Analogous to fire breathing
puffed up imaginary dragon
(in a land called Honah Lee)
ye might rightly think
what the deuce
haunting spectre ace of spades
good fella aiming to be a poet all about,
meaning sexagenarian wordsmith,
this once upon a time jackanapes
presently decked out like cadaverous card

still sporting fine kingly raiment
and crown of thorns atop noggin
impossible mission
to disguise rapscallion mien,
nevertheless mine true harmless colors
glowingly dim meant shunned
buzzfeeding demonic, horrific
malefic tightly coiled asp
symbiotically fostering mein kampf
thru poisonous white fangs,

I strive and stride rite
to live life like good humor man,
until grim reaper
rocked my boat whose death on par
for an impractical joker,
after rigor mortis seized body electric,
hence burial at sea where mates
honored wish of mine on the briny deep
shipped overboard in a casket wrought of oak,
where (yes) grateful dead foo fighter

hoisted into Davy Jones' locker
after one last exhilarating heavenly ****
from potent Cannabis
and draught of stout ale
finally freed me from ills
of a morose lactose intolerant
impotent existence that did yoke
body and mind and set spirit soaring
like aircraft christened
Saint Louis mine being
riddled with angst.

When alive with the sound of music
and robust health
smitten with searing infatuation
to sow seeds of life and white lily
during jump/kick starting manhood,  
when hormonal secretions
found me being
naughty bit player for prime time
innocent untainted puppy love
concerning fecund (she),
the unbeknownst petty heartbreaker
with whom I fancied
and fantasized to pledge my troth
which hand of distressed damsel
never tested to fit mine like a glove,
nor sanctified debauched soul asylum demise
and death be not proud courtesy
Spiritus Mundi above.

Now gnarled arthritic fingers
and bowed back
these lovely bones severely jangled,
when cough that doth wrack
accompanied by thick choking phlegm
gagging yours truly
while lying supine on me deathbed
disrupted with torturous hack
panting like an overworked dog
even after the leash goes slack.

Every end of year
when auld lang syne sung
weather beaten formerly
well muscled skiff wrung
after being subjected
to whims of mother nature
cannibalistic headhunters
interestingly enough poked and prodded
buzzfeeeding me rawbits
eroded taste buds populating tongue

recorded global cuisine
avast webbed wide world
across all four directions of compass
found globetrotter huzzaing
experiencing evanescent,
concupiscent and acquiescent
aborigines far flung,
where couple females in particular
among the madding crowd
of barenaked ladies struck my fancy

amusing themselves with innocent
coy non verbal repartee,
where one in particular approached
with outstretched legions
of extensive alms,
where colorful amulets sported
to stave off superstitious
shrunken skull and crossbones
dangled and clung.

alternately titled: a literary retrospective when holiday times living hand to mouth in Penn Valley fraught with slim pickings and yours truly felt utterly miserable that nary a delivery from Santa Claus would be forthcoming.

Totally tubular nonfiction yup,
nevertheless I reflect
the year (arbitrarily plucked from misty past)
Santa Claus did not show up
courtesy imagination license
cruel as crippled poet panhandler
a cowboy wannabe holding on for dear life
with both feet held fast courtesy stirrup
tempted to storm of into the sunset
if misery did erupt
rattling his empty cup.

Though blink of time passed rather quick,
I still vividly recollect
midnight passed upon Christmas Eve
(circa December 24th, 2005)
with nary a ** ** ** from jolly Saint Nick,
nor sound of sleigh bells
no reindeer with packages he did not heave
omitting hurling gifts at 1148 Greentree Lane
as some cruel and nasty trick,
which prompted both progent

particularly youngest daughter did grieve
great disappointment absent merriment,
and surprises he would ordinarily flick,
whereby mystical magical tour would
burst with brilliance
like Jack Nimble's candlestick
spurred affirmation
analogous to brick
slamming into me noggin
in his presence to believe.

Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,
*****, Comet, Cupid and Blitzen
ordinarily light up anticipation,
instigating ear to ear grin
(especially provoking clattering hooves)
courtesy, exponentially, and factorially
heightened expectation generated,
viz foray into dark night sky
becoming brightest visible object
creating an audible, yet pleasant din

gracefully amazing this hypothetical papa,
would ordinarily deliver merriment well nigh
accept he forgot one important stop
perhaps trouble with cloven hoofed creatures
hmm... maybe lack of of feedstock
found precious priceless lass
with downcast chin,
and teardrops falling
heavily from each eye
inducing sharp pains

within this then mister meister mom
once a year self anointed secret santa
analogous feeling skin
pierced with sharp pin
most times one generally
happy go lucky guy,
whose heavy sinking heart
professing love (mine) could not win
reverberated hollow grief
as if Cupid's paramour made of tin.

I tried with futility to assuage melancholy
when Shayna Punim
(Yiddish פּנים ponem, from Hebrew פָּנִים panim)
(endearment for pretty face),
she did melancholically ask why
her mood cast dark shadows
across edge of night
illuminating the outer limits
of the twilight zone
(evoking artificial intelligent
graphic generated augmented
computer special effect)
as webbed, wide world

within outer limits of twilight zone did spin
along axis in gulf of infinite space
with lighting speed, he would punctually fly
no explanation suitable i.e.
from Kris Kringle pinch hitter
(alias yours truly),
since no where seen heft sack
of goodies makes supreme father pitiful sight
off his pedestal like
force of gravity impossible to defy
Humpty Dumpty myth I did belie.

While out Christmas shopping at Mall Of America with Our Spanky Gang of Little Rascals, who should we bump into but, Scrooge, Fezziwig, Fred, Bob Cratchit, Mrs. Cratchit,Tiny Tim, Jacob Marley main fictitious characters drawn upon under belly, of real life mid eighteen hundreds lowliest British (thermal unit) poverty stricken caste. Das scribe sketched out their soul full collective misfortune, without virtue, but plenti via a vice, which storied lives depicted (i.e. being penniless, dime a dozen, a day late, and dollar short penury) courtesy, sans prolific imagination of Charles Dickens “ Christmas Story”. They unexpectedly, uninhibitedly and unwittingly broke the binding loose after being bound within whirled wide web of make believe close to two hundred years. Freed from the paginated constraints (analogous to a prisoner, who broke free after long confinement to solitary confinement, when initially handed down life sentence for terroristic sabotage resulting in deaths per scores of innocent people), an utter lack of social graces immediately, plainly, and shockingly exhibited by various aggressive behavior. Crowd (then ground) control to Major Tom couched via heavy duty security details appeared helpless. The muddling, middling, maddening motley crue swarmed, rampaged, and quashed an attempt by the Police (who crafted a spurious Sting operation predicated on the baddest Beastie Boys Culture Club, who excelled at being Foo Fighters), which immediately appeared ineffective against a handful of raggedy, pesky, and nasty Marxist/Leninist lumpenproletariats. Helter skelter, mayhem and bedlam found these hoodlums, hooligans, hooting imps a indistinct English dialect. Even Tiny Tim showed braggadocio defying his lame physical state. Scrooge attested to be in seventh heaven, or the closest he would get. Despite total ignorance apportioned these anachronistic figments gross, heedless, insubordinate jubilant kooky lust (made manifest marrying narcissism ogling pricey quirky random  tchotchkes. Any civility escaped filthy hands hoisting incredibly jealous mannikins. Sir real quite peculiar phenomena overtook natural mundane lives. The growing horde of astonished onlookers (under a sheltering sky) made haste unsure if the ghost of Marley will scare away oblivious buyers (eyeing various and sundry widgets, trinkets, thingamabobs, knickknacks gimcracks, gewgaws, fribbery, bibelots baubles) where (timid) Tiny Tim (who tip toed thru the Tulips) frightened aggressive, purveyors of said merchandise. Insult against ideology, modernity, reality took a giant leap, who of all people, but The Merchant of Venice made a cameo appearance issuing forth asper a tempest in a teapot, a dome mass scandal, and danced the night away with the Ghost of Christmas Past, where the hallowed purposelessness purchasing presents per perps, squirts, twerps, et cetera essentially the intended  thread to weave warped  wonderment of mine, but (dippity and Scoobie) doo to a very bad hair day, my ability to communicate in a clear concise manner compromised sprung extremely flat limp follicles that usually puff up on the head (as big as a Soundcloud) of this GoDaddy, who will help fend off feisty Goo Goo Dolls.

After a hiatus of countless years
plus an additional
almost three months
since a major makeover,
(I experienced the magic
wrought courtesy
a bonafide big hearted
beautician at Salon Nova
located in beautiful
downtown Limerick, Pennsylvania

to render my straggly long hair
cut about twelve inches shorter),
whereby a mensch looked back at me,
a gorgeous reflection mirror reflection
yours truly returned to the mecca
Thomas Paine would feel right at home,
and surprisingly enough
a small number of attendees
at said name sake Unitarian Fellowship
nevertheless recognized me,

(and remembered my late mother
Harriet Harris,who passed away
twenty years ago come May 5th, 2025)
ushering yours truly courtesy older,
yet nevertheless familiar faces
while jesters tumbled and unrolled figurative
Scottish Tartan welcome mat
and provided a warm welcome.

As a small boy
parents of ours
(mine two siblings
included then and now,
an older and younger sister)
attended the Main Line Unitarian Church,
(a general hunch we regularly
made our appearance
at aforementioned site
during late 1960's early 1970's)
816 S Valley Forge Road, Devon, PA 19333,
when the then minister Mason McGinnis
facilitated the program.

Skads of decades,
née scores of years elapsed
since boyhood found me heading
(more accurately prodded),
thence shuttled to age appropriate classroom,
albeit informally structured learning environment.

Chronologically doddering oldest people
(such as fathers, mothers,
gray haired grandparents...)
plus young adults
bid their charges goodbye, albeit temporarily
as their younger kin got gently routed
to one out of quite numerous
ample size preschool/nursery room.

Infants, babies, young kids
i.e. most easily antsy, distracted, oblivious,
when days of our live young and restless
(unbeknownst to those recipients)
got their inchoate intellect sparked.

Their coerced, coddled (molly),
and coaxed... reluctance rewarded
(aside from with sweet treat)
courtesy lofty, mighty, nifty...
young rabbit ears raptly attuned
(most like a couple seconds maximum at most)
feigning listening at (iterated above)
Minister Mason McGinnis
who always gave rousing sermon.

If not him, perhaps a previously
scheduled guest speaker
enlightened, enhanced, enchanted... audience.

Nonetheless upon attaining mine prepubescence,
or thereabouts, (and most definitely
when yours truly crossed his horrendous,
perilous tumultuous wretched pubescent Rubicon
marking naturally ordained metamorphosis),
they abruptly ceased mandating
what both parents considered
(as well this middle aged son
recognized in retrospect –
cuz hindsight of mine always 20/20),
a golden opportunity to mingle,
and perhaps even (horrific as this reads)
befriend shy lads similar to yours truly.

I felt quite at home being attended, pacified,
pampered, and pulled up by bootstraps.

Without warning this baby boomer
invariably, suddenly felt shell shocked
and zapped courtesy post traumatic stress disorder
incurred while in utero.

Suddenly out of the blue,
paralyzing horror found this AARP eligible cardholder
aghast with fright as if scary
boogie woogie bugle boy monster mash
(with cooties) prowled premises on the lurch
to spring summat ploy.

Nightmarish visitations
while finding my religion
(crept along the edge of night
regarding dark shadows
from outer limits of twilight zone)
extolling virtues regarding return of native son
also witnessed me
being precariously hoisted,
and (analogous to dangling modifier)
suspended me in mid air by my own petard.

Basking in a supine position
with eyes wide shut
while the space heater churns out
fast moving molecules of heat
solitudinarian drowsy thinker fêted
by miniature fantasy
of tropical island paradise
accompanying and populating slumber
courtesy flickering, mesmerizing,
undulating barenaked native nymphs

tricked out as miniscule floaters
drifting across field of vision
striking atavistic memories,
where yours truly revels
within toasty warm bedroom
succumbing into deep sleep
resurrecting dormant primal hallucinations
redolent of Neanderthal forebears,
who huddled around the hearth
lo and behold discovery

evident after eldest sister of Harris tribe,
videre licet raw bits of genetic material
submitted saliva specimen
to 23andMe
since shut down by the FDA
because of the said
company's aggressive marketing
and refusal to resolve
outstanding data issues.

Impossible mission to stay awake
and fend off feeling sleepy
analogous to being drugged
not even long enough
to attend a yawning festival,
thus once upon a time
approximately half life
of Matthew Harris ago
indefatigable body of mine
weathered blistering fatigue
with endurance to dance the night away,
where lively contra dance music
played onstage and participants
tirelessly whooped up with energetic glee
experienced the equivalent headiness
linkedin with physical *******.

Now as a sexagenarian to boot,
who recently underwent a makeover
former trademark characteristic
of baby boomer no longer sports
talking head being hirsute
subsequently analogous to Samson
powerfulness of body,
no greater than a newt
while I lay me down to sleep
cerebral cogs and wheels troubleshoot
envisioning yours truly (me)
reincarnated donning myself

wearing a broad-shouldered drape jacket,
balloon-leg trousers,
and, sometimes, a flamboyant hat
decked out sporting,
what came to be recognized as zoot suit
generally worn by the following:
white Americans, police officers,
and U.S. Soldiers, the suits
became a symbol of excess,
anti-patriotism, and
anti-American sentiment,
as well as gang affiliation.

I get tired of being tired
hence ask the missus to make high test coffee,
which jolt of caffeine finds me wired
but back in the day
I acquired a gold card
patronizing General Nutrition Center
and bought one product in particular,
which affected me with outcome I desired.

And thus I crafted sub verse,
whereby yours truly conceives
poem titled Guarana Mo by Jeeves.

Most of the following (fictitious)
quintessential balderdash
ranks as sorry excuse for originality, writ
nevertheless mishmash qualifies
according to humble opinion of mine
reasonable rhyme for mediocrity,
benignly, essentially, and honestly to wit
to test skill at heart felt fabrication like me,
thus exempting bing considered, judged,

and labeled tubby unfit
wall henna burst of
playful tulles toy warren peace,
bawling contrived sketched
piddling potchking pusillanimous
Monty Python's Flying Circus twit,
this once upon a time pablum child,
aye practically spit
out (from inxs of carrot juice),

now dost daringly be hove
brave reeder to comprehend
as great literary endeavor
by this hare reed rabbit,
head, (non adult tryst) pit,
nor posthumous fame, worm ma obit
chew wary verbosely probably re:nouns,
abominable attempt as Unitarian
worthy reading material

so great English lit,
and moost unlikely tuff hind,
nor e'en garner this hare reed
ole Union Jack of a one hit
wonder poetic laureate,
nonetheless this (o'
waa hare did me bunny go),
perhaps to Britain endeavoring merely
to join United Kingdom.

Now let yours truly whoop
focus to address main intent,
(sans for quick pick me up)
and nary drop of coffee,
nope not even one molecule
to fill thimbleful sized cup
I reach for bottle of Guarana,
(one serving of
coffee per capsule)

fo' this aging pup,
who attests that caffeine
(liquid and/or
encapsulated), the sole vice
(except for barbiturates, *******,
"FAKE" opioid, et cetera),
which overdose nearly found me
nearly a grateful dead – thrice
occasions, where circumstances

of mouse self
(Stuart Little reincarnate -
with an insatiable craving for cheese
laced with Guarana, Paullinia cupana,
a climbing plant in the maple family),
which bean sized seeds
affordable at an acceptable price
many times larger than puffed rice.

assassinated at 10:50 PM,
on December 8, 1980
forty four years later to date
outside The Dakota Apartment,
(also known as the Dakota Apartments),
located at 1 West 72nd Street
in New York City, U.S.

After Mark David Chapman
unloaded five bullets in the back
with a .38 special revolver,
that son of a gun got his quarryman
and became eligible for parole
in 2000 after serving only 20 years
since said murderer felled legend:
he pulled the trigger of his firearm
at point blank range
brutally killing the most successful
singer/songwriter in history,

(whose collaboration with Paul McCartney)
bestowed double fantasy
and rendered instant karma
echoing his oft repeated refrain
across the universe
for the benefit of Mister Kite
"All we are saying is give peace a chance,"
a lyric from the song
"Give Peace a Chance"
by the late John Lennon and Yoko Ono,
which song when released in 1969

became an anthem
for the anti-war movement,
nevertheless even after
exactly three score years
since the Fab Four,
became famous in 1964
after their appearance
on The Ed Sullivan Show,
which elapsed time
seems like yesterday
to this day tripper (me)
who happened to be
just a beastie boy.

Upon hearing in utter disbelief over the telly
On December 8, 1980,
the breaking news videre licet
regarding the ******
of John Lennon, a member of the Beatles,
outside his New York City apartment building,
I felt numb standing stock still
in the kitchen
(within childhood home of mine)
at 324 Level Road,
and nearly found myself asphyxiating
as if trapped within a yellow submarine
buried within briny deep
courtesy stone(d) temple pilot.

Yours truly stormed out of the house
analogous to a stormtrooper
heading into the thick of battle
experienced being dazed and confused
espying a Led Zeppelin
in the front yard
after getting a closer look
I quickly realized parked guests
came from an alien nation,
which immediately prompted me
to avail myself to be abducted
courtesy unidentified anomalous phenomena

bidding goodbye to father and mother
quietly pleading... dear prudence
escaping the helter skelter amidst humanity
here, there and everywhere
wistfully envisioning a utopia
like dreamers do
able, eager, ready and willing
to embark upon a magical mystery tour
this fool on the hill,
a veritable nowhere man

feeling like nobody's child
psyching myself to be free as a bird
yearning to adopt fearlessness
after froggy went a courtin
jump/kick starting
far out and groovy kismet
to become a paperback writer
renown on par with aforementioned
famous British balladeer
but before taking fateful step

into dark shadows
hiding the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
I dashed off a short note
to family and friends,
and subsequently flagged down letterman
also asking please mister postman
to inform kith and kin
NOT to summon search party,
cuz yours truly hopes to frolic
amidst strawberry fields forever.

who suffered cuts by a thousand knives.

Even as old (dish) married
(spooning) curmudgeon,
who receives social security disability
linkedin with social anxiety)
chose the fork less traveled
aye pucker with sunken cheeks,
(especially without dentures)
and raspily suction toothless mouth
drawing reminiscent guffaws affecting
attempt impersonating plumber

(think suctioning and unclogging toilet)
please support your local ******
back in the day one
long haired pencil neck geeks palled
around with another
hirsute nerd - Roger Kummerer,
(who both of us graduated Methacton
High School class of 1977),
and yours truly readily
admitting, alluding, and attesting

without shadow of doubt
representing the dumber
than rocks of said beastie boys
bandits, donning particolored pachyderm
gabardine garb getup trumpeting,
especially as Mummer
on each New Year's Day
with bare *** tuchus
excellently imitating courtesy said orifice
(as chief motormouth) sound
of combo motorboat hummer.

Ah... the joys of amazingly aging gracefully
happily recalling never being
beat into ****** pulp dully
imagining dimming sense and sensibility
before (appearing gratefully dead)
lifeless body dumped into gully,
nevertheless all the while fully
maintaining conscious, and forcefully
summoning forth latent powers gleefully
choking living daylights masterfully

delivering just desserts upon Tom Viglione,
whose plaintive laments truthfully
resonate as blessed music
to ears unaccustomed hearing pitifully
sounding long overdue comeuppance
forever disbelieving wrongfully
perpetrated injustice
witnessed impossible mission
fueling an ordinarily meek lad
only in his dreams, he envisions zestfully.

Pugnacious thuggish hooligans...
although decades passed
(into the black hole sink
of space/time continuum)
long since elapsed, whereby hoodlums
jockeyed to rain upon the head
of yours truly,
who weathered figurative brickbats
by remaining analogous
to a deaf-mute person

one after another verbal blow
threatening introverted diminutive boy
who, no surprise did eventually,
albeit (stuntedly) grow
(as an aside resembled anorexic
Santa Claus **... **... **...)
still wracked, impacted, affected...,
this punster, he haint Joe
King, nor the Riddler, but upholds
valuable humor less or mo'

feebly, lamely, and quirkily aspires toward po'
whit tree linkedin with infusing,
(no matter ex post facto)
freeing mine unsung hero,
and perchance if I threw a judicious punch
(rearranging the face of thugs)
subsequently winning the respect
towards those beastie boys,
who would know better next time,
when they come back to town
than to tangle with the likes of me.

Amidst the **** sapien species
one anonymous baby birthed:
I recount one little known piece of news
which one young married couple did enthuse,
profusely doting on their first progeny.

Amelie Beth Harris
as imagined being born
courtesy her only brother
(thirteen plus months her junior)
with one final hefty contraction
her crown ****** out the birth canal
and she busted out all over
into the glare of bright lights
of said planned industrial city,
and birthplace
of American Industrial Revolution
and for its role in the silk industry.

Paterson originally formed
as a township from portions
of Acquackanonk Township
on April 11, 1831,
while the area
was still part of Essex County.

One hundred ninety three years
seven months and nineteen days later
touted persona grata
became the first born progeny
of Boyce Brandon Harris
and Harriet Harris,
which father and mother,
would soon relocate to
Cincinnati, Ohio where the author
of these words would be born.

As befits the eldest
lavish attention
bestowed upon said lovely baby girl,
whose parents pleasantly surprised
marveled at her verbosity
(to talk up a blue streak)
and even to this day
can sustain a dialogue,
though (to be honest
without intending to be critical),
she tends to strongly hint the crux
of the matter
long after listeners
intimate verbal objective,
nevertheless pretend
to be pleasantly surprised.

She kept her bedroom neat as a pin,
(which expression "neat as a pin"
an analogy that compares a thing,
or manner of maintaining a living space
to a pin being used)
no matter neither our father nor mother
easily mistaken for keeping house
in apple pie order,
(no matter domestic employee
Missus Kunkle's futile efforts
to tidy up once a week off times
and unknowingly committing
a serious offense for moving items

in Amelie's bedroom and dusting thereof)
and how could they with a few big dogs,
plus quite a few cats
to sew something up and make it neat),
and matter of fact I envied my "big sister,"
cuz she happened
to be exceptionally meticulous
taking notes for each respective class lessons,
and drew pertinent relevant diagrams
versus class notes that yours truly (me)
scribbled that resembled chicken scratch,
my apology for any unintended slight
toward Gallus gallus domesticus.

Her exemplary organizational skills
exhibited courtesy notebook
that sported color coded tabs
for each subject peppered
with an artistic flair (second to none -
the best or unmatched, and;
essentially establishing the phrase
as a way to express something
being superior to all others.

H-A-P-P-Y   B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y!

Vice linkedin to carnal flesh this writer,
(a married heterosexual ******, –
whose alter egos
named and highlighted courtesy
Gallant and Goofus) attones
to heat these lovely bag of bones
amazingly graceful human specimen
more so than required to generate clones,
whose jibber-jabber feeble poetic words
crafted for no particular rhyme nor reason
analogous to babbling drones
aging musculoskeletal physique groans

kvetching synonymously nsync
with (metronome like) tick tock
where alphanumeric, esoteric, and generic
garden variety alter kocker
(eons ago a foo fighting
beastie boy baby boomer) and/or like
kin himself to famous mummified Pharaoh
ala King Tutankhamun's moans
wrapped in long strips of linen,
indistinguishable among rolling stones
netting sometimes wrapped

each finger and toe individually
against many future unknowns
as the soul of mine traveled across cosmos
temporarily filling black hole sun,
and kerplunked across space/time continuum
easily mistaken for
pinteresting soundcloud virtual xylophones
providing an x uber rent lyft
along the edge of night
amidst dark shadows
to the outer limits of many twilight zones.

Hence, I will beg, borrow or steal loot
and make a fair trade
with a paperback writer,
who exudes profound wisdom
as keen philosophical thinker
oh no... no... no, this
non smoking bandit, nor drinker
will explain to police officer,
that me willingly doth plead
guilty as freshly showered stinker

without spectacles yours truly
can only blinker
if nabbed he
submissively relinquishes freedom
to do time inside
state of the art clinker,
where ample heat warms hoodwinker
covering mine rickety musculoskeletal,
while escorted to attend requisite
appointment with headshrinker
with the icy name of Mister Rinker.

Token Doubting Thomas here
resorted to life of
doggone petty crime without fanfare
for this common man
dirt poor bloke who doth air,
(not that anybody
will give a rat's a$$, nor care
a jot regarding me
squalid shiftless schlepper
bereft of a place to call home

anemic checking and savings accounts
with Citizens Bank
describes my financial welfare),
and similar to Scrooge,
(who mutters "bah humbug"
grossly dislikes Xmas time of year,
not always the case with yours truly,
cuz as a lad din
Southeastern Montgomery County
one cute as a button little boy with

short cropped strawberry blond hair,
(unadulterated, accursed and unbiased
opinion), aye declared
papa tricked out as Santa Claus
divine and stood bug eyed
while shopping with mother
and siblings amidst
madding crowd
(at the King of Prussia Mall)
then no living nightmare

not like today November twenty ninth
tooth how sinned twenty four
bajillion people angrily glare
with livid rage expect
whistleblower shrill shrieking
against crass consumerism thru air
courtesy bull-let-in aiming crosshair,
whereat vendors pushing merchandise
hooping he/she can scare
up brisk business, hence

caveat emptor i.e. buyer beware
aside from aforementioned
hypothetical scenario - I won't ever
overspend credit cards,
which profligate net spending
occurs within glorious land
of bilk and money
Amazon qua America OnLine,
the home of the free..., where
distribution of wealth very unfair.

Yukon still experience
enjoyment of beauty,
according to this poet
of Perkiomen Valley
with less sense and sensibility
than a baboon, or other naked ape,
cuz his pride and prejudice got in the way
while seeking love and friendship,
nevertheless he can bet
dollars to donuts (with glazed eyes)
without oneself spending themselves silly
garnering mountain due of debt

subsequently cue sax and violins
gently weeping (think guitar coming
unstrung at every fret),
thus... ya gotta get get
aware simple pleasures
experience mindfulness, such as
zipping across globe on private jet
hobnobbing with rich and famous,
then swinging by utmost secluded
unconventional monastery, and meet...
nun other than one cell bated abbott
cost 'ello to thine reverent Mother.

* - The exact origin of the British Thermal Unit (BTU) is unclear, but Thomas Tredgold, a British railroad engineer, is the closest person to being credited with its discovery. Tredgold's definition of the BTU was the quantity of pounds avoirdupois that would raise the temperature of a cubic foot of water by one degree Fahrenheit.

- The word "humbug" has been used since the 1700s to describe something or someone that is false or deceptive. It's also been used to describe a trick played on unsuspecting people. The word's exact origin is unknown, but some theories include: For example, you might say "Bah humbug!" if someone won't let children play catch on their lawn

I prefer to craft a poem
for no rhyme nor reason
expressing heartfelt pleasure
to our highly refined palate
versus presenting tasty, yummy
and zesty nutritious snacks
exuberant feedback courtesy Tik Tok.

Aside from harkening from Semitic stock
me and the missus
relish those (Katz) gluten free pastries
they give us the oomph to rock
and similar to powder milk biscuits
give us strength to do what needs to be done.

Though no intention to mock
popular Pop-Tarts
(stylized as pop•tarts),
an American brand of toaster pastries
produced and distributed by Kellanova
(formerly Kellogg's) since 1964,
which consist of a sweet filling
sealed inside two layers of thin,
rectangular pastry crust.

In 2006, Mrs Katz decided
to transform the world
of gluten free snacking
for her celiac children.

Eighteen years later,
she retains firm stronghold
courtesy word of mouth watering
salivating (videlicet) Pavlovian
salutary, masterly, hardy,
deliciously crafted wholesome food
clinching dominant market share
analogous to stronghold ala deadbolt lock,
a recipe distributors attempt
to steal by hook or crook,

yet unable to break down fortified doors
after they loudly knock
on one occasion
holding the bakers on their break hostage
pointing culinary harmless
imitation edible Glock,
nevertheless drawing attention
of media camera crews that flock
for breaking shipping news
that harbor standoff

with quasi narco traffickers,
intent to rebrand and sell
Katz TOASTER PASTRIES
as mucked up poor quality dogs treats,
where special op forces
heavily guard the dock
maintaining vigilance around the clock,
to prevent goods held as contrabands
and subject pastry chefs to intense torture
forcing unsung heros

to stay awake 24/7 blindfolded,
so as not to see miscreants,
where ingredients of goodies
sniffed, sifted, and scrutinized
by sophisticated chemical analysis,
and thus I now conclude
contrived fictitious poetic scenario
to share such helpful feedback
in a little ditty composed ad hoc
can boost sales for your company.

by: matthew scott harris

I (a lapsed milquetoast) experienced
a head splitting hellacious hangover.

I tried to be part of Cool And Gang by being "bad"
to the thoroughly good bone, er...
which trend followed me till man hood,
whereby this bloke still a cad
plus the most
embarrassing older hippy dad
where a shaved pierced pate egad
seems to be the latest fad
boot this nonestablishmentarian
feels more content with himself and glad
though as a precocious

whipper snapper of young lad
did act like "Curious George",
which found me late mum
and then octogenarian
widower father quite mad,
especially when breaking
into the liquor cabinet in me ***** pad
and nearly escaped by a scad
dad dull when the hide o me buttocks
whacked more'n a tad.

Though in a ******* party
rock n rolling crowd,
I (a kung foo fighter
beastie boy) felt alone
yea, as this chap looks back
on them daredevil days
(with behaviour bad to the bone
as iterated above),
and dealt with pounding in ma head
that caused me to groan
which mental sounds

of jack hammers
found this current teetotaler to moan
like the ghost of Marley or a whaler, whereby
even whisper down the alley
or over the phone
also affected me skin tone
to become altered
into an unstoppable
red bullish twilight zone
tortured courtesy MALEVOLENT MENTAL Maelstroms -
doggone hounded me while in a drunken stupor

videlicet - I taste a liquor never brewed (214)
courtesy Emily Dickinson
1830 –
1886
I taste a liquor never brewed –
From Tankards scooped in Pearl –
Not all the Frankfort Berries
Yield such an Alcohol!
Inebriate of air – am I –
And Debauchee of Dew –
Reeling – thro' endless summer days –
From inns of molten Blue –
When "Landlords" turn the drunken Bee
Out of the Foxglove's door –
When Butterflies – renounce their "drams" –
I shall but drink the more!
Till Seraphs swing their snowy Hats –
And Saints – to windows run –
To see the little Tippler
Leaning against the – Sun!

Fiendish and gruesome
phantasmagoric egomaniacal denizens
dwelt deep inside
subterranean uber vault
performed an evil contra dance
haunted psychic landscape
with imaginary (yet realistic)
gargoyle visitations that cast a macabre trance
nocturnal unconscious invaders of the lost Ark
cavorted and gallivanted
disturbed quiescent sleep
with devilish and sinister prance.

Apparitions crept stealthily
into peaceful slumber receptacle
repository, whence illusory landscape of dreams
took place to rejuvenate
exhausted body, mind and spirit triage
rented asunder blissful sleep with a startled fright
cold sweat drenched
nighttime garments and bedding
teeth chattered uncontrollably
heart pounded loudly inside chest
nightmarish phantoms
wrought an awful ghoulish sight.

Mushroom cloud anniversary
triggered frenzied gargantuan hallucination
seventy nine plus years ago today
inauguration into atomic age took place
one country after another sought
to acquire demonic and destruction devices
to maintain self-preservation
in this surreal atomic weapons race
impossible mission to escape the dark threat
that looms and threatens life on earth
one launched missile
spells extermination across entire global space.

No escape from humankind military machines
munitions march mean madness
death by a thousand cuts
flesh deboned courtesy knife
and guaranteed demise to all life
**** sapiens violent history
of bias, intolerance and/or prejudice
characterizes vicious warfare
and chronic species strife
legacy for future,
(and perhaps alien) archeologists,
who will sift thru civilization
debris with delicate as birthing a newborn
with assistance by midwife.

Artifacts buried in a heap
of pulverized and radioactive ash
civilization monuments and hedonistic symbols
gone in a blinding brilliant flash
irksome flotsam and jetsam
spewed into outer space
alien nations light years distant
collect miniscule bits and pieces
offer object lesson as extinction
for beings that become excessively brash.

As a way to bury wounded knees,
free guilt sans
being psychologically trapped,
and wrath of my strict parents,
I imagined awaiting an eternity
for my modified sentence
against being secular humanist
individualist, minimalist, nihilist...,

no way to dodge
fiat decreeing penal solitude
for this rambling future man,
who felt unready to kick the can
on account of violating ban
against abominable illegal mandate
with no way to commute death sentence
for the simple act of voicing opinion

against existence of heavenly gate,
nor hellish underworld
despite religious ****** decreeing penance
spurious pedagogical poetic rant
not the ravings of some half mad lunatic
carefully plotted recitation that springs
from combined teachings of Kant
and jolly old Saint Nick

charges ******* up
per this average don
purportedly flagrantly
decrying and blaspheming
Judeo-Christian paradigm
proselytizing devout believers
with disenchantment blind faith no more
equated with hill of beans upon,

which dogma erected epitomized
by complex edifices via grime
sweat and tears from slave labor,
where usurpation of freedom won
until outspoken spokespersons
risked life and limb
to invalidate the existence
of supreme deity who created life

whether for extra credit
or perhaps on a whim
Adam from whose rib cage
without anesthesia but razor sharp knife
sported Eve with a physique
quite pleasing and trim,
but rather than get lost
in the garden of Eden myth

final seconds of existence tick away
without intent to recant statements
solely acceptable to B'nai B'rith
prompting last words of mine as oy vey
with no regrets - deeming heart
of religion flimsy as pith
thing in the wind or house of cards
vulnerable to blow away.

Though ma mum deceased nineteen and a half plus years ago, and thine papa inching closer toward the inescapable clutch of the grim reaper (when these words typed – he long since passed October 7th, 2020), I revel to be a conscious individual despite the torturous road from those perilous days of yore er rather mine earlier formative pages when the strong armed lance of ignorance jabbed me with toad dull ambivalence evolving from the fusion of two cells after froggy went a courtin.

HANDMADE FROM (the genes of) BOYCE AND HARRIET HARRIS -
(free versatile poetry my atypical mode (modus operandi) at describing, introducing, and decoding myself).

How apropos and divine to stumble (merely by happenstance) across a chance to claim my (virtual) fifteen minute fragments of fame just in the click and nick of time.

Although gainfully unemployed (do to a series of unfortunate events that now finds me receiving social security disability), I can still vividly visualize utter despair and vouchsafe to acquire the requisite trappings emblematic of psychic misfortune.

Indelible, permanent and unfading abysmal damaging domestic dynamics got etched deep upon the memory of this erstwhile individual.

The general gist in the form of quick brush strokes (namely written) of psychologically traumatizing recollection now follows.

I can attest to malevolent mean-spirited objections by my father (and late mother) in regard to my grossly unacceptable attire, deportment and work ethic.

Nonetheless, a sense of righteous vindictiveness manifested itself thru attendant Pyrrhic victories.

Back in those days I (a married grown adult male and considerably past the age of rebelling against authoritarianism - and also their one and only not so prodigal son) poorly wore the mantle and staff of supposed maturity.

Lack of compliance and obeisance with regulations and rules of the Harris household (mainly thru being in constant denial to conform, maintaining emotional detachment and estrangement and evincing little or no concern for other family members) brewed, festered and lied dormant during prepubescence.

The pressure and tension between and betwixt genetic kinfolk (so palpable one could sense an indomitable barrier), would rank as successfully dysfunctional way before such nom de guerre became in vogue.

Fury and wrath became markedly and noticeably pronounced once exiting the storied four walls of high school.

The venomous barrage and fusillade spewed forth from off parental tongues at an exponential rate and on a par to feeling the stinging cudgel of a horsewhip.

Out of fear and timidity, I consequently and silently absorbed cruel treatment.

Neither the eldest nor youngest sibling bore witness against the tender spirit of their only brother.

A façade as of a hardened (statue) conveniently adopted.

This embodiment poorly served to fend off the onslaught of incessant anger.

This defense mechanism (identified as passive aggressive by mom) offered miniscule protection as I mentally dodged lobbed insults and affected defiance (in league like poisoned blackened bards and daggers hurled) of said threats and ultimatums.

No matter these bitter pills of blaring character assassination (mine), denunciations, fulminations, incriminations, intimidations, vociferous vocalizations (by said parents), I stood the shifting sands characterizing my ground at playing the deaf mute, which repression and internalization of emotional maelstrom only caused self contamination and manifestation of humiliation.

They (dad and mom) became further angered and inflamed per my total oblivious stance.

This reaction added insult to injury.

Deliverance per tough love lessons amplified to the tune of additional feats at becoming excoriated, ranted and raved against this, that and the other of my habits and nonchalant indifference to pursue work.

Those involuntary, unrehearsed and vicious family chats happened to be replete with heavily exploding and uncorked anger.

That (of course) would be a considerable understatement.

Dad (the de facto, elected and nominal spokesperson for unpleasant chest thumping exclamations - which conveniently took place no earlier than the stroke of midnight - emphatically swore (adrip with dramatic livid rage - like rabid beast) all manner of vulgarity and demanded from this insolent appearing male offspring immediate compliance.

Defiance and fatigue offered him that predictable and usual blank stare upon hearing the kind and lenient sentence to pack bags and GET OUT!

With the dreaded approach of dire and sealed fate (played out in this overactive imagination of mine with dad and mom fiendishly and grotesquely expunging themselves of any last vestige personal belonging), I most anxiously bided my time.

Those next couple weeks forced self-evaluation of Atheism, while I hunkered down in my bedroom.

The recurrent consideration of relinquishing nonestablishmentarian paradigm in favor and lieu with God, miracles and salvation seemed to clash with being this liberal thinker.

As indicated, the tempest and tirade quickly got turned back upon those who so masterfully tormented this second born, whose steadfast stoicism and subservience to a higher power perchance brought a temporary respite.

That hollow deadline, (which happened to be just one of many similar sputtering swearing valuations of love) blithely came and went without incident - no matter expletive filled intense oath to remove self from premises at 324 Level Road) continued to keep pulsating to remain an occupant with kinfolk.

What caused especial ire and wrath to fester (per this apparent ambivalence, indifference and nonchalance for me to take any job - even shoveling **** - particularly within the emotional bedrock and firmament of deceased mother) constituted remembrance and vivid reminder of her father.

My maternal grandfather (Morris - Moshe - Kuritsky) supposedly never paid much heed to regular and steady employment (to support his four children and wife) despite his skill as a harried styled swift tailor.

Hence my mother (Harriet) grew up and lived in utter destitution and poverty.

Mother subsequently reacted with ferocious vindictiveness upon witnessing a near magic transformation of near identical behavior in Matthew - the single heir to the family name.

I avoid alcohol
yet still have a ball
when the bell of inquisitiveness doth call
this mindful male toward productive pursuits
rather than fall
prey to temptations of vice only deliver gall
down the unmarked hall
of future time,
as likened to evade the maul
from some ferocious beast
or an urgent plight to retch
ideally within a toilet stall
perhaps faded splattered by stains on the wall
of other anonymous imbibers - good day y'all.

lurks within the outer limits of cyberspace,
where dark shadows eclipse edge of night
indistinguishable from the twilight zone.

Within the Internet binary size weavers loom
shuttlecock whizzes (analogous to a bad mitten)
at speed of greased lightning warp speed
weaving courtesy electronic webbed wide world
snaring and snagging
poor schlemiel or schlimazel,
videlicet snazzy convincing culprit,
who gets figuratively sucker punched
courtesy malevolent scoundrels
(devoid of moral scruples)
to mimic legitimacy
subsequently scam without misgivings
(but exude untrammeled glee)
preying upon vulnerable particular populations
such as the elderly and infirm.

Victim services of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
helped me recoup one hundred Benjamins,
whereas gofundme page
(I jimmied up for myself)
wrought nary a handy dandy blues clues
restitution, and passage of time
failed to help me shake off loss
financial windfall garnered
from shifty eyed weasley wiseacres,
who managed to usurp without a hitch
manifold times more than a ***** dozen
designated dollar denomination
with President Grover Cleveland's face

and yours truly (me) continues to chide himself
for significant sucker punches
to solar plexus of mine
still smarting when analogous hackers
tricked the writer of these words
into zombified, hypnotized, bamboozled...
approximately seventeen plus months ago
when venal hucksters
hacked into Macbook Pro laptop,
an older model before purchasing current
MacBook Pro (Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015)
and left absolute zero trace of their whereabouts
a fly by night scampering posse if thieves.

I think back to that diabolical
hectoring kafkaesque purgatory,
and replay the mental tape
before yours truly (me)
blindsided (even while wearing eyeglasses
that offered 20/20 insight),
nevertheless acting as if controlled remotely

behavior of mine at the mercy of one
who called himself Harvey Specter
(invariably he touted other pseudonyms
to avoid identification)
while he coached one after another
of his brainwashed subject
cursed like an automaton.

Argh! I decry being a "Dummkopf"
and stupidly followed gentle commands
to drive to the nearest ATM,
(which happens to be an MP gas station
located at 125 Gravel Pike,
Collegeville, PA 19426),
wherein I converted nearly
every last red cent
from Citizens Bank accounts
into  a kind of digital payment,
or cryptocurrency namely;

Bitcoin (the first decentralized cryptocurrency.

Nodes in the peer-to-peer bitcoin network verify transactions through cryptography and record them in a public distributed ledger, called a blockchain, without central oversight.

Consensus between nodes is achieved using a computationally intensive process based on proof of work, called mining, that secures the bitcoin blockchain. Mining consumes large quantities of electricity and has been criticized for its environmental impact.

After buzzfeeding
one large denominational bill after another
into the maw of the mute cash
banking my virtual wallet
also known as a digital wallet
bulged at the seams,
which constitutes software-based system
that stores payment information and allows users
to make purchases without physical cards or cash)
signed, sealed and delivered
to aforementioned scoundrel.

Nest egg of mine
(mostly lifetime monetary accumulation
of birthday or holiday gifts
scrupulously saved for dotage
of me and the missus)
mere chump change
of a crack (drug) dealer,
but never enough remaining years,
thus mein kampf forever
an impossible mission
to feel free and clear of penury,
cuz social security disability the saving grace
allowing, enabling and providing
fiscal ways and means
to avoid being homeless.

He seeks (in tandem with the missus)
legal asylum in Canada...
New Brunswick, Newfoundland,
Nova Scotia, et cetera,
or any other socially
progressive European country,
and seriously ponders said scheme
to exit (stage door left) living social
within these United States,
when four score
plus days and seven minutes
from today November 19, 2024...

signals implementation of Project 2025:
Anyway said fantastical idea
to escape a worse fate
than the wrath of Kong
and dismemberment of vital
social security disability services I receive,
Medicare, and electronic benefit transfer  
videlicet an electronic system
that allows state welfare departments
to issue benefits
via a magnetically encoded payment card
used in the United States.

No matter above iterated illusory pipe dream
essentially offers absolute zero probability    
absent slim or fat chance
would find yours truly to plotz
if whimsical far fetched notion
constituting the stuff whet dreams are made -
namely how to expedite
spontaneous modus operandi to emigrate,
which initially materialized
(1003 days, 9 hours, and
32 minutes before 2024 election),
many months actually

more than a couple years before Trump
in league with Elon Musk took victory lap,
especially days before 2024 presidential election
swindled electorate by hook or crook,
one severely anxious American senior citizen,
now steels, girds, braces... himself,
while streaming media services
bridging, fording, navigating...
potential violent political malevolent maelstrom
in the offing since... Revolutionary War
finds nonestablishmentarian comfortably numb
currently sequestered within apartment unit b44.

Maybe good samaritan
would sponsor me
(affable wordsmith afflicted with anxiety)
and the loving wife,
I can imagine emigrating to the
second largest country in the world
on par with dying and being reborn
into idyllic and Edenic afterlife.

Lifelong Pennsylvania opportunistic resident
desirous to move away from capitalistic bust
mein kampf, a miserable existence
peppered, pockmarked, punctuated...
with adversity - subtracting instances
being exponentially nonplussed,
(which lifelong mental health
analogous to psychological rust)
leaves mine lovely bones
in (melancholy) dog I trust
eventually repurposed into ash

(since I will choose cremation)
an increasing eco-friendly choice,
cuz burial with casket and tombstone clash
with holistic humble paradigm,
but before transitioning into lifeless body,
an impetuous notion arises, a flash
in the pan far fetched whim
to craft reasonable rhyme
communicating intent to live abroad
amidst one of ten provinces

and three territories
constituting Canadian federation,
which genuine motive not emblematic
of huckster nor fraud,
nevertheless one run of the mill
garden variety **** sapien flawed
yet he aims to dwell with citizens who applaud
voluntary simplicity likened and linkedin
belonging and hallmark characteristics
kickstarted intentional community,

where self sufficiency touted,
and physical labor de rigueur,
which lifestyle change
would rank as welcome adjustment
versus housed within Highland Manor
a quite reasonable single bedroom facility
yet devoid of stimulation
enervating body, mind spirit triage
of one ordinary human
who finds himself a mystery

within terrestrial firmament
and frequently feels in a feverish pitch
as tempus fugit whips
him around the sun
at a furious dizzying speed,
while he tenuously grips
with blistered hands
gripping sharp outcropping,
meanwhile his spindle shank legs splayed
and sprawled haphazardly across
the bombed out war zone.

Rather than get further
bogged down with inane zeal
I best steer clear
of further poetic poppycock
courtesy imaginary wheel,
thus the following pablum I unveil
nsync with titled malady all to real,
which plight involves hyperhidrosis
quite a debilitating ordeal,

especially when thinking
to pursue gainful employment
emphatically steadfast
and honest think (me,
a foo fighting beastie boy) leal
course this humble poetic communiqué  
communicates (hyperbolically) embodiment
ideal if seeking to gain insight how I feel
about myself, a tense body
inept to perform handspring or cartwheel.

I bought from Staples earlier today
November 18th, 2024
cuz the the older one malfunctioned.

Said older generation mouse sported
a rather extensive "mouse cable,"
one end of which ended
in a standard connector
namely a USB (Universal Serial Bus),
which plugged into the Macbook Pro computer.

Though the aforenamed laptop
equipped with a small square panel
containing different touch-sensitive areas
linkedin with cursor movement.

I much prefer to manipulate
that amazing hand-held device
detecting two-dimensional motion,
and translates "planar motion"
into cursor movement,
and yours truly (me) particularly elated
after quickly jimmying electronic
palm size pièce de résistance
to function without a hitch.

As part of an ARPA-funded experiment
to find better ways for computer users
to interact with computers,
Douglas Engelbart of SRI—
who would later work
on the DARPA-sponsored
ARPANET project,
the Internet's precursor—
invented the computer mouse.

Perhaps growing up
and attending public school
within Lower Providence, Pennsylvania
where quaint accoutrements
like blackboard and chalk
(and a daily volunteer -
ofttimes a teacher's pet - NOT ME
(hashtagged as a pestilence)
satisfactorily wiped the slate clean
for another day).

Matter of fact, I barely completed
twelve years of education,
where cribbed writing of mine
wrote illegible scratch marks
(mostly drawing blanks),
when examinations got handed out.

In retrospect, the much younger me,
(whether as a little boy, prepubescent,
older teen, and even as an emerging adult)
lived a quite sheltered life totally oblivious
to any danger field), and allowed, enabled
and provided himself to be mollycoddled
much against the objection
of a father and mother, and even myself,
whose pledge of allegiance
to passive aggressive behavior
wore patience thin

toward their singular male offspring,
whose unnatural control
of his (mine) spontaneity
in tandem with suppressed healthy predilections
essentially stunted emotional, mental
and physical growth and maturation.
Ofttimes, especially when trying to coax
extemporaneous good humor
constituting mine introspective mien
synonymous with mean during little boy

(think quintessential generative
artificial intelligence realm
where chatbot accidentally waxes philosophical
randomly and unthinkingly
displaying creative binary agility )
surfaces to level of consciousness
a mindset awakens
(particularly when attempting to evince
a playfulness crafting literary endeavors)
analogous to the impetuousness of a child,
whose innovative spirited "joie de vivre."

where sorely needed precipitation
necessitates affected population
to perform a collective rain dance
(decked out in electronically smart frippery)
24/7 and 7/52 weeks a year
defies even the most adept meteorologists
(equipped with special magical powers)
to deliver nothing short of a biblical deluge
makes them (the weather forecasters)
appear as motley fools,
when mother nature

presents herself insync
(and well deserved
to be crookedly pilloried)
with handy dandy
blue skies as an affront
even garnering wrath
of Kong and sons of Kanute,
but more horrifically
evincing absolute zero happenstance
to release bucketfuls
of sought after requisite

moisture from the sheltering sky
prodding conspiracists
to put earth in the balance
with the uncomfortable truth
to beg the military intelligence
to draft schematics
to ***** at least one humongous lance
fired away with a half sashay
subsequently poking holes
in the cloudsource,
or as an extreme measure

firing nuclear missiles
high in the atmosphere perchance
hitting hard and knocking
sense and sensibility
in the mindscape of the gods
and goddesses of rain,
(needed to mill whole wheat flour,
raised in the rich bottomlands
of the Lake Wobegon river valley
by Norwegian bachelor farmers,
and are often described

being "pure, mostly"
and "good for you"
due to their whole wheat composition)
or more accurately affecting,
(albeit rendering, and delineating)
countless names representing
aforementioned invisible supernatural beings
(considered inviolable and sacred
and worthy of worship)
into dental sent trance.

In an effort to expound
upon intent to brainstorm
regarding an outrageous modus operandi
to quell the dearth for rain
or synonyms of said word
encompassing Earth, a planet third
nearest from the sun
I, a long in the tooth
and formerly indentured servant

also notate that
temperatures considerably warm
for November, October and September
rounding out two thousand and twenty four,
where climate change
(read warming) in full swing
(your partner round and round),
though mild temperatures
diminish heating expense,
(in conjunction with LIHEAP,

I qualify for PECO's CAP Rate program,
a discounted rate
for residential electric
and gas customers with low incomes),
thus far HVAC unit never turned on
only the LASKO
portable tower heater model 5144
accessed to take out the chill
in our one bedroom apartment
here at Highland Manor.

when president elect Donald John Trump
sworn in vowing to accept the following pledge.
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm)
that I will faithfully
execute the Office of President
of the United States,
and will to the best of my ability,
preserve, protect and defend
the Constitution of the United States,"
whose surprise come from behind
winning as commander in chief
ten days after Tuesday, November 5, 2024
doth stymie and stump
the writer of these words,
who would much prefer leader
of our free webbed wide world
a character like Forrest Gump.

I find myself dumbfounded
and not trying to be a smart ***
foo fighting generic humble
sitting on his ****,
nevertheless, I rather imagine
(fire breathing snapping) dragon,
whose known fearsomeness clearly recognized
versus accompanying, (albeit riding shotgun)
in his swiftly tailored
harried stylied customized reo speedwagon
freshly minted forty seventh president
as he cozies up
with top three notch totalitarian rulers
of the webbed wide world
such as Ali Hosseini Khamenei,
Vladimir Putin, and
Kim Jong Un for starters.

Soon - once dominion wrought
upon peoples of these United States
freedom of life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
will find inalienable rights
enshrining Declaration of Independence
and Constitution well taut
flag rent internecine conflict
pitting free soilers against slave owners

and rendered all for nought
countless young lives sacrificed
upon hallowed ground,
where vicious battles fought,
and feverishly achieved
courtesy unimagined beastie boys
nsync with cutting crew
witnessed progressive solutions
with grievous social issues,

but now that big bad Don
secured a majority
of 270 electoral votes
required to elect as POTUS,
(and did you notice absent
accusation of rigged elections?),
where gubernatorial celebrants
swigged one after another draught
of legitimacy to lampoon

anybody and everybody at will
invariably kindle sophisticated wordsmiths,
who possess an incisive wit and wisdom
would showcase their adroit skill
in their zeal to fulminate
against self appointed
dictatorial henchmen as bitter pill
wickedly spewing phlegm out nostril
demanding theatrical performances

attendance required or else
lest one get hashtagged as linkedin
with subversive nasty happy horsesh*t
as stipulated in their handbill
addressed to each person
electronically and courtesy hard copy
individually courtesy autofill
utilizing a generic template
to pronounce all future edicts.

Away thinly veiled threats
to wreak havoc
and foment spoiled Christmas
for the next four years,
whereby maybe Santa
in league with reindeer and elves
can arrange for Cruella
to feign being his long lost sis
before he gets his bear size paws
on documents painstakingly drafted

against British sovereignty
over fate of thirteen colonies
to relish contra dancing
at all hours of the day and night
(watch for ContraCopia
Saturday, November 30, 2024 -
2:00 pm until 11:00 pm)
where all proceeds go
to raise fiddler on the roof
atop complex edifice,

where wild asparagus throve,
and swallowtail butterflies
flitted to and fro, hither and yon
totally oblivious, judicious,
fractious, capricious, and adventitious
dramatic changing of the guard
upholding fledgling recipe for
Norwegian bachelor farmers
forefathers/mothers to jump/
kick started democracy.

to become affianced to the grim reaper,
who never promised me a rose garden
nor crystal clear pool of fragrant delight
to accompany last living breath
before succumbing into black hole sun
re: the void of nothingness
with absolute zero remembrance of things past.

Suicidal ideation in tandem
with purposelessness
(nihilistic existentialism exponentially
increasing since my halflife ago),
and most importantly
cursed with flat limp hair,
which serious crisis undermines reason
to write reasonable poetic expression
spurs the notion to traverse consciousness,
and painlessly segway
into the hereafter
(and maybe reincarnated into a heifer)
on a broken wing and a prayer.

No glorious notion of heaven
(nor belief in some omnipotent supreme creator,
who will be instrumental
uniting those meeting their demise)
with dead souls doth explain
zealousness toward what happens to human body
very soon after they – give up the ghost
(second person singular) and die,
yet intimation fostered
linkedin to dulling senses of mine,

that allow, enable,
and provide means to see or hear,
cuz already at threescore and five
revolutions clocked around the sun
post January thirteenth
two thousand and twenty four
increased insightfulness brings to mind,
a quickening uptick courtesy senescence
whereby aural and visual deterioration occur
at what appear faster clip

than when I happened to be younger
within the lovely bones of this sensate being,
who finds himself sensitive to loud sounds
discovered audiological test administered
hearing loss at extreme high and low ranges
similarly recognizing even the largest sized letters
on the Snellen eye chart
fraught with greater difficulty
particularly without wearing corrective eyewear.

After querying Google concerning a medical term for hearing loss of high and low frequencies, the closest response came back as follows.

While there isn't a single, universally accepted term for hearing loss affecting both high and low frequencies, it would typically be described as a "mixed frequency hearing loss" or "broadband hearing loss" on an audiogram, indicating significant hearing loss across a wide range of frequencies, including both high and low tones.

Before acquiescing to the afterlife,
I bolster maximum body, mind and spirit triage
aware declining senescence
affects physical, mental and spiritual well being
what fluke roll of the genetic dice throw
wrought yours truly (me),
whose latent potential
hijacked (to Cuba) thyself,
an anomaly sexagenarian

forever stunted socially courtesy
courting The Pale Horseman
when just a lad
of approximately a dozen years
of longevity since being born
thirteen days into
the first month of nineteen fifty nine,
when according
to most Western cultural interpretations,

being born on January 13, 1959,
would not be considered
particularly auspicious or unlucky;
it's simply a regular birthdate
with no inherent positive
or negative connotations
associated with it in mainstream beliefs.

Perhaps, cuz I (the male offspring
from both deceased parents,
especially my father –
the renown Chemist B.B. Harris,
and to a slightly lesser extent
the late culinary cuisine queen
Harmit Harms Kuritsky -
the gal whose troth he pledged
while holding some
bubbling sinister looking flask in hand
on their first guinea pig type date
encouraged incurred genetic yen
that burned from without the buns of this son)
possesses a pyromaniacal streak,
no surprise cremation would be my choice
of post life treatment videlicet
mine grateful dead as a doornail
cadaver formerly yours truly.

Believe it or not, a dead doornail is actually a thing. It's a medieval carpentry term for a nail that's been “clinched” — hammered into a door with any protruding part hammered flat. It wasn't going anywhere, making the doornail “dead” and unfit for future use.

though he played only a cameo role
helping me secure corrective eyewear I sport

mucho gratitude to all parties involved
including the missus,
cuz she needed to shuttle me
to and from hither and yon,
wherever I needed to go,
cuz entire bill paid
(including thorough examinations and lenses -
the frames repurposed

from one used many moons ago)
courtesy AETNA Medicare Advantra
in tandem with superb
ocular optometrist Doctor Paul Halpern,
that would be an unpaid for plug
touting outstanding kickass knowhow
insync with his offbeat good humor
without making a spectacle of himself.

Many insightful revolutionary breakthroughs
linkedin to gamut of intelligent people,
whose exhaustive mental,
physical and spiritual efforts
witnessed visually impaired
(shortsightedness affected wordsmith
since he entered second grade
at Eagleville Elementary School
circa approximately mid nineteen sixties)
and anticipated him being called
mildly derogatory name four eyes,
thus withheld donning glasses
at the expense of lackluster marks

for that half year, cuz parents moved
to 324 Level Road
initially R(oute) D(elivery)
until Donald Neilson
(if memory serves me
more correctly than spelling
of his surname, and "The Idler Wheel
Is Wiser Than the Driver of the *****
and Whipping Cords Will Serve You
More Than Ropes Will Ever Do" by Fiona Apple),
and yesterday November 12th, 2024
happily, proudly, and zealously wears glasses
to see the webbed wide world crystal clear.

Post cataract surgery,
about couple months
after consultation  at Kremer Eye Center
and finally came to figurative juncture
whereat (drum roll please...)
prescription adjusted eyeglasses
now sit squarely on my button nose -
as long as I hold them there with a finger
until cosmetic surgeon affixes a bump
on the bridge of said nose

analogous to the song titled
I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
(courtesy Johnny Nash,
who raked in quite a bit of cash)
to drive our 2020 Hyundai Elantra
after dark shadows slink and slither
along the edge of night
encompassing an ever widening berth,
where the outer limits
meld with swathes of the twilight zone.

Despite being a nineteen year old bride
she wed Boyce Brandon Harris
half a decade her senior,
(where I ranked less than a twinkle in their eyes)
during the month of June 1955,
not quite half a century later ~ May 4th, 2005
death severed the pledge she did troth
linkedin wifely role,
cuz against her will she died
at most four weeks to be more exact
golden wedding anniversary never witnessed
raging against accursed grim reaper
countenance succumbed into collective sorrow

life force forever absent snatched away,
yet magically transformed
into the breathing edenic idyll
courtesy green thumb of eldest sister of mine
once livingsocial mother of ours
invoking trademark contagious l'chaim
flickering aura, charisma, instant karma
persona could not hide mommy dearest
physically eclipsed after
rigor mortis displayed deathly pallor
bonafide grateful dead
signed, sealed and delivered
human cargo into crematorium.

Born November 13th,1935,
the presence of long since deceased mother
her absence acutely recounted on said date,
no matter familial relationship between us,
who begat yours truly (me)
fraught with antipathy,
especially when writer of these words
felt he long overstayed his welcome
as I racked up living with parents
while being a long haired
pencil neck baby boomer geek
experiencing dating women for the first time
courtesy thursday night contra dance.

Books ravenously digested
and female protagonists he brood
as an illusory substitute for this dude
whose retreat into his bedroom
kindled like tinder unidirectional family feud
and donned Samson guise as a protective hood,
whereby Beatle browed,
foo fighting literate philosophical thinker
envied groovy hippies of the late nineteen sixties
riffing lyrics of fab four
fabled melody of Hey Jude,
where testosterone laden fantasies
triggered whet dreams housed lewd
seminal urges pestering spouse,
who offtimes rarely in the mood
for a quickie with the dickie.

Mein kampf as a thirty plus year old groom
test teasing prophylactics embarrassing
purchase never made at local drugstore
unsurprisingly, obviously, invariably...
birth control taboo subject, best to ignore
subsequently ******* awkwardly coordinated,
consummated, completed extempore
synonymous with ******* fulfillment
gonadal hormonal secretion
on par with the mythic sheet with a hole
through which ***** and archaic  
as modus operandi methodology
maternal grandparents supposedly copulated,
hence bun in the oven between self
and future missus Matthew Harris
wrought premarital *** bon jure.

I trot out essential tidbits of poem
acknowledging birthday of dear ole mom,
who succumbed to deadly terminal illness,
she lost lease on life, and met her demise
sooner than indomitable will clamored to live
approximately nineteen and a half years ago
from May 2024, who frequently asked me,
but never received acknowledgement
during her livingsocial years did abjure
(as the sole son)
communicating HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Impossible aery mission
to pinpoint when advent of zygote
triggering miraculous bitta bing bitta bang,
whence deoxyribonucleic acid wrote
legacy of mortal maternal demise
only a hunch backed up
that mystery to unleash
feral fiendish fornication once smote
yielded unicellular spore
while in utero ~ early/mid

February I ain't exactly sure
nineteen hundred thirty five - dirt poor
Harriet Harris, fourth, last born
(interesting enough shared same birthdate
with eldest sister twelve years her senior)
fetched vicinity Coney Island offshore
by stork, became favorite progeny begat
courtesy Morris, and then swore
celibacy forever more
Rebeckah Kuritsky heretofore

harbored inchoate genetic fore
boded, encoded, inscribed
deadly mutations housed,
fetched, dispatched and bore
flawed BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes sketched
affecting circumscribing her allotted mortality
orbitz equaling about six months shy
of three and a half score
unknowingly, unsuspectingly, unwittingly,
her biologic fatal demise indelibly etched.

Breast cancer first brush
sounded death knell
Harriet clocked approximately
six months shy of being a septuagenarian
orbitz around the sun,
she underwent grueling radiation
plus chemotherapy
carcinoma eradicated allowed,
enabled, provided breathing spell
reprieve accentuated, galvanized, punctuated...

newfound zealous zest almost
nothing could quell
significance pray tell
new lease on life to sell
lib berate cherish, relish, whish
each precious moment
thwarting pell mell
adversity with bon vivant elan
and gusto to issue rebel yell

kickstarting, making breast
livingsocial aye bell,
especially after despite... er... well
her double mastectomy,
she looked fabulously swell
courtesy silicon implants
slight downside reconstituted
racked ***** *****
susceptible to ooze gel.

Many years post remission telltale
diagnosis, viz ovarian,
despite requisite hysterectomy
emotionally did impale,
she instinctually, intuitively,
invariably, yet quiver and quail
against impending demise 24/7 did assail
guardian angel(s) of no avail,
nor did yours truly proffer nurturance
resentment smoldering within this male
red hot poker anger lambasting me

peppered with ultimatums to vamoose,
never got resolved ensuing estrangement
deterred reaching out to embrace,
hearing raspy fading breaths exhale,
miserably tethered with tubes
when she did severely pine ail
and grievously bewail
corporeal essence ashen pale
awkwardly, helplessly, stupidly... I stood
formidable grim reaper foe whisked mother
to Elysian fielded dale.

which achievement, deportment,
endorsement, and indictment
(more serious than rigging an election)
jump/kickstarts (a divine comedy of errors)
not reason enough
to be deported),
but necessitates more than a facile effort
linkedin to a working knowledge
of familial genetics ofttimes

discovering, revealing, and unearthing
locked up figurative ghosts in the closet,
and/or shocking insights
courtesy vis a vis mapping lineage
of descendents whose deferment
being proactive when deciding
with absolute zero or
very little shadow of a doubt
versus someone analogous

to yours truly (me),
who offtime fumferes concerning
the course of action one will
assertively, decidedly, and proactively take
and keep to their word,
whether the issue in question
rather classed as superficial,
I will iterate after writing
a particular for instance as follows.

When asked (courtesy the missus)
if I ever plan to use the new hair brush
purchased at CVS a short time after
getting substantial lovely locks clipped,
yours truly responded
"when my hair gets long again"
despite promising myself
that donning the guise
of a baby boomer
long haired pencil neck geek
got nipped in the bud,
but subsequently (hypocritically)
explaining to her
the necessity to practice making excuses
lest one forget the delicate art
to thwart due diligence
to maintain irresoluteness.

Whether avoiding taking
figurative bull by the horn stance,
(particularly risky business
if one happens to be
the matador enraging
a monster red eyed bull
by waving red cape
in front of said animal -
analogous to Ke-mo sah-bee)
or evading asking Bill Thurman,
a portly non ambulatory resident
here at Highland Manor,

(whose Tuxedo patterned therapy feline
one of the most common coat colors
for shelter kitties -
a bicolor also called piebald cat  
with white fur combined
with fur of some other colour,
for example, solid black, tabby,
or colour pointed named Corbin
an affectionate loveable kitty,
who administers love bites),
who rightfully owes me five dollars

for asking me to clean his carpet,
but hate to remind said person,
cuz he promised to pay me,
and would rather
he square the marginal debt
(rather than triangulate him
by circling round the issue courtesy the missus)
of his own volition,
and thus resorted
to communicate with him telepathically,
and perchance a whim will prompt him

to leave a voice
and/or text message
gently coaxing poet of Perkiomen Valley (me)
to lend him a helping hand
such as withdrawing cash
from an ATM machine
or whisking boxes away
to be recycled or reused
at Liberty Thrift store or Worthwhile
offering perfect opportunity
to jog his memory nonchalantly.

ah jest wanna boomerang
back into the womb
versus being threatened
courtesy beastie boy gang
beating me to a pulp
after accurately discerning
being scared shitless pang
suddenly imagining myself
buffered, and buttressed
within zen Sibyl
prophet table Chinese philosophy
known as Yin and Yang.

No matter birth canal
long since got breached,
countless scores of years
I quickly grew
impossible mission to plunge
(think Nestea commercial)
headfirst back into utero,
haint got any got any
handy dandy blues clue,

nonetheless said wish
I broach to you,
whether ye reside in Baku
Guangzhou
Kalamazoo
Kathmandu
Peru
Thimphu
Timbuktu.

Sudden­ pang roared awake
nsync like blazing saddles
hot enough to sizzle steak
torpid, humid, and
arrid extra dry to take
breath away analogous vacuumed
courtesy fire breathing dragon
chilling parched scales in great lake
already this doubting

Thomas doth hanker
for global warming yore
less than six months ago
geesh for goodness sake,
when Earth did bake
triple digit temperatures
no thirst could slake,

thus intravenous feeding
in tandem with trach
still inadequate to brake
yours truly did pine... for chill
against dehydration, ah only to wake,
when came the morrow,
where Jack and Jill
sweat buckets, this

before they climbed uphill
akin to madding crowd
clamoring, thirsting, gulping...
every last drop
essentially emptying ****
immense reservoir spill
futilely swilling parched lips till...

Old cranks shrugged off
exceptionally hot weather, and did scoff
younger generation's creature comforts
old geezers recalled
back in the day
as laddies and Tom boy

lassies did slough
no trespassing signs
skinny dipping after they shuck off
clothes giddily swinging
atop highest bough
playing hooky averse

learning would ever payoff
pitying other kids in school
former gathering rosebuds...
around lunchtime hunger
relishing stealing stroganoff
under nose of Mister Groff,

one former German World War II,
who colluded with American "boys"
despite heavily decorated luftwaffe
and posthumously honored
Veterans day getting last laugh!

regarding President elect
Donald John Trump.

As a cruel joke to self,
I imagined myself as a Republican
for that one glorious day
voting for the candidate
who clinched the nomination
as our next commander in chief
and still reeling in the heady years
when said unnamed person
graced the covers
of countless magazines,
(especially those hard copy publications
with a politically right bent),
and electronic mass media platforms
when one felt proud
being the sole pachyderm in the room.

Within mein hermitage
now dwells one
disheveled miserable
troglodyte with a pet gecko,
who wept a tearful river of joy
upon hearing unbelievable news,
(about a lucky man with panache,
whose ghost writer wannabe
yours truly would relish),
albeit at snail's pace schlepped

finally proclamation emancipation
gave reasonable rhyme
yours truly to *******
not prematurely,
subsequently I leapt
out the window
without a parachute
of penthouse suite apartment
into the air, and kept
myself aloft completing

one after another sumersault,
flapping vestigial wings
at the speed of sound and except
for minor nuisance of gravity,
nevertheless landed feet first and crept
a secret portal
back into mine man cave adept
to survive alone
in the wilderness
with pointers
from the late **** Proenekke.

Two hundred and ninety five electoral votes
in layman's terms 72,600,307 votes (50.9%)
tallied across country,
gave ample reason
to do the hustle videlicet
grinding hips and bump
with the missus
decked out as Wilma Flintstone
after Trump declared victory
in a brief trunk hated speech,
an excerpt taken
quoting his exact words
at the Palm Beach
convention center in Florida.

"I’ll be fighting for you, and with every breath in my body,” Trump told supporters who had gathered at Palm Beach County Convention Center to cheer him on. “I will not rest until we deliver the strong, safe and prosperous America that our children deserve and that you deserve.”

Admirable, (yet reviled)
teetotaler contender
who hailed from Queens
orating at above named venue
finally plopped and fizzed out,
whose non verbal
body language issued relief,
thus spoke volumes
after Kamala Harris formerly
deprecated, implicated, and prosecuted  

adequately bad mouthed
to curry distasteful impression
of freshly minted sexagenarian
fêted after his unrigged win
analogous to reeling
once in a lifetime
catch of the day
hook line, and sinker  
anchored courtesy Taj Mahal replica
nearly bankrupted him
into dustbin of history

good ciao electorate voted in
lovable loutish oaf,
which four years ago
majority of voters chose to dump
best mandated to cavort
with zoot suited frump
on any given Wednesday
available to ****
rotund barenaked lady merging
into humongous protoplasmic lump.

Despite being caught
red handed concerning
more'n where's the beef
burnished braggadocio brilliantly
stole 2016 election
under nose of Hillary Clinton
abused role, when tasked
as commander in chief,
nevertheless touted with bravado

courtesy totalitarian zealots
across the webbed wide world
good ole Charlie Brown nemesis
deportation apologist
causing nothing but good grief,
hence yours truly quite elated
upon occasion when figurative new leaf
turned over and booted out
as more daring than Baghdad thief.

Hit the ground running
with nary a second to waste
Donald Trump, when
Mike Pence and company at the helm
blindsided proving their steely eyed mettle
despite victory lap Democrats did taste
ushered in COVID-19 game plan
bolstering pandemic defences,
where prior administration sorely misplaced
priorities United States Lady Liberty
wantonly, undeservedly, subsequently
her reputation disgraced.

Hope springs eternal -
ah tis amazing grace
yours truly suddenly
brimming with optimism
able bodied diverse cabinet to erase
formerly inept sycophants
with intentions base
running amok within White House
at long last competent
candidate won the race,
this tatterdemalion doth welcome
ye back Donald Trump,
no matter pulled off disappearing act
at Mar-A-Lago without a trace
sore loser teed off absent American
delivering his humiliating
defeat coup de grâce.

Adieu after presenting façade  
gussied poetic opinion editorial
donning guise as antithetical braying donkey
failing miserably to convince readers
without the help of  “artificial intelligence”
I cannot succeed generating “fake news”
dressed up as a senseless rhyme.

only just began early today
November 6th, 2024,
when my eyes frightfully espied
glaring headlines bespoke horror
conjured, portended and yielded
worse fate than being gratefully dead
after the polls tallied up the votes
beaming none other than
pudgy hugely crass blimp
as the forty seventh president
of the United States of America.

Before delving into worse case scenario
regarding the candidate,
who clinched the nomination
as commander in chief
with special thanks to Elon Musk
(despite being an engineering genius)
for amply funded inimical,
maniacal, and radical
antithetical, egotistical, and heretical
verbal incursion, and character assassination

videre licet concerning democratic opponent
boosting drek fueling horrible jibes,
no surprise after the got ballots counted
decreeing the overstuffed ego freezer
who will now occupy the White House
at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW,
Washington, DC 20500,
subsequently, I posit thee
with a very obvious rhetorical question.

Members of the House and Senate
met in the House Chamber to conduct
the official count of electoral votes.

The Vice President of the United States,
as President of the Senate, presided
over the count in a strictly ministerial manner
and announces the results of the vote.

Now after imp of the pervert
amassed 270 electoral votes
and declared the avowed winner
while he blissfully gobbled
his favorite meal
consisting of Two Big Macs,
Two Fillet-o-Fish sandwiches,
a large Fry and a diet Coke
courtesy being heavy duty patron
and keeping McDonald's patriarchal
company financially afloat
Now dear reader, you ought to be
able, eager, ready, and willing
to participate in an after the fact
easy to answer guessing game?

Here goes.

Who can legitimately flaunt the law...
and get away with ****** scot-free?

Only someone christened
Donald John Trump
the 45th President of the United States:
he escaped being (even minimally)
penalized of countless crimes:
any other American would be prosecuted
found guilty, and subsequently sentenced
(courtesy strong arm of the law
witnessing guilty party
and his merry
contra band of accomplices
dealt harsh consequences)
to years of hard labor.

As a law abiding citizen,
I decry how legally nomenclatured,
qualified, schooled, and trained professionals
handled him with kid gloves
as if he happened to be the Messiah.

Analogous to some rabid animal,
the mean mien pitbull
disposition of Donald Trump
witnesses him foaming at the mouth
during his barnstorming, campaigning,
doxing, et cetera vituperation.

The next four long years
will witness wrecking ball
obliterating the foundations
constituting complex edifice
housing sacred tracts
fundamental documented blueprints
linkedin with ancillary trappings
servicing nasty and brutish gall
with pride and prejudice
exhibiting absolute zero
gentlemanly sense and sensibility.

courtesy Fluoxetine hydrochloride

Fluoxetine Hcl (C17H18F3NO·HCl)
known as Selective Serotonin
Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI),
especially prescribed to treat
depression, panic disorder,
and obsessive-compulsive disorder
the above symptoms
profoundly experienced by yours truly
said prescription medication
seriously impacts sleep (mine).

Debilitating panic attacks
wrought (particularly years gone by)
physiological displeasures chiefly constituting
vertigo, racing heart, nausea,
excessive perspiration
particularly palms of hands
(diagnosed quite some years ago
courtesy Doctor Harold Milstein
as palmar hyperhidrosis), adrenaline
coursing thru body,
whereby Prozac (brand name regarding
aforementioned synthesized chemical)
ameliorated unbearable, unmanageable, untenable...
earth-shaking, devastating,
and crushing manifestations
disabling, exhausting, jackknifing... functionality
hijacking life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Essentially yours truly experiences
dilemma analogous to sleep deprivation,
cuz ofttimes upon arising,
I feel utterly tuckered out, exhausted, bushed...
thus zapped body, mind and spirit
ill suited to physical,
mental or spiritual endeavor
subsequently lovely bones (mine)
(pine to join grateful dead)
rather than feebly kickstart
lame effort to write, read or meditate.

Thus respecting Sir Isaac
Newton's first law of motion
a (human) body at rest
inertia keeps said entity at rest.

Interestingly enough as
daylight doth wax and wane
casting dark shadows
along the outer limits
of the twilight zone demarcating
the edge of night upon urbane
countenance buzzfeeding hidden reservoir
exerting estimable energy
decreasing arduous strain
therefore purposefulness,
I seek renewable resource to imbue
garden variety generic
doubting thomas and ordain
him (i.e. me) with spontaneous
magnificent grandiloquent enlightenment
ala Orson Welles Citizen Kane
laughable comparison linkedin
with story extraordinaire quite insane
September 5th, 2024 insight one can gain
perchance even coaxing passable poem
from deep within
Matthew Scott Harris' brain.

I politely ask for uncontested support
campaign contribution promoting me
an aging sexagenarian baby boomer
groveling by (and supporting the Frau
royal highness, (heretofore known as
the missus) solely courtesy social sic
(an abbreviation of the Latin phrase
"sic erat scriptum" - which means
"thus was it written)" security disability
which unearned and untaxed income
divvied up to pay Consumer Cellular,
Verizon FIOS, Hyundai Elantra auto
loan to Ally Bank, PECO, Apple Cloud
services, splurging on indulgences
Netflix, SiriusXM for commercial free
radio while we drive to and fro hither
and yon, plus my own valuable worth
the while to read (cover to cover) small
number of reliable socially progressive
publications such as TIME Magazine,
The Week, The Nation, Smithsonian,
and Mother Jones buzzfeeding yours
truly valuably indubitably reliable, and
currently, locally, and globally notable
events to keep abreast of impossible
mission characterizing changing mean
drama (nail biting action) played out
across the webbed, wide world stage
speculating how willing the average
Tom, ****, or Harry blithely gives
money to the political candidate of
their choice, but if I matter of factly
asked for money (even a measly one
dollar bill), a hooting and hollering
would ensue, nevertheless experiment
prompted me to broadcast an honest to
dog communiqué greatly beseeching an
anonymous reader to support your local
******, whose nest egg whipsawed by
egregious thieving unscrupulous fraudsters
posing as (fake) Apple technicians after
hacking into my MacBook Pro (Retina,
15-inch, Mid 2015) essentially hitting me
with a double whammy initially locking
access to become linkedin to stored data
unless I called a toll free number only to
unwittingly fork over a large sum of money
after being blindsided that Citizen Bank imp
ploy ease colluding to siphon every red cent
constituting checking and saving accounts to
this day approximately seventeen plus months
after I got royally bilked, fleeced, scammed,
et cetera, and no success after posting a blurb
on Gofundme, an idea got hatched just today
to adopt the guise of a political nowhere man
shaking figurative tin cup on the cusp of holly
days trying to elicit altruistic responsiveness
from any pair of eyes that peruse the contents
of my poetic plea gently plucking heartstrings
to finance life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
for one mortal male who shortchanged himself
more'n his halflife ago socially withdrawn from
the countless opportunities to risk saying hello
to a pretty little thang, which painful shyness
predated availability of powder milk biscuits
made from whole wheat raised in the rich
bottomlands of the Lake Wobegon river valley
by Norwegian bachelor farmers; so you know
they're not only good for you, but pure... mostly.

analogous to hatches being
battened down
courtesy COVID-19 12+
(Pfizer only) and Flu Vaccine (65+)
October 31, 2024,
which found me convalescing
one day later with minor aches and pains
remedied with acetaminophen.

More than 1 million people died
from COVID-19 in the US
since the virus first emerged
in Wuhan, China
in December 2019.

On March 11, 2020,
the World Health Organization
characterized the outbreak as a pandemic.

Now approaching the fourth year anniversary,
the availability of effective inoculations
offers blessed intervention
to mitigate serious complications.

I (unlike the missus)
no longer don a mask,
nevertheless wash hands frequently
as a reasonable precaution
to maintain health of body,
mind and spirit triage.

While stayin' alive at sixty five,
(people passing me right and left
along the boulevard of broken dreams)
I try to be proactive
toward mental, physical,
and spiritual wellness,
whether spending leisure hours
engaged with efforts that exercise
the, body, mind, and spirit triage
abstaining from watching television
versus reading one among
a small number of magazines
or becoming engrossed
courtesy well written book.

I also try my hand
crafting a poem
linkedin to some significance
regarding particular present date
shown by the calendar
usually an event that impacted
and affected me to become
calm, cool, and collected or irate
for better or worse
my mental, physical, or spiritual state.

When emotionally, physically,
or spiritually unwell,
when nada one iota of bliss prevails
toward favorite activity
such as: kickstarting
hairbrain scheme to get rich quick
painting the town red,
underwater basket weaving
(or other idioms pejoratively used
to describe college courses
considered to be useless or absurd.

I tout resting
and becoming comfortably numb
(while listening to white noise
issuing from a fan or heater,
which whirring or humming sound
frequently nudges me
into deep sleep with nary a hitch)
if general malaise pervades
thru these lovely bones,
which actually scream out for exertion
(and no excuse exists
since getting a smart haircut

going on a couple months already,
and making cleanliness
next to the closest approximation
an atheist can attain of godliness)
cuz I knew my slovenly appearance
(a passive aggressive
silent rebel yell
against the establishment -
mainly the liberal strictures
of my father and mother)
would be a deterrent
within a social situation.

Hour hands clock back
sixty minutes of Autumn
round about same of month
every year, what a ******,
an inconvenient truth
diverged from this chum
purposelessly manipulating
hold over yesteryear doth drum
sensation of jet lag
(an inconvenient truth

with earth in the balance)
as if flying within time machine
at warp speed from
this station, where
bumpy ride invariably finds me
feeling ticked off and glum
in no mood to rhyme,
nor be leer re: cull
juiced barely tantamount
to gather scattered wits

sin tide, and express mood
as (a gardener sows
what she/he reaps) *** hum
being fruitful to multiply
seeds of life cached within *******
abstaining from prophylactics
to help beget new life within womb,
how quickly nine months will  zoom
before daughter or son
regaled after parturition

fortunate, this chronological
seismic shift nada wide, ah assume
nonetheless, mein kampf
cerebral hemispheric plate tectonics
comb pluck hated off
jangling black keys helplessly boom
fancifully drifting and boring
into quick ribald sand trap doom
ming an inducement for
emergency convoy, after  

courtesy forensic anthropologist
a greatful dead body
he/she doth exhume
conducting post mortem baptism
of corpse sending
lifeless subject down a flume
when subsequently pitched from
sea to figurative shining sea –
gram ma mother earth glum,
where live yik yak wired

vanguard Trulia tried optimism to hum
nonetheless, swallowed down
cream mated behavioral sink
her/his inert ashes boxed for
mod urn eternity like talcum
powder went – me mum
bling bloviation, once worth
matchless peerage, now pitched numb
lee into morass of temporary
confusion, where plumb

line delineating circadian rhythm
offset, when athwart pilot ***
man strait ting and bickering
with Lilliputians slum
bring within islets of
langerhans defiantly thumb
ming nose, where body,
mind & soul weeknd
viz a bully did cower
hence mister clock,

who got hijacked
3600 seconds per hour
experienced head, thorax
and abdomen diminishing in power
wrought indistinguishable Whitsuntide as sour
grapes of wrath imposing ill fitting sea legs,
which folded like a faulty tower
crumbling skeletal carapace,
resoundingly surrendered,
and back slid vis a vis space/
time continuum did devour.

Black hole sun event horizon indeed
kept lock step as das joint mill hoard
Sucker punched bandwagon
of father time, whose riffs a silent chord
nsync with atomic
fractional second bored
quirky shenanigans toying with chronometers
counter point of view shifted
to oppose this minute accord.

After dark every Halloween
since living social in Perkiomen Valley
for seven long years,
a shrill whistle train whistle
(often compared to the sound
of a bird's call, particularly
a large bird like a hawk or a crane,
due to its piercing, high-pitched
and long-lasting whistle-like quality)
soundcloud heard
from afar clear as a bell,
yet nary a train present
since locomotives stopped running
through Schwenksville, Pennsylvania valley in 1976,
when Pennsylvania Railroad
gave up its rail assets
to Consolidated Rail Corporation (Conrail).

However, some passenger "rambles" took place
from Reading to Schwenksville in the late 1960s.
Matter of fact beginning at the junction
of the Schuylkill River Trail in Oaks,
the trail uses much of the former rail bed
of the Perkiomen Line of the Reading Railroad.

The Perkiomen Trail
created in 2003, often called, the “Perky”,
the trail rolls down the valley
of Perkiomen Creek,
which may have been a reference
by local American Indians
to the surrounding cranberry bogs.

The northern end of the trail begins
at Morrow Pavilion in Green Lane Park,
where trail users can find parking and restrooms.

The 20-mile Perkiomen Trail
follows the route of the Perkiomen Creek
from Oaks to Green Lane Borough.

It connects to the Schuylkill River Trail
and the Audubon Loop.

For most of its length, the "Perky,"
known by many, uses the former rail bed
(as iterated earlier)
of the Perkiomen Line of the Reading Railroad.

Every other time of year
outer limits of the twilight zone
spread dark shadows,
which creep along the edge of night
startling a driver unexpectedly
yet instinctually to veer
away from harm's way
courtesy a nocturnal creature,
now ghost rail activity heard to scare
the living daylights
out of atheists like myself,
who quickly utter a prayer
immediately afraid then jubilant,
cuz prevarication (housed within
a ghastly fashion) my métier,
which brilliant notion
sparked immediately, née instantaneously
after discerning unquestionable choo-choo
within a kiloampere,
a unit of measurement equal
to one thousand amperes.

An ampere is defined
as the amount of current
that flows through a conductor
when one coulomb of charge
passes through it in one second.

I describe, suddenly feeling scared
and tried to summon sense and sensibility
after scrambling to stand upright
with all my might.

Otherwise titled
recalling taking a fall
about five years ago
ala Humpty Dumpty impersonation
(and nearly cracking me noggin),
think the character
in an English nursery rhyme
opened to countless interpretations,
even resorting to ask
"ChatGPT, to finish
the Humpty Dumpty poem... Oh god..."
which complete computer generated
and visible at the following website:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChatGPT/comments/1eiu34j/chatgptfinishthehumptydumptypoemoh_god/?rdt=57502#:~:text=Here's%20the%20original%20rhyme%20with,confess­ed%20to%20a%20sinister%20bite.

As told once upon time helloo
from me matt chew
most previous poem ugh goo,
viz freak accident found ninety
degree angled desk corner (ewe
might not bull heave)
rammed, impaled, fricasseed
smack dab skew
whirred spitting out
fluid on rotisserie

preparatory for stew
right side rib cage
quite agonizing boo boo
intermittent pain analogous
to dull stabbing
finds yours truly nsync with moo
wing cow word le lion hoo
ping to schedule medical appointment
come thee morrow,
this klutz he did brew,

or maybe ghastly conspiracy
courtesy Spiro Agnew
hmm... possibly global warming
ha... puff... imagine dragon
retracting dagger type,
claws, and opening jaws of steel
eyeing thyself as main course on menu
damning self, aye packed
especially when standing askew
(hunched over tying laces re: shoe)

struck by poison arrow unleashed
no Inca ling how
indigenous people of Peru
found their way linkedin
with this Yahoo,
he swiftly strayed
outside Gulliver's travels
into good n plenti boulevard
of broken dreams

essentially, one direction avenue
mixed within gibberish goulash stew
wing conglomeration
******* courtesy "fake" parvenue
he haint goat noah idea nary a blues clue
for aforementioned stream
of consciousness and drew
whatever came to his mind - toodle loo.
Adieu... from mister MaGoo.

Post mortem courtesy
Doctor Demento yielded
Lady Liberty lies slain...
videre licet knocked senseless
from brutal blows upon her crown
simultaneously shouldering existential crisis
triggered nervous breakdown
though rendered mute
sound of silence doth expound.

Forsooth impeachment hearings
rendered him immune
to chastisement, insurrection
he did foment, blithely
skirting impairment appertain
blood on hands of
self important president,
though alcohol he doth abstain,
nonetheless permanent drunken stupor
doth wax and wain

finger of guilt
damaging democracy points
to him as chief villain
groomed since... time immemorial
atavistic primate brain
bathed (courtesy Frederick Christ Trump)
buzzfeeding chosen favored heir
go for broke – as a red badge of courage
bankrupt countless times
and pulled out all stops,

viz unbridled thundering,
espousing philosophy gain
amass wealth, unscrupulous
if necessary where,
might equals right cold play'n
deadly serious game (Life) train
sight squarely and/or roundly
scattered lovely bones
amidst tombstones testimony
incidental secondary fallout main

part and parcel, where legerdemain,
plus art of the deal linkedin
with immeasurable gloating
ego necessary to gain
con fetter writ oligarchy plain
successfully cheating, hocking,
milking, quaffing, and trending,
yielding dynastic rule
trumpeting eternal and carnal
stormy Daniels reign

vaping with wealthy
zealotry (think vain)
at electorate expense
tampering koolaid acid test
courtesy illegals sown GMO grain
colluding when/where possible,
never losing sight regarding
selfish mission to attain
obligatory ideal tyranny
rampantly running roughshod,

no need to explain
writing sleight underhanded profane
antithetical, critical, heretical quatrain
badgering, belittling, besmirching,
bilking, boasting, bragging with disdain
flagrantly flaunting, fleecing,
regarding purported B.S. degree
in economics he did attain
matriculating Wharton School of law,
hmm... methinks he paid

hireling from Ukraine
forever flirting, flouting, and flunking
even basic geography questions
case in point being
where is Drury Lane
additionally, he ain't
no literati familiar
storied quasi fiction Citizen Kane.

A generally cerebral acquisition
intertwining heterosexual generic guy,
who first started dating gals,
when a late teen/
early twenty something,
who overcame his shyness
courtesy consuming powder milk biscuits;
usually described as
"made from whole wheat
raised in the rich bottomlands
of the Lake Wobegon river valley
by Norwegian bachelor farmers;
so you know
they're not only good for you,
but pure... mostly.

Buy them ready-made
in the big blue box
with the picture of the biscuit
on the cover,
or in the brown bag
with the dark stains
that indicate freshness.

Whole wheat that gives
shy persons the strength
to get up and do
what needs to be done,
especially a then
first time contra dancer
such as yours truly – me!

Heavens, they're tasty, and expeditious!"

I buzzfeed jump/kickstarted to drone
how as humble male,
a propensity prevailed to secrete testosterone,
yet lament childhood's end,
an unhealthily docile boyhood
never realizing inclusion
nor fraternizing with classmates,
a stark realization throughout mein kampf.

Hence an (often feeble attempt)
to recaptcha forsaken interpersonal opportunities
when positive circumstances
appear palpable courtesy
interest exhibited toward yours truly,
or more particularly
his satisfactorily scribbled writings.

Overindulgence exuding profuse gratitude
most likely counterproductive
to teasing fledgling friendship
ofttimes recklessly voicing
expressing premature ejaculations
of amorousness linkedin
to profusion of unbounded love
invariably lobbing blitzkrieg
of desperation to undermine latent
intrigue housing initial sentiments

never vouchsafed tactile rapport
with author of these words,
whose impetuousness additionally pronounced
by inclusion of mine
America Online username
available after further correspondence
to sincere respondent
in immature hoop dreams to elicit
fantasy realization to strike up rapport.

At such hint of romance and elusive
fine prairie home companion to acquire,
I want to burst into song
with attendant accompanying acapella choir
oblivious reader would become jaundiced
regardless creative rhyme and reason,
where Rita meter maid,
actually a robot contrived thanks
be to artificial intelligence
within blink of her
sophisticated electronic eye
notices digital timer

precious minutes to display
favorable compression, depression,
disadvantageous expression,
irreversible impression,
malapropos progression,
et cetera didst expire,
who ofttimes referenced prior
experienced being flummoxed,
when few and far between
interpersonal scenarios embarrassingly
forfeited, kindled explosive charge
as if sparking electricity
issued from a shorted wire.

Amour propre frankly zapped
analogous to how swollen balloon
punctured or loosed from fingerhut
erratically zips thru air
flitting to and fro hither and yon
resembling how
on two separate occasions
witnessed bat out of hell or cowbird
similarly swooped dipped and dove
within our house got trapped,

(possibly fell thru fireplace flue),
whereby mother dearest shrieked
simultaneously swatting
(the only mammal
in the world that can fly)
nsync with rebel yell
(on par with exemplary performers as:
Swallowtail, the Flying Garbanzos,  
Wild Asparagus.

Within that milieu
of barnstorming hoopla,
I got me a wife
(currently taking her siesta),
though upon first setting foot
yours truly stumbled as with two left feet,
but mastered the following called steps
and routine became cakewalk.  

HOW TO CONTRA DANCE:

     Ask a partner (yea, that lonely looking gal or guy), who can never refuse to kick up heals in this rollicking shenanigan – the rumor holds that said activity the most fun one can have with his/her clothes worn.

     The caller will usually do a walk thru, which begins with the first two couples closest to the stage crew of lively musicians (frequently filling the makeshift hall with music aligned the genre of irish jigs and reels) beginning to pair off.

      After couples one and two (nearest the band) complete their quartet, this process (sans participants coupling off) continues until the foot of the line.

     Actually each duo of dancers within the foursome nearest or furthest from the podium dons the role of  “first and second” couple respectively.

     The walk thru can be helpful, especially for those unfamiliar with this social activity, which encroaches on the ordinary comfort zones because eye contact plus physical hand to hand fusion necessary.

     Many of the routines utilize various combinations of approximately a couple dozen unique moves, where each distinct extemporaneously choreographed fancy footwork utilizes a unique variation of such movements.

versus being alive
predicated victory videre licet lunatic
if Trump ******* Kamala Harris
and stole 2024 presidential election,  
(whereat Musk bribed
significant number of voters
handing out wads of cash)
courtesy underhanded modus operandi
and devious and sinister schemes.

Forlorn; bereft of golden
(slippered) opportunities I weep;
Three score and five years
replete with mailer daemons,
hence mindset adrip
with self denouncing
expletive filled bleep
unwritten expressed recriminations
wielded upon figurative
head of wimpy blip;
decades elapsed at light speed clip

as the world turned
days of mein kampf
exhibited slow psychologically
torturous analogous intravenous slow drip
during emerging adulthood
approximately half life of mine,
when yours truly painstakingly
besotted with unrequited love
accursed extreme introvertedness
severely hobbled coping ability

still reeling after being scammed
gobs of greenbacks
approximately sixteen months ago
gifted at birth with congenital weakness
such as being gullible to ruthless conartists
mama's boy lacked ways and means
integrating himself among peers:
no supportive services to equip
shy lonely lad devoid of fellowship
even as grown man
lost in space whereat

maximum head room cramped
with obsessive compulsive thoughts
social services slated for chopping block
if Project 2025 implemented
and if father or mother
were alive they would flip
at the course of political divisiveness
sowed by MAGA
onymous nasty brute,
where palmar hyperhidrosis
affected slippery grip

in tandem with being diminutive
aiming to experience
childhood's end forever
son of a gun flailed
with dating later in life
analogous to psyche
subjected to fracking
compromising, forsaking, and issuing
counter productively undermining
potential heterosexual relationships
invariably shooting from the hip.

Nine different prescription medications
allow umpteen combinations to yield
against bombardment that fate doth wield
delivered, signed and sealed
courtesy the grim reaper
able, eager, ready and willing
to maneuver across pitted minefield
accessing exiled soul whisking
vis a vis grim reaper same
to idyllic place named Edenfield.

Oftimes methinks
how cessation to breathe
spirit buoyed aloft,
where garlands wreath
to escape hell on Earth,
where neurosis and psychosis seethe
within mine sixty plus five
shades of crumbling sheet rock
think scree ming atrophying gray matter
symbiotically, dramatically,
and alphabetically flourishing
at expense of sanity
case in point being

anxiety/ panic attacks
obsessive compulsive behavior,
schizoid personality disorder,
long in the tooth fellow
his sustenance similar to pablum
constituting imperial diet of worms
of the Holy Roman Empire -
called by Emperor Charles V
fit for grown baby,
especially when removing dentures
cuz he must resort to eat soft foods
unless by some miracle I teethe
for the third time.

Homegrown destructive force
muscles, tussles, wrestles,
et cetera within me
likened to (but separate from) Intifada,
(thus no insinuation this wordsmith
linkedin to any militant group)
grips mine soul asylum,
a recalcitrant doppelganger
within windmills of my mind
doth insidiously, poisonously,
and unpleasantly drum
palpably affecting writer
of these words to feel glum.

No respite whether I repose
in deep slumber or lightly awake
inescapable melancholic woes
haunts these lonely bones,
whereby system of the down
houses reticent persona constituent feature
characterized courtesy anhedonia
linkedin with passive suicidal ideation
accentuated when severe crisis erupt
analogous to smoldering volcano.

Fortunate for me the missus keenly aware
plus (despite every now and again
contention between us),
she makes crystal clear
communicating her displeasure
mixed with genuine fear
bantering deadpanning facetiously
gallows humor I half heartedly asseverate
gibberish spouting jargoneer
gravely alarms wife helpless to orienteer

conversation away from my demise,
thus figuratively switch horses
in mid stream and jockey
to calm her down
and lightning verbal exchange
by ******* from the waist down
revealing laughing stock of skinny legs
(easily mistaken for spindleshanks)
poking thru underwear
charging on imaginary steed

feigning being loco
despite NOT smoking ****,
energetic cavorting courtesy
nursing high test coffee,
nevertheless ineffective battling fatigue
despite flitting to and fro,
hither and yon bumbling along
(skeletal) joints of mine smoking hot
suddenly after sipping strong brew,
I temporarily shuck off lethargy

long enough break to out dancing
while simultaneously overtaken
to sing a song of sixpence
while wings flutter at the speed of sound
buzzfeed appetite for consumption
Ecclesiastical History of the English People,
one of our best-written sources
for early English history
authored by Venerable Bede.

outcome of 2024 presidential election announced.

Polling places slated to open seven o'clock
in the morning November third
two thousand twenty four
heightened tensions will strain patience
to breaking point concerning
extreme anticipation common joe experiences
(biden his/her time)
regarding which candidate trumpeted
as de facto commander in chief of United States.

Carpe diem the echoing refrain
heard and seen dispensed and broadcast
across telecommunications medium
cuz the very survival of democracy at stake
ruthless political machinations employed
to seize inalienable codified rights
couched within Declaration of Independence

and Constitution, written ethos, dogma, credo...
compiling aggregate of fundamental principles
or established precedents that constitute
legal basis of a polity, organisation
or other type of entity and commonly
determine how entity governed.

Understanding North American government
inextricably found yours truly agape
when chance occurrence brought hefty tome
into self assigned reading material
which storied author David McCullough
wrote engrossing John Adams biography
I read aloud with measured deliberateness
clearly enunciating each syllable of every word

despite runaway enthusiasm
to acquire historical premise
whereby original thirteen colonies
teetered on brink of immediate collapse
soon after majority representatives
swore fealty among themselves
despite ragtag soldiers
easily overwhelmed courtesy
fighting force of British Empire.

As a staunch affiliate
of democratic party,
one veritable common joe
just biding his time,
I trumpet how crass
deleterious, egregious, fractious...
usurpation of power
jackknifed, kickstarted and linked
endemic flood (gushing) hatred
malicious, nefarious,

opprobrious putrescence
laid down at the feet
upholding seventy five inches
of corpulent doughy flesh
(courtesy McDonald's)
regarding one conceited,
haughty, and obstreperous
politician orchestrating narcissistic
machiavellian leitmotif kick/jump starting.
iniquitous, horrible, grief for everyone.

Mark my words, that bull headed incumbent
will clamor, foment, incite, loose chaos
if Democratic candidate garners more votes
at the ballot box nsync with absentee citizens
casting their lot with the worser of two evils
otherwise put head between legs,
and kiss tuckus goodbye,
cuz hell in a handbasket looms on horizon.

Analogous to beckoning
think fickle finger of fate doth allure
gussied up with
windswept orange coiffure
tantalizes like a kid
in a candy store to explore
amidst treasure trove of words galore
recollecting when yours truly
a spunky lad though
physically, and emotionally immature

to curry spicy relationship
(aside from being oblivious
to a golden opportunity)
with Meena Ravel,
a high school classmate
of my younger Shari,
whereby both girl students
graduated with flying colors
invariably her parents
Kokeela (which means "cuckoo bird"
or "nightingale)" and Kishore

(meaning "young boy," "youth)"
got along swimmingly more
power to the merits
brought together
after their match finalized
during their respective childhood's end
thus all the more power
to an arranged marriage,
albeit a visible successful union.

The above potential prospect
for a charming lass to befriend
one among countless other opportunities
I never risked expressing interest
devoid of sense and sensibility to lend
a helping hand
(secretly entertaining fantasy
to become son in law)
as a modus modus operandi
convincing said parents
of aforementioned lass
their daughter a godsend
could have helped me transcend
feeling awkward in the presence
of a darling young pretty woman.

All throughout puberty
and emerging adulthood
yours truly family of mine
concerned, frustrated and infuriated
(courtesy mother of mine,
who evinced anger at me
for shirking looking for employment,
but instead went to nearby parks
such as Evansburg, or Valley Forge,
whereby I parked car

in secluded spot
and whiled the hours with attention
focused on webbed wide world of words)
they wondered why
the only male offspring
exhibited being painfully shy
and lacked even one fine companion
preferably of the opposite gender
(considered with reference
to social and cultural

differences well nigh
rather than biological ones),
and subsequently turned
attention of mine toward
the safe realm to appease
voracious appetite to glean knowledge,
and getting woozy,
yet naturally "high"
resulting from many
hours bearing witness

to whip smartness courtesy
reading various and sundry material
to fraternize with characters,
who peopled my overactive imagination
which poor substitute for livingsocial
found appeasement of mindscape
strewn with tears asian arid wasteland
heavily punctuated where I did cry.

Even now forfeited relationships
alleviated with thoughts of wanting to die.

Not a crock of... but bull heave me,
you heard (read) right here from me
the horse's mouth,
who never neigh says,
cuz Trump (unexpectedly)
nixed presidential ambitions...
to pursue lifelong
management job at McDonald's,
nevertheless rival Burger King
courtesy a turncoat,
who cozied up
to Escherichia coli electronic bug
hidden in dem  Golden Arches
got inside scoop and
offered an undisclosed
jaw dropping dollar figure.

Though hands down fifty four his win
(already promising betting odds
find serious loot to bookies
guaranteed a near certainty
to nab the ⁦Tuesday,
November 5, 2024⁩
presidential nomination, he rather
nonchalantly and not surprisingly
gave up acquiring
keys to White House,

and code to nuclear weapons
when just a small number of days,
indubitably, gratefully, electorate casts
their collective vote
to usher the Trump *****
reign of a thousand years
banking MAGA landslide victory
to implement by force if necessary
The Project 2025 Republican revolution
ushering Biblical imperative

for women of childbearing
years to be fruitful and multiply
in a barenaked lady three doors down
effort to stave off
diminution of precious, officious,
miraculous, glorious offspring
NOT brought forth in this nation
as adumbrated, dictated, and hosted
by the Communist Manifesto,
whereat the very word proletariat

(/ˌproʊlɪˈtɛəriət/; from Latin root
proletarius 'producing offspring')
represents the social class of
wage-earners, those members
of a society whose
possession of significant
economic value linkedin
to their labour power capacity
to work at begetting
offspring imperative to stem

the tide and staunch the
flow by coldplay fiat if necessary,
(hence clamp down
on abortion/ reproductive rights
seeding start up reproductive companies
to subsidize fecund females
with fertilizing seeds of life
and white lily (meaning White
Anglo Saxon Protestant credo
stands supreme – think Heil commander)

reviving, jump/ kickstarting,
and rebooting the most controversial issue
surrounding universalistic,  
narcissistic, and genetic
breeding in humans
namely "eugenics," which refers
to the practice of attempting
to improve the genetic quality
of a population
by selectively breeding individuals

considered to have desirable traits,
often with the aim of eliminating
undesirable weaknesses, traits, quirks...
raising significant ethical concerns
about who decides
what traits considered "desirable"
and the potential for discrimination
and abuse of power.

Yours truly (me)
just an ordinary primate from the human zoo,
who while ambling along
the boulevard of broken dreams on a Green Day
(just me and my shadow)
I experienced unexpected lionizing flattery
courtesy Pink Floyd,
he went ape and shouted "hey you"
out there in the cold
getting lonely, getting old
but honest to dog,
I took the road less traveled
unexpectedly encountering
fire breathing creatures
imagine dragons puffing
at these lovely bones
that constitute a generic guy,
a madding crowd qua at least one
with multiple talking heads
quite frightful harried styled beastly yahoo
primitive creature obsessed with "pretty stones"
popularized by Jonathan Swift
in the fourth section of Gulliver's Travels
trying their damndest to woo
yours truly, an aging baby boomer
and long haired styled pencil necked geek
he/him even extended
an invitation to their next venue
to frolic in the autumn mist
in a land called Honah Lee,
hence methought to spruce myself up
to undergo a major makeover
courtesy Salon Nova beauty technician,
and in one fell swoop
off went approximately a dozen inches
of mine lovely brunette locks of love
(tinged with natural gray),
and upon getting
to the house at Pooh Corner
I swiftly tailored mine appearance
showering and sudsing hair
with aforementioned product
(videre licet title of poem)
suddenly unconditionally loving
the new Matthew Scott Harris
immediately accepting an awesome
handsome kickass transformation
awash with true value,
especially after liberally appling
Eco Style Olive Oil Styling Gel
with damp hands quite a challenge,
but cap I did  eventually unscrew
ready to rock and roll with the Monkeys
(with other artists... Guess Who)
at a rave in Timbuktu,
whereat paparazzi snapped pictures
asking me to stand still as a statue
unexpectedly espying my likeness
in the next issue
of classy fashion magazine
nothing but accolades
with stunning photographs
populated the Harris review.

Vision care regarding myself,
spouse and daughters...
(before they flew the coop
affecting momma and papa bird
with empty nest syndrome)
wholeheartedly entrusted to
five star optometrist Paul Halpern.

With more than four decades
dedicated and invested
with ocular familiarity,
I salute you with a yen to be civil.

Eye eye Captain Paul Halpern
(attended The Pennsylvania State University
and The Pennsylvania College of Optometry,
now Salus University,
and earned B.S. and O.D. Degrees).

There are two types of eye drops used to test for glaucoma:
Numbing drops
A yellow drop that numbs the eye and measures intraocular pressure.
This procedure is called tonometry or applanation.

Dilating drops
Used to widen the pupils so that the doctor can examine the optic nerve.
Tropicamide is a common dilating drop.

While head tilted back
gingerly applied drops
in eyes that did burn
during my sixth fifth year alive
cataracts in both eyes he did discern.

No matter parking
(regarding even numbered buildings)
on Haws Avenue in Norristown
angled because to allow
for more efficient use of street space
purportedly cars can pull in and out
of parking spots
without making sharp turns
minimizing the risk of accidents
and maximizing the number

of vehicles that can park on the street,
nevertheless I bemoan being shuttled
(courtesy the missus,
who serves as temporary chauffeur de jure
until yours truly acquires glasses
suited and fitted to nearsightedness
linkedin to a refractive error
that makes far-away objects look blurry
shortsightedness of mine 20/200
without corrective bifocals

thankfully myopia markedly diminished,
(albeit improved to 20/20
wearing frames post cataract surgery,
which noteworthy Kremer Center
located in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
the go to facility
where consultation took place
found me assigned
to ophthalmologist Aaron Cohen, MD
in practice since 1994,

whom I met,
and immediately felt reassured
routine outpatient surgery
took place without a hitch,
though the only qualm
concerns sizable co-payment
not covered by Aetna Medicare Advantra,
yet I tout insurance with brief pitch
and thus no intent to switch
dental, medical and ocular care.

unabashedly dole out unadulterated
indirect flattery to a porcelain moon goddess.

I found myself figuratively
falling head over heels
inexplicably, cuz courtesy the website
Prose | A virtual community
of readers and writers,
an attractively enchanting female participant 
unwittingly, unsuspectingly and unknowingly
triggered the writer
of these words to become beguiled
and emblazon the sentence
mein kampf and hard times
(ambiguous coded message)
to further an electronic exchange
of mutually assured emotional construction
inadvertently, inextricably, and inordinately
bending, forging, and nudging our lives to coincide
with a mutually profound realm
of hidden cerebrally ******* treasure,
not unlike an archeologist
accidentally stumbling upon a rare discovery
of unknown persons
(recording stone age arousal
of fondling buttucks of babe in the woods),
who trod across the terra firma
across the lunar landscape
when **** sapiens
merely consisted of
scattered and vulnerable tribes
analogous to any other animal
seeking basic instinct
for ultimate procreation of race
likened to the Gibbs brothers
titled song Stayin' Alive
courtesy survival of the fittest.

Hopefully herewith
a genuine amorous proposition
as the modus operandi
to reciprocate thru cyberspace
will at the least provoke a mild chuckle,
whereby I can envision upturned smile on her face
imagining definite essence of beauty to interlace
slender fingers, while I best dismiss rash fantasy
of any substantial tactile expressions of affection
simply predicated upon infatuation
grown from approximately
a half dozen positive acknowledgements
expressing pleasure at reading my postings, 
whence immediate and uncontrollable lust
burst forth like a giant fountainhead
a minor inconvenience Atlas shrugged
toward a lovely specimen of the fairer ***,
which faux pas will most likely
seal fate against further discourse,
nevertheless sentiments spill forth unbridled
blindingly, and sheepishly guiding me toward 
a veritable stranger, though if these eyes
chanced to be blessed
with even a single cursory glance,
no doubt she would look -
obvious dissimilar constituting a generic gal
cuz espied genuine
incorporeal karmic manifestation
would immediately exhibit
the epitome of elegance and good taste
though already penultimate
consummation of actual ******* doth outpace
rhyme or reason, and logical positivism
dictating ditching broadcasting assiduous fantasy,
plus such juvenile premature ejaculations
(unsuitable to a casual
boyish looking sexagenarian),
who like a fool rushes off,
where angels fear to tread
expressing amorousness,
cuz downplaying the necessity
of erecting respectable
initial trusting platonic friendship
and preliminary stages of casual familiarity
reinforcing initial intuition
nullified thru the Internet,
which mecca for social media platforms
dispenses with conventional established paradigm,
and promulgates instant gratification
blindsiding rational behavior
aptly crafted with the storied novel
by the late writer Tom Wolfe
when he coined the phrase
"Old rotten Gotham
sinking/slinking into the behavioral sink"
a metaphorical phrase
that describes the city of Gotham
(from Batman comics)
as being in a state of extreme
social decay and decline,
where overpopulation, stress,
and lack of resources leading to widespread
societal breakdown and dysfunctional behavior,
much like the concept of a "behavioral sink"
observed in animal studies
where overcrowding causes
erratic and destructive behaviors.

My humblest apology for scattershot thoughts,
cuz I quickly dashed off the above
cuz the missus wants time on our only laptop,
a MacBook Pro (Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015).

impossible mission of mine to bare witness
whereby mine (***** rubble) puny *******
describes a bent shaft, particularly when cap
locks on first observed by the missus when
we consummated *******, though nicht
married, cuz the rutting urge overtook both
of us 24/7, 365 days year not omitting the
leap day, which arose because planet Earth
doth circle around the sun within 365 days,
5 hours 48 minutes and forty six seconds
to orbit the nearest star, according to NASA,
and while that calculation (rounded down
established by Nicolaus Copernicus in the
16th century, when he proposed heliocentric
model - quite controversial to the church ladies -
upending geocentric theory placing the Sun
at the center of the solar system, with Earth
orbiting around it; his theory was detailed
in his book "De Revolutionibus Orbium
Coelestium" published in 1543) to three
hundred and sixty five days, we - twenty
first century **** sapiens, recognize as
a typical year, those nearly 6 extra hours
do not conveniently disappear bitta bing
bitta bitta bang: I recognize omission of
most chitty word choice, but latched on
to a song which shares the same name
as the movie, a 1968 children's musical
adventure film directed by Ken Hughes
and produced by Albert R. Broccoli (not
necessarily the guy kids wanna blame for
their favorite vegetable) starring **** Van
****, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries,
Gert Fröbe, Anna Quayle, Benny Hill,
James Robertson Justice, Robert Helpmann,
Heather Ripley and Adrian Hall driving the
innovative idea (credited to Julius Caesar,
who introduced it as part of Julian calendar,
adding another extra day every four years
to more accurately align the calendar after
segueing into the Gregorian calendar, a solar
calendar used in most parts of the world today
based on the Earth's revolution around the sun
and named after Pope Gregory XIII introduced
in 1582) with the solar year; essentially
making him the "inventor" of the leap year
added to account for the difference.

No matter I sustained multiple contusions about the face and neck and minor head concussion after the missus tossed an unopened box of five apple pie stuff'd oat bites in my direction (what got whisked - as clocked by yours truly at lightspeed), nevertheless (whew), no permanent damage prevailed regarding the cherished goods.

While recuperating in the hospital bed,
I decided to craft incident report,
(yet refuse to implicate the missus)
quickly letting fingers
skitter across keyboard
couched with divine intervention,
cuz yours truly nearly got declared dead,
thus the following words quickly typed
before creative juices fled
despite skeptical readers,

who might immediately deduce
that I rightly ought to be
declared out of my talking head
thankful caring empowered
stalwart connections qua invaluable friends
gifted with emergency lifeline when pitted
with suicidal ideations, predilections,
utilizations fostering existential crisis,
hence resilience taught to thwart
self harmful and hurtful modus operandi

thru the dogma, ethos,
and faith of worthiness
and in remembrance of JED,
(whose founders lost
above mentioned son to suicide),
thus inadvertently halting epidemic,
whereby teens and young adults
offered mental health resources
by building resiliency and life skills,
promoting social connectedness,
and encouraging help-seeking

and help-giving behaviors
through nationally recognized programs,
digital channels, and partnerships,
as well as through the media
spreading the word
to cope against desire to annihilate self
(think nihilistic existentialism)
receiving immediate access
to forge an excellent outlook
reliable material broadcast

across social media platforms
exemplifying and identifying linkedin
ingenious and innovative modus operandi
such as promulgating hotline
flown like the goodyear blimp
videre licet zeppelin made of lead
clearly displaying credo
(which unfortunately never came to my aid -
just another statistic courtesy anorexia nervosa)
summed up as Ned:

A character education program that uses a cartoon character named NED to promote kindness and excellence in schools. NED is an acronym for "Never give up, Encourage others, and Do your best".

I awoke early - now my body will sleep,
though thoughts rise like the Azores
of snuggling next to such an adorable atomic
bombshell of a beauty - boars
into my mind with
sonata fantasy syrup passing
overdrive way past taxing cores
sans crankshaft, pistons and tires viz,
the posted reo speedwagon
deaf fin knit lee unsafe

to open any passenger doors,
where speedometer manifold the limit
inxs of sixty nine miles per hour
as me heart...lures
me to your storybook
swiss chalet, and desire pours
like exhaust smoke awaiting consummation
of ******* - scores
that fills ma cerebral nooks and crannies
even if needing to take dee tours.

Pepé Le Pew
would feel honored if ye wanna reef fur
to myself as duh non tat hood
test tickle your teacher,
'thou noah way would eye ask four
you to pay me any see moo null wage
though my golden arched ethos
parallels that of a sage
homage to my delight with words
incur many a recipient to rage

against my swiftly tail lord
harried style of writing,
whence a reader needs to spend
much time flipping thru each page
of a dictionary or thesaurus,
which mental effort most
often does not engage,
who doth newt tip a fie
formality, thus experiencing virtual
and/or real fine companions

scanned or probably deleted
via tha eyes of another
to jump/kick start a friendship
with this nattering nabob
of nativity modest guy,
whose peculiar mien only his way
to greet with a literary "hi"
and nada Tubi put off per my
poetic manner well nigh
which petic penchant

with words I enjoy to apply
literary creativity and invite
brother/sisterhood a try
incorporating thought provoking
whimsical phrases flush
down into the behavioral sink
toil letting with his lukewarm
scottish matted trademark uber vapid wry
attempts at self mock re: puns - y?

I (d-u-y-e-e-r-93
at aye yo elle dot com) dunno!

Ah...the delirious, glorious,
and illustrious thought
whence never again
to cull demise and forever hibernate
feeling crushed by the egregious atrocious,
heinous, and nemesis, poor ring in of late
and thus this obituary epitaph of sorts
(no matter he will opt
for cremation) finds frenzied
strychnine, poison. or hemlock
appear savory to this pate

a chance pair of perusing eyes
may find this blurb unable to eke quate
this plea sprung from plethora
of purse son hull wreck - I rate
anxiety sweeps across
me mental nada so healthy state
which panic wrought from poverty
per his prone nouns mints uber
viz zit with undertaker tete a tete
of decades long bout

with a psyche riddled with angst
waiting for Godot - Beckett ting
this papa who **** courting
escape from the posse aye bill
misty eyed gorilla in the midst
of his own financial catastrophe,
he loathes resorting regarding pots ability
panhandling to help him get free
of pauperism, which haint no joke,
and finds scabrous reply

ample reason to still his life,
though ma lovely grown daughters
would suffer psychic injury,
and forever be psychologically
marred if aye did merrily
row me figurative boat
over the abyss prithee
and hope for instant death
of mine aura, charisma, and karma see?

Tis probably pointless n frivolous
to expect presume salvation
for this married sexagenarian male,
yet nothing this capitalist ventured....
could do no worse
as my psyche doth emulate dancing quale
for being nearly penniless
(in this cornucopia of good n plenti), and rail
ling against fate may bring derision
per an unpredictable scale
argh - doth hardly shed light
on my penurious travail
cuz thy current checking account
without cents nor sensibility
yammers x2c ******* gasps
with a death rattle does wail

boot juiced....maybe lady luck shall draw
the gaze of one philanthropic facebook peeper
(at least enough largesse
to stave off self destruction of spouse)
welcome mat would willingly
be laid out for grim reaper
to whisk me away -
so I kin become an eternal sleeper
though each surviving loved one,
would be inconsolable weeper.

so...with fingers and toes
clasped I fervently pray
this mongrel mutt means
no bone(r) to pick
only that natural animal desire
that libidinal longing
to cop you late need to slay
lest my lament will be oy vey
so please take me -
any which way
yay!

This blurb hunted and pecked out
from ma Perkiomen Valley
mike crow scope pick dell
(actually reef fur ring a computer
manufacturer asthma
***** fide ****** dank cell)
and spends his days of his life
(as the world turns)
where dark shadows lurk
along this edge of night
off in near distant hour alarm
summoning like a suburban church bell
from outer limits of twilight zone
this self anointed force
without raising cain quite able.

October seventeenth
nineteen hundred sixty one
and October seventeenth
two thousand twenty four
represents, signals,
and traces sixty three orbitz
completed round the sun.
by one cherished,
(despite lapse of calling,
emailing, or texting),
nevertheless loved,
and prized Earthling
named Shari Todd Harris-Dunning.

More'n half (almost two thirds)
regarding aforementioned existence
of said sibling, whose life linkedin
with spousal enrichment dream academy,
while hunkered temporarily down -
until she and her significant other
embark on another globe trotting stint
livingsocial, in Bend, Oregon,
otherwise known as GADSHILL Farm,
hence the hyphenated married name.

Though said endearing youngest sister
approximately forty five plus months my junior,
ofttimes during earlier mein kampf,
she displayed quasi
maternal (motherly) mien.

Even back during mine boyhood
dark shadows stirred
along the edge of night
(emanating from outer limits
of the twilight zone),
which spooked me to flinch
as did appearance
of the boogeyman induce affright
only exacerbated my delicate mental health
which emotionally punctuated precariousness
within psyche of mine

with disequilibrium ******-social blight
above named sibling
a bonafide unflagging
prairie home fine companion
who made killer powder milk biscuits
even as kids (living in Lake Wobegone)
as children, she more so analogous
to being my Bobbsey Twin, I cite
twilled me in the valley
of love and delight,
with her divine guidance,

an emotional refuge rescued
sought deliverance from anguish
loving succor proffered
peace upon mine body, mind, and soul,
she did immediately expedite
warming cockles of me heart
analogous to affecting, creating,
forging, jumpstarting, offering, and ushering
ideal paradise island temperature
if measured by degrees
balmy fahrenheit 451 (ha)

pointing, revealing, shining,
and training a guiding-light
unafraid to defend diminutive
docile, inordinately meek brother,
when threatened courtesy bullies
that significantly towered over me
below average stature in height
a measly little skinny,
long haired pencil neck geek,
yet zany as Corbin
(very private joke) Bill Thurman's cat,

(when within comfort of home) lad
naively oblivious rebukes
delivered courtesy our mother,
when her second born daughter
a fiercely academic and dynamic student
ever since she set foot in the classroom,
or summoning forth indomitable courage
particularly when she got diagnosed
score of years ago being in the throes
of thalassemia anemia minor,
nevertheless honorably accepted

fallout from infrequent -
at most a small number
of memorable bouts of mischievousness
such as after smoldering marshmallows
damaging the brand new toaster oven
sparked, and kindled outburst
from mommy dearest
figurative tinder, which squabble
escalated in intensity
sparking vehement feud to ignite
loosing volatile verbal exchange

triggering (hyperbole on the way)
The Emergency Alert System
to issue warning
lest clear and present danger
(at 324 Level Road)
recorded in history books
licking flames, overshadowing, rivaling,
and undermining revolution
analogous to spelunker donning jacklight
before trumpeting unexpected goldmine.

yours truly (me) could not help but notice
while living social at various residences  
within Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
the following described phenomena
actually observed quite some time ago
maybe back during
my carefree boyhood days of yore
that the uncontrollable spurt
analogous to a golden arch
of micturition arcing
toward parts unknown
(frequently missing the target altogether,

and wetting the seat
subsequently displeasing the next person
more often than not the missus,
who sits upon wet porcelain goddess)
initially issuing from out
my diminutive male member,
(even when fully *****,
no longer than
a small walking stick
for a lucky leprechaun),
when said jet stream
makes splashy contact

affecting fountainhead into pissoir,
whereby a bathroom
tchotchke of Atlas shrugged,
which non verbal reaction spoke volumes,
the direction water got flushed within *****
subsequently clearly described
a clockwise pattern
whooshing within the labyrinth
eventually getting routed
to wastewater treatment plant
at least here within the bowels
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Actually even after flushing,
or using the sink to wash hands,
the water also drained
mimicking rotation of second
or minute hands of analog time pieces.

After finding myself
flush with excitement
presuming I discovered
some great earth shaking revelation,
a Google search quickly
and immediately chastened
premature ******* of excitement
that yours truly stumbled
upon magnificent phenomena
and matter of factly explained
the direction a toilet flushes,
whether clockwise or counterclockwise,

primarily determined
by the design of the toilet bowl
and the water jet's direction,
not by the Earth's rotation
(Coriolis force), which often mistakenly
believed to be the cause;
meaning the flush direction
can vary even within the same hemisphere
due to different toilet designs,
not necessarily consistent
with the "clockwise
in the Northern Hemisphere" myth.

The following words worth your time to read
no matter said poem crafted
maybe at most, a scant half score years ago
when forty fifth president
granted carte blanche to gut American government
poisoned seeds of life and white lily with dog speed
leaving the one tended garden of eden gone to ****.

Heil To The Warthog Chief Firebrand -
more worrisome than an ovarian cyst
or being brandshed with pugilist fist
upending the webbed
wide world of democracy he doth insist
guaranteeing United States of America
ship of state will severely list
then slipping into the behavioral sink.

Das boot trump out-
(oust him to) Waterloo
Eagerly awaits you
the then bully in the white house and true
as my Reince prescience foretells this poe
whit, that, yawl get a lucky strike
if ya keep yar show
fur one quarter off hiz terminal daze starring down
(with bad medicine), thee ole scarecrow!

╰☆╮ Thankfully, I'm not a royal heir
to the power monger hoarders╰☆╮
which comb hen might handy when borders
hermetically sealed - per heil hit lore
caw zing a furor with his stark
jumbo je ne sais quoi lay bean orders.

I dont wanna don a duck dynasty outfit,
or that of a wood chucker
but...holy *******
and kudos to any heckler,
who deems steam roller trump as a mean trucker

thus - for the umpteenth attempt to post
without any intention
to induce rabid reaction to roast
my *** (albeit scrawny just to be cheeky),
I **** rye America will burn like toast
if....mister money bags - to the finish line
of presidential electorate, he doth coast.

My anti Donald trump screed continues tut try
tip picture conjure pixelated stress less or more
WE MUST DO MORE THAN YODEL LOUD:
out....out...get...life not death, he seems to ab ****
ding **** Donald drake...out...of...here...
without...his security detail or...coat....of...
(Emperor wears no clothes) armor!

I will not condone political measures
from that mane lion kapo -
jabbering indiscretion!

Herewith follows a poem
I dashed off in a huff - to douse
dat auld don trumpeting joie de vivre
fin de siecle utopia of yesteryear
puffin sewerage bilge -
strike n horror n ma eyes -
for opinion aye espouse
based on scary political fracas
and looming nightmare -

whar mo' will grouse
to obstruct trump access
to black keys to white house
that a looming presidential nightmare
doth not become real - gruff louse
he will crush sacred freedoms,
whence western civilization goes off bluff
analogous to a rabid cat terminating
the life of more'n Mickey Mouse.

DUCK AFTER DUMP PING THE DON -
a pipe dream that will never take shape.

Air ring ma thoughts - no matter aye ham
juiced one twenty first century mwm ape
serves as genuine esse cape
to fly (during pitch black hours of night)
on his witch a ma call it...
to escape temporarily the cares and concerns
of an uncertain world,
where as an outlier from madding crowd I gape

at the sheer insanity
trumpeting strumpets donning an innate
prejudice and senselessness purr
blind faith toward self avowed demigod --
seize ***** viz Caesar -
forever linkedin with maxim
Veni, Vedi, Vici -
idolized statecraft motto
Trump perfects with his witch's brew he doth stir

his hair coiffed and puffed like it whir
wind blown kickstart ting mobs to stir
paying bodyguards to evict
ruckus-causing murmur
oh...how the masses will let this country
go to hell in hand basket -
blithely purging the Iran Nuclear Deal,
The Paris Climate Agreement
plus rack up stratospheric global debt

cause zing this one measly mortal male to fret
that totalitarian rule will force every man,
woman and child to march....het
two...three...four, while the billionaire
turns a third blind eye
speeds away in his foo fighter jet

argh...heavens to Betsy Ross,
Condoleezza Rice, Nancy Reagan,
and iggy pop  goo goo dolls
how did the fickle finger of fate let
this pompous ***
vacuums up majority votes
across world wide net
to finagle vox populi,
and groom hooligan nasty ruffian thugs
with smashed face as his smart pet.

GoLong Daddy story short -
pondering my rental circumstance
will be upended if this ret
chad, evil, googly-eyed, gastronomic,
narcissistic bullish Don will set
the spark for world war three -
via gone ah re: ha...ha...ha...to all vet
tureens within the American crucible melting *** -
with verbal whips and chains,
whose invective blast sucker punching
DACA, and those
who strain to uphold economic backbone
he does NOT STOP to undermine stoop labor,
which anonymous backs
he bloodies via twittering witless
birdbrain rot, unless....
Katrina and the Waves, superman
or the Sabrina can oust him yet!

I believed fortune cookie maxim
cryptic message couched
Apple Macbook Pro update process
alternately titled “markedly
a Luke warm welcome Matt unfurled
courtesy Jimmy John,
who embarked on
imp apostle bull mission
going to find Mark Twain.”  

After wracking my brain
deducing I declare what
constituted impossible mission
to delineate purpose of these words,
after initialled written
about six and a half years ago
my best hunch (backed up
while holed up in Notre Dame),
I agonizingly dutifully didst attempt
to distract anticipatory anxiety,

(analogous to an expectant father)
while delicate protracted procedure
ticked away the minutes,
where learned hands
gingerly tweezered various and sundry
state of the art electronic
components while trained fingers
instinctively, expertly, and admiringly
wrought awesome results
bitta bing bitta bang under the hood

of cherished Apple product
courtesy wizards hunkered down
troubleshooting laptop to restore functioning
of sophisticated electronic machine  
to ideal factory settings
quality control capability promised
nothing short of a miracle,
whereby engrossed deep thinkers
echoed the sound of silence
thru the corridors of time

olly olly gluten
free ranging NON GMO, oxen
oiled lubricated cloven hoof
nsync cup aided toot tune
to clacking choppers
activated after this chap
dialed up favorite technical director
using his latest smarts
vaunted from years
of breathing, eating, and living

malfunctioning circuits
housed on motherboard
exemplifying divine computer devices
generated by brain child
videre licet avast array
of embedded electronic components
back in the day
Electronic Numerical Integrator
and Computer (ENIAC),
completed in 1946

necessitated taxing physical prowess
additionally forced human interventionists
to shout over din o'er
loud grumbling within bowel
of bulky binary beast of burden
along vaguely similar scenario
buzzfeeding abdominal anatomical beast
easily appeased when yours truly
a gluttonous gourmand,
tasking me to commence upon

ordering food glorious food,
which magically and mysteriously appeared,
after manifold fiery breath
spewed by amazing dragons
**** forming breath taking
heart stopping mind bending
sensational aural and visual feast
low and behold
wresting, teasing, releasing soundcloud
an appetizer to sense
and sensibility tete a tete

while inhabiting (neigh – riding)
caparisoned painted ponies
segueing faux horse sense
(animated, captured, framed
and linkedin within carousel of time)
courtesy tony Apple iPhone X - 256 GB
Silver Verizon amazing pièce de résistance,
sans technological fetes
with CDMA/GSM ringtones,
where a pleasant fecund female

bot tilled voice didst greet
prepping, priming, promoting
Crowded House serving
blue plate special of the Green day
dis "FAKE" kin listener eagerly
awaited: salivating, simulating
****** soothing sans savory souffle,
the first culinary ******* savory dish,
after aye parked,
positioned, and plunked gluteus

near swinging doors leading into kitchen,
where this word maven strategically
dip posited said maximus to attempt
futile gastronomic endeavor
tum maximize tempering torturous tenacious
devastatingly deadly assault steaming enemy
disarmed disguised, and dismantled,
resplendent redolent redoubt
digitally remastering and remixing
non discerning indistinct aromas

emanating from naked lunch to supper esse
overwhelming paroxysms to gorge
putting a ritzy lid on heated fiery dogged
craving powder milk dog biscuits
(an impossible mission), where oozing,
licking, insinuating filaments
commingled as cutthroat
nemesis cooly whipped
devastatingly weeknd ecstasy
wickedly wafting, seducing,

satiating, and salivating
courtesy olfactory foramen,
deflecting incessant onslaughts
induced famished fellow
to reevaluate, relinquish,
and revisit his Weltanschauung soup per bowl,
while simultaneously commandeering cutlery
to attack, besiege, conquer
condemning delegate
of China ware without tea zing,

thence indiscriminately marshaling choppers
to set up base camp at Oral-B
(heeding flying pie warnings, where shewing
should desserts foe ment Hunger)
eggs sauce er baited
onslaught of herbaceous,
fabulous, delicious, and bodacious
culinary cuisine aromatic eats
thoroughly teasing growling stomach
steeping interminable suspenseful,

seven star Michelin magicians
empowered to transform most anything
(such as bilge water,
road **** or septic tank)
gourmet experienced huckster longingly *****
doubled as famished
Norwegian Bachelor farmer,
equating odoriferous garbage truck
on par suckling swollen teats
patience caved to restrain noshing

impaling his strict credo
on dustbin of his story
never again *** chew gnawing
even knuckles sandwich of fingers or toes
squishy human digits
texture of imported dates,
which hunger artist experienced pangs
voilà nothing short
of Pan's Labyrinth lesson,
did justice minimally satiated afterwards,

a restauranteur hoof hall
hues highbrow opinion,
hence a short survey about ambience,
yours truly will rate
perhaps unwise of an every
Jimmy John Joe gourmand
tubby biased after an apple ala carte blanche
preceded with delicious
hors d'oeuvre high marks
more nerve wracking
than going on a blind date.

And of course with enticing
forkful of flagrant food
Beep ping Update
completely disrupted first mouthful.

All la names bespeaking deity froom
Noah Mo' Room India Arc
of Covenant to crypt tick Blood
(sweat and tears) of
San Gennaro devout wowed,
and/or Turin shroud
consonantly, demonstrably,
desperately, faintly, glumly,
yet plaintively, muttered aloud,
no evading the steadily avowed

atheist approaching COSMO funnel
(dumb mental) stormy dan yell cloud,
cuz far as the eye could see -
at least by this Beatle browed
bipedal hominid (north, south,
east, and west), the conical, demoniacal,
and elliptical endowed
sky high reversed cone, bow wowed
wailing 10,000 maniacs +
same number of banshees

wove weft and white
across wide whirled web
whereat, the black vortex
vacuumed everything insight (chowed
down) with loud violent row
dee earsplitting soundcloud everything
within a vast path got plowed
obliterated, and annihilated proud
lee into bajillion smithereens,
hence mine entire being

held spellbindingly agog
frozen in place ruff lee akin
to well trained dog
without a chance to bark a blog
mired stock still courtesy,
sans extreme fear comp
pounded (maybe attributed
to absolute zero apr) via
quintessential supreme tear
roar immovable paralysis

plus helpless as pollywog
lacking seizure of critical
whatsapp cerebral cog
as if blinded by skewed light  
feeling doped up Asian a mental fog,
cuz nothing withstood
the incalculable suction
emitting barrage of sounds -
hmm...methinks or imagined,
I heard cry of a hog

amidst the pandemonium,
plus uproarious, ominous,
and insidious howl,
though still some
scant miles removed,
the deafening roar
felt like top of my head
blasted unable to jog
free (like a bajillion trained
thundering mashing monsters

at loggerheads) these screaming
quasi nemesis seemingly
horrifically, and directly
into my tender ears
constant subjection analogous
being ****** into a huge blender
to make eggnog
seemingly already felt
fate hermetically sealed,
where state of this Union

soldier reincarnate blocked
by quasi confederate, both of us
being shell shocked
blinded ability for me
to stand or wok
to plot life saving strategy,
meanwhile precious seconds
thinking about dark chalk
oh lot ticked away, and rocked
thee entire firmament punctuated

equilibrium by ram pent up ***
bull leave able decibels,
with Mother Earth locked
in life snd death battle accompanied
by volcanic explosions
humankind feebly mocked
puny battles, how so laugh
able compared and/or
contrasted nitpicking pelting,
and raining terrain akin

to cosmic giant that knocked
Gaia, whereby massive
objects in the mirror are closer
than they appear  
hurled at light speed deeply pocked
whirlwind raked every square inch
(triangulating, circulating),
videre licet topographic terrain)
witnessed me brazenly, frenziedly
and painstakingly crawling

to storm shelter
while simultaneously yanked
contrariwise ad hoc just in the sainted
nick of time, a flock
of seagulls (particularly Jonathan
Livingston swooped, and took me Bach
to the House At Pooh Corner
safely ensconced yay
fo' yew dear reader, cuz -
no mo' poetic schlock!

regarding my resumption
of daily/mostly nightly constitutional

I accompany my dark shadow...
(small number of  hours
before edge of night,
where twilight zone evokes night gallery -
drawing celestial sphere closer to me
from the outer limits),
and resumed walking a circuit
around perimeter of parking lot
imbibing the scent of Mother Nature
beginning today after

a hiatus of countless years -
aiming to foster stamina
before returning to the contra dance -
in Mount Airy after Paul Halpern
reconfigures pertinent characteristics
post cataract surgery
to fit appropriate spectacles)
meanwhile yours truly (me)
exercises his right to bare arms

air supply sustained
by breezy temperate
twenty seventh seal of Bergmanian
September two thousand
and twenty four, and perhaps
if regularly habituate myself
to said stroll physical endeavors
may one day find me to cantor or trot
and stop horsing around.

Yours truly realized modus operandi
to kombat (mortal) lethargy;
last year, he did stride rite
around resident parking lot area
(here at Highland Manor apartments)
then usually at approximately
19:00 hours each day
casually bumbling and ambling
one lap after another
counting one hundred and one,
one hundred and two,
one hundred and three...
coordinated with deep breathing
to distract self from repetitiveness.

Modicum of walking exercise
benefits this sexagenarian
in tandem yours truly began
burning ghee (my slang for calories)
while maintaining sitting position
placing each foot in strap
and pedalling lightweight machine
against adjusted tension.

Aside from strengthening leg muscles
choosing to while away time
by disciplining myself
with former or latter,
both modes of physical fitness
also help keep anguish at bay
(plus sublimating, and redirecting
formerly tied in with hair compulsion)
mental duress triggered
courtesy of property management
constituting: Zoftig, the warden

and maintenance man,
(a recent hire),
the first two whose invisible clutches
asphyxiate me and the missus
hounding us to keep
one bedroom apartment in shipshape order
and particularly and somewhat unpleasant
to wipe away fruit fly feces
(cuz exterminator informed us
said itty bitty teeny weeny insect
breeds within their

yellowish gummy waste matter)
prompting us to Google search
senior low income apartment facilities,
spurring spurious query wondering
whether any anonymous reader
might be able, eager, ready and willing
to hand over keys to main lodging
including carriage house,
we would even settle for a dog house
or (in a manor of writing) Yukon
assign access rights
to access an excellent outlook.

Sense and sensibility concerning
the emotional fallout
brought about by sedentariness
(essentially affecting me to feel
glum, melancholy, and ruminative)
helped goad generic indigent solitary man
(practically self quarantined
his whole mucked up adult life),
hence not inconvenienced
when coronavirus COVID-19
wrought havoc and mayhem.

Just on the cusp of experiencing joie de vivre,
the triumvirate of Crooks and Quade
figuratively swoop down
to announce re: inspection
of apartment unit B44
whenever they deem appropriate.

Thus series of unfortunate events
(linkedin with bull limey
Lemony Snicket bro)
got sidelined nsync with
contracting a minor bout
with deadly Amish Flu
symptoms include feeling horse
and a little buggy found
garden variety reasonable rhymer
faux being bedridden
(just pretending to get sympathy)
once again feigning feeling
a little horse and buggy (ha),
incapacitated to craft
original signature poetry writing,
cuz for your edification
most of these words written
at least a couple years ago.

An honest to dog confession
regarding hiatus spewing forth
vociferous versatile vocabulary
mine words - worth their weight in gold
(told woofer I do not know), nevertheless
included perusing a gamut of reading material.

The passion to engross intellect
witnessed courtesy immersing
attention, concentration, excitation
gratification, intoxication;
knowledge prized more precious
than fine spun gold.

Likewise crafting (albeit painstakingly)
elusive notions that flit
to and fro hither and yon
(analogous to ping pong ball)
within parameters of
microscopically crenellated
sixty plus shades of gray matter
also constitutes fervent interest.

Nonetheless this bard ****
videre licet punster mocker feels gratitude
courtesy Kaitlyn Gilsenan, PA-C
a moost deal height full medical technician
without cerumen eye zing
September 27th, 2024 'ere
and thank dog guardian angels,
who find me continually blessed
regarding audiological sense to hear,
whereby faculty sound waves
enter outer ear and travel through
a narrow passageway
called the ear canal,
which leads to the eardrum.

The eardrum vibrates
from incoming sound waves
and sends these vibrations
to three tiny bones in the middle ear.

These bones are called
the malleus, incus, and stapes
availing yours (us) truly to hear
such phenomena quite amaze zing
listening to structures of silence on wing
and prayer grateful dead ring
around the collar soundwaves,
which analogously ping
pong with supreme functionality
and pleasantly and gloriously bring
audible world wide web despite
my senescence, though
amazingly gracefully aging.

Vacuum suction instrument
extracted waxy secretion
made up of dead skin cells and hair
that combine with discharge
from two different glands
in case your not ad aware
allowing me to revel
detecting auditory sounds
particularly evening mating call
of a distant Neanderthal

cave woman dear
such simple pleasure + specialists
magic touch who restore
bitta bing bitta bang receive little fanfare
for the common man
though gratitude prompts this Harris heir
to wince as when Androcles pulled thorn
from out paw of lion ensconced in his lair
relief from short lived discomfort vis a vis
insertion to probe with utmost care

once again restores ability to detect
sounds far or near
sans glob of gelatinous goo aerates passage
way to appease head of this papa bear
he roars like Tony Tiger with utmost delight,
which might easily be confused as a glare
ring against blockage
wrought by ear wax ***
solid and to seat self and enjoy pleasure
of sitting on angelic porcelain chair

expending maximum exertion
to expel obstructed waste within uranus
jabbing little sphincter sphere
induces analogous painful defecation
from constipated rear
once either bound orifice freed from
gob lit tee **** obstruction finds
writing glorious air
no more extreme muffled nor pearl jam
fluid pressure in Eustachian tube

bring little relief analogous
experiencing swollen vein or
group of veins in **** aggravating hemorrhoids
pulled to the max and practically tear
ring until every last ounce of muscular
might applied via
primal screams filling the air,
whence solid waste
from body jettisoned on a par
which I reiterate above

with different wording
caked brown blockage making
this chap feel deaf and barely able to hear
when gooey resin from skin cells
lining our outer ear canals
constituting tiny glands relieved
from stopper like strikers at O’Hare
finally remedied from medical practitioner
an absolute save e year
allowing Matthew Scott Harris, who
once again can exalt in life without a care.

Though no medical practitioner,
yours truly doth assign
value to learn tidbits,
enamored how biology
and evolution did codesign
about body electric (mine)
being proactive to nip
in figurative bud potential detriment,
that usually gets diagnosed as benign,

especially biannual examination
concerning ears, nose and throat
relieved said ***** divine
delivering sonic boom, where
one mortal grovels, while fading
sunlight dances and
enables fading poetic moonshine
to manifest itself without rhyme
nor reason, neither sense nein

sensibility, no doubt readers pine
I desist tempting urge to combine
words together begot
as prodigy progeny
directly linkedin with
impressive "fake" authorial scion
just back after after taking extended
holiday/sabbatical within Apennine
Mountains to bolster every vital sign.

Modern medical science doth allow
enable, and provide this primate
cause he feels wowed at how
examinations every now
and again (usually six months apart)
Medicare doth pay
so one doggone old sow
war **** till death
doth him part, he will vow
to vet health issues,
and in the end barks a final bow wow.

despite entrenched familiar
obsessive compulsive disorder behavior
distracting me courtesy
countless what if scenarios,
particularly before undergoing
voluntary drastic makeover
as iterated in a previous poem,
and briefly recounted here
as foregoing Samson personification
now please don't blame Delilah!

Once the decision made
(two weeks ago
September twenty fifth
two thousand and twenty four)
to finally liberate yours truly (me)
(cue the following
Jean Jacques Rousseau quote)
"Man is born free but everywhere is in chains"
accommodating torture chamber
ala complex edifice,
(albeit invisible) *******

as tangible substitution
for undersized male member
(Sigmund Freud would be smiling)
heavily weighing down mine psyche
from harried styled
uncombed/unbrushed hair
evoking an immediate
message of nonconformity,
at last fixation nipped in the bud
immediately after beautician
rubber banded and scissored

hirsute trademark feature, a characteristic
larded with immense security
unequivocally not only
constituting a major emotional sink,
(but additionally posing environmental danger
as a potential superfund site)
long overdue for cleanup
hyperbole incorporated
to jump/kick start courtesy
tipping figurative hat
to faux generative artificial intelligence,

which amazingly
immediately delivered segway
vis-à-vis refreshing lightness of being
after bird's nest gratefully shucked off
loosed a horde
of dreadlocked exhausting fretfulness
(in addition to a rash of undiscovered biota)
linkedin to catastrophization,
whether the water
would unexpectedly cease flowing
while richly shampooing shock

of prized tangled mane,
or the electricity
would suddenly witness a power outage
disallowing the hair dryer to function
such irrational worries
(despite the unlikelihood
of either unexpected
inconvenience to occur),
nevertheless quite tiresome
sustaining outrageous thought patterns
exacerbated anxiety buzzfeeding

like nattering nabobs of nativity
and undermining peace of mind
when week after week, month after month
finally brought to a screeching halt
such debilitating mental exertion
suddenly ushering deliverance
videre licet a lightness of being,
and immediately allowed,
enabled and provided much
sought after psychological relief
likened to a gust of fresh air,

I vouchsafed to myself and the missus
to abide by much easier to manage
more fashionable impression,
thus swiftly tailored relief arose
once bedraggled unkempt ratty
and infrequently unwashed coiffure
shucked off once and for all,
no matter such drastic similar
transformations of appearance
peppered the life and times
of one long haired pencil necked geek,

whereat hands of time
would elapse bajillion times
inadvertently drawing unwanted attention
to out of vogue nineteen sixties hippy doo
invariable readopted as security blanket
to stave off
uncomfortable risks
foisting interpersonal experiences
upon head and shoulders
of deplorable basket case
unwittingly referenced from Hillary Clinton.

Describes celibate bent aegis.
Mein kampf illustrates gravitas.

Underdog muted lest intimidation
think bully brandishing fist in my face
threatening to buzzfeed me
a brassy knuckle sandwich.

While breezily reading Judy Bloom,
(whose material geared
toward young adult)
book titled Blubber - published in 1974,
(which year found yours truly - me
undergoing amazing transition
classified as puberty)
bemoaned childhood's end - id est mine
interestingly enough romanticized boyhood
livingsocial within Lake Woebegone

(way before Garrison Keillor
named said fictitious town),
purely swiftly tailored
harried styled fabrication,
although that first decade
found torturous growing up years
more so courtesy
self exclusion from reindeer games,
thus during lunch or recess
(two most favorite classes)

bullies turned me into minced meat
taunted and teased
a severely socially withdrawn boy,
who never shared emotional agony,
he internalized verbal slings and arrows
eventually physically succumbed
from brickbats indiscriminately
lobbed at painfully shy
once upon a time happy go lucky lad,
(with a button nose),

when he whiled away days of his life
as the world turned
first at Lantern Lane
for about a half dozen plus years,
then at 324 Level Road
for approximately
one third of present existence
unbeknownst to him
that psychologically dark shadows
lurked within the outer limits

of the twilight zone
haunting corporeal essence
attached to those lovely bones,
now saddled with excess adipose tissue,
especially around belly of the beast
housing hunger artist
starving for knowledge,
and peopling his overactive imagination
with exemplary protagonists
blithely thwarting incendiary threats,

cuz of natural born defense against
gunning character assassination
courtesy fearsome imbeciles
hell bent on nasty, short and brutish fiends,
who did their collective bidding
vis-à-vis cut throat leviathan,
who overshadowed and locked in
propensity to live free and clear
analogous to unfettered noble savage
cannibalizing yours truly (me) as fancy feast.

Soul asylum salvation sought
as if survivor of mental health challenges  
akin to foreigner trying
to sidestep gingerly self annihilation.