after reading the article
(published in the July + August 2024
issue of Mother Jones)
titled Raging bull - Donald Trump's
pugilistic spokesman has taken
campaigning to a whole new level of low.

Beyond the lookout
for Huyen "Steven" Cheung
(born June 23, 1982)
an American political advisor
Donald Trump's campaign spokesman
in the 2023–24 Republican primary
and served in the Donald J. Trump administration.

He previously worked in Trump's 2016
and 2020 campaigns.

Brilliant gifted package of brains and brawn,
his crude quips against opponents,
(which includes politicians of all stripes),
cut down and figuratively quartered
reduced courtesy raw bits of biting riposte
forced into thralldom, cuz Trump world
adversaries sacrificial fodder roasted alive
all stops pulled out except blood relatives,
where merciless cutthroat antagonism drawn
sycophants molded like putty in the hands
of Voodoo magic spellcaster henchman
disabling staunch radical transgressors

think how frozen blinded deer fawn,
videre licet buckle under headlights glare
immobilized lifeless body
courtesy invisible hawn
fricasséeing, mincing, skewering,
and frankly zapping unwitting victim
par for the coarse faux jambon,
or sprinkled as rich nutrient
upon manicured lawn
housing consecrated ashes
disintegrated lovely bones of Memnon
stands proud as genetic product of Nippon.

Upon first immediate glance
his seventy two plus inches
presents overshadowing, looming,
and hulking mound of flesh
capped with large oblong head,
his likeness surpasses,
supersedes, and summons
idealistic awesomeness of
(Jean Jacques Rousseau) noble savage
beastie boy incarnate,
nevertheless he only poses a menace
to any and all who cross his path.

His physical prowess proved time and again
evident as high school football player then
soon thereafter, he channeled latent might
as martial arts fan
and dabbled in taekwondo,
and Muay Thai boxing
answering the call to ring communications
linkedin to testosterone laden
UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship).

I would not wish to be caught,
in a dark alley with him;
me, who (resembles an aging hippie
and long haired baby boomer)
with accidental affectations somewhat effete
laud a fellow generally antithetical
to my quiet and gentle mien;
no matter yours truly tauts his grandeur

on well poised amazingly graceful feet
exhibits art in motion,
and ability to throw a judicious punch
combined with said averred
robust pillar of strength
being politically savvy
and whip smart to boot
qualities I envy and admire.

Quite challenging,
yet not quite impossible mission
to wax poetic toward an individual
exemplifying the complete antithesis
of mine body, mind and spirit
and synonymous with flattering a bully
for the shear confident bravado
exhibited, which winning qualities
guarantee a success brand
within cutthroat political
webbed wide world effects expand
ever outwar affecting mien kampf

analogous to a monstrous tropical storm
acknowledged as more powerful
(than my measly, and wimpy strength)
that doth move inland,
which earth-shaking event headline
sells papers at the newsstand
years from now techniques
of his stellar machismo masterfully characterized
courtesy elephant gingerly
standing, grandstanding, and balancing on one foot
will serve as object lesson for aspirants
nasty brutish modus operandi
scrutinized, schooled and scanned.

irksomely chafe and dig
(analogous to a bit size backhoe -
contracted courtesy local builders
Gambone Brothers) inside lip
on left side front of mouth
not surprisingly creating
quasi irritated sore welt
(as if I got smacked in the face

from out of the blue)
achingly painful dilemma
particularly whenever I bite and chew food,
which compromised mastication
seriously prompted eating soft
(goo goo gaga baby) with no pablum,
or yours truly switching
to a liquified diet of worms.

Aforementioned minor
physical oral ailment
reminiscent when yours truly
donned, sported, and touted braces
(on two separate occasions)
to double necessary rites of passage
since yours truly
glutton for punishment
while segueing from adolescence
into young adulthood

gifted with moderate sized overbite,
yet not full fledged
buck teeth the first go around,
where metal brackets
and/or little pins pierced, jabbed,
gouged, et cetera
into tender gummy flesh
generally unpleasant nasty encounter
super tramping as
cheaply tricked out human pin cushion
****** well right.

Methinks of the hours of veritable torture
spent seated in orthodontic chair,
where initial appointment
found me situated with maw opened
for stretches of time
that would be dwarfed
by subsequent pluperfect future hours
getting a numb bony ***
while veritably held hostage
courtesy the vise grips of dental technician.

I can never forget
experiencing preliminary step
into requisite initiation
getting an eventual smile
worth a million bucks
firstly to create gap (wide enough
to drive a mack truck thru),
which spacers essentially
little rubber squares
(at most an inch long)
to allow, enable
and provided leverage buyout
paid for by a pretty penny
prior to getting metal bands
bonded and insured to pearly whites.

Adjustment to being fitted
for dentures didst overly bite
recounted, recircled, and recapitulated
analogous when jaws underwent restructuring
where aforesaid maxillofacial territory
felt subjected to miniature
jackhammer and dynamite
forthwith adumbrated as memory takes flight
re-envisioning maximum headroom
affecting yours truly experiencing whiplash

as countless hands practically reached
into me ******* plunging
dentistry implements and gloved fingers
into buccal cavity
from soaring wuthering height
nearly choking yours truly
expediting at expense of mine cavum oris
carrying out veritable
fishing and hunting expedition
courtesy overhead jacklight

figuratively yanking tooth
and nail mustering might
allowing, enabling and providing opportunity
for tomorrow's dental practitioners
essentially dental students namely neophyte
took stab at a subjected human Guinea Pig -
as relegated to scientific experimentation
I tried to be agreeable and polite
at the mercy of said novitiate quite right,
now crafting epistle as a toothless troglodyte.

     Never during the story of my life asper present moment, whereby this body electric then witnessed LVIII celebrations of a womb dar full in utero gestation, and subsequent exit per birth canal in one direction ejected like some **** the torpedo or other lobbing hand grenade, or discharging any other type of ballistic military ordnance and after twice undergoing beautification of ma smile; first enduring gagging on quick hardening cement as benchmark impressions, spacers, thence soon followed by wearing braces.
     Membership to this adolescent rite of passage entailed requisite name calling as the victim remained mum imposed incommunicado what with wires that jabbed, pricked, and stuck every square inch of gums teasing the tillerman tongue felt furrowed plow as soft tissue became abundantly blistered chafed, and diced raw.
     Numerous teeth extractions later (which did smarted my wisdom), the drill mongering requisition team (incorporating a rooted right bitewing conspiracy), said prisoner interrogation attained the pinnacle of pain per practiced collaboration between vaunted, sainted long in the tooth professionally smocked specialists.
     These accredited, certified, and licensed torturers frenziedly insouciantly cackled with hair rising, maniacal, spine tingling pleasure while intermittently interrogating strait jacketed anesthetized subjected patient.
     Thee prisoner of Zenda implanted with gag reflex additionally besieged to a battery of expensive costly abuse.
     Such quaint ratified regular rigmarole included suctioning lips til dry as sawdust in preparation for (not to be mist witnessing open mouthed wide world) recalcitrant subject handily restrained as he/she barely weathered unpalatable quintessentially royally smitten to the nerve.
     This electric kool acid test basically pitched the heavily sedated sorely saddled seated subject into a novel threshold of oral suffering.
     The confederated legion of amalgam hated plaque attackers banded teeth forcing a tectonic shift of pearly whites to relocate closing gaps, where uber an crowdsource rank and file groupon identity guard did lyft suspected gumption, hence a healthy dose of x-rays served up to nip in the bud involving any tongue in cheek intervention, when perfectly viable molars thinned i.e. uprooted courtesy of orthodontic gang.
     Now incremental movement could be undertaken pursuant impressing well-brushed aides de camp.
     Thus temporarily crowns vis a vis provisional proviso practitioners of the villainous periodontal disease (qua gingivitis) stitching cavity where exposed synapses earned the chair rushed survivor of fiendish, ghoulish, and insidious enamel (tartar) scraping chieftains earning kudos sans at successfully foiling dental caries, plus serving as grandee enamel polisher.
   All that excruciating agony iterated above, now finds me shaking this mangy hirsute, (albeit thinning) head in consternation, frustration and induction, whereby microbial demons exercised, foisted and galvanized necessity to suffer.
     Interestingly enough, these choppers, dentures, false dentate much more pleasing that the real bone marrow wrought teeth courtesy of many a fraternal gauntlet hugger mugger.
     Maxillofacial surgery and wisdom teeth extraction plus abiding by the codas, edicts and general indemnity keeping American Dental Association in lockstep with noblesse oblige purveyors who tout regular dental hygiene.
     This new fangled cusp cutting prosthetic revolution per anatomical equipage that allows, enables and provides the means to return to masticating brought protracted hermetically sealed dissimulation within the noggin of this more tell male, who confesses to be a non student within the hierarchy of a bricks and mortar storied (perhaps ivy coated) institution of higher learning on account of rampant mental debility hashtagged diagnosis of Schizoid Personality Disorder cobbles, hobnails, and mangles any ability to function within the formal classroom. Case in point comprises the twelve years of veritable enslavement while barely getting promoted from one grade to the next.
     Even though handed a high school diploma XL (pipelined) traipsing orbitz ago around the sun, this contemplative, furtive, and intuitive lvii chap experienced horrendous difficulty ******* mine faux pas figurative heals up until the recent present. The acquiescence to relinquish the prospect to batten down anxiety and panic strewn hatches turned the tide, and found me giving up the good fight.
     A congenital biochemical mutation (I cannot expound on the minutiae of amino acid, enzymes, polymer, et cetera) that wrought havoc viz zit head upon thyself when in the throes of adolescence, despite thine late mum purportedly experiencing NO complication with me birth as a full term healthy baby boy.

Any idea regarding who unnamed individual earned such lofty title? I offer a clue, that averred person unknown to many others within the webbed, wide world, and familiarity limited to smattered kith and kin. Lemme know if dead giveaway ala handy dandy blues clue prompted that "aha" realization.

Hero worship in the age of cynicism
baffles one disillusioned eccentric,
who prides himself (without prejudice),
bolstered courtesy his sense and sensibility
self actualized ex post facto
compliments of nasty
and brutally destructive
purblind (in retrospect,
raffish, selfish) endeavors
nearly devastating, harpooning

cocky eye looey fella,
lopping, et cetera
pledged troth July twenty fifth
nineteen hundred and ninety six
made when unbridled marital covenant accepted,
scuttled in favor of liberating libidinal longings
largely licensing licentious liaisons
simultaneously, permanently, and majorly
compromising, jeopardizing, violating
once especially cherished bonds

between father of two darling daughters,
(the eldest - a recent
University of Pennsylvania alumni
approaching her twenty eighth birthday
December 22nd, 2024 -
once upon a time hashtagged as daddy's girl)
cut himself down to size of raw bits
particularly indecorous flagrant callousness
emotional and financial niggardliness
he lavished with paltry

acquired scant monies
acquired courtesy family beneficence
(chump change received such as
for mine birthday and holiday gifts -
cashed treasury bonds before maturity)
spent acquisition or borrowed currency
on meager trappings for yours truly
where (barely able,
nay impossible mission) to meet costs
of living social on the MainLine

within Lower Merion School District
offered superlative public education -
to challenge first born GIEP student
and second offspring,
who exhibited developmental delay,
thus whose IEP pared down so she could
rally approbation in the form
of attagirl, kudos, stickers, et cetera)
slightly more manageable,
yet being chronically unemployed

(and unemployable – before qualifying
for government largesse)
until I met criteria
and bankrolled unearned income
to receive social security disability,
still sorely challenged person
writing these words
to meet paying rent and utilities,
and also linkedin
to significant mental health challenges

in tandem with faith no more,
and abandonment of attaining potential smarts
regarding accessing academic gifted aptitude
thwarted, stymied, hijacked to Cuba, et cetera
marked ambivalence toward self success
nearly failed every grade
even kindergarten - ha
and sustained behavioral pattern
earning me poor marks
when launching feeble

attempts to work,
and managed to witness being terminated,
thus accruing splendid curriculum vitae awash
with horrendous, and deleterious feedback
unflattering to say the least
and unfavorable to college/
university admissions officials,
plus being long haired
pencil neck geek
when doos more conservative),

a definite strike against
unseen positive impression
videre licet in the eyes of potential employer,
whereby poor performance
track record signaled a red flag
accumulating over time
to affect dark shadows qua nine inch nails
scratching across outsize blackboard,
foo fighting, beastie boys bullying
scaring the bejesus out of me unsure

outer limits of the twilight zone
inhabited, where the wild things live
hovering at the edge of night
subsequently spurring yours truly
to dejectedly slink along
the hallowed halls of higher learning
to savor the sounds of silence
being secreted and sequestered
within bedroom inside domicile
of my boyhood, adolescence,
and emerging adulthood.

Omnipresent grief and horror
abounds toward ceaseless killing fields
impossible mission for me
to summon forth fading magic powers
since Delilah imposter hashtagged,
(and subsequently outed)
as a mortal (know your) enemy, -
nevertheless became the love of my life -
(sent by complicit
Philistine officials to entice me)

nearly found yours truly
inveigled, ensnared, and ambushed
in sinister plot to lop off
cherished locks of love
while immersed in deep sleep,
when I came to just in the nick of time,
and wrested control by grabbing scissors
being violently brandished
courtesy turncoat paramour,
a mere hair breath away

from snipping brunette tresses of mine:
luckily a surge of strength
coursed thru body electric
allowing, enabling and providing me
golden opportunity
to don invisible cloak of invincible
and trumpet genuine ambition dash off
to the Middle East
shucking any intent to proselytize,
but availing these

threescore and five year old
helping hands of mine
never subjected to laborious
rigorous back breaking work,
and matter of fact I figuratively
and literally short changed myself
courtesy mental health issues
that plagued yours truly
even as a young lad
forever ostracized, intimated, and excluded

predicated upon diminutive
physical mite size boy
noticeably socially withdrawn,
and when I did stammer out an utterance
the vocalization soundedly severely nasal
(envision thumb and index finger
of one or the other hand
clamping the nostrils)
attributed to submucous cleft palate,

a congenital defect of the palate,
which forms the roof of the mouth;
said cleft (or opening)
located underneath the mucous membrane,
which the tissue that covers
the roof of the mouth:
A submucous cleft affects the uvula,
which is the long tissue that hangs
from the back of the palate.

After years of wearing a removable
oral prosthetic device -
(since surgery could only guarantee
a fifty fifty outcome of correction), -
said contrivance latched onto
front upper and rear teeth
the surrounding strengthened
to decrease high pinched sound.

Unsure if and/or how whimsical notion
(to volunteer in whatever humble capacity)
yours truly could bring to fruition
to ease the humanitarian crisis
since abundance of individual strands
thinned since prime (mating) years
witnessed a visible thinning
and concomitant ebbing of prowess

sorely affects brute strength
of one ailourophilic, generic,
and politic wordsmith
feeling blessed with soundness
of body, mind and spirit
courtesy of the English language,
hence drawn to the milieu of communication
in general and writing in particular.

within complex edifice...
derelict hulking corpse delineated courtesy
seared, singed, smoldered smithereens
formerly robust warrior
slain during prime of his life
heavenly corporeal outstanding entity
subjected to fateful foragers
courtesy camping buzzfeeding carrion -
fancy feast for famished
uber twittering, jump/kick starting
crowing angry birds

made short shrift
decayed discarded detritus
filched flesh from felled soldier
denuding human legendary poet
picked bone clean
his once powerful promising physique
skeletal remnants displayed burnt offerings
abandoned sun bleached,
petrified lovely bones
strewn across a field of shattered dreams
desiccated skull detached situated askew

athwart castoff liberated phalanges
impossible mission to envision
former formidable specimen
fallen hero pronounced earthen imprint
traced impression outlining
his outsize stature
bonafide definition where his corpse laid
only memory remains of doodling yankee,
(a Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe)
harkening back and plucked from
the "little town that time forgot
and the decades could not improve."

Composite character sketch
of arbitrary conjured fighting
jaunty opportunistic understudy
strong likely to be template
of actual anonymous template
forgotten in the aftermath melee of battle
subsumed by and belonged to history,
a bit part he played after
North and South pitted against each other,
though the former named Union soldiers
during the War Between the States
acquired many names and nicknames,

especially by the Confederates:
They were called Billy Yank,
blue bellies or blue coats,
which spontaneously generated idea
came to my mind linkedin
to a personal affinity
for aforementioned rebellion to some people
after Confederate troops fired
at 4:30 a.m. April 12, 1861
on Fort Sumter April 1861
initially President Lincoln
described the situation as an “insurrection.”

But within months,
he instead adopted “rebellion.”

That word evoked
a more distinctly negative connotation
then than it does today,
or rather prior to the heavily armed,
Trump-incited mob attack
of Jan. 6, 2021, an attack
(premeditated in my humble opinion)
not just on the U.S. Capitol building,
but also on democracy and the rule of law.

Though at no time did I enlist
in the armed services,
(although after high school
my parents coaxed, goaded,
and loathed their second born
and only son intimating
becoming a nonconformist,
and nonestablishmentarian, ne'er do well,
(which outcome adequately sums
up how mein kampf evolved),
nevertheless yours truly exhibits

psychologically traumatic wounds
synonymous with the horrors of mortal kombat,
and clear out of the blue
behavior associated with deadly carnage
oozed out from every one of my pores,
misleading an observer to deduce
writer of these words experienced
and underwent text book example
being shell shocked
under heavy bombardment.

At present attention of mine plugged into a biography titled Custer's Trials | A LIFE ON THE FRONTIER OF A NEW AMERICA | storied author T.J. STILES, current reading material populates thought processes of mine with trappings of internecine bloodshed forever wrenching fledgling United States of America away from slave holding Southern lifestyle.

Enslaved people in the antebellum South constituted about one-third of the southern population. Most lived on large plantations or small farms; many enslavers owned fewer than 50 enslaved people. Landowners sought to make their enslaved completely dependent on them through a system of restrictive codes.

Despite the temperature being five below...
these fingered handy limbs
awash with profuse sweat
dripping palms analogous
to a ****** busted gushing water main.

Mein kampf analogous
to a self made prisoner
who cannot escape being terrorized
and tortured within invisible
hermetically sealed walls of air tight prison
regularly hunted down
courtesy malevolent daemons
blood curdling deathly silent screams
echo within the sound of silence.

Earlier today some jokester
(like a batman out of hell
came round boppin
like some robin
after their diet of worms)
riddling mine psyche
into a war torn zone analogous
into a veritable no man's land
heavily strewn with deadly explosives

detonating deafening explosive
rife with volatile anxiety,
I felt hunted and targeted
like a common criminal
forced to scuttle
meager barebones existence,
and gladly plunge into an abyss
unbeknownst to me
on par with Dante's inferno.

Hours after grueling life and death battle
keppie (in Yiddish a lighthearted
and endearing way
to refer to a head or forehead)
severely suffered bruises and lacerations
courtesy familiar enemy
(known to me donned
as trumpeting evil
doppelgänger barren of virtue)
relentlessly sadistically and tyrannizing
mutilating corporeal flesh
until flayed muscle and tendon
abandoned as ****** heap.

Visitation of cruel taskmaster
(omnipresent every waking
and sleeping moment of hellish
fiery brimstone existence)
repeatedly brutalized yours truly,
no matter I did plead for mercy
for spirit who usurped eminent domain
to please cease and desist
punishing life lessons
making a cameo appearance

after a reprieve of temporary truce
to drive me towards the maws of death,
yet stopping just shy of beating
the living daylights out
generic lovely bones genetically assigned
to one frazzled sexagenarian,
whose hellish existence
nearly brought to an untimely end
when victimized fellow
subjected to a maelstrom

of suicidal ideation
when a mere adolescent lad
and days, weeks, months...
years, decades, scores
of ragged orbitz round the sun
chock full of accursed torment
barely alleviated courtesy
nine prescription medications
authorized by credentialed nurse practitioner
predicated on symptoms of social anxiety,

dysthymia, obsessive compulsive disorder
absolute zero relief
against wanton depredations
rendered ineffective today
the seventh of June
two thousand and twenty four,
hence a feeble intent to communicate
insufferable beast of burden
wracking one figurative rolling stone.

I managed to drive to and fro a short outing
dodging, hedging, lunging away
from slippery grasp of nemesis
attempting to pull
at sorry these excuse for legs
nevertheless seriously lacerating epidermis
only to realize, the horrific killer
left his tell tale signature
with ****** phalanges
dangling from wrists linkedin to my arms.

hence yours truly (me)
seeks mental health services
without any luck
even after reading Scripture
from my namesake who exuded pluck
after paging thru
the AETNA Medicare directory,
whether a group practice or individual,
I expended energy and precious time today
June sixth two thousand and twenty four

hoping to get linkedin and truck
with a suitable therapist,
cuz various and sundry issues
such as chronic anxiety, dysthymia,
obsessive compulsive disorder,
and panic attacks plagues
sexagenarian old body electric
matter of fact mein kampf
and hard times reducible
to four letter description
conveyed by the word yuck.

Exhaustion prevails courtesy emotional distress
self evident to any anonymous reader
predicated on morose poetry of mine
invariably discouraging positive ambitions
for friendship receiving,
yet I experienced
unexpected welcome response
from over the hills and far away
where Teletubbies come to play with me,
whose fealty being a ***** buddy
gratitude sexagenarian does express
and so what if three score
plus five year old does regress.

Once upon a time
more than half century ago,
in a faraway galaxy
this second born and singular son
of Harriet and Boyce Harris
(mother and father since passed away
May third two thousand and fifteen,
and October seventh
two thousand and twenty respectively) though
both parents during their lifetime
beset with impossible mission
to administer to my psychological woe
and actually unwittingly exacerbated

dysfunctional behavior of mine
exhibited, jump/kick started,
and witnessed videre licet
courtesy their verbal
browbeating with ultimatums
aghast at irregular impulsive decisions
to attend this, that or another institution
of higher learning
post high school graduation
psyche subjected to actions experienced
being whipped back and forth,
to and fro, hither and yon
analogous to ma yo-yo.

Scads of irrational thought processes
bombard nooks and crannies
within me swiftly tailored
harried styled noggin
sense and sensibility
doth create veritable boondoggle
stumping psychological masterminds
even Sigmund Freud himself if alive
would be mystified and ask ghost writer
of Mary Shelley to craft sequel,

where Doctor Victor Frankenstein
rids trademark neurosis of mine
shape shifting Matthew Scott Harris'
witnessed when whirled
wide web of electrodes
activated courtesy toggle
subsequently flash brilliant lightning bolts
in tandem with deafening booming thunder
reconfiguring bitta bing bitta
chitty chitty bang bang switch  

rendering corporeal cerebral flesh
truly significantly reconstituting
dogma, enigma variations, karma,
and persona of aforementioned
poet of Perkiomen Valley into altered state,
whose psychological state now mimics,
dovetails, and approximates
that of Neanderthal man
forever linkedin to seventh heaven.

orchestration, and utilization,
a moss fungi (fun guy) attests his marriage
synonymous with symbiotic relationship.

Nostalgic acquiescence about fictitious life,
oblivescence about current travails
and reminiscence about
transcendence into utopia
prompts me to revisit livingsocial,
now that yours truly
among the grateful dead.

As a saprophyte,
the missus buzzfeeds off me lovely bones
once plump with excess adipose tissue
otherwise known as body fat,
a connective tissue
that extends throughout body electric
found under your skin (subcutaneous fat),
between your internal organs (visceral fat)
and even in the inner cavities of bones
(bone marrow adipose tissue).

Over the ensuing two score and ten years
after pledging our troth, the missus
(opposed with a vehemence
keeping her maiden name,
or even acquiescing
maintaining surname
with hyphae fun nation),
and yours truly at one time or another
from the day we met
until the present moment

invariably, intolerantly, intimately,
intentionally, intemperately, insultingly,
insufficiently, insidiously, insincerely,
insensitively, insensibly, inscrutably,
inquietly, injuriously, inhospitably,
inharmoniously, infuriatingly, infernally,
inexorably, ineffably, indubitably,
indescribably, indelibly, incredibly,
increasingly, incessantly, incalculably,
ineluctably molded unnamed spouse.

Truth be told, the grudging acceptance to wed
made indirectly and courtesy
unbeknownst and linkedin
to our unborn eldest daughter
about four months in utero,
when marriage date chosen
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
since yours truly and my then girlfriend
abstained from birth control
tantamount to playing Russian roulette,
and decided to let natural insemination
trigger conception between
twelve and twenty four hours after ovulation.

Neither of us the least bit prepared
economically nor emotionally,
which urge to procreate
superseded sense and sensibility,
and in retrospect,
I readily admit flagrant
negligent ****** recklessness
(no matter physical ******* monogamous),
and an adamant refusal to use prophylactic
or more commonly known as ******.

Though excited to sow seminal seeds of life
a panic stricken state afflicted me,
when consensual concurrence
to consummate copulation occurred,
nevertheless ecstasy at potential fatherhood
brought courtesy the resultant
unexpected positive result
yielded from pregnancy kit.

Back in the day libidinal longing
(in my pinion) wracked ****
of accursed celibate
Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe,
where merest suggestion
of ******* thoughts
hounded doggone muttering
dove head lettered man
all the way to Antioch
feverish pitch I could not block
found mine doodling ****
to crow night and day
without let up to dock
****** solitude a worse fate
than therapy zapping gray matter
with wave after wave oven electroshock,
a divine sterling erectile rod
hoping gallivanting frisky felines would flock.

The views and opinions herewith extemporized to spur discourse with me, or to be mindful when exercising the right to vote in the country of your existence, which expressed intimation predicated upon read reliable publications such as Mother Jones, Smithsonian Magazine, The Nation, The Week, and TIME Magazine, which trustworthy and reputable sources of information brought to the fore of me noggin an alarming concern for those who consider themselves liberal Democrats, Libertarians and even moderate Republicans aware of avast conglomeration of bullies hell bent on usurping power upon  self aggrandizement, or exploitative foreign policy necessitating the need for courageous actions witnessing demagogic control over the inalienable rights inherent in all species to thrive to the limits of their potential unviolated, unmolested, and unharmed.

Omnipresent lurch toward authoritarianism...

not only self evident
across these United States of America,
but also prophetic throughout
the developed nations
of the webbed wide world
threatens progressive states' rights
linkedin to the former -
purported best western country
potentially upending hard fought freedoms
of nascent life, liberty

and the pursuit of happiness
manifesting invisible hand,
where secular humanism
throve against patriarchal churchly dictates
early in American history,
where radicals of the day
destined to stamp out blind faith
courtesy antithetical, heretical,
and parenthetical () proud zealots
awash with indignation

(causing more than indigestion) against
analogous strait jacket
inhibiting once noble savage,
whose inchoate acquisition of cognition,
and subsequent recognition,
where donned liberals of the day
trumpeted sedition visa vis
fancying, discovering, and broadcasting
idea promoting innovative
socially mediated shutter flying,

twittering, tick tocking contract
where biblical ethos did captcha
cannibalistic, fatalistic, immoralistic
fifty bajillion shades of gray matter
as eminent domain
established Judeo-Christian paradigm
across then global realm,
which mindset promulgated hegemony
quashing nativist bred beliefs
violently lashing, teeth gnashing,

saber flashing clashing, et cetera
with awakening enlightenment
Yes (Blue Oyster Cult)
initially fomented Mötley Crüe
dead set upon imposing might as right
stifling pockets of
surprisingly strong resistance
fostering eventual seeds of dissent
countless times sparking renegade
to spill figurative beans

to iron maiden adversary
fielding winning outcome
to totalitarian potentate,
nevertheless intermittent feeble mutiny arose
quickly jump/kick starting disguised claque
to depose the loathsome enemy
intent to extinguish belligerent autocrat,
who forcefully usurped dominance
slaying population of primitive peoples
brutally forcing young

abducted fecund females
to beget progeny populating domain
courtesy nasty, ruthless vainglorious warlords
wreaking mayhem and bedlam
in an angry bird like effort
to create opportunistic scenario
for successful invasion
of the body snatchers,
particularly at the helm
guiding analogous ship of state

one oafish outsize, and portly
self proclaimed führer of sought after *****
ideally bloviated, inerbriated, and venerated
over stuffed ego freezer
donning his spiffy, haughty, doughy body
sporting noggin atop which sits
trademark hirsute orange mop top
inciting the capital one furious mob
(poised and pregnant
metaphorically like tightly coiled tension

able, eager, ready, and willing
just impatiently waiting proper cue to strike
like stormy Daniels)
at the mercy of their commander
leading his ragtag army in battle
imagine dragons bellowing fiery ejaculations
where amidst the pandemonium
militaristic troops unwittingly  
hold entire country hostage at gunpoint
no exit (stage door left)

nor escape for any unfortunate
soon to become prisoner
seeking soul asylum,
an impossible mission
(even for one as adept as Peter Graves)
caught in the figurative and literal maws
of long planned coup d'état
fascistic die hard armed force
encircling the seat of government
miles beyond the outer limits

of the concertina wired zone,
where dark shadows
hover signalling a severe thunderous storm
analogous to perpetual edge of night
obscuring the sheltering sky
depicting deafening soundcloud
and the final gasping exhalations
of chastened democracy.

that our apartment unit B44
received thumbs up
meaning that we passed
the grueling, and harrowing yearly inspection
three days ago - May 28th, 2024.

About a week prior,
when notification circulated
(validating horror about to befall us
as averred courtesy the rumor mill)
courtesy requisite yearly inspection
property manager Kathleen Bergen
placed rolled up
printed one page important bulletin
in respective door handle
of each occupied apartment,
where an individual resident
or married couple - like us – lived),

yours truly and the missus
immediately sprung into action
whereby each of one our
separate nervous systems
underwent uncontrollable bouts
triggering violent expansion and contraction,
where we both made simultaneous
beeline for the bathroom
synonymous with severe bout
of irritable bowel syndrome.

Premonitory signals foretold
the approaching day of reckoning
vis a vis ominous hellish havoc
tell tale warnings since the beginning of time,
whereby frightful visitation
of inquisition videlicet triumvirate
would manifest headless horseman,
as a supernatural entity,
representing a past that never dies,
but always haunts the living.

“The headless horseman
supposedly seeks revenge—and a head—
which he thinks unfairly taken from him"
according to one Franz Potter
additionally equally as unwelcome
as one of the feared biblical plagues
id est: Some of these include:
(1) water turning into blood;
(2) frogs and arov (which arrived together;
arov supposedly originally meant

a mixture of creatures that came
to oppress the Egyptians
in the fourth round of the plagues
nobody knows any more,
but usually translated
as flies or wild animals);
(3) a swarm of locusts;
(4) a destructive hailstorm;
(5) an outbreak of cattle disease
(technically the text says “hail” again …

like totally obscuring
artificial or real illumination
hiding looming dark shadows
edging ever closer
portending, presaging, and pummeling
worse fate than death
rivaling close encounters of the third kind
outer limits of the twilight zone
monstrous sinister forbidding shapes
blotting sunlight plunging
highland manor apartment in total darkness.

Our rented one bedroom unit
b44 spruced up in ship shape,
thus me and the wife
cautiously optimistic figurative campers
worse case scenario
possibly find us forced to live in a tent
among bunch of other homeless people
along skidrow,
thus we felt fruitless effort to yield,
and appeal to top banana
who would love nothing better
than to witness mister and missus Harris
precariously perched on horns of dilemma

spurred me to posit supposition,
whereby sympathy for the devil witnesses
battle of pitched forks among towering inferno
greater likelihood versus wordsmith
unsuccessfully, nevertheless creatively
blindsiding anonymous readers
spellbound to empty ***** nilly
bajillions of dollars
from their pocketbooks
and mail blank checks to yours truly
before coming to their collective
sense and sensibility bound with
pride and prejudice.

a house without gossips nor gonifs with the missus

Maybe a pair of stray eyes
will alight on my post
might subsequently manifest destiny
as a positive force
to help me secure
a moderately roomy dwelling place
whereby we hang figurative hats
(the writer of these words,
and his partner in rhyme - ha),
would feel ever so grateful
carriage house, domicile,
pied-à-terre, et cetera

to till and sow the land,
(a manageable sized garden patch)
harvesting the fruits and vegetables
blanching, canning, pickling,
preserving, et cetera
experiencing collective soulful
labor of love
witnessing a bumper crop
(of so called weeds - ha again)
sharing with family and friends
that which gets produced
videre licet sweat of our brow.

After moving out
from 324 Level Road
(after overstaying welcome, -
and wearing out welcome mat
which parents of mine made
quite evidently clear
as their second born and singular son
struggled acquiring
and maintaining gainful employment
as well as hopscotching
from one college/university o another
plus qualifying to get enrolled
into various and sundry
county training programs.

After the then girlfriend (eventual wife)
blithely forewent using birth control,
no surprise when she
discovered herself with child,
which expedited shotgun wedding
and necessitated us
to seek out accommodations,
which we luckily
found in Hatfield, Pennsylvania
only to quickly discover
the presence of water bugs
that did congregate underneath the sink.

Though yours truly rented
that first said apartment
than when lease did NOT get renewed,
a few other different units
within southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
throughout livingsocial
on this oblate spheroid
threescore and five orbitz
around the sun,

nevertheless a homing instinct
wired into these lovely bones, who recalls
with fond memories the residence,
where this sexagenarian spent
his growing up years
(long since razed
and replaced with vinyl city -
cookie cutter place of residence courtesy
Gambone brother building contractors.

An electronic SOS broadcast
on a wing and a prayer
if for no other reason
than to offer a doodling yankee
the pleasure to craft
a wish upon a star poem
but stark realization
raises an ugly head
reminding self proclaimed
(Shakespearean scribe - ha a third time)

hemmed in courtesy
severely pinched financial circumstances
in tandem whereby sole income,
and affordability to move into
other than low rural development
low-income housing facility and most likely
(bereft of life insurance)
unwittingly saddled
with fees associated with cremation,
the least costly to wallet and environment.

as one fairly long run on sentence
unwittingly made locally famous
courtesy residents here at
Highland Manor Apartments
as first one foot and then the other
painstakingly, and agonizingly dragged
across the cement walkway
making absolutely sure
the entire foot touches the ground,
(analogous to geriatric

version of the hokey pokey)
made like toe tilly particularly
more trip lee dangerous for valley girls,
and posing an obvious challenge,
when unspecified oblivious tenant
yakking away to themselves
unknowingly shakily shambles,
(which elderly folk blindly
risking life and limb),
while tethered to an oxygen tank

gingerly, precariously, and zanily
maneuvers a walker or wheelchair
while chatting vis a vis bluetooth;
(a short-range
wireless technology standard
used for exchanging data
between fixed and mobile devices
over short distances and building
personal area networks:
In the most widely used mode,

transmission power
limited to 2.5 milliwatts,
giving it a very short range
of up to 10 metres)
communication maintained thru
miniature electronic paraphernalia
videlicet, now returning
to aforementioned abandoned,
harried, and suspended lodger
left poised to strike hard surface,

when going about their routine task
additionally rendered cumbersome
as occupant carefully finagles
old gnarled bent fingers
to manipulate requisite fob,
(a handy dandy little device
that works on Radio Frequency Identification
(RFID) triggered courtesy
waving or tapping motion
of little plastic doodad)

near a corresponding reader,
and voilá – the door unlocks, -
which technology interestingly enough
linkedin to bit of curious history,
when remote keyless entry patented
in 1981 by Paul Lipschultz,
who worked for Neimans,
(a supplier of security components
to the car industry) and developed
a number of

automotive security devices:
His electrically actuated lock system
could be controlled
by using a handheld fob
to stream infrared data
automatically, electronically,
inevitably, and officially
granting permission for our inhabitant,
or unsuspecting intruder
(since very little – read none

security installed here)
to enter the front door,
presenting an unwelcoming
opportunistic, idealistic,
and antagonistic accident
about to happen if the track opening
and closing entryway portal
(bumped up against thin carpeting)
slightly bunched up
presents a raised lipped surface edge

(barely perceptible to those
who present a sight for sore eyes),
which uneven impediment
the literal downfall
for many a resident
at Highland Manor Apartment,
who tripped and fell ofttimes
sustaining significant injuries
to their fragile lovely bones.

Strong and brave men and women
gave their level best
crème de la crème
strongest and bravest
leaving grieving significant others
with emotional agony
within treasured chest
o'er the redoubt  
the enemy did crest,
where lovely bones
of forebears for everest

battling hostility over
well fought over *** strew turf
among warring factions finessed
in manicured cemeteries
(sacred burial grounds) ye guessed
dead bodies strewn across killing fields
forsook their lives eternal peace they rest
honored and revered succumbed mortal
electric kool-aid acid test
though I question if sacrificed life
worth a spit of land to wrest.

Now pardon ma faux pas
indicative of generic geek
a reasonable rhyme rhyme,
from dis po' pa try'n to be sleek
original poem crafted years gone by
necessitated minor tweak
where sense and sensibility weak.

Officially called Decoration Day
proclaimed on 5 May 1868
by General John Logan
first observed on 30 May 1868
Waterloo N.Y. officially
declared the birthplace
by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966.

Though eight score minus one year  
(minor emendation regarding time frame
since original date I crafted poem)
Appomattox, a psychological balm
helped stitch frayed nation to calm
until hell on earth
killed, obliterated, and rained ******,
(a portmanteau of two
of the constituents
of the original thickening
and gelling agents:
coprecipitated aluminium salts
of naphthenic acid
and palmitic acid)
served as silent psalm
since bombardment at Fort Sumter qualm
including intervening wars
such as raging battles on the Somme
and the war between
Northern and Southern Vietnam.

National holiday most adept
at uniting Civil War fallen soldiers
when fiercely armed as brother in arms crept
against opposing forces, which took
by surprise “enemies” or found inept
ill prepared troops with surprise mortal
blow which ambushed attackers leapt
mowing down valiant soldiers, thus
becoming slain grooms who eternally slept
sorrowful lamentable hymns from
widowed brides tears wept.

Cease fire that day
terminating internecine flay
o’er mounds of earth whence
bones o boys donned blue or gray
a day of remembrance for those
who died in our nation's service lay

celebrated this last Monday every May
one must know tis not about division
boot about reconciliation
and sacrifice brave heroes did pay,
the price of their lives for granted
freedoms enjoyed as american lee-way.

Forsooth, now we cherish too, the Poppy red
that grows on fields where valor led,
it seems to signal to the skies
that blood of heroes never dies
acknowledged courtesy bunting
(strings of colorful, monochrome,
beige triangular flags and lengths
of fabric in the colors of national flags
gathered and draped into swags
or pleated into fan shapes)
visibly draped and/or hung
honoring the dead.

(route 76) both heading into
(and a small number of hours later
exiting) center city Philadelphia
to Schwenksville on May 19th, 2024.

Yours truly (a doodling Yankee), and the missus
went to town, NOT riding on a pony,
NOR did I stick a feather in my cap,
but we walked at a brisk pace
unwittingly set by our eldest daughter
from her three bed apartment
at 405 south 22nd street
to a museum housing
an awesome breathtaking eye opening place
called The Magic Garden
located at 1020 South Street,
Philadelphia, PA 19147.

Herewith follows a blurb
copied/pasted courtesy Google in general
and Wikipedia in particular.

Philadelphia's Magic Gardens is a non-profit organization, folk art environment, and gallery space on South Street in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. To date, it is the largest work created by mosaic artist Isaiah Zagar. The Magic Gardens spans three city lots, and includes indoor galleries and a large outdoor labyrinth.

Initially, we (thyself, the spouse,
and averred twenty seven year old heiress
to the Harris misfortune).
intended to ride SEPTA,
but the bus driver quickly pulled away.

So trio comprised of the Mister and Missus
and their city smart grown daughter,
who earned the appellation "star student"
for her superb academic performance
(quite evident even when
she started kindergarten)
and voluntarily enrolled
in advanced placement
after she got promoted to sophomore year
at Harriton High School.

After our energetic hustling
only a short distance
(courtesy "rubber express"
id est sneakers), the papa bear (me)
he experienced relentless dehydration,
and struggled with impossible mission
to generate saliva, hence dry mouth
afflicted hokey pokey man,
who brought up the rear.

Upon determinedly trekking without complaint
circumstances found urgency forcibly tapping
into immediately realized heretofore unknown
potential emergency reserve
whereat solar plexus witnessed hyper boost
setting body electric of mine in overdrive
increasing heavy huffing and puffing
ever so glad to complete
rightly striding twelve plus city blocks,
whereat pace of mine got perceptibly slower
as the end point got nearer,
and what an amazing sight to behold!

The sprawling conglomeration
held together analogous to fortification
against invasion of architectural conformity
haphazard juxtaposed linkedin naturally
poetic/prosaic rhapsodic traditional
vaulted xenotime zaniness.

Isaiah Zagar, the brainchild
American mosaic artist
based in Philadelphia
notable for his murals, primarily
in or around Philadelphia's South Street.

After three years in Peru, the Zagars moved to South Philadelphia in 1968 where they opened the Eyes Gallery, a folk art shop on South Street. In December 1968, the Eyes Gallery was the site of Zagar's first mosaic; Zagar mosaiced it as a way to create a folk art environment for the art they were selling.

After perusing the sacred structures in relative silence
thru these myopic eyes of a skeptic
echoing blood, sweat and tears of said artist,
which perambulation evinced the Great Tribulation
in Christian eschatology a period
mentioned by Jesus in the Olivet Discourse
as a sign that would occur in the time of the end.

At Revelation 7:14, "the Great Tribulation"
is used to indicate the period spoken of by Jesus.

No blatant religious symbology,
yet the invisible hand of divine spirit
gently, minutely, and subtly
ordained, intruded, experienced,
and anointed yours truly
challenging, condemning,
and curbing profane thoughts
subsequently inviting rumination
linkedin with inspiration to witness
my own slice of palatable spiritual awakening,
which served me in good (home) stead,
a sexagenarian awash with discombobulation
when amidst the beauty
of inexplicable fabulous creation,
clashing with personal paganistic paradigm.

Belief in guardian angels
became pronounced when entrusting
orienting myself behind the wheel
of our 2020 Hyundai Elantra
accessing the (oxymoronic named)
high speed thoroughfare
iterated in initial lines of this poem,
cuz bumper to bumper traffic
on that late Sunday afternoon
found atheistic dogmatism
severely put thru the paces,

particularly when resigning
being sorely tested to drive
after twilight (cataracts exacerbate glare),
hence hitching a wish to return
to Schwenksville
without getting into a serious accident or worse,
which impromptu wing and a prayer
spurred whim to exit at Lincoln Drive,
following hairpin twists and turns,
which anxiety precipitated
increasing need to urinate.

No don (except me)
doth trumpet within the aborted
barren reach of freedoms within expansive realm,
I annexed courtesy manifest destiny,
which peoples now inhabiting said jurisdiction
circumscribed by following coordinates -
Latitude: 40° 16' 22.20" N
Longitude: -75° 29' 29.39" W
and for better or worse

must abide by decrees
promulgation declared today May 21st, 2024,
whence Poet of Perkiomen Valley
issues proclamation,
regarding any living person
paying blind obedience
lest posse comitatus act enforced
otherwise Herr Harris
will bring to fore active duty personnel

to "execute the laws";
however, there be disagreement
over whether this language
may apply to troops used
in an advisory, support, disaster response,
or other homeland defense role,
as opposed to domestic law enforcement
to challenge aforesaid claims
which forthwith ownership of said territory

foremost allows, enables and provides
yours truly to enact legislation,
and especially restitution of comstock act
predicated upon due diligence
guaranteeing appropriation
of all and every rights affecting
master and slave
linkedin with said domain.

Welcome to the dictatorship
(er rather presidency)
of Putin diehard adherent.

Matter of fact, a favorite author of mine
crafted the following words of inspiration,
which evocation will help shed figurative light
on caricatures of terror reign as forty fifth president
targeted by political cartoonists,
but struggled to come up with an image that sticks.

In october 2016, Vanity Fair
made a video of four of its cartoonists—
Edward Sorel, Steve Brodner,
Philip Burke, and Robert Risko—
drawing Donald Trump.

They clearly enjoyed themselves,
exploring every aspect of his physique:
 his “girth,” the fact that
“there’s so much of him” (Burke);
the hair that “essentially closely a beret
flipped forward on his head” (Risko);
the eyes that show “greed, disdain” (Burke);
the “marvelously rat like” nose (Brodner);
the mouth a “sphincter muscle” (Risko);
the “******” look (Sorel);
the ****** features that resemble
“**** holes in the snow” (Brodner).

And now? How have artists and cartoonists
dealt with Trump since he became president?
We’ve seen cartoons of the orange
potus smooching Vladimir Putin
and groping the Statue of Liberty.
We’ve seen him drawn (by Barry Blitt
in The New Yorker) as a fat-assed golfer
driving ***** into the White House.
We’ve seen him caricatured (by Pat Oliphant

for The Nib) as a preening SS officer
being heiled by Steve Bannon.
We’ve seen him portrayed
(by Signe Wilkinson of the Philadelphia
Daily News) linking arms
with a Confederate and a ****.
We’ve seen him depicted
(by Mike Luckovich
of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

as Jabba the Hutt, holding Lady Liberty in chains.
We’ve seen him represented (by Matt Wuerker
in Politico) as a kook in a straitjacket.
We’ve seen him rendered
(by Ann Telnaes of The Washington Post)
as a red-faced fathead sitting
on the toilet while he plots
to pull out of the Paris climate accord.

Putin (also fell prey
to his fair share of cartoonists)
not only as Vlad the Impaler reincarnate
(a notion in mind of at least one writer),
but also various and sundry other manifestations.

The self styled ruthless ****
classified as a voivode
(prince) of Wallachia
(part of modern Romania).

Surrounded by enemies
that included the Hungarians,
the Ottomans, his younger brother,
and Walachian nobility,
Vlad employed extremely
cruel gruesome measures
to inspire fear in those
who opposed him.

He earned his nickname
by impaling his enemies on stakes.

No argument Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
equals and invariably
will outrank Vlad the Impaler
the second son of Vlad Dracul
who became ruler of Wallachia in 1436.

Impossible mission to comprehend
propensity exhibiting characteristics
linkedin as impish, hellish, ghoulish... fiend
whereby pathological pretensions
besotted (punch drunk with delight)
to incinerate, eradicate, annihilate,
essentially to deplorably,
heinously, loathingly... interblend
all manner of atrocious, deleterious,
insidious, opprobrious, vicious... lend
ding his own vainglorious
trademark to offend
**** sapiens who strive toward
repairing ruptures versus to rend
usurpation of life, liberty
and continuity of civilization to upend.

Worst nightmare scenario
unfolding before our collective eyes
Ukraine suffers blitzkrieg
Russian soldiers devastatingly
carpet bomb major metropolitan areas
civilian population suffers
major loss of innocent lives
linkedin with accompanied
psychological fallout, especially affecting
babies, children and youth.

All commands issued by autocratic monster
probably housed within secure bunker,
meanwhile countless thousands
or millions of battle fatigued people hunker
among ruins gingerly negotiating
their way thru rubble analogous to spelunker.

Though yours truly removed (think physically),
where chaos and pandemonium
run amuck and terror unruly,
overt rampant upheaval plagues
long established generations of Slavic peoples,
this commonplace American
experiences vicarious grief,
when tragedy viewed online
and/or television heart wrenching images
also evoke anger being
linkedin to most abominable, horrible,
reprehensible, creatures
that roamed the terrestrial firm
since time immemorial.

Major war crimes against humanity
necessitate urgent punishment,
if in fact such a global entity exists
to condemn and convict the incontestable tyrant,
yet never in the annals of twenty first century
geopolitical webbed zeitgeist
did self anointed sovereign
access nuclear weapons
to obliterate fellow Earthlings.

Entrapment videre licet fiendish
gnarly hustling scheme erector -
sent me to the poor house, where alms
not forthcoming to ease financial affliction,
where yours truly money matters still stymies
ways and means to relocate
to a two bedroom apartment
courtesy low income housing.

Eleven months ago to date,
I fell prey to the wiles of a scam artist,
who initially managed
to hack way into the Macbook Pro
rendering same computer I use now
such that impossible mission
to allow, enable, and provide
any process to be completed.

A gofundme page
once again set up courtesy yours truly,
which honest to goodness attempt
to bolster substantial forsaken funds
(essentially thieving joint
nest egg of mine and the missus)
deftly hawked pack of lies

blindsiding me to surrender
hook, line and sinker
practically snagged and bled out
these lovely bones mine every red cent
squirreled away as a quite paltry
monetary security net.

The spectre and haunting existence
of Harvey Specter
(the alias cyber spatial highway robber)
still riddles the psyche of this joker,
who continues to chide himself,
particularly when realizing
combined lost assets
lock, stock, and barrel meant that though
poor as a Unitarian church mouse,
I can not provide succor

(in the form of American currency)
which penury disallows us
to dole out for our second born
and youngest daughter,
(who at age twenty five
shares an accommodation
in Bend, Oregon -
with another twenty something gal
a bajillion miles
from dear her ole papa and mama -
located in southeastern Pennsylvania)
paternal nor maternal capital to ease
her own woebegone challenged situation.

Said unnamed progeny, and her oldest sister
(by about twenty six months difference)
feel shortchanged by parents,
whose bereft checking and savings accounts,
plus truckload of
mental health issues contributed
to a dysfunctional heartache

living poisoned ten year decade of misery.
I admit unintentional grief
heaped upon the souls of deux innocent lives
which two offspring begat
courtesy a virile birth father and fecund mother,
whose joint home economic pennilessness
(even prior to letting the pang of procreation
run to sow wild oats)
set at least one figurative strike against us
when embarking to journey
(as a super tramping foreigner)
upon the family way.

Utopia for wretched wordsmith
would constitute enough disposable income
to relocate within a place like Lake Wobegon
"Where the women are strong,
the men are good looking,
and all the children are above average."

Its city motto is "Sumus Quod Sumus"
("We are what we are").

photographs rarely doth me justice boot at least some idea will be available if aye seem appealing enough to kiss. boy george, i will try to maintain a thorough lee good convivial over tone so police pardon moi, who calls out justin timberlake time this hermit tick lee sealed hominid dwelling metallica regular rolling stone sans placid yet poison end herman hermits stung by the scorpion human league this abba ca dabra purported - vee lad putative culture club virtual puddle of mudd digital glop, nor conclude me crud cuz, this olda boy - by george wants 2b yo steve a door miller bud jist hole dejure sly and the family stone horses that wanna prance n let there be dragons, seals and crofts me fair lady gaga cuz u auto let my *** pistol gofundme 2 see eddie money far hay, how duh name of dis swiftly tailored tar nation did ya got a hold - don't be afraid e cat nor slink away like a def leppard, fur mebbe i wrote cha from this utter alias name from zee station here or maybe at my previous abode while sipping tea? enjoy a glass of vintage wine don't let the rush o time induce necessity to reciprocate with one or more lines for your aura, charisma, enigma variations align to evoke an alluring, captivating, enervating charm of a gal, whose electronic presence felt as like an animal farm-ville replete with picture perfect barn, and chicken coop where foxes befriend each hendricks without harm dis here buoy i.e. stanley steamer doth newt goot any piercings and no tat twos any where, boot not bothered by a gal covered froom head to foot, or...one with my name i.e. matthew scott harris 'tho no emerald, ruby sapphire, nor flash gordon in the pan could ever sway me away from living a short span that would allow, enable and offer at least a millennium where we can take a spin in my car a van actually, this bloke drives a 2020 hyundai elantra, which revving engine silenced guns and roses without inducing your stomach 2 turn and skin appear to turn green, when most would agree this mutt spouts a meaningless pro verb whose poe it tree haint superb with no intent to perturb butta sprinkle your monitor with some savory her band...also ye need not worry this schlemiel ***** trained habit upon georgian bush doth politely curb. witness this somewhat inn o 50 cent pennywise thrift, nickelback, dime a dozen face no bias, boot moi christened name, would be matched by equipoise ****, and amazing grace becoming a worthy friend within the milieu of virtual place who could disguise herself as being an alien from the human race perhaps our egress living **** seems light years away in an acme safeway, wholefoods, et cetera and secure distant virtual or real space so if intrigued to learn more send bits o digital feedback in binary code or across the heavens some skywriting message these eyes (e'en though tired like twin led zeppelins) will trace. i wish (as u2 might also desire as belonging to the human league) to feel that palpable poison us scorpion stinging pearl jam metallica making egress viz in living color deep purple reigning village people. this beatle browed (harkens to the black crows of Nazareth) that sound akin 2 rushing train of pleasure that courses thru an entire being (during black sabbath) on account of welcoming frequency to explore journey toward nirvana sans writing as the mental foreplay toward...inxs letting this red hot chile peppered beastie boy playing with one bare naked lady. even if something real and tangible a possibility, you could be disinclined to step up to a closer degree of intimacy, perhaps based on seriously involvement with a significant other since progressing thru the creed dent shul of many emotional/ spiritual trials and tribulations. no need from me to resort with insistence (vis a vis induce any hype or pressure, yet once in a lifetime golden finger red opportunity) to experience one direction of joey vivre enjoyment of me as feigned bad company. police - kanye kim e sump tin faw free swiftly tailored made oh kay tee perry up so i can go gaga over ma dear lady.lettuce both induce glee juiced send n email 2 me 3 doors down with inxs of pearl jam shutters no beginning nor plea cuz ah already rote in ma dire straits pledged yar troth can, yippee contrived virtual toy story qua ratatouille poetic brew could materialize in2a likely chance such an idea prods me 2 shrek out with excitement & dance just in case a glimmer of prospect in the park exists. this self anointed bard dislikes formality, hence i present good humor skills, which hopes to enhance this chap who offers poetic expression uncommon in france. he sets sights on sand fran sis go. take a glance 2 help dis intuitive **** sapiens sharpen mental acuity like a lance bite size bit torrent word play might cause ye 2 soil pants interpreting hodgepodge as rave & rants. even platonic rapport would buoy positive stance intent worth b friend ding, 2 sway au currant series electronic charge affect hypnotic trance 4 consideration 2 advance. I betcha never red an intro duck tory reply like this quacker. i'm an ink blot from bic pentameter typed o'er electric wires boyish looking blood muggle father up in years, (whose nonpareil courage 2 face Voldemort, which exploit does tire), and 2 luv lee young adult girls want him 2 sing miles away from the choir 2 prevent game raw bits of yar self 2 acquire frum a boyish chap dreaming excitedly 4 grandiose ******* interludes joyful kindle bound by pages o love, who lives within perkiomen valley, penna, but, yukon only text. postscript nose one: would you care2 become my bride no joe king nor do i chide please take me away alive or freeze dried or sere this buck hits hide, which lil maximus m butted pill grims pride moon thuntz later whipped mir cull o joy n pure writ tin pride. postscript nose two: i noah nuttin bout witches r warlocks boot feel spellbound with magic dat mockshard science and knocks said solid ******* principles that hocks some basis in astrology n such early learning blocks of humanity - now swept away like chicken pox virus, yet those un-named discoverers of matter allow artificial satellites capable to establish docks far removed from gravitational force when (keep this on the qt), those spacecraft lobbed into cosmos base sic lee from a potion of balled up soiled red socks void where prohibited by sign language or pop yule lye vox. unlike my personality to come across like some forceful chap ling go ring, ******* buster keaton being ****** will buoy us alight if we take to some invisible primal grunting wing from - this average male member egret, who rem members when we first met and consider thee a queen for this rolling stone, who emails (then abduct) me via the net adieu. Bye. chow now, this mwm will await pleasure like when ye text me - if willing, ready, eager and able create r hard woo n intimate ace cee dee cee zip pity doo dsh fable enjoying your cuntry villa mossy two lipped gable ****** sans the medical terminology whispered to thee when voiced per phone where airwaves crackle, snap n pop like mayhem of cars or babble heard at tower of babel via telephonic cable or rsvp tap text message to me a dope gang pull chose er this label the offspring of one great great great...grandmother named Mable who adorned herself in horsehair woven from her thoroughbreds kept in a golden arched stable housing a large equus shaped table.

etymology encurtains, encompasses,
and encapsulates healthy fixation
why I can spend countless hours
engrossed with printed material
courtesy select magazines or books,
plus aiming to craft satisfactory
poems or prose as an avocation
to share with anonymous
well seasoned cyber surfers,
and perhaps - wishful thinking of mine
being celebrated, lauded,
touted, et cetera posthumously
as a storied author, one of the greats
of the twenty first century - ha.

As a recipient of social security disability
for scads of years -
maybe half live of mein kampf,
(courtesy a diagnosis
of schizoid personality disorder,
though Renee Cardone, a former
long time therapist linkedin with
SpringFord Counseling attested
that social anxiety,
a more accurate explanation)
regarding mental health affliction of yours truly
evident within eminent domain
of these lovely bones
since late mother brought forth
scrawny baby post parturition
January thirteenth mcmlix.

When sitting facing the external
modest size external screen
synchronized to reflect
what these fingers type on the MacBook Pro
(Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015) laptop
(like now - at approximately
nineteen hundred hours May eighteenth
two thousand and twenty four),
a profusion, infusion, and confusion
of ideas burst forth
once a title identified
for particular writing sample.

Dearth of travel experiences
severely limits potential
excellent material to access,
hence outlook grim actually nonexistent
to tell terrific tall true globe trotting tales
spanning across webbed wide world,
thus cerebral activity limited associated
with imagined people, places,
and things (some stranger than fiction - ha).

The milieu of the Internet a dogsend
to help expedite gestating, mutating,
and rotating brilliant ideas
within the mind of me,
a modest mild mannered male,
who cannot help but wince
with dismay how father time,
albeit surreptitiously unbidden sneaks
and steals away precious
days, weeks, months, et cetera,

whereby a formerly scared, nevertheless,
happy go lucky and charming little lad
particularly when ensconced
safely and soundly
within his boyhood bedroom
far away from the madding crowd
and the deafening sound of silence trumpeting,
signalling, rocketing mortal man at lightspeed
impossible mission to thwart how tempus fugit
doth captcha forsaken sweet dreams
swept away forever.

At long last, when head merges with pillow
deep sleep offers temporary escape into zee land,
and reprieve from unwanted mailer daemons
potent images actually manifested selves
of mine subconscious sphere
breathing, blinking, and begetting life
videre licet into transient transparent people
each rapid eye movement cycle
gifting illusory persona grata super powers
generated within a flash dancing icon.

Bully me, yours truly
never ordained, gifted, or blessed
with mien mean characteristic
evoking, jump/kickstarting,
representing, nor zapping
friend or foe courtesy fiery intimidation
if anything aura, charisma, dogma, and karma
emanating, issuing, and oozing out
body electric of one heretofore bookish fellow
immediately facilitates characterization
hashtagged lucubration and manifestation of quietude.

Though true agitation transparent to passersby
soul asylum of sexagenarian beleaguered
with invisible mailer daemons
that hound the psyche
of this doggone muttering bonafide wordsmith.

In argot of polymath author of these words,
(the modestly noteworthy
opportunistic, poetic Matthew Scott Harris)
essentially he describes himself
as a generic simple Simon,
who never met a pieman
his mellow outward demeanor
belies, harbors, and represses
a quaking, raging bull, and seething
tempestuous storm beneath the calm,
which faux placidity
shields a woke monster
(donned in Harris tweed and Scottish tartan)
mashing everything in his wake
courtesy huge feet
resembling puff daddy bear paws.

Though found out later in life
than most muggles
aforementioned humble
human like bipedal hominid
discovered extraordinary ability
to morph from dimwitted dork dweeb
into grim faced, frightful,
albeit gentle unassuming
pygmy up by the petard giant extraordinaire,
which latent superpower
never served him in good stead
to ward off cruel classmates and peers
tormenting teasing taxing
terrorizing treatment til tears
trickled down my cheeks.

Every now and again,
when some nasty brutish beastly lout
dares to utter colorful invectives,
a gradual transformation
slowly but surely occurs
within every baited cell
(automatically summoned, triggered,
and unveiled courtesy a bitterly
deadly force to be reckoned with
deep within these lovely bones)  
witnessing sudden bravado and daring do
additionally helped along after I discretely
chomp on powder milk biscuits
(the secret recipe only known
to forbidding Norwegian bachelor farmers)
giving an unexpected
judicious Hawaiian punch
to the loathsome miscreant
(never knowing what hit him)
knocking said **** out in cold blood.

crafted when Wallace and Gromit
returned from their trip to the moon,
which I can prov-olone huck curd
(within Trump con feta ration) –
as cheesy poem crafted whey back
when the following Gouda eye idea
occurred while milking the cows.

Yea of course writing ideas unstoppably
burst asunder at the most inconvenient
opportunities such as driving Miss Daisy,
taking a shower, or using the bathroom.
Accursed ambition becoming a prolific
wordsmith (case in point Stephen King)
Woolworth riding, oddly lumbering
lackadaisical shoehorning out this
being from a self made gully. The jury
yet to decree if attempting to extricate

muss elf from tangled web of decades
old setbacks via literary output successful.
Every morning, noon and night, this chap
blunders, flounders, (like a phish out of water),
yet plod his shipshape reclusive quiet-natured
person along the boulevard of broken dreams.
Oft times, huff hind aye muss elf entering The
Dead Zone (bordering a Pet Sematary). Earlier,
a previous saunter found me surmounting
The Green Mile. Attendant in regard to these

Bag Of Bones, and Desperation to acquire
telephone contact with Cell phone quickens
pace despite Insomnia. No matter unexpected
Sleeping Beauties warrant kisses, my determination,
motivation, and slight trepidation occasionally breeds
(The Dark Half), doomsday facet deftly jackknifing lust.
Occasionally, a feeble goading simply under minds
any corporeal aim to restore endeavor to experience
Joyland. IT (creative juices within) spur meeting Rose
Red and her restorative powers. Onward atheistic

soldier goes this chap. No matter tipping point (vis
a vis hungry fatigued body clamors for Needful Things.
Revival (for food and sleep) frequently appears grim.
Downcast state of body, mind and spirit reinforced
by mirage. The Dark Tower looms ahead! Adjacent
to ominous evil looking structure silhouette casted
of a Black House. The initial ambition to ward off
abysmal results summon forth creative literary juices.
Simultaneously a migraine headache pounding pitted
courtesy spluttering, nauseating, and foaming LIX spittle.
They hammer horrifically, ferociously, and diabolically.

Shades of shad rock Under The Dome. Ma noggin
Aches like The Tommyknockers! Every attempt to locate
a royal crowning coeval counterpart jinxed with laborious
ill luck. Hell in a handbasket plight usually generates
nostalgia for destiny to Carrie be back to Old Virginny.
Sage advice from Christine, Delores Claiborne, or The
Colorado Kid, yours truly blithely heeded. As a result
(The Outsider within this paperback writer wannabe)
sports defeat written all over face. Concomitant figurative
futility gussies and kickstarts leaving invisible pockmarks.

Ordinary Dreamcatcher fate invariably finds aptly named
Writer Errs Block. Need to back track arises (figuratively)
along vista. The roads have no name. They command
stubborn respect. Near impossible mission manifested
To transcend mental hindrance. This more difficult than
playing Gerald's Game. Hence sigh embrace The Shining
opportunity to avoid Misery. Doctor Sleep would undoubtedly
encourage braving, challenging self confronting The Eyes
Of The Dragon. Such a risky pursuit could force facing pitbull
Cujo. No matter gamble foisted prospect fraught frightfully

being burned at the stake by a Firestarter. Voluntary action
brings small hairs to tingle. Hunchback, sans severely curved
spine straightens. This (The Stand) ding pose offered supreme
vision as promised by The Talisman. Tidbits by me alias
Mr. Mercedes carefully just in case The Girl Who Loved
Tom Gordon chanced to stumble upon this redoubt versus
her hours spent staring at a blinking cursor. Metaphorical
po' wet tick feet took me where they would into the Shining
and happy place called Willoughby located within the outer
limits of the twilight zone.

Self immolation as sacrificial bleating lamb
promises eternal martyrdom
awaiting voluntary die hard protester,
where countless vestal virgins provide blissfulness
(think ******* mansion on steroids)
synonymous with delightful
grand view garden of Eden
transmuting mortal flesh
(clothed in lovely bones)
into burnt offering
mummifying and searing
once robust sacred heart
courtesy hungry, and angry forked flames.

Escape said hell on Earth I must,
which hopefully convincingly
explains the above nightmarish scenario
awaking me from an otherwise pleasant siesta.

Livingsocial here at Highland Manor
sparks the matchless following hyperbole,
whereby overactive imagination
fosters grim statistics of suicide in general,
and setting her/himself afire in particular,
yes no matter the truism, we
(yours truly and the missus)
can attest to a roof
(recently reshingled) over our head.

If only the (laugh-in) fickle finger of fate
would bless with doggone sudden wealth,
or bestow beneficent altruistic philanthropist
to bolster my very anemic
checking and savings accounts
which still smarts nearly eleven months
after weathering a blitzkrieg assault
iterated umpteen times
within previous poems,

and even posted a gofundme page,
whose soothing telephone voice
calm, cool and collected (sotto voce) belied
blood thirsty Machiavellian
scheming compute hacker and fraudster,
who called himself Harvey Specter;
One scheming scammer,
who made out like a bandit
 after he fleeced one naive sexagenarian.

No matter psychological services
found the author of these words vilifying
above named malevolent online marauder
who initially (convincingly) weaseled his way
thru the milieu of cyberspace
zapping this Apple Macbook Pro laptop,
claiming to be holier than thou
by disabling access to the Internet,
I fell prey to his charade,
binary enfilade, and façade
entranced and mesmerized,
subsequently feeling wretched
after carrying out the bidding
by unforgettable referenced clip artist,
which incident of being bilked
reported to the local police,
whose promptitude responding
offered small consolation.

Little forgiveness yielded toward
a punning wordsmith,
still seething, fuming, livid with rage
and mad as a hatter at himself
for following hook, line and sinker,
an older fella ordinarily tentative and cautious
when commingling with persons unknown.

When a boy,
I wanted to be as tall as my father
(he passed away October seventh
two thousand and twenty
linkedin to congestive heart failure),
who stood at his prime
about six feet and two inches
and tipped the scales
close to two hundred pounds.

Teachers and other familiar adults
chimed in that though diminutive
(yours truly, he unwittingly offered himself
as the ideal scapegoat
courtesy being longitudinally challenged,
weighing no more than an ostrich feather,
and hashtagged as "the quietest student,"
a flower child of the ninety sixties
always kept mum every single day of school),
would unexpectedly experience
peak height velocity.

Neither at ages eighteen, nineteen, twenty...
sixty three, sixty four and sixty five
bore witness to any added inches,
which topped out
around my sixteenth birthday
approximately seventy inches tall
and attendant weight a scrawny
one hundred and
twenty five pounds or thereabouts.

Actually since graduating
from Methacton High School
two score and seven years ago,
my weight ballooned
an avoirdupois unit of weight
divided into 16 ounces,
and equal to 0.453 592 kilograms
approximately forty plus times
such said constituent parts
first thing in the morning
after eliminating evacuating
re:excreting ****** waste.

A preponderance of adipose tissue
long since upended my once upon a time
twenty nine inch waist.

Slab of flab protrudes from ab - feel free to grab!

What follows initially written
quite some years ago
when being skinny as a rail meant
no meat on these lovely bones,
thus hired myself out as scared crow,
now excess adipose tissue thy foe
losing battle partially explaining
why knight spends inordinate
amount of time in his grotto.

Twas an incremental
subtle expansion of waist
plus olympic challenge to tie shoes
most likely side effects of one
or all nine prescription medications
to stave off severe melancholy,
social anxiety, panic attack, et cetera
when yours truly merely
prepubescent self starvation courtesy
emaciated Anorexic skeletal ribcage

traced (about two score
and a baker's dozen years ago),
now whereby most everything
thy tongue doth taste
immediately delivered
a randy (new man) paunch
to former washboard six pack
smooth as a fresh application
of gesso like paste
readying fleshy canvass

for partially ****
self-portrait masterpiece
(adjacent to barenaked lady)
lived three doors down
depicting mine once perfectly,
(albeit one scrawny lad)
proportioned body electric laced
with flat as a washboard physique
unlike present disk graced
whereat when sending a photograph

of shirtless self-try with futility
utilizing photoshop to get erased
displeasing equatorial zone of anatomy
saddled with unwanted
fatty tissue that defaced
proportionate rock hard stomach
one generic measly slender adult man
about five foot and ten-inch build
evincing an aura of being chaste
gone forever analogous to temptation

gobbling house constructed
of cake and confectionery,
that nearly did likewise
to Hansel and Gretel
readying their not quite
plump enough bodies
tubby slathered with baste,
yet just in the nick of time
the two abandoned minors
actually removed courtesy

children, youth and
family services (CYS)
under care of adoption in sync
with ***** work
aced the sinister plot outwitting
cannibalistic cackling
croaking old woman
inducing all to break out into song -
singing the following tune
I learned in grade school.

Loose air into pipes and croon
solo loud enough audible to man in the moon.

Sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda rat tat tat
Sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda rat tat tat
A doray-oh, A doray-boomday-oh
A doray-boomday ret set set
Ah say pah say oh.

With a title deeply rooted
in subject matter iterated above
invariably makes for hair raising poem,
though I immediately attest said material
constitutes atypical topic
the writing process (with intent
to share bizarre pet peeve)
mildly cathartic to ameliorate
long established body dysmorphia,
(which lifelong aversion

about how body electric
of mine - a corporeal entity housing
an aging baby boomer wordsmith),
steeped with lifetime worth
of disproportionate outsize importance
linkedin to those fibrous
harried styled brunette strands
sustained courtesy by tiny blood vessels
at the base of every follicle
buzzfeeding the hair root to keep it growing.

But once the hairs
becomes visible
(not just on my chinny chin chin),
but more so at the skin's surface,
the cells within the strand of hair
aren't alive anymore.

The hair you see on every part
of your body contains dead cells.

Nevertheless empirical evidence
witnessed bajillion dollar industries,
where many an entrepreneur
made a bundle of money
buttressing caparisoning oneself
aspiring to attain exemplification
towards how western civilization
(and subsequently webbed wide world)
defines contrived beautify.

Yours truly (particularly during
his emotionally tumultuous adolescence)
for all intents and purposes
most all each of his
life long journey into night,
he considered himself afflicted
with obsessive compulsive behavior in general,
and incongruous objection
with arbitrary template
of attraction (as applies
to the male species) in particular.

As a cute little boy
with strawberry blonde hair
kept cropped short to scalp
acquired motherly
endearment of "little monkey,"
accompanied courtesy pinch of cheeks
yet outgrew both imposition of buzz cut
and appellation, yet bananas
as passion fruit never faded
but parental decree to schedule appointments
with barber became vehemently reviled.

I vaguely recollect demonstratively
niggling, remonstrating, and voicing
strong objection, ne protestation
against getting a haircut
(in tandem with gesticulations)
as aladdin upper grades of elementary school,
whereby parents quickly relented
allowing, enabling, and providing
their singular sole son opportunistic
fostering unhealthy relationship
growing his long luscious locks
with what in short order became
nonestablishmentarian true trademark.

Fixation as a vitamin ******
peculiarly evolved whereby
ingesting over the counter supplements
(despite evidence to the contrary)
buzzfeeds limp tresses
lacking pseudo/quasi Jewfro
(a curly, frizzy, or bushy hairstyle
worn by some Jewish people,
reminiscent of an Afro)
sported by yours truly
during his emerging adulthood.

Palm history awash with drips
unballed fist humboldt
splayed fingers vamoose releasing
wrist took rat release sing psalm
palm history awash with drips.

(Me slippery fingers slither,
slip and slide splashing ala
Jackson *******), sans slap
dash experimental, swiftly
tailored and harried writing
style, yes on par with purging,
spewing, venting...unexpurgated,
unexpressed, unexplained...
words, which this Engelbert
Humperdinck singer/songwriter,

(whose birth name actually
Arnold George Dorsey MBE
inexplicably popped
into the mind of this Dadaist)
offers "FAKE" apology for any
self inflicted, or sadomasochistic
flagellated cranial contusions
out of utter futility to make sense
regarding following gobbledygook!

GOOD LUCK!

Mine groovy palmar flexion
creases forever moistened
by porous size **** leaking levees
provoking deluge outranking Biblical flood -
handy history (in miniature)
replete with Ark keel logical artifacts
discovered by hall mark wainwright -
about 10 stone and 5 pound huckster,
circa Fin de siècle, when
callous ten hooks (calisthenics, eh)

caught without Noah
shadow of a doubt proof positive
by Matthew Scott,
so don't Harris me
(amat sure his surname)
linkedin to storied testament
rivalling epic of Gilgamesh,
nee the entire spoilers alerts since
dawn of civilization writ small
impossible mission to decipher

indelibly etched, (what appear
as Egyptian hieroglyphics),
methinks his perspiration
contains preservative agent,
(a natural formaldehyde like substance)
generated nsync
to maintain eternal youthfulness,
which stumps medical community,
and earned him hashtagged "hotmail"
(eagerly sought after human commodity),

a blessing and curse palms plagued
with chronic profuse wetness, yet lines
(little flushed streams of consciousness)
rowed by itty bitty teensy weensy
merry daydreamers harkens back
when life held faint promise
for scattered (contra) bands
of bipedal hominids fiercely
competing with trumpeting

(Taj Mahal sized) beasts
(donned Johnny come lately tousled
windswept hirsute trademark)
Euclid heir'm barreling along
barren steppes all around
the one straggly mulberry bush,
where one pensive monkey (proto-human)
chased the weasel
all around the world wide web.

As origin of **** Sapien species surged ahead,
harboring nascent predominance
asper said primate reproductively bred,
(albeit via incremental fits and starts)
evolutionary forebears didst dread
Tom Tom Club former members
an American new wave band founded in 1981
by husband-and-wife team Chris Frantz
and Tina Weymouth
as a side project from Talking Heads,
rocketing them to super stardom
similar to heights of fame and fortune,
where band zeppelin led
exemplifying, fortifying, and glorifying QED
quod erat demonstrandum
meaning "that which was to be demonstrated,"

whence, (since time immemorial) nasty, short
brutish, loutish, and vampish anthropological,
genealogical, and millennial
report card found forebears
precariously perched, pitched, and positioned quart
toured pièce de résistance  purport
head supremacy devastatingly,
heavily, and literally bruited nearly did abort

tentative tenacious status
being supreme species oft times
challenged minuscule leading edge
proto humans rendered
stronghold atop ACME perch
(on evolutionary leading cusp) fund hedge
ching hypothetical bets said simians
nearly toppled off figurative ledge
against being easily uprooted
akin to one weeding out unwanted sedge
imposing fledgling breakfast of champions
clinging to niched wedge

while serial incessant challenges nearly wrote
snuffed out clinched placed viz *** him tote
often at fateful loggerheads,
where survival of the fittest smote
cream of the crop sacrificed for Ares
poised to strike dawn of dusky mankind
viz apish creatures almost got rote
off while chance dominance, eminence grise
pitted, spitted, and got vetted sans un quote
able primal screaming expletives
pitted Neanderthal progenitors note
worthy kickstarter scrum held dim promise,
whether weathered brood
which smattering population comprised
a scattered handful of rudimentary
destined to become a GOAT

contemporary competitive lass or dude,
whence latent talent to net fame and fortune
voluntarily sharing wealth as altruistic,
deterministic, humanistic, and idealistic
amidst looming global warming
legacy of industrial revolutions,
which pointedly wreaked havoc
radioactive Superfund sites still exude
toxins, where dangerous fallout glommed,

rained, and frankly zapped the tocsin
muted, muffled, muddied waters
where pollution never
confronted Wilma or Fred Flintstone
generic Geico caveman/woman respectively,
and aside from external
threatening ecological depredations
violent crime comprises tribal (family) feud
where might versus right,

the deterministic factor aye include
at undoubtedly animalistic behavior
defied being categorized as lewd
since each monkey's uncle
similarly frolicked, gallivanted, and hocked
like a CRO-MAGNON
European early modern humans,
when he flirted in done ****
videre licet dangling modifier
attested courtesy punctuated equilibrium

(the hypothesis evolutionary development
marked by isolated episodes
of rapid speciation
between long periods
of little or no change)
courtesy Stephen Jay Gould
fate didst not occlude
also absence of consciousness rued

until...fast forward to the present day,
when carnal, feral,
and integral leanings attempted
to rope hormonal, gonadal,
and banal found
more recent ancestors (discovered
visa vis like Ancestry.com and/or 23andme)
rolled in the hay
under the natural predilection to lay naked,
especially frisky comb early
May procreative force
engendered the writer of this poem,
when his parents coaxed foreplay
unbeknownst, that their singular heir,
would be afflicted with countless
obsessive compulsive mailer to slay
ritualistic controlling psychic threnody
dominated favored holistic paradigm oy vey
dystopia prevails every which way
Gaia will be declared winner yay!

Writer of these words,
a former Lower Providence inhabitant,
who dwelled within darkest depths
of Dante Alighieri's inferno
for most of his outlandish, impish,
and devilish growing up years
witnessed microscopic scrimmage,
where spermatozoan with most forcefulness
muscled itself handedly,
magnificently, and splendidly
envision unicellular olympic competition,

yours truly swimmingly
begot during the heat
of parents being passionately fruitful
courtesy diploid erogenous frisson
between my then searingly
robust virile father and fecund mother
~ late March/early April 1958
ushered seminal moment
post ova fertilization realization
courtesy male gamete

penetrating zona pellucida
a glycoprotein layer surrounding the oocyte
triggering cell bait multiplication
subsequently yielding male
gendered offspring and sole son
hashtagged as uber twittering, snapchatting,
shutterflying super duper
cute little boy with short strawberry blond hair,
whose solitudinarian nature
became quite evident when he displayed
acute social withdrawal

upon off fish shill commencement
getting schooled as a grouper
by mister Hooper,
who made his debut
appearance on Sesame Street
November 10, 1969
as storied and staple long time resident
on above named television show
until March 18, 1983,
beloved by adults and children alike

within make believe community
(a conglomerate of real and imaginary locales)
peopled with proprietary named characters
for any of a number of humorously grotesque
glove or rod puppets and marionettes,
chiefly representing animals,
first popularized, idolized,
dramatized, capitalized, and actualized
by the children's television programme
Sesame Street (1969-) and more recently
in The Muppet Show (1976-80).

Also: a toy made to resemble one of these
ingenious brainchild of Jim Maury Henson
an American puppeteer, animator, actor,
and filmmaker who achieved worldwide
notability as the creator of the Muppets
which series originated as two pilot episodes
produced by Henson for ABC in 1974 and 1975.

Henson's shocking, sudden death occurred on May 16, 1990 of ***** failure resulting from streptococcal toxic shock syndrome. An emotional memorial service was held five days later at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City.

Living social amidst
crime infested urban jungle
bumping uglies cheek to jowl
analogous fate being housed in jail
escape room of great outdoors
spurred subject matter in question
to journey to hinterlands
far from madding crowd
of Fort Lauderdale
woodsman ever watchful for Centaur

the body and legs of a horse
and with the head,
arms, and torso of a male
equipped with crossbow as scare tactic
shaft piercing flesh
no worse than nine inch nail
vehemently decried nasty,
short and brutish beastie boys
Greek mythological character
come to earth as animal savior
considered louts unfairly advantageous

killing wildlife as deal breaker
for uber twittering overscale
trespassers slaying innocent creature
no matter game good n plenti
eco consciousness mindedness
prompted inner conflict to prevail
as ace archer held taut
likened to nock fletched arrow in quiver
or shaking dandering quail
caught in carnivorous crosshairs,

where hunter doth regale
and remember to embellish maxim
one bird in the hand
worth two in the bush
opportunistically praises quarry
as divine intervention
after heavens he did intently surveil
Brief Mane n' Tail
shampoo tall (tell) tale
as Jonah felt when he got
swallowed by a whale.

Once upon a time
in a previous life of course,
anonymous wordsmith tour de force
yours truly (me)
remembers being a horse,
the handsome fine companion
of one Norwegian bachelor farmer,
who lived near Lake Wobegon,
which Minnesota enclave
analogous to Old Norse

country, anyway while
subsequently reincarnated
as beast of burden animal
(said steed synonyms
courtesy Roget's Thesaurus),
with flowing and glistening mane
and tail cuz lovely and neighborly lass
regularly shampooed former and latter,
nevertheless, I escaped captivity
and found myself in a fate far worse.

In present incarnation
shackled (née yoked
like an oxen to a plow)
manned courtesy Piers Plowman
to husbandry duties
after pledging troth and wed
as generic bipedal hominid thoroughbred
**** sapiens punk rocker,
I plod and tread
along boulevard of broken dreams,

fast as greased lightning, I sped
but these spindleshanks
ain't quick enough,
now as an old enfeebled
gentleman well read
luscious brown locks
adorn noggin of me Mister Ned
existential crisis offset
washing hair (applying
Mane n' Tail shampoo

the only pride and joy)
a wishy washy talking head
until these lovely bones become dead,
which cremains of min
slated to get dispersed and scattered
to the four winds
where ashes will be absorbed
buzzfeeding courtesy Horse Chestnut
purpose driven life
covering, functioning, and incorporating
self analogous to bedspread.

Betwixt and between us
lies an immense untraversable realm
of never knowable forbidding possibilities
quixotic, rhapsodic, sympathetic, telepathic...,
where tantalizing, scandalizing, and revolting,
nevertheless promising fantasies beckons
buzzfeeding, crowdsourcing, dovetailing,
earthshaking, foo fighting, hashtagging,
jump/kick starting, twittering
uber whatsapp pining

toward pinteresting paroxysms
of mental, physical, and spiritual ecstasy
courtesy hotmail testosterone teasing temptation,
thus methinks of the infinitely jesting
combinations and permutations,
where we could frolic in the autumn mist
in a land called Honah Lee
far from the madding crowd
starkly aware of naked (lunch) able truth,
the one predominant potential

to become linkedin narcissistically -
betokens prematurely ******* salvation
back sliding against turpitude,
how laughable when
within body electric of mine
these lovely bones linkedin
where hypocrisy reigns supreme
validating yours truly (me) deserving
casanova wannabe comeuppance
about a decade and a half after

risqué monkey business
came back to our abode
at 724 West Railroad Avenue,
Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania
as a tongue tied guilt riddled spouse
exuding culpable, deplorable,
and execrable friggin gall
unbridled travesty spent
ideally groomed for male escort
tasting tender verboten hello kitty vittles

totally tubular transgressions,
I tiptoed thru the tulips
the missus issuing rank vehemence
being livid with rage an understatement
against husbandly underhandedness
warranting his well deserved
videre licet just desserts,
where doled out tidbits heavily sprinkled
with accusation, condemnation, fulmination,
she eyeing sharp object, whereat

wife subsequently mulled over
dead serious contemplation
humiliation in juxtaposition with jugulation
repentant spouse himself gladly experienced
punishing blackened barbs
accompanied additionally
by little puncture wounds
scoring the skin courtesy
analogous to titanium bullets
shot out from beebee gun

eliciting character assassination
involving, seducing qua inveigling,
masterfully baiting adultery
most beastly conniving divorcée
gallivanting across Cumberland Farms
in flagrante delicto gourmand
luring complicit mistress
during dead of winter ~ 2010
toward **** rock within copse
housing The Washington Memorial Chapel
built in 1903 serving dual purpose.

courtesy latitudinarian, nonestablishmentarian,
sexagenarian, and Unitarian son
and modest mastermind maven maverick.

Another anniversary of her death occurs
upon advent of
May fourth two thousand and five,
not quite seventy years since her birth
November thirteenth nineteen thirty five,
nor fifty years
a married bride at age nineteen,
cuz back in dem days,
an unmarried woman
at twenty five would be
written off as a spinster.

Way back before
this baby boomer waz astute
countless decades before
aye became long in the tooth,
and also prior tomb ma mouth
sporting dentures to boot
fond memories rush
linkedin to moody blues
more than so far back
envisioning illusory wind blown steppes

(wait...this visage belongs to thine
long since deceased maternal grandfather
hub hill eave didst hail from Kiev,
(now spelled Ukrainian version - Kyiv)
or some place thereabouts within the mind
of this prevaricating aging
"FAKE" barnstorming ole coot
preserved records,
(those times before cds or dvds)
and now rewinds tape

when family of origin
celebrated Xmas secular Harris
house style rendition of Magic Flute,
though genealogy steeped in Judaism
recollections abound of boyhood mirth
devoid of aforementioned rubric asper
orthodox and/or reformed
Judeo-Christian religion,
which essentially means,
I did not give or take a hoot

nonetheless cherish fond memories,
when ma late mum
relished making a hoo ha,
and got tickled and pickled pink
rousing a hullabaloo wrapping presents
and jamming three knee high stockings
with healthy goodies such as fruit
cuz, as a devotee
of Carleton Fredericks,
she frowned on giving out sweets

particularly to three children she begat,
(myself and two sisters)
and iced hill easily
recall her poker faced
feigning complete ignorance and surprise
sheep played “dumb” as did father
convincingly not giving a hoot
puzzled asper neatly wrapped and
stacked gifts under decorated tree
while distorted reflections of stockings

fractal shimmers from metallic gewgaws
in tandem of nostalgic magic
worth mo' than any amount of loot,
perhaps Christmas festivities a flash point moot,
when some jolly codger (papa)
dressed up, sans Santa Claus suit
and petsmart dogs doubled up as reindeer,
whose canine barking,
cavorting, and dashing
haphazardly set them

on a direct rural route
to pandemonium as crashing trimmed tree
cacophony elicited laughter, punctuated
equilibrium with irrepressible
escaped bursts of flatulence
(ah won't mention hoof from)
that emulated a toot.

Maternal grandfather of mine
long since passed among the living;
He left his Motherland
before onset of Holodomor,
a policy of the Soviet Union
aimed at the destruction
of the Ukrainian nation,
the 1932–1933 genocide in Ukraine.

The present doth bear witness
to repeated assaults upon
scapegoated innocent people.

Russian soldiers in general
and Vladimir Putin in particular
perpetuate outright injustice
against Ukrainian population.

Impossible mission to comprehend
the mindset of belligerent, egotistical,
indignant, *******, tsarist
self anointed totalitarian zealot.

Gross violation of human rights
blatantly carried out
courtesy diabolical genocidal horror
directly linkedin to Kremlin
official residence of president
of Russian Federation since 1991.

Jackknifed world wide web
teeters on the brink
of economic collapse
as mayhem rents asunder
western country Ukraine
the general Slavic word
for 'frontier region'
and 'marches' which referred,
most likely, to territories
of Kyivan Rus'.

Violation of basic covenant
imposes life and death
decision for multitudes
to flee their homeland
forsaking personal property
and cherished mementos
irreplaceable treasured trappings
left for invaders to ransack.

Those very villainous vultures
(metaphorically speaking or writing)
namely enemy Russian soldiers
bolster weaponry equipage
with disproportionate advanced
terrorizing precision machines
such as warplanes and Kalibr
(Caliber) cruise missiles,
carried by warplanes;
and Iskander missiles

allowing, enabling, and providing
a range of up to 500 kilometers
(around 300 miles);
The Soviet-designed Grad (Hail),
Smerch (Tornado) and Uragan
(Hurricane) multiple rocket launchers
designed to fire a salvo
of powerful rockets
to destroy concentrations
of troops or military equipment;
Cluster munitions and
thermobaric weapons.

Mass exodus of population
floods neighboring countries
Poland, Romania, Slovakia,
Hungary and Moldova
dazed and confused refugees
making journey across borders
crammed analogous to sardines
nevertheless hospitable strangers
welcome them with opened arms.

Without question scads of people
vulnerable to psychological ills
oversaturated with melancholia
concerning countless losses,
albeit violently wrenched
out their homeland,
whereat sons and father mandated
to stay behind and
defend the motherland
against surfeit of military might.

Meanwhile daughters and mothers
the latter saddled, and encumbered
with small children and pets
trundle toward safe haven
instantaneous citizenship guaranteed
no holds barred, nor no bolds hard.

Contrast the above with other
persecuted peoples most
allotted with melanin
and insync with attendant
definitive physical characteristics
populating marginalized jinxed
African, Central/South American,
Haitian, Mexican... regions
suffer worse fate than death

beleaguered, destitute hardship linkedin
with cutthroat fearsome insidious
lurking opportunistic ravenous
United States agents ready
to deport and send them back,
where certain misery
and interminable suffering
predictable as Earth will
rotate along 23.5 degrees
from plane of its orbit
around the sun
come the morrow.

Though aghast at grave atrocity
within the killing zone of Ukraine
will subsequently reconfigure, rejigger,
and reshuffle the Russian syndicate
of extreme wealth including Putin
controlling, governing, and
manipulating the franchise.

If in fact such a female and/or male exists
an insufferable existence clamors for surcease
against riptide of ineradicable anguish.

Living hand to mouth
for majority of mein kampf
(elle ex vee orbitz
roam'n around the nearest star)
punctuated with disequilibrium,
a comma date ting me
with penury and perdition.

Mental health issues aplenty
wrought courtesy congenital characteristics
manifestation of nasality
(thank submucous cleft palate)
linkedin with body dysmorphic disorder,
(whereat skinny legs
veritable spindleshanks of mine -
easily mistakenly
belong to generic flamingo)
laughably mismatched

and abhorred by yours truly,
a rather diminutive sexagenarian,
(okay, I stand tall)
at approximately seventy inches,
and weigh about
one hundred and forty five pounds
converted into British weight
equals10.3571428571 stone
whose reedy voice
easily increases in pitch,

when he (regularly)
experienced social anxiety
attendant with concomitant
physiological symptoms
such as: vertiginous undulations,
sweaty palms (palmar hyperhidrosis),
surge of adrenaline,
racing heart, and queasiness to boot
eased compliments nine medications
lastly pinhead (in my mind) caps off
anorexia nervosa scarred physique.

Academic and employment travails galore
dogged, hounded, lobbed at frangible psyche
I marginally experienced
high marks in school
but suffered cognitive difficulties
witnessed courtesy poor grades,
and getting promoted by skin of teeth;
A similarly unflattering track record
exhibited upon commencement
acquiring and retaining
sporadic gainful employment,

which stints getting hired
frequently quickly found me terminated
much to the chagrin
and anger from parents,
whereby strong emotions
(laced with colorful expletives)
found yours truly standing silent
allowing, enabling, and providing
rage against singular son
to internalize verbal assaults
upon my consciousness

further exacerbating
predisposition to psychological maladies
ill suited to marriage or fatherhood
both endeavors embarked upon
at the expense of now grown daughters,
whose childhood years
festered with indigence,
and pathetic excuse for father
plus emotionally immature
absolute zero worthiness as helpmate.

Thus...no surprise
Wrath Of Khan chosen as theme song
replays itself reminding me,
I never did nor ever will belong
to human race, a punishment
accompanied by other outliers among
the forbidding and desolate tract.

courtesy evil ferocious wraithlike grimace

Acrimonious scurrilous words
flew out the mouth
of vicious nasty shortish brute
leaving yours truly
as a key witness dumbfounded.

Outrageous spluttering claims
of stolen parcels
plus ransacked jewelry
totaling to the tune
of countless Benjamins
(hundred dollar bills)
viciously lobbed at dear wife of mine
as iterated in a previously written poem.

Camera phone ****** forward
(analogous to pointing a gun)
the miscreant recorded images
of stunned spouse,
and vehicular license plate,
which automobile property of yours truly.

Though Will-o'-the-wisp
of hashtagged wicked witch
(at the most, she stands five feet tall
and weighs all
of one hundred pounds),
nevertheless said sylphlike
slender as a reed human specimen
exhibited threatening behavior
justifiably prompted me to call 911.

The police person came
and peppered us with questions,
though clear cut validity of false claim
against the missus
could not be substantiated
since no surveillance cameras installed.

Meanwhile we fear thy harridan neighbor,
who possesses sinister motives towards us,
and could surreptitiously vandalize
our (actually mine)
white 2020 Hyundai Elantra.

Such brazen impudent verbal brickbats
cast a spell of distress
and methinks Wiccan sorcery invoked,
I now speculate on the verity
and strong suspicion
utilization of the black arts,
and would not be surprised
if unnamed fellow tenant
exudes diabolical capability
to inflict harm or misfortune.

The webbed wide world
houses inexplicable
supernatural phenomena
perhaps linkedin to invocations
loosed from the lips of a livid virago
possibly disguised
as The Venerable Bede incarnate
or some vestal ******.

I count my blessings
to be in the good graces
(at least thus far)
of heretofore unnamed attractive,
yet malevolently unhinged
menacing mad as a hatter misfit,
(nothing but skin and bones)
whose predilection
towards poisonous
pronounced declarations
belies her aesthetically pleasing person.

If ever opportunity arises
why she wolf exhibits
demoniacal huntress role
evoking guise machination,
where pent up fury poised to strike
against my significant other,
I will bravely ask about baseless
flagrant kindled violation
jeopardizing ordinarily
peaceful easy feeling
toward lovely lady I married.

Sentient beings distraught
psyche rent asunder
courtesy false accusations
heated words exchanged like gunfire
pox upon the house of Deborah Hunter,
a vicious vindictive
girlish looking septuagenarian woman
buzzfeeding unfounded conspiracy
that the missus steals packages
ever since we moved here
at Highland Manor Apartments

force core and seven years ago
July first two thousand and seventeen
thee wife accused
unfounded rumor circulated,
she brought in snakes
courtesy whom I hashtag snaggletooth
blind as a bat
mistook large make believe
as voracious very hungry,
albeit friendly stuffed caterpillars,

nevertheless possessing
an insatiable appetite
for rumor mongers
especially for bony thin
older bonnie lass
or similar facsimile thereof
such as a small number of tenants
housed here at above mentioned
low income low slung building
formerly an elementary school

repurposed many decades ago
into accommodations
mostly catering to senior citizens,
and/or those receiving
social security disability
the latter classification pertains
to yours truly,
a psychologically tuckered out
egalitarian, libertarian, nonsectarian,
sexagenarian, solitudinarian Unitarian

frazzled, grizzled,
and puzzled wordsmith
who knows not why the wife
singled out and bullied, hastled,
intimidated, and threatened
creating hostile living environment
impacting me
indirectly caught in the crosshairs
wishing upon a star
to acquire monetary resources

to hightail out of
insufferable toxic shock
system of the down
slipping into the behavioral sink
suffocating - impossible mission
to catch my breath
brainstorming for solution
while pitched upon
horns of a dilemma,
whereat I shout out

thru the corridors of time
calling Bull Moose and Rocky
my childhood fictitious cartoon heroes
to deliver salvation out the maws
of an untenable situation
threatening life and limb
hankering for life, liberty
and the pursuit
of happiness birthing
nirvana linkedin to soul asylum.

hashtagged introvertedness trademark
silently exorcised, ostracized, and vilified
Impossible mission to resuscitate...
a forsaken promising
(even short lived) friendship
regardless of expressed gender
exhibited by other persons from yesteryear.

When trying to jump/kick start
lapsed meaningful interpersonal connections
from much earlier in my life
absence of a spark to kindle
once upon a time
valuable linkedin treasured bond
bereft of dynamism.

Folly entertained courtesy yours truly
bafflingly, desperately, and futilely
grasped elusive chimera
sabotaging rare occasion,
when fate smiled benignly,
I botched, ******, forfeited...
overarching golden opportunity
to experience sustained
positive rapport with compatible
lass or lad to accompany me
thru travails or buzzfeeding
a "lost" boy
with words of encouragement.

Now as an emotionally freighted
Unitarian, sexagenarian,
nonestablishmentarian, omnivore
psychologically perturbed,
rankled, tortured, vexed
bully me I got
repeatedly severely traumatized
similarly hectored by parents
issuing threatening ultimatums
no surprise I surrendered
to proclivity when showered
with affection courtesy

consensual ****** intimacy
(minus the use of birth control)
eventually married the gal,
whose child I helped beget these last
twenty seven and a half years
to a woman, (who after numerous
illicit marital transgressions)
forgave her leftist
write minded husband,
regarding his lascivious, promiscuous,  
and salacious engagements
though would not tolerate

(understandably, necessarily, logically)
even platonic female relationships,
nevertheless does unconditionally
accept him mental health issues,
and all told comprise
obsessive compulsive behavior,
anxiety/panic attacks
palmar hyperhidrosis,
considerably alleviated courtesy
nine prescription medications
Aetna Medicare Advantra
picks up the tab without any co-pay.

I cannot help but wince
with twenty twenty hindsight smarts,
nurse misgivings and hanker with
shutterflying, recurring, plaguing melancholy
where passivity punctuated
the first two decades of mein kampf.

May today bring unbridled bliss
delivered courtesy sunshine kissed
giving Midas a run for his money.

When the last trace of night
evaporates analogous to milky hue,
whereat a dreamy state
pervades thy being from tropical delight
as  approach of Dawn
highlights morning landscape Gaia drew
ah, a paradise
in pristine majestic light
arced, bathed, chiseled displayed
described, elongated, fingered gilt
heraldic imagery joyfully

kindling luminosity
markedly novel picture
quintessentially resplendent
sedating this ubiquitous voyager
waking xing vision
yawning zealot acquiesces
bounteous chimerical dalliance
betwixt Goddess delivering break of day
against defeated quotidian
celestial vault, where Mithras dethroned

the capriciously finicky
inky beleaguered darkly crest
etched fading faux French Gendarmes
into humongous jagged lances
endowing sinosoidal amplitude
modulations nudging raiment
donned by trumpeting requiem,
quiescent pronouncement
obliging new morning laminating,
kneading, and jettisoning

remnant shreds twilight
understood voicing willingness
Xerxes yeomen paid tribute
as did preceding and subsequent
captivating Earthlinked
fighting globe trotters held hostage
upon thee third rock from the sun
straddling an invisible saddle
which oblate spheroid
forfeited, manacled, and pitched
tarry sky (vis a vis feathery touch)

as one more ordinary day
wrested, tussled, and quickened
nocturnal nod toward solar spears
betook the reluctant
wrap of blackest night soundlessly forcing
transient ******* (overruling
the cerulean skies) until
dark shadows prefacing the edge of night
once again admirably, willingly,
and unequivocally surrendered  

a fair pact to take solace
whence the morrow allowed, enabled
and provided a ray of shining hope
(every now and again eclipsed)
via the Lunar trajectory
coinciding with axis
when spatial relations
commandeered thru cosmic consciousness
dictating gambit heft
forging atypical sliver of night

before cosmological laissez faire
retreated into the back round,
a universal choreographer
envisioning, insinuating,
maintaining quirkiness  
until recapitulation
sans astronomers predicted future
trio of heavenly bodies
would be aligned bedazzling Primates
access to espy Corona of the sun.

(a poor excuse for legs),
and get me the latest
sophisticated prosthetics advancements,
whereat integration of cultured stem cells
into custom made appendages
allows, enables, and provides
unfortunate recipients of amputations
to experience sensations.

No more will yours truly
(skinny legged sexagenarian)
envy amputees fitted with smart limbs
equipped tricked out arms and legs,
cuz he will be proud owned
with false limbs
(mainly legs, I did not decide
about equally spindly arms)
finding a once nasty, short
and brutish solitary
Norwegian bachelor farmer
transformed into a very charming, tall
and humane debonair troubadour
rivaling the likes of any swain.

No insult meant
for those handicapped,
who experience(d) phantom limb
perhaps linkedin to
fierce near mortal kombat,
wondering if stayin alive
after surviving serious wombs
that killed fellow combatants
trying your darndest
to feel worthy earning a purple heart,
(a distinguished military decoration
awarded in the name of the President

those who got wounded or killed
while serving in the U.S. armed forces),
with attendant laurels such as
handsome veteran benefits,
answering the call of duty
nevertheless daily reminders
being survivor as a foreigner
waging war, when host country
loathed American military as infidels,
whose countrymen bathed
innocent defenseless civilians
in blood of barbarity.

Stop saying sassy sobriquets schooled
***** spindleshanks...
studious skinny scruffy scribe.

Scathing, scolding, screaming,
scorning, searing, sniggering,
sociopathic sarin soaked skewed
squirt, sputtering, squawking, sleepily
staggering, stabbing, swaggering
sweltering sadistic, sarcastic,
savage, systemically systematically
stigmatized, supersized saber sharp
schick shaving, shunned, sabotaged,
scarred, scorched, smote, sanguine,
stippled, speckled schizophrenic

sensibility, spurring, seething,
somewhat stultified, sophisticated,
spellbound spirited scabrous
schlemiel schlemazel, stenciled,
sundered sniveling sanguine storied
snakebitten sojourning *******,
skeptical shoddy sophomoric
screwball, subtly sagacious,
stunted, sclerotic, scrappily
shuffling short, Shylock
styled sideburns Semite,

sainted Shasta sipping
shriveled self secluded sad sack,
sullenly syncopated, synthesized,
slobbering sybaritic, scruffy
sheepish sketchy scalawag,
Socratically scrutinizing, seizure
stricken, stoically sneezing,
shamed Skidrow skeezer, shifty,
sweaty, sham shaman,
supremely spidery, schmaltzy,
sylan seeking subsidized succor,

self shuttered, sequestered,
sidelined, shiftless, shabby,
semantically snazzy, soldiering,
shrieking, skulking, somber,
stooping, Segway scootering,
schmart spendthrift, Swahili
speaking, straitlaced, streamlined,
spongebobbing, sandal shod
sealegs, squarepants sporting
spectacles, sedate, sensate,
sentient, ship shaped,

shanghaied, salubrious,
slithering, snakish, stuttering,
sluggish, smashface scarred,
sober, solitary, sangfroid
skidamarink singing, Shamokin
speaking scrivener, scuzzy,
spunky, starved, submissively
suicidal, sunburned,
salaried shuffling senescent
snoutish soundcloud shutterflying
snapchatting Schwenksville schnorrer.

I lament bidding Gaia's creatures adieu,
an inner conflict dust brew
within this scribe, who offers ye to chew
(like sweet treats metaphorically) thee do
tee incumbent, when Doomsday clock
counts down minutes few
according Al Gore rhythm
unstoppably ticking,
when life gets turned to global goo
tenderized viz Doctor Zeus
if not Horton Hears Hoo

then most definitely The Lorax
(couching urgent morals underscored
by satellite photographs
showing melting ice caps or igloo,
which planetary sos, sans in extremis
requires joint effort of Gentile and Jew,
plus every other sectarian credo,
dogma, ethos...knew
clear family, and whatnot
to become linkedin with Linda Loo

yes, we moost not forget
Old McDonald's with his moo
moo there bovine creatures
agedly hobbling along, or new
lee born, cuz juiced one day
per three hundred and sixty five
(six with leap year -
imagine dragons festooned leotard
with brand name Oroblu
or poor ole Winnie The Pooh

eternally stuck in Rabbit's
hole sum Hutch as a queue
doth loosely form dreaming up and rue
men ate about the old woman
who lived in a shoe
mien hating solution
(burning the midnight oil) true
lee trying to remedy plight
of said bear character,
hemmed in courtesy

**** sapiens population explosion
whereat their den only
allows, enables, and provides
cubby hole view
perhaps unstated message being woo
king in tandem solutions to resolve
wretched condition of world wide web
possible by bridging differences
between me and you, and you, and you...
essentially everyone
comprising the human zoo.

stimulated courtesy follicles,
where Coconut, Olive, Grapeseed,
Jojoba, Amla and Vitamin E oils
allowed, enabled,
and provided head start
germinating peach fuzz into brown strands
after Flaxseeds, Pumpkin seeds and Fenugreek
being sprinkled on my scalp
yielded a bumper crop of hirsute weeds
occasionally tripping me up

analogous to hallucinogen
causing a public health hazard
warranting, necessitating, and goading me
to give shout out for stylist
to tender mine lovely brunette locks,
which might be repurposed into a wig
for patients undergoing chemotherapy,
or afflicted with alopecia,
(the partial or complete absence
of hair from areas of the body
where it normally grows; baldness).

As a knobby kneed, puny,
scrawny, wimpy kid whose,
(back in the nineteen sixties),
his parents decreed their singular
(painfully shy dorky, geeky and nerdy)
old school boy who sported a buzz cut,
which found him reacting and responding
(in short order rebelling)
passive aggressively by
refusing to bathe

until mommy dearest demanded
(well nigh upon
the bewitching hour of midnight)
to witness her son soaked
and essentially marinated
(until my skin shriveled like a prune)
in the (clawfoot) tub
lest he stink to high heavens,
and given a serious dressing down
by the timely principal Mister Clock.

Far back as I can remember,
the significance of hair
assumed an outsize role,
whether enviously eying other lads
their thick straight hank,
or nowadays bristling
with self reproach
cursed with thinning
greasy limp strands
(interspersed with gray)

experiencing shame being seen in public,
a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff
and an embarrassment
to the human race
ofttimes associating
myself with Samson,
whereat emotional, physical,
and spiritual strength
rooted (pun intended)
within each hair shaft

(the visible part of the hair
that sticks out of the skin),
and rooted in the skin and extends
down to the deeper layers of the skin
surrounded by the hair follicle
(a sheath of skin
and connective tissue),
which is also connected
to a sebaceous gland.

Hello✋
I like to get positioned for sixty nine.

Are you looking for a scheming,
schlepping, and schvitzing writer?
natural body and laid-back vibe?ﾠ
I'm all about therapeutic touch via
bolts, nuts, screws
and life of bee dogged trees.

teasing with idealism beef ****
illusory vision fades away
whatever ur method for stress to allay
perhaps mebbe e yar
cyber surfing tub bid on ebay
enjoy this day
or night sky painted
sixty plus shades of gray
whether completing
n ordinary task such as pitching hay
searching for a needle,

or quietly in bed ye lay
whence yar imagination doth -
like tha ant elope play
imagining whatever fantasy
mental efforts wish to stay
versus bing told "GO A WAY"
or sum mother retort akin
to go fish or jump in Lake Woebegone,
Yukon axe me an axle lent question
that snap, crackle and pop
into your head – YAY.

any query wood soot me fine 4u2 ash
pardon my being so brash
as into ur settled life i crash
while search 4 pinch from missus dash
this juvenile dill link quint doth wish
to indulge verboten fruit with thee in a flash
skipping stomping on glass spattered with hash
drive vin by each of your love eye lash
when lids fluttershy light reo speed,
wagon b4 my eyes appear as A mush-mash,
and that even a slight halo headdress
appears like a bridal sash
wheel coming ye as
"chief garbage taster" walking white trash.

puzzlement at ma style o writing,
thus far did not find an urge in ye 2 flee
but please, i intend no harm boot feel glee
because u r so beautiful tum me.

like right now, i wand dah
d'ya goot a mac attack
if passion could gush -
while either u or me like on our back
2 generate r own sin tha sized pet troll
Liam also called frack
no bag o trick this punster doth lack?!

well...anyway hullo duh ling!
how ah ya? boy do look ma ville us!

:) dis hard knock er skool alum
invites hew to take thee ss ***
& rube hee zzz magic flute for
liquid asset amadeus Mozart
wood wolf down like a gang
as meself bait for mistress tub be comb,
thus, reveille tapped out taut as a drum
stick - albeit an itty bitty teensy
weensy bona fide courtesy
frum me...the little known, boot famous
in dis papas po' house -
held 2getter with
toothpicks and bubble gum
and blood, sweat, and tears - in summer

sealed tight by august expansion
via mister sun humming
a radiant tune -
re: wee thin mine interregnum
wheel soon end
and thankfully for ewe go mum
boo twill oaf her mad duress
write when'r ya feel comfortably numb.

postscript:
u madam moist lock lee har rah rah rah
striking beauty to me,
a sexagenarian caulk cajun
married male
i sense thee wholesome -
with insight eye see
a gorgeous gal so ripe n succulent
from the human tree
wanna me to drool
ova yaw lil zyder zee.

getting fitted for a new pair of dentures
at Liberty Dental in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania;
The tab picked up courtesy
Aetna Medicare Advantra Cares (HMO D-SNP).

Unfortunately said outcome
represents the exception
(regarding measuring success or failure
in the school room or work place)
rather than the rule,
whereat scattershot academic,
and employment history
reveals mine curriculum vitae
chock-a-block extant
with poor scholastic performance
and termination (as if pierced
with a terrible swift sword)
from one job after another respectively.

I made an absolute ZERO effort attempt
to score high marks or earn kudos,
no rhyme nor reason why
yours truly rarely
if ever sought to persevere,
and essentially did not try
though forever dog gone tired
donning figurative dunce cap -
a pointed hat, formerly used
as an article of discipline

in schools in Europe
and the United States—
especially in the 19th
and early 20th centuries—
for children who were disruptive
or were considered slow in learning,
(where classmates or other employees
assailed ready made fodder
made snickering snide remarks
in tandem with

swashbuckling sword play - nah
akin to the three musketeers -
barred from Mars)
toward extremely socially withdrawn boy
whispering under their breath at a lad,
who owned an inferiority complex
the size of Pennsylvania)
exhibiting faith no more in self
at a painfully early age
found him eager, ready and willing
to allow, enable, and provide

ripe opportunity for others to ply
name calling and bullying,
experiencing trauma analogous to
British POWs ordered
by their Japanese captors
to construct a bridge
of strategic importance
over the river Kwai
but never did tears of sadness
simultaneously emanate
from left and right eye.

Steely Dan sing queen (me)
outdid himself on sixtieth anniversary
after Grahame Wood
determined to meet
the evolving needs of the community
opened the first Wawa Food Market
in Folsom, PA, on April 16, 1964.

Today marked the sixth decade
since George Wood started
the Wawa dairy in 1902,
and it quickly became
a trusted name for fresh,
quality dairy.

As an unsung Patrons of said store,
I strove to achieve mitzvah
for an incapacitated wheelchair bound
resident here at Highland Manor Apartments.

The fickle finger (hut) of fate
unknowingly planned to liquidate
honest to dog sincere intentions
to deliver said drinkable goods
(you can bet your bottom dollar)
on his sterling promise
never foreseeing disastrous
misadventure out ranking
starry eyed bespectacled klutz
comprising the heart of this poem at any rate
(nitty gritty details omitted),
but essentially and summarily
spilled contents from three
twenty ounce cups of hotly perked coffee    
scalding himself in the process,
where epithets spewed
inadequately served at X-rate.

I asked him if he liked coffee
cuz today aforementioned vendor
acknowledged the brainchild
offering buzzfeeding caffeinated brew free
American chain of convenience stores
and gas stations originating
in the Philadelphia metropolitan area,
and now located along the East Coast
of the United States,
operating in Pennsylvania, New Jersey,
Delaware, Maryland, Virginia,
Washington, D.C., and Florida.

The remaining lines of this reasonable rhyme
garnered courtesy an endeavor
attempted quite some years ago
attempt bordering on the ridiculous to the sublime.

Even when iron not red hot,
I implement non customary quirks
regarding going for broke into survivor mode  
asia foreigner rather cold as ice
namely delinquent outsize credit card debt
mandates yours truly,
a cheesy survivor who rem: members
putting freeze on
Citizens Bank World MasterCard accounts,
whose helplessness to fork over

substantial dollar figure
analogous to one of three blind mice,
who ran after the farmer's wife
She cut off tails (OUCH!)
with a carving knife
must pay the price
methinks food in the slammer (ha)
will lack sugar and spice,
nevertheless macht schnell trice.

I exhaled deep sigh of relief
after speaking over the telephone,
whereby Arcadia Recovery Bureau
(i.e. collection agency)
based in Reading, Pennsylvania
explained yours truly owed $23.21
which considerably alleviated
immediate dire straits that figuratively
grabbed me by the nuts
hash tagged self scoundrel
a day late dollar short
dollars to donuts bonafide klutz

living ****** mint procreative
seminal squirt biological reproduction,
could never conceive to abort
despite countless occasions,
I blithely admit characteristics
linkedin with being a putz
going off rails as a one man train wreck
mine impossible mission to avoid
NOT running amok imagine
bull in a china shop
whereby the hypothetical proprietor
willing, ready able to tear out my guts.

Pigeon toed, I trip over me own little feet
size nine shoe small size for grown man
leaving utter disaster in his wake
synonymous when havoc strikes
chaos theory alive and well
ensues when I walk about
and dare take even one baby step.

Ever since adept with ability to crawl,
I ofttimes tumbled down the stairs,
but never did shed tears nor bawl
e'en when taking nosedive head first did fall
out the hatch of airplane

splattered, plastered, and matted
think suddenly feeling comfortably numb
joist another brick in wall
nevertheless acquiring stunt man role
paid big bucks

as **** sapien disguised as Sasquatch
(cause unkempt harried styled hair)
more times than I can remember
fell to Earth minus parachute,
which hoop fully explains

the incomprehensible drawl
earnestly and frankly harkening language
once extant within Gaul
which reverberated inside hall
of mountain (lionized) king.

Prior to any madcap misadventure
yours truly envisions his clumsiness
plays out within my third eye blind
hilarious scenario unfolds in slow motion
whereby accidental flick of wrist,
barely brushes up against
flimsy clothes rack

(the original motive begetting poem)
knee **** involuntary reaction,
kicking obstacle clear across Compton
generating comical feedback loop
impossible mission to stop
blockchain of fateful bitcoin events.

Living amidst (amongst) disarray
courtesy the missus, whose domestic habits
never merit housekeeping seal of approval
twenty four/seven pose
a hazard to mine existence.

Whereby I confessed being guilty
impossible mission to escape accusation
of prurient transgressions
wrought transformation and self condemnation
additionally begat demonstrable emasculation
against accepting, kindling,
urging temptation toward verboten fruit,
clearly communicated, albeit clumsily
courtesy non verbal gesticulation
labeling mine promiscuous, lascivious,
horrendous... behaviour reviling.

Yours truly shirked fidelity
regarding faithful vows
bequeathed courtesy angel of mercy,
who pledged her troth
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
five months (not quite to the day) before
"star student" birthed
on December twenty second,
(now gainfully employed
at Certified B-Corporation
headquartered in San Francisco, California).

The missus likened to Rose Madder
than a raging (red) bull
visa vis upon discovering mine absence
(cuz I slept in the basement cull
hooding with Casanova
while at 724 Railroad Avenue
keeping company with mice elf),
methought then how wretched and dull
being married and celibate,
hence yours truly sought full
fill mint outside the marriage,

yet unbeknownst to this husband
an automatic, fatalistic,
and opportunistic hull
king, quaking, and vociferating wife
gave me a thrashing tongue lashing harangue
verbal dressing down,
cuz I betrayed lifelong commitment
until death do we part
me uttering sacrosanct words witnessed courtesy
immediate family members

plus justice of the peace
honorable Judge: Henry Schireson
925 Montgomery Avenue, Suite 100
Narberth, Pennsylvania 19072-1913
pledged allegiance, compliance,
exuberance,  obeisance lull
and sacred marital concord
yours truly did not honestly mull
kickstarting promising unswerving monogamy
deserved hypocrite label
coveting, facilitating, indulging,

loving, offering pent housed
****** relief with another woman
nearly did render null
and void marriage pact
flaunted sacred pact
and will (as good as) hang,
which ****** imbroglio,
albeit (nocturnal escapade) did boomerang
in earshot of both
our then young daughters ****** ears,
thus a sudden pang

to exit the scene arose up inside me
courtesy wishful trapdoor to appear suddenly,
(whereby regarding floorboards)
from out mine overactive imagination sprang
open to usher, and/or time travel back
to earlier that fateful night rather than lang
whooshing amidst livid rage
self serving deserved fiery emasculation,
the noose hence I did stage,
experiencing withering, twittering,
snapchatting, kickstarting blistering
expletive laced epithets think
ready to burst pressure cooker
evincing dangerously hot level gauge

driving figurative wedge
between me family
courtesy foaming at the mouth spouse
(of course deux progeny affected)
renting asunder and rendering hollow
thee justice of the peace
gordian tied, uttered,
vouchsafed worded oath I did pledge.

Divorce prematurely *******,
yet instantaneously dismissed
no more pleasant alternative spewed versus
contracting cankerous cyst
analogous to toxic mother
of our two offspring hissed
disparaging me directly linkedin
with promiscuous tryst
besotting me with blackened barbs
me honestly, lamely, meekly
justifying philandering gist,

cuz gal methought
(good idea mister casanova wannabe),
which came as soliloquizing aside
to exchange as bartered bride
thine scorned wife,
who would relentlessly chide
(even long after the day I died)
heard thru tomb harrows coffin

abominable behavior, I do readily admit
figuratively found me electrified
what with raging testosterone nsync with
hormonal secretion my guide
****** gamboling, I chose not to hide
never back once black traipsing inside
double entendre meant
viz yule eyes joyride.

poise zen dystopian rant

This prognosticator doth predict
potential based at current rate
sinister debacle that will
instantaneously annihilate,
United States storied republic,
which alarming horror
points to instantaneous annihilation
of America the beautiful;
(ohm my dog) turbulent
endemic chaotic spate

within human race poised to strike
doom and generate
shock tummy once
amp pull goldenlocks,
now revealing a shiny baldpate
erratic behavior attendant prescient
intimations presage apocalyptic fate
while current commander in chief
didst unwittingly generate,
and sow the seeds of anarchy sparking

global conflagration that will create
instantaneous prime evil
total mortal kombat,
cuz "FAKE" mandate
issued, when Trump went ballistic
loose sing rockets red glare,
when pressing hot button to demonstrate
thermonuclear supremacy,
(albeit a moot point),
would render superfluous need to late

to draft intestate
last (or perchance first, second,
third...) will and testament, tete a tete
perhaps minuscule (nee infinitesimal) bomb
turns out a dud (Amazon, Toys "R" Us
Walmart, or  store
of choice reject) aye narrate
finding Don irate
(blaming "crooked Hillary," democrats,
gumby...yours truly...)

the list goes on, thus no need to iterate,
thus a sudden religious fervor gripped
the wide webbed world
attributing why weapons did not actuate
which found pontiff in high demand
in an attempt to accommodate
frenzied zeal attributing aborted blitzkrieg
to divine intervention with bajillion
talking heads airing where to dedicate
material trappings to indigent, great

full not dead, plus those petty
criminals rightly or wrongly,
the strong arm of
lanced law did incarcerate
bowed down on daily and nightly basis
exploding huzzahs every
human did *******
"not prematurely," where
all walks of life did integrate,
a spontaneous international

utopian revelation awoke
with linkedin diversity to promulgate
protecting the planet took precedence
yea right Matthew Scott - dear mate
only in the context of
this poem I did create
on December twenty third
two thousand eighteen,
and now hemming and hawing
CANNOT wait,

thus conscientious, fractious, and incautious,
members of the electorate
must not shirk their role
as arbiters of life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness
obliging themselves obeisance
to the fifteenth amendment
of the United States Constitution,
which prohibits the federal government
and each state from denying

or abridging a citizen's right to vote
"on account of race, color,
or previous condition of servitude,"
when said legal resolution
ratified on February 3, 1870,
as the third and last
of the Reconstruction Amendments
cuz the wise ghost of Abraham Lincoln
did not procrastinate.

Consider the following
dogmatic, enigmatic, fantastic,
idiotic, jargonistic, kimetic, linguistic,  
narcissistic, opportunistic,
poetic, quixotic, rhapsodistic,
scholastic, transformistic,
universalistic agglomeration
as an abbreviation
overactive imagination
wrought demonic manifestation

unaware reading dictionary
could engender garrison housing
Century 21 ghostly conjuration
paranormal shenanigans this
Lake Wobegon resident
grudgingly attests perturbation
disembodied spirit betook
(analogous to Casper
the friendly ghost)
"FAKE" spooky introduction

primarily cause ethereal
phantom of the opera mine
diaphanous doppelganger actualization
forcing agonizing confrontation
blindly highlighting spectacular illumination
constituting undeniable declaration,
whereby stagnant existence
aligned stark juxtaposition
courtesy faux charade, escapade, facade...,
gimcrackery literary affectation

yielded (still does) negation
to befriend prospective logophile,
essentially begetting immediate amputation
as posited a posteriori said acquisition
regarding, kneading, experiencing...
inclusiveness feeling reviled discrimination
foisted linkedin with nonestablishmentarian
progressive, liberal, agnostic Unitarian
paradigm upbringing birth parents
decreed ideal articulation

to foster independent cogitation
among yours truly, and his two sisters,
at one time felt veneration
marble lustrous bead
felt towards (guess who) second born
only brother gifted with affliction
diagnosed recent as
schizoid personality disorder,
a mental health condition,
whereat emotional affinity

toward kin folk sundered
buzzfeeding self cannibalization
predicated on inchoate
in utero causation
insync with adaptation
(actually Putin on Ritz key conspiracy
incorporating Russian collusion)
in tandem with basket of deplorables
little rock and rolling
witnesses regeneration

frothy heady windblown
dyed in wool Taj Mahal size
pompadour toupee coronation
ego freezing troll defies decapitation
barley bubbling within hopscotching
mucky swamp characterization
capital hillbilly Phoenix
resembling archeopteryx alights
shrill screeching, digging lame talons
into trumpeting paunchy underbelly.

As a hypothetical argument
yours truly doth not aim
to be unfortunate recipient
of misguided, misjudged, and mislaid blame,
nevertheless I make dubious claim
and baldly recede (ha – hair ye, here ye)
from heady assertion
to make bold statement
such that literacy supersedes numeracy,
between said measurable

ambiguous, exiguous, and irriguous
confusing, perplexing, puzzling pillars
of cognitive, demonstrative, emotive,
facilitative, generative... intelligence,
hence not consonant
far from the madding crowd,
until the return of the native
and perchance ludicrous
to some above average dame,
who might be prone to exclaim

contrariwise, and squarely frame
mathematics more powerfully
(id est - greater than)
basically versus stringing words together
yielding cogent, decent,
effulgent, fluent... result
(that may not add up to a hill of beans)
crafting supreme unequaled poem
predicated upon cockamamie scribe,
(one whose unexcusable

laughable puerile mien
modestly trumpeting his outstanding talent,
hence he expects and deserves
posthumous lettered fame),
née, he already
appropriated, leveraged, wielded
volumes of his speculated worthless material
synchronized to be broadcast
immediately upon his demise
(after the grim reaper

steals dem lovely bones
to avoid self embarrassment)
avast treasure trove awaiting
distribution across webbed wide world
(including all manner
of social media platforms)
after discover re:
visa vis artificial intelligence
courtesy agency of smart machine
to custom make similar
facsimile thereof brilliant literature

where good things come to life
to emulate and evoke
mental landscape and thought processes
of one humble human
Matthew Scott Harris
while supremely, soundlessly, seamlessly,
echoing beloved refrains
from computer generated verses
that would be indistinguishable
from Joni Mitchell's
original song titled the circle game.

Yours truly an unfortunate hostage
within **** sapien zoo
presenting poetic hodge podge
and mish mash to you
looking for unwitting subject(s) to woo,
and albeit impossible mission) to free me,
where within human ******* I stew
more specifically mine personally

custom designed invisible
prison self made,
thus wishing to don persona
of such an éminence grise
as Jawaharlal Nehru,
and trumpet courteous helloo
before bidding kith and kin
and fellow humans permanent adieu.

When free and clear out of the blue
methinks I hear a voice
calling me matt chew
which intones do
please try a healthy dose - Mister Fitzhugh,
a Louisiana creole speciality touted
as psychological cureall within Hangzhou
capital of Zhejiang
sheng (province), China

where amidst bustling
businesses as usual
happens to live animated cartoon
caricature, whose modesty peddling
holistic and homeopathic
(interestingly enough) Asian Jew,
who many neighboring residents
thought semitic rapscallion
long in the tooth occupant loo

duck criss cause he exhibited inhibition,
essentially said reprobate a coward,
who didst udder moo
if you dear reader can bull leave,
hence nonestablishmentarian fella
in their (others) netview
hashtagged snake oil salesman
buzzfeeding gullible poo
courtesy legendary secret formula

comprising his mumbo jumbo
chicken gumbo soup,
our mutual friend Dumbo
doth heartily broker
entrancing kickstaring rendezvous
panacea as genuinely true
but aforenamed solitary wordsmith
also incorporates voodoo
to scare away mailer daemons
all the way to Xanadu

located (courtesy Google)
in the modern-day Zhenglan Banner
in inner Mongolia on southeastern edge
of the Mongolian plateau
The city founded as first capital
of Kublai Khan, the leader
of Mongol Borjigin clan
who founded Yuan dynasty that ruled
most of modern-day China,
Korea, and its surrounding areas.

Otherwise wordily titled: pooped out
after pouring bucketfuls of water into
place of ablutions
all the while skipping to my loo
umpteen times courtesy bathtub faucet
turned toward hot temperature
so toilet would finally,
magnificently, and royally flush.

As ofttimes occurred in the past
anonymous reader's time
I once again promise to waste
concerning asinine verbiage
without this bard **** feeling shamefaced
broadcasting his fealty
to posterior predilections must appear
(as rearing to volley rebuttal
against fans of mine) yours truly
ofttimes discusses that byproduct,
which issues out buttucks) narrow-based
if not downright banal, gross, offal... in haste
to craft something more philosophical
how craven ***** talk
whereby theme doth self debase.

I excreted a bowel movement
moments ago today April 11th, 2024
at approximately two thirty post meridian
substantial enough to sink battleship
(maybe ye experienced tsunami after effects)
laboriously dumping bucketfuls of hot water
insync with applying plunger found me a drip
with perspiration, and would have possibly found
site manager and/or maintenance man to flip
(a rare sight to behold

worth inconvenience of clogged toilet bowl),
which yours truly felt strain in back muscles
as he poured bucketfuls of water from his hip
accidentally splashing water
on bathroom floor
yes your honor
(necessitating **** deck to evacuate)
if thee choose to sit in judgeship
but please be mindful
to restrain giving me any lip

cuz atypical dilemma I figuratively did nip
in the bud, yet foresee similar outcome
sure as this...
once upon a sage, rosemary and parsnip
herbaceous generic fellow sought readership
ideally landing webbed wide world trip
heralded all along as a V.I.P.,
where fanfare for this common man
enjoying Appalachian Spring,
would find his doggerel
induced listeners to yip.

Dispense sing with fidelity blithely agog
just me and mine dark shadow
slinking along outer limits of
the edge of night doth blog
passivity, the path
of least resistance ohm my dog,
shocking voltage amply
surges an emphatic YES,
verboten fruit adrip
with succulent juices as eggnog,

a legitimately valid
reason and rhyme to flog
reprobate yours truly
figuratively doth emasculate,
thee catchword to extricate
being emotionally hogtied
warrants immediate attention,
regarding consummating series
of prurient disadvantageous
née self destructive events.
  
The best idea to expound upon,
while attempting creative
exuding genital intonations to jog
all mein kampf,
I felt like a bump on a log
please... don't be hesitant
not to reserve judgement
towards this miscreant husband
whom identifies himself
as a dirt Poe imp of the pervert
analogous to rumpelstiltskin fable

whereby Lothario wannabe
boasts stud deed fallaciousness,
whose noggin of mine
shaped as an egghead
topped off with pinhead blocked nog,
one aging long haired pencil neck geek
never reached maturity forever a pollywog
until froggy went a courtin'
into marital quagmire
woody ******* did slog.

More clearly, plainly and succinctly,
one groveling, non-feeling, and sniveling
poor excuse for masculinity,
(and upstanding laughingstock
regarding spindleshanks),
I continually experience
unrepentant (unforgivable)
humility, futility, and disrepectability
hence lame justification
Matthew Scott Harris
sought adultery, cuckoldry, effrontery...,
which unwise choices attempted
(pun intended) to fill a void

****** propensity linkedin with precepts
attributed courtesy Sigmund Freud,
though skepticism skirted
shirked getting caught red handed
sneaky shenanigans employed
barenaked lady ******* psychoanalysis
downplayed, or Oedipus complex
shrugged off Fountainhead (heavier imposition
versus Atlas shrugged) fails to bridge
(do not as Kwai)
any heavy mettle alloyed
within me psyche,
and windmills of my mind.

Handy dandy blues clues
existential mid life crisis
lacked absolute zero justification
why yours truly fraught
with hormonal secretion
embarked on warpath for concupiscence
gallivanting, frolicking, engineering
foot loose and fancy free
sabotaged matrimonial covenant,
whereby I regularly posted and answered

personal classified advertisement
with popular Craigslist website,
thus no surprise when presto digitation,
I met gal headquartered
in Coatesville or Downingtown;
she drove to Evansburg State Park
rearing to tame bucking bronco (me)
quashing, invalidating, contravening...
conjugal contractual obligation
renting asunder mine vocalized vow

to remain faithful thru thick and/or thin
seeking alternative ******* opportunity
feeble minded excuse
regarding irreconcilable differences
a vague catchall phrase
antithetical contrary to pledged troth,
embarking on maiden voyage
nsync with barenaked lady
partaking moist and meaty tender vittles.

I feebly attempted to compensate  
for dearth of absent teenage
Ninja mutant turtles
reptile brain and brawn bravado
investigated dating app experiences,
thus violated wedded vow think tryst
I yearned, trended and jump/kick started
Casanova paramour wannabe
years later subsequently
regretted quintessentially philandering

utterly disgusted at my illicit behavior
and negligence neglecting
attentiveness to offspring and spouse
forswore doting upon then
high school age daughters,
rightfully thee eldest one
(born 12/22/1996) still ******
and compromised, jeopardized,
and undermined paternal priority spawning
selfish prurient dalliances,

I das scribe, how now
brown cow objectionable
frolicking courtesy Sly
And The Family Stone
payback a *****, cuz
I feel in funky (flunky) mood,
verses when scads of Earth orbitz ago,
(round about January
two thousand and ten)
he profusely kissed

mouth of other voluptuous
(zoftig) older women
(consensually, flatteringly, indiscriminately)
and amazingly, kindly, thankfully... enough
in due time spouse did willingly insist
to forgive, boot never forget
long since discounting
divorce from wife
nevertheless, remaining thermally uncoupled
mandated unconditional armistice

eventually note hissed
matter of fact I dreamt
at time these lines penned
(then earlier today that May twenty ninth
two thousand and twenty two), the gist
regarding soldier of self made misfortune
toying and tinkering harming self
casually eyed sharp pointed objects
offered especial attraction
pondering hoop fully connive fist

(cuffed) around handles of cutlery
at primal, gonadal,
and brutal predilections
now... finding very little reason to exist,
hence understandably dissed
(until death do me part)
unbridled love and apology
toward thee missus and progeny,
who forever did blacklist
writ blood ginned curses
with will.i.am blackened barbs.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
thus very little paternal
(filial) love expressed
and she chose to live yonder
Oakland, California
her then temporary dwelling
no matter, her papa
blatantly confessed depravity
YES, more'n his eye did wonder.

At present petty coated junction
non petty irreparable schism
doth rank as horrendous
on par me adopting fascism
forever sullied image ("daddy's girl"),
who once thought the world of me
selfish misdeeds done dirt cheap
buzzfeeding swelling egoism
no more how enlightened I became

ex post facto, pure unconditional acceptance
refracted light risqué behavior thru prism
where primary parental accountability
not satisfactorily explained away courtesy
Darwinism (to con seed genes), nor chauvinism,
whereby ever since time immemorial
repentance will forever be belabored
by me flagrantly disregarding monogamy
courtesy hardened libido
making mockery and travesty marital covenant.

The following words crafted soon after the soul of me daddy set adrift into the empyrean realm joining the rank and file of entities constituting spiritus mundi.

Borne aloft into the netherland
the body bearing thee soul  
of Boyce Brandon Harris
birth name given to my late father
buoyed into the great beyond
united with spirit
of mine late mother Harriet,
whose passing well nigh nineteen
orbitz of the earth around the sun.

Elysian fields embraced dada's soul
which rocketed into aerospace
(courtesy General Electric satellite)
just a tadpole more than three
earth orbitz and a half years ago,
when venerated, loved,
and celebrated then nonagenarian
on par with jumping frog
of calaveras county,  
(whose captor disguised
as toad tilly grim reaper)
went a courtin for fresh corpse,
nevertheless melancholy
still plucks mine heart strings.

Mine psyche still situated awry
placid countenance of yours truly doth belie
residual sadness easily prompted
can easily trigger me to cry
linkedin when grim reaper gloated
October 7th, 2020,
he did somewhat peacefully die
(courtesy congestive heart failure),
though methinks immortality
I did briefly espy,
when miracles of modern medicine
tried, but could not
stave off mortality nor fortify
depredations of aging concerning
one (back during his boyhood)
a wunderkind, whose accomplishments
evinced a lad who pulled out all the stops
laudatory when a young handsome guy,
whose intelligence scored high
native talent aptitude tests did imply,
an august presence
his person, especially birthday celebrated,
lorded over, regaled and touted
like fourth of July
completely unlike yours truly
pitifully jejune existence well nigh.

The late polymath and scientifically astute
Boyce Brandon Harris
exhibited prolific talents at young age
aside being scholastically gifted,
acquiring graduate degree
courtesy Columbia University,
freshly minted mechanical engineer,
(he admirably ranked within
uppermost percentile academically),
I hashtag thy mine deceased father
(a Renaissance man
- jack-of-all-trades),
who possessed (née excelled)
at diverse creative abilities.

Aside from being schooled
as mechanical engineer,
(which courses in mathematics and science
he passed with flying colors)
his mind genetically bequeathed
to craft almost anything under the sun
evidenced first by yours truly,
the second offspring and sole son
who ofttimes felt intimidated
at being in presence
of said versatile person.

Handicrafts included
expending blood, sweat, and tears
coercing, fabricating, invoking
earth, wind, and fire elements of style
to craft multitude of projects;
i. building me Flintstone (foot powered)
car with wooden license plate

ii. making playhouse for all three
of us - his progeny;
iii. amassing wood pile(s)
to stoke wood burning stoves;
iv. designing Zayda trail
for Teddy and Ruff
(two doggone mixed breed Border Collies

rescued courtesy youngest sister
at her Jacobsburg,
Pennsylvania work site);
v. constructing sauna in cellar;
vi. etching, detailing (al fresco);
vii. plus trimming living room ceiling
with dainty crown moulding;

viii. shingling (while fiddling) on the roof;
ix. tiling the kitchen floor;
x. building a cistern for brethren,
xi. wood paneling many rooms;
xii. building custom made toy chest;
xiii. stringing up lights to increase visibility
driveway lit like Christmas tree after dark;

xiv. partly assembled a kayak;
xv. Rehabilitated derelict houses
in Norristown, Pennsylvania
xvi. retooling - enhancing porch
with tiles (formerly slate covered),
where Morris dancers performed
at wedding for eldest sister.

Unlike him who did beget me,
I experienced cognitive challenges
that beset one painfully shy
and severely introverted male
more to the point
as a lad and mediocre student to boot
promotion to next highest grade
occurred just by the skin of my teeth
and analogously, figuratively, and poetically
nearly shaved née scalped,
butchered of me pilgrim's pride

thankfully peach fuzz bewhiskered
fine hairs of my chinny chin chin,  
staved off retention
never forcing me to repeat a grade,
which may help to explain
why I wear dentures,
oh... these choppers
then worn for about
one eighth of mein kampf livingsocial.

A sense of inadequacy prevailed,
when absolute zero self esteem
strikingly and suddenly manifested
in tandem when parents moved
their young tender family within
Lower Providence School District,
but into a vaunted larger house
(initial summer estate constituted
about one hundred acres of woodland -
named Glen Elm
think Winnie the Pooh -
house at Pooh corner).

Not quite two score plus ten years
spent livingsocial at 324 Level Road
(above mentioned abode alluded),
and twas there majority
mine existential highs and lows,
where nadir of mein kampf transpired,
I emotionally hit rock bottom
upon onset of prepubescence
yet major event triggering
mine major depression
set in motion,
when parents chose February 28th, 1968
to move out of shoddily constructed domicile
located on Lantern Lane.

As shared with Renee Cardone,
(the therapist whose virtual sessions
linkedin courtesy Doxy.me portal -
similar to Zoom),
that aforementioned date
marked a turning point
after which time, I floundered
experienced irrevocable mental health issues
punctuating my psychological equilibrium
with chronic distress,
though I forgive father and mother,
who unwittingly made decision
how uprooting their offspring
to move without consulting
either yours truly, or older
and younger sisterly sibling.

Psyche wracked with agony
impossible mission to extricate lovely bones
they wanna remain permanently abed.

I chiefly function to amass knowledge
courtesy assiduously, habitually,
and judiciously reading
an eclectic assortment of written material.

Yours truly woke
with ambition, disposition,
inclination, and predilection
to glean from an assortment
of books esoteric learning
since... birth, but particularly
when experiencing emerging adulthood
about two score years ago.

Feeble attempt crafting poetry
whereat gobbledygook doth trot -
oven chilly cooked confusion eliciting
faint thanks a lot
unbeknownst this tasteless,
senseless, rhymeless... lettered
Rorschach test tease I jot
interpretation, viz hitting
analogously like amorphous melted ingot
watch yourself...

d's lines iz still smok'n HOT,
now I puzzle regarding how
to extricate mess elf,
cuz aye got myself
into try'n to strut and trumpet
hightailing (courtesy Google)
searching information superhighways
one can cyber surf to Hong Kong,
(a coastal city and major port
in Southern China,

bordering Guangdong Province
through the city of Shenzhen
to the north and the South China Sea
to the east, south, and west)
an entrepôt, (which goods brought
for import and export,
and for collection and distribution)
yea, that autonomous enclave
the region inhabited since
the Old Stone Age,

later becoming part
of the Chinese Empire
with loose incorporation
into the Qin dynasty
initially starting out
as a farming fishing village
and salt production site,
it became an important free port
governed by Chief Executive,
who serves as premier of the Region

and head of government
of Hong Kong
beholden to The Basic Law
which designates a system of governance
led by a Chief Executive
and an Executive Council,
under principles of separation of powers,
with a two-tiered system
of semi-representative government
and an independent judiciary.

Anyway... when zombie like,
and hyper aware
about mein kampf,
and lxv roaming years
exhibiting conscious state
(although that might be debatable),
I try to dead reckon eyes
purposefulness astride oblate spheroid
nsync with other gals and guys
either one, t'other or all
mask cue lated in disguise

impossible mission to triangulate
Euclid say logic defies
to comprehend gibberish,
no matter how much you scrutinize
his highness, qua shape
shifting imperfect square stumps
any tree mend us great mind to analyze
me skewering, marinating, gunning... decries
abiding any logical positivism
queries best addressed to Lord of the Flies
since nary handy dandy blues clues,

I opted out thus...
******* provided to synthesize
random words helter skelter
strewn to symbolize
absent any rhyme or reason
courtesy handy matted figurative
trapezoid doth employ
no paradigm to exercise
leaving comprehension after mine demise
so go ahead chastise
cuz I already know,
never will said poetry win apprize.

Initially, an attempt
sought regarding Das scribe,
yours truly donning
checkerboarded rawhide
collared, cuffed oversize raiment, pride
and prejudice obscured
courtesy hand-me-downs
couture also decking out
alley oop trapeze artist bride
of Frankenstein grooming in attendance
with her bonafide
circus motley crew, a veritable
monster mish mashup
happenstance didst decide
unlike traditional feted newlyweds
swingers airborne did only abide.

The law of gravity aerial
pas de deux bodies airborne
aloft pledging their respective troths sworn
fleeting suspended animation while shorn
infinitesimally of Earth's pull
only expert can playfully scorn
accomplishment courtesy no greenhorne
neophytes in utero umbilical cord,
taking root as metaphorical acorn,
thus unbridled and groomed skill inborn
burst out the womb like heated popcorn
snapped up since birth well worn
genes Ringling Brothers and
Barnum & Bailey circus practiced morn
till night stunts became second nature
encore performance
no matter bodies outworn.

Curtain Call now doth close
unrehearsed poetic gambit,
cuz yours truly tuckered out I suppose
ready to take his doze
zee dough into dreamland, expose
zing oft times confused
with dark shadows of outer limits
of twilight zone,
where me lovely bones froze
where sudden night mare arose
gripping courtesy rigor mortis head to toes
daunting wordsmith champion
manifestation of daily woes.

Suddenly me clutched
by melancholic despair
somnambulantly where
countless tomb morrows *****
scarcely undifferentiated
from yesterday's care
wracking psyche with wrath plus fear
at accursed purposelessness near
faux sing myself regarding pas
city to emulate good cheer
whereat time and tide
wait for no man/woman.