Most favored renter status imposed on us
i.e. meaning myself;
(one tarnished prince of Highland Manor)
and the missus, his princess consort
who must abide by rigorous writ
of tidiness, whereby
every flat surface cleaned
(with our) elbow grease and spit
which weekly inspections
includes a triumvirate,
and when they enter unit b44,
yours truly feigns being a nitwit
paying obeisance to mindless regulations
ranked on par with happy horsesh*t.
In an effort to remain compliance
amidst these green acres
Rural Housing of
Southeastern Montgomery County,
Pennsylvania, the keystone state
one randomly chosen household
unbeknownst to he/him, she/her, they/them...,
which yoked, mandated, and foisted selection,
predicated on recipients;
(courtesy me nsync with frau majesty,
a germane, humble and intelligent jovial
kindred, lovely, mild mannered
natty, opinionated, personable,
quirky, rational, sporty tigress)
presenting outstanding well heeled
spur of the moment ad libbed burlesque.
We spent the better part
of our last seven salad days
dressing up as merry maids;
tidying up our web crawler space
sweeping debris off carpeted floors,
then running vacuum across same areas,
scrubbing the ceilings and walls
of fruit fly feces (say that five times fast),
taking frequent snack breaks
savoring our favorite
cinnamon bun with modest glaze
and for dessert
bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich
healthily lavished with mayonnaise.
Nevertheless, the storm troopers
might find reason
(without rhyme) to evict husband
with dry humor and his wife
(messiness interpreted as insubordination),
whose domestic predilections
yes verge toward universal disorder,
cuz chaos ranks as modus operandi
despite serious intent to impose
gameplan of neatness and tidiness.
I turn toward cosmic consciousness
for guidance and salvation
broadcast courtesy following electronic SOS.
Well...an average sized house
to rent would do the trick
re: lease older married couple
from oppressive scrutiny
Grosse & Quade evince bone to pique,
which low cost accommodations
to occupy one bedroom apartment
here in Schwenksville
checking account experiences marginal nick,
and reasonable rhyme aside -
which fanciful flirtation with words
does give me Hawaiian punch kick,
but anyway WE NEED/WANT
SAFE AND SECURE PLACE,
whose charisma, dogma, karma
and persona with landlord doth click
ideally indeed livingsocial
within complex edifice
strong as stone and/or
Rhodesian yellow brick.
As genuine appreciation...
I would do calisthenics
and analogous to Origami
backward and forward bend
quickly tearing clammy muscles,
now wonders on a star
if you might become sought after friend
this amiable fellow and counterpart -
a salvation goddess or godsend
to perform property caretaker tasks
cuz I possess aptitude, fortitude,
and magnitude of motivation,
plus these strong hands lend
for any mechanical appliances
that require attention to mend,
and of course provide necessary
requisite financial compensation
for other expenses to spend
so peace of body, mind and spirit
this clan of deux destine
property tasks dialed up
regarding coast of living zest can tend.
Additionally notion floated
across roiling cyber sea waves
if only some benevolent force
could bestow monetary aid
or mebbe a Good Samaritan
could wave a magic wand
making a NIKE whoosh sound
thru the air like a sharp blade
ah...than the path
to happiness twould be laid.