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finds me (a doggone muttering **** sapien)
to give pause for reminiscences
and to take stock (sh lock and barrel)
about mein kampf in general
and previous three hundred
and sixty five days in particular
assessing some laudable accomplishments,
where inside my mind I beam radiance
envisioning an imaginary hit parade
supporting my local mummers
and married poppers
trumpeting like Dumbo the elephant,
yours truly decked out
donning red zoot suit
proud heterosexual with pride
to sport gay apparel,
and support LGBTQIA community
peering across the madding crowd
courtesy third eye blind
sauntering toward then ascending soapbox
where I smugly wax poetic and proud
fulminating, expatiating, and contending
accursed series of unfortunate events
populating lifetime since conception
until death do me part
apprising rapt listeners
about arbitrarily, catastrophically,
and unhealthily imposed behavioral restraints
accumulated over the span of sixty six orbits
around black hole sun
experiencing total eclipse of the heart
when a mollycoddled lad and youth
analogous to lapsing
into nostalgic obliviousness
impervious towards disabling behavior
disallowing, disapproving, and dissociating
natural human biological processes
obvious to casual observer,
who possibly misinterpreted
extreme introvertedness
limiting normal opportunities
to manifest destiny of emotional,
physical and spiritual fulfillment,
(a demeanor more closely associated
with celibate monk,
who took a vow of chaste silence)
allowing, enabling and providing
peers and brethren,
who drank from the same cistern
to make mockery and scapegoat me,
though perhaps ye react with surprise
that as a capricorn,
under the auspices of sea goat
yours truly purportedly gifted with skills
at navigating both
the material and emotional realms
with peachy keen aplomb.

But lo... (dearest priceless unknown reader),
how self delusion generated
mine holier than thou air
clear as day pretense
smugness hiding tight form fitting mask,
nevertheless crude autocratic, idiosyncratic,
theocratic gnostic mien
plainly shone thru invisible armor
to reveal nothing but a
selfish nasty short brute
unsuccessfully pitted karma
against unnatural dogmatic
fraying and braying restraint,
where pantheistic fealty
(rides roughshod like a bucking bronco
over revered scripture)
stamping and chomping
at the raw bits of sacred truths
nipping in the bud
and culling all opportunities
futile to out match my hubris
courtesy kindled tinder narcissism.

Tis vain for thee
to extend arms with plaintive supplication,
nor purposeful to beseech Spiritus Mundi
eternally housing benevolent
bards of yesteryear
such Fireside Poets
as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
John Greenleaf Whittier,
James Russell Lowell,
William Cullen Bryant,
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr,
and Ralph Waldo Emerson
even during their
being alive as cause célèbre
even generations after their lifetimes
still worth their weight in gold.

Believe me you
not even one lapsed tatterdemalion
(interestingly enough,
the writer of these words,
who took a page from playbook
videre licet life of Riley
before being not ready
for prime time player),
whose doppelganger constitutes
dolled up guise of
former lone haired pencil necked geek
seeks constant adulation, congratulation
(even if fabrication)
to experience exaltation
and strongly inclined
to cue pre-recorded applause
if audience or anonymous reader
intimates a shadow of a doubt
yours truly can vouchsafe
he donned role of lout,
nevertheless even as a teetotaler,
cannot attribute any lame excuse,
where dependence on vintage ale or stout
nor other consciousness expanding material
served as figurative crutch
to act boisterous and tout
hardy laurels,
thus retrospective accomplishments
linkedin to courage I did muster
after consuming ample
powder milk sea biscuits – ha!

Jest horsing around
attempting to round out page three
of a poem idea that initially arose
taking mental retrospective
incorporating the year
two thousand and twenty four in review
but a dearth of accomplishments
found me to embellish
and elaborate whatever whims
came to mind
(an audioslave to talking heads)
even if the pith and marrow
of these lovely bones
a figment of my well pruned
overactive imagination.
whenever I needed to append the date to a document

Though the situation infrequently arose
for me to incorporate the year (2024 in this case)
or listen to a well trained
beetle browed foo fighter
named Jethro Tull
(in honor of an English agriculturist
from Berkshire who helped to bring about
the British Agricultural Revolution
of the 18th century by perfecting
a horse-drawn seed drill in 1701
that economically sowed the seeds
in neat rows, and later developed
a horse-drawn ***)
likened to lapsed hippie old fogey chap,
(no much different from yours truly,
an aging former
long haired pencil necked geek),
who in polite society
does not give a rats ***,
if I make a ridiculous roaring ruckus
particularly after sneezing a bajillion times
subsequently when the necessity arises
to hunker down and expel
globs of phlegm from honker,
whipping out my handy dandy
patriotic blues clues handkerchief
totally oblivious to the madding crowd,
tending to my totally
tubular noisy outsize snout,
(which circumstances finds me
in a dilemma of a pickle),
whereby I proceed and nonchalantly
trumpet bugle with deafening blows
clearing obstructed snotter with horse sense
as I splutter inappropriate expletive
one after another
after a sneezing deafening fit,
which explosions and expulsions
of slimy nasal glop
compels people in hear shot
to stage a coup d'état
(after being splattered
head to toe with snot), whereby
a bevy of beastie boys from the hood
analogous to nasty,
short and brutish seven dwarves
mad as blocked up hatters
in unison bellow gesundheit,
which soundcloud
ruffles tailfeathers of angry birds
akin to an agitated flock of seagulls
admixed with writer of these words,
a Paul Bunyan reincarnate
twittering tweeting babe watcher,
especially Paulina Bunyan,
whose biceps and *****
busting out all over
like dwarfish paleolithic musk oxen
on the hunt for red October,
nevertheless while female
doppelganger of mine
(cheaply tricked out
as heavily pierced *** pistol)
find me smacking together
mine saliva spluttering lips
while all the while ogling
unsuspecting babe in the woods,
whereat a surge of AC/DC charge
tingled within these lovely bones
cracking knuckles affected soundcloud
indicated preliminary Wile E Coyote
cartoonish characterizations
translated as yum zook,
who appeared to amble
with trepidation and hesitation
amazingly graceful and sleek as a black Angus
despite her snorting snout sniffing
my sense and sensibility,
she got inexplicably pulled toward
hot blooded videre licet Brobdingnagian,
one member from a race of human giants
described as being about sixty feet tall.
for enlightening my senses
to the evocative, reciprocative
and suffocative
auditory and visual material
publicized in The Nation
magazine January 2025 issue
on page 59 about Macklemore
(his given birth name
Benjamin Hammond Haggerty)
an American rapper
composed protest song titled Hind's Hall
viewed YouTube video by same name
English words flashed across screen
incorporating subtitles videre licet
the primary language
spoken and written in Palestine
id est Palestinian Arabic,
a dialect of Levantine Arabic,
which is a variety of Arabic.

Save and sound within American walls,
wherein foundation of democracy
fissures severely weaken structure
by dint of being **** sapien
automatically linkedin to every other human
particularly heart wrenching
constitute the innocent victims of violence
and felt compelled to share sentiment
to aforementioned musician
and other receptive eyes and ears
to the poignant lament
an anthem, and dirge
showcasing brutal against
indiscriminate ****, pillage, and ******
of innocent women, men, and children
including opposition forces killing
journalists who risk life and limb
to annotate unadulterated horrible tragedy
no matter I (an aging baby boomer
living social in a safe haven,
a geographical area
called Schwenksville Pennsylvania,
whereat yours truly
voluntarily viewed footage
of massacred mothers,
fathers, sons, daughters
sisters, brothers, et cetera
impossible mission to comprehend
wanton lamentable genocidal cruelty
abominable heart breaking slaughter.

The history of Civilization and Its Discontents
awash, where nasty, short and brutish fiends
displayed all manner
of fearsome, gruesome, and loathsome
beastie boy behavior
assailing and assaulting
defenceless hamlets housing **** sapiens
minding their p's and q's
perhaps whooping up a boisterous clamor
at a popular drinking hole
whereat In 17th century English pubs,
bartenders would keep track
of patrons' alcohol consumption
by marking "P" for pints and "Q" for quarts.

The phrase may have been a reminder
to patrons to be responsible with their drinking,
nevertheless upon becoming rowdy
formerly, ordinarily polite
quiet natured short and stout
subjects of the crown
quaffing amber liquids of the gods

hector teetotalers sipping
their nonalcoholic drinks
to prove to themselves
they can stave off temptation
and merely experience
being inebriate of air
such as yours truly
who unwittingly got stuck
during the middle ages
after time travel
contraption royally malfunctioned.

Interestingly enough yours truly (me)
felt more at home living
amidst the madding crowd,
where meager trappings of life
easily fit inside a rucksack,
and when need arose
to bed down for the night
one just found an available quiet corner
(unless occupied by Jack)
to get some shut eye.
Fleshed out as poetic confessional.

Profligacy prevailed pricking psyche
precipitating pandemonium.

I wrought havoc courtesy aegis
of paramours picadillos, yours truly did relish
crooning, clowning, and cavorting
around at Piccadilly Circus
located in Regent Street, Shaftesbury Avenue
Piccadilly, Covent Street and Haymarket.

Fast forward into the present
meaning Christmas day 2024.

Impossible mission to escape spectre
analogous to black barbs
blasted from BB gun
painfully punctuating
once pleasant ******* burbles.

Emotional fallout analogous
to radiation poisoning mein kampf
killing me softly with feline purring,
where I (a non believer) did lionize Lucifer.

Marriage plus father/daughter
unbridled edenic connection,
especially once unsullied paternal bond
with mine eldest
once a daddy's girl forever marred
with ineradicable mercurial malefaction
(by jove earthling linkedin to Saturnalia)
in tandem to severely dislocated
troth I did pledge
toward the missus forever
harboring faith no more
toward counterpart,
which husband
espoused devious dereliction.

Amidst frolicking holiday good cheer
ah, how I bemoan the days
before childhood's end
when days of my life
characterized by boyhood
chock-full of innocent bliss
(except for meek demeanor
sitting stock still
taking up space and time
within quaint little red school house)
as the world turned
betrayal cast dark shadow
shattering bedrock placer deposit
casting promising fidelity
to outer limits of twilight zone
once (kneeling) young miner
for a heart of gold,
ever since wife forever suspicious,
she automatically monitors online behavior,
and roundly, playfully, and nimbly lambastes
errant foolhardy guise valiantly dolled up,
and couched as innocuous platonic ruse  
bolstered by sheepish mien of mine
she never presumed rambunctious shenanigans
sundering, soldiering, and shouldering
pretence of sharing a spot of tea
until day er night of reckoning discovered
vis a vis when yours truly
brazenly, flagrantly, and licentiously
gabbed within hearing range to mistress
who dwelled in deepest darkest “Africa”
hours later returning back
to 724 West Railroad Avenue
being severely rebuked
since then schlepping self imposed shame
analogously videre licet
Atlas shouldering the world.

Whenever fleeting
will-o'-the-wisp fantasies flicker
such as a pleasant repartee
between yours truly and a pretty thang
such as recently espied
at the Thomas Paine Fellowship,
a venue I resumed attending
after a hiatus of countless years -
housing secular humanists,
an automatic rapid fire
of illicit thoughts elicited ****** propensity
spellbinding me with seduction.

I chastise my devilish doppelganger
for teasing me
(a whirling dervish
contra aery to popular belief)
with testosterone laden trysts
torturously twisting
time traveling troubadour
out of place within the twenty first century.
Analogous to fire breathing
puffed up imaginary dragon
(in a land called Honah Lee)
ye might rightly think
what the deuce
haunting spectre ace of spades
good fella aiming to be a poet all about,
meaning sexagenarian wordsmith,
this once upon a time jackanapes
presently decked out like cadaverous card

still sporting fine kingly raiment
and crown of thorns atop noggin
impossible mission
to disguise rapscallion mien,
nevertheless mine true harmless colors
glowingly dim meant shunned
buzzfeeding demonic, horrific
malefic tightly coiled asp
symbiotically fostering mein kampf
thru poisonous white fangs,

I strive and stride rite
to live life like good humor man,
until grim reaper
rocked my boat whose death on par
for an impractical joker,
after rigor mortis seized body electric,
hence burial at sea where mates
honored wish of mine on the briny deep
shipped overboard in a casket wrought of oak,
where (yes) grateful dead foo fighter

hoisted into Davy Jones' locker
after one last exhilarating heavenly ****
from potent Cannabis
and draught of stout ale
finally freed me from ills
of a morose lactose intolerant
impotent existence that did yoke
body and mind and set spirit soaring
like aircraft christened
Saint Louis mine being
riddled with angst.

When alive with the sound of music
and robust health
smitten with searing infatuation
to sow seeds of life and white lily
during jump/kick starting manhood,  
when hormonal secretions
found me being
naughty bit player for prime time
innocent untainted puppy love
concerning fecund (she),
the unbeknownst petty heartbreaker
with whom I fancied
and fantasized to pledge my troth
which hand of distressed damsel
never tested to fit mine like a glove,
nor sanctified debauched soul asylum demise
and death be not proud courtesy
Spiritus Mundi above.

Now gnarled arthritic fingers
and bowed back
these lovely bones severely jangled,
when cough that doth wrack
accompanied by thick choking phlegm
gagging yours truly
while lying supine on me deathbed
disrupted with torturous hack
panting like an overworked dog
even after the leash goes slack.

Every end of year
when auld lang syne sung
weather beaten formerly
well muscled skiff wrung
after being subjected
to whims of mother nature
cannibalistic headhunters
interestingly enough poked and prodded
buzzfeeeding me rawbits
eroded taste buds populating tongue

recorded global cuisine
avast webbed wide world
across all four directions of compass
found globetrotter huzzaing
experiencing evanescent,
concupiscent and acquiescent
aborigines far flung,
where couple females in particular
among the madding crowd
of barenaked ladies struck my fancy

amusing themselves with innocent
coy non verbal repartee,
where one in particular approached
with outstretched legions
of extensive alms,
where colorful amulets sported
to stave off superstitious
shrunken skull and crossbones
dangled and clung.
alternately titled: a literary retrospective when holiday times living hand to mouth in Penn Valley fraught with slim pickings and yours truly felt utterly miserable that nary a delivery from Santa Claus would be forthcoming.

Totally tubular nonfiction yup,
nevertheless I reflect
the year (arbitrarily plucked from misty past)
Santa Claus did not show up
courtesy imagination license
cruel as crippled poet panhandler
a cowboy wannabe holding on for dear life
with both feet held fast courtesy stirrup
tempted to storm of into the sunset
if misery did erupt
rattling his empty cup.

Though blink of time passed rather quick,
I still vividly recollect
midnight passed upon Christmas Eve
(circa December 24th, 2005)
with nary a ** ** ** from jolly Saint Nick,
nor sound of sleigh bells
no reindeer with packages he did not heave
omitting hurling gifts at 1148 Greentree Lane
as some cruel and nasty trick,
which prompted both progent

particularly youngest daughter did grieve
great disappointment absent merriment,
and surprises he would ordinarily flick,
whereby mystical magical tour would
burst with brilliance
like Jack Nimble's candlestick
spurred affirmation
analogous to brick
slamming into me noggin
in his presence to believe.

Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,
*****, Comet, Cupid and Blitzen
ordinarily light up anticipation,
instigating ear to ear grin
(especially provoking clattering hooves)
courtesy, exponentially, and factorially
heightened expectation generated,
viz foray into dark night sky
becoming brightest visible object
creating an audible, yet pleasant din

gracefully amazing this hypothetical papa,
would ordinarily deliver merriment well nigh
accept he forgot one important stop
perhaps trouble with cloven hoofed creatures
hmm... maybe lack of of feedstock
found precious priceless lass
with downcast chin,
and teardrops falling
heavily from each eye
inducing sharp pains

within this then mister meister mom
once a year self anointed secret santa
analogous feeling skin
pierced with sharp pin
most times one generally
happy go lucky guy,
whose heavy sinking heart
professing love (mine) could not win
reverberated hollow grief
as if Cupid's paramour made of tin.

I tried with futility to assuage melancholy
when Shayna Punim
(Yiddish פּנים ponem, from Hebrew פָּנִים panim)
(endearment for pretty face),
she did melancholically ask why
her mood cast dark shadows
across edge of night
illuminating the outer limits
of the twilight zone
(evoking artificial intelligent
graphic generated augmented
computer special effect)
as webbed, wide world

within outer limits of twilight zone did spin
along axis in gulf of infinite space
with lighting speed, he would punctually fly
no explanation suitable i.e.
from Kris Kringle pinch hitter
(alias yours truly),
since no where seen heft sack
of goodies makes supreme father pitiful sight
off his pedestal like
force of gravity impossible to defy
Humpty Dumpty myth I did belie.
While out Christmas shopping at Mall Of America with Our Spanky Gang of Little Rascals, who should we bump into but, Scrooge, Fezziwig, Fred, Bob Cratchit, Mrs. Cratchit,Tiny Tim, Jacob Marley main fictitious characters drawn upon under belly, of real life mid eighteen hundreds lowliest British (thermal unit) poverty stricken caste. Das scribe sketched out their soul full collective misfortune, without virtue, but plenti via a vice, which storied lives depicted (i.e. being penniless, dime a dozen, a day late, and dollar short penury) courtesy, sans prolific imagination of Charles Dickens “ Christmas Story”. They unexpectedly, uninhibitedly and unwittingly broke the binding loose after being bound within whirled wide web of make believe close to two hundred years. Freed from the paginated constraints (analogous to a prisoner, who broke free after long confinement to solitary confinement, when initially handed down life sentence for terroristic sabotage resulting in deaths per scores of innocent people), an utter lack of social graces immediately, plainly, and shockingly exhibited by various aggressive behavior. Crowd (then ground) control to Major Tom couched via heavy duty security details appeared helpless. The muddling, middling, maddening motley crue swarmed, rampaged, and quashed an attempt by the Police (who crafted a spurious Sting operation predicated on the baddest Beastie Boys Culture Club, who excelled at being Foo Fighters), which immediately appeared ineffective against a handful of raggedy, pesky, and nasty Marxist/Leninist lumpenproletariats. Helter skelter, mayhem and bedlam found these hoodlums, hooligans, hooting imps a indistinct English dialect. Even Tiny Tim showed braggadocio defying his lame physical state. Scrooge attested to be in seventh heaven, or the closest he would get. Despite total ignorance apportioned these anachronistic figments gross, heedless, insubordinate jubilant kooky lust (made manifest marrying narcissism ogling pricey quirky random  tchotchkes. Any civility escaped filthy hands hoisting incredibly jealous mannikins. Sir real quite peculiar phenomena overtook natural mundane lives. The growing horde of astonished onlookers (under a sheltering sky) made haste unsure if the ghost of Marley will scare away oblivious buyers (eyeing various and sundry widgets, trinkets, thingamabobs, knickknacks gimcracks, gewgaws, fribbery, bibelots baubles) where (timid) Tiny Tim (who tip toed thru the Tulips) frightened aggressive, purveyors of said merchandise. Insult against ideology, modernity, reality took a giant leap, who of all people, but The Merchant of Venice made a cameo appearance issuing forth asper a tempest in a teapot, a dome mass scandal, and danced the night away with the Ghost of Christmas Past, where the hallowed purposelessness purchasing presents per perps, squirts, twerps, et cetera essentially the intended  thread to weave warped  wonderment of mine, but (dippity and Scoobie) doo to a very bad hair day, my ability to communicate in a clear concise manner compromised sprung extremely flat limp follicles that usually puff up on the head (as big as a Soundcloud) of this GoDaddy, who will help fend off feisty Goo Goo Dolls.
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