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Hence donning entire wardrobe,
Saint Nick outfit including,
while trumpeting think spring
argh only about four plus months away
lest some big bird willingly
takes me under their wing
undiscovered since I won't be peaking,
nor quacking duck like

prompts yours truly xing
to tropical rainforest
playing Tarzan and swing
from a vine, while Jane and Cheetah
(sometimes billed as
Cheetah, Cheta, and Chita)
spend hours shopping
upon returning home stock

pantry and house zing
cupboards stacked chock full of
goodies fit for average king doubling
up as Santa Claus gaining
weight courtesy snack foods like
Yodels, Little Debbies, Ring Ding...
thence outsize tummy doth happily sing
Christmas Carols practicing

all year round, especially
*** *** *** wing
nsync with crops germinating
bending, stooping, watering... weeding
abiding techniques organic farming
naturally whenever possible mission avoiding
distributing, generating, impacting
ecological damage, viz carbon footprint

cheerily, humorously proselytizing
landlubbers (land lovers with lisp)
courtesy sweat of one's brow reaping
robust healthy crops - only allowing
enabling, and employing...
eco-friendly deterrents
bajillion green thumbs up
approved by Greta Thunberg

greenlighting her inspiration
to awaken global warming
hence first dibs when harvesting
season this after she subtly,
nonchalantly, enviously... seen eyeing
analogous vis a vis
hungry critters salivating
(think Pavlov's dog)
to savor NON GMO eye watering

delectable, honorable, laudable...
yumzook produce bespeaking
please help yourself
fast forward months later finding
das overly dressed mistir shivering
despite heavily bundled
nature's vegetarian smorgasbord
brutal coldspell faintly recalling
pitch perfect weather eventually returning.
Handy dandy blues clues plain
all purpose favorite refrain
i.e. "impossible mission"
courtesy complimentary doppelganger
G.I. ("Government Issue", "General Issue",

or "Ground Infantry") Jane
in tandem with Alyson Chain
comes to the rescue attempting
to describe entrenched nonproductive
crippling psychological mindset ascertain

most any reader would consider insane
embedded deep within
genetic code possibly
inherited maternal grandfather,
who emigrated nineteenth century Ukraine,

he (purportedly tailor by trade)
only spoke Yiddish,
language used by Jews
in central and eastern Europe
before the Holocaust.

Originally German dialect with
words from Hebrew, and
several modern languages and
today spoken mainly in US, Israel, and Russia.

Mental illness, (or predisposition thereof)
linkedin courtesy heredity,
supposition nuts so crazy nor insane,
yet nothing further about biology
Iberia lee kant hex Spain

emotional status concomitantly
intertwined with possible causes
such as: Autoimmune, Behavioral,
Cognitive, Neurological,
Environmental - inextricably lodged

within cerebral domain
manifesting as countless
fixations, I disdain
(in retrospect) precious time forsaken,
and absolute zero benefits to gain,

and inflicted severe strain
father and mother felt helpless,
especially when anorexia nervosa
nearly imperiled life source villain
rent asunder body electric drivetrain

brought corporeal standstill
loosed maniac running
rampant within brain
emaciation delivered me
at death's door

prescribed medications Mellaril and Elavil
nsync with psychiatric intervention plus
mother as licensed practical nurse wayne
wright me malnourished body
nutrient fortified drinks,

I passively did abstain
eventually grudgingly gained weight
buffering scrawny skeletal
skein knee membrane
definitely stunted growth plus chain

reaction impacted livingsocial
courtesy thank you me private Charlemagne
promoted cultural revival known
as Matthew Scott Harris'
Carolingian Renaissance.
ah jest wanna boomerang back into the womb

No matter birth canal
long since got breached,
countless scores of years
I quickly grew
impossible mission to plunge
(think Nestea commercial)
headfirst back into utero,
haint got any got any
handy dandy blues clue,

nonetheless said wish
I broach to you,
whether ye reside in Baku
Guangzhou
Kalamazoo
Kathmandu
Peru
Thimphu
Timbuktu.

Sudden­ pang roared awake
nsync like blazing saddles
hot enough to sizzle steak
torpid, humid, and
arrid extra dry to take
breath away analogous vacuumed
courtesy fire breathing dragon
chilling parched scales in great lake
already this doubting

Thomas doth hanker
for global warming yore
less than six months ago
(geesh for goodness sake,
when Earth did bake
triple digit temperatures
no thirst could slake,

thus intravenous feeding
in tandem with trach
still inadequate to brake
yours truly did pine... for chill
against dehydration, ah only to wake,
when came the morrow,
where Jack and Jill
sweat buckets, this

before they climbed uphill
akin to madding crowd
clamoring, thirsting, gulping...
every last drop
essentially emptying ****
immense reservoir spill
futilely swilling parched lips till...

Old cranks shrugged off
exceptionally hot weather, and did scoff
younger generation's creature comforts
old geezers recalled
back in the day
as laddies and Tom boy

lassies did slough
no trespassing signs
skinny dipping after they shuck off
clothes giddily swinging
atop highest bough
playing hooky averse

learning would ever payoff
pitying other kids in school
former gathering rosebuds...
around lunchtime hunger
relishing stealing stroganoff
under nose of Mister Groff,

one former German World War II,
who colluded with American "boys"
despite heavily decorated luftwaffe
and posthumously honored
Veterans day getting last laugh!
While outside nor'easter
howls like banshees
vents temperature dips
into low double digits
fire breathing friendly
dragon (cue Barney

purple dinosaur)
crackling hearth,
yours truly snuggling
close proximity warming,
thawing, quelling...
cockles and muscles

atavistic visitations hover
brushes within subconscious
purring, mew zing catacombs
kickstarting, harkening,
dawning... **** sapiens
lion eye zing forebears

dormant memories thaw
predators vastly outnumbered
scattered goo goo dolls,
and beastie boy bands
recherché representatives
toehold barely latched

precarious niche easily
activated evolutionary quirk
imperceptibly bumped uglies
begot robust progeny
offspring expanding comfort zones
penumbra expanding edge of night

dark shadows receding further
outer limits of twilight zone
phantasmagoric shifting shapes (hint...
think Plato's One Republic)
phantasmagoric shifting shapes
alluring, beckoning, daring...

establishing, foraging, growing...
harvesting, invoking, jabbering
kowtowing, livingsocial,
matchmaking (ha)...
now lemme zip forward
bajillion years circa 1970's

British comedy troupe
nudge nudge wink wink,
know what I mean courtesy
Monty Python's Flying Circus
rollicking humorous sketches
oft times tackling primal urges

proto humans initially verbally grunted,
where guffawing laughter
rewarded survivalist basic instinct
temporarily staving rabid
quivering premonitions outside
creature comfort boundaries,

whereby Geico Caveman
will remain till... dis ember
by George thoroughly appetizer,
viz good chilled wren plus
pheasant under glass
burns away hunger pangs.
Though your true blue stated civilian
never enlisted nor impressed,
nonetheless I own an opinion
originally embarked on poetic quest
to express purposelessness,

when soldiers rest
at peace i.e. eternally,
many attired courtesy
smart uniform strong with zest.

Psyche steeped, macerated, brewed
as token scapegoat, cue
trumpets Don to toot
courtesy more'n one
nasty shortish brute

weasley chastened me
round mulberry bush
said monkeys chased scaredy
cat me... point moot
regarding... rung me

ragged standing astute
adjacent Thomas Jonathan
"Stonewall" Jackson
(Confederate general during
American Civil War),

his own troops accidentally
fired on him during
Battle of Chancellorsville
in Virginia doth not compute
"friendly fire" unleashed during

one among many hot pursuit
part and parcel of wars,
since time immemorial
gung ** practiced soldier and/or
scared cat neophyte unwittingly shoot

pellets traveling speed of
sound bullet out - gunmetal chute
ordinarily pardoned distinct mistake
versus homicide statute
nonetheless...about

thee (rhetorical question), wherefore
art thou purpose to war,
those slain now paid tribute
since major hostilities of
World War I formally

ended at 11th hour of 11th
day of 11th month of 1918
yet... I question military conflicts
battle hymns constitute
legacy e'er since ****

sapiens stood *****,
many soldiers of misfortune,
sons of destitute
versus wealthy heirs accepted perception
that war was "a rich man's war

and a poor man's fight"
countless generations ago
deserters fate would mean execute
"the *******," even second decade
into twenty first century

once sworn in at basic training,
getting discharged (***** luck), but absolute
zero tolerance quitting before
duty commitment desertion flagrant violation,
no easy task leaving service minus
tribunal meeting severe to prosecute,

thus joining military unlike
accepting any other job
punishment greater than Das boot,
yet patriotism, née jingoism
not ideal, viz conflict resolution,
verstehen, or did this wordsmith convolute?
(Otherwise titled poetic
gobbledygook trot -
oven chilly cooked confusion eliciting
faint thanks a lot
unbeknownst this tasteless,
senseless, rhymeless... lettered

Rorschach test tease I jot
interpretation, viz hitting
analogously like amorphous melted ingot
watch yourself...
d's lines iz still smok'n HOT,
now I puzzle regarding how

to extricate mess elf aye got
into try'n to strut and trumpet
hightailing to Hong Kong
entrepôt yea, that dot
on the map embroiled -

in political fracas fifteen minutes
of fame Andy Warhol didst allot
every man, woman,
and child even no bot
tee like me.)

Anyway... when zombie like,
I try to dead reckon eyes
purposefulness astride oblate spheroid
nsync with other gals and guys
either one, t'other or all
mask cue lated in disguise

impossible mission to triangulate
Euclid say logic defies
to comprehend gibberish
no matter how much you scrutinize
his highness, qua shape
shifting imperfect square stumps

any tree men douse great mind to analyze
me skewering, marinating, gunning... decries
abiding any logical positivism
queries best addressed to Lord of the Flies
since nary handy dandy blues clues,
I opted out thus...

******* provided to synthesize
random words helter skelter
strewn to symbolize
absent any rhyme or reason
courtesy handy matted figurative
trapezoid doth employ

no paradigm to exercise
leaving comprehension after mine demise
so go ahead chastise
cuz I already know,
never will said poetry win apprize.

Initially, an attempt
sought regarding Das scribe,
yours truly donning checkerboarded rawhide
collared, cuffed oversize raiment, pride
and prejudice obscured
courtesy hand-me-downs
couture also decking out

alley oop trapeze artist bride
of Frankenstein grooming in attendance
with her bonafide
circus motley crew, a veritable
monster mish mashup
happenstance didst decide
unlike traditional feted newlyweds
swingers airborne did only abide.

The law of gravity aerial
pas de deux bodies airborne
aloft pledging their respective troths sworn
fleeting suspended animation while shorn
infinitesimally of Earth's pull
only expert can playfully scorn

accomplishment courtesy no greenhorne
neophytes in utero umbilical cord,
taking root as metaphorical acorn,
thus unbridled and groomed skill inborn
burst out the womb like heated popcorn
snapped up since birth well worn

genes Ringling Brothers and
Barnum & Bailey circus practiced morn
till night stunts became second nature
encore performance no matters bodies outworn.
Curtain Call now doth close
unrehearsed poetic gambit,

cuz yours truly tuckered out I suppose
ready to take his doze
zee dough into dreamland, expose
zing oft times confused
with dark shadow ofouter limits

of twilight zone, where me lovely bones froze
where sudden night mare arose
gripping courtesy rigor mortis head to toes
daunting wordsmith champion
manifestation of daily woes.

Suddenly me clutched
by melancholic despair
somnambulantly where
countless tomb morrows *****
scarcely undifferentiated from yesterday's care
wracking psyche with wrath plus fear
at accursed purposelessness near
faux sing myself regarding pas
city to emulate good cheer.
Best nondescript literate jinxed
humble dug good feller ya e'er seen
amenable, a non biased opinion -
of course I mean mine mein
yours truly gets no lucky strike breaks
particularly never ending

surprising automotive repairs,
thus in sore need of green
i.e. legal tender concerning Hyundai Sonata
two thousand and nine
admirable craftsmanship e'en
though urgent message freon

me and the missus, we
lack adequate funds
until early December
tooth house zen nineteen
when soonest social
security disability payment reason

without rhyme arose cause faulty gene
neurological schizoid personality disorder
honest to dog - affliction since...
in utero growing as little bean
not shy to pull out all stops,
and comb clean

albeit sharing genetic personal flaws
affecting psychological skein
imposing lifetime emotional hardship
invariably causing financial frostbite,
ye might not readily glean
faux Shakespeare's Banquo

(now my bank woe)
to give checking account gangrene,
whereby amputation left absolute zero
cents and sensibility,
but accursed Halloween
nightmare every four times fifteen

orbitz round the nearest star,
no matter applying ample sunscreen
me got smarts attested as seen
evident crafting poems keen
with sophistication, yet oft times lean
if - said phrase Sheryl Sandberg popularized

nsync, she dismisses Facebook cyclopean
tentacles squeeze out private data
muckraking monstrous machine
minting dime a dozen billionaires
anointing Silicon Valley
realm housing queen
and self anointed king Mark Zuckerberg

twenty first century Midas,
no need to hex spleen
his unabashed heartfelt virtue, he doth preen
ah... pipe dream to rub figurative shoulders
never in bajillion years,
and no chance empyrean
afterlife will eradicate hellish scene.
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