I ain't gonna brag, boast, blab...,
lest yours truly suffers demise from backstab,
resignedly taking wheel of our automobile
donning, (but NOT trumpeting)
role as taxi cab

shuttling the missus, (she effusively glad)
to medical appointment
me, the obliging husband
in order for this mister former cad,
debt, now an ordinary dude dad,

who upon snaking, crab
like sighing, shimmying, scooching...
thru bumper to (rubber
baby buggy) bumper drab
morning commute, which

snail's pace spurred shoutout, via ab
dom men null controlled app    
designed by A. Habb,
which homonym identical
sound of descendent, sans faint jab,

asper fictitious Capt'n of Pequod
at sea vis a vis
if forced to ****** macadam landgrab
all the while aye spent gab
bing maintaining mindful outlook

for aggressive drivers,
whose cold icy stare
felt akin to painful jab
methought best not to "flip the bird"
subsequently get rushed

to emergency medical lab
avoided, cuz aye hapt tubby vigilant
for brazen drivers, plus additionally
keeping keen eye for police ready to nab
speed demons (mailer or female) even nawab

receiving citation for traffic infraction
and if repeat offender send to rehab
with license revoked,
nonetheless a slight stab
of anxiety as appointment time elapsed

indicated by built in digital clock
no matter arriving after 7:45 am time
my de facto role as chauffeur,
the wife would disfrock,
but fortunately excuse, sans gridlock

did not necessitate need
us to return at later date, thus no knock
kin wind out figurative sails, hence
circumstance did not
find me laughingstock,

thus any consideration, asper myself
resorting to quaffing hemlock
unnecessary honorable sacrifice,
that versus engaging in lethal warlock
additionally compromising private uber
to give spouse coveted lyft.

Greenlighted signal activating
opprobrious rapacious incestuous grievous...
Alabama Human Life Protection Act approved
desecration against women enrages
this Pennsylvania older married male
females inherent reproductive rights violated

occasioning this extemporaneous diatribe
absolute zero peace of mind
extant among national female community
must exhort against inherent pro choice
to terminate unwanted pregnancy,
especially if vicious physical molestation

forced to be encumbered
with violent impregnation
feeding in utero parasite of HATE
unwanted baby constant reminder
brutal assault ******
potential barbarous perpetrators

empowered misogynistic beasts
overturn sanctity biology bestowed
child bearers revolt against demoniacal
legislation, this fellow livid with rage
foments revolution, he doth decry
unfair penalty sabotaged privacy

endangering mental, physical, spiritual
well being, asper threatening welfare
concerning calamitous encroachment
cancerous, egregious, ferocious...brutality
lurks around every corner
nonconsensual execrable attacks,

vis a vis brutal, contagious, deleterious...
creating hellacious environment
jeopardizing sanctity, safety, security
renting asunder irrecoverable,
irreparable, irrevocable...undeserved
cursed fate unleashed by one pen stroke

nullifying sacred covenant bestowed
since dawn (and eve) of consciousness
maternal pact cleft as horrible incorrigible
jackanapes knock living daylights
every girl, lass, lady...

she must fear all approaching men
suddenly, I become suspect
driving chasm between both genders,
thus the emergency alarm clangs
deafening sensitive eardrums!

Gallimaufry of linkedin words appeal,
(particularly spoken by renown orator)
'cept when unnamed poetaster afflicted
with chatterbox syndrome,
nonetheless deliberate effected

muzzle restraint imposed
suppressing groundswell analogous
to swollen dam bursting at seams
tongue kickstarts controlled regulator
tripping baffling babbling brook,

sans (cheesy) mouth trap
conscious effort required
maintaining exhausting mental vigilance
attention oriented toward "active listening"
chiming into conversation

when casually addressed
quasi Uber tracking,
sustaining, rendering...
pondering dialogue deliberating,
mustering, aiming, firing...

apropos response adhering
to utmost strictures de rigor,
versus loosing (in the sky)
scattershot poppycock
offbase blatherskite, asper

topic under discussion
synchronicity satisfies peculiar
personal logical paradigm,
despite senseless compulsive predilection
condemning premature *******

plus crosstalk as penultimate transgression
pertaining to papa blurting
asynchronous interjection
consigning tight lipped penance
****** solitude condoned
should predicated persistent plague

prevail attributing penuriousness
lame excuse pardoning yours truly
remote possibility, threatening
spurious spontaneous splendiferous

albeit ill timed unspeakable retort
with hot sealing wax - most wicked
verbal utterance arrogantly
perforating, piercing, protruding,
puckering... two lips

escaping out mouth
more rapid than witnessing
the quick brown fox
jumps over the lazy dog.

The Missus Prepared Her Trademark Tortilla Pizza

Hmm...yum...after a hard
days night of reading Hebrew,
though I do not know a word,
nonetheless taking leftist to right
correspondence course tubby guru

hoop fully coaxing posthumous fame and glory
detailing mundane epistles about this Matthew,
yours truly indulged in delicious comestible eschew
wing noncombustible vegetarian ingredients,
asper supp pur ream culinary

innovative eats, she whipped up anew
(similar how mine late mum did construe
tasty dishes to buzzfeed famished motley crew),
anyway thee wife comprised something new
microwaved cooked, (the stove off limits),

yet savory extemporaneous hodgepodge
usually delightful originating predicated on Jew
whoosh heritage, sans unpredictable menu
within fount tin head,
where earlier this evening she drew

forth, the above titled nonpareil zesty
substantial adequately satiating
me tummy, which uttered
(rather incoherently) halloo
since supercalifragilous expialidocious impossible
mission to verbalize

with full mouth, relishing anew
analogous when just a whippersnapper,
viz teenage mutant ninja turtle lapping stew
wickedly bubbling cauldron warming Inuits igloo
thawing this adventure seeker,

when a mere hatchling shew
wing fearlessness, I unwittingly got shell lacked
(became nearly homeless) sent askew
enroute rescued courtesy Mister Magoo
aforesaid Eskimos he knew

nursed me back to health
shaman donned as a "FAKE" kangaroo
accompanied by apprentice
trumpeting on Taj Mahal miniature didgeridoo,
which nostalgic "FAKE" memory
spouse poked das man
i.e., dozing papa awake asking review,

regarding Tortilla Pizza comprising:
whole wheat tortilla, dairy free vegan cheese
organic mild salsa
meatless crumbles
cubed eggplant.

Circa...Approximately one month
following her thirty fifth birthday
October 13th, 2024
AOC became the first
female commander in chief,
and youngest person ever

to assume Oval Office
amidst landslide victory
among competing candidates
ousting current establishment incumbent,
elected to serve United States
despite being neophyte,

she received most
votes of any contender
since founding of Democracy
to assume modestly furnished
Capitol Hill - Washington
District of Columbia

most powerful post
within the United States
immediately electrifying North America
with her megawatt smile
crackling, snapping, and popping
with positivity, integrity, energy...

Deafening applause swept across nation
upon ascending dais prior to uttering one word,
she immediately wowed
darling of the hour received standing ovation
across greensward donned bajillion crowd
cheering, imploring, pumping...

green sleeved fists acclamation
action speaking decibels
louder than words bowed
young lady brought to genuine tears,
asper bona fide accreditation
understandable that newly

minted ma'am felt proud
to stride rite, (an air of modest
confidence) did enshroud,
sans an angelic halo augmenting
as optimistic words heard aloud

heralded sincere charming, intimating,
radiating... no frills accustomation
as if pledging troth to every citizen
(inclusive every flora and fauna) vowed
to steer ship of state toward ecologically,
environmentally, essentially...activation

away from fossil fuels shifting energy
consumption vis a vis alternate modalities
sow rejuvenation plowed
back into Earth prioritizing monied allocation
(dollar amount well worth investment) actualization,
where future generations will be grateful

to dead recent forebears for gift endowed
worth more than fine spun gold regarding
preservation of Gaia, how **** sapiens adaptation
made existence for all living creatures
(animals, plants, even this fungi) healthier allowed
populace to breathe easy and rest assured

quality of life for billions (ushering universal
family planning), despite tense adjudication,
especially when linkedin with
nuclear warheads disavowed,
but eventually kickstarted synergistic administration.

This papa did accurately
surmise undeclared war
strong armed lance pierced my armour,
ah...how fondly he recalls
early fatherhood days of yore,
when daddy's first born girl

did effusively adore
yours truly, he likened self as topnotch
trooper, who mustered vigour
exhibiting untrammeled unconditional
tender loving behaviour
before conflict erupted as between

mainland China and Uighur
back in the day din and clangour
honed, perfected, battle
tested... mine steely danse zing mettle
admirable trait evinced by this troubadour,
when understandable mutiny arose 'tween

me and "Munchkin" donut ask anymore,
why spouse described eldest
with pet name eldest she smoothly bore
intermittent flashpoints smoothed, sans
24/7 at beck and call, I availed to assuage
with papa's magical succor

distressed damsel (daughter number one),
she established an endearing rapport
with me telepathic sixth sense touchstone
oft times found even how sailors swore
dem crude words
extraneous, ridiculous, superfluous...

if unhappiness did evidently colour
hint, asper hinting off kilter her humour
characteristic woeful crimp evoking dour
demeanor accompanied unhappiness countenance
easily placated thru cuddling, viz comfort
and reassurance, the panacea wherefore

"star student" resumed former activity,
which nurturing trend came to screeching halt
as said lass matured courtesy
puberty, where rancor
more challenging than...

childhood summoning more
than a spontaneous gambit,
hence necessity fore
age appropriate strategy to reconnoiter
parental strategy as throwing feint against
emotional foe, feeble fiery feedback

unseated formerly unrivaled dada furthermore
awkwardness arose when teenage solace
sought among preferred best friend(s)
accelerated as das dada lost lustrous glamour
plus, his snappy truculent unfettered
brusqueness, especially when minimizing

computer screen window "this bear did roar"
"nothing," when unconvincing feint "fake" retort
she saw deception, vis a vis married man scour
ring and/or posting personal classifieds
which mutiny capsized bounteous

fidelity, gentility, integrity...no labour
of love kin aright
now, an invisible oaken wall betwixt us
n'er to be rent asunder, e'en when rigor
mortis gives reason for grim reaper to snigger.

An article posted in TIME Magazine
(VOL. 193 NO. 19 MAY 20 2019)
underscored_impact progeny keen
to experience when parents mean
with one, badmouth, critique demean...
each other, asper yours truly and missus,

who only recently declared mutual
surrender, sans wedded compact that did careen
nearly capsizing in the process
no need for me to narrate, nor hex spleen
hostility snapping, crackling, and popping
(momma mia), which mutual did not

benefit thyself, or the Punim Holy Holstein
such incessant antagonism, a free and clean
break thee smart as a whip breathing August
emotionally distancing yourself into empyrean
realm (accompanied with emmanint stalwart beau)
aligned, destined, inclined... far beyond Euclidean

plane into multidimensional realm
two peas in a pod poised to earn green
allowing, enabling and providing
modus operandi to maximize placid Mediterranean
cyber sea prior to kickstarting, embarking,
anchoring...sub bastion of reciprocal love

a steely dan sing omnipotent bond, protein
requisite in order to beget offspring
privy to discerning, a mama and papa
expressing high fidelity, akin to king and queen
enamored by progeny (should such fate manifest),
thus clearly my ill treatment of the missus

a tautly wrought Gordian knotty skein
unwittingly entangling innocent babes,
particularly thee first born, who sought panacean
in tandem with minding gruelling academic
schedule, hence congratulations weathering
animosity, depravity (mine), insecurity...seen

heard, felt..., though nary magic wand to banish
opprobrious misdeeds indelible corrosion
deep in your impressionable subterranean
psyche, which loathsome impact undoable,
but...this papa doth care there
wren lies the rub, a bird den Hamlet
himself defied triangulated, vis a vis scalene.