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Just my luck that when juiced a lad
din grammar school, aye own every
rhyme and reason tubby mad
every friggin time boyhood fingers
plucked petals off flowered daisy...

just as well, a relief and more than glad
tomb hiss out on doing the wild thang
and be'n totally tube yule lore lee baad
yea, how boring squirreled away
voraciously reading 'bout some cad

oh my dog...I too could write story
"FAKE" steamy extramarital liaison add
chocolate flavored Glynnis (Msgeegee),
whereby celibate chap goes stir crazy - egad
yours truly drives back to her pad

within sketchy part of West Philadelphia
starring as chief protagonist
none other then... yupper this dad
until caught with pants down (figuratively)
thine missus both angry at me and sad

I immediately unapologetic longed to gad
about even jetting setting off to Vlad
divest stock to escape wrath cull bile
daily spewed phlegm at me - ***
off by bajillion miles wife got poor aim

cruel colorful epithets coarse expletives had
filled beyond capacity to resist or tolerate
hence, yours truly sought to skad
had dude dull married life awkward fit
analogous, incongruous, perilous

why dead men don't wear plaid
they make no bones about
nor act self flesh deathly quiet
oblivious toward latest fad
mouldering into dust

whereby gravesites sprout weeds
mother nature's couture clad
eroded tombstone disintegrating
vanishing without trace
unremembered story...
unlike Odyssey and Illiad.
Screaming headlines erupted...
BREAKING news...massacre
barrage of gunfire
wrought countless deaths
newly minted unknown
mass murderer suddenly infamous

speculation immediately
trumpeted hate crime
targeted, premeditated, calculated
mass murderous sprees,
gunmen gloated gleefully
resultant mayhem throve

countless dead tally increased
security details, police,
and emergency crews
barked orders while
yellow crime tape cordoned
mortally wounded

and seriously injured
rushed into onsight
triage units as sirens blared
killer(s) coup shattered
tenuous complacency
prior cautious optimism

hesitantly blinked awoke
initial six months
two thousand nineteen
witnessed eerie calm
before tabloid magazines
ripped pages incomplete bios

unleashed blitzkrieg bullets
rent asunder sanguine flickr
joyus kindled linkedin
outlook presaging quaint
good n plenti peace on Earth
good will to men/women

annihilated as bullets besieged
random innocent victims
giddily, indiscriminately, wantonly...
slain in cold blood
immediate conspirator theorists
gin up rumor mill

defend homicidal maniac
simultaneously don MAGA hats
invectives incurring anti racist
bigoted, capital one
demagogue googly eyed president
unsurprisingly witnesses
popularity uptick

"loose canon" Grinchy grin
hooligan prince smiles
Machiavellian ghost lauds
apprentice regarding 2020 candidacy
able, ready, and willing
promise furnishing arms to the teeth
for every man, woman, and child
as campaign slogan.
Poetry knows no age, as thee Marcia
Abramsohn write (by hand nonetheless,
a long lost art) inlaid with ambidextrous
zealousness impossible to identify,
which hand crafted artistically colorful
epigrammatic ghostly hint emblematic

of former exuberance toward English
Language..., perhaps other once
vibrantly familiar tongues wagging
less as tempus fugit slithers unseen
stealing most cherished, prized, savored...
commodity set to countdown immediately

post parturition, yet blessed for thee
to be gifted your four score plus four
amazingly graceful journeys celebrating
your existence replete with handmaid's
tales chronicling quotidian trials and
tribulations, yet still adept, buoyant,

cogent, diligent, eloquent, fervent,
gallant, hellbent, intent, jimmying,
kindling, loving, mustering, nursing,
outlasting...Methuselah (ha...if only)
lucid moments nudging awake
memorialized occasions, where once

upon a time (seems bajillion years ago)
innocence concomitant with naivete
throve, wherein unfettered dalliances
found untrammeled lasses and lads
absorbed with natural unbridled ******
love whispering sweet nothings strictly

for respective paramour, (this of course
hearsay and speculation) promising each
other moon and stars ah...dusty fading
memories, yours truly can never recount,
(cuz mental illness co-opted, hijacked,
up-ended...adolescent maturation,

whereby agonizing crippling forfeiture jabs
silhouetted illusory oasis peopled with
all the golden opportunities left to wither
on the vine o'mine youth, which mirage
mocks escapist attempt into literary realm
invisible dead poets society regale an

existence bereft (nope, no App could
ever even virtually duplicate (even
approximate) sidelined unrequited love,
and no this marriage yields scant
satisfaction, which fantasy life as
Norwegian bachelor farmer could solve,

where living off the grid could remedy
forever being pennilessness, day late
dollar short dime a dozen dirt poor
dude dulling dufus...that's the news from
my Lake Woebegone...where all the
women...and children above the law
never get reprimanded.
fatty deposit usurped
my washboard physique
I can no longer lay claim
as pencil necked geek
mute tinny utterances futile

to write and/or speak
as recourse to cope with
displeasing body morphology
tis good n plenti humor I seek
to offset feeling morose, and

regular exercise regime to tweak
objectionable physiognomy,
would offend classic Greek
aesthetically lean body mass index
even lions, tigers, or bears,

would consider yours truly a freak
actually never in mein kampf,
as lovely bones creak
acceptance of physical,
(nor mental) self e'en as pipsqueak

wrought intimations just short
re: abominable mortal kombat total hate
me snow kidding man plus
loathing mine anatomical trait
invariably pitched mental

health in dire strait
I haint shy stating greater part
of life (mine) where fate
found me beset with feeling morose
inner dialogue tête-à-tête

attributed to more'n
one countless reason
sunk teeth into anorexia
as pit iff full adolescent date
even now chief among

reasons with rhyme, aye lowly rate
being adipose fatty deposit usurped
washboard physique long ancient history
no surprise competency not great

passive withdrawn demeanor set precedent
concomitantly plagued with
submucous cleft palate being risk averse,
in tandem being diminutive height meant
easy scapegoat target leant

convenience and regularly meant
chased, mocked, taunted...
by bullies helped rent
psyche asunder during impressionable years
nonetheless acutely cogent

whatever that might be worth, this gent
laments good n plenti
centsless opportunities got misspent
finding empowerment thru writing only recent
endeavor to cope with
empty nest syndrome event.
**** issued from invisible magic dragon,
which nobody dead sea
immediately disrupting electricity
whereat mice elf (Stuart Little), i.e. me,
no particular rhyme nor reason
called Mickey, plus the missus Minnie

found ourselves literally
in the dark, no pleasant thrill
as well adjacent community
named Maple Hill
approximately few hundred

residents in toto ill
nope, no light to busy
sanity claws writing with quill
thus no alternative,
but forced to remain stock still,
the provolone ideal time

to look for cheeses crust
or crumbs, cuz thankfully tenant
occupying unit b44  never dust
nor keep their apartment
**** and span trust

ting bulge of debris under the rug
not seen by jail warden this August
two thousand nineteen,
cuz she would most likely bust
with anger, which would
bubble forth analogous just

like when volcanoes blow
off their high top
most lava lee phenomenon
unforgettable did stop
people dead in their tracks
saw Pompeii pop
yule lore for tourists to shop
for timeless dude dads till they drop

similar to yours truly at my behest
recently awoken from rest
earlier could chest
barely breathe suffocating blessed
not only mister

and missus expressed
above regarding power outage no jest
gasping for air oppressed
without electricity - society at mercy
to guarantee life hums along

without power to the people,
I forthrightly attest
idyllic climate controlled nest
comes to screeching halt
creature comfort amenities rest

at peace as if lightly
****** by black hole
this primate unaccustomed to test
his brittle mettle,
and loathed experiment

conducted by fates forced to sweat
approximately twelve long hours est
tab bull lest
stark admittance, I would be carrion
eh, a mere snack

if archaeopteryx made guest
appearance, a quest
going awry see Jurassic Park
object lesson aye did wrest
maybe genetic tinkering,
yes think GMO

microchipped **** sapiens
created with ablest
means to weather severing
how 21st century civilization did invest
ingenious dependence banked upon,
where electrons get fervently pressed.
Discombobulation thunderously
torments, triumphs, tumults
courtesy deafening,
earsplitting, fracturing...
whereby unbearable mental anguish
rents psyche asunder

into bajillion pieces
singular recourse necessitates
invoking cerebral powers
to engender feeling
comfortably numb skull,
hence tried and true value accorded

transcendental meditation recourse
offering absolutely zero choice
incumbent upon yours truly
to remedy cerebral chaos,
an unpleasant quotidian experience,
whenever yours truly

exits deep sleep
more potent solution
versus pharmacological medication
to instill peace of mind,
plus elevating cosmic consciousness
allowing, enabling and providing

pronouncedly heightened awareness
acutely poignant insight
permeating throughout this body electric
calming, fanning, jumpstarting
vitally important discipline
in order for lifetime anxiety riddled

disabling affliction upends
potential to satiate existence
(oft times state of severe panic -
triggering chronic sweaty palms
extremely bothersome
physiological manifestation

induces suicidal ideation
i.e. death welcomed),
which onset regarding
ordinary agitated state
inchoate congenital malady
probably coalesced in utero

extremely intolerable,
especially incorporating socialization,
cuz no contra dance partner
(cue Irish jig and reel
musicians playing lively tunes)
favors grasping hand
analogous to wet dishrag.
Ironclad choke hold tightened
around pencil necked geek
stranglehold noose asphyxiated
courtesy mailer daemon freak

specifically America Online
server gremlin sought out meek
resplendently attired as Doctor sheikh
wordsmith scouted out as weak

cussed link within human league
surprisingly springing thru Lenovo
external screen, simulating sneak
issuing nary soundcloud when tweek

king "FAKE" childish
ploy regarding peek
a boo as preschool prankish charade,
emulating, feigning, gamboling as mystique.

Little did yours truly discern
unsavory fated deaf fete
incorporating cunning linguistic deceit,
whereat innocent naivete scourge did mete

undeserved pummeling thrashed thinker
savagely, sadistically, and sacrificially beat
mastah to ****** pulp frequent visitor
courtesy aforesaid web portal

unexpected encountering
heinous nemesis greet
ting this chap with
suspicious groovy and neat

out of vogue colloquialisms
circa nineteen seventies
dead giveaway handy dandy
blues clues poetic feet

toe tilly tubular (iambic pentameter)
maintaining quite exemplary
skill for Pete
sakes, blindsided,
hoodwinked, outsmarted...

mine acute intuitive
perception, albeit fleet
tin gully as laxative courses
thru lower gastrointestinal

tract analogous to
GoLytely/PEG Solution
preprepatory for gastroenterologist
to *** esse seat

of pants anatomy i.e.
derriere, whether polyps
populate and remove
if necessary tenamount

to separating chaff from wheat,
and if all's well that ends
well patient with sore tuckus,
nonetheless rearing

to experience healthy
gluteus maximus treat
ting him/herself to feast
like gourmand and eat...

dagnabbit blasting impish,
where dark shadows
house outer limits of twilight zone
pestiferous heterosexual binary

bugaboo with chutzpah
nabbed against gangland
style angry bird
twittering parakeet.
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