Yours truly grief stricken
(sob... sob... sob)...
wheely hard to bear
this anticipatory anxiety
riddled joker impossible
mission thwarting despair

death knell tolled (told),
woebegone news, I did fear
hears stunned me into silence,
the unwelcome prognosis,
I needed to hear
no joke, but good humor

totally wrecked vehicle forces
yours truly to become...,
no not a lion tamer
but, yes a panhandling junketeer
begging, copping, dilly dallying... ha
to accept unpleasant

unexpected dire straits
gravely digging within lithosphere
bidding... fare thee well
treasured automobile faithful and near
synonymous with ideal paramour, yet now
must confront stark reality,

lack ample disposable income available
no financial resources to persevere,
and worse case scenario me
and the missus will need to don
faux Santa Claus outfit,
and roundup available reindeer

for ourselves (yea... yea... yea...,
I realize how spare
and tired, pessimistic,
forlorn success such short notice
unless if... nah no fat or slim chance...
apocalypse ushers abominable thermonuclear

war, (I doubt Trump would
pull publicity stunt
to be re elected - ha) whereby
Beatle browed, foo fighting
foreigners, survivors impressed, feted,
compensated... for service
unless they willingly volunteer.

Combination future pluperfect
birthday presents and Noel hi
Christmas gifts well nigh,
noah ark cake "FAKE" attempt,
to hoodwink, engine ear,
trunk hate, et cetera
drum, harp, trumpet... belie
including objective to shanghai,

nor fall out of good amazing graces
toward (me) garden variety generic guy
providing steadfast generous
figurative air supply to fortify,
revving me shaky talent,
ye may oft times decry
as unintelligible gobbledygook

brainstorming ideas to try
single handedly ambidextrously
poetically kindle indeed codify
to elucidate how transportation
car reared and gone awry
moderate expenses as original parts wear out,
(i.e. battery, fender, brakes,
hood latch, shock absorber, tires...

albeit almost all simultaneously), hence I sigh
aware expounding circumstance that doth defy
immediate resolution incumbent to pacify
troubleshoot immediate impasse
squarely render quintessence
problem solving the overriding
challenge, I vilify.

If putsch comes to shove,
aye ain't no doggone fraidy cat
nor chicken little
fearing coup d'état,
yours truly simply
risk averse, and more exact,
he stays sequestered
within these four walls,
cuz tis safest inside this flat
always... mein kampf,

I remember when fertilization begat
after nine months in utero...
ah dat womb dar full habitat
i.e. ****** cradled humanity, whereat
teeming bajillions primates
peopling planet Earth
couples made lovey dovey after spat
(which species among
other flotsam and jetsam),

got shot out (think) analogous
muzzle loaded gat
excellent marksman aimed
then squirted packed heat hot
as summer temperature
gets within Gujarat
recorded courtesy, thee
oldest functioning thermostat,
albeit microcosmic primordial vat
testy sea men don

(May comb hairy
gah great again) conical hat.
I surmise proto humans
especially storied hall
(conjured in Peer Gynt
by Edvard Grieg
of mountain king)
trumpeted, tooted thwacked,
and announced presence
courtesy posterior primal mating call,

which vibrant cheekiness heard all
around the mulberry bush to Gaul
hmm... maybe e'en hot air
inspired Marc Chagall,
while sitting atop porcelain throne,
nonetheless scandalous
****** blasts methinks help explain fall
of Rome, whereby noxious
generated silent but deadly nauseating
noisome pall mall

felled friend and foe alike
analogous on minuscule
scale to Chernobyl
level 7 nuclear accident
also linkedin, when
Polar Vortex doth stall

across avast swath planet Earth
forcing quick thinkers to marshall,
what (mathers) matters
such as... antique pinball
machines worth a mint,
a ***** to install.

Without fail, I would flunk preschool
farcical scenario aside
truthfully, metaphorically, emphatically
resigned to life as replayed
male live violent scullery maid
forced to spend existence locked
within veritable grotesque
dragon filled dungeon paid

existential dues many times over
horrible nightmarish masquerade
eternal punishment cruel fate
refuses to trade
redemption condemning freedom to fade
prefiguring edge of night
mental dark shadows shade
purposefulness reduced trite
poetry without reasonable rhyme

sole recourse to vent bitter tirade
black bile coursing thru
at woebegone permanently delayed
jollity sabotaged travesty
utter ignominious parade,
no surprise violent rage
bubbles up inside decayed
corporeal flesh, where psyche slayed

fledgling inchoate willpower
self destructive courtesy inherited
ignoble misdeeds displayed
havoc struck in utero a frayed
fetus, where mutated
deoxynucleic acid double helix played
out flawed biological blueprint
fetish, obsession, and zealot

regarding straggly tangled mane
salt and pepper grayed
quiescent, indifferent, and ambivalent
once upon a time
flirted deadly escapade
sought out anorexia nervosa
frankly zapped, starved, and
deprived critical decade

destructive, imperative, and operative
diabolical, inimical, and maniacal aide
de camp conspiring, kickstarting,
snapchatting umbilical cord strangling
again allegorical besieging enfilade
machine gunning, fueling,
and endowing tirade
erupted earlier today – 4:00 A.M.

spouse, racket she made
November 25th, 2019 waylaid
ordinary placid quiescent ruminative...
state, whereat as iterated I conveyed
or tried to elaborate intense anguish
thorny debacle arose
filleted here at Grosse and Quade
owned Schwenksville property.

Who nearly knocked me upside noggin
property of self anointed Unitarian sheikh
yea... of course by accident,
nor lame excuse accepted
playing spontaneous hide-and-seek
game, and not exactly romantic technique

to allow, enable and provide sleek
move antithetical to marriage vows
but surefire guarantee
driving marriage to brink
immediately trending toward unique
modus operandi countdown seek

your ring bachelorhood
days numbering less than week
ushering hermit age regarding,
the creator and master of Mattspeak
understandable, she did shriek
feeling abandoned, ready to freak

out, she wearing easy to identify
floppy pink hat shielding incognito pique,
she gravely mistaken for banshee
series of unfortunate events not for meek
nor "Fake" feint of heart as blunderbuss
just amazingly graced
my smooth shaven cheek.

Predicament arose after I drove
2009 Hyundai Sonata wheel hove
(we love) to established local
CJ'S TIRE & AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES
8:00 A.M. today November 19th, 2019 at:
(1405 S Township Line Rd,

Royersford, PA 19468), formerly mangrove
bajillion years ago, thine spouse strove,
while awaiting emergency brake replacement
took short hike to purchase
supplies walking within distance to:
A.C. Moore Arts and Crafts

1824 E Ridge Pike Suite 102,
Royersford, PA 19468,
mine infinite wisdom
erred when I didst prove
thyself foolish heading by jove
to aforementioned store ex post facto

getting her name paged over intercom
only to loopback to
mechanic shop mentioned above,
upon returning to 2 Highland Manor Drive
she did Potchki while anchored, berthed,
hunkered within her cove
channel surfing for favorite program.

viz hitted courtesy debilitating panic attacks

Upon waiting for vehicular repair
today November 19th, 2019 at:
CJ'S TIRE & AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES
(1405 S Township Line Rd,
Royersford, PA 19468),
yours truly, i.e. mister re: man
registered lamentable paroxysm.

All thru mein kampf inferiority complex
analogous invisible muscular heft did flex,
quaking, hijacking, agonizing...
jinxed irrevocable hex
re: heredity did initially index

courtesy Boyce and Harris,
who begat me
guaranteed, fixed, decreed...
courtesy accursed lex
lucifer mortal christened
Matthew Scott Harris – insinuated

jackknifed, kickstarted, limned,
machined, nixed, ordered... orifex
encompassing hardiest inscrutable
seminal entry point
penetrated zona pellucida, qua Rex

wrought flawed crown
faulty erroneous biological code,
within body electric mutation
fleshed out, I lament
analogous courtesy neophyte Unix

programmer, yes I hedge
to intimate biological event
upon impregnation sent
reproductive juices into action
miracle whipped processes
wielded unbeknownst advent,

whereby subsequent
cell division manifested,
albeit nine months later enfant
terrible asper:in,
this then newborn gent
lo' within zygote,

every generic ingredient
already harbored yours truly
characteristic weaknesses full extent
unbeknownst until DNA blooper rent
birthed, thence as I developed absent

pronounceable kinks vis a vis
trademark characteristics became present
evinced thru behavioral, emotional,
interpersonal, neurological aberrations

costing me (lake dude...) woebegone descent
wretchedness faux forfeiting every moment
only recent (think today)
entire existence misspent

oddly enough even compromising
ability to serve meant
two daughters, (especially eldest)
decry horrible life pent
up with rage against human machine

referring to paternal birth parent,
whose pathetic example rent
asunder psyches linked with offspring
hence, I best ought to have
joined a convent (ha).

Twas really only of late,
I realized fuller blown extent
house zing deplorable... state
absolute zero scholastic, tete a tete
opportunistic, generic, athletic...
**** sapien astride oblate
spheroid devoid of any
marketable skill doth resonate.

Nirvana protégé podcast/youtube
phenom quite mature
talented young lass promising future
media attention did capture
overnight starlet exhibits bravure
generates profuse nonstop
outstandingly positive conjecture

nine year old greeted in France bonjour
mademoiselle so innocent and pure
guaranteed future success
near anonymity one day
household name the next,
automatic fame secure,
whose beautiful swarthy
complexion compounds allure.

Courtesy technological tentacled
trappings everywhere
twenty first century raw
talent discovered anywhere
across world wide web
instant cash cow bajillionaire
clinched record deals guaranteed
linked immortal wealth crystal clear
financial woes never nightmare

flush electronic deposits buffer
sudden renown claim heir
reddit teary boosting
quantity kith and kin here
rilled predictable feigned
interest to care,
when yesterday no hoots given
toward young person's welfare.

Such simplification possibly doth err
grossly inaccurate, I aver,
rushed prediction unfair
nonetheless interesting how
forgotten friends and relatives spur
unexplainable long

atrophied well timed flair
to buttress crumbling complex edifice
long forgotten grudge doth disappear
tangentially madding crowd
metaphorical boatload relative
strangers ferried jostle appear
amazingly enough out thin air

human nature inexplicably fickle
another case in point here,
when yours truly did not roundly square,
among classmates nasty glare
but triangulated, threatened, teased...
convenient token (non smokin')
scapegoat bullies throve to scare

name calling, spitting, suckerpunching,
a curse this then skinny, puny, dorky...
boy never did dare
raise his non hazardous dukes fear
ring being clobbered, pureed, whipped...
perhaps thugs ******* my long hair
passively internalized deplorable angst.

(alternately christened great insight
to those who Braille)

Ah.... so glad thee did ask
summoning poetic title
tis most daunting task
if lucky forthcoming praise
will yours truly to bask

and bathe with short lived,
while I quaff vintage
amber liquids out the
golden silver made flask.

Utter exhaustion taxes me
fifty shades of gray matter
while trying to grasp just
one measly idea amidst
all that scatter

to and fro hither and yon
analogous to mire and muck
that doth splatter
courtesy nasty driver
mad as a hatter.

Yours truly scrunches his brow
in an effort to provide,
enable and allow
gamut of meaty notions,
when finally satisfied utter holy cow,
mama mia, eureka, aha... *******
(hoop fully not premature),

cuz arduous effort analogous
to navigating dhow
sailing frothy, choppy, angry... seas
until sudden (b)rain storm doth endow
sudden burst of inspiration
compelling necessary ****** to plow

ahead and expound therein how
so ever dictates of spontaneity now
let me smoothly coast along
offering scant obeisance, thou
divine fabulous intervention,
hence I feebly kowtow

despite covenant, viz devout atheist
nonetheless puzzled what activates
hitting me figurative pow
similar to Batman disabling enemy,
temporarily speechless disbelief
merely summoning wow.

Much time yours truly doth calibrate
what seems bajillion years I agitate
sitting days, weeks, months...
in an effort to nearly ready to abdicate
and disappoint countless followers

thus, this wordsmith doth dedicate
a section of this battlefield... before to late
(think Gettysburg Address)
no matter minuscule chance fate
will find mine path crossing
unknown online respondent(s),

whose feedback doth inflate
inestimable self confidence (ha)
generally held in check modesty sedate
even when praised in person, I emanate
introspective mien downplaying
genetic and/or environmental factors

wherever talent did originate
cobbling words together arose
courtesy this bookworm
doth really associate
predilection to hash out poem.