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thank you very much
for letting me clutch
your attention courtesy
sharing following thoughts
thru reading my poem analogous
to invisible electronic,
fantastic, kinetic... touch.

Manners work like a charm
equivalent to abracadabra to disarm
truculent nasty shortish brutes
who thrive causing harm.

Being well mannered
worthwhile to employ,
(whether Semite or goy)
if feeling surly
can supplant mood with joy,
the perfect spock
(to kindle camaraderie)
just ask Leonard Nimoy
milk of human kindness
if lactose intolerant

(such as yours truly) substitute soy
popular among gentile folk,
whose genetic pigmentation
low on melanin
hence snooty learned logophile
introduces the word Xanthochroi
for other linguaphiles
out there voyaging in cyberspace,
whose mindfulness clamors for etiquette
which nowadays encompasses

the webbed wide world,
where online netiquette
practiced by ne'er do wells, who bet
their bottom dollar
courtesy sinister motives fuel zest,
where he/she, they/them can wrest
every red cent
from an unsuspecting victim
seducing yours truly
for instance highly stressed

to the max exhausting,
marauding, and yanking nest
egg, now one wordsmith
at large hard-pressed,
which misfortune of mine addressed
in previous poems,
whereby I mentioned
desperate plight, hence
gofundme page titled
implacable ill fate battered wealth

bombed checking and savings accounts
with professional ruse and stealth
robbed me at ATM point,
whereat varmint found
compliant and obedient participant
able, eager, ready and willing
to buy the Brooklyn Bridge
which got "sold" a staggering
4,160 different times
between 1883 and 1928.

Haint no more gullible traveler
reduced to a lilliputian
than he who didst write
this poem and claimant
professing money suddenly tight
got myself in quite
a pickle, which penniless agony
grips me most violently at night
when stowed away
in my rook re: a forlorn knight

whose psyche took a tumble
from immense height
knocking me senseless
and cents less readily
admitting 20/20 hindsight,
a spectacle framed as laughingstock
courtesy ignoble trumpeting derelict
swaggering with bravado
trouncing former
savvy wise guise

i.e. mine acutely aware
regarding the ways
of pervasive wickedness
proliferating across
webbed wide world
sixty plus shades of gray matter
painfully pinched, where "gotcha"
forever chiseled, emblazoned, inked,
lodged, notched, stitched, tattooed...
within the windmills of my mind.
two alternate titles:
1. Gander seeking goose that laid the golden egg
2. Incorrigible lottery dreamer
linkedin with previous poem I wrote
though modesty deters
crafty, lofty, nifty, thrifty... wordsmith
and Perkiomen Valley poet
i.e. yours truly quietly to gloat.

If lady luck smiles on me denote
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon arrival of my steamer
rather Ferry large boat.

A fool's errand finds me
emptying out billfold,
especially as the winnings
increase ...fivefold, sixfold,
sevenfold, eightfold, ninefold, tenfold...
ample resources to remould
living nonestablishmentarian existence
surrounded courtesy webbed, wide wold.

Paradise visage and eyes
a bulge with dollar signs
whets imagination with
Mega Millions ticket bought
for potential wealth
overtakes rational self
with delusions of grandeur caught
allow, enable and provide flirtation
with fate to experience rich draught
envision emancipation proclamation
from penury a distant battle fought

expect the usual outcome
after next drawing
to yield monetary naught
temptation for instant
mega millions eagerly sought
human foible to reach
until life lesson taut
for elusive *** of riches
streak of universal desire
and tacked clear of shoals,
where hard scrapple existence wrought.

This poor man's pipe dream
nsync with the milkmaid and her pail
where fanciful notions pluck me out
being day late and dollar short
essentially pennilessness in the extreme
story of mein kampf fortune teller
also known as Zoltar speaks machine
said contraption did foredeem
substantiated, kickstarted, corroborated...
courtesy an archenemy Joaquim
(fiend nixed) and his tall sidekick Kareem
both rogues could shine
figuratively impregnable longerbeam
and discern mine ill fate.

Meanwhile creative endeavors
and linguistic pleasure
thru the literary attempt
suitably with poetic third eye blind
palliative, yet less rewarding versus
garnering large sum of money
would be a dog send
allowing, enabling, and providing
arrogant stance where proletariats deigned
delivered by one blessed angel in disguise
redemption and salvation
considered thankful find
with challenges or commiserate

courtesy  poverty that doth grind
and complement via words of positive kind
feeble attempt where words synchronize
readers may espy hidden puns
(and divine inspiration - ha)
within this rhyme lined
to pry poem or prose from mind
deliberate semblance to communicate
and extract idea from cranial rind
analogous how stitcher doth tightly wind
a tapestry of rich and royal hue
while twittering and tweeting
“better luck next time.”
About four plus weeks after
frazzling fiasco from friggin fraudsters
white knight still mourns swindled money
Lynne Costello Senior Civil Investigator
(assistant to Philadelphia attorney general)
unable to recoup forfeited funds.

While holed up in castle keep,
(albeit fetchodit fuming father
cursing out blimey scamming creep),
I replay nightmarish scenario
that disallows me to sleep
inconsolable tears yours truly doth weep.

Though secular humanist,
nevertheless yours truly (me)
beseeches a higher power
something in the order of

voltages ranging from
115,000 to 230,000 VAC
Voltage Alternating Current
or Extra-High voltages ranging
from 345,000 to 765,000 VAC.

Courtesy malefactor left me bereft
cyber criminal shrewdly,
meticulously, hucksterish antagonistic
online criminal with deft
once again revisiting series of theft
designed warp and weft
traitor to the cause of honesty
wove webbed, whirled wide net
pounced (visualize yourself analogous
recipient of lionize) de León.

I implicate myself aside from bogeyman
being submissive at financial havoc
fake Macbook Pro wizard
posturing as legitimate
Apple computer technician did wreak
more than laptop malfunction, he did tweak.

Any number of "red flags"
clear as day in retrospect
stand out like a sore thumb
with self reproach
and attendant emasculation
"how could I be so dumb,"
not ready to concede desperation
to scrounge around
for every little monetary crumb
when "Que Sera, Sera
(Whatever Will Be, Will Be)."

Resultant severe emotional grip
courtesy financial fallout
fantasy thought arise
regarding being cursed with
purchasing winning Mega-million
and powerball ticket,
hence the following fantasy.

Lucky lottery winner
…and the super powerball
and mega millions jackpot winner is…
from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

No way.

This must be some off-season
April fool and/or Halloween trick or treat.

Yea right.

In my dreams.

A voice inside urges
“take another look.”

Yet upon frenziedly staring
(for what seems like an eternity)
at the matching numbers
(per tickets for both
record breaking sweepstakes)
no denying that every numeral
exactly the same as those randomly drawn.

I don’t know whether to cry or scream.

But, if held at pen point and forced
to splutter out how such winnings
would be managed (from mine mouth
to God's ears) such fantasy will be elaborated
within literary exercise
(just for the purposes of this writing contest),
I now let finger flit to and fro,
hither and yon across qwerty keyboard.

Though a pauper, no ambition
could goad me to live like a king.

The immediate step would be
to seek professional top-notch guidance
from a sterling gold reputable investment banker.

He or she to be a staunch advocate
of wise management
sans such substantial windfall.

Consent to be given for a chunk
to be divested into high yield
money market funds with a modicum of risk.

Other dollops off currency denouement
elected to be doled into
on demand personal funding accounts.

A suitable proportion thence hedged
toward monies for thee spouse and
two darling daughters.

Said wife would be awarded ample chunk
to meet her present
and future financial needs and/or wants.

Since she tends to be tempted
to spend any cash on her purse (son)
plus pose (on bended knee) plaintive pleas
for this husband to drain his meager resources,
a ceiling limit incorporated
within said deposited arrangement.

Each progeny (both charming young women)
established with academic, catastrophic, exotic…
healthy portfolios.

Upon reaching age of twenty-one
release of full access to aforementioned bonds,
dormant fiduciary interest bearing,
known, noteworthy
Yankee Doodle dandy legal tender.

Even though total claim to do as they wish
with apportioned denominational millions.

A caveat will include disallowing banal,
flagrantly haphazardly spent (even though
exercising a spending spree not illegal),
the contractual obligation affixing
each offspring will witness the forfeiture
from fathers’ instantaneous famed fortune.

Self imposed restrictions viz electronic mechanisms
(probably at least one computer software application
(probably dashed off by kindergartner during recess)
will bar this fanciful papa
to blithely act frivolously,
yet a predetermined
monthly allotment made accessible.

No spending spree will occur sans yours truly
until bulwark of allocation, dedication, gratification…
securely settled analogous
to digital electronic gatekeepers,
which strategy (affording truckload of dollars
to appease capitalistic cravings)
still replete with common cents paid out
to select charities and non-profit organizations.

These agencies to focus on animal welfare
of genus and species besides **** sapiens,
eco-friendly.

Environmental utilities, educationally
non-discriminatory colleges/universities,
and other copasetic, democratic, ecologic,
holistic, non-partisan opportunistic
politically welcome think tanks.
In light of tension twixt
brinkmanship rumbling one
East Asian Tiger
country otherwise known as
"the land of morning calm,"
yours truly t'will invite
"freedom foo fighters"
tubby regaling with a jubilant aire
total mortal Kombat
levels threat of human warhead
bomb dubbed "Fat Boy.”

I barely get ma palm pilot sized
dear derriere i.e.
gluteus maximus in the air
just a cat whisker
across the DeMilitarized Zone
(DMZ in military parlance),
when the Earth shuddered from blare
ring fusillade expressed detonation
issued by Kim Jong Un,
whose craven dark excitement clear;
no match for one man
bow welled bombardier

propelled ****** bowel
movement game changer
will hit designated target precisely clear
and North Koreans (no matter
mostly innocent victims),
howling and whelping doggone dear
for quasi legerdemain
identifying, fraternizing, colluding,
et cetera with the enemy (in general,
the NATO bound countries) 'ere
really quiet, as preparation (H) gets made
to bring out the big guns

(actually shaped like a fleshy
posterior man knuckled ***) in truth one
dead reckoning sphincter muscle
that doth flex with fantastic flair
impossible mission to espy, cuz sieve
all the flak whistling
induce sing a glare,
but...the Hermit Kingdom got another
bad a$$ bombardier to fear
deathly, stealthily quiet,
hence released **** Jed

motive predicated to lob
early Holiday nuclear missiles,
me cheeks with
blasting buttocks akin to
young Frankenstein blazing saddles
as sole portal oozing gaseous
noxious flatulence - majority
of North Koreans will not hear
amidst din and clangor "bad medicine"
smiting nemesis courtesy blaze of glory
eye ordnance impossible to hear,

I strongly advise tubby not near
as you might already correctly guess,
when while mooning Pyongyang
well taut smart cheeks,
blindsided immune to any prayer
so...upon confiding this tidbit,
yet will need to seek out specialty
of proctologist who doth rear
lee **** seed unfortunate victim,
yet this silent deadly *** sass sin hated
hard as a ribbed rock stainless steel

guaranteed to wreak havoc, with loathing
what information divulged
ye moost promise never to share
else...any (red) turn coats
can not muster posterior haste,
and other emotions hints sin sere
which top secret (never bottomed out
during test practice trials,
whereat Johnny spot on)
proved to vaporize underwear
and caused a "big stink"

that lasted about one year,
whose po' country mutilated,
reduced, wasted to ashes after
every nuclear and
traditional military contrivance,
an IC and BM (mine) did destroy.
Otherwise titled:
Mien wonderful wedded divine wife....,

whose piercing deliverance,
a balm ameliorating tattooed strife
despite being dirt poor,
(especially after ***** deeds done...
generating thunderstruck ac/dc current
hmm... maybe due comeuppance
being scammed to the hilt)
suspicion toward comportment of people rife
with deliberate intent to jackknife
cumulative net worth,
and now yours truly

evinces trust nobody motto
(dialogue we hear coming
from the pursed lips
of X files Special Agent Mulder)
******* me every step of the way
I cherish her pricelessness, how nice,
a beacon complementing/
supplementing homelife,
who will forever be with me
even during our (mine
atheistic couched) afterlife.

She, the mother
of our deux darling daughters, I adore
though ofttimes, she never knows...
expressing love tis quite an arduous chore
concerning me upon this
(we quietly celebrate
bledded wiss encompassing
trials and tribulations we didst explore
courtesy (for instance) my parents
time sharing vacation getaways galore
poem honoring pledged troth
missus doth implore
concerning wedding anniversary
two days hence, whoa...

our shared journey bobbing
at times eventfully, fitfully,
gingerly along knorr
never without unbridled adventure,
how quickly time doth pass, cuz we wed
yes already number xxvii, i.e. twenty seven)
orbitz around the sun, we reminisce...
revisiting how each the rock
of gibraltar for the other more
so much emotional turbulence
witnessed by our progeny,
a tragic indelibly recorded overture

nearly rent asunder by mighty quinotaur,
I accept culpability (yours truly)
strayed against sacred covenant
went wayward intrepid misdeeds
repented of secular married man
known in Biblical realm
carnal sin for sure
without shadow of doubt
triggered emotional uproar
and nearly led to marital war
we now joke about mine
philandering days of yore.

Infidelity nearly perilously upended marriage,
said vaguely worded insensate blunder
wrought catastrophic upheaval
reigned analogous how millenniums ago
Vandals, Huns, Goths,
et cetera did plunder
and ransack the
outer limits of Roman empire
our pledged troth shattered,
whereby the missus outclassed Zeus,
she emitted deafening thunder,
yet annulment nor divorce,
she would not grant
sigh of great relief
and mystery I wonder...

To this upcoming July twenty fifth
when all troubles
of this beatle browed,
foo fighter, nirvana seeking...
seemed so far away
how hands of father time
speedily lept away
an (extra) ordinary day
to be alive and appreciate sticktoitiveness
toward her, whose troth I pledged

courtesy thee (sacrilegious infidel)
mine discreet liaisons spouse forgave
NOT telling me hike along highway
and/or boulevard
of broken dreams, motorway
avoided, cuz she thee missus
WANTED me to stay
in role of legally wedded husband
(and father to deux special grown lasses)
when they (progeny)...
were just newborn babes yesterday.
Try as thee most persuasive person might,
he/him, she/her,
they, them... can never wean
yours truly always objected
being told when to bathe/shower
particularly when puberty
found yours truly a tween
and my mother (deceased eighteen
plus years - sess her bowl),
she exerted authority

and told her "take a bath,
or no supper"
analogous to a queen,
strict disciplinarian to boot
who wedded her king
(my late father) at age nineteen
the latter (day saint) quite keen
nevertheless both experienced
love towards each other
and tricked out their progeny

(myself included) with halloween
getup, I vaguely recall Amelie Beth
(their eldest daughter -
older sister of mine)
donned as an angel
lighting up night sky, an empyrean
permanent heavenly fixture
popular through Byzantine
epoch, which blinded
her brother (me),
cuz yours truly, the devil in disguise.

Here I sit scores of decades
now edging closer to the edge of night,
and approaching those twilight years
remembering protesting vehemently
(way past the bewitching hour)
not wanting to wash myself
in the tub (water frigid cold), I write
how mother dearest,
whose presence I wanted to smite

this puny progeny
grappling as a neophyte
whose Lilliputian stature
(when a prepubescent)
a over five feet in height
who when constantly
teased courtesy bullies
ran back to ma mommy
whose son totally affright.
If employed in social services field, why
the above might justifiably
smack of insubordination
hashtagging me as Pigpen thereby
wharf fare prompting me
to cleanse myself diving off a Quai
in an effort for Peanuts gallery
to accept yours truly well nigh
but unfortunately
getting mistakenly captured
as a prisoner of war

forced by Japanese to construct
two parallel bridges spanning
the river Kwai
as part of Burma Railway,
also called the Death Railway,
for the many lives
lost in its construction,
but my daring do,
(and boyish good looks)
found yours truly
whisked away to the island of Hawaii,

where hula dancers  
choreographed, entranced, and finessed
their seductive routines
a native lass smitten courtesy
one wily word wizard
whose courage bucked up
after munching powder milk biscuits
taken as mistress
helped beget our daughter,
who became apple of mine eye.
Addends, minuend, subtrahends... all Greek
to poor student long haired pencil necked freak.

****** (internal) revenue stream
plus plugged egress
equals flood of woe
torturous suffocation
of biosphere quite slow
particularly concerning one
Norwegian bachelor farmer from Oslo
amidst the bajillions of people,
one common Joe
(cur) just biden his time

pleading to acquire
much needed dough,
attorney General assistant Lynne Costello
sought out to help yours truly
(to no avail)
hoof hound himself cloven
and rent asunder courtesy
ofttimes mentioned cyber outlaws
preying upon (long in the tooth) fellow
suddenly his entire body electric
being deceived synonymous

with the plot of Iago
in my version starring
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
as none other than Othello
punch drunk as Judy
falling down laughing,
roistering, yammering hysterically
and rolling with a ****** Rockafellow,
whose role as a convincing fall guy
convincingly contradicted himself
as an above board underfellow.

Yours truly voluntarily recruited himself,
cuz he haint been rather astute
therefore welcomes
a swift kick in the derrière
courtesy squared off steel tipped boot
knocking the living daylights
predicated on lovely bonehead moment
linkedin to poppycock that did compute
as sense and sensibility
even suspicious to a deaf-mute
leary toward one extortionist

pièce de résistance, he did execute
and pulled wool over my eyes
analogous to snake charmer
playing magic (Johnson) flute
transfixing yours truly
a dunderhead lunkhead punked galoot
who in hindset could not add up
fishy (worm I going)
oh yeah... virtually nabbed
courtesy cyber bandits,
who gane nary a hoot

prying skewed logistics I impute
to wanna hang myself
courtesy suitable length of jute
tied with Gordian knute
gofundme page welcomes pledging loot
to help me (if you can)
with desired great expectation moot,
hence these lovely bones
when cremated will be transformed
into fine powder
more inert than a newt.
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