Alternately titled -
dear readers ye each saddled as exegete
to make sense little known excerpt
referencing obscure passage printed
calligraphy style groovy and neat

found scrawled in book of Matthew
which Biblical passage also replete
with date of last family outing
~mid January 2020 birthday treat
at Collegeville Diner.

Countless reported instances occurred
well... honestly maybe at least once or twice
(oh and of course preposterous claims
abounded made by men
and even cheesy mice),

where public television viewers
like you dearly paid ultimate price
by merely stealing quick (hesitant) glance,
or if feeling brave
a prolonged stare would suffice

nevertheless, (whether former or latter case)
their fate sealed, especially viewing
against heeding sagacious advice
daring themself just sneak peak
of mid abdomen (mine)

of course including ridiculously
absurd looking headshot
(none other than mine) -
jarring funny bone enough to suffice.

An instantaneous propensity would elicit
heard all around world wide web,
particularly along rolling green acres
of Highland Manor) many a hee haw
(mostly strangers no less) burst out laughing

by ghost of George (Bernard) faux Shaw
vocalizations, viz uproarious thunderous guffaw
(think trademark utterance linkedin with hyena)
out the mouths of babes,
plus purple people eaters,

and many an in and out law
even envision token blushing zebra
as authenticated constituting last straw
that broke camel's back,
who also fell over convulsing

with belly aching jaw
breaking, teeth clattering writhing cackle
and impersonating chickens squawk
king, the feeble and lame metaphors I draw
though the aforementioned raw

bits of good humor
spurred courtesy eldest sister
(she decreed exempt, and not held accountable)
while celebrating recent birthday (mine)
(as iterated earlier)
at Collegeville Diner ~mid January 2020.

Hence... unlawful and
overly dangerous to affix
boot impossible mission to squelch
totally tubular poetic antics
whereby sharing photographic likeness

(mine), lest picture unleash battery of bricks
getting hurled toward me
at light speed, where clicks
of handcuffs and leg irons
would immediately shackle

purportedly once worn by Jimi Hendrix,
thus I felt gently brushed with Woodstock fame
subsequently tolerated
and welcomed skin lacerated
with deep purple chafing and nicks.

but for some unknown reason
more tired than usual...,
without daily twenty four hours
proper rest, I feel haggard.

I strongly suspect (a hunch acquired
upon returning home
after visiting Notre Dame)
deep sleep interruptions...
attributed to uncontrollable need:
tap a kidney, micturate, spend a penny
(thee last mentioned British, informal)...
quite displeasing... yea urinate kidding.

Methinks perhaps to purchase adult diapers
(or fashion/repurpose water absorbent material)
in an effort to stave off awakening groggily
after experiencing an awesome dream, cuz
REM (rapid eye movement cycle) interference

courtesy natural function versus external
noise, which when slumbering both equally
affect bringing about onset of fatigue,
yet herewith yours truly intent to hone in
on former.

Meanwhile, he hoops to entertain thee dear
anonymous reader with the following poem
posthumously dashed off while falsely
believing himself to transition into afterlife

So sit back and kick up dem heels
without falling on yar crown
and/or bare stocking feet
and/or if ye prefer by all means lie down
attempting moost impossible mission

to flip (i.e. reverse) any lurking frown
other than standing on head whereby gown
and/or other stitch of clothing (casual wear)
preparatory to embarking on scheduled hoedown,
perchance participating among other groupies

(a gratefully deadset of fervent beastie boys
and goo goo dolls) join fracas intown
where martial law heightened surveillance
police able, ready and willing with Billy clubs
to crack then scramble noggins, and knockdown

civilly disobedient citizens in dire straits
politely courtesy coronavirus
(COVID-19) lockdown,
which heavily truncated livingsocial options
inextricably linkedin with societal meltdown

psychological fallout endemic among Caucasian
or hue men/women talking heads of natural nutbrown
persuasion, which madding crowd (think Woodstock)
where little upstate New York town
of Bethel hmm became quickly overgrown

with peaceable folks across gamut
regarding age, nationality, race, religion...,
rendered superfluous strong arm of law to putdown
and/or quell any anarchistic uprising
(perhaps even top brass
military industrial complex)

incognito as... beetle browed brothers
of some contraband slated to perform
and eventually gain world wide webbed renown
donating their unexpected proceeds
to upgrade and gentrify

one after another shantytown
even boosting fame and (mis)fortune
of Matthew Scott Harris
at long last, he could relocate
out his tumbledown abode to parts unknown.

on America's Got Talent: The Champions episode,
which starred Youtube phenom Marcelito Pomoy

Words superfluous to attempt
registering apropos accolade
of modest Filipino, whose
dog given gift to belt out
jaw dropping, eye opening,
heart stopping, ad nauseum
vocalization merits deserving

laudatory praise haint no charade,
cuz aforementioned young man
warrants his own
yellow brick road esplanade
his pronounced nonpareil ability
automatically, instantaneously, unequivocally
promotes him to meteoric rise highest grade
way above stratosphere of mere mortals

into pantheon where select angels invade
celestial sphere (think Thomas Kinkade,
whose painting skills indubitably made
admirers of his creations invariably wish
to merge and become overlade
with bucolic, exotic, kinetic...
more picturesque than Grosse and Quade
found with environs of Schwenksville,

yet some idyllic and rhapsodic utopian
place where sounds of nature serenade
said metaphorical description falls short
how his raw emotion
(aching with divine amazing grace)
collaborates, communicates, consummates...,
poignant rappelling, scaling, traversing
across moost rugged landscape unmade.

Ye too must get linkedin
to the following webpage
https://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=hcgvYr2nlrk
heals analogous as mental,
physical and spiritual triage
world wide web inadequate

for Marcelito Pomoy stage
suddenly... melts away
the global hostility and rage
moments ago unbeknownst
anonymous to yours truly,
a veritably unknown
outsize venerated personage
with megawatt smile,

catapulted amongst luminaries,
whereby me feeble and
lame attempts to craft far less
brilliant literary evocations,
nevertheless no overdosage
of audiological exposure
to savor and espy breath-taking

visualization of entrancing
fantastic gracious holy image,
now impossible mission
to decouple myself toward
listening and watching
mesmerizing powerful fellow,
who I admit unwittingly
voluntarily holds me hostage.

(May 6,2020) for umpteenth time,
no deliberate attempt to rhyme
rather to express satisfying reason
incalculable absolute value prime
mate (me) derived bliss oh so divine.

Fresh animal tracks thru equa door
gave urge right of way
plethora experiencing cuteness
(Peru) vid me oy vey

while taking virtually
augmented jaunt to Uruguay
cats, dogs, horses... as they
(meow, ruff, but never neigh... say).

Unlike lions, tigers and bears oh my..
do not know pretentiousness
as evidenced after binge watching
countless videos on AOL homepage
since... well beginning of time,

loosely translates approximately mere decades,
which within world wide webbed world
generally registers soon after
dawn of twenty first century
ushered telecommunications tsunami

(i.e. more specifically
aforementioned web logs
craftily became adventitious
when Internet permeated every day life),
where inspirational cuteness

factor off the charts,
which poetic idea
came to mind watching an owner
over pamper her four legged
furry feline friend.

Melt your heart deal liver red
(really, sincerely, truthfully,
I no kidney you),
nor will ye most likely beg to differ,
but omnipotent bonds between
pets and their owners shed

figurative light intimate communion prevails,
cuz upon demise of beloved
domesticated feline, canine, equine...
inconsolable profuse tears gush
analogous to loss of significant other
he/she did wed.

Mutual unconditional love linkedin
to cathartic, intrinsic, therapeutic... win
win situation offering kinship time and agin
tender loving care if ye been
unstinting purr displaying unfettered compassion
regarding caressing, feeding, massaging... even
cuddling non human creature if not chicken

against getting henpecked,
(no different than child)
both dependent upon regular attention
to allow, enable, and provide escalation
engendering inseparable oh my dog categorical
inextricable unbounded blessedness
beyond infinite realm of calculation.

Perhaps recalling fond
vetted memories, how alert
nsync with non **** sapien
family creature did
unwittingly proffer comfort
vicariously experiencing recollections

viewing podcasts exert
tug of nostalgia, whose absence
(i.e.death) of mine favorite
boyhood pooch (Georgie) did induce hurt,
cuz both of us shared doggone happy times
understanding each other
despite remaining inert.

Aha - argh... oh my dog...
don't mind me muttering, eh?

Earlier today (May 5th, 2020),
I forget thee exact hour
found me utterly beside mice elf,
matter of fact even at this moment,
yours truly doth feel mad at himself
cuz Aldi's merchandise (mostly food)
needed to be restored to their proper shelf.

Upon further contemplation
me thought quite futile
and pointless to expend energy subsequently nill...
best swallow figurative bitter pill
and maximize opportunity to take quill

in an effort to salvage sanity lest poetaster
schrieks with voice noticeably shrill,
thus if curious to discover visa vis
motive poem got crafted read further if ye will.

Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) card, i.e.
formerly known as food stamps
I never secured into wallet for safe keeping,
mine minor ohm my dog oversight surged thru me
(as if charged with a bajillion amps),

said aforementioned revelation occurred
while standing in a long line at Aldi's
attested whereby other patrons stood
pipsqueaks in tandem with their gramps
which snaked all the way to "5th and Japip."

Pointless regarding yours truly,
ordinarily insightful and adept
(in short, a generic and garden variety
local ******) who schlepped
courtesy rubber express
(think shoe leather) - except
sneakers adorned little (mine) feet
thus imagine hypothetical inept

hobo or ***** his bindle
slung over shoulder
traversing countless miles,
cuz an odometer he (I) kept
indicated staggering and sprawling distance,
sometimes on all fours (faux pas) he crept
hence no way would exhausting effort
be made for nought.

Riches to rags summarizes bio in short
former spendthrift and prodigal son
with lip service paid toward quaffing port,
whence reduced to penury, a courtship wasted
mein kampf of pennilessness insync with sport
despite feted happy occasion,
I discreetly did cavort
unbridled shenanigans bedding young nymphs

entailed minimal effort,
when lavish catered affair slated to celebrate
one lovely slip of a lass,
she (no rookie) beguiled
stealthily intended marriage to abort,
nonetheless gaining handsome dowery
with quintessential private escort.

We both acquired deserved comeuppance
therefore allowing, enabling and providing
me opportunity to attend contra dance
by going stag
wowed by gamut of coeds

moost who with subtle nonverbal cues did entrance
oft times imagining traipsing across France
courtesans attending every private need
ah... so much for castles in the sky
invisibly concocted via
strong swooshing dominant arm with lance.

In reality scratching out what began as prime
motive to detail forgetting ebt card
intending poem to communicate
spending more',n dime
times one hundred

hemorrhaging checking account
as momentary lapse of reason with rhyme
as often occurs time and again
poem takes fabulous convolutions
squeezed like figurative lemon going from
ridiculous to the sublime.

I barely experienced
getting clothed (think fashion wise
as metaphorically swiftly tailored
harried styled mortal)
approaching naked truth
regarding life, liberty

and pursuit of happiness..,
nonetheless yours truly forever gropes
in the darkness of ignorance analogous
to imagined (envisioned) asymptote
demarcating experiential enlightenment
heading toward verity of righteousness,
yet never subtending arc of enlightenment.

Quite the contrary woebegotten mortal
forthwith struggling to acquire
consciousness raising awareness
approximating essential virtue
offset (er... rather severely deflected)

toward pitfall of vice
(comprising gamut of lurid temptations),
which default status
exerts overwhelming, overpowering, overemphasizing
draw (think powerful magnetic force).

I frankly, grievously, and honestly attest
predilection finds this hoary beastie boy
scarcely able to tread water swiftly rising
above his hairless fabby, & doughy chest,
where left and right man ***** delineate
miniature (albeit sagging) Mount Everest

quite obviously feeble human specimen
(farcical) gentleman quarterly not hottest
male within Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,
nor anywhere upon oblate spheroid, he jest
I kibitz re: absent good humor lie bull lest
stubbornly refusing to leave debauchery
rather remain holed up within rats nest
steeped in familiarization re: egg guarding

hen pecking (matt er fact) Harris sing pest,
where no spring chicken thwarts impossible
mission (mother clucker sabotages rooster)
offsetting opportunities to experience nirvana
quaffing electric koolaid acid test brew rest

assured (me not snorting while typing) test
ting out (lit Miss, really haint no chore), and
merely sounding out prospects to make vest
head interest for prosperous friendship with
brio, extra mayo, sauteed onions and zest.

Often these days
the following genuine sentiment
Matthew Scott Harris
doth wish to share one son,
cuz fifteen years after mother succumbed
courtesy of terminal illness

I still reckon how yours truly
shrugged off proffering
tender loving care
within whose womb,
this sole son born,
thus shouldered with self scorn.

He clearly recounts
as if her death occurred yesterday...,
(when all mine troubles
moost definitely not far away)
last remaining grains sands of time.

Imagine an hourglass
where fine granules
trickle from one to another
(upper to lower) bulbed chamber
just prior when coroner decrees death,
yet an opportunity prevailed

wherein said self (me) chose
NOT to stand vigil at deathbed
of she begat
an older and younger daughter
(mine sibling sisters).

Last breath(s) expelled while mama
tethered to machines,
one or more helped diminish
agonizing, depressing, and writhing
pain and discomfort
racked once fitness
and health conscious
industrious, tenacious, and vivacious body,

which malignant terminal illness
(no joke) riddled a former robust
Arthur Murray ballroom dance instructor
(think approximately fifty years past),
whose flirtatious demeanor
instantaneously caught fancy of handsome
twenty something papa at his prime.

Before rigor mortis quickly
stole precious lifeblood, and
final minutes ticked away until
countdown to... realm of absent consciousness
scant moments before subtle transition
slipped our beloved mother into deadzone...,
neither final adieu, caress, grief...,
nor poem written...
never communicated to deceased,

not an iota of sorrowful lament
bequeathed, prevailed, relinquished...
over lifeless body (mommy dearest)
relegated limp suddenly cold stone body,
where morgue aged corpse
kept in cold storage
(despite aversion to frigid air
exhibited by mama)
preparatory to cremation process.

Rather... suppressed resentment
exhibited itself at 1148 Greentree Lane
(partial listed abode -
Matthew Scott Harris,
plus his family resided)
by mister recalcitrant,
felt ambivalent carte blanche blasé affection

regarding once young bride,
(who smothered cingular heir insync
with dada i.e. Boyce Brandon Harris),
cuz he (yours truly overstayed
livingsocial under same roof as parents,
which happenstance situated at 324 Level Road.

Both thee aforementioned
supposed biological guardians
railed, screamed, tormented (albeit verbally)
yours truly, upon mine eighteenth birthday,
when great expectations greatly exacerbating

emotionally hard times,
which ill suited poet de jure
experienced, brickbats rained
down upon these
(considerably mooch younger) lovely bones
whose anger (mine) smoldered

linkedin to constant epithets of expletives
out the mouths of those who begat me,
subsequently their livid with rage
tsunami festered within every
holy Mole (he) molecule

within mine atomized corporeal being
manifesting itself as deprivation
to embrace dear mama
attended at hospital with both sisters;
one hailed from Woodbury, New Jersey.

and the younger staked out
modest home within Bend, Oregon,
meanwhile thee grim reaper
did patiently scythe soon
heading back to his old curiosity shop,
a rather bleak house, I now conclude.