Here at Highland Manor apartments
me and the missus occupy room B44
courtesy qualified medical personnel
Lansdale, Penna CVS store #01379.

No qualm regarding being vaccinated
though yours truly NOT panic stricken
succumbing to aforementioned disease.

Although gaseous and prone to combust
heed words of caution lest ye turn to dust
on par with thermonuclear explosion gust
no guarantee insured courtesy Healthtrust
will keep ye intact not transformed into krust
an unflattering word according to online urban
dictionary meaning extremely unattractive girl
who nevertheless experiences capacity to lust.

Scenario being blown to bits courtesy flatulence
fate worse than death, yet plus side no expense
neither funeral nor cremation costs nevertheless
gastrointestinal eruption necessitates civil defense
albeit calling Army National Guard to commence
to evacuate fast as greased lightning suffocating
wracking, choking, etc unbreathable ambience.

I get inoculated against microscopic coronavirus
approximately two days ye probably feel desirous.

Continue to take proactive measures i.e. maintain
social distance don mask and wash hands advice
solicited by Anthony Fauci else cavalier devil may
care risk analogous to gambling or playing dice
whereby rigor mortis sets latest statistic cold as ice
who knows maybe dead soul shunted to paradise.

Latest pandemic NOT last microbe human beast
will challenge resourceful **** sapiens species
severely challenged throughout and nearly ceased
to flourish innumerable times when deadly disease
did satiate grim reaper with (think smörgåsbord feast)
civilization experienced figurative low water mark
bleak prognostication if prediction made when least
odds favored man/womankind who nearly lost leased.

Biologically deft transmitting genes by peopling Earth
fecund gals bearing children heavy around their girth
metaphorically chomping at the bit tending domestic
tasks preparing meals call of wild heard by animals
drawing fierce predators e'er closer aromatic hearth
rustic storytellers grunting primal laughter and mirth.

Gratitude extended to intelligent minds that toil away
enhancing quality and longevity of existence keeping
ravages of once fatal illnesses and/or mortality at bay
additionally those whose culinary draw allow, enable
and provide foods choices regarding healthy entree
sculpted edible delights exquisite glistening imitation
mouth watering sweet treats that trigger viz Fabergé
temptations tantalizing taste buds - me diet... no way!

Yours truly classified as rebel
after accessing https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/.

I thank Renée J. Cardone
affiliated with Spring Ford, Pennsylvania
telehealth services mental health therapist
courtesy doxy.me web portal
not quite twenty four hours ago
February eighth, 2021
informing me about above link.

After completing the questionnaire
the results revealed my tendency
as initially iterated trending toward Rebel
albeit eloquent, which means
according to author the following:

1. I resist all expectations,
both inner* and outer* alike,
and choose to act from a sense of choice
of freedom. Upon waking up
first thing in the morning, I think,
What do I want to do today.

2. I work toward personal goals in my own way,
and refuse to do what I am "supposed" to do,
I accomplish my own aims.

3. I can anything I choose to do,
and seek to live my own identity and values.

4. I resist control, even self control,
and usually enjoy flouting
rules and regulations.

Antiestablishmentarian moniker in one word
best describes my general dogma and ethos.

Unitarian universalist credo,
(not necessarily considered
actual religion perse)
gently did buzzfeed me.

Dad (more'n two and a half score years ago)
drove our family
(myself, mother and two non twisted sisters)
to Main Line Unitarian Church
816 South Valley Forge Road
Devon, Pennsylvania 19333.

One impressionable little boy
named Matthew Scott Harris
though of Jewish legacy
considers himself a goy,
yet his Semitism not obvious
as he mingles among hoi polloi.

Though comfortably affiliated
with above democratic
and universalistic paradigm,
I do not attend regular services
though of late yours truly
linkedin (courtesy zoom)
with Cherry Hill,
New Jersey fellowship.

Tenets promulgated courtesy Thomas Paine
an English-American writer
and political pamphleteer
born February 9, 1737
within Thetford United Kingdom,
thus I doff figurative hat
regarding happy 284th birthday
and died June 8th, 1809.

His Common Sense booklet,
(a 47-page pamphlet)
plus 16 "Crisis" papers,
(which appeared within Colonial America
between 1776 and 1783)
heavily influenced American Revolution.

Dissemination of radical
anti British polemics
(amidst fledgling contiguous
thirteen English entities)
spread like wildfire among
unfederated disparate states

inculcated subsequent generations
nsync with purported founding fathers
to enshrine constitutional amendments
allowing, enabling, honoring
and providing freedom
to experience life, liberty
and pursuit of happiness.

inner expectations = objectives focused around ourselves.

** outer expectations = assignments to appease other people.

Above title attests how mine
mundane mein kampf
flush with adventure overflowing excitement.

Apt aforementioned accurate personal description
culmination of decades worth
hesitation and trepidation.

Ever since garden variety generic guy
long since experienced being little boy
mean kids constantly teased and bullied me
on account yours truly being small fry.

One puny socially verily withdrawn lad
no surprise experienced suicidal ideation
throughout public school even as undergrad
never wagon figurative tail when fired
from one after another workstation.

Hence metaphorically hermetically sealed self
against incessant beastie boys squirreled away
amidst imaginative escapes courtesy bookshelf
isolates myself, viz remaining figuratively at bay
interestingly enough petrified livingsocial whereby
flesh and bone closely resembled hardened clay

hashtagged Matthew Scott Harris as pipsqueak
deadset to halt physical maturation without delay
anorexia nervosa (modus operandi) did buzzfeed
starved and emaciated lovely bones
as main entree
unbeknownst then, but clear as a bell now
emotional state of parents
unspooled and didst fray
father and mother aghast
their pallor went ashen gray

grim reaper wielding
large scythe intimating hooray
approximately half dozen years later
both parents relentlessly vilified
verbally hammered
and especially didst inveigh
against their sole singular son
born thirteenth of January
hooded think those folks
who begot me cruel as kkk

to escape vitriolic wrath atop roof at Glen Elm, I lay
Gambone builders bought property
razed demesne
nevertheless indelible memories
emotional reprieve
spiritual succor delivered upon
many a bygone May
when heat radiating off shingles
served newgateway
passing time and wishing myself far as Norway.

Yours truly risk averse
which characteristic,
I declare constitutes curse
thus isolation found me sprawled out
upon wuthering heights
against regular diet of diatribes
delivered carte blanche
with expletive filled verse
toward solitary son ill fate
receiving nasty brutal abuse
considered dying far less worse.

Precious minutes and hours atop
gabled hideaway blithely did elapse
me gingerly scuttling out attic window
though agoraphobic and loathe to drop
distance and no longer courting death
no matter concluding life (during
early/mid twenties) total flop
merely wishing rage against
male offspring would stop.

Inconvenient stated truth,
albeit synopsis regarding
second born (middle child)
begat courtesy Harriet and Boyce
upon their psychologically harried
flesh of young blood

yelling hurtful words severely uncouth
(both parents deceased),
now said heir long in the tooth
who wonders why forsooth
he tolerated torturous abuse.

(in an attempt to cover up
(overlay) fruit fly waste byproduct)

At four feet eleven (fifty nine inches),
the spouse longitudinally challenged
hence she browbeats her husband,
(who only stands five feet ten inches)
but boosted in height
courtesy lightweight bench.

He gingerly maneuvers selected picture,
(i.e. wife artfully cut from magazine),
where ceiling meets wall
(right inside apartment door)
as beloved (oompa loompa) sweetheart
otherwise known as me said counterpart
carefully scrutinizes positioned snapshot.

"...More toward the right
and smidgen lower down"
impossible mission quite
challenging, I feel her smile or frown,
yours truly consigned to present plight
since he pledged his troth - downtown
Norristown, Pa (xxv plus years ago) knight

in shining armor agreed
to secure marriage license deed
since unicellular seminal seed
planted - while sowing oats we'd

both threw caution to the wind
(and nine months later
after surrendering to call of the wild
proud parents of beautiful child),
she long since flew the coup exiled
her father (me) and mother
to empty nest syndrome initially riled
with painstaking sadness.

In retrospect methinks how role as dad,
I blundered with countless faux pas - my bad
to mismanage challenges - and exclaim Egad,
albeit silently reflecting back many years
of course now glad -
both daughters overcame being mad

toward him who helped beget
while gamely gamboling, scampering, romping...
with barenaked lady
of course willing poet
(thrusting shaky spear) at large also unclad
(mine eventual permanent counterpart)
bedded upon mattress pad.

Even while solitary bachelorhood (aye
attest said status earthlinked me by and by
completing approximately three+ decades -
whoa how time did/doth fly)
one garden variety generic guy
(who e're since being little boy

felt extremely shy),
a characteristic, he now doth decry
cuz being socially withdrawn,
(yea... think figurative fly
on the wall, or wallflower
mein kampf devoid of healthy development
thus fashionably late socialization went awry

particularly when learning
contra dancing, although
juvenile behavior exhibited plying gal inapropos
became brazen and quickly learned not act slow,
when asking pretty thing, this bozo
genuflected and gesticulated...

ofttimes quickly made to eat crow
communicated with immediate revulsion,
(no matter I imagined myself
modest nonpareil beau)
actually eventually met young lady,
who took me as husband material "hugo
*** yarself a mate" -
track played within mind (mine)
lest celibate state worse than death - ya know?

Signified birth of our second bundle of joy
whereby linkedin chromosomes betwixt
the missus and I intimately expressed ourselves  
and me would alloy
courtesy meiosis the miracle
of human reproduction would deploy
distribution of genetic material.

Full term newborn occured
Suburban Mercy Hospital birthplace
(2701 Dekalb Pike, Norristown, PA 19401)
nine months after spermatozoon gave chase
to ovulating ova
(cue all around the mulberry bush...
pop goes the weasel),
the former latter did embrace,
where sonogram revealed inchoate face

courtesy yours truly burst into
singing amazing grace
adoring newborn exquisite
as finely wrought lace
a biological daughter frisson
snap, pop, and crackling within myspace
automatically, immediately, and ultimately
ingratiating special place
within mine heart of darkness.

No greater purposefulness
exists than to behold thee alive
bearing witness regarding thee
exiting thru birth canal ye did dip and dive.

Tethered to umbilical cord
analogous to astronaut
linkedin to mother ship
bobbing and weaving
once forced out the womb

thru metaphorical fjord
inconsolable offspring crying,
no matter papa implored
though nonreligious, nevertheless
ofttimes paradoxically invoking lord.

How quickly orbitz around the sun sped away
crawling and climbing in no time
atop highest ledge utmost goal without delay,
which might help explain
mine premature hairs of gray
and your dare devilish more frightening
than being hunted down courtesy janissary
(or so I imagine) above exaggeration, I may

beg poetic license and pray
ye anonymous reader enjoy
reading about our precocious Shay
(Hebrew for beautiful)
progeny, who though developmentally challenged
frequently ordinarily calm, cool and collected dada
uttering stronger epithet than oy vey.

Now, one score plus two years
astride planet earth ye attest
to mine wide eyed opened amazement
buzzfeeding, snapchatting and livingsocial
(shutterflying a pinteresting life)

more so than me at twenty two,
no matter I did detest
living under same roof as parents,
cuz yours truly felt like
most unwanted guest!

Coincides with astronomy's cross-quarter day,
marking the midpoint between
winter solstice and spring equinox,
which will occur at 5:37 AM on
in Northern Hemisphere
Saturday, March 20.

Small consolation old man winter
spans fewest days
of all four seasons,
especially when massive nor'easter
predicted today January 31st, 2021
including within neck of woods
named Perkiomen Valley Pennsylvania.

Yours truly remembers
when spry Jack (****) Frost
(just yea high -
both arms stretched to sky)
came early, left late and bossed
vernal equinox
rattling barenaked branches
obviously inapropos
to budding friendship.

Now (courtesy global warming/ climate change)
mother nature experiences feeling strange
within valleys and atop many mountain range,
wherein goods traded away on stock exchange.

Fortunate concerning yours truly
versus daring to brave
inclement weather
getting stranded in the process
(possibly becoming gratefully dead)
risking life and limb venturing forth

amidst near whiteout conditions
creating debacle perilous and grave
shoveling snow lest he get buried
he can remain holed up
(in tandem with the missus)
snug as a bug in his mancave.

While nestled inside warm abode for awhile
(at least until temperature upwards doth dial
safely ensconced against elements (of style),
I stopped at metaphoric woods edge
trekking until... for no rhyme nor reason
the poetic metered equivalent,
viz another mile
then stopped for coffee break

burst of energy gave me cause to smile
fording imponderable stream of consciousness
impossible (airy) mission to dodge regarding
aforesaid daunting task to craft worthwhile
poetic endeavor to entertain anonymous readers
gleaning how one bard (with his shaky spear)
evokes fiction being snowbound
as if cast adrift within Siberian exile.

Straightaway I continue writing askew
aware how literary trademark modality
characteristic of Matthew
unwittingly indelibly embedded
analous to mine Caucasian
versus swarthy melanin hue

man automatically confers eligibility granting
innumerable known mighty opportunities
(privileged skin color - how unfair)
bigoted prejudices shade those,
either hashtagged as black, brown
naturally copper toned gentile and/or Jew.

Move over Linus
Van Pelt of Peanuts fame,
cuz yours truly
also psychologically lame
since prepubescence
mine noticeably long hair

delivered inner comfort,
yet found some classmates
calling me "hippy" by name
though other tormentors among them
hurled expletive laced offensive insults
even ethnic slurs much less tame.

Absolute zero
anti-bullying laws prevailed ahoy
when reasonably rhyming poet
just a little beastie boy
"mean kids" hurtful tactics

they did deploy,
though one bookish lad named Donald Hoy,
he rode the same bus as me,
and most likely practiced magic ploy
to ward off nemesis.

Impossible mission
to detangle mane reason why
I experienced omnipotent
hair reed bond neither thy
father, mother nor therapist

could understand or qualify
outsize (obsessive/compulsive)
significance well nigh
much more (hyperbolically writing)
blatantly mystifying and unsettling

versus comprehending meaning
regarding the bridge on the River Kwai,
whereat these long strands
emanating from scalp, I
imagined them extending
out into space into no fly
zone, and if adored locks threatened
with someone brandishing scissors
one puny lad would cry.

Parents did not berate,
when early within mein kampf,
no matter my mother did execrate
obsessive compulsive thoughts did instigate
long necked pencil geek son
did unwittingly irritate
analogous to Samson

(though Delilah not my mate),
I imbue power courtesy each golden lock
atop me addled sub tracked pate,
where fifty plus shades of gray matter
houses ticky tacky psyche substrate,
which doth bubble, gurgle and percolate.

Only upon taking me last breath of air
viz, when grim reaper delivers death,
I will unroll welcome me
Scottish Harris tweed mat without fanfare
(for this common man),
and just maybe allow, enable, and provide
thee opportunity for scissors

to lop off longish straggly hair
subsequently repurposed into a
security blanket ideally suited
to create creature comfort within lair
for garden variety and generic caveman,
who truth be told lives very near
yours truly in Schwenksville.