Watermelons, grapefruits, oranges...
lobbed at yours truly ruled out,
hence the missus dreamt up bright idea
to enfilade me courtesy pistachio shells.

Rather than just hurl one at a time,
(she who unwittingly helped inspire
contents of reasonable rhyme)
decided to throw handfuls
leguminous encasement
constituting cellulose and lignin,
creating woody appearance and texture.

Spouse trends toward being poor aim
nevertheless still manages to wreak havoc
upon mine body electric,
I once upon a time
doubting thomas peacemonger became
anarchist overnight whereat foo fighters claim
beastie boy wedded to culture club
divorce no longer sought
against devilish, girlish,

Jordache versus Levi Strauss
mulish, queerish fictitious dame
prone toward profanities to exclaim
waxes with wicked disposition
her charisma and persona sparkles
analogous to blinding flame
burning with passion
to play Gerald's game.

Said artificial intelligence I activate
courtesy mine overactive imagination,
she occasionally accidentally does berate
divine creator (me), yet more often than not
we feign shunning law and order
as faux vigilantes to celebrate

life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
allowing, enabling, and providing
opportunities to deviate
against nonestablishmentarian
dogma and ethos, I'm gonna estimate
as generally popular

counter culture paradigm
helping to beget, birth and facilitate
iconic nineteen ninety sixties
liberal transition to toleration
within parochial schema
did unwittingly generate
loosening quintessential

conventional racial and ****** precepts,
where obsolete doctrines staid to hibernate
sustaining repressive stereotypical mores
housing totalitarian, racist, bigoted
White Supremacist poisonous bile
doth fester and incubate.

Machinations of maniacs loose ill will
figuratively unhinged **** sapiens
destroy webbed fabric of civilization
domestic hate crimes on the rise
homegrown terrorism beget
vile killing rampages which proliferate
courtesy easy access to guns

triggering pandemic of violence
fueling undeclared warfare
putting innocent lives
within crosshairs
no time for victims to bid adieu
only option remaining for surviving
to mourn slain friends and family.

Grave situation rocks world
as ten commandments get unfurled,
whereby complacent grim reaper
with his signature scythe
within gnarled bony hands
he gamely twirled
since time immemorial,
and will be victor among many spoils

as tumultuous upheaval roils
courtesy reprobate who
brings death and destruction in their wake
giddy with delight at one or more
human lives he/she did take
causing, fomenting, instigating...
grievous sorrow to quake
perhaps killing someone with my namesake.

While scrolling over outdated docs
(i.e. namely OpenOffice documents)
derrière seated upon hard backed chair,
yours truly came upon following poem
to share with anonymous readers,
whereby slight modifications
got made to original file.

Until fairly recently,
(no less than a few years ago -
roughly about hundred fortnights ago),
each day lapsed with nothing
(absolute zero) outcome to show
for effort to find an amenable abode
wrought nothing boot
futility, hostility, irritability...
and increased internal disequilibrium
essentially psyche feeling wretchedly awry
me thought for long stretch encompassing
the search perhaps,

hoop fully there would arise salvation
exhibiting courtesy elation
entertaining, leavening, and sprinkling
with gush of happiness
otherwise ill luck inducing me to cry
for I thought for sure,
homeless shelter 'twould be  
our next place housing me
(and missus) against the darkened sky
said cursed fate would moost likely occur
before this generic garden variety
middle aged baby boomer would die.

Methought... only after demise (mine),
would soul alight upon cotton candy cloud
whit will *** churned out
by hum mad ginned mechanism of Eli
ja, an angelic ethereal invisible
masterful quintessential uber lyft app
par rush hen little chicken
shape shifting near transparent
savior donned in transparent radiant alb by
kept watch to ensure sands of time
didst last just long enough
to cease our plaintive lowing sound,
which bellow hide decry.

Akin to a lonesome
cooing, mourning dove
(trying to hawk – prey tell)
immeasurable justice sought well nigh
accessing divine providence,
kickstarting heavenly location
and scouting out twittering
worthy appropriate bird nest sanctuary,
where this long haired pencil neck geek guy
and his missus could breathe easy whereat hie
hoed hue man pang propinquity

for peace of body, mind and spirit to lie
in close quarters, thus my
brief zeptosecond hiatus from posting
prose and poetry today, cuz we did ply
along the one directional infrastructure
to exhale a deep sigh
upon being amazingly gracefully blessed
by fickle finger of fate, after many a try
analogous to seeking employment
or striving to beget offspring,
and I wonder why
such aggravation ensues.

After attaining applicable objective,
one bedroom apartment
(listed on Montgomery County
Pennsylvania low cost housing roster),
a sudden influx of subsequent
kumbaya praiseworthy similar opportunities
materialized, as though
cruel resistant hand of destiny
didst thrive ohm my dog
to send courtesy Volt Tim Mort
current amping thru me.

Just when we thought
oh no, not another rejection,
I could (would) not cope
methought the river of Jordan
ran bone dry with hope
thee manifest destiny
spurred yours truly
going pronto to Vatican to see Pope,
when at the end of our figurative rope,
(ready to gibbet, - viz hitting gallows
a chance – despite noose
sense, nor sensibility)
ah…at long last... lo and behold,
our streak of ill success,
we acquired an  affordable place

rooted, nestled, and huddled
along rolling pastoral intercepting *****
thru effort of applying
to many subsidized housing facilities,
a cessation never more to mope
(unless unfortunately, we get evicted)
this former one class room
per grade school house
long since repurposed
into Highland Manor
nestled in the bucolic greensward
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Postal Zone Improve Plan re: ZIP code 19473
came about just in the nick of time
when an unexpectedly pleasant call conveyed
via cheerful voice office manager,
(honest to dogness),
I  consider as a divine goddess,
whose positive source prime
news that my application –

set in the mail about a year ago –
(after date original reasonable rhyme written)
inched to the top tier after
a one bedroom apartment became available –
which reasonable cost hoop fully
doth not necessitate spending me last dime,
a prayer that longevity cane outlast
the previous senior citizen,
said former tenant opted
to reside at a nursing home.
*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *
Perhaps because of malfunctioning
duodenum and cerebellum
(just a hunch)
whatever does spur one
to analyze lyrics
Skidamarink a ****, a ****
Skidamarink a doo
I love you...
though to be perfectly tongue in cheek,
aye haint gotta handy dandy clue,
what lines after asterisk mean,
yet nevertheless suspect only *****
like me find themselves in arrears –
and nary a blue
blazing snowball chance in…hell low,
aye pray to dog
while rusty nine inch nails I eschew
that no ***** crisis of this body electric
deters me going to the loo

*** else yours truly *******
sir/ma'am…stumbling along
the boulevard of broken dreams,
maybe joining a motley crue,
or a posse sub bull contra band of thieves
to stay alive as haggardness grew
force to panhandle just enough loose change
to utter a wimpy yahoo
but…if in charitable and philanthropic mood….
well I hate to beg for you
to toss a coin so this rattletrap
can escape Bing caged in the human zoo.

(written last year
when out of this world
outlandish accouterments
people did wear
hermetically sealed
of even faintest tear
to avoid contamination
against coronavirus
when wing and prayer
soul saving amazing grace).

Pandemic straps tightly plied girded beltway
unlike any other All fools day
in annals of recorded ("fake") history
western civilization tapestry doth fray
April first two thousand and twenty one
neigh, no time for horseplay

what with coronavirus (COVID-19)
boarded ship of jilted fools
(think **** sapiens)
barred courtesy omnipotent jackstay
furloughed workers analogous
grumpy minions lay
dwarfed by unfortunate global events, née...

germinating, jackknifing, and wreaking havoc
Mother Earth nonchalantly toying
(indiscriminately) regarding humanity
as bestrewing bajillion biohazards berserkly
bequeathing bedlam child's play
just desserts, she doth understandably repay

man/womankind flicked as flotsam and jetsam
vile treatment diabolically heaped,
jubilantly loosed, maniacally pitched
upon her terrestrial firma oy vey
she chokes, gags, laughs raspily yea
rebuffs, refuses, and renounces further abuse.

Nevertheless toothless gumption, albeit feeble
fighting spirit, her survival instincts assail
cumulative environmental destruction
triggered casus belli expelling deadly toxins,
when Gaia doth exhale

since onset of global interregnum
(think virulent spreading poisonous Kudzu
like wildfire biohazard)
since world wide webbed disease
brought grinding halt

consumerist paradigm in lockdown,
nonetheless within brief interim
noticeable clearer air to inhale
amazingly enough postal system...
intact voila... uninterrupted delivery of mail,
the daily highlight experienced

among people emotionally crippled
pasty faced and pale
finds quivering Captain Kangaroo
plus good n plenti proud primates
each dancing and quivering
like a captive quail.

(Tidbit of trivia: associated with
businessman from Troy, New York,
Samuel Wilson, known affectionately
as “Uncle Sam” Wilson. The barrels
of beef that he supplied the army
during  War of 1812 were stamped
“U.S.” to indicate government property).

Today March 30th, 2021
$2800.00 stimulus check came in the mail
I intend to open joint account with the missus.

Citizens Bank
(formerly Commonwealth)
constitutes the financial repository,
where yours truly maintains
his savings and checking account.

Though aforementioned
amount of money merely pocket change,
I feel gratitude regarding said funds
issued courtesy Treasury Department,
which in tandem to
monthly direct deposit ($900.00)
social security allotment
helps keep me financially afloat
otherwise yours truly
will experience a one two knockout
overdraft paralyzing sucker punch.

Whereby white as a sheet ghostly color,
sans countenance of mine
impossible to differentiate between
Lenovo external screen background
myopia no deterrent as jaw slackened
upon Citizens Bank notification.

The following written circa recent past,
when bouts of monetary
adversity occurred quite often
current spate of ill health plagued me
with (relentless stomach virus)
triggered emotional state
Kamikaze nose dived
into forbidding deathwish
gastrointestinal Civil War

relentlessly raged kickstarting
linkedin body, mind, spirit
emergency necessitating transfer of funds,
and/ or anonymous philanthropic injection
to staunch, stave, and stay hemorrhaging,
whereby checking account

beyond restoration, sans life support
heroic measures sense (cents) less,
now, mine entire being
excruciating figurative explosion,
viz rapidly fired projectile
as if "FAKE" mandibles bit the bullet

self destruction declaration reactivated
casus belli (caused by ache'n belly)
just on cusp of recovery
succumbed to lowest record nadir
kindling, sparking, and whip sawing
plea for salvation or termination,

mine abysmal ad hoc existence
evincing illogic, quixotic, tragic...
charade, facade, masquerade, et cetera
accursed woe synonymous with Sisyphus
condemned to Hades exhausting
arduous, laborious, torturous... punishment

social security disability deposit
congenital schizoid personality disorder
attendant anxiety, obsessive/ compulsive
disorder, panic attacks tempered,
half dozen plus prescription medications
some categorized selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)
provide alleviation to psyche.

while rifling thru outdated electronic drafts

Circa 6/30/ 2017 - Lost missing master car key...
plus additional ordinary travails affecting me
such as near bankruptcy, eviction from glow
er emitting landlady per expiration of lease
(June thirtieth two thousand ‘lo
seventeen, infestation of cockroaches
(little ones that look kinda cute), poe

tent shul hazards viz malfunction
of electricity outlets in this kitchen slow
burn the psyche of this Bryn Mawr,
Pennsylvania tenant
renting all the while tiptoe
wing thru tool hips toward dropping
into abyss of poverty, the latest woe.

Whip-sawing mice elf and minnie mouse…
cheeses mother f**king fate
constitutes master set of automobile keys
to drive our 2009 Hyundai Sonata
went missing of late
which unasked for quandary
finds both thy missus and her mate
fraught with increased angst evidenced

by tension around temple of pate
which headaches rare for me, but genetics
blessed this chap with top rate
anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder,
panic attacks…social schizoid state
thus complementing my deprivation
from pounding migraine
akin to psychological battlefield tete a tete

with ability to function the casualty
of mortal kombat “war”
and fast loosing weight
do to physiological symptoms
re: nausea, palpitating heart, vertigo
barely contain via cocktail of medications,
which ordinarily ameliorate
aforementioned wracking symptoms,

that most definitely invite suicide as bait
rather than besieged vis a vis
inner maelstrom doth create
but death not readily agreeable to me,
cuz if escorted by grim reaper….
that would be the first and final date
though, Matthew Scott Harris
remains alive - mailer demons

viciously claw in an attempt to eviscerate
as descent of black crows,
(whose eyes widen
like black eye peas) and gravitate
to this wrecked vestige of
generic chap, who doth hate
above iterated series
of unfortunate events
(move over Lemony Snicket)
I tried to illuminate

aware that artistic pursuits
in one form or another
could be cathartic, fantastic,
intrinsic…magic, that could
somehow solve thee crisis,
which critical reliance on driving thine car,
a present topic de jure source
of irritation drive me to impersonate
convincingly in situ, a lunatic madman
fit to be tied or strapped

in straitjacket and duct taped mouth,
whereby arms and legs rapt
with attentive experimental scientists
intently observing
viciously jagged oscillations
of sinusoidal curves mapped
omnipotent bound by super strong

steel magnolia derived wires
fixed to mine numb skull held –
with chrome dome capped
upon mine head whereby electrodes
send shock waves so
for the present and immediate future,
I can be a zombie and adapt.
help me if you can hi yam feeling down....
(no longer relevant)
since every aforementioned line written,
cuz me and the spouse
long since left said town.

Suffocation experienced analogous
to absent echocardiogram
or electroencephalogram blip
(Derek Chauvin - he of
George Floyd infamy) iron maiden grip
linkedin with psyche subjected
to laceration courtesy cruel horse whip
mine inexcusable
(albeit clueless faux pas)
family members living social in Bend, Oregon
and Oakland, California did yip
private information across cyberspace did zip.

Apology (ex post facto)
extended regarding about
mine guilt ridden conscience
programming mental state
think sufferable infinite
jesting Möbius strip
casting dark shadow of doubt
looping along outer limits
of twilight zone
futilely shucking off
emotional tailspin (kamikaze) fallout
impossible mission
unable to muzzle or thwart lout

who poetically blurts out
simian old routine programmed
erroneously heavily incorrectly
peppers entire Hollerith
or IBM punched cards
yielding botched defenseless redoubt,
when Yankee doodles dandy
teapot short and stout
convection currents trigger
whistle Dixie when liquid piping hot
a microcosm concerning plate tectonics
across webbed wide world
yielding necessary oomph
to migrating trout.

Absent awareness
flourished amidst ignorance
sixty plus shades of gray matter
hotly doth smolder and burn
unbeknownst rancor did furiously churn
when yours truly divulged
he made aborted attempt
to couch his genuine
paternal care and concern
lack of discrimination
and judgment I did not
(honest to dog) recognize nor discern.

Understandable blameworthy
grievance against me,
not granted app parent permission
thus culpability I obediently yield
words that sparked hurt
now utilized to wield
heft to communicate authentic love
(cryptically coded)
and hermetically sealed
hopefully in due time
mine discretion well healed.

Comeuppance generated
desire to **** self awoke
resolution to make amends
bedevils this bloke
who deservedly receives just desserts
invisible hand doth choke
living daylights, hence
nightmare scenario I evoke.

Following objective forthwith
pained papa doth aim
constitutes feeble attempt made
to reach out and accept blame
reckless transgression
to spout warrants claim
if religious, thence within perdition

while still alive
mine flesh set fire to flame
analogous to burnt offering
even that sacrifice considered lame
imposed upon lovely bones,
I cannot utter nor name
one garden variety primate repurposed
thru cremation his cruelty destiny will tame.

Awfulness permeates nerve wracked soul,
because behavior concerning yours truly
hashtagged boneheaded rogue
(as easily attested to courtesy the missus),
indiscriminately sharing sensitive information
innocently celebrating their joys and sorrows
concerning welfare of deux biological chicas 
which pathetic body, mind and spirit triage
attributed to where fool rushed into
where angels fear to tread.

No ambition, exertion, inspiration... arose
these last few days melancholy grows
a brief lull occurred,
whereby lack of crafting poems or prose
insync engulfed and teed off par
for the course
stainless steel pitch forked shows
with mettlesome irony
(perhaps witnessed
by dearth of posting)
finding me figuratively pitched
upon horns of dilemma.

Far from human league,
(more'n mark twain fathoms
into deep purple troubled waters)
I flounder amidst flotsam and jetsam
mankind receding toward lost horizon adios
at sea within Lake lachrymose
moody blue foo fighting
wretched beastie boy feels morose.

Subsequent diminution to write,
nevertheless mustered
aforementioned reasonable rhyme
attempting to describe psychological plight
thru arranging words, I take flight.

Sown by Norwegian bachelor farmer
in tandem with baked powder milk biscuits
courtesy your guardian angel
(otherwise known as Matthew Scott)

Writes to his dearly beloved precious offspring
(today March 25th, 2021)
in summer re: a shayne maydel darling daughter
prostrated by grief evincing figurative bite marks
indicative being smitten (now unrequited love).

Ever since her young heartthrob
unexpectedly rent asunder
fledgling relationship,
his heart felt initial zeal squelched,
when prized progeny voiced ecstasy
toward him, an attractive lad
regarding company hungrily sought
once breached a bond
subsequently rent asunder
impossible mission
to bridge formidable chasm.

Aeons of sorrowful tears shed,
wherein our hereditary blood and flesh
weeps profuse grievousness
whereby papa
(feeling helpless thousands of miles away)
wonders how much more time will elapse
before aforementioned lass
exhibits freedom from melancholic affliction.

Scant amount of time
actually constitutes
longevity of amorousness
between Shana Punim
and he who caught fancy
of same quite sensitive
twenty two year old young woman,
nevertheless an ordinarily
indomitable female spirit
reduced to inconsolable grief
similar to when Zayda
(her paternal grandfather)
passed away inching up on six months ago.

The width, depth, and breadth amidst
every cell comprising
one generic body well nigh
manifested as yours truly (me)
doth also plaintively cry
nsync with sad mood
(analogous to when
said loved one didst die),
cuz filial linkedin connection
automatically triggers chain reaction,
who helped beget
referenced youngest adult child of mine.

Naivete and innocence
pitched hither and yon
to and fro, where male testosterone won
out against moral scruples
(read marital covenant I violated),
where temptation appropriated from son
of the Boyce Brandon
and later Harriet Harris,

who willingly and wantonly
surrendered himself to concupiscence
thus receiving just desserts
being privy forced to experience hurt,
(albeit vicariously)
heaped upon Shana without question.