courtesy hurling mandarin oranges.

Yes quite juvenile
unladylike childlike behaviour,
mine wife oft times doth display,
I do not deplore

yours truly reckons
tis futile effort causing furore
aye attest bull
in china shop incorrigible *******
exhibited by spouse

out of bounds antics bon jour
earlier within marriage
shenanigans twas the stuff
back in the day
sparking altercations, haint no lore

regarding wedded bliss
muddle aged doozy storied
married couple expressing
mutual love nevermore

did deux disparate
birds of a feather flock together
espousing total mortal kombat
(with looming fruity weapon
of mass destruction

living below poverty dirt poor
surviving (barely) hand to mouth
unable to afford
top of line high grade

clean atomic bombs rapport
re: ruining our reputation
as hoity toity main liners
portraying child's play
conflicts in East/West Timor

almost annihilating each other
i.e. zee Harris family
plus well nigh turning
planet Earth into vapour.

Sober realization of brinksmanship
brought now auld
geezers (defanged & harmless)
flinging foodstuffs cold

and/or frozen leftovers
(carbon dated), petrified extolled
as delicacy among Neanderthals,
who would value and

cherish fruit lobbed as
love's labour's lost more precious
(as a physical expression of affection)
more so than fine spun gold
thee rented man cave serves

atavistic trait hard rock cafe
functions as pleasant reminder,
where one percent genetic
stock originated (think noggin
rock hard iron maiden mold).

Backtrack to years spanning 2000-2010
wen furious red hot poker rage
twas unmanageable when living
under duress within Penn Valley

even tranquilizers could not assuage
harkening back when yours truly
under threat courtesy battle ax
and her henchwomen,

which matriarch took immediate dislike,
née rabid (foaming
at the mouth loathing)
towards yours truly

them days outright state
of undeclared warfare
found fury within me
exceeding the wrath of Kong!

Thank dog, I mellowed since then
gratuity prescription medication.

flailing, lurching, and writhing in throes of agony

Trumpets blare acknowledging
crack hunters lucky strike,
i.e. bullseye salvo shot at
innocuous yet brutish
and nasty looking **** sapien
courtesy elite militia incapacitates,
(yet doth not ****) mortal enemy.

Tis a moost dangerous threatening president
(assailed all points of the compass)
able, eager, ready and willing to loose
anarchy, chaos, entropy...
sabotaging, sacrificing, saddling
every precious life (yet those unborn)
within ethos, diktat, and credo of brinkmanship.

His indefatigable stonewalling campaigning stage
lumbers with increased rage
taking out apprentice playbook, a page
titled how to win at all costs -
even Pyrrhic victory
(bang... bang... bang near fatal reportage).

Part and parcel of Democratic brigade
I aspire lobbing metaphorical brickbat enfilade
to stoke public disgust at
United States incumbent president
more incompetent than student in fifth grade
(apology extended for any unintended insult
exhibited by whip smart kids
genetically custom tailor made).

Though madly thrashing
across his barren domain
all manner of expedient strategy
to defeat him, I will try to explain
for no citizen of voting age
ought not remain complacent
one humble human (me)
smugness doth not feign

cuz, day of reckoning
spelling boom or bust,
Joe Biden moost gain
as commander in chief lest...
the following blather
I readily admit might seem
pointless, futile and inane
yet fools rush in,
where angels fear to tread,

while America crumbles to ruins,
a fate moost loath to witness
if apathy prevails nary any trace left,
where glory throve and inevitably
strews once fruitful plain
inviting twenty first century Vandals
to usurp millennial reign
thus on two hundred and forty fourth
anniversary when original thirteen colonies

set figurative sights to track and train
democratic experiment, within which history
(yours truly, a generic hypocrite)
admits instances where
tentative existence graphs
sinusoidal curve, which plotted path
waxed with promise, boot now
prospect for continuity doth wane.

Shameless to allow lofty ideal
regarding hard won enfranchisement amendment
gifted upon all citizens, yet inalienable right
still far reality exercised
(née thwarted every step of the way
towards those whose very flesh bled)

with justice once and for all
for many across land
from sea to shining sea
(line excerpted from America the Beautiful
accredited to Katharine Lee Bates)
penned during 1893 trip
to Colorado Springs, Colorado.

googling inept kickstarted lame outré jaunty hokum

(alternately titled:
Random screenshot within me noggin
instantaneously transforming,
née devolving into gobbledygook.)

I got born with poker faced physiognomy,
no matter yours truly doth not play cards
though self same person impractical joker
shuffles thru life without (think silent owl)
gives no hoot, though reckons Halloween
mask permanently affixed bonafide tragic/
comic features ofttimes resignation chiefly

communicated, one luckless boyish looking
goodfella, (a veritable greybeard, albeit or
kissed striated uber wordsmith yawping zee
lot misanthrope) chronologically edging two
ward the edge of night concerning mortality,
meanwhile fudging primitive protoplasmic
prurient predilection emblematic of proud
primate, i.e. **** sapiens 1% Neanderthal.

At birth, yours truly a tangle of arms & legs
scrawny bundle of lovely bones linkedin as
hypothetical extinct creature halfway in
evolutionary line between modern human
beings and their anthropoid progenitors, an
atavistic penchant to scurry along on all his

four indistinguishable limbs rooting around
for grubs using quasi snout (visualize) multi
sensory proboscis (adorned with coiled cilia)
evolved for touching, tasting, snorting, and
(sniffing out) smelling faintest molecular jot.

Mutations begat courtesy
in vitro fertilization gone awry
amateur Doctor Frankenstein wannabe
horror, he did decry
innocuous experiment genetically
designing generic guy
wrested out bubbling test tube,

manifested nsync with no lie
feted date regarding celebrated
jumping frog of Calaveras
County - chosen birthday
one primate roaming July 2nd, 2020
approximately CCXLIV orbitz
after initial 1776 fourth of July

ushering, igniting, exploding
contentious, prodigious, riotous
racial quandary paramount
issue conscientious Earthlings contend
obliged regarding minecrafted
dissension front and center
across spectrum of humanity

necessary burning issue ****
sapiens unavoidable progressive
equality mandate to occupy
even attention of Holden Caulfield
made household name
courtesy J(erome) D(avid)
Salinger's Catcher in the rye.

No matter yours truly peculiar
looking packaged, oddly
pickled, and puckered, thus
token scapegoat (no kidding),
this ole buck (bully me)

shunned, ostracized, penalized...,
(when just good little boy,
nor baad *** man) never privy
to good luck, cuz I always feel
(felt) excluded, intimidated,

and marginalized (yes in part
resembling a being from an
alien nation (and/or
outer limits thereof)

preferring the twilight zone,
especially when dark shadows
crawl along edge of night,
where nocturnal ghastly
emanations issue forth.

Mine easily becoming hypnotized
allows, enables, and provides
ingress for spectral constituent
shape shifting material
courtesy Matthew Scott Harris,
which disembodied ethereal flotsam
phantasmagorical spirited phenomenon
coalesces around me

gently cocooning, engulfing,
and fabricating yours truly,
whereby I become
transmogrified into an unfurled
magic Harris Tweed Scottish
welcome mat flying
to and fro, hither and yon.

(summarily iterated June 30th, 2020)

I share the following lines
with utmost delight
courtesy 20/20 hindsight
June twenty ninth
two thousand and twenty

corrigible, fallible,
and intelligible light
hearted fella (aging
baby boomer) usually polite
doth not trend toward
superficial nor trite.

Ostrich with wordplay
(mine metaphorical putty) enjoys
shape shifting rules
of English language
never knowing literary
endeavor (mine) outcome
unpredictable as wind
doth form sand dune
farfetch'd physique

peculiarly genetically hewn
no avian expert, yet
sports wide whirled
webbed analogous to loon
yours truly at heart,
an honest to dog poltroon
acquired pipes, whereat
ofttimes I sing out of tune.

No idea when predilection arose
to toy with said mother tongue
frequently buzzfeeding me passion
I rend toward proclivity
maketh anonymous reader to doze
gibberish spews gobbledygook
gushing out imaginary hose
frequently diverging off course

pertaining to poem title
which (reading between
the roaring lines) here
sought to delineate highs and lows
regarding squandered (particularly
linkedin with female)
friendship opportunities aye sip pose
jangling this beau zoe
from head to his toes.

I don't mean to engender pity
excruciatingly socially withdrawn
garnered alienation since birth
regarding human bonds, which dearth
all thru these three score years

athwart planet (unfit) ness Earth
pregnant around equatorial girth
found yours truly figuratively
tied to mother's apron string
I always felt safe and secure,

within home and hearth
even when Scottish welcome matt
yanked away by those who begot me,
now in retrospect ability
to muster mirth

within savage dime
a dozen verbal lashings
(courtesy mama and papa,
deceased and declining nonagenarian respectfully
ironically distills their overlooked worth.

Shying eye contact, I vaguely recollect
Matthew Scott Harris
as wee lad did disappoint
way back during second grade lunch
at Eagleville Elementary School,
a pretty girl christened Renee
(if memory serves me correctly)
induced writhing and foaming

incoherent sounds of silence
indubitably witnessed yours truly
an extremely shy boy
hiding behind makeshift barrier
(possibly tartan patterned lunchbox)
to avoid at all costs
painful penetrating piercing
inducing me to look askance.

As an extremely shy kid
(lacking benefit of powdermilk biscuits)
even briefest eye contact with lovely lass
sent extreme agitation
coursing thru measly frame
wreaking emotional/psychological distress

(visit repeated aforementioned
refrain ad nauseum)
recurring without letup
boyhood to young adulthood,
when within close proximity
attractive gal froze mine functionality
even with intent to exchange passing "hello."

Fast forward to recent past
i.e. namely second half of bleak existence
angst oozed and profusely did bleed,
when ability to bolster daring deed
communicating amorousness awkwardly freed
potential foolishness or embarrassment,
I shushed inner voice of amplified reason,
side stepping preservation,

aye did not heed
boot blurted out juvenile
barenaked lady desires indeed
spelling repugnance and
instant ruination against fulfilling
hormonal secretion need
wanting to escape utter fool hardiness
beating retreat (tail between legs)
ruffly with hasty dog speed!

Just me and mine shadow doth blog
passivity, the path of least resistance oh my dog,
an emphatic YES,
a legitimately valid reason and rhyme to flog
yours truly (figurative emasculation),
thee catchword to hog
immediate attention,
see above named poem title

the best idea to expound upon,
while attempting creative juices to jog
all mein kampf, I felt like a bump on a log
please... don't be hesitant
to identify me as a nog
one aging long haired pencil neck geek
never reached maturity forever a pollywog.

More clearly, plainly and succinctly
one sniveling poor excuse for masculinity,
I continually experience
unrepentant (unforgivable) humility,
hence lame justification
Matthew Scott sought adultery,

which unwise choice attempted
(pun intended) to fill a void
****** propensity linkedin with precepts
attributed to Sigmund Freud,
though skepticism skirts

barenaked lady ******* psychoanalysis
downplayed or Oedipus complex
shrugged off (heavier imposition
versus Atlas) fails to bridge any mettle alloyed
within me psyche.

Absent healthy teenage
dating experiences, think tryst
I yearned, trended then
regretted handy dandy wrist
took rat tick antics subsequently,
and compromised spawning prurient dalliances,
hence understandably missed
(until death do me part)

doting upon then young daughters,
rightfully thee eldest one
(born 12/22/1996) still ******
at primal, gonadal, and brutal predilections
now... finding very little reason to exist
matter of fact I dreamt
(earlier today June twenty seventh
two thousand and twenty), the gist
regarding harming self

courtesy sharp pointed objects
(that string of words
doth hoop fully connive fist
(cuffed) around handles of knife

discounting divorce (from wife)
i.e. remaining uncoupled
mandated eventually note hissed
unbridled love and apology

toward thee missus and progeny
who forever did blacklist
das scribe, how objectionable
now, he profusely kissed
mouth of other voluptuous

(zoftig) older women
(consensually, flatteringly, indiscriminately)
and amazingly enough spouse did insist
to forgive, boot never forget.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
thus very little paternal (filial) love expressed
and she chose to live yonder
Oakland, California her temporary dwelling
no matter, her papa blatantly confessed
YES, more'n his eye did wonder.

At present petty coated junction irreparable schism
doth rank as horrendous on par me adopting fascism
forever sullied image ("daddy's girl")
who once thought the world of me
selfish misdeeds buzzfeeding swelling egoism
no more how enlightened I became

ex post facto, pure unconditional acceptance
refracted light risque behavior thru prism
where primary parental accountability
not satisfactorily explained away courtesy
Darwinism (to seed genes), nor chauvinism,
whereby ever since time immemorial
men disregarded and hardened libido
against marital covenant.

Before golden opportunity
(goes no argh hue mint
the way of Long John Silver)
doth fade and dwindle
not necessarily cuz the missus
did (NOT) bribe and swindle
an ambition (for nor rhyme nor reason)
arose to kindle...

Affectionate communication
employing (figurative) gambol
probably testing your patience
to decrypt me trademark ramble
essential crux of matter after
ye prune thorny verbiage,
metaphorical berry good bramble.

Methinks yar psyche slid into funk
cuz usual upbeat gregarious disposition
of late (June 26th, 2020)
analogous to reclusive monk
whose nonverbal body language

shrieks "LEAVE ME THE ƒµ©* ALONE"
lest recipient (in this case yours truly)
receives judicious suckerpunch
finding him landing - ouch
on his buttucks - kerplunk!

Nevertheless as one
mister misanthrope to another
who could pretend cavorting
as asinine make bull heave brother,
(or undergoing extreme makeover,
and stretching imagination voila
one garden variety generic beastie boy
rendered into... yup, your grandmother.

Hoop fully no unpleasant memory
doth suddenly unfold
linkedin to said very old
boot (moost likely)
long deceased family member
turned to dust commingled with auld

Lang syne amidst weathered tombstones,
markedly intact skeletons absent
any flesh o'the rear
some etched with hands folded in prayer
mausoleum enshrining even in death near
(think grim reaper kingly leer)

still provoking jeer
profligate (yet prolific) paperback writer heir
housing generations ghostly forebear
comprising your family tree, once... dear
father, mother, sister, brother, et cetera
who profusely guzzled beer.

No intent to induce fury if playful banter
loosed psychological trip wire
merely harmless ambition to deliver mirth
lobs strike out as decided
by just now summoned umpire
on the ball punning away without tire
greatly flattered if literary antics inspire
ye to pen memoirs,

which become New York Times
bestseller, thus countless clamoring demands
to serve as ghostwriter hire
prompt ye with fame and fortune
before thee doth exhale last breath and expire
when moments prior,
I while impersonating a squire
wished ye a cheery bon voyage.

Spanned into infinite vista
far as these myopic eyes can see
now yellowing Whitmanesque
leaves of grass encompass field of vision.

Nary a dark dreadnaught cloud in sight,
nor unbeknownst if/when threatening storm
looms on horizon slaking parched land
delivering precipitation quenching thirsty terra firma.

I too experience vicarious dehydration
during bonafide dry spell
constituting theoretical string
hoop fully curtails weather beaten
flora and fauna

conceding blindingly bright
cloudless summer days
across disc (sky)
to amply liquidate shriveling assets.

Unbeknownst when spate of rainlessness,
(i.e. I pray for moderate soaking precipitation)
thwarting immediate indications
meteorologically signalling onset
regarding definition of drought.

Nothing more humbling
than cacophonous thunderstorm
nsync with jagged bolts of lightning
accompanying drenching downpour
analogous to downed wall of water
cascading from upper atmosphere
intermittently pelting landscape

albeit immediately, magically, quixotically...
transforming parched land (Highland Manor)
into profuse lusciousness
harkening Edenic denouement.

Impossible mission (this simple bumpkin)
(one local Schwenksville yokel)
(Civil War union soldier incarnate)
to forecast today/tonight
eventide of June twenty fifth
two thousand and twenty,

when Zeus will doctor
animals and plants courtesy
of requisite life source
also known as H2O,
comprising above mentioned
two hydrogen atoms
and one oxygen atom.

Ironic, how approximately
three quarters (seventy five sense)
engulfs planet Earth,
yet many environments
suffer inadequate deluges,
more so now with climate change

(global warming) increasing temperature
across oblate spheroid
compromising habitable places,
yet methinks coronavirus (COVID-19)
gave mother nature
much needed reprieve

cleansing heavily polluted urban areas
courtesy partial lockdown and restraint,
whereby **** sapiens
deterred, jackknifed, prohibited...
spewing noxious forth fossil fuel byproducts
encouraging, mustering,

plying, telecommuting, zooming
avast array of activities
augmented by virtual reality
technology supplanting mass transit,
thus diminishing deadly toxins
absorbed by all creatures
great and small.