alternately titled give one targeted scapegoat a break,
an unquenchable thirst for moolah before I wake
from nightmare of computer hackers.

I tread upon the oblate spheroid
along the edge of night glistening
like a blade runner wielding a knife.

Dark shadows hoover
from the outer limits of the twilight zone
illuminating one bisel mashugana naked ape
alienated and lost in space.

An invisible umbilical cord
tethers yours truly to planet earth,
whereat sorry excuse for a human
symbiotically uber twittering
exhibiting more information about me
than you dear reader wanted to know,
a nameless anonymous poet
pantomiming living social
linkedin to webbed wide world
a fool on the hill
analogous to buzzfeeding
as a prairie home companion wannabe
and poet of Perkiomen Valley,
who writes free verse
frequently bordering
(while housed in a noble barn)
glommed on the side of melancholy.

Now I take nine prescription medications
to keep in check anxiety, dysthymia,
obsessive/compulsive disorder,
and palmar hyperhidrosis
(excessive sweating of palms)
where baseline difficulty coping
with ordinary life demands
such as joining the woke
work a day world in general
signaling to those who begat me
to marvel at ingenuity of their sole son
evincing capability
to reap what he did sow
regarding maintaining
impressive curriculum vitae
versus his poor track record
peppered with barely
passing lousy grades
and reflecting deliberate intention to fail
aborting native potential
to succeed with flying colors
wishing scores of decades later
to retry and live vicariously
thru elements of style
exhibited by "star student"
the first born daughter
between himself and wife.

The married status of mine
one once upon a time mattress
(early in our
pre-marital months long honeymoon phase)
connubial bliss now fraught
with emotional and financial hardship,
and yours truly (me)
still afflicted with monetary woes
exacerbated courtesy
electronic highwayman/woman,
who virtually robbed and pillaged
my checking and savings accounts
(by hook and crook incorporating Zelle),
thus spurring a short spiel fostering
a Caucasian, sexgenarian,
and Unitarian Democrat
to please supplement
very meager cashed out resources of mine,
whose modus operandi to supplicate
with cents and sensibility,
and pride without prejudice
indicative of my modest demeanor.

originally written May 31st, 202_
humorously, posthumously,
and tempestuously expressing woes
from the top of my talking head
to gnarly nails of
(this little piggy fame) toes
in sore need and want
of a podiatrist I suppose,
which keratin structures
at the end of plates
of meaty ten digits
topping off little feet
dextrous enough to type poetry and prose
and play violin highs and lows,
but only the shadow knows
that one among
common prickly Joe's
alternately titled re: double entendre
the red, white and blue
diminutive soldier (when
squeezed like a toy gun
cocked and primed
to fire off load)
then gets flaccid like a slimy hose
does double duty
in tandem with magic wand,
lifelike snaky entity
that actually grows
particularly necessary when
burst of fiery secretion flows
intense spray powerful enough
to pulverize knees and elbows
subsequently witnessing
yours truly to doze
an ideal time to take
a naked lunch break
at petticoat junction
to figuratively close
itty bitty teensy weensy
of cross between humpback ***** whale
analogous to miniscule Moby ****
regarding how prurient introduction
to reasonable rhyme blows.

I chose to memorialize, alas and alack
atypical/unusual fond memory -
argh, a sudden nostalgia attack
many... countless years gone back
livingsocial at 324 Level Road,
elapsed good times,
I can never buyback
prominent Gambone family builders
demolished complex edifice
currently repurposed mansion
manse sin courtesy
vinyl city as Stella's Way
boyhood address above,
never seen since transformed
into latter place name, which property
originally christened Glen Elm,
(within national registries)
yours truly can easily callback
detailed information searching internet
if mine eyes espied absent estate...
slack jawed stare would repeatedly
sow sadness weighing me heart
heavy as coalsack
accompanying sorrow with
attendant flood of tears,
would make an immediate comeback
impossible mission to stopper
feeble, futile and lame counterattack
where sentimental reverie would
carry me far away to Old Virginny,
for no particular rhyme nor reason.
e'en attempting to write
recollections might trigger
tsunami imminent domain
grievous childhood memories
recollecting watching silent home movies,
while chomping on crackerjack
when I had real teeth.

Like **** in boots, the Missus
axed me to enliven herself
regaling humorous instances, thus I cutback
to... party hardy times,
the major drawback
x amount of time elapsed
summoning special occasions
(surgeon general's warning
such mental revisitations)
fraught with onset,
where perilous flashback
will moost likely
violently grip cerebral cortex
analogous to suckerpunch puny chap (me)
knocked unconscious courtesy
searingly robust fullback,
nevertheless impossible mission
to restrain waterworks I intend to hijack,
and hoop fully succeed tamping tears
strong suggestion
as encouraged by hunchback
from Notre Dame Dublin
known within these neck of woods
as storied Paul Bunyan
also alias Philanderer,
(especially among superficially
prim and proper, but
actually prurient women folk),
whose services regarding payback
best abide, adhere, and afford
to pay forward credo fore playbook.

Said burly lumberjack
with severe scoliosis,
nonetheless quite self evident
his outsize implement,
(ye need not axe further questions)
extinguishing problematic residue
iterated further within
mine playful ramble
herewith to enliven
anecdote ever further,
I inject humorous tidbit
just gimme moment
to unload and reach
into psychological
metaphorical knapsack
particularly blue's clue
slimy hose from days of yore, my keepsake
to forcibly remove *******
birthed courtesy emergency pit stop
without means and ways to clean derriere,
a feeble and futile attempt.

Haint no fallacy
yours truly subsequently secured
more powerful giant accouterment),
while clinging for dear life
perched atop ledger
or edger domain of clawfoot bathtub,
(ah how convenient and timely
smallish size Jacuzzi getup to appear)
and lemme figuratively
continue closing pathetic riffraff
(apropos of nothing) rifling around
mostly strewn with random tchotchkes
and odd bubba's zayda's knickknack
such as ahh... look here hocked wares,
acquired ready to receive paddywhack
giving doggerel bonafied chops.

awash with intermittent amnesia.

Scant number of minutes elapsed...
before I forgot whether yours truly
took another dose of glycopyrrolate
ingested as a palliative prescription
medication addressing the issue of
palmar hyperhidrosis -- excessive
perspiration of palms of hands, an
unpleasant physiological symptoms
afflicting me more than three fourths
of my threescore and six years or
more specifically sixty six orbits
alive to the sound of music
debilitating, hobbling, loosing
a torrent of water dripping
(think Murchison Falls -
After crossing the gorge,
the water pours down
falling freely 45m below
creating a strong water spray
on which the rainbow is formed)
off the ventral side, id est anterior
(front) surface of the hand
an uncontrollable exudation
of wet sometimes saturated
issuance wren during
physical contact (particularly
a handshake) quite aggravating
and part of the reason
(without rhyme), I shied away
filling out applications,
a major self conscious
legendary characteristic
of my being at least
as far back as when
yours truly a poor student
at Methacton High School
creating a great disruption
when quizes or major midterms
or final examinations occurred
witnessing dog awful dilemma
when using pen(cil) and paper,
because the royal pain in the ****
sopping wet diaphoresis
significantly like duh impacted
satisfactory writing without the ink
or graphite turning into liquid,
yet never did I
(an extremely shy youth)
tell teacher (if young and female
generated flushed and hot sensations
finding me to blush),
but even if the pedagogue
a male never did mine tongue
wag to plead if I could retake the test
teasing out qualifications or knowledge
(ofttimes memorized strictly
for those minutes
of absolute zero noise),
when intense concentration
attempted to bring
to the fore of the mind
(essentially a mission impossible
even for the likes of ace actors,
who made their debut
when original "Mission: Impossible"
television series and made for silver screen
(countless decades later)
"Mission: Impossible - starring macho
and adroit Top Gun globetrotter,)
to **** out unsavory malefactors,
and Cruise’s (he
of Risky Business endless fame)
endearing, one-man crusade
to get butts back in movie theater seats
in spite of executives trying
to sell the industry out to streaming
the none-too-subtle subtext
of 2023’s delightful
“Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning”
also included a cameo appearance
of nondescript appearance
with his trademark characteristic
of longish wavy hair
giving him cachet as self anointed
free verse writing Poet
of Penn Valley, Pennsylvania
playing a well known woolgatherer
who recently returned from zzz land,
where dreams made
but rarely REMembered.

Vultures preyed on my vulnerabilities
forcing me to carrion camping
as fine young cannibals
sharpened their knives
and licked their lips
while eyeing me as their naked lunch
bound and gagged
as a huge cauldron bubbled
awaiting yours truly as human sacrifice
preparatory to be boiled alive
shorn of clothes
embarrassingly in the buff
with me *** bellied gut
and spindleshanks for legs
presenting a poor excuse
and laughing stock of **** sapiens
lowering my head in resignation
as a die hard atheist
putting sudden conviction
in an all knowing divine creator
who reassuringly winked nonverbally
a handy dandy blue's clue
meaning just wing it
relying on atavistic survival instinct
playing possum to thwart rat fink.

After threescore and six bountiful years,
I learned the wicked wiles of **** sapiens
as a much quicker picker upper,
now than earlier in my life
as the fickle finger of fate veered
yours truly hither and yon, to and fro
necessitating me to apply
razor sharp wit as potent,
(albeit sometimes brittle) spears
particularly after a delayed reaction welled up
analogous to waves that rock
plowing whitecaps into piers.

As a diminutive boy
passive role of scapegoat
granted bullies carte blanche permission
to threaten me with verbal taunts
and stop just a hair's breadth short
beating the sh*t out of one scared lad,
who subdued submissively, subserviently
suddenly and deftly
adopted fetal position
as mortal blow poised to strike,
I hurriedly and subsequently
dropped down on all fours,
where miming panting
bonafide doggone friggin human
praying for immediate salvation.
 
Intimidation of badass nasty brute
heaped insult upon injury
whereby string of expletives
hurled like blackened barbs
to additional disproportionate
trademark attributes of mine
aside from being rather diminutive in size
(easily squashed courtesy
incredible hulk sporting outsize glute)
mine existence could be extinguished
and snuffed out
videre licet runt of the mill
without anyone giving a hoot
mama and papa would say
"forget the ransom cuz
he ain't worth the loot"
momentarily imagining myself
as a radical righteous leftist
being raised by a deaf mute
resembling a Doctor Zeus character
while attending regal affair
in my honor
as musicians and leader of the band
trumpeted the clarion call
initiating pomp and circumstances
as zeppelin size conductor led
electric light orchestra
donning a zoot suit.

Invisible battle scars
worn like well earned
emotional tattoos
pierced armor of soul asylum,
nevertheless gifted me
how to feign being a lunatic,
when intimidated not to crater
like totally tubular offloading,
jettisoning superfluous ballast
dumping cumbersome
Jerry Springer like baggage
analogous to primordial
third rock from the sun
birthing when the Moon formed
from a giant impact event
involving the Earth
and a Mars-sized celestial body
named Theia around 4.5 billion years ago.

This collision ejected
a massive amount of debris into space,
which then coalesced to form the Moon
regarded as the most widely accepted theory,
known as the giant impact hypothesis.

Which lame excuse I exclaimed,
when my dear old mom asked
rather told me in her scolding voice
to tidy up my bedroom,
cuz this son of a gun
intuited neatening (organizing)
one infinitesimal corner of the cosmos,
(a veritable pinpoint of nothingness -
our house at blank address)
hence an excellent reason
as lamely iterated above
not to straighten up
my sleeping quarters,
or... rather lesser portion
of bedroom yours truly
then shared with my younger sister,
when writer of these words
just a diminutive lad,
who wished and envied himself

to be the diminutive little boy
(analogous to Jack Wild in Oliver)
at Baker Park day camp
named Stuart (or spelled Stewart) Gillett.

I did literally shortchange
natural born propensity
to witness maximum development
of body, mind, and spirit
when psyche whipsawed
by the vagaries of social anxiety,
panic attacks,
and obsessive compulsive disorder
(psychological maladies shortlisted
to spare the reader his/her tolerance
to endure umpteenth regurgitation
of boyhood, adolescent
and emerging adult mental health ills)
attempting to stave off bidding adieu
to a childhood's end mourned,
no matter fictitiously envisioned
formative years idyll reveries
analogous to present prevarication
being a Norwegian bachelor farmer
in Lake Woebegone,
where cessation of degradation
courtesy intubation, supported jollification
think (Potemkin Village)
bolstering façade and charade
of a faux gone existence.

Hypothetical arbitrary
definition of methodization
exemplified by eldest sister
(when as an an ace student
during convincingly
feigned rapt chores,
where the order of the day
pitted shushed obedient kids
subjected to elementary
my dear Watson pedagogical blather),
nevertheless she displayed
immaculate artistic renderings
courtesy the device
used during every grade
whether at primary,
junior and senior high school
to project images onto a screen,
where a teacher
would place transparent sheets
with written information,
called an overhead projector.

These projectors often referred to as OPs,
according to an article
on Larry Cuban's blog.

They were also sometimes
informally called a "Belshazzar".

Since the universe
abhorred the apotheosis
of parochial law and order
as epitomized
by aforementioned eldest sibling's
buzzfeeding with extremely
neat and groovy note-taking,
and hence succeeded
as a straight A student
completing dozen
***** deeds done dirt cheap
thru first to twelfth grade
with flying colors,
who as a nature lover to boot
shunned killing live specimens
from a young age
and ingeniously fantastic star student
got the lion's share
born sympathetic and empathetic
toward all creatures great and small,
(whose insect collection project
assignment for seventh grade -
where she pinned
dead critters to styrofoam board
and accompanied with drawings
with her exquisite left hand
validated her artistic penchant
that southpaws gifted
with predilection toward phenomenal
exact printing and drawing
preceding me by approximately
thirteen plus months prior
to my scrawny debut
in the webbed wide world,
where yours truly ranked
as most convenient scapegoat
where utter chaos reigned supreme
as evidenced and exemplified
by illegible chicken scratch
and deplorable messiness
to assigned hurt locker of mine.

I can hold out for upcoming mental health therapy until Wednesday at 1:00 p.m.

Yes, and you (like I) will probably presume me deservedly cursed for flagrante delicto years ago.

After I experienced the following catastrophe (written in my freestyle poetry), you won't be surprised that taking an overdose of one or more of the nine prescription medications became a very appealing exit from aggravating travails.

"Hell hath no fury
like a Matthew Scott Harris
fleeced, milked, and scammed"
affected double whammy debacle
worse than being bamboozled
by dreaded dybbuk,
and ransacked, targeted,
and zapped me monetary resources
analogous to wearing a bullseye on my back
eviscerated checking and savings accounts
leaving yours truly
without cents or sensibility.

I always prided myself without prejudice,
yet feel nothing
but red hot poker enmity
towards him/her
who robbed me blind
courtesy ***** nilly
pocketing meager pocket change
(but now yours truly
closer to being penniless)
no matter Citizens Bank
vowed, pledged, and held
unswerving oath vis a vis
"FDIC insured" an FDIC-insured bank,
which means that deposits
in all types of Citizens Bank accounts
insured by the FDIC, dollar for dollar,
up to $250,000 per person.

This insurance covers
a wide range of accounts,
including checking, savings,
money market, and certificates of deposit.

According to Citizens Bank,
they are proud to be a part
of the FDIC's deposit insurance system.

A sting operation
already set in motion
hopefully nabs
and prosecutes guilty perpetrators,
whose criminal intent
hopefully finds them behind bars
where they get roughened up
by nasty short and brutish prison thugs.

Two separate incidents
of outright theft occurred
along dark shadows
while merrily ambling along
the information superhighway
(where life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness)
like a dream oblivious
and unbeknownst to me
entering the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
where robberies occurred,
in one case scenario,
an unsuspecting individual
acquired a new debit card
meant for the missus
so she could access
our joint checking account,
which nonchalant activation
and subsequent withdrawal of money
blithely undertaken by unknown person(s),
similar and maybe identical individual
who utilized Zelle (case scenario two)
to access savings account,
no doubt experienced joie de vivre.

Along the edge of night,
I arose to said rude awakening
on May sixteenth
two thousand and twenty five
discovering visa vis
that scrawny money tree of mine
figuratively shaken until...
mine bark turned into a whimper,
whereat this doggone word wrangler
found himself
handed a sentence of destitution.

A new checking
and savings accounts created
as a precautionary measure
to stymie future sinister motives
of stealthy badass antagonists,
and also User Identification
and password changed
to thwart nefarious nincompoops.

Hopefully I can recoup
considerable lost money
and nevertheless will brace myself
to accept a fate worse than death.

like the infinite vista
upon the midwestern plain
farther than the eyes of mine
(an ascetic and copacetic
shortsighted father of two grown
twenty something daughters)
can no longer see,
since sockets severely seared
staring at the hypnotic screen
blindsided courtesy the magnificent 7
(a group of seven
major technology companies
that consistently outperformed
the overall stock market,
particularly in recent years)
severed mine "ocular orbs,"
leaving a comfortably numbskull
bonafide USDA approved
nondescript puny skeleton
once sported a sexagenarian
sliding seventy inches
down into the behavioral sink
dwarfed by teeming masses
of dead people,
(who once possessed a sixth sense)
sporting telltale signs of misery
somnambulance courtesy prolonged insomnia
a sorry escape for a Dreamcatcher
standing under the dome (more so
wobbling on spindle shanks
awaiting Rita Hayworth
and Shawshank redemption),
though I never flinch
head and shoulders above me,
where their vestigial swallowed tail
(shriveled and atrophied coccyx
resembling dessicated wild asparagus),
the bony husk, the body, the firestarter
illustrating emotionally tattooed
generic common John Doe
among skeletal husks
of emaciated humans
wolfishly fighting over scraps
confusing yours truly (me)
as some tasty morsel
with weathered gristle
remains of the day
from a freshly fielded ****
concentration camp victim
mostly bleached lovely bones
charred courtesy bonfire of the vanities
the aftermath of cannibals
partying after experiencing ****** madness
strongly resembling animated
****** temple pilots
base sic lee emulating 10,000 maniacs
frolicking with more'n one
barenaked lady supertramp wannabe
turning her cheap trick
ohm my dog after getting a charge
quaffing electric kool aid acid test
gifted me with aforementioned hallucinations
to escape the cares and concerns
of an uncertain future,
hence I never wanna venture out
nor can yours truly (me)
break free and clear of this cell
tethered with omnipotent cables
of human *******
approximating as a quasi umbilical cord
housed in Apartment b44
analogous to be encapsulated
and livingsocial as if born again
within pseudo makeshift ******
no longer experiencing desperation
to venture outside
into the webbed wide world
because I feel safe and sound
ensconced under the covers
away from the coming fury
where opposing armies never call reatreat
meanwhile the cursor blinks
as the writer of these words sits stupefied
yawning chasms that could swallow a Mack truck
despite just arising
from a siesta moments ago
dead set to let thought unspool
analogous to a meandering river
baffling the casual observer
why a more direct route
from mountaintop to base
did not manifest destiny
"a riddle wrapped in a mystery
inside an enigma"
which origins of the phrase
can be traced back to a statement
made by Winston Churchill
in 1939 regarding the Soviet Union.

(on a rainy May thirteenth
two thousand and twenty five)
as a balm against ennui
becoming engrossed, immersed,
and lost in space of orrery
regarding the universe created courtesy
Nora Roberts well crafted novel Montana Sky
perusing said realistic fiction
as if inebriated
with one hundred proof liquor
experiencing drunken stupor
merely from evocatively written story
and subsequently
envying such craftsmanship
incorporating her gushing wellspring
plentifully populated
with seat of the pants suspense
interwoven with the tapestry
of love and delight
in the valley of dark shadows
where the edge of night
(awash with creatures
conjured from an overactive imagination)
creeps into the realm
bordered by outer limits of the twilight zone
buzzfeeding insatiable
appetite for consumption
of one bookworm hellbent
on appeasing his voracious hunger
mental comfort analogous
to buffet of food omnipresent
for a famished homeless person,
which unfortunate soul
could be yours truly linkedin
to a lifetime of poor planning
and lack of sticktoitiveness
toward reasonable goals
abandoning ambition ousted
with faith no more
devoid of self confidence
by long entrenched apathy
taking root kudzu like way back
during blissful boyhood,
when yours truly
deferred to those
who begat him as his boatswain de jure
and panicking
when he clocked eighteen years
around the nearest star
totally unable and unready
to be master of his domain
witnessed courtesy
as he hopscotched
from one college to another
without rhyme nor reason
and giving up on himself
before testing his short lived
quizzical excitement pursuing
for example setting sights
on bachelor of science degree
at Temple University
as a Geology major
disbelieving I possessed the smarts
to comprehend chemistry or physics,
and rather than applying
figurative button nose to grindstone
yours truly (me) impulsively withdrew
repeated the above refrain
approximately half a dozen times,
and only recently discovering
vis a vis unbridled joy
imbibing countless author's claim to fame
boosting his literacy,
which plunge into
webbed wide world of imagination
did ensure temporary alleviation of learning
not so much to impress anybody,
but more so engaged
in near futile attempt
to appease hungry bibliophile
christened Matthew Scott Harris,
I simultaneously sought escape
from cares and concerns
of an uncertain world
where the great unknown
akin to a vast dangerfield
peopled with brutish,
nasty and short imps of the pervert
unsuspecting poe whet tick justice
awaiting within pit and the pendulum.

"Dangerfield" is a surname of Norman origin, meaning "settlement of danger" or "village of danger". It is a habitational name, meaning it originated from a place name in northern France. The name combines the Old Norse personal name "Ásgeirr" (from "áss" meaning god and "geirr" meaning spear) with the Old French "ville" meaning settlement or village. The "d" in "Dangerfield" is a fused preposition meaning "of" or "from."

honored at freedom fête
of course in my dreams
where Tony the Tiger
roars Matthew Scott Harris
ranks as one hip cat gr-r-eat
showcasing adroitness
with ability to turn a phrase
evident if we could arrange a tête-à-tête
where immortality doth  wait.

Pacifist bard of Perkiomen Valley
regaled at Alpine Fellowship conclave
regarding erosion of Democratic rights grave
alarming usurpation of power - Republicans
each and every one a nasty and brutish knave
intent to pronounce decree sentencing
every **** sapien to pave
(courtesy their lovely bones)
back breaking laborious ****** path
trumpeting, signaling and attesting slave
versus master linkedin relationship
essentially scuttling emancipation proclamation
lifetime of human *******
forced to pledge flag of servitude
amidst wreckage broken souls
washed away courtesy totalitarian wave.

Foreclosure on purported inalienable rights
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
though hard won freedoms crimped
foregone conclusion demanding
fealty and loyalty to sovereignty
therefore necessitates electorate
to stage coup d'état
and overthrow autocrat
ideally thru peaceful modus operandi.

Though aforementioned verses hypothetical,
mine overactive imagination
can easily envision governmental,
née societal debacle
witnessing yours truly,
an extremely shy
Norwegian bachelor wannabe
gobbling up ample powder milk biscuits
to acquire courage to protest
(no matter the temperature
seasonably pitch perfect May tenth
two thousand and twenty five)
and stand firm against
one unnamed political party
aiming to upend voting rights,
thus disenfranchising
most economically vulnerable people
(predominantly) persons of color
to cast their vote for representation.

Absolute zero chance for change
unless even those risk averse
(such as one garden variety wordsmith)
to protest without resorting to violence
and staking a claim to denounce
opposition against exercising
freedom for citizens
to elect eligible candidate.

I too would join aspiring bravehearts
(each of us participants
tightly grasping an amulet),
not looking for fame nor fortune,
only martyrdom and sainthood ha,
nevertheless able, eager, and ready
to risk life and limb in an effort to preserve
(even at expense getting into a jam)
principle figurative bulwark buttressing
buzzfeeding land of milk and honey myth.

Throughout American history
many patriots as well
as indigenous tribes bled,
the latter viciously tracked down
nsync with ominous dread,
no matter how fast they fled
taking refuge courtesy
sympathetic abolitionists,
who silently motioned
at (hiding) in hogshead
wherein close proximity
slave catchers hope
upon silent footsteps they tread
to steal back their overworked
and demeaned hashtagged chattel.

Outspoken voices helped spur
Emancipation Proclamation and
subsequent manumission
diametrically opposed to bedrock
attitudes, ideologies, prejudices...
kept in check by scare tactics
thus disallowing formerly shackled
to experience full fledged freedom,
whether enjoying opportunities
available to the leisure class
or exploring inherent potential
to amass learning
and become financially successful,
which suppression of free will,
(within parameters of self expression -
artistic, literary, musical et alia)
gives credence to notion of white privilege
automatic guilt linkedin with skin color.

Each generation of oppressed,
especially those who break the color barrier
subjected with bigotry
(ofttimes subtle mistreatment)
challenging well earned freedom
rightfully bequeathed from forebears labor.

The ghosts of Africans
who suffered pre colonial rule
(namely European exploitation)
robbed of their national identity
will foreever haunt the offspring,
whose forefathers/mothers
brutally desecrated haven housing
rightful autochthonous
men, women and children
living social within
their own Lake Wobegone.

After proper manager
distributed the latest bulletin
to all the residents at Highland Manor,
plus wrinkled her nose at noxious odor
(explained at length below)
purportedly emanating from unit B44,
we (myself and the missus)
felt in our lovely bones,
an imminent inspection in the offing,
certain as Santa Ana winds blow
strong, dry, and warm
from inland desert regions
towards coastal Southern California
and northern Baja California.

The other day myself and the spouse
went to ACME
in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
and bought a truckload of broccoli,
one or more bags
started to thaw within the car
courtesy the greenhouse effect,
when bag toted inside
said package started emitting
a peculiar rank malodorous stink
as if some animal up and died,
which smell permeated the hallway
right outside the apartment door.
New restrictions put in place here
at Highland Manor Apartments
basically reflect harsh repressive measures
witnessed within and across
the manifold governments
evincing, kick/jump starting,
sporting twenty first civilizations attempt
at liberty and justice for all
violently crushed by steel booted thugs
effectively, immediately, and euphemistically
snuffing out flickering flames of freedom
by dint of force
ousting uber progressive lyft of democracies
exemplifying, justifying, stultifying a general
webbed wide world trend
toward illustration, imposition and inquisition
of nasty, short and brutish trolls
enforcing the diktat tatter ship
that might equals right
warrants a coup d'état to be fomented
even if yours truly
must step up to the plate
analogously hitting a homerun
for the boys in the hood
comprising home team,
and claim mine fifteen minutes of fame
without incurring the wrath of Kong
rather welcoming and resurrecting
personifications of SuperMan
such as that Incredible Hulk
of green day energy potential,
whose paw size mitts
can easily sweep away
the surge of totalitarianism
of Republican dominance
responsible for perpetrating
political devastation and divisiveness
courtesy Project 2025
compliment stock in trademark
second Trump dynasty
during what historians
hashtagged as global reign of terror
signalling the vestigial
end of democracy,
especially within countries
where such figurative trial balloons launched,
ushering doomsday scenario,
particularly as atomic warheads
decimated great swaths of humanity
rendering planet earth
mostly uninhabitable, inimitable, and dubitable,
not only for **** sapiens,
but countless other species.

not one drop of sweat
(especially on hot humid and hazy days)
less than a gallon
exudes forth from my pores
but nevertheless
I can single handedly manage...
primary idiopathic palmar/
palmoplantar hyperhidrosis.

Aforementioned physiological malady
unwanted and unwonted figurative
(metaphorical) beast of burden
linkedin with matrix constituting mine
corporeal essence genetically
gifted to yours truly,
invariably, objectionably,
and unquestionably
afflicts, impacts, and upsets
emotional (mental) health
diagnosed with
schizoid personality disorder.

Tis no fun when unable
to join in any reindeer games
(actually quite aggravating)
to experience chronic instances,
whereby profuse sweat drips
(think rivaling Angel Falls),
the loftiest falls on land
inducing extreme self
consciousness and embarrassment.

Socialization compromised,
jeopardized, and sabotaged
against natural proclivity to fraternize,
thus avoidance behavior
(i.e. social distancing) rigorously practiced
way before coronavirus (COVID-19)
mandated staying at least 6 feet
(about 2 arm's length) from other people.
I vaguely recollect even while in utero
sweaty hands cooled courtesy amniotic fluid
yet subsequently observing consternation
obstetrician displayed as
itty bitty teensy weensy fingers
dripped - think faucet turned on full force.

Mein kampf (predominantly
describes solitary existence)
severely exacerbated (still prominent)
ability to function undermined
courtesy deux part and parcel
significant aforestated physiological
and social congenital afflictions
somewhat ameliorated by
about half dozen
plus three prescription medications,
one of which includes glycopyrrolate
typically one of the first treatments
for craniofacial hyperhidrosis
(excessive sweating of the face and head)
and the second or third treatment
for palmar, plantar, or axillary hyperhidrosis
(excessive sweating of the palms,
soles, and armpits).

I keep hermetically sealed
within our single bedroom apartment
(we lucked out with unit B44
providing us scenic view)
then (at the initial
crafting of bulk of this poem)
climate controlled at sixty degrees Fahrenheit
(you do the math to figure
the Centigrade temperature),
nevertheless these
five fingered appendages
ooze perspiration on par
with spigots gushing sweat.

Worse fate than death finds me
suffering one or more
dogged following plagues:
water turning to blood, frogs, lice,
flies, livestock pestilence, boils, hail,
locusts, darkness and killing
of firstborn children far less oppressive
versus being stricken with Hyperhidrosis.

Sain above identified unpleasant fallout
understandably, quintessentially, and inextricably
linkedin within every fiber
moost likely activated since conception - mine
body electric infiltrated nerve wracking
complex corporeal edifice
interestingly enough solely overbearing
while yours truly wide awake
bright tailed and bushy eyed,
yet sleep ofttimes brings
severely dislocating, disquieting
and discombobulating
subconscious nocturnal experiences,
which frightful, maniacal, and
phantasmagorical vivid dreams
undermines, oppresses, and impinges,
any joie de vivre
creating abominable hell on Earth
thus this dirt poor commoner
pronouncing his intent
to beg, borrow and/or steal
(sell my soul to the devil)
in a desperate effort to secure
and pay King's ransom
to rid myself once and for all
of parasite entrenched nemesis
bleeding dry, leeching, and yoking
writer christened Matthew Scott Harris,
whereby he doth regularly writhe in agony.

Often these days
the following genuine sentiment
Matthew Scott Harris
doth wish to share one son,
cuz twenty years after mother succumbed
courtesy of terminal illness
that ravaged her body.

I still reckon how yours truly
shrugged off proffering
tender loving care
within whose womb,
this sole prodigal son wannabe born,
thus shouldered with self scorn
and now two decades later,
the grief and regret not so heavily worn,
nevertheless I consider myself
less familiar to thy mama
than her hats (no surprise,
she got known
as the hat – trick - lady) on a rack
(built by papa)
that donned yorn head
and trumpeted the presence
of a free spirit.

He (the writer of these words) clearly recounts
as if her death occurred yesterday...,
(when all mine troubles
moost definitely not far away)
last remaining grains sands of time.

Imagine an hourglass
where fine granules
trickle from one to another
(upper to lower) bulbed chamber
just prior when coroner decrees death,
yet an opportunity prevailed
wherein said self (me) chose
NOT to stand vigil at deathbed
of she begat
an older and younger daughter
(mine sibling sisters).

Last breath(s) expelled while mama
tethered to machines,
one or more helped diminish
agonizing, depressing, and writhing
pain and discomfort
racked once fitness
and health conscious
industrious, tenacious, and vivacious body,
which malignant terminal illness
(no joke) riddled a former robust
Arthur Murray ballroom dance instructor
(think approximately
threescore and ten years past),
whose flirtatious demeanor
instantaneously caught fancy of handsome
twenty something papa at his prime.

Before rigor mortis quickly
stole precious lifeblood, and
final minutes ticked away until
countdown to... realm of absent consciousness
scant moments before subtle transition
slipped our beloved mother into deadzone...,
neither final adieu, caress, grief...,
nor poem written...
never communicated to deceased,
not an iota of sorrowful lament
bequeathed, prevailed, relinquished...
over lifeless body (mommy dearest)
relegated limp suddenly cold stone body,
where morgue aged (mortgaged) corpse
interestingly enough principally
kept in cold storage
(despite aversion to frigid air
exhibited by mama)
preparatory to cremation process.

Rather... suppressed resentment
exhibited itself at 1148 Greentree Lane
(partial listed then abode -
Matthew Scott Harris,
plus his family resided)
by mister recalcitrant,
felt ambivalent carte blanche blasé affection
regarding once young bride,
(who smothered cingular heir insync
with dada i.e. Boyce Brandon Harris),
cuz he (yours truly overstayed
livingsocial under same roof as parents,
which happenstance (in tandem
with the Leiper's preference
for their demesne plus
one hundred acre estate called Glen Elm
before being purchased by –
I believe a local
within Southeastern Montgomery County,
Pennsylvania realtor
named Donald Neilson, but do not quote me)
situated at 324 Level Road.

Both thee aforementioned
supposed biological guardians
railed, screamed, tormented (albeit verbally)
yours truly, upon mine eighteenth birthday,
when great expectations greatly exacerbating
emotionally hard times,
which ill suited poet de jure
experienced, brickbats rained
down upon these
(considerably mooch younger) lovely bones
whose anger (mine) smoldered
linkedin to constant epithets of expletives
out the mouths of those who begat me,
subsequently their livid with rage
tsunami festered within every
holy Mole (he) molecule
within mine atomized corporeal being
manifesting itself as deprivation
to embrace dear mama
attended at hospital with
both non twisted sisters;
one hailed from Woodbury, New Jersey
and the younger one staked out
modest home within Bend, Oregon,
meanwhile thee grim reaper
did patiently scythe before soon
nonchalantly heading back
to his old curiosity shop,
a rather bleak house, I now conclude.

plus I batten down the itty bitty hatches
courtesy Avast Random Password Generator,
and keep track of alphanumeric
near impossible to crack passwords
incorporating a special symbol
such as exclamation point
painstakingly recording passwords
courtesy OpenOffice document.

a couple of instances experiencing
getting the MacBook Pro hacked
linkedin to vulnerable
and susceptible access to my computer
learned me to bolster
and heavily defend
against cyber intruders
by additionally purchasing applications
such as MacKeeper
and Safe Central for Aol
the former program
manually and daily executed,
while the latter program
automatically activated at startup
soon after I turn on the computer.

generally speaking
ever since purchasing my first Macbook
close on the heels of fifteen years ago,
I pride Apple on their craftsmanship
even if their trademarked products
assembled courtesy automation,
which state of the art production facility
primarily manufactured overseas
according to a February 10, 2025 Google search,
whereby according to a new supply chain report,
Apple is reportedly
shifting its production strategy
by scaling back its plans to expand MacBook
manufacturing in Vietnam
while placing greater emphasis on India.

as a long time devotee
for a company
approaching fiftieth anniversary
since being incorporated
as Apple Computer, Incorporated
on January 3, 1977,
without doubt, I intend
to make my next purchases
(for the rest of my life)
a laptop computer
branded, minted, and stamped
with globally recognized
trustworthy iconic Apple logo,
a bitten apple, grew out of an idea
initially presented in 1976,
when Ronald Wayne,
one of Apple's co-founders,
designed a logo featuring Isaac Newton
sitting under an apple tree.

This logo depicted the famous scientist
and his discovery of gravity.

However, Steve Jobs wasn't satisfied
and sought a simpler, more modern logo.

In 1977, Rob Janoff, a graphic designer,
created the current bitten apple logo,
which got introduced
with the Apple II computer.

Unbeknownst to me,
then (upon advent of my debut)
or now as a threescore
and six year old contemplative,
intuitive, and ruminative
smart 1959 Caucasian diminutive model
prone to daydream
and dawdle as I waddle
like the chipper robot I am,
a helpmate for persons
taking a major exam
crafting a monologue for an imam,
and subsequently sending
said valorized, optimized,
italicized, and digitized communiqué
to above holy Muslim leader,
especially one succeeding Muhammad
as leader of Shiite Islam
also I got (the whole
webbed wide world
in my bionic hands) designed created
and equipped with buzzfeeding
and distributing blueprints
for 3D printing housing accommodations
to safeguard devout followers
from elements of nature
within a tricked out ashram
with latest sophisticated
telecommunications potential.

The following account predicated on partial fact and a healthy dose of prevarication with an attendant overactive imagination.

Trying to REM ember the waking stage of an emotionally tormenting dream

One week later
still dog-tired after jarring telephone ordeal
(seven days ago from April 30, 2025)
with fake government employees,
yours truly still emotionally haggard
trembling and wretched
closely following on the figurative heels
of FaceBook account of mine getting hacked,
whereat my psyche got hijacked to Cuba.

I fell prey to innocuous text messages
sent to my FaceBook messenger account
by person(s) unknown,
which promised a boatload of money
one quick get rich scheme
supposedly no strings attached
of course the wary and suspect
immediately read thru the lines,
and saw the scam for what it was.

I learned the hard way
courtesy supposed special federal agent
Carlos A. Briano linked into
hashtagged badge identification 437409,
who tried to implicate me
and/or in conjunction
with criminals on the loose,
who stole my identity
for egregious purposes
such as money laundering
and selling illegal contrabands.

Official sounding acronyms
bandied about (to and fro,
hither and yon) in tandem
with interjected convincing sounding
emphatic threats of jail time
gave muscle and heft,
and ample material to mine
for months worth of telehealth therapy
courtesy CHE Behavioral Health Services.

No police people
came knocking on our door
one bedroom apartment unit labeled b44
coming to take me away
to be imprisoned
with heavily pierced
and tattooed criminals
hashtagged as *******
bullying, once upon a time a wimpy kid,
who grew into an older shy
Norwegian Bachelor farmer
frequently and nevertheless repeatedly
targeted by fraudsters,
which psychological torture
attributed to series of unfortunate events -
mainly unfairly accused
as complicit and accessory
of serious offenses
found yours truly
to be falsely accused
courtesy stolen identity (mine)
brutalized by nasty and short thugs
while behind bars,
where accidentally linkedin
with high crimes and misdemeanors
eventually inured me against punishment
(videre licet pummeled
into matted pulp) de jure
factor post traumatic stress
a major reason without rhyme
explaining current resultant languor
with just energy and panhandle
holding up a placard reading
"please help me Mister Postman,
cuz I am poor."

unexpectedly came about,
when possible prospect
of the wife going
to Puerto Rico by herself
(for a fêted celebration
of our eldest daughter
and her significant other,
which occurred years ago
courtesy justice of the peace)
attended by family and friends
across the webbed wide word
found me positing how I would feel
staying back at the apartment alone
for a couple of days -
maybe a week at most
enjoying a quasi
short lived bachelor existence -
fending for myself,
which would mean
subsisting on a diet constituting
opening a can of whole cranberry sauce,
or other fruits or vegetables ad nauseum
for breakfast, lunch or supper.

Upon the possibility,
where circumstances could find me
free and clear
from the nagging persistence
hearing "Matt"... "Matt"... "Matt"...
called out by the spouse,
plus various and sundry
other quirky behavior she playfully displays,
the sentiment of missing such annoying
ofttimes hounding, prodding characteristics
would sorely be missed,
though I rarely if ever communicate
any strong compassion
towards the woman,
(whose troth pledged
not quite thirty years ago)
continually in my close proximity.

Though our marriage
devoid of physical intimacy wife
get along swimmingly,
we exhibit less strife
than days of yore effulgence promulgated
to all readers unbeknownst to human life
form characterized by bloke,
whose words appeared across screen
exemplifying, embodying, and edifying
regarding beloved simian counterpart
bandying playfully sometimes
drubbing and drumming my body
while she emulates sounds of fife.

Although she ranks
as a fine prairie home companion since
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
a tad more than five months
(not quite to the day) before
"star student" birthed
on December twenty second,
now gainfully employed
at Certified B-Corporation
initially stationed since being hired
within San Francisco, California,
but presently employed in New York City.

The missus madder than a raging (red) bull
visa vis upon discovering mine absence
(cuz I slept in the basement
at 724 Railroad Avenue)
how wretched and dull
being married and celibate,
hence yours truly sought full
fill mint outside the marriage,
yet unbeknownst to this husband
an automatic, fatalistic,
and opportunistic hull
king, quaking, and vociferating wife
gave me a thrashing tongue lashing harangue
verbal dressing down, I betrayed,
coveted another woman
flaunted sacred pact
and will (as good as) hang,
analogously like being in league
with wanted villain,
who committed nefarious misdeed
which ****** imbroglio,
albeit (nocturnal escapade) did boomerang
in earshot of both
our young daughters ****** ears,
thus a sudden pang
to exit the scene arose up inside me
courtesy wishful trapdoor to appear suddenly,
(whereby regarding floorboards)
from out mine overactive imagination sprang
open to usher, and/or time travel back
to earlier that fateful night rather than lang
whooshing amidst livid rage
self serving deserved fiery emasculation,
the noose hence I did stage,
experiencing withering, twittering,
snapchatting, kickstarting blistering
expletive laced epithets think
ready to burst pressure cooker
evincing dangerously hot level gauge
driving figurative wedge
between me family
courtesy foaming at the mouth spouse
(of course deux progeny affected)
renting asunder and rendering hollow
thee justice of the peace
gordian tied, uttered,
vouchsafed worded oath I did pledge.

Divorce prematurely *******,
yet instantaneously dismissed
no more pleasant alternative spewed versus
contracting cankerous cyst
analogous to toxic mother
of our two offspring hissed,
particularly the first born offspring
disparaging me directly linkedin
with promiscuous tryst
me honestly, lamely, meekly
justifying philandering gist
cuz gal methought
(good idea mister casanova wannabe),
which came as soliloquizing aside
to exchange as bartered bride
thine scorned wife,
who would relentlessly chide
(even long after the day I died)
abominable behavior, I do readily admit
figuratively found me electrified
what with raging testosterone nsync with
hormonal secretion my guide
****** gamboling, I chose not to hide
never back once black traipsing inside
double entendre meant
viz yule eyes joyride
horizontally we and the mistress lied
without prejudice but lacking pride.

I led a boring life.
The end.

All joking aside, now the epilogue.

As a bookish fellow born January 13th,1959
he attended school and got promoted
as a mediocre student,
who honestly nearly failed every grade
courtesy my nasty, short
and brutish doppelgänger,
who nixed, sabotaged, waylaid
me a little boy blue
(nothing but a representation of innocence),
who felt depressed
at the prospect of experiencing childhood's end,
and essentially tried to starve himself to death
courtesy Anorexia Nervosa
but mother dearest intervened
being a licensed practical nurse
whipped up in the blender
heaping spoonfuls of bananas,
molasses, wheat germ, et cetera
a veritable smoothie
à la pureed fruit drink
(harkening popularity
of said liquid refreshment
in Mediterranean
and Eastern cultures for centuries),
nevertheless, she possessed alchemical wizardry
to turn straw into gold,
she learned secret from "Rumpelstiltskin,"
matter of fact
as first and only born son
of Harriet and Boyce,
they willingly surrendered
their scrawny screaming newborn
to the imp of the pervert brainchild
(predicated upon phrase caveat emptor)
of an anonymous author popularized
courtesy a German fairy tale
collected by the Brothers Grimm in the 1812,
hence no surprise
the biological woman
(then in her mid/late thirties)
who birthed me
in the webbed wide world,
possessed the knick knack paddy whack
ways and means
to make grim reaper skadaddle
and make him temporarily scarce
during his debut appearance,
nevertheless suicidal ideation
schemes brooded but never hatched
nor became manifest destiny
throughout mein kampf
though the thought
to overdose on fluoxetine
(generic for Prozac)
does flit hither and yon,
to and fro within the nooks and crannies
of sixty six year old
nearly petrified gray matter,
which body electric of mine
will be dedicated to science
with the knowledge me Abby Normal brain
bringing descendent of Doctor Victor Frankenstein's
tech savvy monster of the future
to life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
purely generated like fine spun gold,
courtesy artificial intelligence,
yet possessing a characteristic glimmer
of the donor's aura, charisma,
karma, persona, et cetera,
an unexceptional human,
he Matthew Scott Harris
led (and still lives)
a humdrum existence
(fifty years ago the tract
and once sprawling estate
known as “Glen Elm”
happened to be in the sticks)
within southeastern
Montgomery County Pennsylvania
smarting from continually exhibiting hesitancy
to engage in the thick scrum of life
rather yours truly
figuratively and literally sat on the sidelines
never being asked
to join patriot or reindeer games,
and when I got reluctantly linkedin (courtesy default)
with a particular team,
the other members
frowned and rolled their eyes
and sighed with resignation
stuck with the last person picked
aware that an immediate deficit
got consigned to them
guaranteeing disruption
to unbroken winning streak
acquiring the appellation of "loser"
and other attendant colorful epithets
long before Trump
popularized said sobriquet
even though both my parents
contributed their fair share
of verbally traumatizing mine psyche,
allowing, enabling and providing myself
as figurative punching bag,
nevertheless I out did receiving abuse
inflicting denigration of self by a long stretch
courtesy chance discovery
of self directed emasculation
experiencing emotional death by a thousand cuts
permanently scarring the body, mind,
and spirit triage
of he who wrote these words,
which modus operandi of literary expression
offered him, especially in his later life
(after the passing of those
who begat him and eagerly subscribed
to the biological urge to reproduce and adage
"be fruitful and multiply,"
a phrase from Genesis 1:28 where,
a blessing and a command
related to procreation and population growth)
a catharsis and therapeutic exercise.

Preface: On the evening of April 14, 1865, while attending a special performance of the comedy, "Our American Cousin," President Abraham Lincoln was shot.

President Abraham Lincoln died approximately nine hours after being shot at Ford's Theatre. The assassination occurred on the evening of April 14, 1865, and he was pronounced dead at 7:22 am on April 15, 1865.

Curtain call -
Ford's Theater, April 15th, 1865...
Petersen House, Washington, D.C.
death prevailed across linkedin land
after bulletin screamed
out the barrel into revered occupant
seated within the state box,
the flag-draped theatre boxed booth
located in the balcony
to your right as you face the stage,
courtesy a single-shot,
.44-caliber Deringer pistol
with stony gall.

I admit to own a passion
for the Civil War in general,
and the life and death of
the sixteenth president in particular
between a hard spot of whiskey
and draughts of arrack;
nonetheless (without doubt), this Yankee
would be fain to travel back
to Antebellum America
amidst the urban din and clack
where smelting earsplitting,
choking industrialization
a deaf fin hit drawback,
and where dark shadows cast an eternal
edge of night twilight zone pallor
tubby somewhat exact
from mighty robber barons,
who tolerated no flack
(nope not even Roberta)
despite the bleeding nose against grindstone
inhumanity bearing down hard
with very little giveback
viz zit head as greenback
yes...no matter the noxious
crash course urbanization
(and attendant ghettoization)
breeding a lung wrenching tuberculosis hack,
this twenty first century middle aged
married man (an average Monterey Jack
***), whose sought after
claim to fame penchant
modestly admits to **** knack
crafting literary concoctions with no lack
of ideas, where one arose
strong as an oncoming mack
truck (this vibrant fascination
with the American Civil War
(even before Ken Burns popularized
global tragedy that affected
the webbed, wide world then and now
calamitous, iniquitous, and  
ubiquitous event) in non black
and white (digitally remastered technicolor)
exemplified, enumerated, and emphasized
how a minor dispute got way off track
whereat stately commander in chief did pack
a punch analogous sans, barreling forth
like unstoppable quarterback
despite his six foot four inch
gangly physique cull rack
tried his darnedest,
(or substitute unprintable epithet)
yet a coterie of anti war subjects
figuratively and literally up in arms
wanted nothing less to sack
the sixteenth president,
whose aged fifty seven year old countenance
one month after
Ides of March death didst dance
during the low key celebration sans,
internecine bloodbath Grants'
and Lees' armistice
one hundred and fifty seven years ago;

the peace treaty signed
(April 9th, 1865) at Appomattox,
an irrevocable agony did blow
when that fateful, mournful,
somber night at Ford's Theater
the grim reaper didst appear
(like Jim) crow king
ably linkedin with Reconstruction
after one shot rang out blasting,
where crimson tide didst flow
drowning American history
at that juncture grow
wing no less painless today, which hoo
veer ring agony didst smite
incomprehensible cleft mow
wing down unfinished ambition, which no
one other than Abraham Lincoln could sow
the racial rift, that slavery trucked in tow
generations shackled with compounded woe

that fateful April 15, 1865
at approximately 10:20 p.m
one hundred plus sixty years; it's been
long since deceased taking deadly
gunshot punctuated deadly din,
whence sixteen plus decades passed sans
conspirator tried to get even
at Ford’s theater – forever
eviscerating thin lipped grin
of the sixteenth president - still
his unrealized promising dreams with in
Reconstruction paradigm presses
historians to speculate what
what kinship his unrealized
post-bellum blueprint
while he sat in his booth,
attended a performance of the comedy
Our American Cousin that night
when a bullet entered below
the president's left ear,
bored diagonally through his brain
and stopped behind his right …
wrought him slumped over,
now tis 7 score + 20 years witnessed
assassination of Abraham Lincoln
team of rivals mastermind, re: the
American Civil War wreck con struck shin
yet…his positive affects find him
honored with outsize depictions and a con tin
hue wing legacy sustained, whereby
hearts and minds he posthumously did win.

Said enigmatic man shrouded and idolized
with beatific, democratic essence
fantastic, honorific, pacific aura, dogma,
and persona with meager off fence
to generations of United States citizens –
enthralled ladies and gents
whose reverberations and ramifications
of humane karma lives on – hence
begotten progeny enjoying freedoms
perchance ensconced with rapt innocence
or those inured with sensibility and sense
can bequeath pride without prejudice
whether living in splendour or in tents
toward Illinois railroad log splitter,
whose humble roots forged steely covenants.

with a scheming, loving, and enticing guise
alive and well seeking gullible guys
(once upon a time just like me),
who experiences close encounters
of masterly baited entrapment
on Facebook Messenger
and most likely endemic
on other social media platforms.

My humblest bumblebee apology
if nothing but utter milky confusion
ensues from legions of double entendres,
and puns lobbed across your screen
in a harmless attempt
to parry and ****** with playfulness,
but take a deep breath
cause by the end of this posting
(girl scout's honor) you will wheeze
after weathering tumultuous introduction
to poetic missive of mine
merely meant to tickle those axons
populating the nose
about to make the nostril(s),
and neurons as a tease
sne, snee...sneez...achoo...sneeze
analogous to a feather
sorry if you get an allergic reaction
and experience more'n knocked knees.

No easy way to offer you an abridged version
(and brook those undercurrents of riptides)
that wrought havoc and delivered
nothing but hard times to this writer and kin
the latter (two grown daughters)
long since launched successful lives.

I constantly felt rent asunder
and whipped (though
miraculously survived) this way and that
(by abysmal fate)
in what most likely
appeared to be beyond the ability
to function, yet someone
(by the slick grace of some divine force,
and faith no more in inherent strength)
wordsmith performed requisite duties
as house husband and father
never experienced deliverance
(cue dueling banjos)
after dehydration videlicet salivation
from accursed ***** deeds done dirt cheap
to be adumbrated within
subsequent sketchy
following lines of gibberish
possibly triggering favorable rapport
with thee dear reader to evolve.

How impasse and quagmire
of cumulative emotional, financial,
and spiritual tsuris
bogged me down courtesy
the swamp thing
(near to the point of emotional, mental
and physical suffocation)
would necessitate an acquaintanceship
to be established analogous
to purchase computer
components at best buy
which assemblage
of functioning moon units game plan
for this moderately agitated guy,
(which psychic state exemplified
via frenetic and jangling prose)
and impossible mission
to attempt a summarization
of once dire dilemma
back some years from the here and now.

So many issues assaulted
and beat down upon this ordinary specie
of **** Sapiens severely
undermined capability to enjoy existence.

Okay, I will try to isolate each strand
of one mishmash tapestry,
which tight weave of duress
worn like some tattered
uncomfortable trojan made
ribbed miniature overcoat.

Unsure if ye might perceive
yours truly (the writer of these words)
as did the missus consider me a "good" catch
perhaps the reply might be to go fish or fetch
p'raps calling me nuttin - just an ole letch
butta hope not to make a ya retch
this unknown older laddie
nada a suite executive by any stretch
more so a bumbling wretch.

This dollop of gobbledygook me level best
to offer a virtual brightened
and enameled then
(at time of crafting these words
gap toothed smile revealed remaining
few teeth - think
jack o lantern, now yours truly
sports full set of dentures)
after periodontal disease bacteria did infest
and whittled away jaw bones,
thus neither false pearly whites
nor misshapen physique representative
hardly the imprimatur
of a gentleman quarterly
magazine model beau geste
as you can deduce,
I like to write for fun and jest,
which some find to be a fossilized pest
and in my mind I let flit
fantasies for some ****** quest
followed by a blissful rest
once confirming my tool
passes the electric kool acid battery test,
thence prayerfully hope to regale
in such physical closeness
with zeal and zest.

We could (in our respective wet dreams)
possibly find ourselves
walking down that wedding aisle,
no matter we rank
as utter and complete strangers
and ye may misperceive me
as some old decrepit human crocodile
making a proposition to pledge our troth
when we never met
yet...the fickle finger of fate works
in a most awesome and unpredictable ways,
but please no need to feel obliged
to give a number for me to dial
unless...comfort and ease arises
to go that extra green day mile
per responding to this older mwm
with a poetic and prosaic penchant
swiftly taylored and harried styled.

So...if offered salvation of eternal life
against condemnation imposed since birth
per mortality vis a vis unfair fate so cruel
this plain speaking male suffered prepubescent
emotion null budding nipped,
and fully flowered anorexic loosestrife
would be game to allow, enable, and provide
the grim reaper
to take monopoly of mein kampf
and to take a chance well worth
and take at least one sip
from fountain of youth and duel
with divine creator a greater match
than my darling wife,
who did not deserve just desserts
administered, doled, heaved out to her
as undeserved mistreatment.

No emerald, ruby sapphire nor flash in the pan
could ever sway me away from living a short span
that would allow and offer at least a millennium
I know such a garden of eden
solely in thy imagination of this ordinary man.

I, (an articulative, contemplative,
non manipulative and speculative
married celibate, friendly,
circumspective, introspective, respective
barbarian Neanderthal, disestablishmentarian,
latitudinarian, proletarian, sexagenarian,
solitudinarian, utilitarian,
and Unitarian married male)
try to make crystal clear
my unswerving, and unvarying pursuit
for life, liberty and a platonic relationship
with acceptable, affable, amiable, available,
bankable, cherishable, compassionable, creditable
demonstrable, endurable, enjoyable, equitable
fashionable, favorable, formidable, honourable,
impregnable, indomitable, ineradicable, inimitable
for starters general type of women agreeable to me.

I hate to entertain lofty delusions
or illusions of glandular grandeur
but one night stands never appealed
to this above average, boyish looking individual,
even when I lived far from the madding crowd
as a Norwegian bachelor farmer in Lake Woebegone.

Living social in pseudo wedded bliss,
those tempestuous altercations I do not miss.

Elysian fields long since embraced dada's soul
which rocketed into aerospace
(courtesy General Electric satellite)
just a tad shy of
fifty four plus months ago,
nevertheless melancholia
still plucks mine heart strings.

Mine psyche still situated awry
placid countenance of yours truly doth belie
residual sadness easily prompted
can easily trigger me to cry
linkedin when grim reaper gloated
October 7th, 2020
ye did somewhat peacefully die
though methinks immortality
I did briefly espy,

when miracles of modern medicine
tried, but could not
stave off mortality nor fortify
depredations of aging concerning
one wunderkind whose accomplishments
laudatory when a young handsome guy,
whose intelligence scored high
native talent aptitude tests did imply.

The late Boyce Brandon Harris
exhibited prolific talents at young age
aside being scholastically gifted,
acquiring graduate degree
courtesy Columbia University,
freshly minted mechanical engineer
(he admirably ranked within
uppermost percentile academically),
I hashtag thy mine deceased father
(a polymath - jack-of-all-trades),
who possessed (née excelled)
at diverse creative abilities.

Aside from being schooled
as mechanical engineer,
(which courses in mathematics and science
he passed with flying colors)
his mind genetically bequeathed
to craft almost anything under the sun
evidenced first by yours truly,
the second offspring and sole son
who ofttimes felt intimidated
at being in presence
of said Renaissance man.

Handicrafts included
expending blood, sweat, and tears
to craft multitude of projects;
i. building me Flintstone (foot powered)
car with wooden license plate.
ii. making playhouse for all three
of us - his progeny.
iii. amassing wood pile(s),
to stoke wood burning stoves
iv. designing Zayda trail for Teddy and Ruff
(two doggone mixed breed Border Collies
rescued courtesy youngest sister
at her Jacobsburg, Pennsylvania work site)
v. constructing sauna in cellar,

vi. etching, detailing (ala fresco),
vii. plus trimming living room ceiling,
viii. shingling (while fiddling) on the roof,
ix. tiling the kitchen floor,
x. building a cistern for brethren,
xi. wood paneling many rooms,
xii. building custom made toy chest,
xiii. stringing up lights to increase visibility
driveway lit like Christmas tree after dark,
xiv. partly assembled a kayak,
xv. retooling - enhancing porch
(formerly slate covered),
where Morris dancers performed
at wedding for eldest sister.
xvi. Helping, née completing
homework/school assignments.

Unlike him who did beget me
I experienced cognitive challenges
that beset one painfully shy
and severely introverted male
more to the point
as a lad and mediocre student to boot
promotion to next highest grade
occurred just by the skin of my teeth,
which may help to explain
why I wear dentures,
oh... these choppers worn for about
one fourth of mein kampf livingsocial.

A sense of inadequacy prevailed,
when absolute zero self esteem
strikingly and suddenly manifested
in tandem when parents moved
their young tender family within
Lower Providence School District,
but into a larger house
initially summer estate constituted
about one hundred acres of woodland -
named Glen Elm
think Winnie the Pooh -
house at Pooh corner.

Not quite two score plus ten years
spent livingsocial at 324 Level Road
(above mentioned abode alluded),
and twas there majority
mine existential highs and lows,
where nadir of mein kampf transpired,
I emotionally hit rock bottom
upon onset of prepubescence
yet major event triggering
mine major depression
set in motion,
when parents chose February 28th, 1968
to move out of shoddily constructed domicile
located on Lantern Lane.

As shared with Renee Cardone
(the therapist whose virtual sessions
linkedin courtesy Doxy.me portal -
similar to Zoom),
and today April 9th, 2025
said topic broached
with Alyne Hall, LCSW
a social worker
based in Elizabethtown, PA
that aforementioned date
marked a turning point
after which time, I floundered
experiencing irrevocable mental health issues
punctuating my psychological equilibrium
with chronic distress,
though I forgive father and mother,
who unwittingly made decision to move
and unbeknownst to them
set in motion and moderately contributed
to careering emotional rupture.

She, the brainchild of Rohit Prasad -
India-born person who breathed life
into Alexa, and lead technology side
of project almost from its inception.

Amazon Alexa Echo
a marvel of voice activation technology,
(reportedly voiced by Nina Rolle,
a voice actress and singer
based in Boulder, Colorado,
though neither Amazon
nor Rolle officially
confirmed nor denied rumor).

Aforementioned electrical engineer
recognized as being a key figure
leading the technology side of the project
and the AI that powers it,
along with his colleague Tony Reid.

Yours truly welcomes with bated breath
yet to be designed technological
electronic marvels making
yesteryear's futuristic technological inventions
appear laughably quaint.

Courtesy a fellow tenant
we (the missus and me befriended)
gifted an Amazon Echo.

Rather than enrich the coffers of Jeff Bezos
(paying five dollars a month
for commercial free listening),
we (the missus and myself)
clearly enunciate "Alexa off"
when product or service plugged,
and like an obedient quasi robot,
she shuts herself off
after being screamed at
until me blue in the face
(methinks she snubs authority)
indicated courtesy
snapping, crackling and popping sounds
plus a ring of fiery light
flashing an expletive
that necessitates off afterwards.

Ah...I just love
the latest in modern technology,
especially entrepreneurs
who dream up
out of this webbed wide world gizmos
sporting the latest capacities
in artificial intelligence
that boggle the mind.

At some point in time,
what appeared as futuristic yesterday
will become the everyday
humdrum reality of today,
whereby sophisticated machines
(smarter than their inventors)
will serve as prairie home companions
(emulating Norwegian bachelor farmers
for eligible bachelorettes)
performing much of the labor
(such as making powder milk biscuits
giving shy people
the necessary courage)
and be heavily involved
and outright aggressive
incorporating significant decision making
within the military intelligence complex
essentially rewriting the rules
not only applicable to mortal Kombat,
but also taking charge
of the levers of power
and consigning population at large
to rough and tumble
modus operandi of survival,
whereby fearsome ******
foo fighting gangs (from Battle Creek)
******* the infrastructure
and enslave those who trumpet
and/or advance progressive policies
(read Democratically liberal tenets)
to chain gangs subjected
to backbreaking labor
from sunup to sundown.

Those who attempted
to escape the torturous existence
only found themselves
condemned to a fate
worse than death, albeit
getting caught cheating by the wife.

Ofttimes, I nearly find myself choking,
and frantically beck-kin
for immediate intervention in vain,
and my time is a piece of wax
falling on a termite
that's choking on the splinters...
analogous to swallowing a vitamin
that gets stuck in my throat
and the story of mein kampf
flashes before myopic eyes
of mine, and suddenly panic
ensues jump/kick starting an
immediate repentance of all
misdeeds perpetrated since...
birth, particularly when emerging
out chrysalis of boyhood to young
adulthood becoming aware
how yours truly affected
those people who came
in contact with me,
whether directly or indirectly,
acquaintances, family, friends,
strangers, et cetera, even women,
who text and sext me
thru Facebook Messenger,
whereat my accidental and untimely death
linkedin to foreign body airway obstruction (FBAO)
after swallowing one of countless
over the counter vitamins
ironically in an attempt to stave off
contracting a contagious mortal illness,
cuz I wanted to live a healthy life
at least reaching the bicentenarian milestone
regaling younger generations
before mine instantaneous,
horrendous, grievous and frivolous
exit stage door left,
(one signature catchphrase
the ghost of Snagglepuss would envy),
whereat next of kin
found lifeless body
of Matthew Scott Harris
gratefully dead no longer truckin
from a most horrid demise,
not even Saving Private
Ryan Grace could resuscitate,
on the plus side,
he avoided fallout linkedin
after three Musk kit tears
trumpeted MAGA nuff fa cent
complements of Project 2025,
which manifesto asphyxiated
and practically snuffed out life,
liberty and the pursuit of happiness
for better or worse,
(and from this point,
the poem takes on a life of its own)
deleterious ***** deeds done dirt cheap
courtesy the forty seventh president,
(whose name cannot be uttered
in polite society
lest bringing about misfortune),
yet whose administration imperiled
bedrock of democracy,
which manifesto asphyxiated
and practically snuffed out life,
liberty and the pursuit of happiness
for better or worse,
thankfully I escaped webbed
wide global depredations
by dint of unexpected series
of unfortunate events
courtesy being defeated
videlicet grim reaper,
whereby the coroner averred
the deceased succumbed
to a rather torturous demise
before the end of the world as we know it
leaving two grown daughters
and a wife, (whom he wed July 1996)
and lived happily ever after
yeah right - in his whet dreams
banging on the doors
qua openings or access points
to this collective psychic realm
housing Spiritus Mundi
to be welcomed into the realm.

Therefore karma caught up to me big time
and delivered yours truly sent to purgatory
(figurative speaking) by casting a spell,
whereby the government issued Safelink
Tracfone got permanently disabled
and all the data
(including contact information
such as risqué photographs
of seductively posing nymphs
linkedin to Facebook Messenger)
stored therein forever inaccessible.

I did not pass GO,
nor collect two hundred dollars
but went straight to spiritual jail
after being warned countless times
(particularly courtesy the wife),
that husband of hers would pay
for texting and sexting with females
young enough to be his daughter.

No matter infrequently did I divulge
and/or countenance communicating
to females thru Facebook Messenger,
those few honest confessions found
the wife brushing her index finger of
dominant hand against index finger
of recessive hand uttering tsk tsk tsk...

Upon speaking over an alternate cell phone
to a Safelink representative, I got told
that NO replacement
for model Samsung Galaxy J3 Orbit -
the type I got sent a couple years ago -
NOT feasible because
the warrant time frame elapsed.

Aforesaid accursed misfortune of mine
would without a shadow of a doubt
(unlike the shadow
of Punxsutawney Phil
on February second
id est Groundhog day)
find the wife gleeful,
but (praised be dog),
I never admitted culpability
secretly painstakingly keying
unfulfilled romantic whims
inadvertently sabotaged
throughout those precious years
of puberty to emerging adulthood.

Quite frankly, I felt relieved
above mentioned cell phone got zapped
because after sharing preliminary questions
(more so about me
versus other communicant
on receiving end
telling nothing about herself -
with the exception of asking for money) -
an intimation clearly broached
to strategize about a rendezvous
with each other, no matter
original primary intent of mine
merely to plumb the depths
of a platonic relationship.

Lucky destiny intervened
in a timely fashion because
about a dozen
(***** deeds done dirt cheap)
years ago the writer of these words
met acrimonious, combustious, egregious,...
malicious, and opprobrious fallout
awakening our then two tween-age daughters
forever experiencing sundered dynamic
when he (their birth father)
nonchalantly drove home
from West Philadelphia
after visiting a woman of color
returning back to the then dwelling
at 724 West Railroad Avenue
in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania)
after the bewitching hour.

The sh*t hit the fan
and the spouse
analogous to a kamikaze pilot
zeroed in and drove brickbats
upon behavior of mine, appalling and base
and around the Mulberry bush did she chase
the monkey chased the weasel,
until she caught and verbally throttled
he who betrayed covenant vouchsafed
making a mockery of vows
with amazing disgrace
a major faux pas I can never erase
forever envisioning culprit
standing stockstill totally shamed
while she spewed
venomous bile back in my face.

The long story short,
she (the wife not ordinarily
a forgiving person)
did accept her
(once revered knight in shining armor),
yet never lost an opportunity
to hurl blackened barbs
as a subtle reminder to steer free and clear
of verboten fruit,
and as passive retribution
against further secrete liaisons  
I took a silent vow to be chaste.

Though more difficult
to thread a camel thru the eye of a needle
which creature invites one definition of ****,
now overactive imagination of mine
presents sexually evocative disjointed poem
crafted some years in the past
which following example
many or most readers would claim
adds injury to insult,
nevertheless fantasy appeases animal
call of the wild
to envision whim to attain foreplay,
and subsequent gambol
elicits sought after outcome
after fruit of the **** linkedin
to nurse ******* penult.

Mebbe thru da world wide web
dis Yahoo of a Verizon hotmail lives
earth linked lad kin wed
this aol (owl) lush
former Norwegian bachelor    
turning his married charade role alot
boot strong quaking testosterone
sans axon and neuron surges
thru this protoplasmic blot
closely resembles malignant blood clot
although just an infinitesimal dot
in cosmic skein since big bang hot
that birthed our universe
from microcosmic jot
best in webbed wide world
event in the cosmos
since invention of white bread -
gives empty calories a lot
soak up syrup
from chicken soup in a ***
followed and/or proceeded
by yar sweet kumquat
ex are size zing ma little **** tate tour
afore atrophy doth bring ****** rot
strongly suggested by this tartan
non-tweed wearing scott
who seeketh mare ring type woman
hoofing to trot
******* without shrieking WHAT!

The usual routine
t'will most likely
find me fantasizing
while this knight lies at night in bed
gets me little pawn feisty cred
with celibate life I dread
wonder if this smallish bore ring shaft
with smallish helmet head
will go sliding and slipping
like on well lubricated sled
and experience once again
when genital yar ***** will wed.

Matthew Scott (a mwm)
can hard lee await
to let each of us master bate
the other per ****** to create
as the first of many a date
whereby his ***** ***** will *******
into fecund field of whet dreams
*** with ongoing joyful fate
p'raps as friends, lovers
or e'en a temporary ****** mate.

although nada mooch bigger
than a cereal box toy
if ya wanna romp
with ma male member -
an imp for carnal ploy
which ******* would give me joy
to drop me drawers lay anchor ahoy
perhaps with a phone number
for this gentile goy
who enjoys foreplay
playing being faux coy
no matter this mortal happens
to be a sixty + six year
young looking boy,
who would love
to lay his little leaping lemur  
till anchor drops softly
in your mossy cove
and heart softly murmurs.

froom - Scott Matthews
a bar **** froom  perky yo' man
hoops poetic ant ticks woos
and alight with desire froom heads to toes
middle man appurtenance elongates
like a little ******
after a successful day
gone fishing he glows.

within mine marriage,
and all the ramifications
that happen therefrom
courtesy the social media platform
of Facebook Messenger,
wherein those subscribing
to an orthodox dogma
may consider said website infernal
(even more despicable
then once upon a time
Old Rotten Gotham
sliding down into the behavioral sink),
where sirens wail their plaintive call
seductively luring and captivating
(courtesy their cam girl schtick)
yours truly just another netizen,
(albeit a married Caucasian fellow)
merely seeking platonic relationship,
but nevertheless drawn
into placid tranquil Elysian fields
compliments of ambrosian aphrodisiac.

Impossible mission to consummate
illicit liaison with female(s)
young enough to be my daughter
unless I rent asunder vouchsafed bonds,
when troth got pledged,
(nearly spanning my half-life ago)
inconsolably bawling
for the first year of mein kampf
after exiting the birth canal
as a scrawny newborn sixty six years ago
January thirteenth
two thousand and twenty five.

Shame on me flaunting availability, carnality,
faux fidelity, juvenility,
obtainability, and unmorality
linkedin to unmet socialization
when a pubescent lad
essentially stunting healthy development
of body, mind and spirit,
while writhing with psychological agony
thwarting puberty every inch of the way
(because I wanted to remain a little boy),
hence no surprise self deprivation
of vital healthy biological development
witnessed devastating lifelong sabotage
undermining natural manifestation
of body, mind and spirit of life
from boyhood to manhood
recklessly endangering himself,
though he committed no crime per-se
starving himself to death
upended predestined kindled flux
about a dozen years prior,
when spermatozoa gamete
chanced to witness fertilization
nowadays primarily courtesy
breakthru technological wizardry
utilizing high-resolution microscopes
with specialized cameras used,
often in conjunction
with micromanipulation tools,
for procedures like ICSI
(intracytoplasmic morphology ***** injection)
and IMSI (Intracytoplasmic
Morphologically Selected ***** Injection),
which reproductive medicine
giving hope to those
experiencing challenges conceiving offspring.

Unintentional quirk of circumstances
found me texting and sexting young women
compliments Facebook Messenger
after acknowledging receipt of friend requests
unbeknownst such
nonchalant click of the mouse
would usher temptation
of the verboten flesh
(off limits after yours truly
promised to uphold sacred vows
not quite thirty years ago),
I claim the lame excuse
to compensate for forsaken opportunities.  

Analogous to someone starved
for one of Abraham Maslow's physiological needs
late childhood/early tween age hood
of mein kampf peppered
with absent necessary emotional,
physical, mental and spiritual growth,
which deprivation partially explains the reason
(without any rhyme or feathers) why the writer
of these words experiences giddiness
when veritable unknown females
(who congregate in cyberspace)
unwittingly boost my ego
paying me compliments
on my non-photogenic likenesses
or various and sundry autodidactic,
cryptic, dogmatic, fantastic, grammatic,
poetic nuggets of wisdom
from an altitudinarian, doctrinarian,
platitudinarian sexagenarian, and solitudinarian.

courtesy ******* minus preemptive measures
while plugg naughty bits of tarnished knight
while he took tea and crumpets within mistress's boudoir

The following verses typed out some years ago,
but equally pertinent and relevant to the ebb and flow
of my life today, and as ye become familiar with me
time and tide will tell lo'
more to thee just ask me and I (a letterman) will show.

After viewing Netflix
documentary life after death
portraying instances
where subject(s) pronounced
courtesy words one rapt listener
doth most fearfully dread
according to metrics
regarding absent heartbeat
and absolute zero brain activity,
yet after span of countless minutes
came back into the realm of consciousness
methinks mebbe mourning one grateful dead
premature ******* er utterance
superfluous and no longer acceptable

analogous to gasoline without lead
or also on par with emotional immaturity
still leaving psychological repercussions
bombarding the inside of mein head
admittance being immature
since taught me delicate
diplomacy of relationships
which deprivation of healthy
linkedin heterosexual rapport bred
hunger to appease libidinal longings
tugging, pulsating, jumpstarting the *****.

Nsync with variations on said theme:
various and sundry
pseudo lurid fictitious escapades
reduced as common ****** meme
mostly I did merrily wet
whet aye ever did dream.)

The missus personal trappings
strewn helter skelter
every perilous step fraught
with danger analogous
riding as passenger
with death cab for cutie
'course thy Queen
of denial feigns ignorance
attributes hazardous condition
linkedin with accident prone
little Lord Fauntleroy's
double doppelganger, me
trumpeting pet husband,
her unrequited germane Liebchen
willing to risk life and limb
doting hand and foot
as proper husbandly duties.

He (ahem... me) exhibits drama
whimsically visiting slapstick pantomime
especially pretending to remove sneakers
pulling with all my feeble strength
off little feet of wife
half-heartedly struggling,
lamely denouncing marriage
nevertheless conveying jollity
regarding marital entrapment
er... rather unbridled wedded bliss
constituting fits and starts enduring
about two dozen years.

I reciprocated amorousness,
whether toward MaryAnne,
(his long ago coldly dismissed
sagacious enchanting first paramour,
(half a dozen years my senior),
whose astrological forecast
accurately predicted promising
acquaintanceship/relationship
potential soul mates
(approximately two plus four score years ago -
gone to naught),
which latter aforementioned humble lass

decried he fomented
incessant emotional grief,
he cruelly (albeit unwittingly)
doled out nothing
but lackluster lovelessness
attributed to identical
zodiac signs (Capricorn)
(matter of fact shared same birth date
January 13th - six years age difference)
stubborn misconstrued perception,
whereby fancy free and footloose
selfish nasty short brute nevertheless
deemed himself loutish
undeserving of love - humph!

Addeneum: Approximately four decades
re: one quarter century after
aforementioned baptismal initiation
love stricken  paroxysm
forty fifth president of United States
took (i.e. plagiarized) many pages courtesy,
cruel playbook authored
by fella pseudonym self named Jane A. Rug,
who left trail of heartbroken sage woman
commander in chief deliberately stoked,
née sparked long
simmering smoldering, and stewing
long festering white supremacist altercation
fiendishly igniting racial conflagration
exploding during late spring 2020.

No matter no child left behind kibitzing
(yours truly as boy plucked petals
off daisy reciting "she loves me,"
"she loves me not"...
cupid loosed an arrow
into boyhood neighborhood sweetheart
she innocently bespoke
"I wanna marry you,"
when uttered courtesy Sherry Jones,
a little girl who lived
approximately three doors down
along cul-de-sac within Apple Valley

perpendicular to Lantern Lane,
or more age apropos,
when young gallivanting
purported vestal ****** ladies
nonverbally signalled
libidinal proclamations of emancipation,
as demurely expressed
lest unlucky (chaste into)
precocious ******* proclivity
suffered the punishment
of being buried alive.

Now back to present day,
when our old geezer,
the prototype garden variety
male of present poem -
any resemblance between general referenced
fella and living persons purely coincidental.

He (yours truly) easily qualified as
overly cocky whippersnapper,
i.e. young buck and/or Casanova wannabe
experienced bit torrent
hormonal secretions gushed
particularly in close proximity
wherein wafted pheromones -
think a waif faring ingénue.

As evident and quite obvious,
I fabricate (prevaricating
my signature trademark)
rather than stating bland reality stark,
yet will plainly explain issue
in summary essential rhyme
without reason constitutes
nothing more spectacular than
garden variety generic pockmark
excised pustule ofttimes hallmark
of teenage/ pubescent pimply benchmark.

Earlier today March 28th, 2025
(thee hour now fifteen minutes
after eight o'clock at night, cuz
yours truly & wife paced back
and forth from one room to the
other wearing out rugged groovy
Tuesday (three day) experienced exhaustion
within anticipatory anxiety
while feeling foreboding regarding
impending inspection courtesy
funding source for low income
rental community R(ural)
H(ousing) D(evelopment)
facility named Highland Manor
Apartments allowing, enabling,
& providing safety and security
away from elements harried
styled and swiftly tailored Mother
Nature poised to strike
indiscriminately across Perkiomen
Valley (though this geographic area
rarely if ever experienced
extreme weather phenomenon),
yet occasionally bam wham
thank you ma'am solid punch
evidenced nevertheless no likelihood
divine intervention would intercede
to disrupt yearly the plan for RHD
to take lock, stock and barrel of
property at 2 Highland Manor Drive,
whereat many tenants experienced
high anxiety nervously awaiting
the verdict concerning apparent
violations which would necessitate
immediate actions incumbent upon
management company known as
Grosse and Quade subsequently
affecting spike in rent beyond
the pale of affordability after costs
of repair calculated into the mix
courtesy officials prowling around &
scrutinizing soundness of building,
once upon a time former elementary
school in borough named for George
Schwenk, born and died (1728 -1803)
respectively locally famous and noted
worthily essential man whose mettle
constituted being adept as tradesman,
crafting and repairing metal objects,
from household items & tools to
farm equipment & even weapons,
using a forge & anvil to shape heated
iron, thus recognized as an inimitable
blacksmith, whose son Jacob served
in the Revolutionary War under George
Washington, hence name Schwenksville,
Pennsylvania no longer an isolated
hamlet bleeds into adjacent communities
where said building I live chock a block
with vinyl city, where affordable housing
necessarily requires ordinances & property
inspectors de jure enforcing, mandating,
& yielding de rigueur to arbitrary (usually
yearly) scrutiny of about a half dozen
randomly chosen units within Highland
Manor Apartments to ascertain tenants
deemed and maintained their assigned
units in accordance with standards as
outlined in the lease, which severe
disinclination to abide by coda could
constitute legitimate violation & reason
to be forewarned than after given so
much time to shape up or ship out,
which crises nearly found ourselves
(yours truly & the misses) with no figurative
(and literal) roof over our heads, and
forced to ******* himself as rhetoric
the great or panhandle as local
historical buff displaying wares of "Lenni
Lenape," (which means "original people"
or "real people" in the Lenape language,
though said indigenous natives also known
as the Delaware, a name given by European)
particularly their kitchen middens whose
ghosts invariably haunt these regions grist,
for the mill of one story teller with overactive
imagination expounding on how one desperate
wordsmith wannabe or spouse sold their souls
to the devil, which action if successful would
which set in motion a vicious cycle necessitating
them to sell other parts of their body namely
major organs until they slowly but surely became
incorporeal beings able, eager, ready,
& willing to roam hither & yon, to and fro
across the webbed, wide world with few
if any obstacles in our way, whereat
nothing will thwart our collective endeavors
to sustain being linkedin to the air supply
eventually becoming absorbed into the ether
real medium encompassing the infinite
eternal cosmos, but interestingly enough
as the hours lapsed into late afternoon
especially when time approached
seventeen hundred hour myself & the spouse
dared the other to even whisper how
the fickle finger of fate showed a thumbs up
that no Mötley Crüe would appear
as the Iron Maiden de jure subjecting
ourselves on the receiving end of Poison,
thus dazed and confused as a Led Zeppelin
aimlessly spinning around like a whirling dervish,
who got stopped in his/her tracks to blink 182 times
plus me and the wife pinching ourselves &
the other to reckon eyes (usually subjected
to adversity since each of us got born) free
& clear of major catastrophe by a hair's breadth,
nevertheless feeling defeated living life struggling
with money woes & impossible mission for me
to eradicate indebtedness to this,
that or some other collection
agency no surprise ratcheting up frequency
when the purpose driven life ofttimes reaching
the tipping point where the grim reaper extended
a bony hand welcoming chemical romance videre licet
an accidental overdose of Fluoxetine elucidating
suicidal ideation as modus operandi to escape
(as a permanent solution)
the travails of penuriousness
still prevail at twenty two hundred hours
and never to late too send out an electronic sos for munificence.

Warning: The following material no worse than getting cooties. I remember them way back in grade school, whereat everyone ran away from me with worse luck than Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie, who kissed the girls and made them cry, when the girls came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away.

My humblest apology
if the following account
doth gross thee out
forlorn childhood of mine,
but remembrance of things
past icky and sticky
bumper crop of divine
nose diving delectable
diamonds secreted by
the mucous membranes
of the respiratory
passages, especially when
produced in excessive
or abnormal quantities,
e.g., when someone
is suffering from a cold
found further ostracization
of me tantamount
being shipped off
to a leprosarium.

As a chronic gold digger
in early grade school,
specifically within nasal passages,
I excelled at
locating awesome gooey gems.

The pinky seemed
most opportune for
button nose of mine as most
convenient handy dandy
blue's clues implement
to mine for juicy
succulent wads of yuck.

Early academic ex: pear
re: ants helped refine
delicate art of reaching
pitch perfect snot.

This individual craft essentially
entails extensive dexterity
in conjunction with
recognizing ideal picking time.

If one plunges
the little finger prematurely,
nothing but a glob
of **** will dribble out.

Best to wait until rock
hard sensation felt
when applying pressure to
either nostril.

The consistency of rock candy the
best analogy for this
other than tasteful habit
instinctively learned when
being housed in the womb.

Upon birth one
or more phalanges often
solidly locked where mucus generated.

This common medical
condition frequently requires
delicate intervention
(usually minor surgery)
to separate glued
gummy intertwined proboscis
from fleshy mitts.

As a natural born miner for
the most moist
and choice septum byproduct,
this lad as one gangly
whipper snapper mastered
the art of sifting
thru the sinus cavity to extricate
boulder sized buggies
wrote the book on the
ole factory chews.

Unlike many other young
children who fancied
this fun hunt for miniature crusty
crab cakes like formations
as delectable treats,
this grown man
when a little boy chose
to paste them on under
side of his desk.

No particular strategy for affix
sing goop upon
the underneath section of old
fashion unit (whereby
the top opened up and
provided a dish like formation
to store materials)
motivated this daily
cultivating for ripe buggies.

Within very few months,
the front most section
became quite thick
with wads of buggies that
quickly hardened into
scaly coating displeasing
even to my
high tolerance for gross.

Since no preliminary
measure for measure
took place to map out
where to place
the collection of daily glob,
inevitable contact took place
with aging dried
buggies that felt
like molting shells of insects.

Nightmares eventually
took place incorporating
this scary goblin
like creature (usually dripping
lugi with mossy slime),
which sought out his
insatiable hunger for buggies.

In these dreams,
I tended to be honored
with razor sharp fangs
and dagger type fingernails.

The latter came
in particular service
to probe my pinocchio-
sized smeller with
amazing ease to scrape
practically to the brain
(and perhaps some
grey matter did
get unintentionally removed)
to appease the buggy monster.

Soon after wake
king up in a start
from this nightmare (when
outsize still pitchblack),
a blurry image seemed
to dart away
leaving soggy footprints
closely resembling phlegm!

found himself bewitched about Circe,
particularly after reading book title by the same name.

An enchantress and a minor goddess
in ancient Greek mythology and religion
depicted as living on the island of Aeaea
(pronounced "ee-EE-uh"),
the daughter of the sun god Helios
and the Oceanid nymph Perse
Circe renowned for her vast knowledge
of potions and herbs
unwittingly cast her magic
across millenniums of space and time,
whose fictitious existence spanned
during the Bronze Age
and the Greek Heroic Age,
which roughly corresponds
to the period of the Trojan War
and Odysseus's journey home
courtesy Madeline Miller
an American novelist,
author of The Song of Achilles and Circe,
who spent ten years writing
The Song of Achilles
while she worked as a teacher
of Latin and Greek.

After reading the first hundred pages
of aforementioned well written novel,
(a riddle wrapped
in a mystery inside an enigma -
In an October 1939 radio speech,
Winston Churchill used this phrase
to describe a situation
difficult to comprehend,
when he analyzed the early events
of the second war to end all wars),
yours truly experienced
increased familiarity towards Circe,
which inadvertently brought admiration
and eventual infatuation - ha
to said subject matter at hand
compliments aforesaid
forty six year young autheress
weaned on the classics as a little girl
courtesy her mother,
(who shares the same first name)
a librarian, started reading her
The Iliad at five years old
and she started learning Latin at eleven,
hence no surprise the daughter
started writing her first novel,
The Song of Achilles,
during the final year of her bachelor's
after co-directing a production
of Troilus and Cressida.
Most of my life of threescore and six years
found me a **** poor bloke transfixed
with reading about
femme fatale fictional personas in general,
and Circe in particular,
whom yours truly
found himself besotted with
because of her intriguing charisma
and found himself pretending
to wine and dine
said figment of Grecian imagination
à la suit of lovers such as
Telemachus, Hermes,
and most significant
life changing relationship Odysseus.

Short of cash
since becoming aware
of the importance of money
(particularly the lack thereof
of said currency),
I lucked out being a Guinea Pig
to test run the latest iteration
of time machine technology
and willingly accepted the opportunity
to volunteer myself
aware that any number of quirks
could find me stranded
somewhere in time
cue The 18th variation
of Sergei Rachmaninoff's
"Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini"
never to return to the present moment
(March Madness 2025)
before circumstances
leisurely cruising thru cyberspace
texting one of the countless friends
I met courtesy social media platforms
until accursed ill-fate
found me experiencing
a series of unfortunate events.

After an instantaneous
indeterminable interval
of fleeting seconds or minutes,
a blinding flash indicated
that space-age contrivance
approached speed of light,
which pure energy form
accompanied with surrealistic kaleidoscope
of brilliant and spectacular colors,
which virtual phenomena
analogous to a rave party
typically featuring
electronic dance music (EDM),
with other genres like house, techno,
trance, drum and bass,
and dubstep being common choices
quite visible even with protective gear
donned over entire talking heads.
Unfortunately due
to some ghost in the machine,
a mechanical breakdown
within the Elon Musk
made contrivance
where time travel
to classical Greece
original objective in general
and experiencing firsthand
the invisible presence of Circe in particular
found the airy mission
thwarted (possibly a conspiracy linkedin
with John Wilkes Booth)
to pre antebellum America instead
birthing the following snippet
from a more lengthy vignette.

Nothing unusual, but
please pardon my lack of ability
to communicate in a clear and concise fashion.
The heat from summer like temperature-
induced drowsiness, which effort
to keep eyelids opened
tantamount to a futile effort.

So this fellow relented to visit
Doctor Mehmet Ozzy Osbourne land
during his Black Sabbath.

Thus mere moments ago,
while adrift in deep,
profound and tranquil sleep
(which seemed to encompass
more than the usual
one hour or so dog gone cat nap)
an undetectable transformation
quietly, softly, and subtly
jettisoned me from the here and now
to the flux of events
awash mid eighteen hundreds America.

Prior to waking
from hypnotic, trancelike state
(populated with exquisite
redolent viz psychedelic furs dreams
nearly true to realistic personages)
held me spellbound.

Akin to a frictionless,
gliding locomotion mechanism
(safely and securely
transporting human cargo
known as Matthew Scott beyond present)
ferried me across corridors,
labyrinths and passageways
countless decades ago,
I absorbed the ambient
mind-set, beliefs, creeds, ethos,
gentility, integrity, morality,
nuanced opinions, political thought-processes,
vices and virtues
of progressive think
men and women,
for their time,
who accident of fate
writ (unbeknownst to them)
their incomplete biographies
cradle to grave scores of years ago.

of diverse and sundry sizes engaged
in woebegone wild rumpus
as a last hoorah
for diversity, equity and inclusion,
whose somber bowed heads
(hide their snickers
just a kiss away)
their backsides mimicked
tufted heavenly clouds
interspersed amidst with imaginary fallen angels
softly chanting profane funereal requiem,
where a former
warren of dust bunnies galore
met their ill fate getting vacuumed
hashtagged as sinners
in the hands of an angry dog.

Twas (NOT the night before Christmas),
nevertheless bright idea lit up the eyes
of zee missus Clause
(she got known far and wide
as an impractical joker)
poised to strike
at the least opportune moment
while donning das skies
of a ******* centerfold
within the erogenous penalty zone
took a page from Ursa (la) Major.

Hens forth aye dedicate and air
this poem for self aggrandisement,
thus trumpet and blare
to acknowledge this mister
and asking thee
to please support me courtesy
mailing a blank check
to Matthew Scott Harris,
I kid thee not dear reader
with ewe nanny muss cowabunga
names of barnstorming farm animals
buck cause I sheep push lee duck clear
to promote worthwhile secular humanist
(Billy me), one beatle browed, foo fighting
nirvana seeking enigmatic, kinetic,
romantic, and zoetic yahoo who dons guise  
pulling wool over your eyes.

Before birth of our progeny
yours truly (me) addressed said spouse
"my little buttock blaster" endearment -
for obvious reasons,
and before she begat two 'ere
rip press able deux lovely daughters,
anyway thee wife I fear
to publicize contracted a benign
strain sans incurable glare
ring housecleaning malady,
(thus far no unpronounceable hair
raising name affixed
to non contagious plight, nonetheless
accursed obsessive/compulsive malady,
whereby to keep from appearing
on Hoarding: Buried Alive at bay,
she applies elbow grease
scrubbing stubborn stains
from clothes, dishes,
getting down on all fours
with the help of scrub daddy
and consolidates tchotchkes
to make room,
when gamut of hibernating
Ursine horde (nee Mötley Crüe)
come breathing alive with the sound of music
Nsync chron eyes with beastie boys,
Bay City Rollers
culture clubbing babes
upon first spring day
engrossed in this, that,
or some other sweeping floor foray.

Endless task to “keep house,”
especially cuz rural housing development inspector(s)
(scheduled of March twenty eighth)
intend to grade our apartment against any violation
checking every square inch for tell tale signs
of abhorrent sight for sore eyes
such as manifestations of sizable tufts of dust
analogous to Velveteen Rabbit
shedding gray winter coat
when warmer temperatures arrive,
where humongous fur clumps would lay
comprising sudden empty raft
of shelf space minus a may
zing globules, oh...lemme get on track,
whence frenzied fever
"cleaning bug" nee
major virus afflicting wife,
would necessitate impossible task
strapping, pinteresting, and kickstarting
former feisty Norwegian farm gal
a force to reckon with
even in a straight jacket
would hardly deter native talent
to create chaos in her wake
inviting ecosystems of critters
who ordinarily she doth thrive within slovenly
unkempt environment analogous to pigsty
would be to her analogous child's game to play
boot tiring and cruel task to pick up after her
Yukon say 24/7 daily challenge for yours truly
the husband to experience despair
lest we receive eviction warning,
impossible mission to locate
an affordable accommodating
renting a U-Haul to move out,
which unpredictable eventuality  
defies ample time frame
to shape up or ship out
thine remaining lifetime
wedded to wife oy vey
would frank lee zap
every last efficient
excellent employee “oompa loompa”
specifically to the small,
orange-skinned people
who work in
***** Wonka's chocolate factory
in Roald Dahl's Charlie
and the Chocolate Factory.

Ultimate challenge constitutes
weathering blistering retorts
for remaining years
of married life with same spouse
in response to constructive criticism
like a nattering nabob of nativity
buzzfeeding, lamenting and testifying
to the omnipotent power at large
who hopefully can affect and infect
the wife with “house beautiful” syndrome.

at 5:01 AM in Northern Hemisphere
out of hibernation,
sans mancave, I will climb
eastern standard time,
when calendrical, celestial,
and chronological prime
airy factors mark
onset of temperate clime
mitt, also coincides with
'super worm equinox moon,'
to this Earthling, would appear
no larger than a dime

though ironically enough,
said satellite of Earth
closest to this oblate spheroid
whatever esoteric tidbit may be worth,
yet unwittingly inviting once in a
blue cheese moon opportunity
to espy with naked eye lunar dearth

of life, nor feasible conditions
warrant sear - ching colonizing ahoy
by an adventurous space cowboy,
but perhaps convenient
launch pad to employ
entrepreneurial minded profiteers,
whether Jewish or goy
establishing other worldly
getaway to enjoy

reprieve, asper burgeoning
hardy madding crowd
populating nearly every square inch,
sans third rock from the sun, a proud
arrogant, defiant, haughty,
et cetera species predominantly cloud
ding, glomming, mucking, et cetera
exploiting courtesy manifest destiny
bajillion year old planet as if endowed
by divine creator to trumpet "FAKE"
supremacy, tis not white in my mind
declaring might equals right unbowed

credo selfishly amassing untold wealth
ideally at expense and health
of every others by fiat, force and stealth
consigning subjects to slavery
in an effort to rule global commonwealth,

which self centered
aggrandizement that ball
(pockmarks most visible hall
of the moon tin king)
did not return my call
and thoroughly explains
without rhyme and reason
why what appears as face on lunar surface
actually migrants of Stonehenge vestial wall.

No burlesque across the globe
upstages mother nature's emergent style
soundlessly donning and trumpeting
resplendent metaphorical pregnant Gaia,
whose all encompassing bulging robe
magnificently, albeit modestly evinces
matronly dame parading and sauntering,
she intimates readiness to give birth
regarding multitudinous flora and fauna,
whereby swath groundswell of color
and panoply of sound bursts forth.

A symphony with terrestrial
ecological community, which life forms abound
via natural laboratory qua nature,
especially at seasonal dawn of spring tide,
where multifarious existence can be found
carving out a figurative zoological niche
in a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds galore
idyllic melodic musical sound
artist palette of rainbow blended sights
assuage auditory and
visual sense pleasures respectively.

No gofundme donation required-
unless ye clamor to proffer expense
(toward fame and fortune
concerning one garden variety
long haired pencil necked geek
to regale sensational experience,
but before further lines get read
please be mindful
to take lock, stock, and barrel
of mine existential sponsor,
thus a brief plugged statement to
ɢɛȶ ʟɨʄɛʟօƈӄ ɨɖɛռȶɨȶʏ ȶɦɛʄȶ քʀ0ȶɛƈȶɨ0ռ ʄ0ʀ ʟɛֆֆ.

LifeLock by Norton was an American software company active from 2005 to 2017, and was best known for its eponymous LifeLock identity theft prevention software, now sold by Gen Digital after the latter acquired LifeLock in 2017.

Now back to regularly scheduled program
trying to entrance ye dear reader
incorporating titanic and tectonic processes,
(albeit all natural wonders)
constituting eight ways
to build strong bodies
bred courtesy punctuated equilibrium
nudging advantages to outvie
one living thing
versus another organism.

Winter of our (collective) discontent
alleviated courtesy pagan earth goddesses
prestidigitation delivering cathartic holistic
and poetic botanical balms,
which salve (age long in the tooth)
psychological wounds.

Show stopping stunning performance
stills lovers embrace
long anticipating nonpareil experience,
nevertheless straining credulity
of visual and aural senses,
where collective awed pinterests
silences onlookers evoking
masterpiece rendered still life
among webbed plant and animal species.

initially crafted June twenty fifth
two thousand twenty four
affecting me to utter "oy a broch"
(pronounced ah-BROOKH)
before I cast accursed blatant spells
outright upon the head of mountebank,
whose shrewd and cunning deception
bled me dry as a sun bleached bone,
whereby self denigration and imploration
regarding immediate obliteration
of "nest egg" found me hurling vituperation
against the scoundrel,
whose art of the ruse playbook
scored psychological hit
pitching finances into dire straits
upon writer of these words,
whose monetary situation
never recovered from falling prey
hook, line and sinker,
nor taking pause to question
blindly abiding to the gentle
verbal faux ministrations
courtesy stealth employed
to ****** away meager wealth.

Existential nihilism rent psyche asunder
courtesy unforeseen deadly bombs
lobbed by computer hacker and scammer
rolled into one nasty,
short and brutish lout,
whereby his aggrieved targeted victim,
whereby the perpetrator
experienced absolutely zero qualms
gingerly blindsiding me
analogous to jilted lovers
subjected to figurative
blackened barbs à la rom·coms.

Though common horse sense
I generally applaud
within these lovely bones
an undersize fellow whose forehead broad
methinks perchance twenty first century
can witness remake of Exosquad
linkedin with mental, physical,
and spiritual fiasco fraud
no doubt grist for the cinematic mill
made for movie of the week,
where prominent product placement
of once iconic iPod,
but illustrious position
in Apple's product lineup
came to an end.

Apple finally killed the “iPod” brand,
just over twenty years
since original introduction in 2001
creating perfectly fitting
pièce de résistance jigsawed
replaced by smartphones,
such as the iPhone,
which can both store music
and access music streaming services
such as Spotify and Apple Music.

Nevertheless, and despite efforts
to exorcise mailer daemons
rage against the machine
that doth mauraud,
while a tempest blows
furious in my mind as well outside,
thus I gladly nod
acknowledgement toward Mother Nature
for natural timely spatial effects
bending boughs analogous to quad
of cheerleaders executing tricks
while accompanying color guards
exhibit purposeful antics done roughshod
for the benefit of mister Kite.

Distraction writing reasonable rhyme
temporarily offsets carbon footprint
to stomp furiously on account of cyber crime
wracking noggin how I could be lame
easily being conned, dogged,
goaded, hectored, kick/jump started, ...
now yours truly haint gotta dime
to his name, attributed to fool hardiness
poached, fried, embezzled...
oh that human slime
letting him manipulate me
as if he pointed gun -
which spelled "BANG"
when fired, now triggers
approximately twenty one months later
profound unnecessary anguish.

Initially written March 18th, 2023
and revised exactly two years later
tweaking the poem here and there
courtesy adding or subtracting Nabisco  
National Biscuit Company (1898-1971) tidbits
in case a random reader
possesses a photographic memory
recollecting word for word
my literary endeavor
when he/she once again visits
this titled epistle.

The following binary raw bits
hither and yon to and fro flits
across eyes of unknown reader
handsomely buzzfeeding
dining viz fancy feast
donning while trumpeting
microscopic mitts.

Though yours truly
a zany, wimpy, tiny, and puny
(smaller than a breadbox)
modest nonestablishmentarian Ogre,
whereat my portable minuscule
fingerhut size adobe abode
exposed to Strunk and White raw
grammatical elements of style,
I counted Flip (Wilsonian) view,
to camouflage myself anytime
and anywhere as significant advantage.

The obvious downside
(i.e. severe limitations to pull off
major coup) forced me to axe
paunches pilot while taking a chopper
named Cheeses Crust
if I van nah miniaturize daring deed
(done dirt cheap) hashtagged,  reconfigured,
and powered by AC/DC,
which refers to Alternating Current (AC)
and Direct Current (DC)  ,
retouched, recorded by Das scribe
named Magnum Opus.

Indeed, this chance to go long (equivalent
of Olympic gold) foretold godaddy peering
into granule size barren crystal ball.

Preliminary steps undertaken
to pull off impossible mission;
mo' difficult than a blind man
taking eighty steps to Jonah
infiltrating 70+ shades of gray area
prime Donald Trump real estate.

A priority prevailed to act on
the QT (q-tip) lest cover get blown,
and suspicious communique encrypted
to hire globe trotting henchmen.

Urgency spurred daring deed,
cuz targeted subject in question
majority population counted
as debouched, delirious, and
demonstrably dangerous
demagogue, in short a "FAKE"
forty fifth and forty seventh president!

Security details
(like stray cats on the prowl),
could sniff out ploy to re
program depraved, deranged,
and detached supposed Master
at helm, you Jesse and wait.

His audacity, effrontery,
and isolationist iffy
Oscar the grouch ideology
placed him squarely as half baked
cookie monstrosity against
former United States Commander in Chief.

First order of business necessitated
tranquilizing this doughty, haughty
enemy of the Lumpenproletariat!

Renown chemist friends of mine
(actually Civil War tin
effervescent bubble buddies)
alias Diet Coke and/or Diet Pepsi
secured an ampule Taj Mahal
~ circa 1631 vintage.

One ampule viz pill
could knock out a giant –
sans, Jack and the beanstalk fame.

No ifs, and or bots, the secret
got pulled off without spilling
figurative (jelly) beans.

Once inside auditory labyrinth,
I immediately noticed striking
deus ex machina ***** rioting
resemblance to microscopic cave.

Now follows non sequitur
with rhyme nor reason.

A thick baad a$$ sieve sludge
(vaguely resembling cerumen in consistency)
re: gooey pseudo pulpy secreted material
suctioned courtesy resultant ****** mess
in a near futile attempt
to separate Siamese sistahs
said substance issuing forth
after surgeons meticulous incisions
qualify as unsung heroes
as does illogical senseless segue way
into riff about
Def Leppard amputee drummer
Rick Allen brutally attacked
by human rabid beastie boy
posed an initial dilemma,
which audioslave solution
entailed collaboration to build
a toothpick fence.

Pensiveness unexpectedly found
unwitting subject trying
to comprehend gibberish
attempting to pass muster
as supreme poetic literature
said unsuspecting reader
reflexively scratching, poking,
and jabbing inadvertently
gesticulating at mine doppelgänger
finding him listening
for subsequent instructions
from ground zero.

Don we now our gay apparel
despite knowing lives
(within definition of rainbow person,
where individual considers themselves
within LGBTQIA2S umbrella group)
suddenly prideful freedom of expression
imperils their very existence
during repressive Trumpian regime,
which would forever hashtag me
(not necessarily linkedin as identifying
with aforementioned acronym,
but merely expressing solidarity)
with those whose existence defies categorization
no matter passive and not violent modus operandi,
nevertheless yours truly automatically associated
as one among dangerous agents provocateur,
(the pen or rather keyboard
more powerful and mightier
against thugs than the sword),
where demagogue(s) would gloat
over purging one harmless
equalitarian, latitudinarian, nonestablishmentarian,
sexagenarian, and Unitarian
falsely indicted on ******* up machinations,
would decree (if given free reign)
to issue death by most brutal short
nasty, and heinous means
against supposed poisonous free expression
with absolute zero chance of posthumous acclaim.  

I now imagine as the figurative guillotine
propelled at lightspeed
intent to lop off the talking head(s)
sharing figurative body electric
instantaneously reducing to silence
as the TomTom Club beats louder
signaling immediate decapitation
mien average nondescript means
elatedly being trumpeted as stark example
in an autocratic attempt to bid au revoir
to the likes of Matthew Scott Harris
oh perilous death of freedom
courtesy opprobrious and machiavellian edicts.

Since pledging my troth
to the missus July 25th, 1996
after the common era
never in my wildest dreams
would the end of the world
as we know or remember
punctuate mein kampf,
and that of almost every **** sapiens
with global disequilibrium, and discombobulation

Ever since the notions
of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
coalesced within the mindscape
attributed to one
or more anonymous forebears
way before the advent of civilization
when written language preserved
(**** sapiens communicated
virtual primal groans and grunts),
nevertheless witnessing inchoate awakening
visa vis discover ring dawning enlightenment
bajillions of years after
earth, wind and fire
affected ideal environment
for Beatle browed foo fighters
Nirvana oriented proto humans
among rival capital one group
of beastie boys versus another.

Each subsequent generation embodied
propensity to acquire heavenly delight
characterized courtesy
storied primeval human associations
to wrestle with promotion
of mental, physical and spiritual autonomy.

Once self-determination awoke
animal hides did cloak
daggers if antagonism occurred
especially as high society
coaxed fibers inviting village people
to invent legislation to evoke
amity particularly once firearms
witnessed proliferation of gunsmoke
(and the Western genre as film noir)
after shoot-'em-ups erupted,
when scapegoat mustered courage
(after chomping powder milk biscuits)
bad to the bone bully underestimated chutzpah
courtesy said shy person,
yours truly did invoke
adulation and garnered
within figurative keystroke
generated winning vote
cast strictly by menfolk
if I vouchsafed would
NOT be pig in a poke
as happened countless millenniums later,
when forty fifth president
of lands slated to become de facto despot
across United States of America
would try to revoke
his successor mudslinging him,
(the latter, a common joe biden time),
a veritable teetotaler,
who swore, he rarely took a ****.

Blame aforementioned  conveniently shifted
upon blue collar Scranton
common Joe biden his time yup
blimey bloke never woke up
until after leaving Oval Office
glad to wipe his figurative hands
as vice president to Barack Obama
after November 8, 2016,
when Trump elected to his first term
as President, defeating former First Lady
and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
subsequently inaugurated as 45th President
of the United States on January 20, 2017.

An interregnum of eerie and relative calm
descended from sea to shining sea
before lights, camera, action.

Cue Project 2025 in full swing
after overstuffed bombastic, caustic,
egocentric, fascistic, hypernationalistic, irrationalistic  
and narcissistic ego freezer
exerted usurpation upon body electric of Uncle Sam
early one January morning
bright eyed and bushy tailed
after a months long stint,
barnstorming across the United States,
whereby the electorate majority
approved former forty fifth occupant again
of “Executive Mansion”
(intending to rule analogous
to Iron Maiden circa 2024 - ?)
admitting his admirably
hand picked administration
donned hat of ruthless dictator wannabe
exhibiting word spelled like elan,
but substitute “o” in place of letter “a”
bragging about earning a living wage
and taking page from playbook of richest Bro,
who brought good humor and laughter,
where tragedy wrought woe
visited webbed wired wide world
(once trod upon by the noble savage
as described by Jean-Jacques Rousseau)
whipping out trademark Dobro,
(a contraction of "Dopyera brothers"
and a word meaning "goodness"
in their native Slovak,
who introduced said instrument in 1928)
kickass nimble though pudgy septuagenarian
(accompanied by the band
Tripping Up Stairs)
performed outstanding show
capering, dancing, gliding,
high jumping, et cetera across the stage
hither and yon, to and fro
contagiously gifting, letting riotous hoopla
ring out across Land of Lake Wobegon
spontaneously kickstarting
audience of senior citizens
(including yours truly)
to shuck off mantle of senescence
and clothes in the same process
after gaining courage
to join Barenaked Ladies
hooting and trumpeting nouveau
playfulness summoning
rebirth of childlike spirit.

How carefree and ideal to identify
with mindset of Alfred E Neuman
Mad Magazine what me worry
unfortunately as a little boy
yours truly beset with mental health issues
Anorexia Nervosa the most serious
potential to develop healthily
self starvation eradicated
courtesy the expertise of psychiatrist
Ted Goldberg my parents did employ
subsequently eating disorder
manifested as hair obsession
with a vengeance,
when maybe some dozen years later
while completing a co-op
linkedin to enrollment at Antioch College
at facility I chose called
Chicago Ecology Resource Center in Illinois,
and who should make
a small teleporting cameo appearance,
but none other than Leonard Nimoy,
albeit his likeness manufactured as plastic
popular gewgaw enterprising toy.

Courtesy the most flimsy tenuous
designs linkedin to above lines
availed and linkedin thru
Unitarian Church affiliation while a youth,
(now negligible participant,
who would never join any group
that would accept me as a member)
an important connection throve with 1976
Norristown Area High School alum
Frankie Augustine Junior a brain,
plus admirable ruler
of tribbles and klingons to boot.

As an otherworldly webbed wordsmith,
I befriended said lad,
who became best earthling chum,
whose birthday (January eleventh
nineteen fifty nine) two days before mine,
our camaraderie did rattle and hum
until he attended Rensselaer
Polytechnic Institute (majoring
in nuclear engineering)
landing himself a plum job.

Our friendship since foundered
unlike the enterprising television show,
which captured the imaginations
of countless young and older people alike.

By 1986, 17 years after entering syndication,
Star Trek considered
the most popular syndicated series;
by 1987, Paramount made $1 million
from each episode;
and by 1994, the reruns
still aired in 94% of the United States.

The following pastiche
poetically pricked *****,
whereby fantasy courtesy Eros
(ἔρως) cow licked
country bumpin videlicet hick
bullied who consider me
on account of a dinky ****.

Me primate chronological
adolescent and emerging adult age evinced
no whoa Biblical flood
thru microsoft billeted gates
bursting viz Dickensian
fleshy prickly sticky stub,
though smallish - male member,
zee tallywhacker proudly, joyously,
and deftly socked
one seminal bang for randy *******
courtesy garden variety
generic rammy buck,
whose berry pull lite
hello ladies twig, could land
sucker punch **** the torpedo puncturing,
wharf lewd billeted gates
demolish ***** rivals scaling
Swiss Alps, thus testosterone
wrested control vis a vis
expunged mighty tsunami
forceful tidal waves jabbed
and pierced boxer shorts
rendering underwear utterly useless as what?...
donut hole? ring without a ding? toothless dad?....
thence retracted whet ragged limp, floppy duff
flay dud discobolus?,
chewed biscuit ova Yankee dew till
birthed Giant via super fresh fielding
acme teenage heterosexual
whet dreams made me
stir crazy experiencing vivid
lifelike ****** fantasies
firm he to feel an ache kin,
beck kin ing , and whisk kin -
with a nod to wink n,
blinkin and nod mine engorged phallus
sought release check kin choking chicken
at cali fornication, per base feral,
hormonal, and primal
antsy animal atavistic antics
brazenly daring me tubby craven,
at least a baker's dozen **** tree muffins
to embolden issuance qua greeting
with ha "good evening
forte tuff hide meat curtains -
ah hanker ta deux an Aaron" cull
of the wild, and an
SOS tummy doppelganger
bro' *******, cuz
back in days of young adulthood
at the house at Pooh's Corner
near the intersection of sixty ninth and Arch
bringing to a dead hardened standstill
practically any moving object
like wings at the speed of sound
inflated ma dill dough,
particularly with onset
of raging testosterone,
once upon time introverted primate
felt his cribbed *****
ready to flow with seminal fluid
and only brought to a stop
if feral atavistic urge
think premature *******
way before ****** comeuppance  
when as an emotionally troubled teen,
he passively attempted to exit -
figurative stage door left -
to avoid exclusion
he ranted reckless rodomontade
rueful boisterous blustering bombasity
alluding to the gooey glop
tooling tug go deeper
thru unguarded Trojan horse eyelet entrance
fired the ****** fantasy
of this then young ******
mox nix to me now,
cuz I may as well be one
(self emasculating) man, whose ordinarily
rather small male *****
got rock hard like a ***
especially at most moist tender vittles
inopportune instances; or watching
the backside wiggle of
freshly minted female teacher
did elicit reCAPTCHA verification failed
to this common Joe,
who felt stymied, frustrated,
and jangled and
******* up with vasocongestion
ribbed skin flute
like any other ***** teenager,
would know (or feign)
how to find suitable gamine orifice
and many dudes
bragged about their masculinity
boasting about their
high achieving Ivy League score,
war hie felt chill and chary,
asper suddenly tha air
felt like five bell ***,
which pent up carnal craving
grudgingly caved into manual stimulation
(a **** poor substitute)
until the august moment
bedding bare naked lady
who allowed, enabled and
provided a proper outlet er...
and/or inlet firm aye
experience absent heterosexual drive
contrary to integral normal predilection
toward physical intimacy,
which natural, ****** union
more healthy than candy,
and delivered to our lives
wholesome buns in the oven, which progeny
we did kindle two tumblr full
daughters both well on their
merry (go round the mulberry bush -
with Cheney saw in hand) way
toward positive future, yet this once
risqué, pesky, and frisky father experienced
a kamikaze nosedive concerning horniness
linkedin to frigidity - ice scribe fluoxetine
(treats mental health conditions
including depression,
obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
and last but not least bulimia)
one generic name for prozac
as bad *** pharmacological killer app
that gave masta baiter hiz mortal blow
with nary an slit tiff hide,
who haint so hot fo' teacher, nor petty *****,
whose when he espies tufted hello kitty.

Noah ****** throbbing wracks
ma five feet and ten inch being,
yet arousal to enter the once portal
ova verboten fruit doth bring
measure for measure mush ado a boot
comb thing far this king fro licking in the lair
re: aperture felt envy and forced
to grapple with hearing
signature ******* groaning
signifying indubitable braggadocio.

though many men,
(especially former Norwegian
bachelor farmers from Lake Woebegone, -
but one presently wedded
to another female for not quite
thirty orbitz around Mister sun) seek a *******
compliments of Facebook (Meta) Messenger
yours truly (me - a married Neanderthal -
who just learned how
to walk ***** this morning)
does fumfer and forestall
profusely groveling
and figuratively backpedaling
when upbraided, interrogated,
and accused of spouting doublespeak
subsequently, I consider hiring a translator
courtesy my awkward
circumlocutious attempt to inthrall,
which gobbledygook more harrowing
than a maelstrom approaching landfall
orchestrated and synchronized
with the right hand man
of divine creator
( à la Matthew Scott Harris)
in tandem with countless gods/goddesses,
who mentored said oddball,
how to control meteorological phenomena
which his granted special powers
(alluded to in at least one previous poem)
if you may recall
which series of unfortunate events
only Lemony Snicket can uninstall
all said and done, he seeks
only platonic relationships
with intelligent and witty women
ideally to learn him
how to speak and write
social media platform jargon
clichéd words understood
and accepted as trite
versus his trademark
cumbersome debilitating, excruciating,
and brow furrowing endeavors
for anonymous readers
to tax their brain cells
essentially expostulations
against unspoken conformity quite,
but most of me threescore and six years
accruing non-establishmentarian, nonsectarian,
and and nonvegetarian linguistic constructs
formulated along the edge of night,
where dark shadows obscure a knight
in tarnished armor
just back from the twilight zone
pulls himself to full, albeit average height
of approximately seventy inches,
which unimpressive stature doth not excite,
but what I lack in physique
genetics compensated me
with being humble and bright
thus with sincerity I apologize
to the wife, whose husband
engaging in his ***** deeds done dirt cheap
essentially cheating by texting and sexting,
and must figuratively nip in the bud
communicating electronically
with plethora of females
(many young enough to be his daughter)
before he gets himself deep
pressed into virtual shenanigans
with veritable strangers
out to delude, hoodwink,
one aggrieved sexagenarian
and **** poor student,
whose eldest daughter not surprisingly
exhibited honor roll intelligence
qualified her for giep
and lure already finding him a heap
now after telehealth
zoom session with psychologist keep
thwarts dissolution of fidelity,
a lesson once learned years ago
contemplating reverberations
of narcissistic actions,
hence self imposed pressure
sublimated into attention
to the missus and scratching
out thoughts from nooks
and crannies of noggin leap.

Courtesy a plethora of marriageable females
*******, hounding, and lowing the living daylights
forcing yours truly to go undercover and into hiding
within the heart of darkness
at a remote undisclosed location in Perkiomen Valley
changing my name, rank and serial number
to protect what little remaining innocence
(analogous from the salvaged wreckage
of the Edmund Fitzgerald,
an American Great Lakes freighter
that sank in Lake Superior
during a storm on November 10, 1975,
with the loss of the entire crew of 29 men),
whereat nearly thirty year old anniversary,
since yours truly pledged his troth
wedded bliss severely
put thru the paces
as I get bombarded from text after text
compliments of celebrated barenaked ladies
brazenly showing me
their anatomical wares
mostly augmented ******* and tuckus,
and asking me to do likewise,
but "No way Jose" emphatically stated
falling on deaf (emoji symbolized) ears
no not mine but the young thangs
invariably seeking a gold digger
versus literally avowing
to be dirt poor substitute,
yet honest to goodness
writer of these words
possesses heart of gold
(cue Neil Young song lyrics,
and his song by the same name),
who values decency, honesty, literacy, poetry...,
and much prefers intelligent conversation,
(whether with himself or a receptive ear)
versus poised to experience a lucky strike
romping (think Rumspringa - a time
when young people
can explore their identity
and decide if they want
to join the Amish) church
kick/jump starting, enmeshing
when all along the reason without rhyme
I accepted friend requests
from Facebook (Meta) Messenger
constituted an ambition to foster
(not just a child of mine),
but intelligent conversation
linkedin to the cares and concerns
of an uncertain world,
at which point tis only to divulge
an inconvenient truth
with earth in the balance
regarding this rare breed (me),
that he considers himself
(YES free and clear
without any inhibitions)
a liberal democrat
now prone to temper his fulminations
toward the Republican party in general
and demagogues in particular
reserving vitriol lest yours truly
finds strong arm of the law
rapping on my door,
and if any pipe dream
could be brought into fruition,
that wish upon a star
would be relocating, hightailing,
emigrating to Canada or returning
to my boyhood home
just south across the border
into the heartland
of Norwegian bachelorhood
videlicet Lake Woebegone
as the next best choice,
the little town that time forgot,
and the years could not improve,
but dearth of financial resources
disallows any remote likelihood
for yours truly and the wife
to pack up our troubles
in our old kit-bag,
thus I will hunker down
for the next four years
bestowing divine faith healing;
jimmying, lording (no pun),
raising the roof of churches,
albeit damaged since the Great Flood,
and Noah way will I abandon
figurative house of mankind,
whereat the flock of lost tribes
aimlessly wander in the wilderness
after their experience as crash test dummy
bailing out from fiery B-52s
found their fear of flying unshaken.

Twenty first century technology
allows, enables, and provides
instantaneous virtual unconsummated love.

Within the course of a texting or sexting session
one lovelorn lad (or grown man)
can fabricate a faux impression
with the young or old fellow claiming lineage
as a reincarnated Hessian
essentially a German trooper hired
by the British to help fight
during the American Revolution
principally drawn
from the German state of Hesse-Cassel.

Heavily reliant on the ability to embellish
I, a married communitarian, flexitarian,
latitudinarian, sexagenarian, and Unitarian
seek an applicable, flirtatious, illicit liaison
with a sugar mommy to relish.

Though basically discriminatory
father/husband impractical joker
caught the incurable texting/sexting fever
rationalizes triggering, voyaging,
and xeriscaping his prickly little garden borer
would not smack of adultery, infidelity, but
witness jocularity, levity, and negotiability
within the parameters of cyberspace.

Simulation of being electronically coupled
won't necessitate justice of the peace nor
wedding officiant or marriage officiant,
sometimes referred to as a celebrant.

Both people able, eager, ready and willing
to sample a pseudo/quasi
noteworthy scaled union
as all "good boys do fine"
for the treble clef lines
or "All Cows Eat Grass"
for the treble clef spaces
and "Fat Cows Eat Grass"
for the bass clef lines
can simply pledge their troth
for the duration of time spent online.

If game to feign *******, discipline
(or *******), sadism, and masochism
(as a type of ****** practice)
then Ubangi me,
and subsequently I do likewise to thee
all in good and healthy fun - ha!

Cavorting with sophisticated banter
would more closely
delineate mine harried style
swiftly tailored word play
not only in one direction
but also contesting each other
with palindromes and maybe
even talking in cryptograms.

Impossible mission to discover
visa vis other people
(predominantly of the female persuasion -
ideally a galavanting
gender conforming heterosexual lass
striving to hone her proficiency
with English language in general
and as a creative grammarian,
cognitive humanitarian,
and circumspective nothingarian
to whip out her wit and wisdom
for no particular rhyme nor reason,
but just merely to quip
for the sheer joy
of employing lingua franca.

If unsuccessful with deploying a figurative spark
courtesy atypical modus operandi videlicet
and fail to strike up a potential quasi match
with a receptive counterpart,
I will continue to entertain myself
summoning forth innovative verses
if for nobody else but yours truly (me),
who experienced joie de vivre
when satisfied with a written endeavor
trying to avoid bombastic, egocentric,
idiosyncratic, et cetera eye sores.

One must do whatever in their power
to cope with cares and concerns
of an uncertain webbed, wide world.

For me, that means reading and writing.

I considered myself sophisticated and wise,
but the addictive power of texting
and subsequently sexting
took me by surprise,
and impossible mission to neutralize
despite experiencing scraping rock bottom
as emotional lows courtesy accusations
from the alewife, nevertheless
communication, envisioning, and flirting
with a veritable unknown females
generates testosterone filled highs
diatribes hurled lambasting me
despite trying to articulate
faux convincing alibis.

As a recent newbie to accessing
Facebook (Meta) Messenger
(similar to any other social media platform)
one offered feature
constitutes Friend request option,
which function when answered
in the affirmative
courtesy the recipient
activates modus operandi
and implied netiquette,
where veritable strangers
lost in cyberspace
immediately finds him/herself linkedin to
plethora of potential physical entanglements
with members of the same
or opposite genders
leaving little or no opportunities
for platonic friendship
the somewhat limited
level of familiarity yours truly seeks,
apropos to a married former agrarian
Norwegian bachelor farmer,
barbarian, communitarian, disestablishmentarian,
equalitarian, grammarian, latitudinarian,
nonvegetarian, sexagenarian, utilitarian,
Unitarian, and non Aryan.
Though just a run of mill (by the pond)
generic guy with negligible qualities to boast
before long, I found myself
without absolute zero self discipline
to cease reciprocating with unknown
from across the webbed wide world,
and excitement coursed
thru every pore of mine
for adventure found me blithely engrossed
as these not
so nimble butter fingers
analogous to that sensation,
when betting on when my ship comes in
(ideally laden with riches)
after traveling the seven seas
for numerous orbitz around the sun
(escaping countless mutinous crisis
linkedin with humorous,
pirate, or vaccination conspiracies aye
unable to avoid an impost
courtesy Trump economics,
which favors the one percent
and impinges those people dirt poor
(like yours truly)
bumping uglies along the nethermost
at risk for becoming indigent
reduced to eat burnt offerings
vis a vis rotten stale toast.

If perchance ye dear unknown reader
espy a scruffy Unitarian, sexagenarian
reincarnated Union soldier to boot
donning dark blue wool uniform
consisting of a "sack coat" (jacket),
blue wool trousers, a forage cap
(hat with a leather visor),
and leather brogan shoes
but currently spends
his senior citizen days
as a present day panhandling chap,
who makes sounds courtesy his glute
after living on beans
cue Blazing Saddles,
with a cheeky bit part
yours truly starred
where stage got set at Moyer's dump
ofttimes declared a superfund site
for air he did pollute.

Though forever being a landlubber
a vision analogous to the nether world
deep within the bowels of the Earth
immensely distant from the sheltering sky
amidst a thick fog enveloped landscape
with here and there a projected
craggy, derelict chasm
precipitously crooked
rocky claws pointing toward
an infinitely wide yawning abyss
dwelt kindred spirits
comprising a Soul Asylum,
where The Grateful Dead (albeit marked
via weathered tombstones)
hermetically sealed in Davy Jones locker
once vibrant corporeal mortals
betook their eternal slumber.

Echoing from one end
of the universe to the other
putting to shame the initial big bang
ranking as a mere whimper
that original primordial blast,
which cosmological exploits
generated heavenly sphere instantaneously
comparison viz Krakatoa times Googleplex
essentially reduced to insignificance
albeit on the analogous tinker toy
premised conjectures of brilliant minds
that could only gander feeble educated guesses
asper extraordinary natural phenomena
mortal mankind could never approximate
as belligerent threats
punctuated via nuclear warfare
merely rates as a flickr amidst
uber kindle jump/kick starting,
pinteresting snap chatting
tinder blinks, extinguishes,
snuffs out one lowly
Beatle browed bipedal simian.

While reading the above text,
I could barely keep my eyes opened
and practically dozed off
as the lapping of the ocean
buffeted our sturdy small cruise ship.

Lazing about the "Fo'c'sle..."
sailors situated upon upper deck of their ship
spotted what appeared
to be a humongous, ominous looking,
phenomenal, shape-shifting massive entity
fused between distant land and infinite sky
and moving at lightspeed
toward the prow of their ship.

Within lil more'n a day at most
the coming fury
would impose the wrath of God,
whereby nobody forced
small number of young and old salt
more familiar to the briny deep
then the terra firma underfoot
into the impossible mission
to weather the maelstrom
already passed the point of no return
far too late to never call retreat
tempest will challenge
cutting crew to a ferocious brawl
trumpeting tempestuous donnybrook
chalk slam dunk March madness
closes curtain call
“in like a lion, out like a lamb,”
twill hove tested survivability,
asper flora, thru harsh winter, and
those most searing robust
will have passed thru
brutish, nasty, and short assay
compliments Poseidon
(known as Neptune
in Roman mythology)
upon weathering,
mustering survival skills
and the psyched
by shear blessedness
that lovely lass,
(and countless small children)
awaits sea dogs after pulling thru hellacious
allowing, enabling, and providing
each experienced hand
to “Hoist himself by his own petard,”
with attendant motivating prospect videlicet
regarding unbridled love
the mere thought of leaving behind
a young widow summons
pent up latent energy bursting asunder
envisioned hardened Jack-tar
to cavort, frolic, instigate
wham bam thank you ma'am
soon after making landfall
lollygagging, orchestrating, romancing
while birds and bees pollinate
seeds of life and white lily
jamming, humming, fostering sensational slam
dance, where flora lifts, wafts, and yawps
spring fever that busted out all over
invoking nine months later warble(s), gurgle(s),
burble(s) from new born baby
being rocked back and forth
enroute to visit grandmum
comfortably situated within tram
pleasantly dreaming courtesy
rhythmic clattering over tracks.

min(no) newt effect on me.

As part and parcel of terpsichorean repertoire,
one whirling dervish
***** his wings at the speed of sound.

With twenty three hours
Sunday March 9th, 2025
essentially 2:00:00 to 2:59:59
does not exist
in the night of the switch
(back to the house of Pooh Corner)
not only in Pennsylvania
(but as well as
across the United States)
will begin at 2:00 AM,
(thus dear reader ye moost
stay awake two hours into)
Sunday, March ninth
originally implemented over
one hundred years ago,
in 1918 during World War I
to help conserve fuel and power
and extend the workday
where countless nations
did lyft the bulk of production
after supporting a wartime economy.

Working during the sunlight hours
meant burning less fuel,
and the ability to work
later into the day
and moost likely will impact
min-née-ute effect on me
a run of the mill on the Floss
amazingly gracefully aging
long haired pencil necked geek,
who welcomes increased photons
while sunbathing within his alcove
just outside the bedroom window.

Just moments ago,
I dusk hoovered a dawning realization
which arose within the noggin
of this sol son begat
from when ma late mother most fecund
but twenty years ago May 5th, 2025
hook hot whisked away courtesy grim reaper,
and then, (when following portion of poem written)
nonagenarian widower father of mine,
who sat bolt upright in bed
uttering apostrophic comment
before succombing to catastrophic
congestive heart failure,
when this sole son visited him on his deathbed
boot merely the painful revelation
never to talk to the man
who, how he learned me fist bumping
suddenly recalled for no particular
rhyme nor reason
when dee clocks hour hand moved ahead
remembered by dat
dog gone refrain
spring ahead, and fall back,
this unemployed chap
doth down play eclat
courtesy Father Time
experiencing malignant coup d'etat,
attests that his quotidian schedule
of being a faux lounge lizard minimally affected
while being holed up here
in Highland Manor named flat
barely roomy enough
for thyself, the Missus,
and buzzfeed ding fruit flies
each fuzz beating insect
approximately the size of a gnat
a minor nuisance, though tolerable
within this appealing habitat,

where minor inconvenient truth experienced
while earthling in the balance
between living social versus being homeless
by this Schwenksville, Pennsylvania resident
cuz as a recipient
of social security disability,
(which Trump's wrecking ball may obliterate)
social anxiety – and more accurately
schizoid personality disorder
psychological qualifier
that didst get linkedin with receiving
unearned income int to pay rent,
which fixed (unearned) income budgeted
and predominantly allocated to costs
of living money basic necessities spent,
hence no need to arise
bright tailed and bushy eyed,
a freedom akin
to festive folks camped out in a tent,
which exemption immunizes
this doodle ling middle aged
muddle brained chap
subjecting unsuspecting readers
to his inane raving and ranting
affiliated with early morning drivers,
who angrily, frenetically,
and splenetically rant and vent
thus, the tendency, piquancy, and lunacy
to twitter for the Yardbirds,
and keep company
with night owls, who went

a hooting for all the world wide web
to hear, whence straw dawgs Bach,
the exact number of hours, yer oblivious
to the tight rigorous mortised schedule
manned by Mister Clock,
essentially foisting on bread winners,
an abstract artificial construct spurring
madcap commuters to scurry in the rat race,
lest tardiness could cost
more than ham iz zone whole paycheck
(to ap pier with permanent dock
hue ment aye shun),
an unwonted blot add hock
king worry about getting canned - laughter
i.e. on permanent furlough,
perhaps forced into a life of crime,
yet if caught...
courtesy strapping ****
drags me, a wimpy wordsmith
wasting away in a jail cell,
a veritable wasteland
surprised to hear the knock
of the princess warden
as she turns tumblers within the lock,
mein future fate in her fingers
if let free and clear,
to hire myself as a robot,
with artificial intelligence
greater than any mortal man or woman;
one redeeming factor,
would offer opportunity to mock
management, and more pertinently
mandate to rock
and roll to the incessant muted,
yet devastatingly loud tick tock.

“The patience of Job” applied as an idiom that means to have great patience or endurance in the face of suffering. It's used to describe someone who perseveres through many problems or hardships.

(or be an uncommon Joe)...
to bide their - meaning her/his time
(while listening to muzak) before talking
with Verizon Fios representative,
who usually profusely thanks
the long time customer for diligently holding out
to discuss any pressing issue(s) at hand.

All that fretting and fussing takes a toll
and disallows one from attaining zen
a state of blessed blissfulness when
considerably unlike figurative
swirling chaos cue Tiananmen
Square when 1989 protests
wrought strong arm of the law to quicken
suppression courtesy the Chinese military
decimated, interrogated, oppressed and vetted
obliterated nascent twittering,
and flickering freedom of expression
student-led demonstrations linkedin
with other brethren and sistren
courtesy qua relationship each as netizen,
with the others until government
stepped in asserted authoritarianism
Über alles might means right.

Any resemblance between the above citation
and living persons purely coincidental,
cuz yours truly (me) cannot remain silent,
but must (be as innocuous as a scare) crow
(as if he got forced
to chomp on the figurative bit),
and admit without further delay
said above iterated Biblical apothegm
more challenging than threading
a needle thru the eye of a camel.

As a little boy buzzfeeding his curiosity
sitting hours sprawled on the grass,
and other instances in later years,
when just a skinny lad,
he honed the ability to wait
for however long the waiting took,
the exception being when my mother
predictably late picking me up
after school if I missed getting on the school bus.

The wait well worth finally speaking
with a Verizon Fios
(Fiber Optic Service) representative,
(who terminated television service
with yours truly to lower his monthly bill),
and while on a protracted waiting stance,
I busied myself in the interim,
whiling away the time
playing online Solitaire:
(I won another virtual trophy
without cheating of course),
and answered Facebook friend requests,
while also checking for responses,
and subsequently texting totally tubular
men and women who sent me a message
ofttimes in reaction to a poem I posted,
and although no tangible
(read tactile) interaction occurs,
a more profound mental arousal
begets enticing hypothalamus, thalamus,
amygdala, and frontal lobes
ushering ******* intellectual glorification
analogous with peak crisis as described below
regarding a breakout novel by D.H. Lawrence
in Lady Chatterley's Lover.

Nowadays aforementioned then
ground breaking scandalous publication
tells the story of a wealthy,
upper-class woman,
Lady Constance Chatterley,
who felt trapped in a loveless marriage
with a paralyzed husband
and finds passionate love
with the working-class gamekeeper
on her estate, Oliver Mellors,
highlighting the themes of class differences
and the importance of physical intimacy
and emotional fulfillment in a relationship;
the book is considered controversial
due to explicit depiction of ***
and the social taboo of the affair.

"Lady Chatterley's Lover"
caused a major stir
due to its explicit descriptions of ***,
particularly female ****** pleasure,
combined with the controversial portrayal
of a passionate affair
between an upper-class woman
and a working-class man, which
considered shocking and taboo for the time,
leading to widespread censorship
and bans across many countries
when it first published.

the Earl of Yarmouth (William Seymour)
a descendant of very late
(to the power of Google - ha) Jane Seymour,
Henry VIII's third wife
currently in a legal battle with his parents,
the Marquess and Marchioness of Hertford,
over the family estate, Ragley Hall
located in Alcester,
Warwickshire, England, at B49 5NJ
constitutes a 17th century
Palladian stately home
set in 450 acres of parkland in Warwickshire
sued his parents for "trauma"
after NOT inheriting a 6,000 acre,
$105 million estate for his thirtieth birthday
contrary to the rule of primogeniture.

how cruel, shameless and unspeakable
unnecessary psychological suffering
ensued, imposed, and ordained
upon talking head of said heir
being royal parentage Livin' on a Prayer
(courtesy Jon Bon Jovi)
lamented being shortchanged
courtesy supposed stingy parents,
who did not even bequeath a ****** weir.

if locked out of a sizable estate
yours truly too would fight tooth and nail
(no matter I wear dentures)
against being denied patrimony
(ranking as a worse fate than death),
cue marionette strings to pull tight
and the listener to pantomime
violins to orchestrate
voiding any chance at tête-à-tête
not deeding a modest fortune
to first born male heir,
hence forcing eldest son
to hire himself (with egg on his face)
out as a yokemate.

aforementioned tidy fortune
linkedin with tragi-comic high drama
will inevitably be exhausted
courtesy bickering as countless
court - battles him
of the republic in which it stands...
(plagiarizing pledge of allegiance
for personal mutinous gain)
ensue - forcing prodigal son against father,
and holy ghost supposed
descendent of Jane Seymour,
whose spirit can host the pity party
perhaps even reviving
the court of King Crimson
subtle allusion to King Henry VIII.
yours truly a fluent bloke,
which two words forged
together to create affluent
suddenly becomes only a tabloid fodder
for and about proletarian pennsylvanian poet
fancy and fantasy of mine
truth be told being born into wealth
and unabashedly crying the blues
generates no empathy from me,
and maybe sympathy
for the devil he will evoke,
but of course archaic contractual obligations
buried deep in the webbed wide world archives
of English law will invoke
paternal obligations reminding
twenty first century sophisticates
if any questionable breech to stint
(once again stretching
the legal limits of credulity)
concerning the welfare of menfolk
such ridiculous questionable logic,
the supposed traumatized young man
will quicken others infinitesimal chance
of securing riches due to *******
whose imagination,
the Earl of Yarmouth (William Seymour)
unwittingly did stoke
and even the writer of these words woke
to fabricate being linkedin
acquiring money and predilection
of jaw dropping wealth,
which delusions and illusions of grandeur
finds me to swallow my pride,
and feel the burden of invisible yoke.

as his stronghold diminishes.

Signals, triggers, and ushers kickstarting debut
of demure "Flora" who slowly but surely attempts
to reveal her true colors in fits and starts,
nevertheless, she displays skittishness,
when sun kissed "Radiance"
(the closest equivalent would be Aglaea
from Greek mythology,
one of the Charites (Graces)
associated with radiant beauty and festive splendor)
dearly fawns upon her,
though as temperatures tick
(tok like a byte dance) upwards,
a preponderant panoply and splash of color
will soon highlight, predominate, and x ist
showcasing the splendiferous,
odiferous, and luminiferous latent potential
conceded courtesy mother nature "Gaia"
housing the pent up
locked energy once dormant
under the frozen terrestrial surface
emergent after celestial seasonal thaw,
which comes trumpeting
and marching when the hills alive
with the sound of music,
where in months to elapse
topiary will come to life
once nondescript hedge rows
sculpted into ornamental animal
via botanical artist wielding
pruning shears and chainsaw
carved, limned and sculpted
with wrist a cratic wrought voila uber
prestidigitation head turning
botanical picturesque Sun
kist animals at an exhibition
transformed miraculously via
Te Deum divine fist bumping,
whence realistic fauna burst
alive with an explosion
of colorful twist and shout of foliage,
where scalloped superfluous,
incredulous, and anomalous
banana rama manna for naturalist
deciduous detritus capacious
carpet boar animation punk
chew waits groundswell.

Liszt ghost would arise from the
grave to produce magnum opus
without a beat missed such
shrubbery mimicking likeness
sans glistening fleshy sin
yew, and gist about ready
to become bone a fide
(green behind ears) thriving vox populist,
per species and genus
wrought thrashing into birth
as delicate craftsman promised
to imbue life, liberty
and pursuit of happiness whittling away
leavings, thus did exist
the nascent then omnipresent visible
entity emerging from cocoon,
an herbalist metamorphosed
from the imagination
of a skilled, practiced and mentalist
conniver viz extracting
the initially obscure blessed beast,
where with august magic
wielding tools of this specialty vis
a vis bringing breathing
manifest destiny ala Pinocchio (trans
formed from wood to flesh),
whereby finest dexterous
chiseling blistering hands
baffle onlookers as coterie of
topiary harvest breathes
mind bogglingly astoundingly
authentic rooted ready
to frolic in grass menagerie,
a gamesome group of linkedin live progeny,
the Michelangelo of dirtiest canvass,
an earthen tabula rasa of sorts,
where application threshing
re: electric cool laid ahs hid
test brings out chlorophyll
doppelganger green hued key luster
incorporating a webbed, wide world
buzzfeeding with a host of organisms
avast vernal renascence
blooming forth when optimal
environmental conditions met
oblivious to whether Gregorian Calendar
indicates the start date
(about twelve weeks after
the northern hemisphere
subjected to hiemal, hibernal,
winterish, or bruma weather)
ecstatic regarding and regaling
March madness Rite of Spring,
when the sun crosses the celestial equator
in a northerly direction,
marking the prime meridian of right ascension
heralding flickering, snapchatting
and twittering Firebird Suite
witnessed amidst flora busting out all over
in all her morning glory
concurrent resultant boom
courtesy the winds of March
whooshing in newlife budding forth
dispersing seeds of life and white lily,
whereby creationists attribute
videre licet pollinators of Eden
given special dispensation, license,
and tithing with gumption
to propagate at the expense
of annihilation, discrimination,
hybridization, marginalization, sanctification,
(and exert dominion - *******
over all creatures great and small,
all things bright and beautiful, and
all things wise and wonderful,
which mandate to be fruitful and multiply)
taken to heart and bestowed,
allotted especial sanctity
to human life reproduction
dogmatic, idiomatic, osmatic
deeds categorically to beget
in obeisance to supposed sacred text
bamboozling, extolling, and foretelling gamut
of various and sundry
diverse creeds, misfit nationalities,
and tribes of man/womankind,
where taint any chance
civilization and their discontents
also known as **** sapiens will endure
raining ruination upon planet Earth,
where heirs and heiresses
temporarily obscured by
obscenely offensive musky men trumpeting
proclamation *******.

The easy to handle
sticky sided material
made of a variety of materials, including
cellulose acetate, polypropylene,
PVC, and adhesive
(alluded to in the title)
applied in an innovative manner
allowing, enabling, and providing me
the means and ways to affix paper bags
artfully, carefully, and gingerly
paper folded over school books,
which requisite book covers
(Trader Joe's bags supremely sturdy)
lasted the entire school year,
and offered an opportunity
to flaunt my creativity
without marring the school property
subsequently said weathered book covered,
id est paper plastered with scotch tape
offering a clear smooth sheen,
albeit fantastically, easily and courtesy
itty bitty teensy weensy serrated edge
used to cut off cleanly
in a very precise manner
over every square inch
of dad who bagged agilely
Methacton School reading material,
which left the book like new
(actually removing said cover
analogous to solving a Chinese puzzle)
subsequently at close of term
and eighth year of being educated
after getting promoted to the next grade
got sold at electronic auction
to the highest bidder –
powder milk biscuits free),
for a decent price,
which amazingly enough
intact wrapping materials
once removed with surgical precision
to maintain integrity of specially crafted
Matthew Scott Harris quality binding
grace the halls
of many famous art institutes,
(and many walls of nouveau riche
and worth - in my nonbiased
humble estimation) a mint,
when sold off eBay giving me near
instantaneously fame and fortune
to quit the rigors
of an honors based academic curriculum,
and reap laurels publishing and selling
my book with the grateful assistance
particularly when - yours truly
as one of the topnotch students
in Mister Bergey's math class,
(slated to graduate June 19__,
but on account
of stupendous entrepreneurial talent,
and nonpareil literary composition
in tandem with making
heavy duty sturdy book covers,
which humdrum assignment
delivered overnight fame and fortune,
the unheard of acclaim
gave me a ticket to ride
to the head of the class
after phenomenal success
affixing said book covers)
after beloved popular educationist
assigned each kid
why he/she needed
to cover Algebra book
extra credit Brownie/
Cub scout points given
for endeavor presented
on optional writing endeavor
penning a convincing essay
about why such action
ought to be undertaken,
not only the obvious reason
to ensure protection
against the elements at large
that could wreak havoc
and render ruinous
said book next to useless
thus after some brainstorming
this then precocious
paperback writer wannabe
(essentially fool on the hill)
You Do The Calculus;
A Radical Exponent
With Number Of Factors
To Cover Textbook
dreamt up the aforementioned drab title
videre licet crafty appellation  
all the while enveloping, kneading,
and sporting mine smug mug
(of yours truly - the author holding pet pug)
an absolutely glorious amazing
example of his creation
recyclable with minor alterations
for generations of vipers.

and finally gung-** with a poem title
important to yours truly
not disappointing his Facebook fan base,
which electronic affirmation,
and confirmation, breeds gratification
analogous to being
the proud papa begetting offspring
progeny growing up at breakneck speed
spurring me to rub my eyes
as if experiencing hallucination,
and thanks be to thee unknown readers,
whose familiar and recognizable namesakes
fuel an impetus to slave away
past the bewitching hour.

A cup of first press high test Joe
(courtesy the missus)
this late hour crucial and vital
to trigger genesis of writing idea
though nary a handy dandy blues clue
what the following endeavor will entail,
whereby thought processes
whipsawed across a gamut
of enigmatic basic questions
most likely similar queries pondered
when proto humans
first learned or evolved
to stand *****,
where genitalia subsequently visible
in plain sight front and center,
and most likely the males
who sported the biggest schmeckle
(id est - gifted with endowment
where ******* ***** concerned)
inadvertently, impeccably, and invariably
wowed an equally
well proportioned barenaked lady,
thus setting into motion Barbie craze physique,
which became commercialized,
idolized, popularized, et cetera
March ninth, nineteen fifty nine
millions of countless generations before
yours or mine Bubbeh's
Zayde's, Bubbeh's Zayde's,
Bubbeh's Zayde's et cetera
until the beginning of time.
I would not have been bestowed
(but rather disadvantaged)
with any redeeming physical advantages,
what with my gangly, measly,
and scrawny body and probably
screaming ****** ******
left to die lest drawing enemies woke
fee fie foe fum... in bespoke guttural
(necessitating traditional healer
*** doula *** witch doctor
to toss out baby with the bathwater
autochthonous eventually
giving rise to naturopathic doctor (ND),
as they practiced a system of medicine
that incorporated natural therapies
and holistic measures
ofttimes deemed cruel approaches,
by standards of twenty first century
often distinct from conventional Western medicine
and quickly dispensed
with "good riddance to that cry baby"
then lionized by salivating king of the jungle,
when yours truly just days old as a newborn,
but bully me that would have saved
a lifetime of trauma courtesy
those foo fighting beastie boys
who trumpeted characteristics
topped off with natural carrot top
donned windblown handy dandy raked pompadour
which heady hirsute provided extra bonus
added insouciant aura at the onset of drama
bequeathed most robust
short, nasty and brutish **** sapiens,
(who would still be considered pygmies
among land of the giants
(even yours truly feels dwarfed)
by standard of modern man/woman
stood head and shoulders
among the madding crowd)
as no specimen to tangle
cuz they were counted, gifted, and linkedin
among those who met,
(and checked off survival of the fittest box)
bolstering triumph amidst adversity
criteria inheriting salient qualities
namely who at birth evinced potential
to become a Sumo wrestler,
who when population density
increased implemented deportation
way before MAGA onset
towards those (though necessary
for grunt work) evinced
stark ape parent
visible primate characteristics
substantiating Darwinian theory of evolution
in tandem with origin of species
predicated new species
come from preexisting species,
and that all species share a common ancestor.

If ye benevolent reader count yourself as a wise married man such as me...
(truer words never spoken nor written)
take my word and decline
and absolutely refuse to take masterly crafted bait
videre licet Facebook female
seeking to lure, catch
and unwittingly cannibalize
thee unfortunate soul
courtesy dangling eye catching
teasing offer vis a vis friend request.

Analogous to a virtual
faux conscientious fisherwoman,
nonchalantly sporting her usual
moon officiant zestfully, maidenly
and entrancingly Venusian efficient
trappings of the trade
such as: a long-sleeved,
quick-drying fishing shirt,
technical fishing pants,
a wide-brimmed hat,
polarized sunglasses,
waterproof jacket and pants
(depending on weather),
sturdy waterproof boots,
and sometimes a fishing vest
to hold tackle and gear,
who aimed and angled
to reel in good catch of the day
using barbless hooks
and proper handling techniques,
to significantly minimize discomfort
when maneater snags a beauty.

A much more preferable fate than taking the bait
concerns mainlining, quaffing, snorting, et cetera
consciousness expanding material
ala electric kool aid acid test,
which nonfiction authored by Tom Wolfe
showcased a bus named by artist Roy Sebern,
who painted the word "Furthur"
(with two U's, quickly corrected)
inspiration to pacify cool and the gang
of offbeat generation Characters:
Neal Cassady, Jerry Garcia,
Ken Kesey, Stewart Brand,
Ken Babbs (a leader
of the Merry Pranksters -
and close friend of Ken Kesey),
the leader of a group of people
involved in the Acid Tests
featured in The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test
prodding them to continue going west.

I cannot speak nor write
from personal experience
regarding feeling voluntarily drugged,
but no hallucinogenic trip,
yours truly imagines
could rival the contumacious -
riding roughshod over sacrosanct
institution of heterosexual marriage,
ferocious - savagely character assassinating
a married male, id est,
incapacious - to accept no as an answer,
and predacious - preying
upon a sexagenarian husband
such shady sophisticated ploy linkedin
with the underbelly courtesy the Internet
in general and Facebook in particular
best to wriggle free and clear
and joining the gig
with the celebrated jumping frog
of Calaveras County
after successful effort
to get tossed back into the cyber sea.

though two thousand nine hundred
will be here in seventy five years,
a mere blink of the eye
never to early
to think about fêted occasion
which marks the beginning
of the 22nd century.

if not yourself (dear reader)
than think about generations to come
(thus far without an appellation),
who will point to old faded photographs
exclaim, and chuckle
while ribbing the person
next to them -
possibly their living social kith and kin,
which relationships), where said freeze frame
portrays folks staring and smiling back
at a time when MAGA
imposed a heavy hand
(think iron maiden ruled),
the constitution and
declaration of independence
long since made a mockery
on what used to be inalienable rights
of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
essentially giving rise to an underground,
where scions of musky Trump's heirs
ruled the United States of America ever since
by bigfooted diktats, fiats, et cetera.

byzantine cradle to grave strictures
(courtesy the invisible hand
of big brother and sister)
mandated every citizen
except the one percent quadrillionaires
to pay obeisance
with blood and a pound of flesh if necessary
come hell or high water;
should one get hashtagged
as catchall term insubordinate,
which loosely translated
meant a subject defied,
whether accidentally or purposely
some arbitrary obscure law
(envision if you will -
the judge's gavel as if on cue
comes down hard and fast with a guilty verdict),
cuz even the least serious violation
warranted harshest sentence
matter of fact
any and all infractions
the dictator conveniently considered
punishable misdeeds as capital offense,
meant an automatic decree of death,
and should the unfortunate soul find him/herself
at the receiving end of harsh punishment,
(which can be guaranteed without fail),
he/she owned sole freedom
to choose their demise;
essentially government
controlled every breath one took
from conception to death
until that final exhalation,
which expiration of subject
decreed by coroner
named B. Aaron number xyz.

right into the slammer
one went if out the mouth one gave cheek
long haired pencil necked geek
being unduly submissive and meek
considered an advantage under regime(s)
that promised to be brutal,
nasty and short forcing
doubting thomas to hobble
along after receiving a whack,
and unsavory tweet and tweak
about the nose or ears.

thus genetic engineers bred
docile traits passive as a human
being part and parcel of the grateful dead,
nevertheless an occasional chromosomal quirk
transmitted emboldened individual,
whereat he/she fled,
yet authorities eventually found miscreant
and gave him/her unforgettable
pistol whipping over their head
essentially wreaking vengeance
renting asunder comfortably numb noggin
rendering freshly minted jughead,
whereat moments before
once brilliant brainiac
lost considerable intelligence quotient points
no smarter than a block of lead.

where amble lances
hurled with the might
of off fish hull seductress dances
setting figurative stage to take a bite
from canoodling beastie boy best eaten alive
or just after freshly being killed.

oblivious to the ramifications
courtesy the deafening ear splitting sound,
nor mindful of the devastating emotional fallout
lurking within outer limits of dark shadows
ineluctably drawn into ****** pacification,
yours truly surrendered
to the atavistic call of the wild.

heedless where "still thelassic waters run deep,"
I set the prow of skiff
christened Matthew Scott Harris
unbeknownst of the
shark and piranha infested waters
far from the pseudo sanctuary of safety
(way out of eyesight
and earshot of being rescued)
forsook being availed
from self destruction
courtesy the rocky shoal
littered with the detritus
flotsam, and jetsam
of lovely bones devoid of flesh
tell·tale sign of ferocious,
malicious, and vicious
maneaters particularly satiating
young stud muffins buffed
in the prime of their life
although if slim pickings occur
even old Norwegian Bachelor
spinning yarns about fictitious town
of Lake Woebegone, Minnesota
'where all the women are strong,
all the men are good looking,
and all the children are above average.'

Rather, I succumbed to primal urge
head over heels
far as the eye could see
barenaked ladies
blindsided yours truly
into a false sense of security,
where nymphs cavorted, sported
and particularly exhorted me
to forego sense and sensibility
and to ***** rationality,
where misfortune signaled my demise.

I insouciantly ignored a sixth sense
warning me against further trespass,
nevertheless overpowering temptation
for carnal desire
(read a strong longing
for physical or ****** pleasure
this despite being a married male,
albeit celibacy gripped ***** -
quizzically hardening prickliness
into test easy rider of decadence feeling
conflict against sacrosanct pledged troth
vows upended The vows:
"I, _, take thee, _,
to be my wedded wife/husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for none the richer, for none the poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part,
according to God's holy ordinance;
and thereto I pledge thee my faith"
entreating, kickstarting, and readily
zapping sacrilegious oath)
dwindling horniness linkedin
pacified tactile ******* zeal
to the point where ****** horns trumpet
voice of a castrato, a male singer
who castrated before puberty
since taking prescription medication
to quell generalized and performance anxiety,
especially when premature *******
compromised potential ******* ******
immediately tempering hormonal secretion
by **** tat videre licet limp libido
superseded voyaging into dangerfield
strewn with deadly landmines.

(and cries out long day's journey into night,
no...not for Eugene O'Neill),
but rather being distributed
in their respective bins at Wegmans
Under the Elms

Dressed up in our Sunday finery,
(which attire frankly looks no different
than the clothes we wear on any other occasion,
nevertheless we try our level best
with steely mettle,
we haul gull *** to said location
in a concerted effort
to be romantic on those singular occasions
looking into the eyes of each other
and blowing a kiss
to the once upon a time fair maiden,
who caught mine heart and soul
immediately breaking free and clear
of reverie, and getting
back to the grubby business at hand
as we hurriedly distribute reusable materials
into their respective bins,
so we can commence shopping for food,
which dual purpose outing
(us old married couple codgers
feign being youngbloods in love)
subsequently came to be hashtagged
"A night on the town,"
(which title - after doing a Google search
unknowingly identical to
Rod Stewart's seventh album, released in 1976)
located at 600 Commerce Drive Providence
Town Center Collegeville, PA 19426‎.

The missus (once upon a time
and in a former incarnation
repurposed as a paper shredder,
thus I continually remind myself
not to put fingers of mine
anywhere near her teeth),
nevertheless counts herself
as a diehard advocate of recycling,
especially pulpy flesh
and goes the extra green mile, or two, or three...
to make her contribution
to ecological beneficence,
and within which eco conscious upbringing
our two daughters (now grown
and livingsocial on their own)
free and clear of birth parents
whose mien mean marred psyches
etched indelible opportunistic ugly yelp review.

Because the weather got so darned
(please feel free to substitute
your favorite expletive) cold,
(compard to six months,
when I bemoaned the polar opposite
weather related lament),
we stashed bulging bags
of empty metal cans,
plastic containers and empty bags,
glass bell jars, paper, et cetera
in our (actually mine)
2020 white Hyundai Elantra
leaving neither little room
for a driver, passenger, hitchhiker,
nor a corpse to get stuffed in the trunk,
which would pose an inconvenient truth
to a hypothetical lifeless body.

We promised ourselves
(girl scout's honor in my case,
and boy scout's honor courtesy the missus)
come the first warm day,
the above listed materials
will fill up the appropriate bins at Wegmans,
cause the facility where we reside
(Highland Manor Apartments -
managed by Crooks and Quade)
does not deal with materials
that can be repurposed.

Thus the reason without rhyme why
the five year old aforementioned automobile
strongly resembles the vehicle
ideal for junkyard dogs
on Sanford and Son's -
one of the countless sitcoms -
first episode aired January 14th, 1972
produced by Norman Lear,
which essentially follows the premise
where junk dealer Fred Sanford -
a older man of color
runs roughshod over
his son and partner, Lamont,
in a groundbreaking situation comedy.

Fred's money making schemes
routinely backfire, and he does
just about anything to get out of working --
up to and including faking a heart attack.

Aside from the father figure character
being rude, sarcastic, outspoken,
overtly prejudiced,
and pretty **** nasty
to his friends and family,
and other than outstanding belligerent traits,
the older man makes for a fine companion.

Additionally, the spouse used to save
compostable material in the freezer,
(and come the warmer months,
when spring announced
courtesy twittering songbirds
and light buds
barely peeking thru the cold earth
she will do the same)
buzzfeed leftover food -
to animals James Herriot would smile
on as All Creatures Great and Small,
All Things Bright and Beautiful,
All Things Wise and Wonderful,
plus various and sundry other book titles
paying homage to dear animals,
who populate and take refuge
within the strip of sum mall woodland
barely edible in the first place
that got blessedly
co-opted courtesy mold.

Actually most times the wife
who does patchke
(to fuss or mess around
in an inefficient or inexpert way)
surprisingly enough the I married
not quite three decades ago
does manage to hit upon
a flavorful cause célèbre
to be a Michelin success
earning the maximum number of stars
plus she starred and got showcased on
Top Chef Amateurs.

In an attempt to recount how life came about on planet Earth,
thence subsequently spanning across the webbed wide world
birthed cockamamie idea within mind of then young Matthew
Scott Harris, who knew nothing about Charles Darwin Origin
of Species controversial revolutionary annunciation with much
excitation videre licet painstakingly slow process of evolution,
where over the course of billions of years origin of life became
as told to him tongue in cheek courtesy his kibitzing father and
mother manifest hoodwinked him (said boy gullibly prone to
accept gospel that every object in the sky peopled unwittingly
complement Harris mad scientist, (who spent substantial years
self sequestered - much like writer of these words) fabricating
in retrospect far out and groovy improbable hypotheses about
Norwegian bachelor farmer, who in an attempt to make powder
milk biscuits, put the ingredients in the refrigerator and absent
mindedly forgot about them until unusual noises heard distinctly
linkedin within invention to keep perishables frozen or cold - a
constant almost rhythmic rattle & hum eventually drew curious 
resident of Lake Woebegone, and supposed missing link within
genealogical family tree, which ostracized forebear unwittingly
created perfect magnetic force field environment where steely
sons of ******* outliers from outer limits of the twilight zone
not unlike the Jetsons (a fictional family from animated sitcom
of same name ineluctably pulled (usually against their will) said
television show aired in the1960s, and viewed by none other than
yours truly me as a rather quiet natured keenly observant little boy
ofttimes looking toward the heavens displaying inscrutable mien
dumbfounded look, whose furrowed brow contemplating expanse
undermined with puzzlement where multitudinous pinpoints of
light extended far into dark shadows unbeknownst to me childlike
wonder, & even mind boggling to one sexagenarian regarding deep
space comprising bajillion stars and stripes of various and sundry
animals and plants occupied where according to current scientific
understanding, the cosmos, or universe, is primarily composed of
three main components: normal matter (about 5%), dark matter
(around 27%), and dark energy (approximately 68%); with dark
matter and dark energy (drink) being the dominant constituents,
although their exact nature the stuff of an overactive imagination
such as mine conjured entities (especially more substantial when
edge of night crept across patch of property housed domain with
the address 2701 Lantern Lane, Audubon, Pennsylvania where
curious kid spent approximately the first half dozen years of his
life and hard time, and said residence I espied while returning
back to Schwenksville after the missus underwent minor routine
treatment (liquid nitrogen sprayed atop a dot over each to brow)
to stave off any potential future more serious issue with skin.

While sprawled comfortably
numb upon davenport
Iowa daily dose of poetic mishmash,
thus yours truly couches, kneads, sports...
his imponderable matted
swiftly styled balderdash
noah intent to kindle
potential ark enemy, nor abash
please pardon your
garden variety philologos,
preparing himself for backlash
he spouts nonsense words
with chutzpah and brash
his logorrhea affliction begets
meaningless rot i.e. namely ishkabibble,
where scapegoated test dummies crash
inscrutably, dumbly, busily blankly
boxing, blinking, batting... eyelash
hijacking, flouting, disregarding... covenant,
not causing corpus callosum damage
basically self made edict equals hogwash,
within one North American banana republic
predicated upon fiat gnash
trumpets blatantly non subliminal,
subordinate, subtle... ** hum
messages cuz bosh to liberty we smash
with most popular refrain
"send her/him back" cash
hearing purported dispensable
deportee with swash-
buck killing bravado
marquee, where klieg lights
blindingly broadcast in a flash.

"FAKE" mania loosed doth stall
refugees, where desperation witnesses
land of milk and honey,
perhaps some heading to Broomall,
(the hometown of Danny Bonaduce -
famous as a child actor of the 1970s
on the TV sitcom The Partridge Family)
who if necessary crawl
escaping forced *** trafficking poverty,
persecution, violence... downfall,
viz puppet government
tricked out noble (no bull) border wall
configured as demilitarized zone
hostilility spewing noxious,
poisonous, venomous gall
courtesy commander in chief
who essentially hoops to forestall
his impeachment proceedings
bristling, ranting, scathing... twitter feeds
spewing bosh raining hatred filled squall
spouting jingoistic rhetoric
atop anointed hall
of the mountain king
eerily similar to Taj Mahal
firing expletive epithets
assenting military mandating withdrawal
loosing vicious police and/or junkyard dogs
declaring no exemption against marshall
(mathers not for slim shady)
law innocence absolute zero guard
as sharp teeth nsync with flesh maul
cue hideous sinister laughter
welcome to danse macabre ball!