made fibrous threads...constituting heavy blanket
(crocheted by the missus)
on a cool Autumn like morning...

to stave off experiencing getting
chilblains, goosebumps,
or subjected to the blast of cold air
wafting thru the opened bedroom window
on a frosty early August morning
about a month before official start of Autumn.

Quite refreshing the brisk temperatures
courtesy a cold front
that allows, enables, and provides
a harbinger and foretaste
when those hazy, hot, and humid, languid
and torpid days of summer quickly forgotten
as the lazy fox jumped over the brown dog
the latter slumbering
after weathering triple digit temperatures
record breaking heat waves
for the history books.

Though generally prone to being tired
subsequently driven to be a caffeine ******
unable to swing from trees like me monkey
forebears, I get energized
after an early afternoon siesta
in tandem with the missus
unwittingly actualizing, employing,
implementing, and underwriting
Sir Isaac Newton's first law of motion
also known as the law of inertia, states
that an object at rest will remain at rest,
or if in motion, will remain in motion
at a constant velocity
unless acted upon by an external force.

The above immovable status of one body,
albeit human an ideal synopsis of yours truly
all throughout his doggone life, especially
when a student (at the School of Hard Knocks)
remaining deaf, dumb
and mute to the webbed wide world:
if asked a question responding with
my quintessential shoulder shrug,
which characteristic inherited
courtesy our youngest
and second born daughter.

Cold winter days
seem closer on the horizon,
when yours truly sequesters,
and cloisters himself with bad company -
not by personal choice -
i.e. those pesky fruit flies riddling man cave
within four walls of apartment unit b44
for seven long years of penal solitude
(denuded of cell bate)
unlike conventional Norwegian bachelor farmers
living social during their Neptune salad days
and a side apertif of powder milk biscuits.

Ungroomed hair on head and face
found my mother back in the day
when I unfortunately lived under the same roof
as an emerging adult
with mother and father;
she resorted to hashtagging me
(her one and only prodigal son)
as a member of the Ubangi tribe,
the name of peoples
who live in the Congo River basin
to the west of Mossaka,
while the Binga Pygmies and the Sanga
scattered through the northern basin.

Being demonized, humiliated,
lambasted, psychologically
like totally vilified et cetera
(courtesy mommy dearest,
who referred to me
when a little boy as her monkey)
kickstarted inferiority complex
and a love of bananas.

I ofttimes consider myself the missing link,
a hypothetical extinct creature  
thought to be an intermediate form
in the evolutionary line between
modern humans and their ape-like ancestors
scraping his knuckles along the ground
as he ambles along
the boulevard of broken dreams
******* primal grunts and groans
essentially the mating call
inevitably invoking ribald hyena like guffaws
from uber hominids within the human jungle,
who managed to lyft themselves
by their bootstraps.

no matter whether or not ya give a hoot

especially after feeling super charged
watching the second night of
Democratic National Convention conclave
ushering a hint of "Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.

Men and women are born and remain free and equal in rights. Social distinctions may be founded only upon the common good.

Article 1 of the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen (‘Déclaration des Droits de l’Homme et du Citoyen’)

Yours truly (a poker face)
exceptionally shy person
as a little boy who maintained an
inscrutable impassive expression
that hid my true feelings
similar to an adept card "Sharp" and "shark"
born this way nocturnal chronotype.

I dusk cover tenebrous dark shadows
creeping closer along the edge of night
punctuating the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
where something mist tickle
and magical happens
after the stroke of midnight
during the wee hours of a dawning day.

When morning hath broken
tis time to prepare tea for the tillerman
fifty plus shades of gray matter
in mine noggin o' mine feels askew
eyes wanna remain shut tight
add teared with super glue
bookmarking, dawning, and foisting
wispy tendrils o' daylight curlicue
wing analogous to fragrant
aroma of barbecue

said quotidian wake up calls
could not gently assuage, bestir,
boot cannot command.com, i.o.sys,
nor msdos.sys me
to arouse yours truly anew
without fail generated
abort, retry, and fail
thus deadened to
world wide web, I continued
to remain dead,

albeit "FAKE" robbed zombie,
this inability to evince being
bright eyed and bushy tailed
not always true
cuz, I remember myself as
precious, hilarious, rambunctious... kid shew
wing vital signs of life easily
confused for screeching bat that flew
out the portals of Hellenistic Hades
wolfing down breakfast of champions,

cereal, and then bidding cheery adieu
to mother (during her
prime mate ting years)
dashing off (with two
twisted sisters in tow)
to board school bus,
while said vehicle still in moe
shun, bobbing up and down,
(no app pell Le Cajun needed)
excited to mingle amidst peers,

especially Joe King
even when afflicted with Dengue
Fever, a slight setback
eagerly awaiting new
learning would ensue
maintaining enthusiastic countenance
never showing moue
handy dandy dee moody blue
affectation, yet buzzfeeding thru
one grade after another with flying colors

well..., not quite
straight exemplary A's, B's, nor C's
mine doting parents never made overissue
regarding grades (mine hew
wing, trending Xing past
beginning of ABC – alphabet)
nonetheless promoted,
cuz momma and poppa did eschew
the punishing impact,
wrought courtesy repeated grade

thus hopping, skipping,
and jumping kangaroo
simultaneously reed dully
playing invisible didgeridoo
until BAM, arising chipper as a lark
became futile effort this yahoo
suddenly feeling hijacked,
lowjacked, whacked... numbskull
metaphorically within by bamboo,
nope remaining like ****** temple pilot

doggone catatonic dunderhead *****
loose wooden demeanor,
when at some juncture switcheroo
inside this body dielectric fleshy hue
man, whereby he dozed off
until...four after midnight, (or thereabouts)
invariably entranced by practitioner of voodoo
hok kood also tame a shrew
wild horses couldn't drag me out of bed
(been there... done that) even a slew

of feral ponies quasi native -
all muscle and sinew
to Chincoteague, and/
or Assateague Islands,
thus resigned myself maximizing energy
particularly after using water loo
when hunger pains drove acute
ability with absolute zero effort
yes believe me you
such hyperawareness came to rescue
writer's block - whew!

Predicated on his paying obese sense
to Ronald McDonald patron saint
buzzfeeding his pie hole
courtesy "two Big Macs, Fillet-O-Fish
and a chocolate malted,"
he hungrily nabbed the ⁦Tuesday,
November 5, 2024⁩ election
ofttimes series of unfortunate events
found him holed up
in his Mar-a-Lago Donjon club.

After demise of western civilization
linkedin to implementation of Project 2025
courtesy the forty seventh president
of these currently fragmented United States,
left a legacy that rivaled
the fall of the Roman Empire.

Nary a trace of North American grandeur
discerned amidst the bombed out
rubble strewn landscape
after the second Civil War,
triggered global mortal kombat,
which far eclipsed
the first and second world wars
in death and destruction
(courtesy Beatle browed
foo fighting, gun toting rebel rousers,
who fomented revolution)
rent asunder many a complex edifice
symbolizing once cherished
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

Feeble hot pockets of resistance
constituting battle weary
tried and true troopers for democracy
outmatched by phalanx
of heavily armed local militia.

No matter wickedly wrought shenanigans
essentially widely accessible
Artificial Intelligence tools
allowed, enabled, and provided users
to synthesize audio in anyone’s voice,
generated photo-realistic images of anybody
doing nearly anything, and power
social media bot accounts
with near human-level conversational abilities —
and rendered on a vast scale and with a reduced
or negligible investment of money and time.

Due to the popularization of chatbots
and the search engines
they quickly became absorbed into,
also disallowed, disabled the first election season
in which large numbers of voters
routinely consumed information
that is not just curated
by Artificial Intelligence
but produced by Artificial Intelligence.

Blatantly unconcerned
about the populace at large,
nor any promises made
while he angrily stormed
across the country
stumping as dictator of the free world
after riling the madding crowds
enthusiastically populating campaign trail,
most of his waking hours spent
schmoozing with other de facto
autocrats while divvying up the *****
of annexed, subjected vassal states,
(a vast swath of territory
mainly comprising the former Soviet
breakaway Baltic states,
and about a dozen republics
under the sway of Russia),
violently yanked back in the fold
of Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Within this brave new webbed, wide world
each man, woman and child
needs to fend for him/herself,
and those people flush
with ample disposable income
will pay (thru the nose,
hence the bigger the schnoz the better)
for security details unless he/she
presents an intimidating mean mien,
possesses black belt
with at least one martial arts,
or a powerful lucky charm
to ward off threatening hooligans.

Essentially lawlessness will run amuck
imagined in one guise as
the phantom of the opera nemesis
multi pronged ferocious buck
accompanied by an outsize
chicken legged stricken man,
who doth bawk and cluck
also enlisting cannibalistic
commander in chief wannabe
tricked out as Donald Duck.

Even prior to any political fracas,
I decry being dependent
(and at the mercy)
to purchase commodities
within consumerist society hierarchy,
yet envy people who live off the grid
fostering an ecologically friendly lifestyle,
versus being linkedin to Market capitalism
(an economic system where private individuals
and corporations own the means of production,

and the government has a limited role)
yet yours truly never aggressively learned how
to become self sufficient ala **** Proenneke
(him of "Alone in the Wilderness" fame -
when he retired at age 50 in 1967  
decided to build his own cabin in the wilderness
at the base of the Aleutian Peninsula,
in what is now Lake Clark National Park)
and certainly never belonged
to an Amish community,

never surviving with some degree
of independent comfort,
cuz the sole son of Harriet and Boyce Harris
overstayed his welcome
by living social under the same roof
as said mother and father,
who ofttimes delivered hollow ultimatums
to shape up or ship out –
meaning intolerance exhibited
toward their singular male offspring,

who struggled securing
and maintaining gainful employment),
hence fantasies throve
somehow magically acquiring
carpentry and farming skills
sturdy accommodations house families
where every timber secured by strong hands,
and stitch of clothing sewn courtesy adroit woman
traditional gender stereotypical roles obeyed
as if ordained by Biblical
credo, fiat, ideology, et cetera.

one helluva comparative
humdinger savvy shopper,
who can rattle off the best buy
for most any given item,
at the drop of a hat
analogous to baseball fanatic
(unlike myself who knows and cares
nothing about the game)
spewing forth Batting average (BA),
on-base percentage (OBP),
and slugging percentage (SLG)  
often referred to together
as a player's "slash line".

A fourth batting stat
known as on-base plus slugging (OPS),
which is a combination of OBP and SLG.

Other batting stats include runs batted in (RBI),
where a batter is credited with an RBI
when they score a run
as a result of their plate appearance.

Meanwhile back to the wife,
who would willingly truck
(courtesy driving our 2020 Sonata Elantra)
from one store or another
to purchase sought after item(s)
despite schlepping the extra miles,
and often scoops up goods
from clearance section,
and adheres to the postman's credo
"Neither snow nor rain nor heat
nor gloom of night stays these couriers
from the swift completion
of their appointed rounds"
often considered the motto
and inscribed in gray granite
above the entrance
to the New York City Post Office.

The phrase comes from
The Persian Wars by Herodotus,
written around 500 B.C.
during the wars between
the Greeks and Persians.

Herodotus referring to the Persian
mounted postal couriers,
who he observed with great admiration
and said were undeterred
by the elements
from completing their rounds.

The phrase was modified and approved
by the Post Office Department in 1914
by William Mitchell Kendall,
an architect at McKim, Mead & White,
the firm that designed
the New York General Post Office.

Kendall (the son of a classics scholar)
enjoyed reading Greek.

Every now and again, I accompany her,
after she tries in vain
to coax and wheedle yours truly
(with threats she won't
buy me any favorite drinks -
such as Kombucha),
nevertheless but frequently remain
holed up in our one bedroom apartment
disinclined to subject myself,

(a socially anxious aging baby boomer,
and lapsed long hair pencil neck geek to boot)
to the cruel embarrassment and harassment
linkedin with Samson syndrome
characterized courtesy lovely long golden locks,
(and rivaling the storied Rapunzel)
despite the small investment in shampoo
bully me prime target for mean people
who offer their unsolicited feedback

Matter of fact, she went out
earlier this saturday morning
(enjoying spate of cool temperature
for August seventeenth
and accompanied by light rain
courtesy hurricane ernesto
to unload bags of recyclables
jammed into the trunk
giving the television show
characters Sanford and Son
(a 1972 break out hit),
a run for their money.

courtesy the comfort of his mancave,
I (a mutated batman wannabe)
doth prattle and stump
and display wide whirled webbed
and variegated tail feathers
(also known as rectrices) of mine,
cuz in actuality true bats
as quoted verbatim from Google
“lack tail feathers,
but they do sport tails that vary in structure
and can help with classification.

For example, vespertilionids have tails
that run to the end of their uropatagiums,
while molossids and rhinopomatids
have tails that extend beyond the membrane.

These species may use their tails
to feel their way around
when backing into crevices.

Other bats, like emballonurids,
have tails that are shorter
than the membrane and rise above it.

They belong to the order Chiroptera,
which means "hand wing".

Bats have long fingers that form wings,
and a thin membrane called a patagium
that stretches between their finger bones.

This membrane, along
with their many movable joints,
makes bats agile fliers” - end quote.

After aforementioned introduction  
regarding why I proudly pride myself
with rare genetic anomaly
that evokes rumpled stilts skin,
I not only feel analogous to
a mysterious gnome-like character
from the German
fairy tale Rumpelstiltskin,
but also parade mutation
like an out of season mummer,
who originally posted
the following lines
of this poem crafted August 15, 2023.

That unnamed demagogue reincarnate
feels gifted to reign supreme
captivates, glorifies, lauds,
renounces, yawps extreme
views bellows dogmatic fulminations
in an attempt to redeem
supposed stolen 2020 capital one bid
and seal lock, stock and tight as a barrel
the upcoming ⁦election Tuesday,
November fifth, 2024⁩.

Which pseudo/quasi hunter
chomping at the bit (biden his time)
will reap grim statistic, when citizens
hopefully cast their ballots
for the first female and biracial president
in the popular vote 'videre licet' 2024 election)
unbeknownst whether Kamala Harris
the dark horse candidate will accrue
majority votes after
ramping up diplomatic repartee
against mudslinging toward her,

whereby her opponent violently stirs cauldron
proffering toxic brew
powerful blend to spellbind public
elixir ration to parlay a view to unleash
vengeance laced with hate speech
triggering doomsday clock to strike midnight
when nuclear weapons
get loosed out their silos on cue
destroying vast swaths of flora and fauna,
most innocent life forms will pay hefty due

to assuage aggressively cruel, enjoyably
growling goal, and indubitably
kick **** mindset
worse than dengue fever will ensue
a combustible domino effect
fueling global horror –
scenario of webbed, wide world I eschew
analogous to kindling tinder logs smoke
jetting up fireplace flue
witnessing sovereign spookiest

magnum opus – engendering, jump/kick
starting, and transforming much of animal
and plant life into goo,
(especially after special prosecutor
Robert Mueller let go some years back)
far scarier than any macabre production
dreamt up by human
frightful scenario hero
she ma, or nog a saké (paltry in comparison)
will rescue us from deadly debacle,

nor any safe haven such as cool igloo
forsooth thee annihilation will surpass
any prior world war, no one will be spared,
neither gentile nor Jew
which all out total mortal kombat,
and attendant dystopian landscape
laying waste organisms livingsocial
will instantaneously undergo cremation,
despite Georgia grand jury courtesy
indicting former President Donald Trump

that rained down as Stormy Daniels
upon his head and up the kazoo,
where flecks of ashes will spread like Kudzu
rendering world wide web
fetid, offal, and putrid
far more noxious than the common loo
yet even this general description
falls far short to where mew
tinny, sans hardy species
(according to Google search);

such as tardigrade, mummichog, and cockroach
decimating, heaving, leveling, poisoning
nearly every cubic inch of Earth
evincing voluminous vaporization
extant eradication emphatically
nixed, punctuated, and radiated
pulverization eviscerating bowels of mankind,
where nary a survivor, especially foreigner
could weather and withstand
hollowed out no mans land

bereft of sustenance or water
where seeds of life
and white lily when coalescence
of oblate spheroid birthed,
nursed, and weaned new
life especially proto **** sapiens
and subsequent kin grunting
with ah and sheepish ewe where
rambunctious fast tracked primates,
yet inherent within genetic coda,

(perhaps poison ingredient bubbling
within primordial soup - steeped qua pew
tarnation housing crucible-
analogous to planetary size
mortar and pestle) queue
sans predestination, where rue
brick, dogma, and fealty
honoring justice slew
by paws of one cancerous,
fractious and idolatrous Lothario,
who opened Pandora Box

(rigged by bobbies shut tight) thorough
lee rendered civilization a footnote
of cosmological history and universal view
where if one eligible voter
ideally chooses alternate
Democratic, but hands down
Republican candidate will clinch nomination,
witnessing elephants to stampede,
the majority will exhale a collective whew
and allow, enable and provide
no end to speculation about
decimation about me, you
and continuance of the human zoo.

Once again tis time to pony up and trot out (neigh - without horsing around) an unforgettable day encompassing a series of unfortunate events (so take that Lemony Snicket! - yeah go ahead and picket!).

Wicked bad day poem
originally crafted, designed, engineered...
then alternately titled
for no particular rhyme nor reason:
unwitting courtesy extended
to Doctor Donald (Duck) Dossey  
who coined paraskevidekatriaphobia.

Superstitious severely tested across fineline
doggedly gingerly jinxing luck of mine
August thirteenth nineteen hundred and ninety nine
forever etched in the annals of my personal infamy
as one still sending hair raising shivers down my spine
which following unpleasant details occurred on a street
that branched off kind of like a fork tine
adjacent to one named Woodbine.

Prior to the following awful events
that unfolded aforementioned day
somewhat solemn and gray
I did not consider myself unduly superstitious
nor prone to bouts of triskaidekaphobia/
paraskevidekatriaphobia  no how no way.

Yet that particular Friday
the thirteenth baptized me
in the ****** waters of superstition unequivocally
whence upon waking said particular morning
the search for funereal garb found me
burrowing into a small closet  
while bending on one knee,
and nonchalantly rummaging

for suitable article of clothing to wear
(per the wake/
sitting shiva of William Zison
the octogenarian father in law)
an unbeknownst ill fate
lurked just seconds away
ready to cap cha an innocent prey
as any unseen observer
and/or pet would agree.

Hands rifled and rustled
thru various and sundry
miscellaneous items in one or another box
mostly clothing and other apparel
draped in coat hangers
plus a precariously perched

heavy tin of yarn heavy as rocks
began to teeter from top ledge,
than made a slow inexorable descent
in direct path of thy crown
containing valued mental stocks.

The topmost part of thine skull
felt impact of sharp metallic rim
that left an indentation in soft part of scalp –
more’n an abrasive skim
and bent circular shape

of contrivance filled to the hilt
one law of physics pertaining
to falling object (taught to me)
acquires greater mass
accelerating with velocity and vim.

Upon reflexively yet tentatively
touching raw sore spot
fingertips revealed presence of warm liquid
soon coagulating into a pulpy gordian knot
from sharp lipped impact registering nausea
and vertigo quite a lot
hence sewing crafts managed to stitch
a tattooed laceration forming a ****** clot.

Body writhed with physical torment
as if being only partially alive
whereby waves of blacking
or passing out found me swooning
ready to take a swan dive
nonetheless from Schwenksville
to Penn Valley, I did
(by divine grace) safely drive
whence family members and relatives
once destination reached, the motley crue
began organized car pool arrangements
per heading off to the cemetery,

which caravan formation  
similar to a human bee hive,
yours truly declined to go
communicating persistent distress from mishap
I bowed wowed out, stayed home
and kept company with a dog
(purportedly man’s best friend)
(said pet belonging to a friend
of eldest sister in law),
whose open palmed overtures
of mine did not jive.

An impulse found fingers reaching out
to stroke this unfamiliar animal
supposedly man’s best friend
only to find sharp teeth from canine jaw
clamped down ******* hand
which second ****** injury,
my mother affixed a butterfly bandage
to expedite the injury to mend,
I did immediately tend
while bolts of white hot pain
shot thru lower extremity of palm
radiated upward through forearm
into shoulder did wend.

The following scenario imagined
after the hoopla of
Democratic National Convention miracle workers
Kamala Harris and Tim Walz
trumpeted politically wholesome zeal,
and achieved advancement
propelling them ahead
in the race to the White House.

Unlike the hangdog expression of Eeyore
the current vice president of the United States
linkedin with governor of Minnesota
woke the electorate and victory they did score.

The donkey brays
with hearty "hee-haw" sound
finding formerly grim predictions
as foregone conclusion
reversing what appeared
as a near landslide victory
for the party where pachyderm
characterized as mascot

Fiery rhetoric mobilized populace
unlike former lackluster candidate,
a common Joe - just Biden his time
foretelling a horrid and gloomy fate
championed courtesy overstuffed
ego freezing ingrate
donning trappings of narcissism,
he didst "Libidinally" luxuriate
lacking honorable communication skills to orate
glibly dripping savage machismo sore loser
mean mien patron of vile hint
said unnamed contestant doth remonstrate
accompanied with sax, and violins
and fiendish banshees that ululate.

We will not go back
to the a bomb bin able Flintstone days of yore
bubba's zayda's bubba's zayda to the nth power,
where tyrannical patriarchal misogynistic jack
of all trades and master of none
played knick knack paddy whack.

If thee dear reader a childless female
litter really say yes
to being a weird fraidy cat lady
cheeses crust, especially even trounced
courtesy mouse a lean knee.

For those whose re: productive years
lie in the future,
the world is your oyster
and for those about to rock, we salute you
government houses golden opportunities,
a veritable unexplored treasure trove
potentially pitting thee untested newbie,
whether young lad or lass
into metaphorical formidable no man's land,
a danger zone barred against fairer ***,
or really anybody not battle tested,
yet with adequate trappings,

one can garner access
to trespass into territory
bound by razor wire
with signs stating “keep out”
(all the more reason to enter)
verboten off limits barred regions,
where the wild things are
don't be deterred to brave war zone
ringed with hot pockets
of intense mortal kombat,
where absolute zero odds as survivor
against brutal and nasty onslaught.

A similar probability stacked
against likelihood the forty sixth president
would clinch the nomination
to serve a second term
as the oldest commander in chief
since Kamala Harris
now holds strong sway
surpassing in popularity the oaf,
cuz a cutthroat villain Trump doth portray,
which tactics incorporate aspersions
toward opposition his trademark vituperation
likened to blowhard sore loser,
a proxy war of misinformation

his dom minions submissively inveigh
bully me, whereby
sowing seeds of insurrection
supposed to make America great again
as patriarchal White Anglo Saxon domain
turning back figurative clock
on socially progressive headway
presently allowing, enabling, and providing
life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
to bank nest egg upon advent
when shades of gray
pepper combed over coiffed hair
or periwig donned faux virility to display.