends and family.

Grave situation rocks world
as ten commandments get unfurled,
whereby complacent grim reaper
with his signature scythe
within gnarled bony hands
he gamely twirled
since time immemorial,
and will be victor among many spoils

as tumultuous upheaval roils
courtesy reprobate who
brings death and destruction in their wake
giddy with delight at one or more
human lives he/she did take
causing, fomenting, instigating...
grievous sorrow to quake
perhaps someone with my namesake.
Found yours truly
a grateful dead head
convenient scapegoat dejure
Norristown police officers
fingerprinted me for
casual postal employment
linked to vicious brutal crime
someone else who shared
identical name and fingerprints as mine
the latter of corpse far fetched
stole social security

I ream member –
being held ransom
bound and gagged
if paperback writer
wrote story resultant account
would total about 300 newpages
printed August 16th, 2019.
    
Despite never committing
major criminal offense
routine dactylogram
pointed ****** finger of guilt
at me, and an all expense trip
paid to high security prison.

I initially thought ruse
as cruel prank (Ritz large),
and utter nonsense
good humor quickly melted away
nsync with sense and sensibility
after getting roughly manhandled
courtesy dense sumo size wrestlers
(think Andre the giant)
humongous state troopers.

They spoke staccato rapid
fire automatic gunfire tongue
with unfamiliar accents,
and kept no holds barred
steely iron tense grip
upon this skinny, shy, scared...
long haired pencil necked geek.

Said uniformed, nasty mean looking,
heavily muscled, pierced, tattooed...
armed to the dagger oh type teeth
gendarmes escorted, forced, shoved...

These foo fighters,
not friendly village people,
nor Mister Fred Roger type gents
violently tossed yours truly...
carelessly knocked out
any remaining toothless cents
from out my noggin.

Slam dunked me
into back seat bullet proof
partitioned cheaply tricked
paddy wagon went these lovely bones.

Events of my life passed
before myopic mind's third eye blind.

These hooligans counted as nothing
but hoodlums from Bedlam.

A "FAKE" outlaw film
of unreel projections,
unspooled, and untethered
within fifty shades of fist size gray matter.

Surreal elegance definitely
case of mistaken rather stolen identity
perpetrator(s) data mined
under my uber outsize honker
mine outside Semitic schnozzle
created double blind spot.
    
Yea twas while aye became entranced,
mesmerized, yoked (albeit visually)
courtesy aromatic exotic incense
held this hybrid piqued bishop,
chain mailed (gratis
United States postal service)
good knight captive,
where agents provocateurs
kickstarted, out maneuvered,
and pinned yours truly with engulfed  
par excellence for the course.

Aforesaid mean drama
played out across mine
mien anxiety riddled body electric.

Analogous to once upon time
life size chess board,
I felt marshalled
(tuckered out nonetheless)
like life size pawn
gambled as live pièce de résistance.
Time and again
jovial imp does succeed
at collecting aggregate of infinite moments
nabbing, snagging and yoking yours truly,
a fortitudinous erstwhile
citizen banker travels at warp speed
impossible mission to thwart tempus fugit
analogous to ambuscade by time thief
little rascal who steals
most precious commodity

right before mine myopic eyes
abstract artificial construct
hastens cradle to grave lifespan
hoping chance fellow
space traveler will read
these words, though quite futile
one skeptic could believe
he would experience salvation
prayerfully clasping hands
he doth gently plead

for nought, cuz greed
for immortality a wish
that does exede
by lightyears the outward bounds
for **** sapien breed
****** to die at birth
destroyed by space debris
aliens purportedly buzzfeed
feeling akin to crash test dummy
at mercy where asteroid
can annihilate me I accede.

Seconds, minutes, hours
days, weeks, months
and years speed away
free falling thru space/time continuum
superfluous to request belay,
nevertheless yours asks
for custom made sturdy rope
quite an accomplishment
given such short notice,
which said contrivance

would necessitate being wrapped
(while remaining rapt)
ensconced within outsize
full body jacket beltway
resembling human cocoon
after I pulled up the slack
essentially gifted to dark shadows
twenty four seven -
resembling edge of night
all the while

loosely tethered courtesy gravity
though feeling comfortably numb
zipping by the dark side of the moon
dreaming about Old rotten Gotham
sliding thru behavioral sink,
this while yahoo (me)
courtesy tenuous connection
suddenly severed Earthlink
simultaneously mouthing "Aw, Snap!"

No longer linkedin
with webbed wide world
bitta bing bitta bang
voodoo spell suddenly cast upon
uber hotmail, whereby
his poetic side tumblr unlocked
subsequently he resembles
an infinitesimal across
celestial sea ethereal
poetrysoup amidst creation,
a mere cosmic speck afloat
canvas studded heavens
starry night gallery.
Descendent of proto humans
dumbfounded, mystified, stupefied, et cetera
despite plethora of technological trappings,
whereby world wide web virtually linkedin
allowing, enabling, and providing
instantaneous electronic feedback,
I still experience dearth
of mental, psychological and social
meaningfulness amidst cerebral chaos
courtesy healthy mailer daemons

occupying sixty plus shades of gray matter
more valuable then any terrain
designated as Silicon Valley or Wall Street
constituting nexus of brain power,
where metaphysical thoughts proliferate
and ponder such basic thought
such as who art yours truly
what (I declare)
will constitute date with death
and where will corporeal flesh
and spirit separately journey?

Since time immemorial
millennium generations
happenstance bestowed **** sapiens
ability to become self aware
double edged figurative sword
allowing, enabling, providing...
forebears of yesteryear
to marvel at life, and
reckon with death,
which mixed blessing
wrestling with living and dying

also confronts man/womankind
during twenty first century
said inscrutable dilemma,
albeit reconciling mortality
linkedin with consciousness
heightened, tested, under_scored...
particularly at demise dearly departed
inadvertently affect
upon surviving family members
hijacking, offsetting, upending...

fracturing emotional composure
prompting immediate questions
regarding purposefulness living
nee, being born essentially to die
predestined to pass away
identical fate decreed upon
all animals and plants
bolstered by believing deity
foreordained every creature
past, present, and future,

yet most pronounceable afflicting
non denominational, non
religious, non sectarian
case in point Unitarian,
vis a vis visa versa secular humanists,
especially nonsensical poet wannabe
riddled with perplexity
about nature of being alive
wondering what explains
essence constituting individual fluke

finding meaning scuttling
across world wide web
hither and yon, to and fro
dumbfounded at futility
absolute zero adequate answers
(again, unless one subscribes
to codified doctrinal dogma
i.e. religion, faith, creed...)
I attest as garden variety primate
baffled, flummoxed, nonplussed...

why chance genetic dice throw
gifted me finite time
solely to contemplate
(more than just my navel)
meaningfulness analogous
to scrutinizing Möbius strip
unable to identify
inscrutable mystery
defining random existence
specifically essence
happenstance/circumstance
which begat me Matthew Scott Harris.

His noggin mottled, plagued, and riddled
with debilitating accursed impediments
since birth circa
January xiii mcmlix.
to mein kampf insync with mine body dysmorphia

After reading articles
published within April 4/11 2022
of The Nation
I challenged the efficacy
taking prescription medication
categorized as SSRIs
and/or SNRIs.

Unpleasant side effects
such as earth shaking dreams
and/or especially hefty weight gain
linkedin with former
comprising my daily cocktail
of approved prescription medication
courtesy nurse practitioner.

Deliberation about courting death rooted
throughout mine psyche
fueling sinister chortle
at least since bout with anorexia nervosa,
but... maybe ginned blood,
sans umbilical cord transfused in utero aortal,

though long since recovered, the intractable,
haunting specter, sans grim reaper
intertwining within every fiber of this mortal
rooted, grounded deep, and branched out
into each nook and cranny portal.

Said notion provoked,
when made painfully aware
youngest daughter (aged twenty three)
plagued with similar thoughts,
**** genetics did maliciously engineer

clutching telephone while
seated at edge of chair
did apologetically, despairingly,
grievously... did air
pestilential, penitential, plenipotential... scare

re: distraction and understandable fear,
she might unwittingly plunge
into hopeless abysmal despair
falling prey into irrevocable
deathly hallows lair,

though kudos for her
from me, this sole Harris heir
to communicate, (albeit
hesitantly) into mine ear
suddenly wishing thy

Shayna Punim to be near,
but residing (about three hour drive
southeast of Portland, Oregon)
with my kid sister, attentive to welfare,
a sibling whose persona

doth show tender loving care
and concern, this papa
felt reassured there
would be every action taken
with sixth sense to beware

lest progeny exhibits
pointedly obvious lurching career
dramatic slide in tandem
with Old Rotten Gotham
into behavioral sink
emergency measures sibling
immediately would commandeer,

hence somewhat relieved thee dear
beloved progeny receptive to hear,
this dada expressed his unconditional love,
and grateful psychological intervention
offspring boldly did declare

indicative professional help volunteer
really asserted necessary to stave off
how dice throw of fate unfair
to said lass, whose demise,
would abruptly **** this sonneteer!
prevaricated forth write Declaration!

As most every girl and boy
taught back in the day,
learning base sic life lessons,
when going to Zerns,
(now permanently closed,
but once upon a time one
bustling, flourishing, thriving
Farmers Market formerly
a year-round farmers' market located
in Gilbertsville, Pennsylvania.

It was located along Philadelphia Avenue
near Bartman Avenue,
close to Pennsylvania Route 100.

Two buildings located on the property:
a lowercase "t" shaped main building
and an "L" shaped enclosed
flea market building,
where characters across
all walks of life congregated
gabbled, regaled each the others
akin to golden age of story telling,

when rapt listening ears
willingly leant eager attention
to a riveting speaker
such as this jolly shop
o' horror keeper learned,
modest, and non
establishmentarian obliging self,
(who even now doth still yearns)

to spin a tattling tale, this ole codger,
who today more frequently, keenly,
and patiently plods along
volatile memory lane
visiting woebegone yesteryear
scores of orbitz ago,
those well worn pathways,
could be trekked blindfolded
so often by foot thee trails traversed,
(yet without ever feeling
a sense of duff feet) over hills

and thru woods thick
with wary, scary, nerdy,
and Rem: markably hairy
muppet like monsters,
the author, who wrote
10,000 Leagues Under The Sea,
(and other suspense
filled stories namely
the prolific writer
Jules Gabriel Verne's),
vivid imagination him,

would undoubtedly have experienced
a field day in seventh heaven
taking wooded rough hewn
rudimentary walkabout by turns
clear cut versus creepy simply to reach
a one classroom per grade school,
where masters did teach
being apprenticed asper Art Of The Deal
(latent within power
to sound convincing, though "FAKE,)"

but convincing legendary
personal myths repeated to bolster appeal
such as larger then life "Founding Fathers"
unquestionable brazen, brave, and brass
daring deeds across the Lake
(Atlantic Ocean, whose worsted weave
sub woofer - did make
the 6:00 o'clock news the evening
of July 4th 1776, and thus didst spake
(perhaps with the help of Zarathustra)

yet,...the under belly
of such bravura involved take
king (by subtle or obvious force) lands
revered by Native Americans
leaving a trail of tears,
destruction, and death
(more accurately genocide), thus my
(expected patriotism) moored
within wicked wake,
hence aye avail muted tone deaf

emotion on par with a charade
particularly, where deportees
of late awful treatment
force me to a give a low
*** slant (Failing) grade,
where home of the brave
land of the free (or visa versa)  
do masquerade makes a mockery,
travesty, sham parade
AND this chap feels as if,

he too partook of
murderous indigenous raid
venal business complete,
when every once proud
“Red man” violently slayed
or displayed as token showpiece
bartered analogous
to bustling art house trade
unless demise snatched
uprooted human property
subsequently conveniently waylaid.
Mar 2022 · 152
I made a beeline bustle
Hurriedly enroute to her royal majesty
porcelain goddess throne
whereupon earlier today
March 28th, 2022,
after incomplete defecation
sitting pretty on pissoir,
I jiggled and wiggled posterior

(analogous to performing
the *** bared hustle)
until gasping for breath
though unable to shake loose
dangling ******* yours truly
nevertheless synchronously praise zing
a mostly functioning sphincter muscle.

Gross and smelly
as human excrement considered
expelling ***** matter comprises
important function, whereby any unspent
ingested material shunted
thru alimentary canal
then spewed courtesy sphincter vent.

**** lies zing constipation
and/or stubborn stuck drek
nothing to poo poo about,
cuz when bedeviled by
colorectal obstruction,
no matter emetics
applied with bonafide clout
without wasted doubt,
that malodorous, maleficent
malevolent malady
body electric doth flout
analogous to uranus

clogged with grout,
whereat no heroic
efforts break loose,
the severely obstructed bowel,
thus spurring determined,
desperate derriere plea
for proctologist sought
to relieve constipation

equipped with a special
"J" shaped, hooked,
and designed dowel
in an effort
to pry stoppage
if/when yours truly constipated
jamming up human cloaca,
where rock solid stubborn
immovable **** emits foul

gaseous emanations accompanied
with a$$ a nine growl
followed by red hot,
fiery excruciating spasms
shooting jagged pain
inducing yours truly to access,
the werewolf within howl,
where a preference for sciatica,
in place, but my ill luck
regarding aforementioned plight
merely naming said nerve pain
accursed affliction arises

analogous to parasite malefactor thieve
ving would be
equally unpleasant and offer
absolutely zero reprieve
along heinie kin cheeky jowl,
thence finding me
resorting to peeve
hush scream therapy,
which wrought nothing,
no pain did re: leave
me bummed out ***,
but veins snapping,

popping, and crackling,
utmost effort I forcefully heave
oye how aye did grieve
plus a bajillion
gallons of perspiration,
while lower gastrointestinal
agonizing torture didst cleave
entire abdominal
area please believe
without aforementioned crisis,
and feeble poem,
I could not achieve.
dating back circa: Age of computer antiquity
mine signature worthless gibberish
found Earthling dumbfounded
for further waste of time inquire
about trivial details constituting
more'n six electronic new pages
the following an excerpt from book of
Matthew Scott Harris.

Courtesy of AskJeeves,
and special acknowledgement
to Google search algorithm, this anachronistic
Travelocity bing Ray Orbitz son cent
reincarnate with good n Plenti
of LegalZoom dost Lyft
me Wii Progressive poise, an are dent
lee boosts bonhomie duty
BuzzFeed ding on Fancy Feast

honesty coalesces into Elements
of style – suitable
to Strunk n White accolade gent
he blogs a fictitious vignette
taking add Vonage of Samsung
a viz zit from Clark Kent
one kickstarter for
incredible computer software programs
and sturdy Mainframe he kin lent.

Particular pattering patois,
prompts pathetic ploy
per poetic provenance readers
attempt to plow headstrong
into skein of lettered litter thicket
of Vanity Fair verbiage,
y’all count Outlook incorporating
what he doth **** sitter
tubby hottest n coolest
common nanobots
pinging, skittering n thriving
within binary bitmap
digital boot not embittered, nor a quitter
an unseen electronic/
microscopic realm Weeknd
snapchat tweet and twitter.

Countless applications
constitutes information superhighway
(thanx Al Gore), this computer addict
plucked from wing

of broken kin prayer
while Samsung and Delilah -
hiz significant thing
hearty soulful byte size flickr
patented technological silent ringtone
signaling data communications packets
fueling hand held devices did ping.

Many automatic, cryptic,
esoteric, generic, intrinsic…et cetera
fiber optic pulsating stupefying vector
criss crossing, twas impossible
twin selection process
in virtual reality sector
which smattering of whatsapp
countless twenty first century human projector,
where computer applications anachronistically
don ensemble epistle
as mull logical nectar
I Trump petsmart
word smith re: scrivener effecter.

Shiloh Golong and describe,
which Apple of my eye
(amidst all the Core ****
sans millions of equally omitted,
yet equally appealing, enlivening,
incorporating, outsourcing Wans
et cetera populate virtual reality)
resonated within
Chrome moe so mull Bing vans?

Skype n Angry Bird If ya need
to take Avast break
please Compaq to this
Dell a where Century21,
Foursquare Hotmail seeks Joyus mirth
from Instagram Pennsylvania,
who (despite eternal Allianz
with Uber youth)
witnessed The Birth of Cosmos -
hiss story give or take
a million years, I remember
literate Geico caveman
discovering Victoria’s Secret
how Kindle took a Tumblr,
when Tinder lit Circuit City gone amiss!

This Earthlinked, Googly eyed
(brown), Hotmail wannabe
paperback writer
(pseudonym name Page Turner)
dwells in Bell Atlantic
thinking about notions as:
Airgas, Comcast, Excelon…. Verizon
plus responding to classified advertisements
x spearmint ting feigning myself
tubby Youtube star bachelor
hoop ping to dance with female stars
accidently twerk ma Sovereign
Palm Pilot size rear!
Mar 2022 · 217
Wordsmith's Veneration...
Methinks, I post literary endeavors inxs
but tis with blood, sweat and tears
in case ye did not guess,
who struggles to craft reasonable rhyme
ideally read by a pleasing poetess.

Aye ***** nilly understate (trying to)
tantalize, hypnotize, galvanize...
with "FAKE" trumpeting
spellbinding, rambling, quivering...
intoxicating, hallucinating, gyrating,
stop to take a breather...

English Language vocabulary, a
fascination, intoxication, provocation...
upon me ocular, neurological, mental...
faculties of this nattering nabob
from outer limits of twilight zone
i.e. literary krazy Jewish jabberwocky

issuing haphazard global toll till
fallout exacting deserved ****
cratering nascent (inchoate) career
digitally/electronically bi:
ne'er re: carpet bombing

away upon modus operandi, sans
sesquipedalian shrapnel strafes wrought
realization literary scaffolding
complex edifice thought
out in mind of yours truly,
not popularly sought

opportunity to experience
rush of excitement,
asper choice winner equals naught
inexorable effort to cobble innovative
linkedin words disappointment fraught
submissions witness polite declinations

attesting, lamenting, regarding poetic
expansive glommed language, unlikely
success tubby brought
adulation, commendation, enunciation...
fades into afterthought.

Ablest adept adroit aficionado
applauded aspiring authors accorded
absolute badge because
brevity brews brilliant burnished
bravado bubbling budding bulwark
captivatingly collates, communicates,
constitutes conveys avast literary

Grand Canyon chiseled, sans scribe's
Colorado devoid, asper driven desperado
contrariwise, through prevalent
persistent pinterest proclivity,
plus plethora pronounced propensity

resoundingly regaling readers
re: raffish ridiculous rumination
renders endeavor incommunicado
diligent doggedness ironically -
dampens dueling dynamic dud

dutifully dramatically diminishing
divine dreaming skin deemed darling
distinguished doodling I sip
prose poe hit tick drafter
equally or exceeding
prospects envisioning El Dorado,

thus this 1% Neanderthal
bets his sweet bippy
and bottom dollar
febrile frenzy to fashion words
essentially relegated as dense bupkis
will automatically plummet
hook, line and sinker
10,000 leagues under the sea
accidentally discovered courtesy
scuba diver assisted by Octopus teacher.

He subjects unsuspecting readers
to lumbering lugubrious trademark
style saturing media airwaves,
thus instinctive immediate attribute
acutely sensing reasonable non-rhyme
heading directly to Davy Jones locker
years later discovered posthumously
and hailed as figurative
long lost sunken treasure
linkedin to the outstanding
ascribed to yours truly,
honorable Master scribe
among pantheon of great poets - ha
a run of the mill
schlepping logophile.
The last trailing tendril filaments
of moon beams nocturnally trace
fashion an illusory gilded chariot Ark,
whence upon celestial runners,
the approach of dawn's early light
illuminated terrestrial space
which nebulous solar city flanges
revisited since time millennial
hubbub of human race
nsync with Zodiacal constellations,
which appear to shift

as planet Earth axis place
alternated in accordance with
inexplicable universal teenage
mutant Ninja turtles joint pact
with power rangers assumption
sans quotidian playstation remotely
controlled by aliens upon
oblate spheroid figurative stage
set whence commencement nudged
village people foment quiet riot rage
and rant against

uncontrollable catastrophic frenzy,
when cosmic creator
rehearses another page
from playbook, which
color coded cobbled Bible
emanates with radiant hues
of yellow and osage
nonetheless, no mortal adept to predict
(only within plus and/or minus
some marginal variance of error).

oft times punishing atmospheric phenomena
incarcerated, pistol whipped
(if anther incorrect),
whiplash unleashed, oppressed, imposed
challenging condition testing ground
flora and fauna could thrive,
whereat most hardy
plants and animals didst abound
linkedin upon terra firmae
murmur of orchestrated
organisms devising fitting
evolutionary survival traits

plentiful glory vis a vis L'Chaim;
gnome hatter outlook required
sprinting thru uber vanguard,
where zero sum game pitted
disadvantaged Feng shui
living things poorly sparred mismatched
against itching attired egghead,
kickstarting netzero beastie boys
indeed emulating hotmail prodigies
holding greensward ground.

scrimmage fostered, elicited,
dictated, commandeered nature
going full throttle with pings
across biological labyrinth
positioning glommed, peeved,
mis tweeted seeds of life, and white lily,
within soil lent green grubby business
whereby herb and woody stemmed
recalcitrant proto flings
wrote toe rooter bakers

gave Gaia a run for her money
to buy Buffalo wings
chasing miscreants nimbly
outwitting, out-rigging
outsmarting nettlesome stings,
and sage protuberant fungi,
released messengers where rise home
spore ports left nada mushroom,
though symbiosis wood
bark a roll a cord.
curt hissy Matthew Scott Harris
who wishes ewe well
to make $cents of the following
mumbo jumbo lettered gumbo.

Hip puck crease see
(ad hoc) key hide dee claim
haint how my noggin
comports itself to take aim,
cuz ear lee aire two
yeast tar dies ague
this hue more us,
in fame muss wordsmith
cure rafting re: son hubble rhyme
doggone cur rafted twin tee ****
hound day hove March
(twenty second of)
tooth house sin twenty two,

(Lifer til death date woo eth death)
an hon nah - bell and clapper bloke
mostly silly key ping (faw) lame
fee bill word tangler,
rustler, mangler, a (name)
grossly misunderstood
acts ill rod gunmetal read rose,
but wean mice elf (in tha same
deep blue sea of
sigh bore space), and tame
ghost of Noah Web stir,
(the "Father of American 
Scholarship and Education").

Mine whole foods (bran)
whole *** graphic image gleefully 
danced like cranberries...
er Shuga plums
buff fore my ayes 
gent lee guy ding even odd lil old
me - disc hum bob yule hated thoughts.

He winked, blinked, and nod did 
'pon every hip proved high fen -
phen hated dub bill loon
colon out fe fie fo fum...

Thus sigh prose seeded 
to brac kit this hen
speckled, pecked, choppy 
ram bulling miss sieve.

Now Kenya boll weave me, i.e.
nope heart tickle to rhyme, 
nor rheas zen, 
hex planes this alien ak queue men?

Thus ice elf seal heck head 
(i.e. spoiler alert selected)
top pick dis gobbledygook de 'zure 
one long in the tooth 
in dent charred papa, who war 
rents, through his 
Engle hush patois rue brick 
mishmash heavy sack crow sank
fill low so fickle road dough mont aid
e'en when deep
into Davy Jones's Locker 

(as taut tummy
by ma gram marred paw, 
he called home and leaved all his life
in Southeastern pence hull Vanya), 
tutoring, this war reed 
red word smith (screeching) 
viva veneer real with no dis ease: 
a broadcast inter gnash shin null plea
from puissant amazing

dragon hill though me
heretofore jest playfully peppering 
this poetic prey lewd pray zing gibberish,
boot ice till dune hot
take for grant (yule hiss sees)
who hit high robe hurt eel lee
cogent, fluent, intelligent,
lambent, overt, reverent...
succinctness, thus strictly for sport
(maya tip pickle mowed

dis hopper end dee)
inure inca ling hued bait tour
ring ship for fools (who russian,
where angels dare toot red),
and back to feeble poetic effort
sum er re: all reed dears mite ache -
against hub bull telescoping confusion
your understandable hub
jake shun accepted.
where Lassie free to run across petco junction

All across the webbed
wide esse Scott's wold
emerald green Trifolium
carpets harbor untold
burrows of tiny Leprechauns clover
(leaf) ways grant trifold
wishes if captured might
divulge *** of gold
at rainbow's end, and e'en mend
yar shoes, whence re: souled,
thence tread softly beneath subthreshold

of audibility, cuz unseen universe
hapts tubby microscopically rolled
with subterranean inhabited by Lilliputian
mischievous beings (about bajillion holed
up could fill the Taj Mahal) even donned with

heavy coat protecting them
(usually men) against cold
yet frolic with reel delight jiggling
with inborn instinct exhibit twofold
talent to dance with modesty

downplaying (while fiddling)
analogous to some roof fiend
averse tubby extolled,
nonetheless, their popular
doth soar, and grievously scold
persistent myth anchored with toehold,

and thus do not indulge
pruriently with pixies considerably dulled,
since libido practically nonexistent told
me (under oath of
confidentiality), one Grunwald
trusted yours truly, the secrete
will not leak out,
nor spread like slime mold,
this descendant of Lemuel Gulliver.

Yours truly (an average
height and weight size ways)
nondescript grown
male munching kin
stands a little less than threefold
larger than full grown homunculi.

Rumor monger kickstarter
Matthew Scott Harris
posits nontrue tidbit
regarding rock 'n' roll star
who (name unmentioned)
became the most influential
musicians across the universe,
with estimated record sales
of around 600 million
as of two thousand seventeen.

Imp possible mission
to see non elfish (pressed) lee
160 years after his Irish ancestor
crossed the Atlantic.
curling his left lip
whereby convalescing, peep ping auld
timers cavorting wax nostalgic with
itty bitty whippersnappers,

averse to any outliers, whether hirsute or bald
an honest to goodness painstaking effort
initially stymied friendship proffered, a cold
reception eventually (while sharing diet of worms)
deep under verdantly
festooned knolls of Eire land.
to anonymous readers March 22nd, 2022
(blustery and chilly Tuesday)
reminiscing about mein kampf,
when precious irretrievable youth
frittered away within
emotional wilderness of mine.

Into lonely senescence -
more'n three plus decades
plus three extra orbitz
around mister sun already elapsed
trepidation, hesitation, abdication... unbearably
tugging, shouldering,
remonstrating accumulation
of "baggage" nothing
to thumb button nose at

think hitch hiker pose
of right hand ****** out
silently raving, quaking
cursing ultimatum parents
(soffit to fascia in)
saw fit to fashion
and hammer home

red hot poker rage
their singular male offspring
middle child of two sisters,
who long since vacated premises
when both young naifs
prior to attaining age of consent

deploring bing holed up
at 324 Level Road redoubt
(long since razed)
built as summer house
remote from fracas of urban bedlam
still one hundred years since Leipers
bon voyage into netherland

father and mother
imposed swiftly tailored
harried styled tough love
translated meant absolute zero value
toward offspring they begot,
and made quite clear loathing

heaped upon sundered fountainhead
good for nothing son of a...,
he whittled away precious time
reading avast among trove of material
crowdsourcing numerous bookshelves
mostly to impress intellectual visitors,

when in truth middle aged couple
thinly veiled country bumpkins,
donned with "FAKE" literacy
stereotypical "rednecks,"
inexplicably begot wunderkind
agog with inhaling literature

in tandem with liberal
magazines and newspapers
oft times whiled away countless hours
sunup to sundown
sequestered most remote nook
within local library (Evansburg)

few miles walk along country road
served as self taught schooling
since parochial educated regimen
habitually rapped knuckles
courtesy whiplike hickory stick
if pupil evinced slightest

distraction, whence schoolmaster
detected lack of attention
as crotchety curmudgeon
blankly droned monotonously
dull jabbering subjected
stone faced classmates

into instant soporific state
futilely struggling to keep eyelids
slamming shut tight
including yours truly,
who when suddenly awake
realized quite a vivid dream!

PostScript: I slightly
refashioned, repurposed and revised
above crafted semi fictitious poem
(written scant years ago)
cuz poignant pathos
to plod along boulevard
of broken dreams still persists into present.
Mar 2022 · 116
Untitled
Implementing chops to acquire self survival

speculative fictional account
courtesy yours truly interpretation
impossible mission to surmount
tooling topographic factors,
solving quadratic equations,
rubik's cube generally tantamount.

Perchance yar juiced
a young man or woman
Aladdin on cusp of securing lass
maybe born, bread and raised
in the city that never sleeps
and as loyal returning native son
or daughter taking a tram
to enjoy tasty repast
with widowed momma,
cuz ever since da papa passed away....
a futile attempt made to fill that void

awash with more'n than half a century
of wedded bliss,
whereat purposelessness pervasive
regarding surviving mother,
who feigns happiness, regales others
with showers of affection,
and remains active feeding kith and kin
her chosen avocation
comprising, striving and succeeding
to be adept within the culinary arts

thru self taught trials and errors
of brave taste testers,
(which unwitting guinea pigs ought
to get medal of honor for bravery),
though her exemplary cooking reputation
exceeds five star Michelin rating
through meticulous and
exacting measured ingredients,
she glides within the kitchen
howsoever upon one occasion,

a fork and spoon slipped to the floor,
which inexplicable gravitational
alchemical phenomena
fused separate pieces of cutlery
into finely wrought eating implement
whereupon a dead reckoning,
takes shape, that "mum"
might be in mortal danger
from inconspicuous cooking tool,
whence ya stop SnapChat tin

and shutterfly as greased BuzzFeed
lding lightning twittering
like a bat out of hell -
ya swoop down
smash mouth Facebook first
presaging a fatality visiting
upon the head of mum
(christened name Chris Anne Thumb,
the last appended word linked
with her diminutive size),

who intently engrossed,
keenly self absorbed,
and rapt attentive with tasks at hand
most likely oblivious
to potential safety dukes of hazzard
as a benevolent offspring temporarily
ye take instagram reprieve,
and utilize fancy footwork
(incorporating song with dance routine)
generating kickstarter tiktok fame

yanking attention and
re: turning to counterpoise
vis a vis match less laws of physics,
whereby toe tulle lee tubular
jump starter antics applied
to kindle hurly burly
gnarly melded flatware
serving sub bastion bach up
(analogous to state of the art beet oven),
which upright pedal poised pose
quirky tool allows, provides
and enables pulley zing leverage.
Triggered to skyhigh elevated state
when I received communiqué
courtesy management warden
christened and otherwise
known as Jackie Geiger
dated March 9, 2022.

She averred fruit fly infestation
constituted lease violation,
which could spell eviction
since said issue involving
Drosophila melanogaster
necessitated costly
exterminator intervention
subsequently delivered resultant
severe savage psychological strafing

regular panic attacks (analogous
to EF5 tornadoes
the highest category
on Enhanced Fujita Scale)
unleashed with punishing
alimentary canal winds
i.e. lower gastrointestinal expulsions,
which prescription medication
ineffective to subdue.

Suddenly relatively short lived respite
abruptly ended moderate freedom
feeling diabolically tortured
returned with a vengeance
measuring reprieve in months
and years removed
when body electric
felt tortured reverberated, and quaked
with repercussions...tattooing, piercing,
ensnaring... drubbing drum beat indelibly

'pon psyche NON MEMORABLE years
gone bye felled psyche with incorporation,
viz alphabet facebook, poetrysoup of
physiological symptoms i.e. clammy
palms, heart palpitation, irritable bowel
syndrome, nausea, vertigo,
et cetera (aside
from above, I felt great)
erupted bitta bing,
bitta band tore rent cleaving, coping and

crimping Master scribe
harnesses words as
Zeus employs thunder
forcefully endearing themselves like Dasher,
Dancer, Prancer, *****, Comet, Cupid,
Donner and Blitzen) hopscotching
(hither and yon,
to and fro) from one
University to another
well nigh, particularly
when paying a visit
to college cafeterias,
(an unpleasant effect

explaining abrupt termination
umpteen post
high school institutions,
I matriculated), especially
when hungry hordes
(like angry twittering birds,
long fostered century21
apes, or madding crowds
of students rushing
to lunch line for their seconds

analogous to swelling sea of
crusaders of yore - practically
stampeding their way
clamoring to be fed sustenance
or spiritual succor respectively,
but no sooner did this then
rather bony gluteus maximus
became situated at table
(often whereby quick
exit could be made

in predictable panic stricken
outcome pierced and
hammered me with gut
wrenching mental agony),
the medley of organic
constriction of throat
re: named asphyxiation,
furiously pounding
ma poor heart, churning
out hormonal adrenaline.
at 11:33 AM in Northern Hemisphere
though meteorological conditions, I swear
in summer re: temperatures already mild
enough to go outside in your underwear
unless an ordinance would find you
in the clinker for at least a year.

No burlesque across the globe
upstages mother nature's emergent style
soundlessly donning and trumpeting
resplendent metaphorical pregnant Gaia,
whose all encompassing bulging robe
magnificently, albeit modestly evinces
matronly dame parading and sauntering,
she intimates readiness to give birth
regarding multitudinous flora and fauna,
whereby swath groundswell of color
and panoply of sound bursts forth.
…☆(”)(”)☆…☆(”)(”)☆…☆(”)_(”)☆
A symphony with terrestrial
ecological community,
which life forms abound
via natural laboratory qua nature,
especially at seasonal dawn of spring tide,
where multifarious existence can be found
carving out a figurative zoological niche
in a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds galore
idyllic melodic musical sound
artist palette of rainbow blended sights
assuage auditory and
visual sense pleasures respectively.

No gofundme donation required-
unless ye clamor to proffer expense
toward fame and fortune
concerning one garden variety
long haired pencil necked geek
to regale sensational experience,
but before further lines get read
please be mindful
to take lock, stock, and barrel
of mine existential sponsor,
thus a brief plugged statement to
ɢɛȶ ʟɨʄɛʟօƈӄ ɨɖɛռȶɨȶʏ ȶɦɛʄȶ քʀ0ȶɛƈȶɨ0ռ
ʄ0ʀ ʟɛֆֆ.

Now back to regularly scheduled program
trying to entrance ye dear reader
incorporating titanic and tectonic processes,
(albeit all natural wonders)
constituting eight ways
to build strong bodies
bred courtesy punctuated equilibrium
nudging advantages to outvie
one living thing
versus another organism.

Winter of our (collective) discontent
alleviated courtesy pagan earth goddesses
prestidigitation delivering cathartic holistic
and poetic botanical balms,
which salve (age long in the tooth)
psychological wounds.

Show stopping stunning performance
stills lovers embrace
long anticipating nonpareil experience,
nevertheless straining credulity
of visual and aural senses,
where collective awed pinterests
silences onlookers evoking
masterpiece rendered still life
among webbed plant and animal species.
A scenario unfolds
more abominable among
any previous warring factions,
his wicked weltanschauung
charred effigies futilely hung
against regime of brutality
considerably more unbearable
than infestation of fruit flies brung
about courtesy evil monster sprung
shortchanging restless and young.

Seconds to spare before
Doomsday clock strikes
twelve o'clock midnight
every man, woman and child
will need fend for themselves,
whereby prophetic apocalypse
(sponsored courtesy smug faced Putin -
man of lamb munch cha cha cha
self anointed how zen tyrant by proxy)
unleashing total mortal Kombat,
when the human race
reduced (née pulverized)
to nothing more intelligent
than nippy nap noopy,
glippy glop gloopy,
cheesy bonafide August dust
thermonuclear dystopian landscape
subjected to global nuclear winter.

Time measured in nanoseconds
1⁄1,000,000,000 of a second,
or 10⁻⁹ seconds. The term
combines the prefix nano-
with basic unit for one-sixtieth
of a minute. A nanosecond
equals 1000 picoseconds
or 1⁄1000 microsecond.

Yours truly will put his head
but tween these
skinny spindle shank legs
and kiss thine braying a$$
(donkey *** tee) good-bye
asper ma person,
thine gluteus maximus
during my roaring twenties
a boot the size of a hand held
palm pilot cell phone,

hence nada worth ache cry
though ah share
a preference not hood die
yet if push (shin
the atomic bombardier button)
combs **** hove Eli
zha would be nowhere in sight,
thence salvation might be sought
from a common
(sad dulled) horse fly
to bring deliverance

(due ling ban joe plucked solo)
to this generic goofy guy
who reckons, cuz
there will be no time to converse
‘cept as mentioned earlier me high
knee will be the sole recipient, I
one beetle browed capital one
**** earnestly frank gremlin hominid

will spout hot air
and confuse the burst
of flatulence from ma bare
swaying bell bottom as an echo –
loud and clear
that used to be mode of hen dear
mint ‘tween muss elf and spouse –
wherever she may be ‘ere
a presumption, she met her demise
amidst radiation with fear

and loathing uncertain who
to vent her angry glare
understandable to pay price
for the folly of heir
wannabe of history Don Trump –
perchance he too got vaporized
as crackling Geiger counter intimates
forecasts deadly snowfall icier
i.e. Mother nature adorned
***** flakes fluttering among
the global debacle – where jeer
ring grim reaper will be feted

as like at a fancy feast with choicest bit
of human remains of the doomsday,
and immune to perilous nuclear fit
loosed upon the terra firmae,
where most every
metropolitan center ground zero
but with heavy-duty weapons
of mass destruction,
one need not make a direct hit
cuz the deadly fallout
will make the entire globe
tuff Hester and become liquefied
bubbling as one large snake pit,
thus no more poetry competitions

– **** –
yet writing aye will not quit,
but upon fallout material
I will eke out underground subsistence
existence, and scratch out
whatever thoughts seem worthwhile
*** ping an alien will discover
visa vis bunched inside
an iron made in USA bunker
and held tightly sealed
qua many a makeshift rivet.
Ah Sheik Hog - **!
One "FAKE" Wingman
think Monty Python's
Flying Circus skittering
on thin ice - Skidamarink
a ****, a ****...

hither and yon, to and fro
Via O'hare To Dublin y'know
Cuz, The Leprechaun within
me, no spring chicken bro,
nevertheless oz offer friendship in toto
good day to thee with cheerful adieu.

Though nowhere to be found despite search team
loudly trumpeting thru depleting fresh air
supply terrestrially polluted atmosphere,
asper the unknown whereabouts, regarding
said royally titled quasi legally inherited bare

naked lady loving ******* oven heated affair
son last seen donning Herringbone Wool headwear
supplemented by Irish merrino wool sweater
and custom made Hemp (smoking hot) pants
informing observer with seedy, faux debonair,

and pseudo (reed "FAKE") suave cultured couture
clothing automatically camouflaging to disappear
without a trace, thee alluded to rival to the throne
(Irish to keep ye in the dark) like chocolate eclair
secret recipe (one takes to the grave), unless held

at gunpoint by bonafide Machiavellian consigliere
ruthless if necessary forcing captive to declare
high fidelity, indemnity, loyalty, et cetera to a
life of lawlessness adopting anonymous incognito
guise accepting bewig noggin with long knotty hair

tattoo skin with "FAKE" scars to accentuate fear
factor accepting (cryptic blood bonded) brotherhood till
death do you part loot, pillage, vandalize, et cetera
in a blitzkrieg effort (albeit violently) to repair
evenly distribute disparity between 1% and 99%

grassroots uprising (peopled with migrants) spear
writ ting their exploitation at the (Taj Mahal) bear
sized paws swiping at susceptibility, vulnerability,
inequality, et cetera series of unfortunate events
decreed, instilled, ordained clamped like ironware

shackling one generation after another, an outright
outdated, on par as anachronism, feudalism, stoicism
where stark difference between rich and poor unfair,
especially, *** the latter labor sweat of their brow,
which backbreaking toil essentially endows wealthy
at expense of grunt work signalling ominous nightmare.
Ides simply referred to first new moon,
which usually fell between
the thirteenth and fifteenth day
of a given month.

Smithsonian Magazine history buff
Tom A. Frail
posted March 4, 2010 issue
url = https://www.smithsonianmag.com/
history/top-ten-reasons-to-beware-
the-ides-of-march-8664107/
top ten reasons to
beware the ides of march.

The following events all occurred
fifteenth of March
across span of millenniums.

One: Assassination of fifty five year old
Julius Caesar, 44 Before Common Era
Two thousand and sixty six years ago
conspirators led by Marcus Junius Brutus
stab dictator-for-life Julius Caesar
to death before the Roman senate.

Two: A Raid on Southern England,
1360 Anno Domini.
A French raiding party begins
a 48-hour spree of ****, pillage and ******
in southern England.

King Edward III interrupts
his own pillaging spree in France
to launch reprisals,
writes historian Barbara Tuchman,
“on discovering that the French
could act as viciously in his realm
as the English did in France.”

Three: Samoan Cyclone, 1889
A cyclone wrecks six warships—
three U.S., three German—
in the harbor at Apia, Samoa,
leaving more than 200 sailors dead.

(On the other hand,
the ships represented
each nation’s show of force
in a competition to see
who would annex Samoan islands;
the disaster averted a likely war.)

Four: Czar Nicholas II
abdicates his throne, 1917
Czar Nicholas II of Russia
signs his abdication papers,
ending a 304-year-old royal dynasty
and ushering in Bolshevik rule.

He and his family taken captive
and, in July 1918, executed
before a firing squad.

Five: Germany Occupies Czechoslovakia, 1939
Just six months after
Czechoslovak leaders ceded Sudetenland,
**** troops seize provinces
of Bohemia and Moravia,
effectively wiping Czechoslovakia
off the map.

Six: A Deadly Blizzard
on the Great Plains, 1941
A Saturday-night blizzard
strikes northern Great Plains,
leaving at least 60 people dead
in North Dakota and Minnesota
and six more
in Manitoba and Saskatchewan.

A light evening snow
did not deter people from going out—
“after all, Saturday night
meant time for socializing,”
Diane Boit of Hendrum, Minnesota,
would recall—but “suddenly
the wind switched,
and a rumbling sound
could be heard as
60 mile-an-hour winds
swept down out of the north.”

Seven: World Record Rainfall, 1952
Rain falls on Indian Ocean island
of La Réunion—and keeps falling,
hard enough to register world’s
most voluminous 24-hour rainfall: 73.62 inches.

Eight: CBS Cancels
the “Ed Sullivan Show,” 1971
Word leaks that CBS-TV  
cancelled “The Ed Sullivan Show”
after 23 years on the network,
which also dumped Red Skelton
and Jackie Gleason
in the preceding month.

A generation mourns.

Nine: Disappearing Ozone Layer, 1988
NASA reports the ozone layer
over Northern Hemisphere  
depleted three times faster than predicted.

Ten: A New Global Health Scare, 2003
After accumulating reports
of a mysterious respiratory disease
afflicting patients and healthcare workers
in China, Vietnam, Hong Kong,
Singapore and Canada,
the World Health Organization
issues a heightened global health alert.

The disease became famous
under the acronym SARS
(for Sudden Acute Respiratory Syndrome).

elemental forces of style at large
which indiscriminate merciless whims extant
ask Homer Simpson or Marge
g'head and even tap
a local, county, or state Sarge

gent on the shoulder, cuz
he or she would moost likely agree
that this Month predicated
on The Gregorian calendar me
didst axe Mister Google,
(who **** courtesy enough prithee)
to validate premise about
when Time Construct came a boot re:

(named after Pope Gregory XIII, who
introduced it in October fifteen eighty two)
from that date to present,
the most widely ant queue
test used civil calendar,
and when brand new
(involved approximately
0.002% correction knew
this margin of error in length
of Julian calendar year) allowing hue

man accurate measurement passage
as days, weeks, months...elapsed
unimportant to the average Joe,
(not quite five hundred years ago)
returning home on his emu
no matter the gender named Matthew

cuz this flightless fast-running bird dinned,
poe whit lorry yet (wannabe)
nose tubby directed related door sill finned
dog gone harassed primate hoo haint sinned
graced with surname Harris,
and gladly boasts being full of wind

which trivia finds this barred bard
(as iz his usual wont
i.e. digress sing
from primary col lord thread)

from initial intent, vis a vis,
how all life forms stretching
within the bounds of quisling
to an affable, convivial, and filial King
Crimson (reddit in the face),
yet knew everything like kin ace
that comprised tome base
comprise zing knowledge
booking (to chase
winter blues) at getaway
gracefully at Bedrock Cave
with proprietors of said place
Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone
offered ample space
to discuss preparations to cope
with onset of infrequent roaring blizzard
(via ominous clouds that didst trace)

plus minimizing setbacks affecting
the then most advanced stone age
during wrathful outbursts from beige
flesh toned gabbing Goddess,
whose gentle giantess goodness,
one could gauge
which genteel manners evident
also asper her page
gave inside information,
how to batten down hatches
while tethered like a puppet
on the then much younger global stage.
Mar 2022 · 127
Choices Of Past Forebears
Random chain of events
preceded occurrence re:
guarding existence of me
interminable fits and starts
concerning self destruction
inherent within one measly
self important species.

Yours truly synonymous
with any chance reader
(of course inclusive those
untold past multitudes,
who trod upon this oblate
spheroid preceding one

anonymous groveling,
middling sniveling modest
**** sapien) pursuant
upon unknown destination
giving contemplative,
introspective, speculative...

pause every now and again,
asper bajillion prior
bipedal hominids, whose
individual deliberate or
random natural biological
impulses wrought sons

and/or daughters, whose
subsequent call, sans their
wild procreative proclivities
unwittingly begat the
unique chromosomal
combinations inscribed genes

imbuing each of us with
transient occupancy to revel,
relish, reckon very finite
number of orbitz around
nearest star, how longevity
(till mortality – leisurely

and/or vocationally)
expended, yet anatomically,
biochemically, physiologically...
linkedin with avast
gamut incorporating
unknowable determinants sole

fully cobbling wide, whirled
webbing, (albeit skein
microscopic) comprising
resultant Deoxyribonucleic
amalgamations, combinations,
emulations...throughout

untold generations eventually
giving (swell pregnant)
rise to healthy progeny
predicated on an uneventful
tragic mishap in utero
preceding parturition, which

miraculous seminal fertilization
regarding series of
fortunate events delineating
quintessentially strapping
robust tot destined (years later)
to continue human

species, thus I ponder
tremendous steep odds (analogous
to drawing winning lottery
ticket), when reproductive
processes diploid propagating
one after another ongoing

generation, yet in retrospect
every cellular T-Mobile
chance coupling attendant on
haphazard spontaneous

buzzfeeding circumstances
promulgating prolific primal
precedents begetting each
individual necessitating tenuous

fluke (worm hungers) engaging,
engendering, engineering...
(similar to science experiment)
endowing penultimate on the fly

fusion between two haploid cells
impossible to explain convincingly,
(asper in my mind) the notion
predestination intervenes
likened to invisible hand.
I looked outside the bedroom window
here at B44 Highland Manor Apartments
today March 13th, 2022 low and behold
took stock of soundless grounded sideshow.

Barenaked lady, i.e. mother earth
partially sloughed off
excess weight around her girth
her downy soft negligee.

Where once ground
enshrouded in lily white
courtesy albedo effect nature
evinced twilight
no matter the
post meridiem o'clock hour quite
re: many hours after dusk
dark shadows absent
impossible mission
to differentiate edge of night

from closing day as told
once a pawn time knight
hence courtesy mine
following reasonable rhyme
syncopated metered poetic
feet tracks highlight
unblanketted silent burlesque
risqué burlesque doth excite
eventually uncovers budding
flora rooted birthright.

Though first of April
will be here eighteen tomorrows,
nevertheless old man winter
can still pack a judicious
punch without feeling regret or sorrow.

Without doubt, yours truly
eagerly awaits the Spring
equinox - 11:33 Ante Meridian
Eastern Standard Time
on Saturday, March 20
when warm temperatures
(fahrenheit thermometer)
allow, enable, and provide
ideal opportunity to bring
these lovely bones outside

soon enough sparking me
to perspire, whereby beads
of sweat on skin will cling
taking lock, stock, and barrel
envying birds and bees
enjoying (gathering nectar
from rosebuds) pollinating
while lads and lasses
engage in flowering fling.

Soon enough hazy,
hot humid dog days of summer
will usher thunderstorms - after
bolts of jagged lightning
because light travels
much faster than sound waves
humbling one garden variety
beetle browed being
awed by fantastic, electric,
dynamic, copacetic... atmospheric
phenomenon - ofttimes
wreaking havoc tossing
large objects as if trappings
of civilization a mere plaything

meanwhile scaring the bejesus
and living daylights
out of mortal creatures
scrambling for safety during
tempestuous meteorological event,
I would not miss (for the world)
witnessing explosive ear splitting,
Earth shaking deafening noise
reigning down on measly
basket of deplorables trumpeting
supremacy over feeble attempts
**** sapiens exert
upon terrestrial firmament.

Though the might of man
puny compared/contrasted
with tremendous potential
pent of energy released courtesy
planetary tectonic,
meteorologic, and atmospheric
dynamic processes,
one terroristic oaf clamors
to wrest powers latent
within the gods, yet must be
stopped dead in his tracks
lest democracy and every
form of government obliterated.
March twelfth Ded Moroz
struts his white stuff
first real substantial puncheon
found Jack Frost in his glory,
he haint no longer morose nor gruff,
cuz series of fortunate meteorological events
found crystalline precipitation hoary.

I revel watching
the bit torrent of snowflakes alight
upon the greensward;
a cold wind bloweth and doth bite
any exposed flesh of daredevil
(the re:noun Evel Knievel of verbiage)
weather beaten soul
trundling with delight
inured to brutal cold
all fours seasons excite
contemplative character
asked me to ghostwrite,
thus a reasonable rhyme yielded
courtesy wuthering height.

Yours truly breathes deep sigh of relief,
when surprise blizzard came our way,
no matter yours truly solitary fellow
holed up in me mancave yay,
he experiences unfettered glee
for picturesque blustery scene today
eight sleeps before Spring Equinox
glad second rate nor'easter
pummeled Southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania.

The near future forecast
bodes well nigh arrival of vernal equinox
when the sun crosses celestial equator
in northerly direction, marking
prime meridian of right ascension.

Fanfare for common man
(think das scribe spinning these lines)
grateful timely notion
kindled inside mine noggin
truth be told - before onset of storm,
I drew one blank after another
and felt at my wits end
regard apropos material to write about.

Methought to soon to post
poem about beware the ides of March,
(approximately sixty one
and a half hours hence,
similar explanation regarding
summoning creative literary endeavor
honoring Lá Fhéile Pádraig sona duit,
thus imposed upon figurative shoulders
(mine) to hash out some
marginally passable verse.

Now attention pauses to take look see
out bedroom window
watching medley of gusty air
in sync with blizzard conditions,
yet yours truly snug
as a bug in a rug
despite not turning on the heat,
and would ye believe
bard of Perkiomen Valley
only donned in ma birthday suit?
A long time graduate courtesy
Hard Knocks alum,
once again yours truly
posts reasonable rhyme
about shortest day of the year.

Two o'clock Ante Meridiem
nostri Jesu Christi
hour hand clock
sprung forward sixty minutes
round about same of month
every year, what a ***
er, an inconvenient truth
diverged from this chum
purposelessly manipulating a hold over
sans yesteryear doth drum

a sensation of jet lag
(with earth in the balance)
as if flying within time machine
at warp speed from
this station, where bumpy ride
invariably finds me
feeling a bit ticked off and glum
and in no mood to rhyme,
nor be leer re: cull
juiced barely tantamount
to gather scattered wits
sin tide, and express mood as *** hum

fortunate, this chronological
seismic shift nada wide, ah assume
nonetheless, mein kampf
cerebral hemispheric plate tectonics
comb pluck hated off jangling
black keys helplessly boom

fancifully drifting and boring
into quick ribald sand trap doom
ming an inducement for
emergency convoy, when pitched from
sea to figurative shining sea –
gram ma mother earth glum,
where live yik yak
(paddy whacked) wired vanguard

trulia tried optimism to hum
nonetheless, swallowed down
cream mated behavioral sink
her inert ashes boxed for mo urn eternity
like talcum powder went – me mum
bling bloviation, once
worth matchless peerage,
now pitched comfortably numb

lee into morass of temporary
confusion, where plumb
line delineating circadian rhythm offset,
when athwart pilot ***
man strait ting and bickering with
Gulliver's swiftly traveling
Lilliputians slum
bring within islets
of langerhans defiantly thumb

ming nose, where body, mind & soul
vampire weeknd viz a bully did cower
hence mister clock, who got
hijacked 3600 seconds per hour
experienced head, thorax and abdomen
diminishing in min (ute) power

wrought indistinguishable
Whitsuntide as sour
grapes imposing ill fitting sea legs,
which folded like a faulty tower
crumbling skeletal carapace,
resoundingly grudgingly surrendered,
and back slid vis a vis American express
hiz fashionably late opinion
regarding space/time
continuum did devour

hypothetically yours truly
wallows, pinwheels, flails...
doubling over into singularity
attaining infinite mass
enroute to encounter blessed cosmic lord.

Black hole event horizon indeed
kept lock step as das joint mill hoard
sucker punched the REO bandwagon
of father time, whose riffs a silent chord
nsync with atomic fractional second bored
quirky shenanigans toying with chronometers
counter point of view shifted
to oppose this minute accord.
Accursed human species
case in point Vladimir Putin,
who strikes terror across globe.

Don't underestimate his hell bent
zeal to attack United States,
one blood ******* infernal
predacious **** sapien
mercilessly bullies, interrogates,
threatens... with zeal.

Considerably less mortifying
constitutes wrathful ordeals
exhibited by adults who treat
thine wife with indecorous jibes
like punks who sat back of bus
or classmates at Methacton
High School, mine alma mater.

No different than typical mean kids
many crotchety residents here
Highland Manor Apartments
majority residents aggrieve the missus
though said counterpart (thee spouse)
exudes standoffish poise
countenance dons and
nonverbally trumpets scowl
body language broadcasts
social graces be ******
easily interpreted as snub

engendering hostile imprecations
cruelly fiendish provocations
undermine capacity to experience
peace of mind
exacerbated by her
figurative cold shoulder
propensity to flip the bird
notched, ratcheted, torqued... tension
courtesy miss prissy heiress,
daughter, she secured management role
albeit (hats off) to nepotism

guarantees lifelong job security
issued thee missus warning
rental stipulation disallows
overt ******* flashing signal
emotional entanglement ensued
yours truly tasked
to pursue more favorable environment,
yet scant finances (mine)
and poor credit
two strikes against
locating affordable living situation

since sole family income
social security disability
direct deposited monthly
buzzfeeding checking account
regularly near anorexic,
cuz additionally I pay
costs of living expenses
cole king avoiding being homeless,
thus this penniless
among dime a dozen
day late dollar short

low income bracketed
(marching with madness)
mister casts quandary
couched as poetry,
no great expectations,
nonetheless cathartic to communicate
(hoop fully understandable)
present tense plight
projected as plotted trend
fat and/or slim chance
fate will curse me as lottery winner
pipe dream teasing
this word plumber flush with ire,

who feels nsync and drained
scraping hand to mouth
bemoaning apathy, dismal
effort, gross indifference
toward self sums (mein kampf)
plus academic struggles
proffers grim forecast
as coxswain at mercy
rudderless ship of state
edges closer to his waterloo.
Once again, yours truly
dishes out his regular dose
of literary gobbledygook
even Count Dracula
would not even bat an eye
nor give me his evil curse,
butta I avoid tempting him
courtesy fanged hook or crook
(albeit harmless) look
regarding feeble effort I undertook.

Don't forget hour hands
of clocks spring forward
sixty minutes 2:00 AM
in Pennsylvania and other states
bracketed within eastern
Eastern Standard Time
on Sunday March thirteenth!

Yes roundabout third eye blind -
doggone (con seeded)
melon collie month every year,
one garden variety ***
(inconvenienced truthfully)
precariously balanced
while tethered to Earth hoop fully
explains himself, hence following mishmash
divulged courtesy unnamed generic chum
purposelessly manipulating
space/time continuum hold over.

About 107 three hundred sixty five day  
increments elapsed since
United States adopted
Standard Time Act of March 19, 1918
confirmed existing
standard time zone system
and set summer DST
to begin on March 31, 1918
(reverting October 27).

Rat a tat tat doth lightly drum
upon mine sixty plus shades of gray matter
i.e., a sensation of jet lag
(with earthling out of balance -
an inconvenient truth)
as if aboard Herbert George Wells,
time machine – and trapped
within The War of the Worlds
impossible mission to escape
at warp speed from
this horrid station, where bumpy ride
invariably finds me
feeling ticked off and glum
in no mood to craft reasonable rhyme,

nor be leer re: cull (lyrical)
juiced barely tantamount
to gather scattered wits
sin tide, and express mood
as picky hewn *** hum
fortunate rising son, this chronological
seismic shift nada wide, ah assume
nonetheless, mein kampf
cerebral hemispheric plate tectonics

comb pluck hated off jangling
black keys helplessly boom
fancifully drifting and boring
into quick ribald sand trap doom
ming an inducement
for emergency convoy,
when pitched to and fro
hither and yon from
sea to figurative shining sea.

Graham ma mother earth glum
where live yik yak wired vanguard
trulia tried optimism to hum
nonetheless, swallowed down
reprising Tom Wolfe
("O Rotten Gotham — Sliding Down
into the Behavioral Sink")
her cremated inert ashes boxed
for more'n eternity
like talcum powder went – me mum

bling bloviation, once worth
matchless peerage, now pitched numb
lee into morass
of temporary confusion, where plumb
line delineating circadian rhythm offset,
when athwart pilot ***
man strait ting and bickering
with Lilliputians slum
bring within islets of langerhans

defiantly thumb nose,
where body, mind and soul
weeknd strength (viz a bully did cower)
hence mister clock,
who got hijacked
3600 seconds per hour
experienced head, thorax and abdomen
diminishing in power

wrought indistinguishable
Whitsuntide as sour
grapes imposing ill fitting sea legs,
which folded like a faulty tower
crumbling skeletal carapace,
resoundingly surrendered,
and back slid vis a vis
space/time continuum did devour.

Black hole (sun) event horizon indeed
kept lock step as das joint mill hoard
sucker punched the band
(re: oh speed) wagon of father time,
who riffs a silent chord
nsync with atomic energizer bunny
fractional second bored
quirky shenanigans
toying with chronometers
counter point of view shifted
to oppose this minute accord.
Went off for hair raising shindig
donning noggin of villager in Nigg
(historic county of Ross-shire,
historic region of Ross
and Cromarty, northeast
coast of Scotland).

Somehow postiche crossed the big pond
once belonged to magician,
who could create static electricity waving wand
across artificial tresses colored blond,
which wizard in disguise did abscond
with priceless peruke
(archaic word for periwig)
cuz said luxurious locks
once belonged to Dolly Parton.

Though I embellished
and expounded from original
poem still probably not very clear,
nevertheless toil onward if ye dare.

Upon occasion the missus
doth plop squat foursquare
on her plump derriere
brandishes scissors to keep hair
closely cropped to her scalp.

Once upon a time,
not very long ago somewhere
over the rainbow
within the Milky Way Galaxy,
she managed plying
chutzpah, guts and moxie to scare
connive, finagle, inveigle,
et cetera, an unused wig another
tenant at Highland
Manor Apartments here

(Compact, low slung,
and well maintained
dwellings by big booted (size 14)
previous onsite natural marvel
property manager Kevin Bair
him with shiny pate,
the former onsite jack (jilted)
of all trades handyman balladeer
crooning of Jen Tra Fide

units made like new
for those in despair
low cost affordable renting facilities
though not by a near
and/or far cry ritzy as
luxury places named Bel Air,
but energy efficient air
tight, quieter than a cemetary).

Anyway, zee spouse I dare
say casts a shadow clear
the size of Rhode Island,
and chanced to acquire
ratty noggin head gear,
she did need toupee joost a dime,
and quickly realized shear
hideousness, sans "FAKE" hirsute

wig required ample
tender loving care,
thus she betook
what closely resembled
skinned hide of a distant forebear,
(or perhaps def leppard)
to Liberty thrift store,
but encountered manic tear

roar, when enroute,
to said rectilinear
structure, out car window flew wig
landing inaccessible risking life or limb
mighty size wife easily deflected career
ring vehicles (imagine
mini measle lee Andre the Giant)
despite drivers abruptly halting to stare

as pint size super woman
gingerly didst ensnare
tire worn and tread full sorry excuse
for those claiming going bald unfair
even if renaming opposite
of being hirsute male/female
pattern receding hairline
all the way back to nape of neck.

Interesting how odd
distribution of atavistic fur
witnesses enough coily kinks
donning nether regions of body
flowing to ground within a year.
Founded by Tom and Ruth Roy
solely to acknowledge hardship
of A. R. Harris
and her husband M.S. Harris,
who cope poorly
(even courtesy medication)
with anxiety attacks, especially when
violated, probed, interrogated courtesy
Highland Manor inquisition,
which traumatizing event happened
on aforementioned date
included with poem title.

J. G. and P. F.
constitute management team
under jurisdiction of Quoss
(pronounced chhath tt)  and Grade,
who espouse principle laissez faire
but whose exhibited heavy handedness
pertaining to the married couple
named in the third line of this poem.

Either one or the other gals
who attend these premises
here at the Schwenksville location
(I won't mention
the state as ****** solitude)
alluded to a peculiarly nasty odor
emanating from unit B44,
our man/woman cave.

We received a twenty four hour deadline
to get into shipshape the disarray
messiness even Pigpen
would find abominable,
yet upon receiving both
oral and written admonition,
me and the missus

buckled down and kickstarted
frenzied whirlwind one bedroom
apartment cleaning spree
zoned out like zombies of Sugar Hill
when the clock struck bewitching hour,
more specifically that alluded time
synonymous with midnight.

No matter we felt dead tired
whereat neither option
to acquire additional time,
nor desist existed,
and yet nearly impossible mission
to continue, but appealing
to temptation of sandman
out of the question.

Deep sleep for the weary
appeared oh so heavenly,
on par with plate
of powder milk biscuits,
our mandate (analogous to pilgrims
adults and children
forced to fight in crusades)

forbid cessation, thus to plod
and plow onward
despite overwhelming urge to plotz,
(not the slang definition)
found yours truly
blissfully in dreamland
when me noggin hit the pillow,

Not for a minute
could yours truly
sit down and take a breather,
despite severe lower
(rightside) back pain.

Said dull throbbing ache
diagnosed as tight muscles
by Doctor (physical therapist)
John R. Mishock,
he would not countenance
(approve, comply, honor...)
I popped one Ibuprofen.
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