Though joyousness impaled,
albeit skewered over poker hot coals
courtesy roaring fiery
molten psychological magma
kindling sparks incinerate
nonetheless inchoate coalescence

asserts, ****** feeble endeavor
fostering, glomming, harking
futile hellbent fixation manifests
imperceptible yearning inclination
atavistic aspiration toward archangel
fleetingly overrides pathos

prevalent within pathetic psyche
regarding mental health
linkedin to mein kampf
oft times erratically spiraling
courtesy grievous gravitational heaviness
simultaneously tripping hair trigger

well targeted landmines cratering
impacting cerebral spheres
out of the blue er...
rather fifty plus shades of gray
egregiously, demonically, catastrophically
blasting aching dormant sentimentality

good times with mine
then adoring little girls
sentimentality mythologized
instantaneously vaporized
i.e. hotmail kamikaze outlaws
indistinguishable from in laws

deep seated bombardiers
devastatingly explode
housed deeply within
subterranean nooks and crannies
loosed blade runners
likened figurative windmills spin

madly maxed out
ache'n throb exhausts me
frenzied furious fitbits,
while archenemies incessantly lob
hand grenades pepper spray
senselessly, shamelessly, spectacularly

strafing third eye blind
quickly, nee instantaneously pulverize
incinerating insight into bajillion little pieces
also vaporizing sanity
into smithereens
futile writing relief,

a weathered vane effort
undermined attempts
to accrue spiritual succor
analogous to volcanic bombs
raining nsync with deadly earthquake
forlorn hope for salvation nil!

Though predominantly skeptical
concerning divine intervention...
crushing desperation grinds heavily
kickstarting, mortgaging, pummeling
ripsnorting, unraveling, ar...wresting...
sense and sensibility...annihilating

joie de vivre exceeding Herculean powers
to defy overbearing blitzkrieg,
luftwaffe pounding psyche
wickedly, unbearably suffocating,
helplessly choking
impossibility to gasp

even one breath
lifesource within ******
dry as a bone,
hence desperation beseeching
salvation to triumph
over mailer daemon adversity

wildly analogous to aerialist
readily clasped linkedin
clenching tight teammate's hands
thwarting being pitched
feather head over tar heels,
whereby yours truly

grasps empty air
spiralling untethered from gravity
lost in space
scanning distant heavens
to espy prayerful rescue
courtesy winged warrior

benevolent endearing joyous
miraculous celestial being
rendering genuine ambition
to mend figurative fences,
with kith and kin,
where orneriness (mine) cleft

delicate whirled wide webbing,
thus me metaphorically dangling
bandied to and fro
hither and yon
free falling unmoored
grudgingly surrendering

mine mortality nsync
with manifest destiny
regarding death be not proud
of all corporeal entities
temporarily suspending atheism
in limbo where faith no more

steady Rock of Gibraltar
(though steeply entrenched)
peering skyward gleaning any hint
to perceive inimitable

otherworldly gifted helpmate
to usher deliverance, viz exaltations
experiencing unbridled affinity
toward kith and kin.

Samson reborn within
brand name garden variety
twentieth century **** sapien
hirsute trademark characteristic
electrified, empowered, enamored
mirrored reflection validated

substantial flowing luscious tresses
superseded body, mind, and spirit triage
prioritized as most significant
constituent essence passively
potently, pronouncedly exemplified
declaration of independence

against parental United Kingdom
first impression evoked
heavy metal musician,
this then skinny prepubescent lad
who doth sing a poor tune
easily mistaken androgynous

long haired pencil necked geek
weathered cruel barbs
harriedly styled swiftly tailored
disproportionately relegated hirsute
feature length non "FAKE"
real McCoy adorning

all important Hatfield resident
effectively far fetched
gloating prized hair him,
despite primitive diatribes
courtesy loving "mom,"
she did vociferously inveigh

vouchsafed to schtup
ample legal tender,
all to no avail
then authoritarianism tactics resorted,
I lacked chutzpah to vent anger,
plus self confidence

to vamoose voluntarily negligible,
unnecessary insufferable expletives
out the mouth of she...,
who birthed sole son
passively resistantly intractable
demure, meek, resilient...
even decades later

vicious lashings still affect me
analogous black barbs
digging deep into psyche
diminution allotted thinning hair
absent male pattern baldness...,
I surmise to attribute
senescence the culprit.

Every blasted acrimonious misdeed
aye indelibly perpetrated
affecting ye and the Punim for life
hounds me doggone soul night and day
venomous wrath torments, strangles, racks...
every bone in mine entire body

suicidal ideations haunt every
waking and sleeping hour,
perhaps previous attempts to communicate,
(albeit poetically - for no rhyme nor reason)
fell short, asper yours truly
to claim accountability, culpability, responsibility...

unwittingly subjecting thee, a prized progeny
with legacy, where
diabolical, emotional, psychological... trauma
compromised your care free growing up years
namely while residing at 1148 Greentree Lane
exacerbated by mine self absorption

countless hours misspent
whiling away precious time
mesmerized more so
with computer technology,
versus prioritizing fleeting moments
with "mother" and/or offspring

yes..he now pays heavy price
pursuing amorous liaisons
gallivanting, flirting, emailing...
impacting (obliviousness
pitifully lame retort unacceptable)
feigning much ado about nothing

snappishly barking anger
such vitriol (mine)
sabotaged once in
lifetime golden opportunity
to foster, kindle pinterest
with spouse and daughters

subsequently deepening rift
rivalling Mariana Trench
love's labour's lost forever
frittering away compounded
half heartedly seeking employment

even though - NO LIE
inexplicable debilitating anxiety
buzzfeeding panic attacks
plaguing my psyche
since...birth, incapacitating
maximizing potential abilities

playing havoc pledging troth
with counterpart exhibiting
mental health challenges
unfairly begetting deux darling lasses
thee bearing brunt of pennilessness,
at aforementioned residence

unlivable, horribly untidy,
toxic with mold, cluttered...
such offal sight, sounds of screaming,
(when Shana nonverbal), stench...
now suffer (PLEASE BELIEVE)

suicidal ideation plagues my conscience
pointed objects quite inviting
remembrance of things past,
a worse fate than death!
PLEASE FORGIVE DADA...?

Eternity elapsed since
childhood's end (mine)
though an auld
lang whooshed soul
I derive ecstasy as both
participant and spectator

(either role seamlessly morphs
one into the other)
tis wonderful whiling away
waning wakefulness waxing poetic
whimsically synchronizing noodling
with words tapping

into spontaneous reveries
savoring this fleeting instant,
whereby unconscious suffused
inexplicably ephemerally elated
alien preternatural phenomena
toward ordinarily anxiety riddled

mental state chock full
despair, joylessness, sad...
abysmal existence self loathing
rosebuds left ungathered
upon cusp of prepubescence
sabotaged courtesy absolute zero

never experiencing joie de vivre
for good n plenti decades
since yours truly
begotten January thirteenth
circa mcmlix – paltry pleasure
hijacked living social

shipwrecked lad nearly died
devastatingly dumbly
crashed tested body
verily scrawny, puny kid
Anorexia dead reckoned
(poetically iterated

oft times prior)
modus operandi sure fire guarantee
stymied, quashed, obliterated...
psychological soundness
see hear worthiness zapped

deprivation wrought bloodless coup
internal espionage edged out
robustness to thrive,
hence ambitious to maximize
rare instance short live euphoria
linkedin to reprieve,

whereby missus went out
better part of the day
foretaste of being FAKE"
Norwegian bachelor farmer
married life incompatible
with earlier decades acclimated

this foo fighting
beastie boy nsync,
whereby emotional,
physical, spiritual deprivation
find me anomalous
among village people.

Lunar radiance this small hour
June fifteenth thousand and nineteen
(very early morning errand
to fuel 2009 Hyundai Sonata)
at Zieglerville, Pennsylvania Wawa
found gaze tugged toward

infinite celestial vault
luminous neon phosphorescent
quintessentially, punctually, outlandishly...
radiating, scintillating, treasuring
untold vast wonderment
since time immemorial

tremendous headlong rush
remembrance many moons ago
guiding yours truly
along beribboned multi use path
said bright discobolus lunar object
casting rooted silhouettes

courtesy Gaia illuminating
terrestrial dark shadows
ambling, gallivanting, traversing...
long ago trod terrain,
where George Washington headquartered
particularly during severe

winter of 1777-1778
encamped with restless
weary Revolutionary soldiers
subjected against
punishing great travail
for the American army

cursing, inditing nonchalant
mother nature regarding trial
stronger words than
"shivering me timbers"
within crudely built huts
quite inviting to this Earthling

refreshing to slumber
those brisk summer forays
me totally oblivious
versus endangerment
to mine welfare,
quite the contrary
relishing feeling protected

cocooned because absence
of madding throngs, viz
crowd sourced tourists
safe and sound within
respective hearth and home
solitariness analogous to

return of native son
imagining journeying far and wide
sensing rustling patriots ghosts
catching sight, yet unseen

screened by dense foliage
bedraggled troops ghosts
glimpsed while entering...
the twilight zone.