October seventeenth
nineteen hundred sixty one
and October seventeenth
two thousand twenty four
represents, signals,
and traces sixty three orbitz
completed round the sun.
by one cherished,
(despite lapse of calling,
emailing, or texting),
nevertheless loved,
and prized Earthling
named Shari Todd Harris-Dunning.

More'n half (almost two thirds)
regarding aforementioned existence
of said sibling, whose life linkedin
with spousal enrichment dream academy,
while hunkered temporarily down -
until she and her significant other
embark on another globe trotting stint
livingsocial, in Bend, Oregon,
otherwise known as GADSHILL Farm,
hence the hyphenated married name.

Though said endearing youngest sister
approximately forty five plus months my junior,
ofttimes during earlier mein kampf,
she displayed quasi
maternal (motherly) mien.

Even back during mine boyhood
dark shadows stirred
along the edge of night
(emanating from outer limits
of the twilight zone),
which spooked me to flinch
as did appearance
of the boogeyman induce affright
only exacerbated my delicate mental health
which emotionally punctuated precariousness
within psyche of mine

with disequilibrium ******-social blight
above named sibling
a bonafide unflagging
prairie home fine companion
who made killer powder milk biscuits
even as kids (living in Lake Wobegone)
as children, she more so analogous
to being my Bobbsey Twin, I cite
twilled me in the valley
of love and delight,
with her divine guidance,

an emotional refuge rescued
sought deliverance from anguish
loving succor proffered
peace upon mine body, mind, and soul,
she did immediately expedite
warming cockles of me heart
analogous to affecting, creating,
forging, jumpstarting, offering, and ushering
ideal paradise island temperature
if measured by degrees
balmy fahrenheit 451 (ha)

pointing, revealing, shining,
and training a guiding-light
unafraid to defend diminutive
docile, inordinately meek brother,
when threatened courtesy bullies
that significantly towered over me
below average stature in height
a measly little skinny,
long haired pencil neck geek,
yet zany as Corbin
(very private joke) Bill Thurman's cat,

(when within comfort of home) lad
naively oblivious rebukes
delivered courtesy our mother,
when her second born daughter
a fiercely academic and dynamic student
ever since she set foot in the classroom,
or summoning forth indomitable courage
particularly when she got diagnosed
score of years ago being in the throes
of thalassemia anemia minor,
nevertheless honorably accepted

fallout from infrequent -
at most a small number
of memorable bouts of mischievousness
such as after smoldering marshmallows
damaging the brand new toaster oven
sparked, and kindled outburst
from mommy dearest
figurative tinder, which squabble
escalated in intensity
sparking vehement feud to ignite
loosing volatile verbal exchange

triggering (hyperbole on the way)
The Emergency Alert System
to issue warning
lest clear and present danger
(at 324 Level Road)
recorded in history books
licking flames, overshadowing, rivaling,
and undermining revolution
analogous to spelunker donning jacklight
before trumpeting unexpected goldmine.

yours truly (me) could not help but notice
while living social at various residences  
within Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
the following described phenomena
actually observed quite some time ago
maybe back during
my carefree boyhood days of yore
that the uncontrollable spurt
analogous to a golden arch
of micturition arcing
toward parts unknown
(frequently missing the target altogether,

and wetting the seat
subsequently displeasing the next person
more often than not the missus,
who sits upon wet porcelain goddess)
initially issuing from out
my diminutive male member,
(even when fully *****,
no longer than
a small walking stick
for a lucky leprechaun),
when said jet stream
makes splashy contact

affecting fountainhead into pissoir,
whereby a bathroom
tchotchke of Atlas shrugged,
which non verbal reaction spoke volumes,
the direction water got flushed within *****
subsequently clearly described
a clockwise pattern
whooshing within the labyrinth
eventually getting routed
to wastewater treatment plant
at least here within the bowels
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Actually even after flushing,
or using the sink to wash hands,
the water also drained
mimicking rotation of second
or minute hands of analog time pieces.

After finding myself
flush with excitement
presuming I discovered
some great earth shaking revelation,
a Google search quickly
and immediately chastened
premature ******* of excitement
that yours truly stumbled
upon magnificent phenomena
and matter of factly explained
the direction a toilet flushes,
whether clockwise or counterclockwise,

primarily determined
by the design of the toilet bowl
and the water jet's direction,
not by the Earth's rotation
(Coriolis force), which often mistakenly
believed to be the cause;
meaning the flush direction
can vary even within the same hemisphere
due to different toilet designs,
not necessarily consistent
with the "clockwise
in the Northern Hemisphere" myth.

The following words worth your time to read
no matter said poem crafted
maybe at most, a scant half score years ago
when forty fifth president
granted carte blanche to gut American government
poisoned seeds of life and white lily with dog speed
leaving the one tended garden of eden gone to ****.

Heil To The Warthog Chief Firebrand -
more worrisome than an ovarian cyst
or being brandshed with pugilist fist
upending the webbed
wide world of democracy he doth insist
guaranteeing United States of America
ship of state will severely list
then slipping into the behavioral sink.

Das boot trump out-
(oust him to) Waterloo
Eagerly awaits you
the then bully in the white house and true
as my Reince prescience foretells this poe
whit, that, yawl get a lucky strike
if ya keep yar show
fur one quarter off hiz terminal daze starring down
(with bad medicine), thee ole scarecrow!

╰☆╮ Thankfully, I'm not a royal heir
to the power monger hoarders╰☆╮
which comb hen might handy when borders
hermetically sealed - per heil hit lore
caw zing a furor with his stark
jumbo je ne sais quoi lay bean orders.

I dont wanna don a duck dynasty outfit,
or that of a wood chucker
but...holy *******
and kudos to any heckler,
who deems steam roller trump as a mean trucker

thus - for the umpteenth attempt to post
without any intention
to induce rabid reaction to roast
my *** (albeit scrawny just to be cheeky),
I **** rye America will burn like toast
if....mister money bags - to the finish line
of presidential electorate, he doth coast.

My anti Donald trump screed continues tut try
tip picture conjure pixelated stress less or more
WE MUST DO MORE THAN YODEL LOUD:
out....out...get...life not death, he seems to ab ****
ding **** Donald drake...out...of...here...
without...his security detail or...coat....of...
(Emperor wears no clothes) armor!

I will not condone political measures
from that mane lion kapo -
jabbering indiscretion!

Herewith follows a poem
I dashed off in a huff - to douse
dat auld don trumpeting joie de vivre
fin de siecle utopia of yesteryear
puffin sewerage bilge -
strike n horror n ma eyes -
for opinion aye espouse
based on scary political fracas
and looming nightmare -

whar mo' will grouse
to obstruct trump access
to black keys to white house
that a looming presidential nightmare
doth not become real - gruff louse
he will crush sacred freedoms,
whence western civilization goes off bluff
analogous to a rabid cat terminating
the life of more'n Mickey Mouse.

DUCK AFTER DUMP PING THE DON -
a pipe dream that will never take shape.

Air ring ma thoughts - no matter aye ham
juiced one twenty first century mwm ape
serves as genuine esse cape
to fly (during pitch black hours of night)
on his witch a ma call it...
to escape temporarily the cares and concerns
of an uncertain world,
where as an outlier from madding crowd I gape

at the sheer insanity
trumpeting strumpets donning an innate
prejudice and senselessness purr
blind faith toward self avowed demigod --
seize ***** viz Caesar -
forever linkedin with maxim
Veni, Vedi, Vici -
idolized statecraft motto
Trump perfects with his witch's brew he doth stir

his hair coiffed and puffed like it whir
wind blown kickstart ting mobs to stir
paying bodyguards to evict
ruckus-causing murmur
oh...how the masses will let this country
go to hell in hand basket -
blithely purging the Iran Nuclear Deal,
The Paris Climate Agreement
plus rack up stratospheric global debt

cause zing this one measly mortal male to fret
that totalitarian rule will force every man,
woman and child to march....het
two...three...four, while the billionaire
turns a third blind eye
speeds away in his foo fighter jet

argh...heavens to Betsy Ross,
Condoleezza Rice, Nancy Reagan,
and iggy pop  goo goo dolls
how did the fickle finger of fate let
this pompous ***
vacuums up majority votes
across world wide net
to finagle vox populi,
and groom hooligan nasty ruffian thugs
with smashed face as his smart pet.

GoLong Daddy story short -
pondering my rental circumstance
will be upended if this ret
chad, evil, googly-eyed, gastronomic,
narcissistic bullish Don will set
the spark for world war three -
via gone ah re: ha...ha...ha...to all vet
tureens within the American crucible melting *** -
with verbal whips and chains,
whose invective blast sucker punching
DACA, and those
who strain to uphold economic backbone
he does NOT STOP to undermine stoop labor,
which anonymous backs
he bloodies via twittering witless
birdbrain rot, unless....
Katrina and the Waves, superman
or the Sabrina can oust him yet!

I believed fortune cookie maxim
cryptic message couched
Apple Macbook Pro update process
alternately titled “markedly
a Luke warm welcome Matt unfurled
courtesy Jimmy John,
who embarked on
imp apostle bull mission
going to find Mark Twain.”  

After wracking my brain
deducing I declare what
constituted impossible mission
to delineate purpose of these words,
after initialled written
about six and a half years ago
my best hunch (backed up
while holed up in Notre Dame),
I agonizingly dutifully didst attempt
to distract anticipatory anxiety,

(analogous to an expectant father)
while delicate protracted procedure
ticked away the minutes,
where learned hands
gingerly tweezered various and sundry
state of the art electronic
components while trained fingers
instinctively, expertly, and admiringly
wrought awesome results
bitta bing bitta bang under the hood

of cherished Apple product
courtesy wizards hunkered down
troubleshooting laptop to restore functioning
of sophisticated electronic machine  
to ideal factory settings
quality control capability promised
nothing short of a miracle,
whereby engrossed deep thinkers
echoed the sound of silence
thru the corridors of time

olly olly gluten
free ranging NON GMO, oxen
oiled lubricated cloven hoof
nsync cup aided toot tune
to clacking choppers
activated after this chap
dialed up favorite technical director
using his latest smarts
vaunted from years
of breathing, eating, and living

malfunctioning circuits
housed on motherboard
exemplifying divine computer devices
generated by brain child
videre licet avast array
of embedded electronic components
back in the day
Electronic Numerical Integrator
and Computer (ENIAC),
completed in 1946

necessitated taxing physical prowess
additionally forced human interventionists
to shout over din o'er
loud grumbling within bowel
of bulky binary beast of burden
along vaguely similar scenario
buzzfeeding abdominal anatomical beast
easily appeased when yours truly
a gluttonous gourmand,
tasking me to commence upon

ordering food glorious food,
which magically and mysteriously appeared,
after manifold fiery breath
spewed by amazing dragons
**** forming breath taking
heart stopping mind bending
sensational aural and visual feast
low and behold
wresting, teasing, releasing soundcloud
an appetizer to sense
and sensibility tete a tete

while inhabiting (neigh – riding)
caparisoned painted ponies
segueing faux horse sense
(animated, captured, framed
and linkedin within carousel of time)
courtesy tony Apple iPhone X - 256 GB
Silver Verizon amazing pièce de résistance,
sans technological fetes
with CDMA/GSM ringtones,
where a pleasant fecund female

bot tilled voice didst greet
prepping, priming, promoting
Crowded House serving
blue plate special of the Green day
dis "FAKE" kin listener eagerly
awaited: salivating, simulating
****** soothing sans savory souffle,
the first culinary ******* savory dish,
after aye parked,
positioned, and plunked gluteus

near swinging doors leading into kitchen,
where this word maven strategically
dip posited said maximus to attempt
futile gastronomic endeavor
tum maximize tempering torturous tenacious
devastatingly deadly assault steaming enemy
disarmed disguised, and dismantled,
resplendent redolent redoubt
digitally remastering and remixing
non discerning indistinct aromas

emanating from naked lunch to supper esse
overwhelming paroxysms to gorge
putting a ritzy lid on heated fiery dogged
craving powder milk dog biscuits
(an impossible mission), where oozing,
licking, insinuating filaments
commingled as cutthroat
nemesis cooly whipped
devastatingly weeknd ecstasy
wickedly wafting, seducing,

satiating, and salivating
courtesy olfactory foramen,
deflecting incessant onslaughts
induced famished fellow
to reevaluate, relinquish,
and revisit his Weltanschauung soup per bowl,
while simultaneously commandeering cutlery
to attack, besiege, conquer
condemning delegate
of China ware without tea zing,

thence indiscriminately marshaling choppers
to set up base camp at Oral-B
(heeding flying pie warnings, where shewing
should desserts foe ment Hunger)
eggs sauce er baited
onslaught of herbaceous,
fabulous, delicious, and bodacious
culinary cuisine aromatic eats
thoroughly teasing growling stomach
steeping interminable suspenseful,

seven star Michelin magicians
empowered to transform most anything
(such as bilge water,
road **** or septic tank)
gourmet experienced huckster longingly *****
doubled as famished
Norwegian Bachelor farmer,
equating odoriferous garbage truck
on par suckling swollen teats
patience caved to restrain noshing

impaling his strict credo
on dustbin of his story
never again *** chew gnawing
even knuckles sandwich of fingers or toes
squishy human digits
texture of imported dates,
which hunger artist experienced pangs
voilà nothing short
of Pan's Labyrinth lesson,
did justice minimally satiated afterwards,

a restauranteur hoof hall
hues highbrow opinion,
hence a short survey about ambience,
yours truly will rate
perhaps unwise of an every
Jimmy John Joe gourmand
tubby biased after an apple ala carte blanche
preceded with delicious
hors d'oeuvre high marks
more nerve wracking
than going on a blind date.

And of course with enticing
forkful of flagrant food
Beep ping Update
completely disrupted first mouthful.

All la names bespeaking deity froom
Noah Mo' Room India Arc
of Covenant to crypt tick Blood
(sweat and tears) of
San Gennaro devout wowed,
and/or Turin shroud
consonantly, demonstrably,
desperately, faintly, glumly,
yet plaintively, muttered aloud,
no evading the steadily avowed

atheist approaching COSMO funnel
(dumb mental) stormy dan yell cloud,
cuz far as the eye could see -
at least by this Beatle browed
bipedal hominid (north, south,
east, and west), the conical, demoniacal,
and elliptical endowed
sky high reversed cone, bow wowed
wailing 10,000 maniacs +
same number of banshees

wove weft and white
across wide whirled web
whereat, the black vortex
vacuumed everything insight (chowed
down) with loud violent row
dee earsplitting soundcloud everything
within a vast path got plowed
obliterated, and annihilated proud
lee into bajillion smithereens,
hence mine entire being

held spellbindingly agog
frozen in place ruff lee akin
to well trained dog
without a chance to bark a blog
mired stock still courtesy,
sans extreme fear comp
pounded (maybe attributed
to absolute zero apr) via
quintessential supreme tear
roar immovable paralysis

plus helpless as pollywog
lacking seizure of critical
whatsapp cerebral cog
as if blinded by skewed light  
feeling doped up Asian a mental fog,
cuz nothing withstood
the incalculable suction
emitting barrage of sounds -
hmm...methinks or imagined,
I heard cry of a hog

amidst the pandemonium,
plus uproarious, ominous,
and insidious howl,
though still some
scant miles removed,
the deafening roar
felt like top of my head
blasted unable to jog
free (like a bajillion trained
thundering mashing monsters

at loggerheads) these screaming
quasi nemesis seemingly
horrifically, and directly
into my tender ears
constant subjection analogous
being ****** into a huge blender
to make eggnog
seemingly already felt
fate hermetically sealed,
where state of this Union

soldier reincarnate blocked
by quasi confederate, both of us
being shell shocked
blinded ability for me
to stand or wok
to plot life saving strategy,
meanwhile precious seconds
thinking about dark chalk
oh lot ticked away, and rocked
thee entire firmament punctuated

equilibrium by ram pent up ***
bull leave able decibels,
with Mother Earth locked
in life snd death battle accompanied
by volcanic explosions
humankind feebly mocked
puny battles, how so laugh
able compared and/or
contrasted nitpicking pelting,
and raining terrain akin

to cosmic giant that knocked
Gaia, whereby massive
objects in the mirror are closer
than they appear  
hurled at light speed deeply pocked
whirlwind raked every square inch
(triangulating, circulating),
videre licet topographic terrain)
witnessed me brazenly, frenziedly
and painstakingly crawling

to storm shelter
while simultaneously yanked
contrariwise ad hoc just in the sainted
nick of time, a flock
of seagulls (particularly Jonathan
Livingston swooped, and took me Bach
to the House At Pooh Corner
safely ensconced yay
fo' yew dear reader, cuz -
no mo' poetic schlock!

regarding my resumption
of daily/mostly nightly constitutional

I accompany my dark shadow...
(small number of  hours
before edge of night,
where twilight zone evokes night gallery -
drawing celestial sphere closer to me
from the outer limits),
and resumed walking a circuit
around perimeter of parking lot
imbibing the scent of Mother Nature
beginning today after

a hiatus of countless years -
aiming to foster stamina
before returning to the contra dance -
in Mount Airy after Paul Halpern
reconfigures pertinent characteristics
post cataract surgery
to fit appropriate spectacles)
meanwhile yours truly (me)
exercises his right to bare arms

air supply sustained
by breezy temperate
twenty seventh seal of Bergmanian
September two thousand
and twenty four, and perhaps
if regularly habituate myself
to said stroll physical endeavors
may one day find me to cantor or trot
and stop horsing around.

Yours truly realized modus operandi
to kombat (mortal) lethargy;
last year, he did stride rite
around resident parking lot area
(here at Highland Manor apartments)
then usually at approximately
19:00 hours each day
casually bumbling and ambling
one lap after another
counting one hundred and one,
one hundred and two,
one hundred and three...
coordinated with deep breathing
to distract self from repetitiveness.

Modicum of walking exercise
benefits this sexagenarian
in tandem yours truly began
burning ghee (my slang for calories)
while maintaining sitting position
placing each foot in strap
and pedalling lightweight machine
against adjusted tension.

Aside from strengthening leg muscles
choosing to while away time
by disciplining myself
with former or latter,
both modes of physical fitness
also help keep anguish at bay
(plus sublimating, and redirecting
formerly tied in with hair compulsion)
mental duress triggered
courtesy of property management
constituting: Zoftig, the warden

and maintenance man,
(a recent hire),
the first two whose invisible clutches
asphyxiate me and the missus
hounding us to keep
one bedroom apartment in shipshape order
and particularly and somewhat unpleasant
to wipe away fruit fly feces
(cuz exterminator informed us
said itty bitty teeny weeny insect
breeds within their

yellowish gummy waste matter)
prompting us to Google search
senior low income apartment facilities,
spurring spurious query wondering
whether any anonymous reader
might be able, eager, ready and willing
to hand over keys to main lodging
including carriage house,
we would even settle for a dog house
or (in a manor of writing) Yukon
assign access rights
to access an excellent outlook.

Sense and sensibility concerning
the emotional fallout
brought about by sedentariness
(essentially affecting me to feel
glum, melancholy, and ruminative)
helped goad generic indigent solitary man
(practically self quarantined
his whole mucked up adult life),
hence not inconvenienced
when coronavirus COVID-19
wrought havoc and mayhem.

Just on the cusp of experiencing joie de vivre,
the triumvirate of Crooks and Quade
figuratively swoop down
to announce re: inspection
of apartment unit B44
whenever they deem appropriate.

Thus series of unfortunate events
(linkedin with bull limey
Lemony Snicket bro)
got sidelined nsync with
contracting a minor bout
with deadly Amish Flu
symptoms include feeling horse
and a little buggy found
garden variety reasonable rhymer
faux being bedridden
(just pretending to get sympathy)
once again feigning feeling
a little horse and buggy (ha),
incapacitated to craft
original signature poetry writing,
cuz for your edification
most of these words written
at least a couple years ago.

An honest to dog confession
regarding hiatus spewing forth
vociferous versatile vocabulary
mine words - worth their weight in gold
(told woofer I do not know), nevertheless
included perusing a gamut of reading material.

The passion to engross intellect
witnessed courtesy immersing
attention, concentration, excitation
gratification, intoxication;
knowledge prized more precious
than fine spun gold.

Likewise crafting (albeit painstakingly)
elusive notions that flit
to and fro hither and yon
(analogous to ping pong ball)
within parameters of
microscopically crenellated
sixty plus shades of gray matter
also constitutes fervent interest.

Nonetheless this bard ****
videre licet punster mocker feels gratitude
courtesy Kaitlyn Gilsenan, PA-C
a moost deal height full medical technician
without cerumen eye zing
September 27th, 2024 'ere
and thank dog guardian angels,
who find me continually blessed
regarding audiological sense to hear,
whereby faculty sound waves
enter outer ear and travel through
a narrow passageway
called the ear canal,
which leads to the eardrum.

The eardrum vibrates
from incoming sound waves
and sends these vibrations
to three tiny bones in the middle ear.

These bones are called
the malleus, incus, and stapes
availing yours (us) truly to hear
such phenomena quite amaze zing
listening to structures of silence on wing
and prayer grateful dead ring
around the collar soundwaves,
which analogously ping
pong with supreme functionality
and pleasantly and gloriously bring
audible world wide web despite
my senescence, though
amazingly gracefully aging.

Vacuum suction instrument
extracted waxy secretion
made up of dead skin cells and hair
that combine with discharge
from two different glands
in case your not ad aware
allowing me to revel
detecting auditory sounds
particularly evening mating call
of a distant Neanderthal

cave woman dear
such simple pleasure + specialists
magic touch who restore
bitta bing bitta bang receive little fanfare
for the common man
though gratitude prompts this Harris heir
to wince as when Androcles pulled thorn
from out paw of lion ensconced in his lair
relief from short lived discomfort vis a vis
insertion to probe with utmost care

once again restores ability to detect
sounds far or near
sans glob of gelatinous goo aerates passage
way to appease head of this papa bear
he roars like Tony Tiger with utmost delight,
which might easily be confused as a glare
ring against blockage
wrought by ear wax ***
solid and to seat self and enjoy pleasure
of sitting on angelic porcelain chair

expending maximum exertion
to expel obstructed waste within uranus
jabbing little sphincter sphere
induces analogous painful defecation
from constipated rear
once either bound orifice freed from
gob lit tee **** obstruction finds
writing glorious air
no more extreme muffled nor pearl jam
fluid pressure in Eustachian tube

bring little relief analogous
experiencing swollen vein or
group of veins in **** aggravating hemorrhoids
pulled to the max and practically tear
ring until every last ounce of muscular
might applied via
primal screams filling the air,
whence solid waste
from body jettisoned on a par
which I reiterate above

with different wording
caked brown blockage making
this chap feel deaf and barely able to hear
when gooey resin from skin cells
lining our outer ear canals
constituting tiny glands relieved
from stopper like strikers at O’Hare
finally remedied from medical practitioner
an absolute save e year
allowing Matthew Scott Harris, who
once again can exalt in life without a care.

Though no medical practitioner,
yours truly doth assign
value to learn tidbits,
enamored how biology
and evolution did codesign
about body electric (mine)
being proactive to nip
in figurative bud potential detriment,
that usually gets diagnosed as benign,

especially biannual examination
concerning ears, nose and throat
relieved said ***** divine
delivering sonic boom, where
one mortal grovels, while fading
sunlight dances and
enables fading poetic moonshine
to manifest itself without rhyme
nor reason, neither sense nein

sensibility, no doubt readers pine
I desist tempting urge to combine
words together begot
as prodigy progeny
directly linkedin with
impressive "fake" authorial scion
just back after after taking extended
holiday/sabbatical within Apennine
Mountains to bolster every vital sign.

Modern medical science doth allow
enable, and provide this primate
cause he feels wowed at how
examinations every now
and again (usually six months apart)
Medicare doth pay
so one doggone old sow
war **** till death
doth him part, he will vow
to vet health issues,
and in the end barks a final bow wow.