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Within mein hermitage
now dwells one euphoric troglodyte who wept
upon hearing unbelievable news,
(albeit at snail's pace schlepped
finally proclamation emancipation
gave reasonable rhyme yours truly to *******
(not prematurely), subsequently I leapt

into the air, and kept
myself aloft completing
one after another sumersault and except
for minor nuisance of gravity
nevertheless landed feet first and crept
back into mine mancave adept
to survive alone in the wilderness.

Seventy four million popular votes
tallied across country,
gives ample reason to grind hips and bump,
(cuz the most votes
cast for any presidential candidate in history),
which Republican contender finally plopped
hook line and anchored

courtesy Taj Mahal replica sinker
into dustbin of history
good riddance electorate voted out
loutish oaf, which voters chose to dump
best mandated to cavort with zoot suited frump
on any given Wednesday available to ****
rotund barenaked lady merging
into humongous protoplasmic lump.

Caught red handed concerning
more'n where's the beef
stole 2016 election
under nose of Hillary Clinton
abused role, when tasked
as commander in chief

good ole Charlie Brown nemesis
caused nothing but grief,
hence yours truly quite elated
upon occasion when figurative new leaf
turned over and booted out
as more onerous than Baghdad thief.

Hit the ground running
with nary a second to waste
Joe Biden, Kamala Harris and company
proving their steely eyed mettle
after victory lap Democrats did taste

usher in COVID-19 game plan
bolstering pandemic defences
where prior administration sorely misplaced
priorities United States Lady Liberty
wantonly, undeservedly, subsequently
her reputation disgraced.

Hope springs eternal - ah tis amazing grace
yours truly suddenly brimming with optimism
able bodied diverse cabinet to erase
formerly inept sycophants with intentions base
running amok within White House

at long last competent candidate won the race
adieu Donald Trump, who
did disappearing act at Mar-A-Lago without a trace
sore loser teed off absent American
delivering his humiliating defeat coup de grâce.
Innocuous, yet unhealthy threat looms across
(air/radio) telecommunications devices
linkedin with plenti networks that criss cross
even primitive computers utilizing DOS

by George, which archaic code
once powered Mill on the Floss,
now long since covered over
with flora I lichen and recognize as moss.

Surgeon general (Jerome Michael Adams
20th Surgeon General of the United States)
strongly advises against, yet he does not boast
threat looms large coast to coast
watching more than five minutes at most
equivalent machination, the following I post

re: guarding haunting experience
analogous visit by fashionably late ghost
2020 presidential election coverage
able, eager, and ready to prey upon host
whereby curious George experiences
feeling noggin fried like toast.

A carefully worded (fake) communiqué
purportedly the brainchild of one freak
Matthew Scott Harris,
whose jargon puzzling as deciphering Greek
long story short while in utero,

he experienced cerebral leak,
said cheesy mousy man no longer meek
quite evident courtesy literary pique
his haughty style aiming to characterize
generic guy as self anointed Sheikh
sought after acceptance tepid and week.

Nevertheless he speaks/writes truth to power
aforementioned serious risk steeped within
social media platform sensory overload I ascribe,
whereby subliminal messages

voter's blitzkrieg does bribe,
albeit unconsciously, hence me subsequent rhyme
equals forewarning in league with mild diatribe
which receptive yours truly can transcribe.

All joking aside
oversaturation soaking up
presidential election aye chide
against viewing in excess (five minutes at most)
affixed to live streaming broadcast

can find thee steadfast staring getting bug eyed
thus hoop fully let moderation serve as guide
cuz the eventual outcome re: guarding
president elect political experts cannot hide

though be wary lest premature ******* trumpets
sore loser candidate, that
bombastic egotistical ignoramus lied
cuz prejudice nsync with pompous pride
for four years to many
the webbed wide world let him slide,
now as one common Joe,
a hardened criminal he best be tried.
whiling away his time playing solitaire...
November second two thousand and twenty
fast approaching the final countdown

With less than twenty four, twenty three,
twenty two...  hours
harkening, heralding or (worse case scenario)
hindering the presidential election,
I trumpet mounting tension and suspense,
whereby anticipation hangs
analogous to sword of Damocles
precariously looms - casting dark shadow
across the webbed wide world.

While safely ensconced in his man cave
yours truly snug as a bug in a rug
quite aware the geopolitical stakes grave
speculating whether I will be forced to sell lave
over a hot stove to earn me keep
attending tsoris of missus rant and rave,
especially if social security stripped away.

Should the Republican incumbent
clinch the nomination
courtesy voter disenfranchisement,
hooligans threatening violence,
spewing conspiracy theories
or other ****** maneuvers

the country most definitely
headed toward perdition
condemning everyone minus super rich
to live as basket of deplorables
scrounging for measly scraps.

Figurative screws tightened
upon scuttled constitutional birthrights,
while commander in chief
arrogantly dons totalitarian mantle
exuding Grinchian grin
issuing one after another bromide
battleax and henchmen forthwith decide
peace on Earth and

good will toward men/women
making travesty founding fathers/mothers
pledge guaranteeing inalienable rights
subsequently sacred documents falsified
instituting instead corporal punishment,
whereby armed militia ordered
to smoke out where traitor sought to hide.

Indeed nothing like good n plenti
healthy dose of mayhem to roil
time tested democracy methinks
Thomas Jefferson would approve
of said message, yet no doubt stupefied
at how fledgling United States
matured into plutocracy
incorporating bajillion dollar campaign cost.

Blitzkrieg advertisements inundate airwaves
mudslinging contestants unethically behaves
how aging long haired pencil necked geek craves
idealistic civil plebeians versus patricians
lovely bones of interred forefathers
within weathered tombstones graves
plucked burial sites souvenirs stolen by knaves.

Best advice to ye dear (rabbit) reader
hunker down into bunker till end of time
keep yourself busy writing one or another rhyme,
cuz some future archeologist will discover
visa a vis profound wordsmith, whose sublime
abilities necessitate special skill decoding
mysterious symbols courtesy algorithm prime
transmitted across bandwidth,
now where flourishes cyber crime.
At 4:03 PM on November first
two thousand and twenty,
the missus nsync with yours truly,
(an inimitable average Joe - cur -
biden his time at Royersford, Pennsylvania

LIDL food market)
unexpectedly witnessed cashier
manning checkout aisle number two
to experience technological glitch,
which checkout person patiently,
thru various and sundry attempts

tried to nab ghost in the machine
invariably found register
to display DECLINE
despite one after another
dogged trial and error
deliberately entering $25.79,

the balance remaining
after ALDI purchases rung up today
at 15:27 (military time),
said unnamed cashier
tried his darnedest
to troubleshoot snafu,

while yours truly nonchalantly reports
my superhuman xray vision,
easily observed undetected
immense cerebral activity
silently and soundlessly

appraising amazing faculty
boring him with mine
invisible telescopic quasi proboscis
vicariously discerning himself
he finally managed
to surmount (figuratively)

mind boggling daunting challenge
applying cumulative technical acumen
at long gave last mental
herculean heave **
to resolve quandary
(after much time elapsed)

subsequently I made mental note
to notify management
first thing in the morning
designating said individual
as (at the least) employee of week award.
Synonymous with light hypnotic mode
inhaling and exhaling diffusing anger
lest mine noggin would explode
rhythmic breaths flowed
sustained me red nose (think Rudolph) glowed.

Holistic approach to derive peace of mind
necessitating absolute zero noise
(the slightest distraction
offsets delicate transcendent state)
nevertheless effortless breathing
(whereby mantra incorporated)
buoys body, mind and spirit triage.

Trail of tears left in my wake
tortured psyche I cannot take
woebegone roiling anguish doth quake
one christened Matthew Scott Harris
quite popular namesake
yours truly
zapped, wretched and tattered
gruesome caricature keepsake.

Me beast of burden exhausted,
thus I take tired *** abed
cuz cheeses crust,
this brother spiritually bred
though NON GMO gluten free
das capital one human got cred
linkedin and locked with dread.

Retrospective of mein kampf on display
no time for sergeants, nor hip hip hooray
mine burdened psyche clamors, hankers, pines...
willingly bequeaths fractured father
to posterity, I just wanna lay
overburdened spirit desperately plunges
into terrestrial realm reaching passageway
where pained existence bids adieu
flourishing grateful dead today.

Book of Wisdom in the Bible,
chapter 2, verse 8
advises gather ye rosebuds while ye may
impossible mission to squelch
testosterone laden hormonal secretion
nsync with biological call of the wild
helped beget deux offspring.

Series of unfortunate events
(only known to Lemony Snicket)
finds eldest grown daughter bereft of beau
who abandoned her
he went back home
to Puerto Rico.

Emotional pain wracking said progeny
(wind knocked out her sails)
vicariously experienced courtesy
saddened sensitive simian
soporific sullen papa, he whose
biological flesh, bone and blood
unforgivably, unfittingly, unfairly subjected
to unnecessary undeserved punishing lament.

Me and the missus wrought smart "star student,"
who matriculated and graduated storied
ivy league college
University of Pennsylvania alumni
suddenly strewn helter skelter
cuz ex boyfriend earned handsome income
to pay pricy apartment
housed within Oakland, California.

Dada poor bucks here
unable to allay financial hardship
saddling lovely young lady
birthed approximately twenty four years ago
both of us parents indigent
nonetheless livingsocial hand to mouth
along ritzy, snooty and tony MainLine
Lower Merion top notch school district.

Bellicose tirades spill forth
out the figurative mouth of our bubala,
she livid ranting with rage
shouldering an onerous task,
whose dark shadows cast grotesqueries
creep along the edge of night
within outer limits of twilight zone.
Fred Trump taught his sole son Donald
how to steal the leading way into more ***,
though no hint given, nor prediction forecast
in his growing up years, that would foretell,
thru base anaphylactic cronyism, egotistical
gall insidious kleptomania call, malodorous

Machiavellian offal obnoxious quintessential
skullduggery, unfair wicked yik yak zeal
to wield selfishness, a mean mogul with brass,
who would unstintingly live up to his surname,
and trump every law in the books of jurisprudence
and crass bend avast set of constitutional laws
to feed his ferocious fealty to the all mighty dollar

flaunting, fleecing, and flipping  the welfare
of those (he deemed must serve him
his insatiable hunger) to connive, dictate,
and expedite his hell bent assiduity,
an empire fit for a King, who felt no aversion
to mollycoddle, peddle, and wheedle

any zealous contractual obligation
(immediately abrogated), and concoct fabrications
vis a vis, a visa versa MasterCard his
American Express shun re: the art of the raw
FitBit (if necessary browbeating, depriving,
forfeiting meting out legally obligated pay

whenever an inconvenient truth awoke
in his noggin reneging fiduciary promises
to the risk-taking, moon shining, toiling citizens
ala Indian giving per many an unfair deal
exuding crass with especial treatment
to withhold wages for his (held in check)

Polish laborers, who built his city on rock and rolling
stock – so a Starship emblazoned with
outsize ego of an exploiter with no pay
to his backbreaking Polish construction
motley crue nor even mucho grassy us
for erecting his empire now ranked in
billions of dollars unfairly pointing a finger

to berate, dictate and finagle foreigners
(illegal immigrants, he would now boot
out of this country) to carry out drudgery
with hungry stomachs growling at slave wages,
lamentably plodding since any other employer
might question their vlsa status, hence anger
boils within this generic human enraged

his wealth squeezed from every last drop
of said craftsman, now if still alive old and
broken men crushed by the mighty
self proclaimed dictator of the proletariat,
whose hollow being blind sides those
he stares down, yet beware all that glitters ain't gold!
(warning ungapatchka language ahead)

Flush with rage the spouse will become allied
if reference made how she buzzfeeds disorder
altercation especially likely if divorce blurted
making me wish to experience (immediately)
bartered bride, when mine pointed finger doth
nonverbally chide markedly appalling untidy
predilection she blithely exhibits woeful scant
interest to maintain can-do spirit affecting plea

zing aesthetic humble abode ofttimes slacking
off cleaning trail of abomination, which talent
includes unwittingly cultivating qua primordial
soup possibly duplicating conditions when life
originated (bajillion years ago) on planet Earth
witnessed courtesy think gummy, groovy, gooey,
gloppy, (nippy, nap, noopy) protoplasmic slimy
oozing blob (starring Steve McQueen) amoeba

like swallowing small towns with names such as
Chester Springs, Downingtown, Phoenixville,
& Royersford hungering, hinting, and hankering
to hasten home hearing Harris harridan hooligan
hoopla conniption purportedly linked into order
issued courtesy board of health for hen pecking
wife to hustle & make house beautiful for Biden
(accompanied with hit parade) announcing (yea)

at long last Republican administration overhaul
which fête yours truly slated to host determined
(weeks ago), thus necessitating legally wedded
counterpart to apply elbow grease in tandem to
render **** & span where unsightly food scraps,
soiled clothes, scattered papers, et cetera strewn
helter skelter, the disarray the culmination of 4+
years occupying these digs in Schwenksville, Pa.

Upon being told "get the place in ship shape order"
she went ballistic like bupkis fired out me gluteus
maximus, (whereat I couldn't help but think ICBM)
yea, an incongruous thought as she rattled vitriolic,
colorful expletives coarse language enough would
make sailor blush shutting his yapper uttering before
he even uttered "shiver me timbers," hence clatter
and din created cacophonous noise as my fair lady

affected one woman siege warfare as pots and pans
flew pell mell thru air while I took refuge in fallout
shelter unused since total mortal kombat destroyed
major swath of webbed wide world, global debacle
our dear leader triggered (when in pensive mood) he
lobbed weapons of mass destruction after being axed
to "go back home" meaning his mother planet Uranus.
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