Writer of these words,
a former Lower Providence inhabitant,
who dwelled within darkest depths
of Dante Alighieri's inferno
for most of his outlandish, impish,
and devilish growing up years
witnessed microscopic scrimmage,
where spermatozoan with most forcefulness
muscled itself handedly,
magnificently, and splendidly
envision unicellular olympic competition,

yours truly swimmingly
begot during the heat
of parents being passionately fruitful
courtesy diploid erogenous frisson
between my then searingly
robust virile father and fecund mother
~ late March/early April 1958
ushered seminal moment
post ova fertilization realization
courtesy male gamete

penetrating zona pellucida
a glycoprotein layer surrounding the oocyte
triggering cell bait multiplication
subsequently yielding male
gendered offspring and sole son
hashtagged as uber twittering, snapchatting,
shutterflying super duper
cute little boy with short strawberry blond hair,
whose solitudinarian nature
became quite evident when he displayed
acute social withdrawal

upon off fish shill commencement
getting schooled as a grouper
by mister Hooper,
who made his debut
appearance on Sesame Street
November 10, 1969
as storied and staple long time resident
on above named television show
until March 18, 1983,
beloved by adults and children alike

within make believe community
(a conglomerate of real and imaginary locales)
peopled with proprietary named characters
for any of a number of humorously grotesque
glove or rod puppets and marionettes,
chiefly representing animals,
first popularized, idolized,
dramatized, capitalized, and actualized
by the children's television programme
Sesame Street (1969-) and more recently
in The Muppet Show (1976-80).

Also: a toy made to resemble one of these
ingenious brainchild of Jim Maury Henson
an American puppeteer, animator, actor,
and filmmaker who achieved worldwide
notability as the creator of the Muppets
which series originated as two pilot episodes
produced by Henson for ABC in 1974 and 1975.

Henson's shocking, sudden death occurred on May 16, 1990 of ***** failure resulting from streptococcal toxic shock syndrome. An emotional memorial service was held five days later at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City.

Living social amidst
crime infested urban jungle
bumping uglies cheek to jowl
analogous fate being housed in jail
escape room of great outdoors
spurred subject matter in question
to journey to hinterlands
far from madding crowd
of Fort Lauderdale
woodsman ever watchful for Centaur

the body and legs of a horse
and with the head,
arms, and torso of a male
equipped with crossbow as scare tactic
shaft piercing flesh
no worse than nine inch nail
vehemently decried nasty,
short and brutish beastie boys
Greek mythological character
come to earth as animal savior
considered louts unfairly advantageous

killing wildlife as deal breaker
for uber twittering overscale
trespassers slaying innocent creature
no matter game good n plenti
eco consciousness mindedness
prompted inner conflict to prevail
as ace archer held taut
likened to nock fletched arrow in quiver
or shaking dandering quail
caught in carnivorous crosshairs,

where hunter doth regale
and remember to embellish maxim
one bird in the hand
worth two in the bush
opportunistically praises quarry
as divine intervention
after heavens he did intently surveil
Brief Mane n' Tail
shampoo tall (tell) tale
as Jonah felt when he got
swallowed by a whale.

Once upon a time
in a previous life of course,
anonymous wordsmith tour de force
yours truly (me)
remembers being a horse,
the handsome fine companion
of one Norwegian bachelor farmer,
who lived near Lake Wobegon,
which Minnesota enclave
analogous to Old Norse

country, anyway while
subsequently reincarnated
as beast of burden animal
(said steed synonyms
courtesy Roget's Thesaurus),
with flowing and glistening mane
and tail cuz lovely and neighborly lass
regularly shampooed former and latter,
nevertheless, I escaped captivity
and found myself in a fate far worse.

In present incarnation
shackled (née yoked
like an oxen to a plow)
manned courtesy Piers Plowman
to husbandry duties
after pledging troth and wed
as generic bipedal hominid thoroughbred
**** sapiens punk rocker,
I plod and tread
along boulevard of broken dreams,

fast as greased lightning, I sped
but these spindleshanks
ain't quick enough,
now as an old enfeebled
gentleman well read
luscious brown locks
adorn noggin of me Mister Ned
existential crisis offset
washing hair (applying
Mane n' Tail shampoo

the only pride and joy)
a wishy washy talking head
until these lovely bones become dead,
which cremains of min
slated to get dispersed and scattered
to the four winds
where ashes will be absorbed
buzzfeeding courtesy Horse Chestnut
purpose driven life
covering, functioning, and incorporating
self analogous to bedspread.

Betwixt and between us
lies an immense untraversable realm
of never knowable forbidding possibilities
quixotic, rhapsodic, sympathetic, telepathic...,
where tantalizing, scandalizing, and revolting,
nevertheless promising fantasies beckons
buzzfeeding, crowdsourcing, dovetailing,
earthshaking, foo fighting, hashtagging,
jump/kick starting, twittering
uber whatsapp pining

toward pinteresting paroxysms
of mental, physical, and spiritual ecstasy
courtesy hotmail testosterone teasing temptation,
thus methinks of the infinitely jesting
combinations and permutations,
where we could frolic in the autumn mist
in a land called Honah Lee
far from the madding crowd
starkly aware of naked (lunch) able truth,
the one predominant potential

to become linkedin narcissistically -
betokens prematurely ******* salvation
back sliding against turpitude,
how laughable when
within body electric of mine
these lovely bones linkedin
where hypocrisy reigns supreme
validating yours truly (me) deserving
casanova wannabe comeuppance
about a decade and a half after

risqué monkey business
came back to our abode
at 724 West Railroad Avenue,
Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania
as a tongue tied guilt riddled spouse
exuding culpable, deplorable,
and execrable friggin gall
unbridled travesty spent
ideally groomed for male escort
tasting tender verboten hello kitty vittles

totally tubular transgressions,
I tiptoed thru the tulips
the missus issuing rank vehemence
being livid with rage an understatement
against husbandly underhandedness
warranting his well deserved
videre licet just desserts,
where doled out tidbits heavily sprinkled
with accusation, condemnation, fulmination,
she eyeing sharp object, whereat

wife subsequently mulled over
dead serious contemplation
humiliation in juxtaposition with jugulation
repentant spouse himself gladly experienced
punishing blackened barbs
accompanied additionally
by little puncture wounds
scoring the skin courtesy
analogous to titanium bullets
shot out from beebee gun

eliciting character assassination
involving, seducing qua inveigling,
masterfully baiting adultery
most beastly conniving divorcée
gallivanting across Cumberland Farms
in flagrante delicto gourmand
luring complicit mistress
during dead of winter ~ 2010
toward **** rock within copse
housing The Washington Memorial Chapel
built in 1903 serving dual purpose.

courtesy latitudinarian, nonestablishmentarian,
sexagenarian, and Unitarian son
and modest mastermind maven maverick.

Another anniversary of her death occurs
upon advent of
May fourth two thousand and five,
not quite seventy years since her birth
November thirteenth nineteen thirty five,
nor fifty years
a married bride at age nineteen,
cuz back in dem days,
an unmarried woman
at twenty five would be
written off as a spinster.

Way back before
this baby boomer waz astute
countless decades before
aye became long in the tooth,
and also prior tomb ma mouth
sporting dentures to boot
fond memories rush
linkedin to moody blues
more than so far back
envisioning illusory wind blown steppes

(wait...this visage belongs to thine
long since deceased maternal grandfather
hub hill eave didst hail from Kiev,
(now spelled Ukrainian version - Kyiv)
or some place thereabouts within the mind
of this prevaricating aging
"FAKE" barnstorming ole coot
preserved records,
(those times before cds or dvds)
and now rewinds tape

when family of origin
celebrated Xmas secular Harris
house style rendition of Magic Flute,
though genealogy steeped in Judaism
recollections abound of boyhood mirth
devoid of aforementioned rubric asper
orthodox and/or reformed
Judeo-Christian religion,
which essentially means,
I did not give or take a hoot

nonetheless cherish fond memories,
when ma late mum
relished making a hoo ha,
and got tickled and pickled pink
rousing a hullabaloo wrapping presents
and jamming three knee high stockings
with healthy goodies such as fruit
cuz, as a devotee
of Carleton Fredericks,
she frowned on giving out sweets

particularly to three children she begat,
(myself and two sisters)
and iced hill easily
recall her poker faced
feigning complete ignorance and surprise
sheep played “dumb” as did father
convincingly not giving a hoot
puzzled asper neatly wrapped and
stacked gifts under decorated tree
while distorted reflections of stockings

fractal shimmers from metallic gewgaws
in tandem of nostalgic magic
worth mo' than any amount of loot,
perhaps Christmas festivities a flash point moot,
when some jolly codger (papa)
dressed up, sans Santa Claus suit
and petsmart dogs doubled up as reindeer,
whose canine barking,
cavorting, and dashing
haphazardly set them

on a direct rural route
to pandemonium as crashing trimmed tree
cacophony elicited laughter, punctuated
equilibrium with irrepressible
escaped bursts of flatulence
(ah won't mention hoof from)
that emulated a toot.

Maternal grandfather of mine
long since passed among the living;
He left his Motherland
before onset of Holodomor,
a policy of the Soviet Union
aimed at the destruction
of the Ukrainian nation,
the 1932–1933 genocide in Ukraine.

The present doth bear witness
to repeated assaults upon
scapegoated innocent people.

Russian soldiers in general
and Vladimir Putin in particular
perpetuate outright injustice
against Ukrainian population.

Impossible mission to comprehend
the mindset of belligerent, egotistical,
indignant, *******, tsarist
self anointed totalitarian zealot.

Gross violation of human rights
blatantly carried out
courtesy diabolical genocidal horror
directly linkedin to Kremlin
official residence of president
of Russian Federation since 1991.

Jackknifed world wide web
teeters on the brink
of economic collapse
as mayhem rents asunder
western country Ukraine
the general Slavic word
for 'frontier region'
and 'marches' which referred,
most likely, to territories
of Kyivan Rus'.

Violation of basic covenant
imposes life and death
decision for multitudes
to flee their homeland
forsaking personal property
and cherished mementos
irreplaceable treasured trappings
left for invaders to ransack.

Those very villainous vultures
(metaphorically speaking or writing)
namely enemy Russian soldiers
bolster weaponry equipage
with disproportionate advanced
terrorizing precision machines
such as warplanes and Kalibr
(Caliber) cruise missiles,
carried by warplanes;
and Iskander missiles

allowing, enabling, and providing
a range of up to 500 kilometers
(around 300 miles);
The Soviet-designed Grad (Hail),
Smerch (Tornado) and Uragan
(Hurricane) multiple rocket launchers
designed to fire a salvo
of powerful rockets
to destroy concentrations
of troops or military equipment;
Cluster munitions and
thermobaric weapons.

Mass exodus of population
floods neighboring countries
Poland, Romania, Slovakia,
Hungary and Moldova
dazed and confused refugees
making journey across borders
crammed analogous to sardines
nevertheless hospitable strangers
welcome them with opened arms.

Without question scads of people
vulnerable to psychological ills
oversaturated with melancholia
concerning countless losses,
albeit violently wrenched
out their homeland,
whereat sons and father mandated
to stay behind and
defend the motherland
against surfeit of military might.

Meanwhile daughters and mothers
the latter saddled, and encumbered
with small children and pets
trundle toward safe haven
instantaneous citizenship guaranteed
no holds barred, nor no bolds hard.

Contrast the above with other
persecuted peoples most
allotted with melanin
and insync with attendant
definitive physical characteristics
populating marginalized jinxed
African, Central/South American,
Haitian, Mexican... regions
suffer worse fate than death

beleaguered, destitute hardship linkedin
with cutthroat fearsome insidious
lurking opportunistic ravenous
United States agents ready
to deport and send them back,
where certain misery
and interminable suffering
predictable as Earth will
rotate along 23.5 degrees
from plane of its orbit
around the sun
come the morrow.

Though aghast at grave atrocity
within the killing zone of Ukraine
will subsequently reconfigure, rejigger,
and reshuffle the Russian syndicate
of extreme wealth including Putin
controlling, governing, and
manipulating the franchise.

If in fact such a female and/or male exists
an insufferable existence clamors for surcease
against riptide of ineradicable anguish.

Living hand to mouth
for majority of mein kampf
(elle ex vee orbitz
roam'n around the nearest star)
punctuated with disequilibrium,
a comma date ting me
with penury and perdition.

Mental health issues aplenty
wrought courtesy congenital characteristics
manifestation of nasality
(thank submucous cleft palate)
linkedin with body dysmorphic disorder,
(whereat skinny legs
veritable spindleshanks of mine -
easily mistakenly
belong to generic flamingo)
laughably mismatched

and abhorred by yours truly,
a rather diminutive sexagenarian,
(okay, I stand tall)
at approximately seventy inches,
and weigh about
one hundred and forty five pounds
converted into British weight
equals10.3571428571 stone
whose reedy voice
easily increases in pitch,

when he (regularly)
experienced social anxiety
attendant with concomitant
physiological symptoms
such as: vertiginous undulations,
sweaty palms (palmar hyperhidrosis),
surge of adrenaline,
racing heart, and queasiness to boot
eased compliments nine medications
lastly pinhead (in my mind) caps off
anorexia nervosa scarred physique.

Academic and employment travails galore
dogged, hounded, lobbed at frangible psyche
I marginally experienced
high marks in school
but suffered cognitive difficulties
witnessed courtesy poor grades,
and getting promoted by skin of teeth;
A similarly unflattering track record
exhibited upon commencement
acquiring and retaining
sporadic gainful employment,

which stints getting hired
frequently quickly found me terminated
much to the chagrin
and anger from parents,
whereby strong emotions
(laced with colorful expletives)
found yours truly standing silent
allowing, enabling, and providing
rage against singular son
to internalize verbal assaults
upon my consciousness

further exacerbating
predisposition to psychological maladies
ill suited to marriage or fatherhood
both endeavors embarked upon
at the expense of now grown daughters,
whose childhood years
festered with indigence,
and pathetic excuse for father
plus emotionally immature
absolute zero worthiness as helpmate.

Thus...no surprise
Wrath Of Khan chosen as theme song
replays itself reminding me,
I never did nor ever will belong
to human race, a punishment
accompanied by other outliers among
the forbidding and desolate tract.

courtesy evil ferocious wraithlike grimace

Acrimonious scurrilous words
flew out the mouth
of vicious nasty shortish brute
leaving yours truly
as a key witness dumbfounded.

Outrageous spluttering claims
of stolen parcels
plus ransacked jewelry
totaling to the tune
of countless Benjamins
(hundred dollar bills)
viciously lobbed at dear wife of mine
as iterated in a previously written poem.

Camera phone ****** forward
(analogous to pointing a gun)
the miscreant recorded images
of stunned spouse,
and vehicular license plate,
which automobile property of yours truly.

Though Will-o'-the-wisp
of hashtagged wicked witch
(at the most, she stands five feet tall
and weighs all
of one hundred pounds),
nevertheless said sylphlike
slender as a reed human specimen
exhibited threatening behavior
justifiably prompted me to call 911.

The police person came
and peppered us with questions,
though clear cut validity of false claim
against the missus
could not be substantiated
since no surveillance cameras installed.

Meanwhile we fear thy harridan neighbor,
who possesses sinister motives towards us,
and could surreptitiously vandalize
our (actually mine)
white 2020 Hyundai Elantra.

Such brazen impudent verbal brickbats
cast a spell of distress
and methinks Wiccan sorcery invoked,
I now speculate on the verity
and strong suspicion
utilization of the black arts,
and would not be surprised
if unnamed fellow tenant
exudes diabolical capability
to inflict harm or misfortune.

The webbed wide world
houses inexplicable
supernatural phenomena
perhaps linkedin to invocations
loosed from the lips of a livid virago
possibly disguised
as The Venerable Bede incarnate
or some vestal ******.

I count my blessings
to be in the good graces
(at least thus far)
of heretofore unnamed attractive,
yet malevolently unhinged
menacing mad as a hatter misfit,
(nothing but skin and bones)
whose predilection
towards poisonous
pronounced declarations
belies her aesthetically pleasing person.

If ever opportunity arises
why she wolf exhibits
demoniacal huntress role
evoking guise machination,
where pent up fury poised to strike
against my significant other,
I will bravely ask about baseless
flagrant kindled violation
jeopardizing ordinarily
peaceful easy feeling
toward lovely lady I married.