Methought to borrow
(oh alright call call a ***** a *****)
I took recourse and did lyft
(hook, line and sinker)
this Übermensch originally described
by Nietzsche in
Thus Spake Zarathustra (1883–85)  
and fervently prayed
(plus preyed like a bird of prey
upon a poem yours truly i.e. me made,
a direct ploy to access Jetsonmade
poem that hopefully makes the grade
halfway thru 2025th second decade,
and no, the fall equinox not the same as autumn; rather vernal equinox linkedin to the astronomical beginning of autumn in the Northern Hemisphere. Autumn equals the entire season, while the fall equinox constitutes a specific moment—the day when the sun crosses the celestial equator, resulting in nearly equal amounts of daylight and darkness worldwide.

But first etymological climatological meteorological esoterica from our sponsor:

The word autumn (/ˈɔːtəm/) is derived from Latin autumnus, archaic auctumnus, possibly from the ancient Etruscan root autu-and has within it connotations of the passing of the year. Alternative etymologies include Proto-Indo-European *h₃ewǵ- ("cold") or *h₂sows- ("dry").

If you reside in the Eastern time zone, then fall officially begins at 2:19 PM., local time. The start of fall will be at 1:19 p.m. in the Central time zone, 12:19 p.m. in the Mountain time zone and 11:19 a.m. in the Pacific time zone.

Despite twittering, uber
sputtering kickstarting lyft
onset of cool weather
argh, another brief daily spate
re: forecasting blistering,
nauseating, sweltering...
ninety degree plus Fahrenheit
temperature forecast
(along eastern seaboard)
courtesy mister summer,
who will overstay his welcome
hoop fully a more seasonable
cooling trend rounds out ninth month
(according to Gregorian calendar).

The above lines crafted
when poetic endeavor
herewith follows tapped out
across qwerty keyboard
when this poem initially written
at least one earth orbit ago.

I eagerly looked forward
to crisp refreshing air
much more comfortable
to weather being outdoors
within/out this sequestered enclave
postage stamp size geographical area
offers respite versus metropolitan
denser population centers,
the former disappearing open space
rather disheartening, but urbanization -

purportedly the definition of progress
finds once open farmland
more than fifty plus years back
crumbling barns now tombstones
testimony when people
farmed the land, and lived
linkedin with rhythms of nature,
which only found courtesy said vestiges
inevitably razed (similar to boyhood home

324 Level Road) finds yours truly
brooding fast paced instant
credit karma gratification
twenty first century, which
small, medium forces at large
outfox the time tested imprimatur
i.e. latent powers planet Earth
unleashes (thank you global warming)
decrees final curtain call.

**** sapiens runs rampant
wreaking havoc all points of moral compass
already inundated with scorching,
melting ice caps, flooding...
future generations, yet unborn
might avoid predicated on
dramatic alternatives fossil fuels
already showered Gaia
with carbon dioxide
as well other noxious poisons
though vibrant advocacy
evident among students

vocally demonstrating against
irrevocable damage, whereby environment
and countries situated
near sea level take heavy hit,
nonetheless... cautious optimism flickers
inducing mandatory one hundred eighty degree
reorientation regarding eco friendly
methodologies to lo mein, maintain,
sustain... technological civilization,
else quaint existence of thee
will be read about
in digitized history books.

Consider the following rambling missive a hybrid
with little or no idea, how when fingers of mine
pressed keys of their own volition,
I just sat back at enjoyed the evolution
and genesis of some extemporaneous
manifestation of culling out the essence
to make a feeble attempt at enlightening
the unsuspecting reader, who undoubtedly
cursed me up and down
the information superhighway
strewn with the detritus of absolute zero
sense and sensibility
engendering pride and prejudice
just book haws a figurative
flash in the pan yielded
prolific gibberish, an exercise
in writing stream of consciousness
just for the sake of loosing whimsical
thoughts that darted to and fro
hither and yon
within the creases and folds
at my laughable tabled contents
within me noggin.

Though not in the market to purchase additional computers (actually thoughts arose about upgrading from the Macbook Pro - MacBook Pro (Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015), Processor - 2.2 GHz Quad-Core Intel Core i7, Memory -16 GB 1600 MHz DDR3, and methinks there might be the onset and basic manifestations of electronic version of alzheimer, Graphics - Intel Iris Pro 1536 MB, Serial Number -  - C02RR71SG8WN) since becoming aware the McAfee Virus protection cannot be upgraded due to the age of said laptop, but chronic fraudulent sabotage with Citizens Bank checking accounts compromised my meager funds, (I feel paranoid and unfairly targeted) necessitates immediate resolution (maybe even seriously considering fomenting a revolution number 9 as a tribute to the late John Lennon) as priority number one bumping aside any consideration to upgrade to a newer Apple product (preferably another MacBook Pro), and bitta bing bitta bang a fellow resident here at Highland Manor Apartments sold me an IPad for fifty dollars.

Hence what else to do about being at the receiving tight end and being bandied around like a football, (videlicet a series of bank fraudulent unfortunate events) that I experienced time and again than whip up some stock in trade literary reaction visited in the form as a recurring theme about finances that frankly find me getting zapped with one or more perpetrator's zeal and ardor, forcing me to become one among legion of the ******, foo fighting, beastie boy spontaneous ******* sans prose or poetic palaver as a freshly minted sexagenarian made to suffer chronic impecuniousness while cyber crooks embezzled money from me not less than a half dozen times, a once upon a time little pipsqueak, who grew up to become a bigger accursed pipsqueak, which farrago written by a resident of Fargo, North Dakota, a long days journey into night from Lake Wobegon central Minnesota the mecca for Norwegian Bachelor farmers, who grew sturdy and tall courtesy Powder Milk Biscuits.

I alternate between punching (while perched on my high horse) out poems for no particular rhyme nor reason, but predicated on the sheer joy of English language (some in fact unbelievably based on a kernel of fact), or spinning yarns with a similar proportion of embellishment er...um... fiction, but my oh my would Mark Twain be proud of me, I who humbly claim to be genealogically linkedin courtesy siblings descendent of his sisters and brothers, who lived long enough to bare witness to offspring living well into the nineteenth century despite evidence to the contrary.

If as fervent and avid an interest in rhetoric, literature, grammar gripped me analogous to a vice during my salad days, I without a shadow of a doubt - (herewith Punxatawney would  and could only envy) can easily envision myself having breathed in one after storied author from time immemorial until the then present, (or even what scholars then considered contemporary), which time frame bracketed between early to late twentieth century. How the futurists of my hay-day would no doubt marvel at how the fourth technological The Fourth Industrial Revolution (4IR), or Industry 4.0, counts as the current technological era defined by the fusion of physical, digital, and biological systems, driven by technologies like Artificial Intelligence, Internet of Things (IoT), and robotics rapidly building on the digital advances of the Third Industrial Revolution, this era witnesses rapidly changing how we live, work, and relate to each other by merging technologies and creating intelligent, interconnected systems punctuated by Key technologies include AI, robotics, 3D printing, biotechnology, and cloud computing, which are transforming industries, creating smart factories, and blurring the lines between human and machine.

Though a biological product of the baby boomer generation, a hankering and pressing nostalgia finds sentiments of mine linkedin to a time and place that maybe never existed except within the flights of fancy that flourished within the the average adult human brain weighs about 3 pounds (1.3 to 1.4 kg) and encompasses a volume of roughly 1,260 to 1,300 cubic centimeters (cm³) and generally about the size of two clenched fists and makes up approximately 2% of total body mass, and somewhere within the convolutions of various tissues, primarily specialized nervous tissue that includes neurons and glial cells, as well as connective tissues, blood vessels, and other supportive structures that form the complex ***** known as the brain.

These days approximately three score and six (versus four score and seven) orbitz around the sun the lightspeed of time elapses within a blink of an eye as I clock one revolution after another, a stunned disbelief finds me shell shocked how my sixty sixth year slipped away qua half way thru the second decade of the twenty first century, and hence I experience the status of outlier (cue Unitarian, nonestablishmentarian, latitudinarian, et cetera characteristics) averse to depersonalization tricked out as digitization, mechanization, and (supposedly modernization making humans free and clear of time consuming physical labor), I lament never growing up off the grid.

Stamina of mine slowly ebbing away
covenant to join Silver Sneakers
(at the Spring Valley Y.M.C.A.) I did betray
procrastinator's motto
my lame excuse and well worn cliché
why do today what I can put of until tomorrow
tempus fugit waits for no mortal
nor can one stave
off grim reaper without delay
no fancy feast doth he desire
only human flesh he foremost craves
analogous to a cannibal
most sought after entrée
freshly lovely bones applying scythe
helps mastication while subject
laid out and prepared as fillet
past juncture to negotiate and gainsay
further tenure on par with Methuselah,
which longevity would be reason
to celebrate without following mandates
and just the mere freedom
to shrug off codas
brings occasion to exclaim hooray
adamantly averse to passive role
writing according to establishment
any conventions such as
some types of poetry
with strict rules include the sonnet,
villanelle, sestina, haiku, and ghazal
though predisposed to avoid extremist measures
such incorporating agents provocateur
I honestly believe evolution of creation
when one can calmly, clearly, and cooly inveigh
towards and YES sacrificing
an innocent child such as Jonbonnet,
or accursed white supremacists such as the KKK
violently drag-queens such as men
who attire and don couture
exposing muscular legs
courtesy form fitting lingerie
or perchance just barely
covering effeminate and/or
exposing male reproductive features
knot caring about exposing flesh
thru meshed gaps between exotic macramé
but never would a bachelor farmer from Norway
attire himself and advertise his package
that obviously doth outweigh
the average size pecker
among the male population of Paraguay
only the young studs
flashing lithe bodies
while lying supine on a quai
while innocent bystanders
admired and oogled
while beach bums engrossed
reading the genre writing of François Rabelais
where on the boardwalk
an enterprising piano player
tickled the ivory of a Steinway,
which lyrics interestingly enough
made reference to the battle of Thermopylae
a famous battle in 480 BC;
a Greek army under Leonidas
annihilated by the Persians,
who were trying to conquer Greece,
but luckily got blown off course to Uruguay.

and a lesson about pi (π) to boot
whether or not you give a hoot
and thee never foresaw
that above identified representation
would be incorporated
with poetry until yours truly
came into the scene,
but similar to the importance of pi (π)
thee my cannot escape
the omnipresent application
of valuable tidbit
unless of course we make a deal,
whereat you fork over so much loot,
but knowing that thee author of these words
will NOT be writhing in cognitive dissonance,
as he claims to do one action,
but ***** nilly does another
just like impossible mission
to escape the notion of square root,
WHAT, who do you think you might be kidding,
and pass up a golden opportunity
to wreak havoc
within noggin of anonymous sufferer
who will NOT be radical
and expound with gumption
upon the √ symbol,
(neither fat nor slim chance
yours truly – me will let thee
off the hook without eating my words,
especially feeling thee
squirming within mine grasp)
used to denote square root or nth roots,
whereby square root a number
that, when multiplied by itself,
produces a given number
illustrated by following example,
whereat the square root of 9 equals 3
because 3 multiplied
by itself (3 x 3) equals 9,
and square root operation
the inverse of squaring a number.

Not a single person "discovered" pi;
rather, the mathematical constant π (pi)
recognized and approximated independently
by mathematicians across different cultures
and time periods
from ancient Greeks,
including Archimedes,
who developed sophisticated geometrical methods
to approximate pi's value,
characterized as essential for practical
and theoretical applications, whereas
later mathematicians,
such as the Chinese scholar Zu Chongzhi,
built upon these methods
to achieve even greater accuracy.

Once again for the umpteenth time
like an awful nightmare
recurring like non-repeating decimal
such as pi (π) ala mode - ha,
the unchanging mathematical constant
represents ratio of a circle's circumference
(the distance around it) to diameter
(the distance across it through the center),
and no matter the size of the circle,
said ratio always the same,
approximately 3.14159,
NOT the value of 22/7
above denoted fraction
represents commonly used
rational approximation for π
an infinite, non-repeating number
called an irrational number
and because illustrious symbol
ranks as an irrational number,
the decimal representation
goes on infinitely
without any repeating pattern,
unlike rational numbers,
which have decimals
that either terminate
(like 1/4 = 0.25) or repeat
in a predictable sequence
(like 1/3 = 0.333...),
pi's digits never settle
into finite mathematical arrangement
unlike male pattern baldness.

Now if you will politely excuse
I need to contact all vendors/
merchants linkedin to newest card
in order update payment method
within a timely fashion
after substantial balance
in new account adequate
lest necessary products and services
brought to a crashing halt.

The list of agencies that warrant
urgent and immediate attention
at the mercy of bank colleague
gohar dot mukhtarzada at sign
citizensbank dot com,
and for ease of sparing
getting the client
(such as myself in this case),
she refers to herself as Jojo,
and now I feel linkedin at her mercy
since issues regarding fraud,
and squaring away
closing one checking account
and creating a new one,
the domain within her expertise,
and must wait until Monday September 22nd
two thousand and twenty five
before tending to the adventurous, enormous,
fortuitous, gracious, humungous,
illustrious, judicious, onerous,
and tedious task more difficult
than threading a camel
thru the eye of a (quite sizable) needle
(been there done that).

Truth be told after
the unwelcome webbed,
wide world series of unfortunate events
(where checking account subjected
to fraudulent activity
to the tune of thousands of dollars,
(or try whistling said statement to Dixie),
no matter how many time
user name and password change –
the virtual interloper stealthily robbed me
prodding one angry as a red bull netizen
to culminate notifying the billing office
(if unable or unwilling
to tackle the task of replacing
vis a vis modus operandi
with fresh spanking new debit card),
yet completing the process
for countless websites
linkedin with revised payment method
could almost be done
when asleep with hands
tied behind my back.

"Criminally insane" is an informal term for someone found not guilty of a crime due to a mental disease or defect at the time of the offense, meaning they lacked the mental capacity to understand their actions were wrong or to control them. This legal concept, also known as an insanity defense, varies by jurisdiction but generally requires the defendant to have a severe mental impairment that prevented them from having the required "guilty mind" (mens rea).

My doppelganger ranks as the criminally insane prodigal son

thank dog, I never spent time in a mental ward
hyperbole utilized for sole purpose
of my loving and undying devotion,
nor could yours even imagine
when conjectured explored
of fictitious stanzas,
such a ridiculous and far fetched notion.

just for the hypothetical
scenario of this digitally folded,
mutilated and spindled quatrain
their sole son always appeared singularly wired,
(and said singular male heir) criminally insane
both parents of mine
met their demise and expired.

yet their invisible presence forever and anon
infiltrates mine subconscious during deep sleep
who trumpets these lines,
years since they both be gone
out of the grave their lovely bones
would rattle and hum,
who no longer doth weep.

I write virtually tongue in cheek
gallows humor about
grateful dead father and mother
once upon a time
yours truly a pencil necked geek
once upon same time mad as a hatter
toward them cause
they never gave me a brother.

misunderstandings there happened to be quite a few
foremost ofttimes raging against me
about getting a job
completely baffled and irate
with their emotionally afflicted adult son
with nary a handy dandy blues clue
threatening with one ultimatum after another to wit:
staying in my bedroom,
where I imagined myself to be a heart-throb.

in reality a friendless boy,
then adolescent, and later in life a no where man
imagining quaffing draught videre licet
an electric kool aid acid test and passive resistor,
who daily day dreamt
about being abducted
by aliens flash in the pan
to escape an untenable reality
envying my younger sister.

whose fancy free
and foot loose modus operandi
she aced all classes
both in high school and college at Antioch
to date witnessed her to date being a globe trotter,
who met and eventually married a counterpart
she met at Young's Regency,
a roller skating rink he's nick named Andy,
who regularly drove to Yellowsprings, Ohio
from Southeastern Montgomery County,
Pennsylvania, which place
ain't exactly around the block.

meanwhile, I whiled precious time away
feigning seeking employment,
but actually reading
on the roof of boyhood house,
or sought seclusion at a nearby park
envisioning existence as Huckleberry Finn,
when in reality days of my life
as the webbed wide world turned
rank culled as passé.

a more relevant fantasy
finds me comfortably ensconced
in tree house squirreled away
acknowledged as poet laureate
living loving writing for money
which in conjunction
with social security disability
helps me get out of debt
impecunious no more
and being sought out
to collaborate with Bad Bugs Bunny.

Who asks the rhetorical question
what's up doc?

Into an inescapable
invisible net watery entrapment wove
ransacking access to treasure trove
compromising, jack-knifing,
and zapping diversity,
equity and integrity
grooming yours truly
into unbridled total lit Aryan  
of minimum headroom,
a webbed wide whitened world
spun me nippy nap noopy
until woozy with dizzy spells
pitched me body sky-high
analogous to being tossed
on par with a Mattie Mattel doll
or like a tempest in a teapot
indiscriminately flailing me courtesy
the tempestuous seas by jove
from wuthering heights hove
and immediately found me plummeting
slamming me mercilessly likened
to a crash test dummy into troughs
upon saturating me despite
wearing layers of clothing and armor,
including an arming doublet or gambeson
as an under-layer,
a mail hauberk or full plate armor,
and a cloth surcoat over the mail
to display mine coat of arms,
and protect the metal from the sun,
yet escutcheon coat of arms
bore the brunt of whiplashing
withstood the ceaseless bashing
now cue In Greek mythology,
Typhon (or Typhoeus)
the monstrous giant,
and the personification of violent storms
nonstop breaking fast
devastating onslaught of pounding
analogous to frenzied
bay city roller coaster fiend
uber towering, hash-tagging,
and similar to battering ram
videlicet pitting humungous
wall of water drove,
where tsunami swept me from above
spitting mine lovely bones
upon a deserted island.

To remedy a fate worse than death,
or orange hair oaf at date
of original date
crafting manuscript then becoming
forty seventh president,
or contracting one
of several viral diseases named pox
permeate heavy shut tight door
with numerous deadbolts
and sophisticated locks
and impossible mission to out fox
analogous to roach infestation,
who favor nesting within custom made
Roper men's shoes brand name Docks.

Upon prima facie first blush
me mind's eye all atwitter,
sans long forgotten
"FAKE" ****** exploits
set mum (chrysos anthem) all aglitter,
boot like short order cook I hapt tubby
quickly realized trumpeting collusion,
a near fatal collision course
with Das scribe's antimatter
caw zing friggin insomnia
finding ma noggin scrambled
likesome lithesome cockamamie critter
whipped into frenzy
like battered butter
holy grits, alm manned
in fight of ma life
cause I haint acquitter
baa (jaw edge), ah woe – cup
early this morning feeling
hedged hog extremely bushed 'n bitter,
this raging red bull inside me mind,
now body wheeling wickety wack,
lichen to moss elf gut seasonal litter
bitta asthma - insides
got balled into wah racket
like quietly rioting unfetter
herd plain tennis (see) hens,
gone south tub bespatter
ear hilly jawboning jabberwocky
reducing gray matter,
and all flesh sundered
into meaty platter
to pulverized, irradiated,
cremated... faux fluffernutter batter
analogous tummy Aunt
Jemima's famous flapjacks,
she fantastically fashioned better
than Betty Crocker
tossing spatulated glommed
**** suitable as bonesetter
high as the Taj Mahal,
while she merrily jabbered,
her native patois singsong blatter
all this inaudible clatter
muffled 10,000 maniacs mad as a hatter
madly clangorous dinner cowbells
aroused bacchanalian sybaritic skitter
ring jitterbugging fantasies
of barenaked ladies doth splutter
as bedraggled, frazzled, grizzled...poetry
like cocky rooster that did stutter!

where the grateful dead undergo cremation
corpse paid for courtesy the government,
but crematoriums that house cremator
of late popular and dime a dozen
as an eco-friendly solution
versus a lifeless body once electric
enclosed within a casket,
which gets buried
in the hallowed ground,
where grave markers hint
that greensward constituting a cemetery
requires maintenance costs,
and said consecrated ground
unavailable for other purposes,
aside from the costs materials
used to manufacture the coffin.

I will not be buried in the ground,
whereby the government,
a doctor, medical examiner,
or coroner must fill out a medical certificate
regarding cause of death
pays heed over my dead body
to yours truly (me),
who ofttimes feels like an extraterrestrial
born in the wrong century and country,
prompting me to expostulate “I don’t belong here”
nor any place for that matter.

Herewith ****** - horn trumpets
and warns others to beware strumpets
beguiling celibate men (with dormant libido)
to be on the lookout
courtesy vestal virgins blowing their flumpets
plying to proffer hallucinogenic
laced appetite for consumption crumpets.

While stupefied after nibbling tasty morsel
redolent of classic raw bits and powder milk biscuits
tastefully advertised on The Prairie Home Companion,
who created and hosted courtesy Garrison Keillor.

Ingenious radio program gifting avid listeners
videlicet live radio variety show
A Prairie Home Companion starting in 1974
after covering the Grand Ole Opry
for The New Yorker magazine.

Anyway, I genuinely apologize
letting tangential threads,
(albeit the above brainchild
vis a vis Garrison Keillor)
getting me off figurative track
about being duped
into suffering castration
(act of surgically
removing the testicles - ouch)!

While heavily sedated
purportedly in preparation
regarding necessary treatments
linkedin to preliminary procedures
prior to dental implants
such as bone grafting
or tooth extractions,
and a focus on excellent oral hygiene
to prevent infection
post dental implants
anesthesia found the so called "patient"
subsequently spellbound,
when under the aegis
of an oral and maxillofacial surgeon,
(the reputable Asian Doctor Gum Gang),
and assisted by the daughters
of the sea god Phorcys
or of the river god Achelous
by one of the Muses Sirens
(enchanting but dangerous allure,
a seductive temptress
whose beauty and charm
are irresistible but also perilous),
I come to from a vivid dream
and just before a scalpel
and other standard surgical instruments
positioned just over male genitals
ready to make the first cut,
I summon forth cojones,
and shake off the effects of an awful dream!

Person of interest linkedin
with Stash Capital Management...
committed bank fraud,
and if witness to such thievery
stun gun of mine drawed,
which word archaic
or nonstandard past tense of draw,
(I would make exception
if perpetrator knock out broad
asking such out of character
to at the least buy me supper),
and retrieved from her bag of tricks
ranging from physical devices
that steal card information
to malicious software
that targeted online
checking account of mine
feverishly employed (courtesy
sophisticated state of the art
computer hardware and/or soft-ware,
whether solitary lone wolf,
hacker collective or group,
or more specifically a hacktivist collective,
cybercriminal group,
or state-sponsored group (like APT groups),
nevertheless whether culprit acted alone
perhaps to impress geek squad
or maybe punk created for extra credit
accessing their own innovation
or thru the agency of groupthink
pulled off an electronic heist courtesy
when he/she they/them
went blithely cruising along viz -
(short for "videlicet,"
which comes from
the Latin phrase "videre licet,"
meaning "it is permitted to see)"
the information super highway
the figurative bottom line
being intent to inflict shell-shock
with cake-walk ease
pre-meditated or acted out ad-hoc
to withdraw and exhaust account,
no matter impossible mission
fraught with peril he/she hell-bent
to extract every last red cent
personal or quota established among posse
set their sites to undertake
what would rank to them
as an every day event
no matter novelty wore off
after initial initiation
to apply malicious codified
byte size criminal activity
bitta bing bitta bang and expedite
just a routine unauthorized use
of a computer or network
to take property,
obtain property through deceit,
or manipulate digital information
for personal gain or to cause damage
explicit singular ***** deed done dirt cheap
illicit complicity among gang members
earns collective figurative stars and stripes
despite humdrum hitting virtual pay dirt frequent
car - reed out videlicet reputable maverick
or notorious den of thieves
celebration of natural high
compounded by assistance
from storied legend of Molly Hatchet
wreaking invisible havoc
among telecommunications infrastructure,
especially hi-jacking kick as*
payload after breaking
user name and password
or stealthily getting hold
of credit card information
also known as skimming,
the act of using illegal devices
or software to secretly capture financial data
from credit cards, debit cards,
or PINs during legitimate transactions,
and on the sly (and the ****** family)
criminals install physical devices on ATMs,
gas pumps, or POS terminals
to steal card information
from the magnetic stripe,
or use cameras and overlay keypads
to capture PINs
also using malicious software,
known as e-skimmers,
to capture payment details
from online forms, which stolen data
then used to make fake cards
or conduct unauthorized
purchases and withdraw cash,
leading to financial loss
and identity theft for victims.

whereat the subsequent lines
lack any relation to the title
but like most every poetic endeavor
immediately becomes tangential
re: irrelevant to main subject of discussion,
digressing to unrelated points
characteristic of my trademark
swiftly styled and harried tailored,
and failing to return to original idea
with embedded symbolic logic
to better confuse the unsuspecting reader
which remaining written material
best understood after quaffing inxs of xylite
a liquid hydrocarbon
found in crude wood spirits,
or it can describe fossilized wood
that resembles brown coal
a natural sweetener
about 60% as sweet as sugar
often used in sugar-free foods
and beverages, such as chewing gum,
candies, and mouthwashes
distributed as door prizes
after elbow grease applied
leaving the inside
of the refrigerator
***** and span.

Not one square inch
of the once pristine
inside fridge no longer white
the wife begs to differ, whereby
even the pestiferous vermin
did protest and unite
against the glop and goo,
plus she claims
to be selectively color blind,
and thus defers her husband (me)
to tend to arduous
back breaking task tonight
since she knows how much
I like to bend over,
but actually on my hands and knees
while reaching with scrub daddy
(courtesy the famous cleaning influencer
Auri Kananen strong as an ox
a professional cleaner from Finland
popularized and touts said product),
but yours truly experiences back pain
that radiates to the sacral lumbar,
(and thus while reduced to crawling,
maneuvering left and right
on all fours, or tabletop position
I pray for Mary Poppins) quite
who hopefully can catch
the next umbrella express outright
and show up before night,
where dark shadows from
the outer limits of the twilight zone
within the bishopric of the king,
there once a pawn a time
accorded quite a bit of might
and as his mentor
lived a tarnished knight
essentially his incognito
cause at heart he claimed to be a Jacobite
stood about 182.88 centimeters in height
a rather diminutive chap,
and the proud papa
who never liked to quit
despite being diagnosed
with Parkinson's disease
a chronic, progressive neurological disorder
characterized by accumulation
of a protein called
alpha-synuclein in the brain
where respected researchers
suggests that alpha-synuclein
may trigger an autoimmune response,
leading to the destruction of brain cells
since questions arose about his death
a funeral director, a forensic archaeologist
or anthropologist, a medical professional
(like a forensic pathologist),
an Environmental Health Officer (EHO),
or a specialized exhumation firm,
depending on the circumstances
and jurisdiction his body electric
exhumed from gravesite
exhibiting more than one odd tick,
and new breakthroughs did excite
the biomedical engineers
discovered his essential tremors
perfectly synchronized
with Foucault's pendulum
and thus allowed, enabled,
and provided an excellent opportunity
for the author of these words
to surpass his prior appellation
linkedin to questionable supposition
he got erroneously hashtagged
and mistakenly reported
by Walter Leland Cronkite
an American broadcast journalist
who served as anchorman
for the CBS Evening News
from 1962 to 1981
unwittingly and accidentally uttered a faux pas
back in the day as idiot savant
now referred to as savant syndrome
or, in some contexts, autistic savant
nevertheless when here along,
he did rank (cull) as king of blatherskite.

(for not dominant with right hand
also known as southpaw and lefty,
as well as the more formal terms
sinistral and sinistromanual and another term,
particularly in Australian English,
hashtagged as mollydooker)

linkedin by various other names
as illustrated in the following fabrication,
which exceptionally well drawn illustrations
and instructions written in French,
thus necessitating a bi-lingual technician,
hook hood interpret the material
ideally an English literature major
top notch knowing grammar,
punctuation, spelling, et cetera
unintentionally impressing
madding crowd sitting on a bench,
who seem more fascinated by the logophile
a lover of words or a linguaphile
a lover of languages
who goes on a spontaneous *******
delineating the history
of those twenty six lettered symbols
allowing, enabling, and providing
a crash (test dummy) course
to the transfixed listeners
totally (tubular) regarding their original intent
for initial inquiry
about the left handed
monkey wrench explanation to quench.

Said multi-dubbed easy to assemble a drone wannabe, not only a handy dandy blues clues all in one light-weight contraption (available at Hooper's Store on Sesame Street) to handle any job (mostly those requiring physical labor, but also very helpful as a defense against weapons of mass destruction - by enveloping the user within a radio active proof bubble after he or she presses a button, but mindful about opening any windows in close proximity lest the message "Abort, Retry, Fail?") appears and ceases up the gizmo, and of course only a child (just out of swaddling clothes), which an anonymous lad or lass could troubleshoot aforementioned widget with eyes wide shut and hands tied behind their back. Matter of fact child labor laws rescinded to keep abreast of said revolutionary technological enhancements visited upon the left handed monkey wrench, which matter of fact witnessed unforeseen initial applications such as transmitting via electronic signals wirelessly courtesy wisdom (versus blue) tooth taken from anonymous benefactors.

A recent dental discovery brought to light (figuratively) that said wisdom tooth made up of four primary components: the outer enamel, the underlying dentin, the inner pulp (containing nerves and blood vessels), and the cementum that covers the tooth's root, which layers the same as any other tooth, with the enamel forming the hardest substance on the tooth's surface, the dentin making up the bulk of the tooth's structure, and the pulp providing nourishment and sensation, when some severely introverted boy experienced an aha moment and realized (while playing dentist without anesthesia, and extracting hindmost molars - previously loosened, (and practically dangling like a modifier) by a sucker punch to the mouth of a bully, who got knocked out (Hawaiian punch swiftly tailored harried styled) cold play kisser.

The dual rooted wisdom tooth served as a miniature model to expand on the essential principle of the general monkey wrench, which occurred to a scapegoated ego bruised super smart grade schooler while he remained standing up like another brick in the wall until the (hells) bell went off indicating recess came to a close, yet not before unnamed youngster sketched out a remarkable rendition of this tool while monkeying around with various and sundry drawing examples until he hit upon (again figuratively) while quietly observing and witnessed an aggressive wren (cause said curious little fella a self taught ornithophile) wrenching loose a passive resistant worm.

Construction of Twin Towers began
with groundbreaking ceremony
on August 5, 1966,
but the towers themselves
witnessed vertical construction in 1968 and 1969,
with the North Tower
topping out in December 1970
and the South Tower in July 1971
subsequently The World Trade Center complex,
including the Twin Towers,
officially opened for business on April 4, 1973
and located in Lower Manhattan, New York City
immediately demarcated a distinct silhouette
defined the core of The Big Apple
with an august centerpiece
of the World Trade Center (WTC)
situated in the Financial District
near the Hudson River,
the complex occupied a 16-acre site
and graced the land that never slept
after September eleventh
two thousand and one,
where the spirits haunt,
especially on anniversary
that marked the deaths of 2,996 people,
including 19 hijackers
who committed suicide.

Once scheme decided upon
to blow to smithereens
said iconic complex edifice landmarks
(id est twin towers)
got sited within figurative cross hairs
after being chosen as ground zero targets
and after surreptitious perpetrators
honed specific details
of appalling terrorist attack
regarding when to pull off
what would turn out to be
the deadliest foreign attack on U.S. soil,
exceeding Japan's surprise attack
on Pearl Harbor in Honolulu, Hawaii,
on December 7, 1941,
which killed 2,335 members
of the United States Armed Forces and 68 civilians,
whereby death knells tolled
for either sacrifice of countless lives,
even on anniversary number xxiv of former
of abominable debacle
The Twin Towers apocalyptic tragedy
crowded out every vestige of living social
for days, weeks, and months.

I happened to be housed upstairs
sequestered within the bedroom
designated for me after our (Harris) family
moved into the house
at 324 (formerly R.D. #2) at Level Road
on February 28th,1968.

After returning from her outing
mother, (who would succumb
to ovarian/uterine cancer
about forty four months later)
came sprinting thru the front door
like a bat out of hell
shouting to turn on the television
every channel broadcasting
the fiery maelstrom
watching helplessly as flames
engulfed the sky scraping sentinels
like a towering inferno
after two airplanes flew
into the Twin Towers
as part of the September 11 attacks
on the morning of September 11, 2001,
whereby American Airlines Flight 11
struck the North Tower,
and United Airlines Flight 175
struck the South Tower,
leading to the eventual collapse of both buildings.

Television viewers like me
kept eyes glued to the tube,
and watched in horror
attuned to the pandemonium,
a worse fate than death cab for cutie
while mayhem reigned supreme
fueling absolute zero escape
as the vast majority of people
panicked, yet perhaps
in feeble attempt to family and/or friend
with one final telephone call
to said loved ones
choking back tears
before they sought desperation measures
such as jumping out the windows
from the upper stories,
and plummeted to their immediate deaths
versus being roasted alive.

Round the clock coverage occurred,
and aside from the impossible mission
to keep the nation updated
since tragedy writ large
and so much dramatic activity occurred
any spare moment availed
an announcer to offer tidbits
such as the following:
The Twin Towers stood 110 stories tall,
with the North Tower (1 WTC)
standing at 1,368 feet
and the South Tower (2 WTC) at 1,362 feet,
but the North Tower's height increased
to 1,730 feet when a large antenna
added to roof in 1978,
but this being a nonstructural addition
not officially counted
as part of the building's height.

as if being a crash test dummy survivor
after a led zeppelin collided with yours truly,
a foo fighting beastie boy (George) talking head
found me in a comatose state
subsequently wishing I joined the grateful dead
upon suffering severe godsmack,
but thankfully rescued courtesy barenaked lady.

Weeks and months later
following intense physical therapy
being released from intensive care
and just on the cusp of resuming
I received my walking papers
as chief garbage taster,
which found me down in the dumps.

Fast forward (analogous to fast cars
believe me you, I espied a Fleetwood mac
racing on the information superhighway)
to the present, where I count my lucky stars
no police pulled me over
most likely because this defensive driver
went airborne as wings
(at the speed of sound),
where reo speedwagon avoided traffic
but unexpectedly needed
to dodge b-52's flying helter skelter.

Upon waking up early
on an September Autumn like day
serenity prevailed here
within the one bedroom apartment
cramped with the eight years worth
of cumulative belongings
mostly furnished courtesy
fellow tenants possessions
(the wife owns a reputation
any and all various and sundry
unwanted property from residents
who move out of this joint
here at Highland Manor Apartments,
or surviving family members
of a recently deceased occupant
automatically bequeathed
to her majesty
she will lug unwanted items
to Goodwill, Liberty,
or Worthwhile thrift store -
keeping for herself
whatever strikes her fancy),
or actually retrieving
functional material goods
dumped at the corral,
and ofttimes atop
a pile of ******* inside the dumpster.

Though amiable dynamics,
the wife and yours truly
get along swimmingly
(in this dive - ha),
which rapport of former antagonism -
about equal to the half-life
of being legally wedded
once analogous to a war zone),
whereat even peacekeepers
linkedin to the United Nations
abandoned hope mainly
on account of one philanderer -
meaning the author of these words
spent an inordinate number of hours
posting and/or answering
personal classified advertisements
catering to the unflagging libidinal longings
of yours truly unsuspected by the wife,
who believed my terse explanation
that Mister Harris meeting -
actually a blind date,
you go figure -
merely to take a spot of tea
or coffee with a veritable stranger
of the female persuasion,
which thy spouse eventually discovered
visa vis lie videre licet licentious libertine
the *hit hit the fan
after the figurative lid got blown
subsequently consentaneously, instantaneously
simultaneously liaisons with other women
fomented rupture, that after countless years
left an indelible impact on the psyches
of me mate and two daughters,
who long since flew the coop
relegating estrangement
to foreign corners of soul asylum
never witnessing repair.

Though once upon a time
I winced with tears for fears
at the first born considered "daddy's girl"
propelling either offspring on the swing
(their hands tightly
clutched on the chains),
I never tired heaving them
into a soundcloud
watching them disappear
into wuthering heights
losing their religion
and investing their trust in me
NOT to push them with such force
they would end up
on the dark side of the moon
thus now those then little girls
likened to goo goo dolls,
whereat infrequent reunions
finds their papa (me)
feeling like a foreigner
analogous to how Dorothy,
a resident of the prairies of Kansas
before the tornado
swept her away to the Land of Oz.

here within southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania,
encompassing quite a geographic swath
bordering Philadelphia County
to the southeast, including areas like Lower Merion,
Cheltenham, and Abington townships,
forming the southeastern boundary
of Montgomery County
within the larger Delaware Valley region,
plus this area characterized by integration
into the Philadelphia metropolitan area,
with significant towns and communities
that are well-connected to the city
by its transit and road networks.

Suburban sprawl punctuated
courtesy vinyl city,
which list of contractors
each left their respective
swiftly tailored, harried style signature,
yet none of these tract housing domiciles
can't hold a candle
to the original oldest buildings
or those individually built
with formal gardens and a manse size property,
whereby each majestic residence
possessed that je nais se qua
unique characteristic and personality
one mansion in particular special to me
originally named Glen Elm
and then encompassing
about The Hundred Acre Wood
constituted the house at Pooh's corner,
(which included about a half dozen acres),
I spent the majority of my growing up years
(actually initially constructed
as a summer getaway
for the Leiper's approximately,
(not to be redundant nor repetitive)
circa 1910 long since razed
from the roof possibly fifteen years ago,
now occupied with McMansions
that appeared to sprout along Stella's Way
a paved road formerly the gravel driveway
coming to a dead-end where the abode once stood
housing the Harris family,
who moved there February 28th, 1968.

Stimmler, one of the countless
home heating oil delivery company
resumed making their rounds
and topped off the furnace
when cold air seeped
throughout the domain
once a majestic place away from the city
surrounded with ample trees
that initially and imperceptibly
segued into a colorful picture of nature
for an artist or photographer
as the temperature
dipped below the comfort zone,
and father bolstered the wood pile,
that amassed into quite a sizable stack
(according to my humble opinion)
when summertime blues
(referring to the negative emotions,
like sadness, depression, and irritability,
that some people experience
during the summer months,
often linked to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD),
nevertheless nature presented
a splash of the three
most common fall leaf colors
being red, yellow, and orange,
which colors revealed
as the leaves break down
their green chlorophyll,
unmasking pre-existing carotenoid pigments
(yellow, orange, and brown)
and, in some species,
forming new anthocyanin pigments
(red, purple, or blue)
exhibiting change because decreasing daylight hours
and cooler temperatures
signal trees to stop producing chlorophyll,
the green pigment that masks other colors,
which process of leaves changing color
in the fall called senescence,
a natural cycle triggered
by shorter days and cooler temperatures
signaling deciduous trees
as iterated to stop producing green chlorophyll
and reabsorb nutrients from their leaves
for winter dormancy,
and once the green pigment fades,
other colors—from yellow and orange
to vibrant reds and purples—become visible.

Even as a skeptic yours truly experiences
an unbridled ecstasy
at the silent scenic explosion of grandeur
and prone to *******
"oh...how resplendently
and heavenly divine
to be a sensate being
extolling barenaked lady of Mother Nature
to witness to such beauty!"

The imagined intimated response
linkedin to a swindler's
imagined thought bubble
silently spouting you ain't nothing
but a pluperfect sucker...
rendered penniless suffered
courtesy a financial blow
now left forced to eat crow
forfeiting every last red cent,
plus if applicable escrow
being analogous to an indentured servant
denied luxury and security of nest egg,
hence peace of mind to forego
pipe dreams given the heave-**
resigned to dig up potatoes in Idaho
for peanuts and forced to panhandle
every now and again summon forth
plucking heartstrings of passersby
playing blues on the banjo
courtesy an anonymous Joe
such ***** winning
the PowerBall bajillion lotto
suddenly ****** into the spotlight
taking back the mean streets
the antithesis of Mister Rogers' neighborhood
videre licet aggressive manifesto,
and especially seeking vengeance
upon head(s) of miscreant swindlers,
who hoodwinked him now
said rags to riches antagonist
able, eager, ready and willing
to purchase quite a residence in Oswego
perched upon mountainous plateau
no longer forced to wander
aimlessly the streets of skid row
instrumental presenting slideshow
glorifying the upside of gentrification
to figuratively rescue
from urban blight undertow
of course with
the current Trump administration
such socially progressive programs
expected to be axed
no questions vis a vis veto.

"What in the name of Sam Hill"
(an early 19th-century American slang phrase,
a minced oath, meaning "What in the hell"
or expressing exasperation, surprise, or irritation)
blurted out time and again
when a heist (courtesy virtual den of thieves)
preys upon pitiful checking and savings accounts
not once, but countless times
necessitating me to change user name and password
(which measures seem minimally effective
to deter cyberpunks to ransack ala electronically
the scant money snatched
right under my figurative nose
not unlike taking candy from a baby
necessitating replacing Citizens Bank debit card,
but in record time unconscionable malfeasance
finds me in a lather
when for the umpteenth time
I experience monetary chicanery
and in a nutshell bemoan
these figurative bloodhounds
on a mission (not very impossible)
to hold a figurative gun to head, and rob me blind
lending heft to the maxim
a (this) fool and his money soon parted
seriously this fake Norwegian bachelor farmer
to end his life once and for all
during the spate of bitterly cold weather
jumping headlong into
the frigid waters of Lake Woebegone
which prompted me to flesh out the above scenario,
which hypothetical scenario I wrote
and posted countless poems and prose
excoriating the villainous misdeeds
perpetrated courtesy twenty first century
mean spirited unceasing continual predators,
whose net impact finds me
to sequester myself as a troglodyte
which nightmare scenario repeated time and again
whereby yours truly continuously targeted
at the unwelcome receiving end
while nonchalantly traversing the webbed wide world
unwittingly being tracked like some animal
oblivious to the cruel trickery
and before escaping the clutches of entrapment
fleeced and left to the fates
to succumb and grovel
amidst the emotional rubble
that formerly housed a coveted nest egg
that got stolen condemning me and the wife
to hand to mouth existence
barely able to maintain meeting the costs of living
though thankful to receive social security disability
as saving grace yet all eyes and ears
being hyper vigilant against depredations
vis a vis with malicious intent to defraud
any unlucky victim caught in the crosshairs
habitually yielding with passivity
versus blocking emails and telephone numbers
and/or simply ceasing to respond
to false promises of instant wealth
which always seems too good to be true
misled by false prophets whose aim
to dangle false profits.

must continuously be permanently
thwacked, lambasted,
furloughed and barred
(to late now) from remaining in the Whitehouse
after his 2024 presidential term ends.

The following written
when yours truly prescient
about forty months ago
(May second two thousand and twenty two,
when such foresight and insight
concurs with twenty/twenty hindsight of mine)
portended our United States of America
awaiting horrendous nightmare scenario.

Ducks of former self proclaimed Grand Poobah
getting lined up and goosed as these then words typed
after commander in chief
donned MAGA cap
trumpeting January 6th, 2021
as violent insurrection
Mitch McConnell got ribbing.

Poor sign,... I ham aghast, where
pigheaded previous president
(from Joseph Robinette Biden Junior)
concerned at increasing mind numbing popularity,
and looming ominous shadow
witnessed by Donald Trump,
a poor loser whose viciously
inexplicable resurgence against odds
despite his opprobrious person,
hence aye aerate thoughts,
how *** a nine his banal, demoniacal,
egomaniacal, fanatical,
guttural, hurtful, inimical
culling frightening insight,
where malicious, portentous,
salacious, venomous Portuguese
Man 'o War debacle
doth (now didst) crowdsource, flickr,
and indeed long foster
my plenti full overactive imagination
to induce writhing
expressions of fearfulness
proportionate burst of haughtiness)
while he doth stump
for becoming dictator,
would animate mine rear to expel
i.e. rather noxious flatulence
blasted from outward
doppelganger of ****
pull stilts skin cuz this chap
haint noah fan, but wood vouchsafe
tub be a Jimmy Neutron
and Spongebob Squarepants
ark n saw wing enemy
against da dull don dat does pump
swaggering bravado with fist swelling ego
analogous to his body
infected with severe case of mumps
that brazen denizen hurling
and spewing volcanic fiery spittle
with incense against others –
to him mere lumps
of protoplasm heckled as inferior to himself
boasts as proof of favoritism,
that enervating, endearing fawning,
gabbling feverish arrogant,
bombastic, chauvinistic, egotistical
mania for him jumps
higher than expected,
while he commits faux paws which bumps
his ratings higher, he gleefully endorses
pandemonium toward gloating gump
shun from the uproarious. querulous
and populous madding crowd.

Throughout relaunch of his campaign,
banally, devilishly, and fiendishly
character assassinating
those opposed to his views -
inducing me to harrumph and dump faith
in humanity, wondering what ruse
smart democratic pol mongers can conjure up
while pacing in soft shoes
woeful sentiments sans his attempt did render
(during 2020 race to White House)
competitors to drop out in ones n twos
whom he purportedly considers apostates,
and heathens cons heed
Make America Great use
all manner of
bullying, execrating, instigating
chaos, ferocious, insidious lies
determination, whose re: his occipital pupils
coalescing, hardening into searing
grape nut size wrath poisonous daggers
forcibly silencing any jeers
when necessary
plagiarizing neo **** playbook -
with a "who cares"
attitude closing in on pinteresting
for United States chess board foursquare,
which deliberate intent
to foment n wrought prostate -
music to those hoteliers billion dollar ears
defeating apprenticing contestants
hearing sobbing tears
with vitriolic violent bilious
inducing jabs of his a will full spears
reputations of personalities
(men and women politicians
his especial flavor of
scathing, scandalous, scabrous sordidness
spewed squeamishly
to grab by the figurative crotch
the hello kitty 2024 presidential election),
whether liberal, conservative,
heterosexual or queers
thus tis find this muddling
middle aged mwm
garden variety and generic guy
brandish, flourish, and nourish
psychic fractal brittle shears.

The word "it" is a pronoun,
a word used in place of a noun
to refer to a person, place, thing, or idea.

As a pronoun, "it"
is a third-person singular form
used as a subject or object
within a sentence.

I do not like starting, ending,
nor using the word it in a sentence
because ambiguity prevails
about what exactly it refers to whence
yours truly prefers the specificity
of more precise person, place or thing,
and attempts to be more definitive
versus leaving the reader
perched on a figurative fence,
thus I will go out of my linguistic way
to pause how to express intention hence
phrase a question or statement atypically
to escape the vagueness it connotes
even though any other ordinary person
asking what might be straight forward
entails the unwitting recipient
what competes as a dissertation
or novel to read at their sanity or expense
and no doubt smoldering rage
rises within their being
far surpassing a nearby
fire breathing amazing dragon,
who gets as angry as a red bull
igniting impossible mission to quell
essentially tossing out the book
how to resolve a win/win conflict
applying sensibility and sense
out of the question so...
the choice modus operandi
necessitates to carry on camping
despite the rancor being intense.

Honest to dog,
I did not expect a near apocalypse
figuratively shooting from the hips
taking poetic license
to express my aversion
against speaking or writing
the word with the two letters
each pronounced as eye and tea respectively
(taboo to me, and more offensive
then any expletive),
now I promise to keep sealed lips
for all eternity
exception to the rule being quips
reiterating penchant to steer clear
of couched Freudian slips,
where the idler wheel wiser
than the driver of the *****
and whipping cords
will serve you (a vip)
more than ropes will ever do
end of poetic endeavor
from one fascinating mensch,
who resides within 19473 coded zip.
There might be compatibility yet
even though this wordsmith,
even though, or maybe because
author of Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania
a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma,
especially if your figurative appetite
for comprehension I did whet
because all joking aside
just because I shun the word coded as 9-20
(so called the A1Z26 cipher
or letter number cipher)
doth newt make me a threat
but more to the point this doggone
could be your human therapy pet
and if the cosmic bodies align
we could create our own little kinglet
be it as it may, but...
methinks thee might well hurl unprintable epithet.

The word "it" is a pronoun,
a word used in place of a noun
to refer to a person, place, thing, or idea.

As a pronoun, "it"
is a third-person singular form
used as a subject or object
within a sentence.

I do not like starting, ending,
nor using the word it in a sentence
because ambiguity prevails
about what exactly it refers to whence
yours truly prefers the specificity
of more precise person, place or thing,
and attempts to be more definitive
versus leaving the reader
perched on a figurative fence,
thus I will go out of my linguistic way
to pause how to express intention hence
phrase a question or statement atypically
to escape the vagueness it connotes
even though any other ordinary person
asking what might be straight forward
entails the unwitting recipient
what competes as a dissertation
or novel to read at their sanity or expense
and no doubt smoldering rage
rises within their being
far surpassing a nearby
fire breathing amazing dragon,
who gets as angry as a red bull
igniting impossible mission to quell
essentially tossing out the book
how to resolve a win/win conflict
applying sensibility and sense
out of the question so...
the choice modus operandi
necessitates to carry on camping
despite the rancor being intense.

Honest to dog,
I did not expect a near apocalypse
figuratively shooting from the hips
taking poetic license
to express my aversion
against speaking or writing
the word with the two letters
each pronounced as eye and tea respectively
(taboo to me, and more offensive
then any expletive),
now I promise to keep sealed lips
for all eternity
exception to the rule being quips
reiterating penchant to steer clear
of couched Freudian slips,
where the idler wheel wiser
than the driver of the *****
and whipping cords
will serve you (a vip)
more than ropes will ever do
end of poetic endeavor
from one fascinating mensch,
who resides within 19473 coded zip.
There might be compatibility yet
even though this wordsmith,
even though, or maybe because
author of Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania
a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma,
especially if your figurative appetite
for comprehension I did whet
because all joking aside
just because I shun the word coded as 9-20
(so called the A1Z26 cipher
or letter number cipher)
doth newt make me a threat
but more to the point this doggone
could be your human therapy pet
and if the cosmic bodies align
we could create our own little kinglet
be it as it may, but...
methinks thee might well hurl unprintable epithet.

The lette r on the Macbook Po laptop compute
doth not function, thus I connected
an extenal keyboad coutesy USB ***,
and need to each ove ight hand ove left
and attempt to type the coect key
most often pessing othe then the coect lette
quite an impossible mission
afte daylight fades to dakness,
when dak shadows
glom the inteio light of the bedoom
essentially esembling the oute limits
of the twilight zone
whee the edge of night encoaches
challenging me to caft
an undestandable silly vese
letting these finges of mine
appea to andomly skitte
acoss the qwety keyboad,
but quite an effot went into painstaking effot
to shae how difficult communication would become
if (fo no paticula hyme o eason,
only twenty lettes compised
the Anglo Saxon alphabet,
o wose case scenaio
omitting the most common lette
namely the vowel e,
which does esult
in a baely compehensible output
of essentially esulting in utte gibbeish
pue gobbledygook to the most skilled English majo,
yet I must add how humoous the esultant output,
yet completely lacking sense and sensibility
gatis yous tuly (me),
an aticulate, chaming,
eudite, fun loving, pinteresting,
wodsmith yielding an outcome shifting
fom the idiculous to the sublime,
yet inteestingly enough
an anonymous eade
can fill in the blank omissions,
but afte slogging thu just this bief liteay example,
one could not imagine dagons
getting into a fiestom
tying to ead a stoy book about mythical beasts
that oam acoss the teestial fimament
as happened to be the case
when dinosaus dominated
as species numeo uno
duing the Mesozoic Ea,
also known as the "Age of Dinosaus,"
which spanned from appoximately
252 to 66 million years ago,
which ea divided into thee perods:
the Tiassic Period (252-201 million yeas ago),
the Juassic Peiod (201-145 million yeas ago),
and the Cetaceous Peiod (145-66 million yeas ago),
and fo whateve explanation Dinosaus became extinct
at the end of the Cetaceous Peiod,
with the exception of avian dinosaus,
which ae the birds that exist today.

analogous to seventh heaven lee delight
this two thousand and twenty five
listed in reverse order of events
lastly spoke over the telephone
Courtesy Creative Health representative and arranged
to become linkedin with a recovery coach,
to acquaint myself videlicet unnamed person
eleven thirty post meridien
September twelfth at Ott's Exotic Plants
nearly spent the one hundred dollar GIANT gift card
from generous staff members
at Saint Mary's Church
40 Spring Mt Rd, Schwenksville, PA 19473
ala (king) lee St. Vincent de Paul Society
and plunked down a ten dollar bill
to purchase five PowerBall tickets,
but prior to the above embarked on a quest
to locate the wife at clearance section,
where we frequently acquire
commestibles at discount prices.

Even dummkopf me learns
how to become a savvy shopper
courtesy the wife
who figuratively drags me
(and my Petty full heart) along
but more often then not,
I leave buying food
at the market to the spouse
one helluva comparative
humdinger savvy shopper,
who can rattle off the best buy
for most any given item,
at the drop of a hat
and she would willingly truck
(courtesy driving our 2020 Sonata Elantra)
from one store or another
to purchase sought after item(s)
despite schlepping the extra miles,
and often scoops up goods
in one fell swoop
from clearance section,
and adheres to the postman's credo
"Neither snow nor rain nor heat
nor gloom of night stays these couriers
from the swift completion
of their appointed rounds"
often considered the motto
and inscribed in gray granite
above the entrance
to the New York City Post Office.

The phrase comes from
The Persian Wars by Herodotus,
written around 500 B.C.
during the wars between
the Greeks and Persians.

Herodotus referring to the Persian
mounted postal couriers,
who he observed with great admiration
and said were undeterred
by the elements
from completing their rounds.

The phrase was modified and approved
by the Post Office Department in 1914
by William Mitchell Kendall,
an architect at McKim, Mead & White,
the firm that designed
the New York General Post Office.

Kendall (the son of a classics scholar)
enjoyed reading Greek.

Every now and again, I accompany her,
after she tries in vain
to coax and wheedle yours truly
(with threats she won't buy me any drinks -
such as Kombucha),
nevertheless but frequently remain
holed up in our one bedroom apartment
disinclined to subject myself,
(a socially anxious aging baby boomer,
and lapsed long hair pencil neck geek)
to the cruel embarrassment and harassment
linkedin with Samson syndrome
characterized courtesy lovely long golden locks
bully me prime target for mean people,
who offer their unsolicited feedback loop.

despite me chronological age being one naught naught
as an impractical joker
to da liver me from being dirt poor,  
especially when bitterly cold draught
howls and rattles mine lovely bones
despite a lifetime
weathering supercalifragilisticexpialidocious genes
that no amount of money could buy nor bought.

The following epistemological foray
yielded the Mattspeak gibberish,
set in Times New Roman
as twelve font before your eyes
the net result knowledge acquired to date
and subsumed within
at  original instance of writing
sixty plus shades of gray
living and practicing
being interpersonally social
cause for me
(once upon a time
as an extremely introverted lad,  
and essentially totally withdrawn),
thus now being extroverted
self congratulatory cause for hip... hip...
hip... replacement surgery hooray
immediately afterwards prancing
and dancing around with the stars  
ignoring egregious bupkis
issuing out the mouths of those
from the rat pack set who inveigh
against this boyish looking centenarian
still spry enough to skip up the jetway
prior to thugs nearly
beating the sh*t out of me
(as an uppity person of color) courtesy the KKK,
who now know better not to tangle
with the likes of me adroit enough
to knock every bully
hankering to start a melee.

No quest chin, I defy conformity and thwart
hat field bald apropos abilities
with scads of literary antics to best
buy thee interest whoever doth reed
and vet suitable candidates, and community chest
o' mine heaves with anticipation wonder,
ring how purveyor donning figurative Crampons,
(that trumpet each dicey icy echo wing
step of mein kampf) rivals Everest
to scale (albeit without rich hard gear equipment
'cept a perceptive noggin)
egg shaped permanent neck listed guest
as company to share lite snack or drink,
what suits yar harvest,
and course interjections
of good humor, cuz wittiness and jest
kin download a lightness
of being, and gentle byte size
comical banter an electronic
binary boffo, buffoonery bytes lest
head honcho all business evident
by desk pinterest ting nest
ill suited for spontaneity streaming
one-liners, that could be a pest
ambition of him/her aiming
to game dialogue nabbing quest
of productive money in side pocket,
where prestidigitation trick
up sleeve also rest
viz electron nick kewl back aid
AC/DC jumper linkedin acid test
and...well no animals harmed
in writing courtesy baby boomer wise guy
of persiflage noir lived
(as a self hired spy for espionage
approximately ***** dozen miles
didst indeed drive dirt cheap
regarding inception of these words)
**** sitter ably west
of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,
would (if some fluke offered
this worm men eye sir ha job) exclaim
ming (while astride his high Trojan Horse),
a muffled, mumbled, and muted zest.

He be dashing off (riding
in a white horse open sleigh)
driven by a Quisp and Quake
eating pop slop served
courtesy ancestor ova Decembrist
quite horridly and harried styled,
and swiftly tailored Russian revolutionary,
who in December 1825 - got ******
flew led zeppelin
(with limited posse sub billet tee),
an unsuccessful revolt
against Tsar Nicholas I
grabbing his righteous left wrist,
whence leaders (including
this nebulous genealogical firecracker)
executed, and later regarded as martyrs by the Left.

Pixar could nada pay enough
for this trainer of apple chomping antz
so I wonder if any chance
hello kitty whisker of employment
thru contrived virtual toy story
qua ratatouille poetic brew
could materialize into likely chance
such an idea generates me
to shrek out with excitement
and doo *** ping
hip-hop improvisational thespian dance
just in case a glimmer of some prospect exists
for this self anointed bard who dislikes formality
presents posse sub billet tee say technical skills,
which I hope to enhance,
hence this chap offers following poetic expression,
nada common and did not german ate in France
to take a glance
so help this intuitive **** sapiens
overcoming Bing a deep pull lore able
bass kit case to enhance
sharpen mental acuity like lance,
which byte size bit torrent humor
might cause ye to soil pants
misinterpreting mishmash as raves and rants
even part time income would buoy
ma Petsmart gull livers travelers sans positive stance
with subtle intent to place me as worth hiring,
to sway au currant series electronic charge
ideally affect hypnotic trance
in effort for consideration to ad-vance.

I betcha never read a pseudo cover letter reply
like iambic pentameter electronic wire
from boyish looking blood muggle father up in years,
(whose nonpareil courage
to face Voldemort never does tire)
and two grown doll ling daughters,
would consider him worthy hire
less so to rake in gobs of money,
but satiate nearly unquenchable hunger and thirst
for bits of computer fields, and pad family big bird nest
while watering stream of consciousness babbling
brook - bass adder know how to acquire.

This faux cover letter of sorts conveys itty bitty
raw bits minuscule Orbitz size actual work experience
(from this papa who lived
northwest of Philadelphia city,
when these keystrokes
initially impressed alphanumeric characters)
nonetheless, I hanker
(NOT to be confused with HACKER -
divergent words differ by juiced
one letter prompts following ditty)
computer troubleshooting
(and making) abilities of mine
thine appetite to comprehend,
aye ascribe BuzzFeed ding nitty gritty
nebulous on par with secret life of Walter Mitty,
whom destiny protected and took pity
merely meant to be silly
boot hoop fully entertaining
as a gig from the late Conway Twitty,
yet also attempt to be witty.

No matter how many miles by car
(actually your company might be
within dead man walking distance),
this opportunity would be considered nod da to far
hoop ping responding
in rhyme considered creatively healthy
though garbled endeavor to explicate
duly cause for overlooking role
to enter inside open sesame a jar
communicate modest casual fashion trying knot to mar
ma duke king chances dressing
dishabille prove hike kin use acumen
interest, language skills and technologically spar
using graphical user interface programs
to get unstuck from virtual feathery tar.

Iambic pentameter doth not constitute traditional
standard genre for a debtor
I see no reason with rhyme
why non-conformist modus operandi
cannot serve mode to communicate pursuit
as computer repair technician and letterman go getter,
which honest to goodness confession
hopefully affects against
other respondents at least a bit better.

This pure breed mud half blood muggle prince
bona fide seeker for challenging income
does reckon following poetic way
not necessarily follows formalities
to reply as most would readily say,
yet why adhere to conformity,
whereby paradigm frowns on creative er ray
which atypical modus operandi
to reply positive job I pray
even if outcome offering interest turns out to be nay
perhaps because mien hometown
since these words written
about tree doze zen
leafy miles north West
of Philadelphia frito band eat toe lay.

LivingSocial within southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
the general domain since birth
resume may (quite slim
as jail grub gruel) may show dearth
yet hie decided to resort with verse a tile tactic
induce sing byte size mirth
of requisite (sought after) technical expertise,
I do possess the attributes well worth.

If you might allow me to boast
blithely use iambic pentameter to coast
maybe opportunity to eradicate
re: exorcise binary elusive ghost
offer bytes of helpful information from pc host
with brio and confidence, I respond to post.

So...without further ado I will slightly brag
to tell ability conduct ding understand DOS
no longer necessary
to abort, cancel, and restart
mission to program one's way thru virtual crag
manage common passé system utilities
(back in the day,
when technology cradled
analogous to baby during their infancy)
such as scan disk and defrag
installed, resolved dsl issues, performed
scan-disk and troubleshooting glitches
viz yule eyes basic
removal of DOS files, installation
and/or removal of hardware
likewise uninstalling software, running registry sweeps
in an attempt to remove bugs and errors
cause zing machine to cough and gag,
which invariably abends processes as downloading,
sending, uploading, et cetera to lag
gently goading an overloaded old nag,
who if an aged horse versus actual human,
would warrant sweat wicked off brow with rag
and if chance smiles on further consideration
like happy pup his/her tail will wag.

Oh...and by the way
(gnome hatter a no...no and taboo topic de jure),
I would accept a starting
and/or negotiable salary as starting wage
in an effort to support self proclaimed sage,
whose role can double up as court jester, joker, or page
hopeful poetic synopsis offers favorable gauge
in tandem enriching fount
of knowledge (initially
courtesy COMPAQ PRESARIO)
as revolutionary in 1999 as yours truly
more valuable than fine spun gold at advanced age.

Y'all might think this reply balderdash and rot
which may matter bo diddly squat
no matter I herald from royalty with salient strengths
as being a prestigious scott
butta ma sta harris
does not smoke *****,
nor drink from a chamber ***
and student of establishment he is not
one to boast about knick knack
paddy whack…to craft a bon mot,
yet moxie by maxima proxy this poet doth got
might elicit salient characteristics similar to a humanoid bot
and, oh by the way,
I lived in montgomery county, Pennsylvania
some year’s quite a-lot.

Good day from: harmless, hapless, handless mad man Matthew Harris.

As subtle obvious from the above burst
this non quit ting chap doth tick and cursed
with avidity, cupidity, electricity durst
to flout conformity, and will when a Hearst
coffin dost bear me away,
lest cremation mine ashes get dis pursed
aspiring to wax poetic fur better or wurst.

In Love With Words

Carte blanche,
this scrivener bandies, exercises,
and indulges inexplicable gravitas
drooling, extolling, and fielding greatness,
frothing handily, indubitably jinxed,
linkedin as some lingual philanderer,
which oral *******,
this sensate being suckles figuratively das *****
sans mother tongue i.e. english language
unbeknownst to this cobbler,
dabbler and fiddler (on the roof) with rhetoric,
why those twenty six letters constituting
sole lingua franca known to him,
admittedly beheld captivate, fascinated,
genuflecting, highhandedly
inflated educated cerebral cortex
aflame with fiery passion
asper language affianced to himself,
liberal minded radiant, redolent and rudimentary scribe,
who would book chartered flight per voluminous Goddess
to the ends of the Earth demonstrating,
hallucinating and punctuating affinity,
cupidity energetically gravitating ingratiation
knowingly manumission only pleases queen rhetoric,
she thrives unequivocally
viz usually warbling xeroxed yapping
zestfully, amorously and beatifically,
charming dame, entrances fixation, germinating hypnosis,
idyllically juicing kinetic love
mister nonestablishmentarian obliquely producing
quintessential rhapsodies, sonnets, rhyme less threnody
uber veneration towards prosaic radiant, redolent romantic
in tryst ting worthily winsome weaver
doth frigate gently heaves illustrious, joyous, kindness
livingsocial, merrily opportunistically profligate
overlooking many averse trait
viz zit ting this absolute zero
nasty and short brute, cheating discrete envoy,
fantasizing glorious hedonistic insurmountable jazzed ken,
when, even as a haploid male or female germ cell
able to unite with another of the opposite ***
engendered genetically inherent kickstarter mature oldster
quacking sociological product tete a tete paramour the prose
Dot com follower tis reason aye wrote this poem.

Prosaic poem of mine, who dislikes formalities, hence prose heeds with the following.

     I now find myself (a googling messenger) in a severe (near penniless) financial quandary, (and welcome the altruistic, capitalistic, fabulistic, juristic, opportunistic...benevolent, cash delivery ending fiduciary grinding poverty), cuz yours truly happened to be strapped for cash (after being stripped of every red cent), and thus seeks ways and means to trim unnecessary (or superfluous) expenses, which would include discontinuing coveted magazine subscriptions to Mother Jones, The Nation, TIME, and Smithsonian, which progressive publications serve as the mother and father lode of events within the webbed, wide world brimming with burning man shuns as talking heads pontificated about how to trumpet big beautiful billeted Babes in Toyland, and meanwhile don the trappings of a supertramp courtesy a cheap trick doubling up as a Beatle browed beastie boy, and thus hired as a Renaissance man wearing bangles drawing attention among the village people with little feet.

     Cypher punks tricked out as voracious pulchritudinous money managers named Davis Chuchpiller, Donald *****, Linda Creque, Julie Leach, Miriam Smith, Philip Stevens, and Kathleen Witmer to enumerate just a figurative handful (which aforementioned first and surnames listed most likely pseudonyms for stealthy rapscallions to me, an amateur stalwart sleuth) feigning ignorance when linkedin with his trusty bloodhound immediately detects scents (and sensibilities without pride nor prejudice) sniffs out a susceptible and innocent cyber surfer (pulled into the virtual undertow and rip tides) then subsequently easily lured into phishing schemes and masterfully baited courtesy untolled (bell weather essentially as mean wealth usurpers) employing nefarious enticements such as asking the recipient to divulge her/his social security number, passwords, mother's maiden name, et cetera.

     Years ago (about twenty six months ago to be more precise) yours truly got suckered into a money loosing scheme (courtesy Harvey Specter who made no pretense to vacuum up many Benjamins I withdrew from Citizens Bank (Trappe, Pennsylvania location) after deluding me with a doozy that fake colleagues of perpetrator linkedin among management claiming collaboration and collusion prevailed convincing (poor Matthew Scott Harris) that rampant rogues gallery proliferated at above mentioned banking institution, which he, (the spectre incarnate of ***** deeds done dirt cheap) attested criminal activity ran amuck and my anointed artifice best in show trained uber valued wiseacre (among jump/kick starting rash of X men) yielded best bang for the buck hit man.

     Ofttimes told before (in previously posted bulletins of mine) as a Norwegian bachelor farmer from Lake Woebegone, Minnesota my kismet (way before conception between ***** and ova conducted contra aey fusion) already color coded for sixth sense, in tandem with extra sensory perception allowed, enabled and provided the write of these words a natural born (free and clear) killing instinct never employed to maim nor disable life or limb of another (even a bonafide, execrable, horrible and kickass miscreant), but much preferred win/win as conflict resolution taught to me courtesy the late Jean Dole (who passed away and wrote as an obituary the passing of one who affected (and I might add infected) and permanently inoculated me mind/ with the active listening germ helped me (to ask myself) how I can resolve when in this, that or the other bind/ by summoning a win-win approach, whereby e'en the angels on high did offer a grudging wink and helped the planets to align, just by some cosmic fluke (approximately two score and six years ago when she spoke at the Thomas Paine Unitarian Fellowship located in Collegeville, Pennsylvania), I managed to affect an impression if she bethought me a kook/ upon that first encounter -- at her home/ but perhaps being christened Matthew and not Mark, John nor Luke/ she took a liking to me/ and contributed to self actualization -- mainly thru venting via her so called self styled quasi-primal scream therapy, which helped this long time client helped him to some extent his inner travails to nuke! I will miss you dear Jean/ for being so tolerant and keen/ and ranking as some therapeutic queen posted within the storied within the Philadelphia Inquirer/Philadelphia Daily News May 23, 2007.

which perpetrators most likely find quite funny

Super ******* and sons of ******* wantonly deceive
easily earning the sobriquet nefarious charlatans heave
vainly doing devilish deeds done dirt cheap and leave
a broke bloke (such as writer of these words)
whereby he doth perceive
sudden horror and nothing short of a cyber thieve.

Donald ***** and Philip Stevens
pose as legitimate senior
customer service representative/
relation officers who
(may be savvy with accredited learning) apply
a misleading electronic address as follows -
onlineservices.citizensalert@gmail.com,
but any resemblance
between said imposters
and gurus of bonafide money world
and living person purely coincidental,
(who may sport countless other aliases
possibly one and the same individual),
whom thee dear reader
may have unfortunately encountered online
bank on hoodwinking with tricks of their trade
deserve to get their just desserts,
and finds me referencing the comedy duo
of Laurel and Hardy ofttimes incorporating
their most iconic
and frequently used catchphrase:
"Well, here's another nice mess
you've gotten me into!"
and said tagline describes to a Tee,
how yours truly felt after dealing
with the aforementioned individuals
I consider scoundrel(s).

Upon inquiring at Citizens Bank headquarters
none of the head honchos
within the upper echelons of management
recognized above broached names,
nevertheless I derive pleasure
courtesy character assassination
ennobling nasty, brutish and short
(a famous quote
from Thomas Hobbes's Leviathan,
where he describes life
in a hypothetical
"state of nature" without government)
fiends able, eager and ready
to bleed financially dry
with bluster any individual
that can be manipulated
to believe that apothegm
if something seems too good to be true
then most likely sinister motives
figuratively trod underfoot.

The technique to incorporate
hook, line and sinker
falsely claiming that a username
or password warrant immediate attention
(as applies to the sensitive
and delicate nature of checking
and/or savings account information)
which figurative foxes in sheep's clothing
will be more than eager
to resolve said "false" glitch
by surrendering such sensitive data
to these self proclaimed Messiahs.

I feel dumbfounded
not only at the crass chicanery
to dupe me,
(who rarely questions the blunt request
to acquire sensitive data
such as passwords
or even sending a copy
of a debit card)
barely giving second pause
at the sheer chutzpah
of derelicts to rob yours truly
of his measly money,
but also chide myself
for being so oblivious
to "red flags"
such as a supposedly
"fake" Citizens Bank employees
emailing me at all hours
of the day and night
inveigling one poor sucker
to relinquish (analogous to keys
of a safe being willingly handed over
without deliberation, hesitation,
petification, and trepidation),
and wonder when
will I ever learn
to be more perspicacious
to now self evident truths
about the wily wicked ways
of scam artists totally
adrip with malicious motives,
which as an aside require me
to update all the merchants
(not necessarily of Venice)
and vendors linkedin
to the compromised debit card.

Adieu from: Matthew Harris

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"

The alarming trend of renegade
souper spoons ladling out propaganda
cast a chilling, galvanizing, and spooking trend
many spoons transitioning to sporks
and running off with knaves of knives.

Why, where, and when all spoons
got uppity and disappeared
mystifies kitchen motley crews
across the webbed wide world
as to why these implements
consisting of a small,
shallow oval or round bowl
on a long handle,
used for eating, stirring, and serving food
vanished right before the eyes of Laura Mars
leaving top notch experts with highly sir-rated
sharp cutlery skills
expressing unanimous befuddlement,
nevertheless, I tried to feign self importance
to cook up my own theory
contributed as an airtight notion
eventually also grudgingly promulgated
by countless service members,
especially those enlisted
in the Coast Guard and/or Navy
as opposed to other branches of the military,
which past generations
of present amphibious veterans
(whose lineage traced
back to early "Frogmen")
sometimes got submerged
in a yellow submarine
and living a life of ease
ten thousand leagues under the sea
of the expansive watery environment
essentially the menfolk
(namely husbands predominantly SEALS
by no Otter name),
and/or their mien ale wives
acclimated where still waters run deep.

Hence aforementioned runaway utensil issue
declared a riddle, wrapped in a mystery,
inside an enigma,
a quote originally used
by Winston Churchill
to describe the Soviet Union
during the second world war)
despite round the clock coverage
of what appears to be a mecca
of veritable lemmings.

As of the crafting of this poem
no dramatic headway
established on the figurative beachhead
meaning near impossible mission to boot
no matter stop the presses decree issued
to squeeze any additional fuller capacity
to allow, enable, and provide
feedback on what I already dished out
while the president at present
discussed and gathered top brass
to engineer emergency war whoop
if necessary bringing back the draft
(compulsory military service) or reinstatement
with intent to amass sizable troop
movement to enable, and provide
up to the nanosecond
details so one may get latest scoop
within the blink of an eye),
whereby the national global effort to recoup
boasting officers future offspring
hinted courtesy embarrassing pictures
of ship shape men fatigued with arm forces
stealthily unbuttoning uniforms of pretty thang
donning heterosexual couples
spooning, kissing, and beaming
pictures at an exhibition adorned
awash with bouncing baby boys and girls
(now grown to men and women)
claimed sons and daughters of their own born
with a silver demitasse in their mouths,
and strongly said utensils believed
they (silverware) hit upon dim minted notion
while cooks shucked corn
that aforementioned flatware
forged courtesy blood, sweat and tears.

Sum melting of
manufactured in Dearborn
home of Ford Motor Company world headquarters
and birthplace of Henry Ford
also boasts a large Arab American population
and cultural attractions
like the Arab American National Museum
diehard first spoon fed their young'uns
initially settled by French Canadians
in the late 18th century,
with Antoine Dequindre
being one of the first known
non-Native American settlers
experienced an identity crisis
suffering debilitating malady
analogous to plight
experienced courtesy the Michigan einhorn
synonymous with staggering
diminution in English speaking peoples.

Even though veritable hypothetical unknown females
courtesy Facebook Messenger
frequently pepper their text messages to me
with sweet nothings,
which figurative playful banter tickle my fancy,
and immediately triggers romantic fantasies
courtesy every "Jane, Liz, and Mary,"
I (a former Norwegian bachelor farmer
now married Caucasian, latitudinarian,
nonestablishmentarian, sexagenarian,  
and Unitarian Democrat)
imagine dragon Siamese triplets
across the dance floor which
three in one package
considered a peculiar form of polygamy
who would marry yours truly in a heartbeat,
a regular unleaded yawping wordsmith
wherein a parallel universe
houses a doppelgänger of every one of us,
which mimics our every first and last move
creating Thicke blurred lines
analogous to cataracts obscuring field of vision
blinding me to brilliant babes in toyland
bodaciously, deleteriously, flirtatiously,
halfseriously, judiciously, and lubriciously
pricking my potent, latent and dormant libido
squelched courtesy the side effects
of one or more
of the nine prescription medications
taken to ameliorate
the physiological symptoms of social anxiety
(once upon a time seriously
debilitating panic attacks)
dysthymia, obsessive compulsive disorder
and palmar hyperhidrosis.

These anonymous recipients
that lavish affectionate
gooey honey words
immediately jump/kick start
thumping heart, and no matter I try
like the dickens to downplay
any illusions or delusions of grandeur
whereby sense and sensibility
run away at light speed
already envisioning (without pride
nor prejudice) ineluctable naked lunch
with a barenaked lady
dancing out of a birthday cake
(even though the date
would be other than January thirteenth -
the actual month and day
yours truly made slippery as an eel
made his debut appearance
out the birth canal
sixty six earth orbits ago
two thousand twenty five
after our harried styled tailored lord
purportedly ascended into the heavenly vault
cheaply tricked out as some
super ***** donning the mantle
of trumpeting amazing grace
videlicet eternal soul asylum
within elysian fields.

All to often
when currying a spicy friendship
with a veritable stranger
(frequently linkedin to a social media platform),
the profusion of affable hypocorisms
(/haɪˈpɒkərɪzəm/ hy-POK-ər-iz-əm or /ˌ
haɪpəˈkɒrɪzəm/ HY-pə-KORR-iz-əm;
from Ancient Greek ὑποκόρισμα hypokórisma;
sometimes also hypocoristic),
or pet name, registers
as a name used
to show affection for a person,
which incorporates a fondness
to encourage an attraction
felt toward another
offtimes bandied courtesy
uttered courtesy maternal persons,
where tender loving care
most certainly gently intoxicates
as if quaffing a sip of vintage spirits
anathema to this teetotaler,
even if he did not get
nine prescription medications
approved by Elizabeth Clark,
(a certified psychiatric nurse practitioner
(Nps), and physician assistants (Pas)
yours truly would not quaff spirits of the gods
cause he dislikes being in an altered state
and blurt out something
he immediately regrets.

forever dooming how the missus and I relate
where interplay, foreplay and coldplay
insinuated themselves within mine pate,
once I espied and entered trap door to late,
thus now ensnared and inextricably
caught into the web of deceit
courtesy my own making
detritus of sundered scattered corpses
a stark prelude of unpleasant fate
awaits yours truly,
whereat once harmonious convergence
between the writer of these words
wrought havoc upon the wife
courtesy unfettered wanton lust
towards Alice in Chains,
where hook, line and sinker
no match for Jane's Addiction
a false nubile prophetess,
who promised me everlasting love
damning eternal conjugal bliss
that weathered category five emotional Hurricanes
ever since I tasted verboten fruit,
and suffered pierced airing of cleft marriage
courtesy nymphs young enough to be my daughter
unduly flattered,
where refutation towards doxological pleading
denied late connubial transgressions
doomed to be forever estranged
from kith and kin
both those related by blood
and those connected
by friendship and close acquaintances
sacrificed on the altar of pledged troth
half-life of mine after I became spellbound
when a four foot eleven contra dancer
surreptitiously snuck up
and surprised yours truly
with a smooch on the lips
years before banshee
freed from tempest in a teapot
only discernible to me
(a veritable hobgoblin in my head)
shrieking ****** ******
while poet of Perkiomen Valley
rode first class on the Orient Express
enroute to a place
in the outer limits
of the twilight zone named Willoughby,
where dark shadows creeping
along the edge of night
signalled storm of the century
slated to make landfall four after midnight
no escape for this running man
unable to Carrie on camping
cause he lavished being attentive
and gravitated towards
the alluring, beguiling, charming...
****** innuendos hinting
of implicit indirectness
and double meanings
to convey a suggestive or risqué message,
where no doubt
(after I texted explicit premature ejaculations)
she unexpectedly got ghosted
triggering her to Rage against the machine,
where the ability to communicate
seething hormonal secretions
suddenly stifled when stark realization
and horror of his marriage
(that endured two score and nine years -
in the beginning fraught
with tumultuous verbal altercations -
nearly coming to fisticuffs
on at least one occasion)
figuratively being shattered
into a million little pieces
where all the King's horses
and all the King's men,
couldn't put (M. Scott Harris -
a stand in egg head)
for Humpty together again,
whose realization for desperation and reconciliation,
(which rupture defied repair
even with the expert assistance of Maggie Jaramillo
a recovery coach of mine courtesy Creative Health)
cause apology came too little to late,
and essentially triggered,
thus all around misery
spelling abomination, decimation,
and humiliation wrought
steely dancing imps of the pervert,
and where ruination descended upon
former kingdom of love and delight
analogous to an emotional quake
epicenter in the heart and soul
leveling corporeal entity and lovely bones.

cunctatious, flirtatious, and unostentatious,
plus being calm, cool and collected,
but he haint disputatious!

Though by far whether alive
or posthumously repurposed
into molecular bits or bytes
videlicet Malus domestica
courtesy Johnny Appleseed
whose real name John Chapman,
planted an estimated thousands
of apple trees
across the Midwestern United States
and primarily established
apple nurseries, not just single trees,
across large areas of wilderness;
while the exact number unknown,
his nurseries ranged in size,
including one near Fort Wayne, Indiana,
that held fifteen thousand trees
yours truly no way and no however
going to become as illustrious
as aforementioned legendary American,
nor industrious as The Venerable Bede,
nevertheless lemme twitter, snapchat and buzzfeed
that he will also concede
that his mien streak shifts
towards enunciation, pronunciation, and renunciation
against the establishmentarian modus operandi
whether in word or deed
nor said very important righteous leftist
be hashtagged but anything
other than modest,
where ostentation he doth not exceed
merely accessorizing how to embellish
whereby staid language best be freed,
not only to enliven conversation
but also to diplomatic
when portraying moral vices such greed
pride, envy, and lust or social vices,
which can encompass characteristics
like drug addiction, theft, and violence
cuz he espouses credibility, integrity, probity
and abiding laws as a Citizens Banker
I attest he doth wont to heed
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness thus indeed
decrying violence
such as exemplified courtesy "Janjaweed"
primarily members of nomadic Arab tribes,
who have been in long-standing conflict
with Darfur's settled African farmers
over resources like water and land
where talking heads
espouse sax and violins,
which horrific rapine and senseless killing
affect impressionable physical development
of infants and children,
leads to maladies of precious progeny
such as being bow legged
and/or knock-kneed
influencing differently abled person
to escape the cares and concerns
of an uncertain future
to ditch going to school
and accessing consciousness
expanding material such as locoweed
and become adroit
as a bootlegger selling moonshine
distilling their own liquor such as mead
plus growing their own hemp
living off the grid without the need
for dependence on nonrenewable resources
or even modern plumbing they eschew
whereby marking their territory
thirsting after designated spot
taking recourse from the sheltering sky
and the strong arm of the law
to defecate within veritable no man's land
or empty bladder
where all creatures bright and beautiful,
and all things wise and wonderful
maybe even George Washington
slept there and upon waking peed
starting a tradition
where subsequent founding fathers
essentially birthed porta potties,
the primay drawback
being an unavoidable "Queed"
the past tense of the verb "queue,"
meaning to form or wait in a line
eventually getting an education viz read
ding about learning the latest scoop
qua talking politics and/or being a traitor
whispering under cover of darkness
forewarning the enemy
(since being stripped naked
in preparation to bathe in the waters,
no differentiating friend from foe).

The following poem posted about a half hour before the bewitching hour that spelled calamity (which though a freaky Friday the thirteenth) did (nor does) not find me exceptionally superstitious, and rather than wait for the morrow, I feel so pent up with aggravation concerning chronic checking account issues linkedin to Citizens Bank a need for a healthy distraction finds me sharing a tragi-comic combination of contusions upon body electric of mine at that time a forty year old father of two young daughters.

Once again tis time to saddle ye dear reader and pony up, giddy-up and and trot out (absent neigh saying - without horsing around) an unforgettable day encompassing a series of unfortunate events (so take that Lemony Snicket! - yeah go ahead and picket and enlist Jiminy Cricket!).

Wicked bad day poem
originally crafted, designed, engineered...
then alternately titled
for no particular rhyme nor reason:
unwitting courtesy extended
to Doctor Donald (Duck) Dossey  
who coined paraskevidekatriaphobia.

Bowed over in supine position
yours truly (me) did deign
upon the vagaries of ill fates
that did inextricable entwine
where superstitious phenomena
slammed like the dickens
and severely tested across fineline
doggedly gingerly jinxing luck of mine
August thirteenth nineteen hundred and ninety nine
forever etched in the annals of my personal infamy
as one still sending hair raising shivers down my spine
which following unpleasant details occurred on a street
that branched off kind of like a fork tine
adjacent to one named Woodbine.

Prior to the following awful events
that unfolded aforementioned day
somewhat solemn and gray
I did not consider myself unduly superstitious
nor prone to bouts of triskaidekaphobia/
paraskevidekatriaphobia  no how no way.

Yet that particular Friday
the thirteenth baptized me
in the ****** waters of superstition unequivocally
whence upon waking said particular morning
the search for funereal garb found me
burrowing into a small closet  
while bending on one wounded knee,
and nonchalantly rummaging
for suitable article of clothing to wear
(per the wake/
sitting shiva of William Zison
the octogenarian father in law)
an unbeknownst ill fate
lurked just seconds away
ready to cap cha an innocent prey
as any unseen observer
and/or pet would agree.

Hands rifled and rustled
thru various and sundry
miscellaneous items in one or another box
mostly clothing and other apparel
draped in coat hangers
plus a precariously perched
heavy tin of yarn heavy as rocks
began to teeter from top ledge,
than made a slow inexorable descent
in direct path of thy crown
containing valued mental stocks.

Unbeknownst to me Grim
the Reaper hoped to score
spelling my demise qua life or limb
the topmost part of thine skull
felt impact of sharp metallic rim
that left an indentation in soft part of scalp –
more’n an abrasive skim
and bent circular shape
of contrivance filled to the hilt
one law of physics pertaining
to falling object (taught to me)
acquires greater mass
accelerating with velocity and vim.

Upon reflexively yet tentatively
touching raw sore spot
fingertips revealed presence of warm liquid
soon coagulating into a pulpy gordian knot
from sharp lipped impact registering nausea
and vertigo quite a lot
hence sewing crafts managed to stitch
a tattooed laceration forming a ****** clot.

Body writhed with physical torment
as if being only partially alive
whereby waves of blacking
or passing out found me swooning
ready to take a swan dive
nonetheless from Schwenksville
to Penn Valley, I did
(by divine grace) safely drive
whence family members and relatives
once destination reached, the motley crue
began organized carpool arrangements
per heading off to the cemetery,
which caravan formation  
similar to a human bee hive,
yours truly declined to go
communicating persistent distress from mishap
I bowed wowed out, stayed home
and kept company with a dog
(purportedly man’s best friend)
(said pet belonging to a friend
of eldest sister in law),
whose open palmed overtures
of mine did not jive.

An impulse found fingers reaching out
to stroke this unfamiliar animal
supposedly man’s best friend
only to find sharp teeth from canine jaw
clamped down ******* hand
which second ****** injury,
my mother affixed a butterfly bandage
to expedite the injury to mend,
I did immediately tend
nursing injuries inside
the time yours truly did spend
while bolts of white hot pain
shot thru lower extremity of palm
radiated upward through forearm
into shoulder did wend.

of one mortal university
undergraduate built in madly
the brainchild of one Forest Hadley
an a Ford able game paid top dollar
after being purchased by Milton Bradley
called Dodge the Old Farts.

A favorite game I (and the wife) play
here at Highland Manor originated
by yours truly (me) and the spouse
soon after we moved here
eight years ago July first
two thousand and twenty five,
and entails a bit of strategy
and skulduggery to avoid
the poor sniveling souls.

We slink and slither along the halls
of what used to be Schwenksville Elementary School,
a building erected in 1969,
repurposed as a low income facility
for indigent and disabled
penniless senior citizen bankers.

The habitual behavior of each resident
(including me - a fluffless matted
married Scottish Unitarian,
who writes these words)
can be predictable after espying
each and every one of us
exiting from or returning
to their/our respective apartment unit
and take appropriate preemptive measures
to avoid crossing paths
with a wheezing geezer,
which near impossible mission
to avoid a close encounter
of the third eye blind kind
and I would zealously, personally,
and gladly willingly allow, enable
and provide myself
to get voluntarily abducted
by an extraterrestrial
from the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
where dark shadows
signal the edge of night.

As a for instance
unspoken and unwritten coda
when passing a fellow tenant
in the hallway or elsewhere on the property
without acknowledging the old fogey
perhaps gnawing on an unlit stogie
(since Highland Manor Apartments
purportedly a smoke free environment)
courtesy a friendly hello
essentially blatantly ignoring hypothetical resident
registered as a fait accompli for insubordination
within the historical contractual obligation
established and signed with blood
upon first setting foot within the premises
(even on the periphery of the border
demarcating property brothers demesne)
recorded as ***** deeds
done dirt cheap accordingly
and hashtagged with a black mark
as a major flagrant violation of lease
and legal grounds to be sent
to the most strict penal penitentiary
punished with ****** solitude for life,
which for one generic solitudinarian
christened Matthew Scott Harris,
(who also considers himself
a latitudinarian, nonestablishmentarian,
sexangenarian and Unitarian),
would be considered
a stately and heavenly lock haven
surrounded by pristine
waters of Lake Woebegone
that power a gristmill,
where the inmates
process powder milk biscuits.

Though hyperbole incorporated
regarding the above couched
subliminal messages bearly written between the lions,
I do attest that many of the senior citizens
here at above named
low income housing facility
if felt snubbed automatically
lament being ignored and feel indignant
against whoever chooses
not to reciprocate
courtesy a pleasant superficial
friendly seasons greeting
and takes as a personal affront
not being recognized
as a very important person.

About fourteen and a half years
before my birth,
yours truly not even a twinkle  
in the eyes of his then
young father and mother
the former born April 9th 1929,
while the latter would be turning ten
that upcoming November 13th
living in destitution
with her three older siblings
(in proximity to then prosperous Coney Island)
emotionally devastated crying unabashedly
when she returned to espy absent building
as a wife for countless years
to glimpse the absence of domicile
she occupied until marriage
to the Arthur Murruy star student
who became lifelong husband
wedded just a month shy of fifty years,
who knows maybe faintly linked
to the demise of ovarian/uterine cancer
that wrought havoc
within body electric of Harriet Harris
scored a victory for the grim reaper
and ushered the horror of warfare.

Given the nuclear weaponry arsenal today
August 6th 2025, chock a block
nuclear weapons of mass destruction
could deliver near global extinction
of complex life forms
across the webbed wide world,
whereat the human league
mere seconds from
the doomsday clock striking midnight  
our collective ability
as genus and species **** sapiens
to wreak total mortal kombat
and lay waste major metropolitan areas
would make unleashing atomic warfare
synonymous with the ways and means
to annihilate, decimate, eliminate, et cetera
avast swath of the biosphere untenable, nevertheless...

Once again, I take momentary pause
to contemplate horrific event
regarding unleashed atomic warfare
activated courtesy nuclear brinkmanship,
trumpeted by belligents putin on the ritz,
hence time to trot out a poem
written initially some years ago
courtesy yours truly.

Robert Oppenheimer
(Julius Robert Oppenheimer
an American theoretical physicist)
manned "The Manhattan Project", 
a top secret World War II mission,                   
which constituted "Little Boy" codename
for a uranium gun-type
atomic bomb dropped at 0815
exploded 580 metres above civilians
with 15 kiloton blast yield
reduced 400 year old city to dust
Colonel Paul Tibbets,
the pilot/ bombardier
of the Enola Gay,
(the Boeing B-29 Superfortress
unleashed nuclear warfare
eighty years ago from date of poem)
gives cause for this baby boomer to revisit
mentally, the annihilation,
extermination, incineration, obliteration...
when the first of
two storied Japanese enclaves
pulverized vividly underscores
how trifling my current
mental health issues,
nevertheless avowedly exacerbated
with anxiety, dysthymia, hysteria, melancholia...  
(from figurative northern exposure
courtesy twin peaks)
contrasted with sinister mushroom cloud
birthed courtesy thermonuclear reaction
malevolent evil tower ushered
thermonuclear age epitomizing
coup d'état nada so graceful
spelled maximum radiation fallout,
videlicet collateral military mutilation
though unwelcome vision wielded hell,
instantaneous maelstrom poised
mankind to be cured, roasted, skewered
analogous as burnt offerings
subsequent generations of victims
who survived atrocious, egregious, hellacious,
judicious slaughter can only
poorly be described
by this mortal with incurable
bacterial/viral malignant infections
aghast at such wanton killing,
more-so twenty first century
civilization and its discontents    
pack a judicious sucker punch
via devastatingly powerful armaments
now exist weapons of mass destruction
by manifold magnitudes more grisly
than those "experimental" bombs
loosed upon the innocent population,
whereby 75,000 people
killed or fatally injured
with 65% of casualties
nine years of age and younger,
whence offspring of survivors
evinced excessive genetic anomalies 
with fiery windy surface
(think towering infernos)
temperatures topping 4,000°C 
upon terrain hallowed by ghastly
horrible deathly dominance
impressing silhouettes of victims
analogous to dark shadows
amidst razed structural remnants
ground zero birthed
sinister mushroom cloud
wickedly, ominously, and eerily loomed.

As iterated above
weapons of mass destruction
defined as a chemical, biological,
radiological, nuclear, or any other weapon
that can **** or significantly harm many people
far greater potential
exceeding innocent lives lost
courtesy one warhead
than cumulative deaths
triggered by all battles to date
or cause great damage
to artificial structures,
natural structures, or the biosphere
an inescapable fact of life
and potential looming fait accompli
as one antagonist
could annihilate another
contaminating, decimating,
obliterating, pulverizing...
sabotaging great swaths
of webbed wide world
in the process.

and boyish sexagenarian
with similar disposition,
I revel(ed) reading in general
(and spent carefree idle summer days
squirreled away with tomes
of posthumous authors)
buoyed aloft in seventh heaven
courtesy the treasure trove of books
occupying shelf space
within childhood home
at 324 Level Road
(long since razed to the ground)
and indulged passion
for the written word
as independent learning,
and both parents encouraged
voracious appetite for knowledge of mine
to explore great works of literature,
whereat hours whiled away
scrunched up with storied authors
as yours truly let his imagination
run free and clear especially
while paging thru the shenanigans
of Huckleberry Finn in particular
which constituted an etymological journey
rowing my figurative boat
into the vernacular backwaters
of Mark Twain's Hannibal Missouri
(where life is but a dream),
and at his crafting a close approximation
regarding the patois and lingual nuances
how enfranchised population spoke
pitting yours truly
with a near impossible mission
to furrow my brows and voice out loud
my futile attempt
to pronounce tongue twisters,
nevertheless while mouthing
and reading confounding words
experiencing a transcendent state
with not a care in the world.

Though a product
of the second half mid-twentieth
and thus far first quarter
of the twenty first century,
a nostalgia figuratively tugs
at my heart strings
(not only for remembrance
of things past),
but also hankering
for a time when the leisurely pace
of life plodded along
the boulevard of broken dreams
comfortably, gamesomely and lasciviously tepid
as exemplified by three prudish television shows
of the nineteen sixties
such as Mayberry R.F.D.,
The Brady Bunch, and The Family Affair,
but also additionally, an innocence
pervaded society whereby the wonderment
of natural wildlife
(courtesy Mutual of Omaha -
pitch man Marlin Perkins)
surprised, enlightened, and astounded me
essentially one cocooned
solitary passive aggressive boy
enamored by the simple life
such as that represented
by The Twilight Zone episode
"A Stop at Willoughby"
(Season 1, Episode 30)
about Gart Williams,
an advertising executive who,
overwhelmed by the pressures
of his job and home life,
finds solace in a recurring dream
of a peaceful, idyllic town
called Willoughby from the 1880s.

He becomes increasingly obsessed
with this dream,
eventually choosing to "stop" at Willoughby
a fictitious self imagined place in reality,
which tragically leads to his death
when he jumps from a moving train,
whereat the locomotive propelling the cars
could be synonymous
(or symbolizes) the frenetic pace of life.

and all things considered,
broadcast on national public radio
Frequency: 90.9WHYY-FM,
I (a liberal democrat)
counted myself as an avid fan
particularly listening to
the prairie home companion
during half life of mine
arbitrarily referenced yardstick
of one measly mortal male
Matthew Scott Harris,
whose chronological years
athwart planet earth
elapsed within figurative
or literal eye blink,
one humble human
among rank and file
cosmic flotsam and jetsam,
a veritable fluke of the universe
even in the third eye blind
of supposed benevolent creator
hashtagged us as "Rink-a-****."

To denote time frame
of average human existence
such as mine
from conception to demise
the former quietly fêted
as first time young parents clink
their wine glasses together
before person manning masculine role
quaffs a longer draught
when seminal occasion
(attested and indicated
by presence of pregnancy hormone hCG
(human chorionic gonadotropin)
in the body expectant mother/fatherhood
when extrapolated, jump/kick started,
and genealogy relegated **** sapiens
over populated the Earth
Until an unspecified time in the future
when aforementioned genus and species
will mete just desserts and become extinct.

Thus far I completed
about two thirds of totally tubular orbitz
around mister sun
before grim reaper slated to arrive
meanwhile, I muscled and elbowed,
albeit passive aggressive
hustle and bustle
feigning a(n) self important existence
and will confidently risk a wager
(betting free drinks on the house)
attesting each of ourselves
analogously take center stage
as the most vital earthling
while maintaining precarious balance,
whereby propensity to proliferate progeny
past the tipping point
whereby carrying capacity
of billions of people
an inconvenient truth
will accelerate total mortal kombat
global internecine warfare,
the twenty first civilization
now teetering on the brink
spelling the absolute zero chance
for a comeback,
when rabid mobs of madding crowds
overtake societal mandates for law and order
which arbitrated, executed, and inculcated
storied establishmentarian parameters
heavily policed to legislate
against violent crime
nevertheless despite enforcement
of legal unanimous precepts
particularly against non-citizens of United States,
where capital punishment
doth trumpet depredations
and especially deportations
where undocumented immigrants
considered more serious transgressions
versus machinations against thou shalt not ****,
no matter stoop labor
within agribusinesses and slaughterhouses
where nasty, shortish and brutal livelihoods
decimate husbands, wives,
and underage stoop workers
essentially child labor.

The veritable pith and marrow
of back breaking and dangerous industries
girded courtesy that class of immigrants
relegated as outsiders forever and anon
with unswerving sacrifice pitch their welfare
(and tacitly accept risk to life and limb)
while buzzfeeding the manufacturing industrial complex
no doubt enriching the coffers of aristocrats
living social among the jet setting pack.

Born and bred in the buckeye state of sin
(since a natty nattering nabob of negativism)
within the outer limits of the twilight zone,
where dark shadows bathed the edge of night
into surreal scenes of macabre
skull and crossbones
signalled inauspicious dangerfields,
there I felt hashtagged, ostracized
and shunned courtesy
nursing an inferiority complex,
wherein father and mother of mine
both wary stars
(videlicet lapsed government issued Jedi Jews)
added insult to injury
by baptizing yours truly
and two twisted sisters of mine
linkedin to Unitarian Universalist dogma
(a worse fate versus being held captive
and ogled after surviving kamikaze landing
as a crash test dummy
courtesy Extravehicular Mobility Unit
and subsequently unfairly showcased me
as an extraterrestrial from an alien nation),
nevertheless experiencing
ideally matched upbringing
better suited to characters
in "The Outcasts of Poker Flat,"
hence no surprise I flagged down
hovering Unidentified Aerial Phenomena
and eager trod
upon the Scottish welcome mat
unfurled for me to be taken away
while Portsmouth Sinfonia
played Hallelujah in the background
synchronized as groovy saucer shaped spaceship
flashed lights displayed an explicit message
heavily expletive punctuated,
but of course outsize kaleidoscope
only whet an appetite where motley crew
clamored to bully their way
and unfortunately getting tasered
as talking heads experienced futility
could barely restrain the madding crowd.

as guns of b23 got silenced
amidst rubble strewn landscape
and smoldering ruins
reverberating to the sounds of hells bells
signalling bedlam among the highland manor,
where trigger happy, churlish, foo fighting,
gunslinging grenade lobbing hoodlum,
who maniacally and blindly fired
and indiscriminately tossed off explosives
(despite sporting a lame arm)
point blank yet laughably
and thankfully way off the mark
(like a *** pistol half cocked
that prematurely ******* blanks)
while strategically situated
(and precariously perched
from his motorized wheelchair)
analogous to a loose cannon
doth run rampant and ballistic.

state troopers manned their stations
as hillbilly loosed
one fusillade after another
chickensh*t beastie boy
super tramped cheap trick
enlisted one or more of the nine lives
incarnated as Felis catus
otherwise known as
Corbin the Tuxedo cat
left homeless after owner
unwittingly killed in the ensuing melee
(renamed Morris after being adopted
from the Hinsdale Humane Society)
donning a bullet proof vest,
and trumpeting Mötley Crüe
of cheesy Mouseketeers,
who brazenly switched
(rather than fight)
and pledged unflagging allegiance
to strong arm of the law,
which plug for undercover Sting operation
a euphemism
for the men/women in blue
otherwise known as the Police
believe me will cain able eyes rights.

how long the armistice lasts
would be anybody's guess who
might do well accessing
the seekers of truth
and/or talking heads
to the moody blues culture club
of uniformed bobbing men
rem burr those axle lent ELOquent
and cheap tricked out twisted sister hood
known as beatle browed monkeys
serve as the bono fide cure nay kiss,
and remove or the idée fixe
will be hired as bonafide
from ranks of the public enemy
albeit inxs of dire straits
from bad company and open doors,
whereby alice in chains
adorned in a suit of deep purple metallica
contributed to the ongoing musical genesis
videlicet rage against the machine
with styx, guns n roses
or recount fields of korn
swaying in the breeze
on a chicago summer day in linkin park
awash with a flock of seagulls
akin no doubt too reveling
in nirvana of idol lick three dog night
inviting blood, sweat and tears
while heartfelt coldplay
creams barenaked ladies
hosted by lady gaga
to help fools on the hill
side step any puddle of mudd
while searching
for one 38 special beastie boy
resembling the boss eponymous “blondie”
hostess in a crowded house with aerosmith
boston, cinderella, foreigner,
kansas – in toto - and pink floyd
and the wordy goo goo dolls
resembling indigo girls,
who via flying among madonna
lovin spoonful sized eagles
accompanying cars
three doors down from the beach boys
that zz top hatted doubting thomas
petty full and men without hats
donned prison garb as the killers.

Yours truly and the wife
tended to some errands,
which included going
to the Limerick,
Pennsylvania Citizens Bank
for me to rectify
an erroneous address
indicating I Matthew Harris
purportedly and presently domiciled at:
96 West Miner Street
(and whereinthehellis)
Coaldale, Pennsylvania
18218-1017
which address listed after viewing
online banking screen
indicating Good morning,
afternoon or evening,
then scrolling down
to sought after preference selecting
either checking or savings account
then clicking on View
Statements in Document Center
subsequently choosing
timeframe, account and type),
while the spouse
patiently waited in a hot car,
(slightly more comfortable
than a cat on a hot tin roof)
then going to ALDI'S, GIANT
(the latter place
to dump off paper for recycling
and making a beeline to purchase items
in the clearance section),
felt sorely disappointed,
when a series of unfortunate events
(even Lemony Snicket
would have been dumbfounded)
occurred when earlier today
and last least on the agenda
found me headed
at the Royersford, Pennsylvania Wawa
for what I envisioned being
a mouthwatering (yellow) "submarine"
or just "sub" the general term
for both the bread roll and sandwiches
made with it in both the USA
and other English speaking nations
and lastly Wawa
right there in Royersford
felt jinxed cause we
(hungry enough to eat a horse),
could not purchase
(what both of us imagined to be)
our delectable aforementioned sandwiches
which DID NOT
find me being thee unsung hero
(regarding a damsel in distress)
actually courtesy using the EBT
(electronic benefits transfer)
SNAP food card declined part of the sale,
nor could I access (withdraw) funds
using a recently issued debit card,
when the spouse gave me a dour
****** recognition expression
(and she feigned pouting like a child),
cause her husband
could not head back to the house
at Pooh Corner
with aforementioned treasured commestible
already finding us salivating
like Pavlov's dog,
which dude (who looks like a lady,
with sweet emotion,
especially after washing
and drying my hair) came back
to the car empty handed.

in unrelenting deep purple Depeche Mode crisis...

the yeast you could do
for a crusty and crabby old man,
(who I know
like the back of my clawed hand),
albeit well bred wordsmith doth wonder,
whose person analogously baited
courtesy being at the receiving end
of one after another phishing schemes
whereat identity thieves stole
loot linkedin with checking account
making out like Smokey and the Bandits
appellation Matthew Scott Harris
whose finances compromised and rent asunder,
hence, he desperately needs
for peace of mind to bolster meager funds
by hook or crook
scaring up dough or bread
cuz he doth really knead
to get himself out of the red
even in an attempt to garner pocket change
courtesy when a Facebook messenger
did send him (meaning me) Zelle provisions,
he (I) went on a wild goose chase
unwittingly and to be truthfully honest,
yours truly subsequently hoisted himself
with one's (his) own petard
invariably "victimized
or hurt by his own scheme."

Unbeknownst to the writer of these words
if he can connive videlicet
raking in some bucks
and celebrate quaffing White Zinfandel
broadcasting desperate need for moolah
other than by a rebel yell
(calling upon necessity,
the mother of invention
to plant seed of acquiescence)
analogous to toss a coin into a wishing well
within the mind of countless readers
who at the least give me credit for trying
to compose prose like freestyle
versus following the dictate
and mandate of say a villanelle
who do not dismiss my cents less twattle
but avoid being dilatory
and lo and behold respond "Mach schnell"
gift mine panic stricken state and quell
such agitation by buzzfeeding
nattering nabob of nativity
paying me in the equivalent
of money strongly resembling
chocolate tin foil covered pizzelle
despite thoughts ricocheting pell-mell
humor the best medicine in a nutshell
in my mind to cope with adversity
never experienced by Matty Mattel
whereat the character "Matty"
from the Mattel logo
not invented by a specific individual;
rather, the character derived
from the name of the company, Mattel,
which itself is a combination
of the names of Mattel co-founders,
Harold Matson and Elliot Handler;
they also agreed to include serrated seal logo,
designed in 1955, featured a small boy
wearing a crown, who got named Matty,
referencing the company's name
which female counterpart
to above toy named "Labelle"
a French term, meaning
"the beautiful one" (feminine)
often used as a nickname,
particularly in the context
of beauty or attractiveness.

The species and genus
known as **** sapiens
predominated across the webbed wide world
for tens of thousands of years
until many brain children teamed together,
(though nevertheless select individuals
such as Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble
contributed, the initial vision
and much of the core technology
from Amazon's internal development efforts)
birthing Alexa Echo.

I got my hands on one
courtesy Bill Thurman,
a genuine bluebeard and outlier
of the rough and tumble sort
now residing at Highland Manor Apartments.
Matter of fact his generosity legion
and legends of his good samaritan
***** deeds done dirt cheap
prevail across the Deep South
of the United States.

I do not know how we
(either as individuals
or collectively humankind)
managed to flourish
without the voice-controlled computer concept.

Technology in general
and key innovations in particular
witnessed a quantum leap
within the artificial intelligence realm
fostered by Jeff Bezos at the helm,
which billionaire financed
the (ahem) artificial insemination of Alexa.

Though Amazon never revealed
who provided the default female voice
that responds to commands
and questions given to Alexa,
the author Brad Stone
said he identified the voice as Rolle’s
after “canvasing the professional voiceover community”
for his new book, Amazon Unbound:
Jeff Bezos and the Invention
of a Global Empire.

The above sentence courtesy the Guardian
and aired here cuz yours truly
considers the synthesized voice
(though linkedin and principally
associated to Nina Rolle,
who must be rolling
in the legally tendered green),
an extremely pleasing aural experience.

Time and again after I asked her a question,
she most often responded with articulation,
enunciation, intonation, optimization,
pronunciation, amd utilization
of vowels and consonants,
which sounded like music to my ears
more literate than yours truly (me)
an avid wordsmith and 'po witless
Caucasian, latitudinarian, nonestablishmentarian,
sexagenarian, and Unitarian,
who refined his chops
courtesy self sequestration
reading a gamut of material
that spanned a range
of genres and authors
(considered the greatest works
of English literature),
and he painstakingly practiced
hearing himself speak out loud
in front of a large audience
of Norwegian Bachelor Farmers
while they enjoyed eating a batch
of homemade powder milk biscuits
a recipe handed down
from mother to daughter
since time immemorial.

Ax chilly (actually),
a quirk of fate that found me
(one of countless chaps
named Matthew Scott Harris -
cuz I did a Google search
of said first, middle and surname,
and wrote a poem to boot)
listening to the Prairie Home Companion
(aired within my hometown
from six to eight o'clock on a Saturday night,
and rebroadcast that new Sunday)
religiously and chuckling to myself
at homespun humor of Garrison Keillor,
a paper thin soothing voice,
especially delightful
when a hush descended
upon thee imagined audience,
and his extemporaneous news
from Lake Wobegon spoken sotto voce.

Language draws my fancy,
and cobbling together words
without extensive forethought
and if there could be
part time paid employment
regarding threading appealing
nouns, verbs, direct object(s), et cetera,
no matter whether the wage
far less than a storied author,
one poor baby boomer,
(who currently lives hand to mouth
within Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
with the wife)
would be in an atheist version
and slice of heaven.

A worse hellish fate than perdition
and the closest in the throes
of agonizing death scene rendition
stabbing sphincter muscle spasms
wrench yours truly
analogous to contortionist,
who presents convincing torturous scenario
even absent primal screams
readers or eavesdroppers
envisioning his twisting and writhing
as if body frankly zapped
courtesy jolted electric tradition,
(cuz these intestinal blockages
happen time and again)
even after applying **** ******.

At least forty eight hour time span
lapsed whereby big boy wanted to cry
explaining how yours truly
felt he would die
an undertaking malaise
found me experiencing
physical duress vis a vis,
a bowel movement,
wherein waste unable to expel
from the **** of this guy,
which bout with ****** obstruction
found me doubled over
with lower abdominal distress,
whereby comfort found me unable to lie
down nor sit upright
(even with back padded with pillows
against the cellar brick wall),
thus severe bloating a bonus well nigh
and managed on a previous occasion
at the original date of this posting
to muster the means to compliment
barenaked ladies,
who freeze off their duff
and sweat gallons to boot
braving elements of style
to rectify getting **** unstuck
despite burning buns upon blazing saddles
or frigid arctic vortex aire respectively,
yours truly whether
playing roles of doctor and patient
undertaking home remedies
to expedite impossible mission to defecate
within the comfort
of climate controlled domicile,
I braced myself
against abdominal pain to purchase
the Acme brand Metamucil,
which akin to Drano doth ply
thru the excretory tract
supposedly loosening the stools,
which optimism (product
didst earn claim to fame) generated a sigh
if that expressed intent
to cease LivingSocial would try
humph enjoining this lxvi year old married male
to cede victory to the grim reaper, who would vie
as winner de jure
to this common fellow invoking libretto
ohm resistant understudy waste not want not
allowing, enabling and providing relief,
without successful defecation
despite the oppressive urge to bolster this Uriah
Heep of balled up and tuckered out
five foot and ten inches of lovely bones,
thence mouthing retraction
of former thought to cease existing
though a non-bull lever
in any power broker qua mankind
relief at long last
provided posterior answered prayer
yet, this wordsmith
scrutinizes his recurring
pain in the *** jagged torture
and asks a rhetorical
one word question "WHY"?

As of early July 9th, 2025
I finally move bowels barely but...
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
stasis of lower bowel found yours truly
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony
as if elephant or red (livid with rage)
bull ****** his tusk into mine ****
ah...voila... hence subsequently
I tout over the counter ****** relief
while suffering nates issues
blessed magic of laxatives
Amitiza, Dulcolax, and Miralax
relieving lower abdominal and ******
discomfort agonizing me dawn to dusk.

Upon swallowing first or second named laxative
or sprinkling Mix-in powder pack,
within 8+ ounces of water,
not aesthetically pleasing major drawback
foisting human waste heavy as a full coalsack
sometimes burned and scorched black
movement came swift, on par how fast
snaky Mister liquid Plumber doth attack
obstructed ***** bowl.

Well now... monumental poetic challenge,
I now craftily abbreviate
(think clogged toilet
synonymous with blockage)
waste matter after days did accumulate
ready to apply corkerasp
regarding ****** blockage to alleviate.

Imagine impossible airy mission to defecate
which debilitating scenario (mine) accursed fate
frequently recurring more often as yours truly ages
i.e. latter day saint Matthew Scott got older
****** affliction compromised me
ordinary easy going demeanor to boot    
disallowing, disenabling, and not permitting
me - effecting, emulating, and exhaling
Tony the tiger's catchword grrrrrreat
if queried about my constitution
when alas... absolute zero ecstasy found me
expelling bowel movement with effort
weighing approximately 0.71428571 stone
though relieved, nevertheless
the toilet bowl clogged,
prompting me to correct historical records
on two accounts despite
causing potential ruckus
disaster buffs may incriminate
nsync notion huge bowel movement
(mine) took down (analogous
voyage to bottom of sea) toto Lusitania
and actually additionally
caused separate incident
complex edifice (think Titanic)
both sturdy ships of state
former rendered, lifted, foundered...
latter purportedly crashing
into iceberg mate.

Lemme explain the essence of a corkerasp
the brainchild of our then grade school
eldest (of two) born daughters,
now grown to womanhood
and healthy as an oxymoron.

Whenever constipation a pain in the ***
just maneuver this lightweight
metal contrivance made of brass
no matter if anybody
considers this action crass
apply corkscrew motion up the
alimentary canal to remove waste
which most likely will be
thick like petrified paste
stuck deep inside bowels of the
sphincter muscles and solidly encased
causing severe cramps within
lower gastrointestinal tract
inducing one to wince nonstop
from being with ***** matter packed
and no amount of primal groaning
didst loose this hard fact
nor does imagery of freed ****
ease the **** plight
no laughing matter despite how absurd
squeezing does nothing even
applying all inner might
thus necessary to incorporate
unnatural intervention to unclog
****** blockage + uncomfortable bloating
swelling **** the size of a hog
disabling barely any ease to stand let alone jog,
yet tis essential per extricating
what feels like one swallowed a log
lest epitaph induce possible eulogy
possibly spoken the language of Prague
every ounce of effort
required to bend
over gingerly affixing
plunger end of device
to business rear end
best accompanied with close
companion or friend
since ***** deed done dirt
cheap trick will ideally rend
rock solid excrement to roll
and release crashing sound sent
upon the bathroom floor
possibly inducing seismic
waves less or more
whereby toilet bowl water will pour
over the sides akin to
white caps near sea shore
without doubt all the while
gluteus maximus extremely sore.

Summation of achievements
wrought absolute zero
pridefulness to self -
a veritable highstrong yoyo
(lame at walking the dog)
a solitudinarian devoid of xoxo
methinks (writer of these words)
Hebrew a legacy of woe
courtesy self apathy
expanding across his mein kampf
on a broader scale
analogous to predicted fallout from Project 2025,
where resultant mayhem
will trigger widespread societal upheaval
upending progressive socialism
videre licet flick of the wrist veto
where democracy writhes vis a vis death throw
signature of forty seventh president
of the United States,
the septuagenarian who trumpets hegemony,
and dons hat of dictator carte blanche
a caricature of a contortionist
trotting out dog and pony show
the former a growling
super gnasher tooth flasher
(actual name of a book title
written by Daniel Pinkwater
and featured on Reading Rainbow
Episode 8 in Season 7
and originally aired on March 28, 1990),
which year a tad less than my half-life ago
when this "Froggie Went a Courtin'"
an amphibious embarkation  
whereat yours truly pitched hither and yon,
to and fro within a tempestuous relationship
with the then girlfriend
who visited me at 324 Level Road
(the vestige of Glen Elm Estate
whittled down to about a half dozen acres
with trace of formal gardens
long since reclaimed by mother nature
as overgrown woodland)
my boyhood domicile,
but became a permanent fixture
within the Harris household
constantly assailing me
to pledge my troth
after we already
consummated consensual coitus
aptly enough at the
Evansburg Park residence of Steve Cummings
(principally prompted with reckless abandon
by unsheathed phallus)
******* occurred countless times,
though devoid of mutual (of Omaha)
fundamental ******* prolongation
courtesy hair trigger minute man of mine,
which got fired
from his miniscule silo
discovering seminal virility sometime
around mid March of nineteen ninety six
when we became ensnared in the parent trap
on a freaky Friday - the ides of March
where we bickered over
what to name the unborn child
gender revealed at ultrasound
during the second trimester,
typically between eighteen
and twenty two weeks of pregnancy,
but by the second trimester,
the baby's genitals are developed enough
for the sonographer
to identify the *** with reasonable certainty,
which bouncing baby girl
set the wife on buying sprees
at upscale thrift stores within environs
around 2700 Elroy Avenue Hatfield,
which afforded a grand view
of a meat processing plant
the first apartment complex
we moved into after pledging our troth
yours truly designated as a forerunner
to quasi proto doordash
heavily patronizing Boston Market
temporarily escaping vocalizing future star student
who also tested her pipes
when we settled down to sleep
all three of us crammed upon a crib mattress
keeping the bedroom door closed
a minor inconvenience
against an undeterred plague of water bugs,
whose population kept in check
by sprinkling borax powder
underneath sink, where they throve
within the warm and damp plumbing fixtures.

(even Mary Poppins would tout
a plug for said company she would spout
forcing playthings scattered helter skelter
retreating into their respective bins
analogous to a defeated army
beating a hasty retreat after a major rout
against all odds fighting off
the aggressive incursion
of a trumpeting lout,
which troops use weapon of choice
namely breath issuing "*****"
which in German, "*****"
primarily means herb
or the leaves and stem
of a plant, as opposed to the root,
also used in compound nouns
to refer to various cabbage products,
most notably Sauerkraut,
which is fermented white cabbage.

Additionally, "*****"
can be a derogatory slang term
for Germans, similar to how "Frogs"
used for the French,
according to The Guardian).
which accolades vocalized
on behalf of a company
whose sturdy products
helped transform the wife
from a potential candidate
of Hoarders buried alive
into a rival for the Odd Couple
neatnik character Felix Unger
though room for improvement
the spouse tries to abide
by the phrase
"a place for everything
and everything in its place"
an idiom that promotes
organization and orderliness,
where maximizing the space
afforded by a one bedroom apartment
here at Highland Manor
taught us the necessity
of maintaining an ever closer approximation
to becoming the reigning queen
of **** and span
affected by the mandates of management
(reinforced by dictates
of urban housing for low income
linkedin to yearly "violations")
toward instilling acquiring
"the model tenant award"
by regular inspections
which if I ruled the world
would include a month of free rent
as an extra incentive
leaving no room
for the likes of Oscar Madison,
which objective becoming
neat and tidy truth be told
finds me relishing living
according to the gospel
of several people offering
decluttering and organization methods
similar to Marie Kondo's KonMari approach,
focusing on simplifying and creating
a more joyful living space.

Some notable figures
include Gretchen Rubin,
known for her
"Outer Order, Inner Calm"
philosophy, and The Home Edit duo,
Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin,
who emphasize visual organization.

Other methods, like Swedish Death Cleaning
and Peter Walsh's approach,
also offer alternative strategies
for decluttering and organizing one's home.

one of whom would be
this married sexagenarian,
who recently acquired
his Senior Fare Card
courtesy Trump's big beautiful bill
dog days of summer
will experience big beautiful chill
videre licet courtesy
slated budget cuts
intimating a worse fate
than getting root canal,
whereby militant dentist
woulf blithely recount his days
as oil rig employee
when he/she uttered the phrase
let us drill baby drill
without anesthesia testing tolerance
of patient to withstand and weather
blistering pain threshold
proving laughable reputation
of ineradicable irascible self
to be indomitable macho man
proving the myth of superman
lives within yours truly
a lifelong ambition of mine to fulfill
despite Sisyphean bone crunching
true grit teeth gnashing laborious process
as flour doth get ground within gristmill,
which grievance best taken to Capitol Hill
where ice cream for Jack and Jill
but nobody hears me
the fool on the hill
trucking, peddling, and naysaying
flavor of the month seasoned with krill
(don't knock it till you try it)
farmed from famed lake,
where plenty of fish
and seek reachers
once frolicked within
said body of freshwater
subjected to eutrophication
after toxic brew got poisoned
declared a superfund site
pungent putrid pox drained
basin subsequently relegated as a landfill
forever an eyesore devoid of wildlife
prospects for resuscitation
of thriving habitat
back to former glory days
and haven for flora and fauna
non-existent or nil
similar to forestalling
or reversing prospect
leaving countless commuters
within southeastern Pennsylvania
(come beginning Aug. 24,
when more than 30 bus routes
will be eliminated citywide)
seriously impacting (upending)
the lives and livelihoods
of people who solely depend
on public transportation
to reach their destination,
whether that be school or work,
which frantic pandemonium
will find metropolitan citizens
of Philadelphia going berserk,
whereat commander in White House
sports (analogous to Cheshire Cat,
or the Grinch who stole Christmas) a smirk
happy as a clam economic doldrums will lurk.

Meanwhile some companies may go bust
dramatically spiking unemployment
currently experiencing
a 0.682% decrease in employment
from 2022 to 2023, dropping
from 286,000 to 284,000 employees,
but the looming shuttering
of a vital transportation hub
linkedin within the Delaware county may skyrocket
not only regarding those skilled technicians
and the industries that supply mechanical parts
but valuable individuals
linkedin to vehicular repair or career drivers,
plus industries supplying uniforms,
and office support staff who monitor safety.

signals the eighth year we lived
at our present location,
where fringe benefits (a plug) for perks
living at 2 highland manor drive.

Expanse of green acres draped
like a petticoat when ye arrive
birds of a feather flock together
and bees gather collect nectar,
pollen, and water to bolster their hive
verdant vista sports
spot for wildlife to thrive
such as; whitetail deer, Redd Foxx,
Easter bunnies (such as Peter Cottontail,
Osterhase (the German name),
and Peter Rabbit,
and the occasional garter snake
that shows up unexpectedly
within one bedroom apartment unit b44.

Not only state of the art plumbing
for public restrooms now in the works
but facilities at Highland Manor apartments
located in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
in the 19473 zip code
offers one bedroom and studio apartments
(built in 1969 with 84 units)
geared for sixty plus year old young Turks
adjacent to Maple Hill Community
abuts against pristine physical environment
offers (luscious green acres
at petticoat junction)
sporting residents such as yours truly
who would best be described
with individuals with their harmless quirks
far from the madding crowd,
yet linkedin to historical networks
sporting pleasant female management klerks
(a term, often a surname,
derived from the Dutch word
for "clerk" or "scribe")
though less ideal for couples
with young children,
who clamor to know howstuffworks
and might best visit
Valley Forge National Park
and amble along redoubts and earthworks
or if in the mood to drive
to visit Pennsylvania Dutch Country
(as a day tripper for a nowhere man)
head off to County Berks
home to an Old Order Mennonite community
consisting of about 160 families.

Classified as low income
(courtesy rural housing authority)
those whose finances pinched
can breathe a sigh of relief
at affordable rent
and if gifted with housing choice voucher
formerly known as section 8 -
the Housing Act of 1937,
often called Section 8,
as repeatedly amended,
authorizes the payment
of rental housing assistance
to private landlords on behalf
of low-income households
in the United States)
can rest assured said voucher accepted.

In 2007, Democrats took control
of the borough council for the first time
in the borough's history,
nevertheless Republicans
joust kick/jump start opponents to unseat:
Elderly population who reside on premises
each own a story to tell, who if prompted
would possibly eagerly respond
talking about a simpler way of life
such as yours truly,
who attended Henry Kline Boyer Elementary
each of the six grades
yours truly did nearly repeat
(one classroom per grade learning facility)
long since obsolete:
all manner of therapy animals accepted
but best to get permission
(with then property manager
Lisa Varley Wacker -
cause this blurb written about two years ago)
to house unusual pet such as lorikeet
for those unlearned folks said creature
a colorful and vibrant species of parrot
known for its distinctive beak
and tongue adaptations
that allow it to feed on pollen
and nectar from flowers:
Most residents sequestered
in their respective unit,
thus I infrequently witness
exhibit behavior hashtagged as indiscreet
with a total unit size of 43,575 Square Feet,
whereby a thin layer
of carpeting covers concrete
witnessing unsteady tenant
taking a tumble and bruises
their body doth accrete.

delivered me back in the dark shadows
and the underbelly of the web,
where impossible mission
to differentiate the outer limits
cast by edge of night
essentially rendering a twilight zone
where obscured criminal activity
clear as day in retrospect,
versus earlier this month
when yours truly gung **
obediently got a crash course
in cryptocurrency and electronic *******
blindsided to the Potemkin Village,
who never heeded the red flags
now forced me to revisit
nightmare scenario of pennilessness,
whereby an absentee vote
of no confidence in self awareness
guaranteed enthrallment back
to burglarious, nefarious, usurious loan sharks
ever since the latter part of June 2023,
when pseudonymous Harvey Specter
indelibly etched monetary fiasco
now marking
the second anniversary of debacle
present racket instigated
courtesy Donald Koons,
who steered gullible guy
into a worse fate than death.

Utter brainless nincompoop
in this poem heretofore addressing
I wanna be forever free
and clear from mortal anguish,
and need more than a blessing -
I need a miracle worker
or billionaire philanthropist after confessing
behavior of naïveté causing depressing
wretched state of mind
self incriminating admission expressing
emptying out checking
and savings accounts
not by my choosing
but the deviltry of Robin hood
and his merry band of outlaws
which include Little John,
Friar Tuck, Will Scarlet,
and Much the Miller's Son.

The importance of money
or lack thereof smarts,
especially when series
of unfortunate events
even Lemony Snicket,
would be flabbergasted
at such blatant and flagrant stupidity
exhibited courtesy yours truly.

Herr dummkopf did not function
with one iota of his brain
case in point entire
financial cushion he did drain
late June two thousand and twenty three,
where anonymous, barbarous, egregious,
ferocious, iniquitous jerks
re: cyber crooks enriched their coffers
in previous poems I did explain,
how yours truly got sucker punched
to surrender substantial capital
subsequently severe depression
washed over me like floodplain
after a major hurricane,
thus another shout out,
though I feel quite insane
to drum up buffer (in) zone
excedrin also sought
to bring temporary relief
far fetched likelihood in dough main
despite moon shot
to witness philanthropic boost,
I keep praying Meg Found
will pull thru and ordain
analogous to pinwheeling plane
(disaster from fraudster frazzled father)
one ordinarily perspicacious primate
who two years later still experiences
financially hardship that doth strain
and punctuated psyche
with moon efficient crater
whose sense of orientation
analogous to a spinning weathervane.

please oh lord brace and fix me with monetary salvation

After umpteen times being swindled
reducing me to abject poverty
psyche of mine
broke into a bajillion little pieces
much like Humpty Dumpty
grim outlook spells
forlorn and foregone conclusion,
thus I beseech
all knowing omniscient creator
to rescue me
from the pitfalls of eternal damnation,
where pendulum wildly swings
in one direction of doom
sabotaging sanity and solvency
wreaking havoc analogous
to kamikaze missionaries
intent on suicide missions
blasting dystopian fiery hellhole
loosing tenuous grip upon
ramparts of mental stability
maligning foolhardy behavior
guaranteeing surefire wreckage
abominable demons hellbent
to annihilate with brutal devastation
cents and sensibility
blitzkrieg makes mincemeat
feast for grim reaper
cue apropos soundtrack
where grateful dead
cavort with calamity, jollity
and rapacity of a Robinhood run amuck
robbing the poor
to enrich the gluttonous plutocrats
impossible mission to seize the day
when nary a handy dandy blue's clue extant
resigning yours truly
to live in a bleak house
imprisoning prodigal son
witnessing him spinning out
the days of his life as the world turns
reviling himself while flagellating
suppressing anguished cries of tortured soul
accepting deserved punishment
sentenced to ****** solitude
where cri de coeur falls on deaf ears
after he repeatedly though unwittingly
committed fraud against himself
depleting meager monetary resources
leaving bone dry balance
whereby corpse dangles lifelessly
come take a swing at body electric
left to hang for all posterity
as grim example
against being blindly inquisitive
indiscriminately clicking
arbitrary tabs on cellphone
and adversely exploiting
deliverance from the poor house
abandoned by the wife
for countless transgressions
less so of amorous infidelity
(although that too a factor
in meted out comeuppance)
alone in an emotional wilderness
he whiles away pitiful existence
growing old and feeble minded
housed within unit b44
not longer grooving to bliss
merely marking time
upon grime encrusted floor
a multipurpose space
doubling up as sleeping quarters
and evacuation of ****** waste
no longer caring
about keeping up appearances
cause nobody cares to visit
once upon a time fool on the hill
long forgotten from messengers of hope
thus consigned to an anonymous death
subsequently cremated
with ashes scattered to the four winds.

(plus cutlery, pots pans, et cetera) in the kitchenette sink.

She started what would immediately become
a first and last generation tradition
(the spouse as washer woman
and scullery maid)
soon after we moved here
eight years ago come July 1st, 2025.

I trumpet her pioneer spirit
to apply elbow grease
(to tackle tough
heavily stained articles of clothing
(after her weary cowboy husband
comes back home on the range
after a hot day rustling cattle)
think underwear of mine -
whereat even bleach
falls short of removing
stubborn noticeable discoloration)
such gusto similarly applied
to glassware or cookware caked
with crusty hardened food.

After washing wearable goods,
she squeezes the excess water
from saturated item(s)
and drapes still moderately wet garment
over drying racks
despite the availability
of clothes washers and dryers
here on the premises
of Highland Manor Apartments.

Though she continues to threaten
with colorful epithets
never to wash my clothes ever again,
her words ring hollow
when some time elapses
and... guess what?
yepper, her hands slide down
into the behavioral sink
and I make sure
to acknowledge gratitude,
yet admit to falling short
of filling in the blank
(with a select response),
when she asks me
what will I give her in return.

Earlier in our
almost thirty year marriage,
we (I more so than the wife)
used to be conditional
and if asked a favor,
the immediate response
from yours truly (me)
just so happened to be
what do I get in return?

That Pavlovian feedback loop
occurred way before
my libido took a kamikaze dive,
into a suicide mission
a strong suspicion arises
(but I dare not utter
a premature *******)
videlicet that being adverse effects
linkedin with one or more
of the nine prescription medications
ingested for mental health issues
such as anxiety, dysthymia,
obsessive compulsive disorder,
and palmar hyperhidrosis
could be the only logical explanation,
and interestingly enough,
I breathe a sigh of relief
cuz all to often ****** fantasies
ofttimes filled every waking
and sleeping hour of mine.

the first time this summer,
when martyrdom got chucked aside for cold comfort.

How heavenly the climate controlled apartment
unit b44 felt and **** the torpedoes
(originated from a quote
attributed to Admiral David Farragut
during the Battle of Mobile Bay
in the American Civil War)
about being the poster child for Peco.

Sensitivity to global warming
increased intolerance against
hazy hot and humid weather
adversely affecting me
the older I get,
thus body electric of mine
caving into temptation
to set the digital dial
at a brisk sixty five degrees
quickly delivering relief
amenable to me a married
nonestablishmentarian, sexagenarian,
and Unitarian baby boomer,
who readily attests to being
a human who doubles up
as a bipedal hominid creature,
who relishes drinking
in the cool purified respite.

As a bouncing baby, introspective boy,
pensive prepubescent, tumultuous teen
and emerging adult,
I grew up in the shadow of “Glen Elm”
the purported summer home
of one Mister Leiper,
(maybe an unsuspecting reader
linkedin to his genealogical family tree,
which tidbit would appease
the curiosity of yours truly)
built during the early nineteen hundreds
and lacked air conditioning
namely because such amenity
did not exist
although modern air conditioning
got invented in 1902 by Willis Carrier,
who developed a system
to control temperature and humidity
at a printing plant in Brooklyn, New York.

The childhood home
at 324 Level Road,
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
additionally lacked proper insulation,
and a furnace in the basement
piped heated throughout the house
from a storage tank to the burner
using a fuel pump,
a typical part of the burner assembly,
whereat said pump
draws the oil and pressurizes it
before sending it to the burner nozzle
where it is ignited to generate heat.

Many occasions found mother
turning down the thermostat
to cut costs cause she grew up
dirt poor in Coney Island, New York
and her psyche got indelibly impressed
with scrimping and saving
even at the inconvenience
of myself and siblings;
but years later (after mom passed away)
father purchased a window unit
(perhaps getting a discount
with his General Electric association)
just for the kitchen.

I try to abide
by self imposed energy efficient standards
(ever mindful of the first law of thermodynamics
also known as the law of conservation of energy,
states that energy
cannot be created or destroyed,
but it can be transformed
from one form to another)
not just when sequestering myself
within where I reside
(and if negligent,
the wife quickly reminds me
in her screechy voice
of a light left on
or the bathroom door left ajar
if activating the central air
echoing a similar refrain
how mother did likewise),
but also when mapping out a strategy
when driving aiming to conserve fuel
by consolidating going on fool's errands
to minimize unnecessarily
spinning wheels frivolously.

since originally being crafted
approximately half dozen
***** deeds done dirt cheap years ago...

Abound and lurk
within every nook and cranny
analogous to some annoying pest
harmless though one reside here,
when off his meds goes berserk
here at Highland Manor Apartments.

They ****** and snitch packages -
meant for other than themselves -
think Grinch who stole Christmas
plus snoop, i.e. eavesdrop
big Dumbo ears as listening devices
(batteries not required)
or serve as rumor mongers
to don self importance
and trumpet "FAKE NEWS."

We (yours truly and his misses)
dwelled at aforementioned residence
July first 2025 will be eight years,
and no sooner did both of us set foot
on premises than hearsay
immediately promulgated
(metaphorically swirled about our heads),
and passed like greased lightning
thru the robust grapevine
purportedly wife of mine
brought in live snakes.

Oddly and interestingly enough though,
I never actually never heard nor saw
a fellow resident
talk (or whisper in hushed tones)
about me outright.

Rather than badmouth other feisty folks,
which leaves unpleasant virtual
aftertaste described as phooey zook,
thus comeuppance to reprobate recipients
I activate viz cluck
king silly reasonable rhyme,
(so keeps head up
for urbane adverse city slicker
you better watch out

(...better not shout...) just duck
and run for cover cuz poet took
effluvia enroute spouted by word huck
stir, he avoids naming
(chatterboxes whose lives
so devoid of meaning,
they figuratively kickstart tittle-tattle),
who vocally ramp up
some juicy tidbit with any luck

taking page from former president playbook
letting their lips uncontrollably run a-muck
totally oblivious to credibility factor
buzzfeed initial kernel of truth and truck
outrageous zingers suitable for National Enquirer,
tragicomical, cuz mistruths
courtesy tenants exhibit chutzpah to pluck
farfetched outright lies and innuendos

rolling of tongues of then occupants such as:
"Bible Thumper/Holy Roller,"
"Bingo/ Phat Cathy,""Crooked Old Man,"
"Curvy Girl/Thunder Thighs," "Frumpty Dumpty
"Mush/Smash Mouth, "Snaggletooth,"
"The Bodyguard," "The Fossil," "The Schvartze,"
"Winkle," and last but not leased "Zha Zha”.

Give me fruit flies, mice
and/or roaches any day,
or give me death!

Friday, June twentieth
at 10:42 Post Meridian
Eastern standard time
will find Earth's North Pole tilted
closest toward sun.

This demarcates
most daylight hours of the year
for people living
within the northern hemisphere.

Just shy of the supposed bewitching hour
(more than twelve hours
from drafting these lines)
nearest star in solar system reaches
highest point in the sky.

Hence hasty intent to beat buzzer sound
dashing off riding figurative one seahorse
open sleigh madly awk cross cyber sea,
aye rudder sally forth (slogging thru
virtual flotsam and jetsam) with poetic
obeisance paid to average size ball of
Earth, wind and fire, my out of this
world quasi stellar benediction
since Earthlings traveled thru space/time
continuum circa complimenting
summer solstice at Stonehenge
when the sky is clear, the sun rises
behind the Heel stone, the ancient entrance
to the circle, and rays of sunlight channelled
into the centre of the monument.

Perchance bajillion years ago,
when predecessors
of present day primates
(those foo fighting
beastie boys **** sitter terribly
less a bomb bin hubble), versus twenty first
century **** sapiens predilection for total
mortal kombat graphically spiraling downward
zeroing (kamikaze like),
loose analogy drawn,
videre licet calling to mind
witnessing subjective nattering nabob of nativity
spinning his/her mathematical
roulette wheel of misfortune,
albeit analogous to
hypotrochoids and epitrochoids
geocentric model representing Ptolemaic system,
or also representing on a much smaller scale
the microscopic subatomic particles,
such as electrons, protons,
neutrons, quarks, and leptons
considered the fundamental
building blocks of the universe,
according to scientific sources.

While scientists continue to explore
the nature of these particles,
particularly quarks and leptons,
there's no indication that they themselves
are composed of smaller,
discrete particles invisible to the naked eye
manifold times smaller than a grain of sand;
now what strains incredulity
whereby countless grains of sand,
roughly (7.5 x 10^21)
grains of sand on Earth.

This is an estimate
based on calculations
of the volume of beaches
and deserts, and assuming
an average grain size.

Such minutiae surprisingly
impactful within the realm
of present day **** sapiens, whose lives
also linkedin with natural phenomena
and affecting multitudinous life forms
more than one might be aware  
geological, meteorological, and radiobiological
to name a few terrestrial processes
occurring across oblate spheroid,
(which could come to a crashing halt
predicated on burgeoning human population
or  apocalypse now
considering present day brinksmanship
jeopardizing sustainable planet presuming
industrial paradigm prevails, thence man/
woman kind will unwittingly trumpet, and
or sound claxon (ex post facto), while
warming temperatures melt glaciers,
asper huge popsicles drowning
multitudinous habitats courtesy
of violent meteorologic cataclysms, where
Noah ark will be big enough to save majority
of creatures, and (wherein no art of the deal)
savvy enough to wall off sky high tidal
Katrina and the waves, then nature will (make
a killing) relishing tidying Gaia's condemnation,
whereby Atlas shrugged off sized tureen
if necessary applying pledged finishing touches
repurposing third rock for another species slated
to inherit pseudo tabula rasa after Campbells,
and broth hers detox polluted primordial soup
i.e. once cleansed of poisons, thus...I condense
my Green New Deal spiel!

Midwinter night dream filled
with balm of June solstice rays
lackadaisical and carefree months ideal time
to while away pronounced illuminated days
outdoor sports a favorite choice
occupies athletic population,
which venues witness frequent surge
and spill of overtime plays
another popular milieu
favorable climate awakens
constitutes habitués vacationers visit
ashore popular waterways
beachfront shoreline inundated
by mass exodus of sun worshippers
tidal seaboard awash
along every square inch
human species splashes to keep cool
within ocean and bays.

Six months ago bitter cold
and dark snow filled skies
wrought undeserved vengeance
viewed from these eyes
who after each and
every major winter storm
donned proper attire
to stay warm outside
while clearing walkway
with shovel in hand
executed repetitive motion
akin to how boater plies
similar (yet reversed)
****** swing of arms
now readily prepares for execution
of most difficult seasonal task
requires usage of most complex muscle
the source of poetry witty and wise.

Awake to the solar celestial sea chant
mourning regarding species no longer extant
thus upon figurative shoulders of youth
tasked with survival of humanity
a behemoth nearly impossible mission
younger generations unfairly saddled
with obligatory filched grant
courtesy when fossil fuels
broadcast onset of four Industrial Revolutions
spewing paradigm videre licet
free market capitalist kant
now quashing, thrashing,
wrestling against rant
long fostering **** sapiens dominance.

Starry-eyed dark matter
of infinite space
espied by countless eons
since original human race
became cognizant of her/
his terrestrial place
gilding the heavens with strings
of pearly hued lace
closer to earth charting
early skywatchers to notice moon face
held captive via gravitational brace
while zodiac archer aims
cocked bow, where knocked feathers
sans arrow complete an awesome
fantastic bullseye ace.

Mother nature’s ornery primates supreme display
said massive breastworks broadcast inlay
feat of awesome accomplishment
finds yours truly humbled okay
with his feeble limitations
engendering ample rocky tsuris oy vey.

Today June 20th, 2025 after a light rain,
the night before,
whereby cooler temperatures prevail,
a strand of pearls clung to slender tree limbs
bejeweled woody flora prismatic orbs
tell tale sign recent cloudburst
cleft darkened heavens
rained watery life source liquid
downpour laced branched canopy
awash with molecular droplets
requisite to feed burlesque Vaudeville bluster
exquisite gala performance unrehearsed
unscripted ubiquitous theatrical performance

received limitless encores
toward Gaia screenwriter
whose infinite scope
(wrought upon natural landscape palette)
exceeds the finite abilities
of those bipedal *******
human organisms imbued
whose dilettante debut
(dawned these last seconds
on the clock face of geologic history)
might witness curtain call
on their final act.

Nonverbal (though he could talk)
most of his responses
happened to be witnessed
as his characteristic
and courtesy enigmatic
trademark shoulder shrug.

If born free and clear today
skilled professional diagnosticians
employed within the mental health field,
would probably unanimously agree
he met criteria
as high functioning autistic spectrum
predicated upon withdrawn
and introverted behavior classic indications
after observing him in the classroom
just another brick in the wall.

As a baby boomer gifted with mental block,
versus my younger sister,
who experienced blessed with smarts,
(she enrolled in the equivalent
of advanced placement courses
throughout her 1979
senior year at Methacton High School)
as an exceptionally smart kiddo
in retrospect, I on the other hand
would designate myself
at the other end of the scale,
nevertheless few and far between
alternative options existed
for the girl or boy who exhibited
an evident struggle
(case in point yours truly)
difficulty comprehending, taking notes,
and effective time management,
to identify a few helpful skills
to succeed at established curriculum,
hence the opportunity
other than Saint Gabriels,
located in Audubon, Pennsylvania,
a residential program for male youth,
which closed in October 2020
housing those being
designated incorrigible and truant
subsequently relegated
as lumpenproletariat,
progressive ideas as alternative
to traditional teaching and learning paradigm
such as being homeschooled did not exist,
but among those deemed functional
with potential receptivity for learning
special ed students held singular option
a collective term fostering a stigma
instructing those described
as developmentally delayed, id est
cognitively, intellectually,

or organically challenged,
thus public, parochial, or Quakers,
also known as the
Religious Society of Friends school
only choices available to parents
or legal caretakers responsible
for the welfare of a minor existed,
hence Matthew Scott Harris suffered brickbats
when boarding the bus, sitting stock till
at assigned child unfriendly desk

to skadaddle under
when getting drilled with duck and cover
a civil defense measure,
primarily associated with the Cold War,
designed to protect individuals
from the effects of a nuclear explosion
involving quickly dropping to the ground
and shielding one's head and neck,
ideally under a sturdy object
like a desk or table.

The phrase also refers
to the drills and educational films
used to teach this technique
to schoolchildren and the general public.

How farcical and laughable
to maintain a ridiculous premise
believing humans to be indomitable
that by taking shelter under cover
of a measly solid object
he/she would be free of radiation sickness
proffering a false sense of security
in the event of unleashed atomic bombs
one would be safe and secure
from the fallout after a nuclear explosion
releases various types of radiation,
including gamma rays, neutrons,
and ionizing radiation  
emitted both during the initial detonation
(prompt radiation)
and as residual radiation
from radioactive fallout.

the impact of current
Fourth Industrial Revolution (4IR),
also known as Industry 4.0 revolution
characterized by the fusion of technologies
and explosion of computer sophistication
like artificial intelligence, robotics,
the Internet of Things, and biotechnology,
blurring the lines between the physical,
digital, and biological spheres appellation
follows the First, Second, and Third
Industrial Revolutions,
which focused on mechanization,
mass production, and digitization, respectively
boggles the mindscape of one baby boomer.

Instead of playing
with tinker toys and log cabins
self taught brilliant boys and girls
skipped traditional school altogether
and ironically enough
learned adults
the mind boggling concepts
that jump/kick started quantum leap
into uncharted byte size territory
crafting futuristic outlandish gizmos
sprang from said gifted brains
with their intelligent quotient off the charts
in some instances
genius (of love) **** kids
who unwittingly set
and established a new benchmark
immediately rendering obsolete
quaint twenty first century
hijacking, n stemming
math and science paradigm
into another dimension,
where insights revealed
manifold eye opening
and jaw dropping
phenomena upending
supposedly established
bedrock cosmological schema
displacing hypotheses
delineating space/time continuum
barely gracing the outer limits
of the twilight zone
awash with dark shadows
insync with haunting spectre  
played by Jonathan Frid  
introduced to boost the show's ratings
and became a central figure,
known for his 175-year-old age,
search for his lost love,
and struggle with his vampiric nature
signaling the analogous edge of night
synonymous with allegory of the caves
within Plato's Republic
written around 380 BC,
discussing what would happen
if a group of prisoners realized
the world they were watching was a lie
and lampooning their
skewed perceptions at length
according to multiple sources,
the entire timeless text
applicable to modern times
allowing, enabling and providing
thought provoking material
extrapolating relevancy even today
which Socratic dialogue explores justice,
the just city, and the just individual
whereat the dialogue set in Athens,
but the Republic thought
to have been written later,
possibly while Plato was at his Academy.

Odd how scores of years
post attendance at Antioch College
where I enrolled
in a political philosophy class
in retrospect -
cause hindsight
always equals 20/20,
yours truly ought
to have audited said course
(which campus situated
in bucolic Yellow Springs, Ohio -
Glen Helen a noteworthy geological formation)
and initially a major city
and a center of power
in the ancient world
considered part of larger political entities
initially the capital
of the Seleucid Empire
and later became a prominent city
within the Roman Empire.

hence immediately this birdman
wishes to escape into his eyrie
or seriously considers joining a nunnery
mainly for the less common slang definition
cuz yes, “nunnery”
sometimes used ironically to refer to a brothel,
and this secondary meaning
may well have added
a bitter undercurrent
to Hamlet's proceedings.

Whether interacting with the wife
(wielding a heavy duty iron skillet
and ready to clobber me one
******* me noggin),
or either the eldest
or youngest daughter,
or even women I text
thru Facebook Messenger
in record time without breaking a sweat
yours truly can immediately
generate antagonistic reactions
all the while playing innocent and coy,
and nonchalantly humming to himself
while he doth figuratively amble along
the boulevard of broken dreams
(even if body electric of mine
sitting stock still in a seat)
drumming his fingers atop the table
passing time with insouciant whistle.

Countless attempts
and dog awful experiences
courtesy answering or posting
classified personal advertisements
arranging for myself, a quasi blind date
immediately at first blush
managed to incite instantaneously hate
essentially because - lame excuse
I came to the dating game late,
(when in mine
twenty first or second year
this then Norwegian bachelor farmer
went out on his metaphorical
maiden voyage rendezvous
with a sage gal,
who shared same birthday -
but six years older
(January thirteenth) as mine
lacking grooming skills or spit and polish,
indicative of ship shop shape
the writer of these words
even laughable as a bench warmer,
though getting familiar to balance and swing
and as a prime time player wannabe
easily and quickly mistaken for a charlatan
made apparent when I went out
with one after another gal,
whose heart of mine
did powerfully palpitate
while struggling to express affection
(blurting premature ejaculations
laced with verbalized hormonal secretions)
courtesy awkward tête-à-tête,
which rather juvenile spluttering utterances
hashtagged me lacking social graces.

Schizoid personality disorder
characterized by Individuals
with said disorder
exhibit a persistent tendency
toward social isolation
and a lack of desire
for close relationships,
often preferring solitary activities
and showing little interest
in intimate relationships
or social interactions,
which describes my outward to a “T”
profoundly pronounced
during formative impressionable years
of boyhood, adolescence
and emerging adulthood
essentially impeding healthy development
of body, mind and spirit,
and most like stunting physical,
mental and spiritual maturation
necessitating psychiatric
and psychological services
during his puberty
(disrupted, hijacked, and limned
courtesy anorexia nervosa)
no matter he lacked
participation and responsiveness
toward Theodore Goldberg
then linkedin with
Collegeville Counseling facility
early nineteen seventies.

because you watch
and see that democracy will unspool
military (intelligent)
industrial complex tool
at Trump's beck and call,
where hardened soldiers
train the crosshairs of their firearms
against innocent bystanders,
especially targeting
supposedly nonestablishmentarians
(like this rebel without a clause),
who embraces win/win conflict resolution
shouting thru a megaphone
while standing atop a toady stool,
hence deployment of National Guard troops
doth adumbrate military rule
presaging a violent future,
where blood will pool
renting asunder complex edifice
once upon a time,
(perhaps such story a myth)
housing the land of the free
and home of the brave newel
allowing, enabling and providing,
a metaphorical stairway to heaven
initially linkedin to Lemuel
metaphysically meaning Godward,
but interpreted by this atheist
analogous to traversing steps
that become ever more steep
challenging one to climb
toward priceless crowning jewel.

Martial law on the near horizon,
where the grateful dead souls wake
(me up when September ends)
courtesy thunder of war
and trumpeting brass
faint echoes of
"Always Ready, Always There,"
where usurpers, and traitors of freedom take
away vaunted, and cherished inalienable rights
soundcloud heard increasing in volume
amidst the shimmering waves of heat
radiating off the scorched earth policy
to destroy leaves of grass
fomenting civilians to take up arms
witnessing aggressive suppression
fighting machine launched
deliberately creating chaotic eruption
loosing hostility across earth, wind and fire
while Doobie Brothers smoking a joint
nasty brutes attacking
erroneously hashtagging those accused
of jump/kick starting purported upheaval
when thugs the real lawless culprits
no matter majority
of ordinary people helpless, defenseless
impossible mission to escape
onslaught of fired tear gas
towards peaceful protesters,
where life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
for all living things great and small
smoldering after burning at the stake.

Another American Civil War in the offing
in this case pitting the fruit of the loom
narcissistic dictator wannabe
against what the commander in chief
refers to as losers,
those enlisted men and women,
who voluntarily gave
the full measure of their lives
not only at Gettysburg,
but fourscore and seven years prior
to thwart tyrannical treatment imposed
by King George III of Great Britain
and Ireland during
the American Revolution.

His policies and actions are widely
seen as contributing
to the growing tensions
that led to the conflict.

Now the forty seventh president
set on a demolition course
obliterating any vestige
of those founders field of dreams
risking life and limb
to dare shuck off the shackles
of monarchical British rule,
and would be rolling in their graves
if they could witness the travesty
of monomaniacal hegemony
of one self proclaimed demagogue
for life dead set
on annexation of Greenland
(the world's largest island
which is not a continent),
an autonomous territory
controlled by Denmark
chock a block flush and rife
with exploitation of mining
for rare earth minerals, uranium and iron.

to genus and species of **** sapiens,
(who trod across oblate spheroid
since time immemorial
as well as other simians -
classed as naked apes -
and now I enclose a bit of esoteric trivia,
whereby chimpanzee and the bonobo
our closest living relatives
share a surprisingly high percentage
of their DNA with humans,
estimated to be around 98.7-98.8%)
seek a significant counterpart
sought among their respective members,
(whether of the same or opposite gender),
in my case heterosexual partner preferred
within the human league
and of late acceded to friend requests
on Facebook messenger,
one of many social media platforms
to curry potential platonic friendships
between myself, a married, Caucasian
a lapsed Malthusian, nonestablishmentarian,
and Unitarian heterosexual,
who enjoys intelligent conversation
parrying and thrusting with wit and wisdom

Though a solitudinarian, a flickering
pulse of primal atavistic call of the wild
snakes thru the reptilian brain of mine
buzzfeeding erogenous zones
snapchatting across axons and neurons
inducing randiness to shutterfly and twitter
arousing the trouser snake to slither and slide
getting ready to pounce and make an ambush,
where Tiny Tim tiptoes thru the tulips.

Concupiscence at this stage in the game of life
(heading into my sixty seventh journey
around the sun January thirteenth,
nineteen hundred and twenty six)
nipped in the bud courtesy
(side effects) one or more
of the following nine
prescription medications
(to temper anxiety, dysthymia,
obsessive compulsive,
and palmar hyperhidrosis)
ingested on a daily basis:
BUSPIRONE TAB 15 MG 2X DAILY,
CLOMIPRAMINE CAP 50 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
CLONAZEPAM TAB 0.5 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
FLUOXETINE CAP 80 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
GLYCOPYRROLATE TAB 2 MG 4X DAILY,
PRAZOSIN HCL CAP 1 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
PRAZOSIN HCL CAP 5 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
RISPERIDONE TAB 1 MG 1X NIGHTLY,
ROPINIROLE TAB 2MG 1X NIGHTLY.

Back in the day
when the onset of hormonal secretion
analogous to a raging torrent,
an ******* occurred
at the most inopportune times
namely when I needed
(actually volunteered)
to stand up in front of the classroom
expatiating in a profoundly nasal voice
(courtesy submucous cleft palate -
essentially a split uvula)
or gingerly exiting the classroom,
especially upon getting excited
espying a girl I felt infatuated toward,
thus carried books
and school supplies
to hide any self evident
warm prickling sensations.
Aghast at juvenile predilections of mine,
I let ****** fantasies run rampant
(texting and sexting females
young enough to be my daughter)
despite being legally bound and linkedin
to a marital covenant
obliging me to forswear
unrequited love when
at the prime of my life,
yet ******* clad photographs
of young fecund women
(a fraction of my
threescore and six years)
overpower sense and sensibility
without pride and prejudice
knowing at heart
such endeavors to foster
discreet liaison with fecund females
on par with a fool's errand.