Which lame excuse I exclaimed,
when my dear old mom asked
rather told me in her scolding voice
to tidy up my bedroom,
cuz this son of a gun
intuited neatening (organizing)
one infinitesimal corner of the cosmos,
(a veritable pinpoint of nothingness -
our house at blank address)
hence an excellent reason
as lamely iterated above
not to straighten up
my sleeping quarters,
or... rather lesser portion
of bedroom yours truly
then shared with my younger sister,
when writer of these words
just a diminutive lad,
who wished and envied himself

to be the diminutive little boy
(analogous to Jack Wild in Oliver)
at Baker Park day camp
named Stuart (or spelled Stewart) Gillett.

I did literally shortchange
natural born propensity
to witness maximum development
of body, mind, and spirit
when psyche whipsawed
by the vagaries of social anxiety,
panic attacks,
and obsessive compulsive disorder
(psychological maladies shortlisted
to spare the reader his/her tolerance
to endure umpteenth regurgitation
of boyhood, adolescent
and emerging adult mental health ills)
attempting to stave off bidding adieu
to a childhood's end mourned,
no matter fictitiously envisioned
formative years idyll reveries
analogous to present prevarication
being a Norwegian bachelor farmer
in Lake Woebegone,
where cessation of degradation
courtesy intubation, supported jollification
think (Potemkin Village)
bolstering façade and charade
of a faux gone existence.

Hypothetical arbitrary
definition of methodization
exemplified by eldest sister
(when as an an ace student
during convincingly
feigned rapt chores,
where the order of the day
pitted shushed obedient kids
subjected to elementary
my dear Watson pedagogical blather),
nevertheless she displayed
immaculate artistic renderings
courtesy the device
used during every grade
whether at primary,
junior and senior high school
to project images onto a screen,
where a teacher
would place transparent sheets
with written information,
called an overhead projector.

These projectors often referred to as OPs,
according to an article
on Larry Cuban's blog.

They were also sometimes
informally called a "Belshazzar".

Since the universe
abhorred the apotheosis
of parochial law and order
as epitomized
by aforementioned eldest sibling's
buzzfeeding with extremely
neat and groovy note-taking,
and hence succeeded
as a straight A student
completing dozen
***** deeds done dirt cheap
thru first to twelfth grade
with flying colors,
who as a nature lover to boot
shunned killing live specimens
from a young age
and ingeniously fantastic star student
got the lion's share
born sympathetic and empathetic
toward all creatures great and small,
(whose insect collection project
assignment for seventh grade -
where she pinned
dead critters to styrofoam board
and accompanied with drawings
with her exquisite left hand
validated her artistic penchant
that southpaws gifted
with predilection toward phenomenal
exact printing and drawing
preceding me by approximately
thirteen plus months prior
to my scrawny debut
in the webbed wide world,
where yours truly ranked
as most convenient scapegoat
where utter chaos reigned supreme
as evidenced and exemplified
by illegible chicken scratch
and deplorable messiness
to assigned hurt locker of mine.

I can hold out for upcoming mental health therapy until Wednesday at 1:00 p.m.

Yes, and you (like I) will probably presume me deservedly cursed for flagrante delicto years ago.

After I experienced the following catastrophe (written in my freestyle poetry), you won't be surprised that taking an overdose of one or more of the nine prescription medications became a very appealing exit from aggravating travails.

"Hell hath no fury
like a Matthew Scott Harris
fleeced, milked, and scammed"
affected double whammy debacle
worse than being bamboozled
by dreaded dybbuk,
and ransacked, targeted,
and zapped me monetary resources
analogous to wearing a bullseye on my back
eviscerated checking and savings accounts
leaving yours truly
without cents or sensibility.

I always prided myself without prejudice,
yet feel nothing
but red hot poker enmity
towards him/her
who robbed me blind
courtesy ***** nilly
pocketing meager pocket change
(but now yours truly
closer to being penniless)
no matter Citizens Bank
vowed, pledged, and held
unswerving oath vis a vis
"FDIC insured" an FDIC-insured bank,
which means that deposits
in all types of Citizens Bank accounts
insured by the FDIC, dollar for dollar,
up to $250,000 per person.

This insurance covers
a wide range of accounts,
including checking, savings,
money market, and certificates of deposit.

According to Citizens Bank,
they are proud to be a part
of the FDIC's deposit insurance system.

A sting operation
already set in motion
hopefully nabs
and prosecutes guilty perpetrators,
whose criminal intent
hopefully finds them behind bars
where they get roughened up
by nasty short and brutish prison thugs.

Two separate incidents
of outright theft occurred
along dark shadows
while merrily ambling along
the information superhighway
(where life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness)
like a dream oblivious
and unbeknownst to me
entering the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
where robberies occurred,
in one case scenario,
an unsuspecting individual
acquired a new debit card
meant for the missus
so she could access
our joint checking account,
which nonchalant activation
and subsequent withdrawal of money
blithely undertaken by unknown person(s),
similar and maybe identical individual
who utilized Zelle (case scenario two)
to access savings account,
no doubt experienced joie de vivre.

Along the edge of night,
I arose to said rude awakening
on May sixteenth
two thousand and twenty five
discovering visa vis
that scrawny money tree of mine
figuratively shaken until...
mine bark turned into a whimper,
whereat this doggone word wrangler
found himself
handed a sentence of destitution.

A new checking
and savings accounts created
as a precautionary measure
to stymie future sinister motives
of stealthy badass antagonists,
and also User Identification
and password changed
to thwart nefarious nincompoops.

Hopefully I can recoup
considerable lost money
and nevertheless will brace myself
to accept a fate worse than death.

like the infinite vista
upon the midwestern plain
farther than the eyes of mine
(an ascetic and copacetic
shortsighted father of two grown
twenty something daughters)
can no longer see,
since sockets severely seared
staring at the hypnotic screen
blindsided courtesy the magnificent 7
(a group of seven
major technology companies
that consistently outperformed
the overall stock market,
particularly in recent years)
severed mine "ocular orbs,"
leaving a comfortably numbskull
bonafide USDA approved
nondescript puny skeleton
once sported a sexagenarian
sliding seventy inches
down into the behavioral sink
dwarfed by teeming masses
of dead people,
(who once possessed a sixth sense)
sporting telltale signs of misery
somnambulance courtesy prolonged insomnia
a sorry escape for a Dreamcatcher
standing under the dome (more so
wobbling on spindle shanks
awaiting Rita Hayworth
and Shawshank redemption),
though I never flinch
head and shoulders above me,
where their vestigial swallowed tail
(shriveled and atrophied coccyx
resembling dessicated wild asparagus),
the bony husk, the body, the firestarter
illustrating emotionally tattooed
generic common John Doe
among skeletal husks
of emaciated humans
wolfishly fighting over scraps
confusing yours truly (me)
as some tasty morsel
with weathered gristle
remains of the day
from a freshly fielded ****
concentration camp victim
mostly bleached lovely bones
charred courtesy bonfire of the vanities
the aftermath of cannibals
partying after experiencing ****** madness
strongly resembling animated
****** temple pilots
base sic lee emulating 10,000 maniacs
frolicking with more'n one
barenaked lady supertramp wannabe
turning her cheap trick
ohm my dog after getting a charge
quaffing electric kool aid acid test
gifted me with aforementioned hallucinations
to escape the cares and concerns
of an uncertain future,
hence I never wanna venture out
nor can yours truly (me)
break free and clear of this cell
tethered with omnipotent cables
of human *******
approximating as a quasi umbilical cord
housed in Apartment b44
analogous to be encapsulated
and livingsocial as if born again
within pseudo makeshift ******
no longer experiencing desperation
to venture outside
into the webbed wide world
because I feel safe and sound
ensconced under the covers
away from the coming fury
where opposing armies never call reatreat
meanwhile the cursor blinks
as the writer of these words sits stupefied
yawning chasms that could swallow a Mack truck
despite just arising
from a siesta moments ago
dead set to let thought unspool
analogous to a meandering river
baffling the casual observer
why a more direct route
from mountaintop to base
did not manifest destiny
"a riddle wrapped in a mystery
inside an enigma"
which origins of the phrase
can be traced back to a statement
made by Winston Churchill
in 1939 regarding the Soviet Union.

(on a rainy May thirteenth
two thousand and twenty five)
as a balm against ennui
becoming engrossed, immersed,
and lost in space of orrery
regarding the universe created courtesy
Nora Roberts well crafted novel Montana Sky
perusing said realistic fiction
as if inebriated
with one hundred proof liquor
experiencing drunken stupor
merely from evocatively written story
and subsequently
envying such craftsmanship
incorporating her gushing wellspring
plentifully populated
with seat of the pants suspense
interwoven with the tapestry
of love and delight
in the valley of dark shadows
where the edge of night
(awash with creatures
conjured from an overactive imagination)
creeps into the realm
bordered by outer limits of the twilight zone
buzzfeeding insatiable
appetite for consumption
of one bookworm hellbent
on appeasing his voracious hunger
mental comfort analogous
to buffet of food omnipresent
for a famished homeless person,
which unfortunate soul
could be yours truly linkedin
to a lifetime of poor planning
and lack of sticktoitiveness
toward reasonable goals
abandoning ambition ousted
with faith no more
devoid of self confidence
by long entrenched apathy
taking root kudzu like way back
during blissful boyhood,
when yours truly
deferred to those
who begat him as his boatswain de jure
and panicking
when he clocked eighteen years
around the nearest star
totally unable and unready
to be master of his domain
witnessed courtesy
as he hopscotched
from one college to another
without rhyme nor reason
and giving up on himself
before testing his short lived
quizzical excitement pursuing
for example setting sights
on bachelor of science degree
at Temple University
as a Geology major
disbelieving I possessed the smarts
to comprehend chemistry or physics,
and rather than applying
figurative button nose to grindstone
yours truly (me) impulsively withdrew
repeated the above refrain
approximately half a dozen times,
and only recently discovering
vis a vis unbridled joy
imbibing countless author's claim to fame
boosting his literacy,
which plunge into
webbed wide world of imagination
did ensure temporary alleviation of learning
not so much to impress anybody,
but more so engaged
in near futile attempt
to appease hungry bibliophile
christened Matthew Scott Harris,
I simultaneously sought escape
from cares and concerns
of an uncertain world
where the great unknown
akin to a vast dangerfield
peopled with brutish,
nasty and short imps of the pervert
unsuspecting poe whet tick justice
awaiting within pit and the pendulum.

"Dangerfield" is a surname of Norman origin, meaning "settlement of danger" or "village of danger". It is a habitational name, meaning it originated from a place name in northern France. The name combines the Old Norse personal name "Ásgeirr" (from "áss" meaning god and "geirr" meaning spear) with the Old French "ville" meaning settlement or village. The "d" in "Dangerfield" is a fused preposition meaning "of" or "from."

honored at freedom fête
of course in my dreams
where Tony the Tiger
roars Matthew Scott Harris
ranks as one hip cat gr-r-eat
showcasing adroitness
with ability to turn a phrase
evident if we could arrange a tête-à-tête
where immortality doth  wait.

Pacifist bard of Perkiomen Valley
regaled at Alpine Fellowship conclave
regarding erosion of Democratic rights grave
alarming usurpation of power - Republicans
each and every one a nasty and brutish knave
intent to pronounce decree sentencing
every **** sapien to pave
(courtesy their lovely bones)
back breaking laborious ****** path
trumpeting, signaling and attesting slave
versus master linkedin relationship
essentially scuttling emancipation proclamation
lifetime of human *******
forced to pledge flag of servitude
amidst wreckage broken souls
washed away courtesy totalitarian wave.

Foreclosure on purported inalienable rights
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
though hard won freedoms crimped
foregone conclusion demanding
fealty and loyalty to sovereignty
therefore necessitates electorate
to stage coup d'état
and overthrow autocrat
ideally thru peaceful modus operandi.

Though aforementioned verses hypothetical,
mine overactive imagination
can easily envision governmental,
née societal debacle
witnessing yours truly,
an extremely shy
Norwegian bachelor wannabe
gobbling up ample powder milk biscuits
to acquire courage to protest
(no matter the temperature
seasonably pitch perfect May tenth
two thousand and twenty five)
and stand firm against
one unnamed political party
aiming to upend voting rights,
thus disenfranchising
most economically vulnerable people
(predominantly) persons of color
to cast their vote for representation.

Absolute zero chance for change
unless even those risk averse
(such as one garden variety wordsmith)
to protest without resorting to violence
and staking a claim to denounce
opposition against exercising
freedom for citizens
to elect eligible candidate.

I too would join aspiring bravehearts
(each of us participants
tightly grasping an amulet),
not looking for fame nor fortune,
only martyrdom and sainthood ha,
nevertheless able, eager, and ready
to risk life and limb in an effort to preserve
(even at expense getting into a jam)
principle figurative bulwark buttressing
buzzfeeding land of milk and honey myth.

Throughout American history
many patriots as well
as indigenous tribes bled,
the latter viciously tracked down
nsync with ominous dread,
no matter how fast they fled
taking refuge courtesy
sympathetic abolitionists,
who silently motioned
at (hiding) in hogshead
wherein close proximity
slave catchers hope
upon silent footsteps they tread
to steal back their overworked
and demeaned hashtagged chattel.

Outspoken voices helped spur
Emancipation Proclamation and
subsequent manumission
diametrically opposed to bedrock
attitudes, ideologies, prejudices...
kept in check by scare tactics
thus disallowing formerly shackled
to experience full fledged freedom,
whether enjoying opportunities
available to the leisure class
or exploring inherent potential
to amass learning
and become financially successful,
which suppression of free will,
(within parameters of self expression -
artistic, literary, musical et alia)
gives credence to notion of white privilege
automatic guilt linkedin with skin color.

Each generation of oppressed,
especially those who break the color barrier
subjected with bigotry
(ofttimes subtle mistreatment)
challenging well earned freedom
rightfully bequeathed from forebears labor.

The ghosts of Africans
who suffered pre colonial rule
(namely European exploitation)
robbed of their national identity
will foreever haunt the offspring,
whose forefathers/mothers
brutally desecrated haven housing
rightful autochthonous
men, women and children
living social within
their own Lake Wobegone.

After proper manager
distributed the latest bulletin
to all the residents at Highland Manor,
plus wrinkled her nose at noxious odor
(explained at length below)
purportedly emanating from unit B44,
we (myself and the missus)
felt in our lovely bones,
an imminent inspection in the offing,
certain as Santa Ana winds blow
strong, dry, and warm
from inland desert regions
towards coastal Southern California
and northern Baja California.

The other day myself and the spouse
went to ACME
in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
and bought a truckload of broccoli,
one or more bags
started to thaw within the car
courtesy the greenhouse effect,
when bag toted inside
said package started emitting
a peculiar rank malodorous stink
as if some animal up and died,
which smell permeated the hallway
right outside the apartment door.
New restrictions put in place here
at Highland Manor Apartments
basically reflect harsh repressive measures
witnessed within and across
the manifold governments
evincing, kick/jump starting,
sporting twenty first civilizations attempt
at liberty and justice for all
violently crushed by steel booted thugs
effectively, immediately, and euphemistically
snuffing out flickering flames of freedom
by dint of force
ousting uber progressive lyft of democracies
exemplifying, justifying, stultifying a general
webbed wide world trend
toward illustration, imposition and inquisition
of nasty, short and brutish trolls
enforcing the diktat tatter ship
that might equals right
warrants a coup d'état to be fomented
even if yours truly
must step up to the plate
analogously hitting a homerun
for the boys in the hood
comprising home team,
and claim mine fifteen minutes of fame
without incurring the wrath of Kong
rather welcoming and resurrecting
personifications of SuperMan
such as that Incredible Hulk
of green day energy potential,
whose paw size mitts
can easily sweep away
the surge of totalitarianism
of Republican dominance
responsible for perpetrating
political devastation and divisiveness
courtesy Project 2025
compliment stock in trademark
second Trump dynasty
during what historians
hashtagged as global reign of terror
signalling the vestigial
end of democracy,
especially within countries
where such figurative trial balloons launched,
ushering doomsday scenario,
particularly as atomic warheads
decimated great swaths of humanity
rendering planet earth
mostly uninhabitable, inimitable, and dubitable,
not only for **** sapiens,
but countless other species.

not one drop of sweat
(especially on hot humid and hazy days)
less than a gallon
exudes forth from my pores
but nevertheless
I can single handedly manage...
primary idiopathic palmar/
palmoplantar hyperhidrosis.

Aforementioned physiological malady
unwanted and unwonted figurative
(metaphorical) beast of burden
linkedin with matrix constituting mine
corporeal essence genetically
gifted to yours truly,
invariably, objectionably,
and unquestionably
afflicts, impacts, and upsets
emotional (mental) health
diagnosed with
schizoid personality disorder.

Tis no fun when unable
to join in any reindeer games
(actually quite aggravating)
to experience chronic instances,
whereby profuse sweat drips
(think rivaling Angel Falls),
the loftiest falls on land
inducing extreme self
consciousness and embarrassment.

Socialization compromised,
jeopardized, and sabotaged
against natural proclivity to fraternize,
thus avoidance behavior
(i.e. social distancing) rigorously practiced
way before coronavirus (COVID-19)
mandated staying at least 6 feet
(about 2 arm's length) from other people.
I vaguely recollect even while in utero
sweaty hands cooled courtesy amniotic fluid
yet subsequently observing consternation
obstetrician displayed as
itty bitty teensy weensy fingers
dripped - think faucet turned on full force.

Mein kampf (predominantly
describes solitary existence)
severely exacerbated (still prominent)
ability to function undermined
courtesy deux part and parcel
significant aforestated physiological
and social congenital afflictions
somewhat ameliorated by
about half dozen
plus three prescription medications,
one of which includes glycopyrrolate
typically one of the first treatments
for craniofacial hyperhidrosis
(excessive sweating of the face and head)
and the second or third treatment
for palmar, plantar, or axillary hyperhidrosis
(excessive sweating of the palms,
soles, and armpits).

I keep hermetically sealed
within our single bedroom apartment
(we lucked out with unit B44
providing us scenic view)
then (at the initial
crafting of bulk of this poem)
climate controlled at sixty degrees Fahrenheit
(you do the math to figure
the Centigrade temperature),
nevertheless these
five fingered appendages
ooze perspiration on par
with spigots gushing sweat.

Worse fate than death finds me
suffering one or more
dogged following plagues:
water turning to blood, frogs, lice,
flies, livestock pestilence, boils, hail,
locusts, darkness and killing
of firstborn children far less oppressive
versus being stricken with Hyperhidrosis.

Sain above identified unpleasant fallout
understandably, quintessentially, and inextricably
linkedin within every fiber
moost likely activated since conception - mine
body electric infiltrated nerve wracking
complex corporeal edifice
interestingly enough solely overbearing
while yours truly wide awake
bright tailed and bushy eyed,
yet sleep ofttimes brings
severely dislocating, disquieting
and discombobulating
subconscious nocturnal experiences,
which frightful, maniacal, and
phantasmagorical vivid dreams
undermines, oppresses, and impinges,
any joie de vivre
creating abominable hell on Earth
thus this dirt poor commoner
pronouncing his intent
to beg, borrow and/or steal
(sell my soul to the devil)
in a desperate effort to secure
and pay King's ransom
to rid myself once and for all
of parasite entrenched nemesis
bleeding dry, leeching, and yoking
writer christened Matthew Scott Harris,
whereby he doth regularly writhe in agony.