The following anecdote baste
upon overactive imagination of mine
in sync with being married
and monogamously living socially chaste
life as a scrupulous anchorite,
whose weather beaten corporeal flesh
plus sabotaged, riddled,
and tuckered psyche effaced
after becoming adequately stuffed,
this turkey (in the straw)

then flapped his trussed wings
(at the speed of sound)
if listening closely echoes refrains
from Amazing Grace,
(which words reflections of John Newton,
a slave trader
who nearly died in a shipwreck,
and who eventually became a minister.
after which he penned the famous words
of "Amazing Grace" for a sermon

for his 1773 New Year's service
at the Church of St. Peter and St. Paul)
unable to escape ill fate of mine
i.e. being analogous to cooked goose
subsequently found him interlaced
with various and sundry
other dead animals
fixed to be mounted
(courtesy a taxidermist) on a wall.

The holiday dates back
to November 1621,
when the newly arrived Pilgrims
and the Wampanoag Indians
gathered at Plymouth
for an autumn harvest feast,
an event regarded
as America's “first Thanksgiving.”

Ever since then throve,
a commercialization, commodification,
commination and communication war,
where many a big box department store
(large-scale buildings
of more than 50,000 square feet,
the store is usually plainly designed
and often resembles a large box
for example Walmart, Home Depot,

Tesco, and Ikea are examples
of big-box retailers,
but never forget warehouse clubs
such as Costco and BJ's
considered the original kind
of big-box retailers nevermore
to witness mom and pop businesses
(small business entities
that thrive independently and spurred

pick/pull yourself up
by bootstraps guild den age,
or family-owned) *******
bricks and mortar outfits
prominent during pre industrial
high societies, when love's labour's lost
venerated, serenaded, and promenaded
like The School of Scandal of trysts,
buzzfeeding the literati
with tantalizing amour.

1935 - ~ May 4th, 2005
(untimely death sentence ordained ~ early February 1935)

I trot out a poem acknowledging birthday
of dear ole mom, who succumbed,
lost lease on life
nearly two decades ago,
who frequently asked me,
but never received acknowledgement
during her livingsocial years did abjure
(as the sole son)
communicating HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Test teasing prophylactics embarrassing
purchase never made at local drugstore
unsurprisingly, obviously, invariably...
birth control taboo subject, best to ignore
subsequently ******* awkwardly coordinated,
consummated, completed extempore
courtesy the mythic sheet with a hole
through which prudish  
maternal grandparents supposedly copulated
hence bun in the oven bon jure

yielded unicellular spore
while in utero ~ early/mid
February I ain't exactly sure
nineteen hundred thirty five - dirt poor
Harriet Harris, fourth, last born
(interesting enough shared same birthdate
with eldest sister twelve years her senior)
fetched vicinity Coney Island offshore
by stork, became favorite progeny begat
courtesy Morris, and then swore
celibacy forever more

Rebeckah Kuritsky heretofore
harbored inchoate genetic fore
boded, encoded, inscribed
deadly mutations housed,
fetched, dispatched and bore
flawed BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes sketched
affecting circumscribing her allotted mortality
orbitz equaling about six months shy
of three and a half score
unknowingly, unsuspectingly, unwittingly,
her biologic fatal demise indelibly etched.

Breast cancer first brush
sounded death knell
Harriet approximately clocked fifty plus
orbitz around the sun,
she underwent grueling radiation
plus chemotherapy
carcinoma eradicated allowed,
enabled, provided breathing spell
reprieve accentuated, galvanized, punctuated...

newfound zealous zest almost
nothing could quell
significance pray tell
new lease on life to sell
lib berate cherish, relish, whish
each precious moment
thwarting pell mell
adversity with bon vivant elan
and gusto to issue rebel yell

kickstarting, making breast
livingsocial aye bell,
especially after despite... er... well
her double mastectomy,
she looked fabulously swell
courtesy silicon implants
slight downside reconstituted
racked ***** *****
susceptible to ooze gel.

Many years post remission telltale
diagnosis, viz ovarian,
despite requisite hysterectomy
emotionally did impale,
she instinctually, intuitively,
invariably, yet quiver and quail

against impending demise 24/7 did assail
guardian angel(s) of no avail,
nor did yours truly proffer nurturance
resentment smoldering within this male
red hot poker anger lambasting me
peppered with ultimatums to vamoose,

never got resolved ensuing estrangement
deterred reaching out to embrace,
hearing raspy fading breaths exhale,
miserably tethered with tubes
when she did severely pine ail

and grievously bewail
corporeal essence ashen pale
awkwardly, helplessly, stupidly... I stood
formidable grim reaper foe whisked mother
to Elysian fielded dale.

Quite an undertaking
to break ground
figuratively, and symbolically linkedin
while able bodied and mindedness
readies cemetery plot within Elysian Fields
although honestly, and truthfully
as an ***** donor,
yours truly opts for cremation
once I, the corporeal constituent essence
that constitutes breadth,
height, length, et cetera
of one garden variety generic guy,
whose introspective consciousness
once exits these lovely bones
subsequently shucks off his ethereal soul.

Probable cause of death
and reasonable rhyme
how he died with his boots on?

Accidental overdose spelt demise of Vitamin ******
with over the counter supplements he did monkey.

Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies
Biotin 10,000 mcg
Brain Support Gummies
Super B Complex with Vitamin C
Calcium 1200 MG plus Vitamin D3
Chewable Vitamin C dietary supplement
Daily De-Stress
Vitamin E 400 IU (180 mg)
Echinacea 400 mg
Fiber Gummies
Flaxseed Oil with OMEGA-3 1300 mg
Garlic 400 mg
Ginger Root 550 mg
Ginkgo Biloba 120 mg
Hair, Skin & Nails Gummies
Prebiotic Immune Support 750 mg
with Vitamin D 30 mcg 1200 IU
with Zinc 8.3 mg
Psyllium Husk
Selenium 200 mcg
Turmeric 500 mg
Vitamin A 2400 mcg

Alphabetized list of above
stockpiled synthesized materials
purchased at CVS and Walgreens
courtesy Nations Benefits
and/or United HealthCare flex card
allow, enable, and provide
careful discriminate experimentation
on self - selected as guinea pig
more tolerable versus when being a little boy
and bullied by ruthless nasty
and shortish brutes as scapegoat
of course discriminately
taking a subset of iterated
prescribed macronutrients
each including following specified dose.

A healthy corpse
when the grim reaper calls,
I will gladly bid adieu
bon voyage into the netherworld
and good riddance
to him (a good for nothing)
randy sandy donning tan hat man
Squirreling acorn née joke
hinting courtesy humorous literary arabesques
absent minded handy dandy blue's clue
imploring accomplice Jimmy Neutron,
who willingly frankly (iggy lee)
casually opened, popped, and zapped
license to **** himself softly
while listening to Pathetique adagio cantabile
by Ludwig Van Beethoven
courtesy over the counter supplements,
the Food and Drug Administration doth not eschew.

Mastermind of the universe, I
a skeptic (with flat thinning hair,
yet shrinking paunch)
regarding divine creationism,
nevertheless accepts mortality
as stepping stone
into nothingness that follows,
repurposing random arrangement
of atoms and molecules
that configured one
contemplative, intuitive, operative
and restive **** sapien
(essentially composed of stardust)
reincarnated into another form of matter.

After crafting especially
individualized invitations
répondez s'il vous plaît
as the spirit moves thee.

Sent my smooching life south,
whereby I felt like poor Georgie Porgie,
pudding and pie,
who kissed the girls and made them cry.

The medical term for cold sores,
****** Labialis, refers
to the ****** virus Type 1 (HSV-1)
that most often causes these sores,
though ****** virus Type 2 (HSV-2)
less often can also be a cause.

Courtesy chafing lower denture
the inside lower lip of mine
(analogous when braces
donned by pearly whites -
long since ravaged
and removed by Periodontitis;
A serious gum infection
that damaged gums
and can destroy the jawbone)
rubbed raw firing, kickstarting,
and triggering throbbing ache
before going to sleep,
whether for a siesta
or bidding adieu
to the webbed wide world until the morrow,
and upon soon after I wake
attempting, daring, and farcing
to crack a smile
experience needling pain for doggone sake.

Yours truly most seriously,
affected with oral blight
when rumblies in tummy
signal appeasement of appetite
teasing viands with pronounced delight
impossible mission to masticate,
thus I reconcile myself experiencing pain
when chomping on solid foods,
whereby the bilabial fricative
actuated courtesy chewing motion,
(especially movement of lower jaw)
doth indelibly etch and sketch copyright
infringement onto soft tissue
aggravating, grooving, and torturing
satisfactorily done by the mandible
constituting lower jaw or jawbone
regarding the bottom skeleton
that makes up the lower
(and typically also the more mobile)
half of the mouth in jawed vertebrates.

While at C(ustomer) V(alued) S(ervice)
store at 1206 Gravel Pike, Zieglerville,
Pennsylvania 19492 - on a whim,
I purchased Peroxide Sore Mouth Cleaner
an over the counter product
and painless solution
to alleviate and heal
ulcerated, and lacerated fever blister
inside lower lip of this mister
re: man, whose spouse considers me weird
and peculiarly wired

as most likely would deux daughters I sired,
though both free and clear
despite their former impressionable years
being severely mired
with unnecessary financial hardship
whose lack of healthy
gainful employment track record
(essentially... I got fired)
linkedin to mental health issues,
thus no surprise when
the writer of these words desired

exiting realm of living social
(think passive suicidal ideation),
particularly manifest destiny
to join the underground movement
of the dead souls, when fraudsters
exerted remote mind control
managed to apply psychological ploy
leaving an immense black hole
sun leaving sense and sensibility extinct,
whereat I found myself in good company
with the Baltimore Oriole
along the Eastern United States.

The posted gofundme page...
oh that came to naught,
thus I live hand to mouth
still holding out hope
some anonymous benefactor
would vicariously writhe nsync
with mein kampf.

Poetic license I employ
to match inventive
wisdom and witticism
regarding (brother in law of mine
husband of eldest sister of same)
interspersing, initiating, incorporating
fabrication whenever possible,
and only the subject himself
can discern fact from fiction
and get a chuckle.

Re: noun polymath
and longtime resident
of Woodbury, New Jersey
story of his life
constitutes real cinéma vérité
depicting veteran jack of all trades,
and adept Morris dancer to boot,
whereby ankles donned with bells
while whistles fell from the house of usher
crowded house Aesop Poe's  

his rubbery shapely legs
bending vaguely resembling an oxbow
amazingly gracefully they meander,
when sharing an anecdote
then listener amply electrified
attired courtesy with rapt attention
donning brooks brothers
complimentary wardrobe
courtesy Durand thrift store,
and/or popular Goodwill

(though prices noticeably
steeper at the latter),
where he donates
and buys tools, tchotchkes,
gizmos, gadgets, clothes, and books
tests intricacy, viability of instruments,
lounges, couches and countenances
against being Lazy Boy,
nevertheless irresistibly shifting into supineness
around cozy davenports,

and to ease sofa ring takes doze
on comfortable recliner,
while engrossed reading
suddenly striking sitting inquisitive posture
(pedic) as revolutionary
humanoid lifelike mannequin
free advertising to expose
how Chat Generative
Pre-trained Transformer

(a large language model-based chatbot
developed by OpenAI
and launched on November 30, 2022,
which enables users to refine
and steer a conversation towards
a desired length, format, style,
level of detail, and language -
oh... and for your information
Monty the Python wrote these words)
suddenly artificial intelligence frozen

out and rendered obsolete
**** sapiens thinking prowess
as well as relevance of human species
grows undermined, overshadowed, enslaved,
et cetera, where twenty first
sentient beings of civilization
reduced to beasts of burden
scattered to all four winds
analogous to rolling stones
simians scraping the earth

using fingers as hoes
eventually survival of the fittest
evolution did impose
steely phalanges (the bones
that make up the toes
of the hand and the fingers
of the foot - ha) on common joe's
biden their time scaling Kilimanjaro's
three volcanic cones:
Kibo, Mawenzi, and Shira

keenly synchronized
trained scientific seismographs
linkedin with their sensory perceptions
helped maintain honed vigilance
former killer foo fighting goo goo dolls
rendered physiques tight as longbows
(actually stunt doubles
weathering bubbling lava mudflows)
amazing special effects witnessed
each spectacular rivaling, towering inferno

metamorphosing into jolly green
(rather orange) giant blob with green thumb
clowning around with FAKE bulbous nose,
indiscriminately spewing forth
liquid bedrock that quickly overthrows
entire bygone webbed wide world
swallowing prized archaeologically
ancient Egyptian and classic Roman civilizations,
where Nero played a mean fiddle
liquidating treasured chests of pharaohs

heaving, melting, repurposing sphinx
in accordance with pyramid scheme
Ponzi scam would long since crumble
and degenerate like house of cards
attesting to fraudulent
***** deeds done dirt cheap
composition and never hold a match against
pure clean fracturing conchoidal quartzose,
one divine comedy troupe rose
above the global liquefaction

affected climate change,
whereat the sheltering sky
offered no escape nor protection
against preternatural edge of night
as dark shadows
encapsulated outer limits
of the twilight zone
quickly extinguishing existence
of **** sapiens planet earth reconstituted
and seeds of life and white lily
omnipotent creator did transpose.

Act chilly
and bass sic hilly
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
completing number seventy five
orbitz, and after ye dip and dive
for another quarter century
(of course still attending
Cherry Hill Unitarian Church)
ye will be fêted oldest member
and maybe the oldest one alive.

discombobulated, harried, and lobotomized
state of body, mind, and spirit triage.

Onset of dark shadows signalling edge of night
occurs earlier as the world turns  
beckoning, hinting, robbing passage
regarding days of our lives,
where the young and the restless,
plus the bold and the beautiful
exhibit variations on a theme
titled one life to live.

Within my figurative neck of woods
boughs bend forming roods,
where all across the United States
except Arizona and Hawaii
troubadoors festooned nsync
with generational matriarchs
wearing hoods remaining incognito
as identity guard of their broods
mare uncannily decked, and
tricked out as an old man,
usually in a white robe,
having a white beard,
and carrying a scythe
signify turning the clock one hour
at 2:00 AM eastern standard time,
hence birthing following
reasonable ridiculous rhyme.

Hour hands clock get set back
sixty minutes of Autumn
round about this same of month
every year, what a ***
er, and inconvenient truth
diverged from this chum
purposelessly manipulating a hold over,
sans yesteryear doth drum
a sensation of jet lag
(with earth in the balance)
as if watching Monty Python's flying circus
within time machine
at warp speed from
this station, where bumpy ride
invariably finds me
feeling a bit ticked off and glum
and in no mood to rhyme,
nor be leer re: cull
juiced barely tantamount
to gather scattered wits
sin tide, and express mood as *** hum

fortunate, this chronological seismic shift
nada wide, ah assume,
nevertheless mein kampf
cerebral hemispheric plate tectonics
comb pluck hated off jangling
black keys helplessly boom
fancifully drifting and boring into
quick ribald sand trap doom
ming an inducement
for emergency convoy, when pitched from

sea to figurative shining seven sea –
gram ma mother earth glum,
where live yik yak
viewed thru Tik Tok wired vanguard
trulia tried optimism to hum
nevertheless, swallowed (Old Rotten Gotham)
sliding down into behavioral sink
analogous to cremated ashes of late mother
once boxed, but long since scattered into eternity
like talcum powder went – me mum

bling bloviation, once worth
matchless peerage, now pitched numb
lee into morass of temporary confusion,
where existence not peachy keen plumb
line delineating circadian rhythm offset,
when athwart Jane Pilots' ***
man strait ting and bickering
with Lilliputians slum
bring within islets of langerhans
defiantly, haughtily and laughably thumb

ming nose, where
body, mind & soul Weeknd
viz a bully did cower,
hence (principal at Methacton
Junior High School) Mister Clock,
who got hijacked
3600 seconds per hour
experienced head, thorax
and abdomen diminishing in power
wrought indistinguishable
Whitsuntide as sour
grapes of wrath
imposing ill fitting sea legs,
which folded like a faulty tower
crumbling skeletal carapace,
resoundingly surrendered,
and back slid vis a vis
space/time continuum did devour.

Black hole event horizon indeed kept
bottled up cosmic genie good Lord
and Taylor (swift) lock step
as das joint mill on the floss hoard
sucker punched the band
Reo SpeedWagon of father time,
whose riffs a silent chord
nsync with atomic fractional second bored
quirky shenanigans toying with chronometers
counter point of view shifted
to oppose this minute accord.

Forlorn; bereft of golden
(slippered) opportunities I weep;
Three score and four years
replete with mailer daemons,
hence mindset adrip
with self denouncing expletive filled bleep
unwritten expressed recriminations
wielded upon figurative head of wimpy blip;
decades elapsed at light speed clip
as the world turned days of mein kampf

exhibited slow psychologically
torturous analogous intravenous slow drip
during emerging adulthood
approximately half life of mine,
when yours truly painstakingly
besotted with unrequited love
accursed extreme introvertedness
severely hobbled coping ability
gifted at birth with congenital weakness
mama's boy lacked ways and means
integrating himself among peers,

no supportive services to equip
shy lonely lad devoid of fellowship
palmar hyperhidrosis affected slippery grip
in tandem with being diminutive
aiming to experience childhood's end forever
son of a gun flailed with dating later in life
compromising, forsaking, and issuing
counter productively undermining
potential heterosexual relationships
invariably shooting from the hip.

Eight different prescription medications
allow umpteen combinations to yield
against bombardment that fate doth wield
delivered, signed and sealed
courtesy the grim reaper
able, eager, ready and willing
to maneuver across pitted minefield
accessing exiled soul whisking same
to idyllic place named Edenfield.

Oftimes methinks how cessation to breathe
spirit buoyed aloft, where garlands wreath
to escape hell on Earth,
where neurosis and psychosis seethe
within mine sixty plus shades of gray matter
symbiotically flourishing at expense of sanity
case in point being:
anxiety/ panic attacks
obsessive compulsive behavior,
schizoid personality disorder,

long in the tooth fellow
his sustenance similar to pablum
constituting imperial diet of worms
of the Holy Roman Empire -
called by Emperor Charles V
fit for grown baby,
especially when removing dentures
cuz he must resort to eat soft foods
unless by some miracle I teethe
for the second time.

Homegrown destructive force
muscles, tussles, wrestles,
et cetera within me
likened to (but separate from) Intifada,
(thus no insinuation this wordsmith
linkedin to any militant group)
grips mine soul asylum,
a recalcitrant doppelganger
within windmills of my mind
doth insidiously, poisonously,
and unpleasantly drum
palpably affecting writer
of these words to feel glum.

No respite whether I repose
in deep slumber or lightly awake
inescapable melancholic woes
haunts these lonely bones,
whereby system of the down
houses reticent persona constituent feature
characterized courtesy anhedonia
linkedin with passive suicidal ideation
accentuated when severe crisis erupt
analogous to smoldering volcano.

Fortunate for me the missus keenly aware
plus (despite every now and again
contention between us),
she makes crystal clear
communicating her displeasure
mixed with genuine fear
bantering deadpanning facetiously
gallows humor I half heartedly asseverate
gibberish spouting jargoneer
gravely alarms wife helpless to orienteer

conversation away from my demise,
thus figuratively switch horses
in mid stream and jockey
to calm her down
and lightening verbal exchange
by ******* from the waist down
revealing laughing stock of skinny legs
(easily mistaken for spindleshanks)
poking thru underwear
charging on imaginary steed

feigning being loco
despite NOT smoking ****,
energetic cavorting courtesy
nursing high test coffee,
nevertheless ineffective battling fatigue
despite flitting to and fro,
hither and yon bumbling along
(skeletal) joints of mine smoking hot
suddenly after sipping strong brew,
I temporarily shuck off lethargy

long enough break to out dancing
while simultaneously overtaken
to sing a song of sixpence
while wings flutter at the speed of sound
buzzfeed appetite for consumption
Ecclesiastical History of the English People,
one of our best-written sources
for early English history
authored by Venerable Bede.