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Matthew Nichols Nov 2014
Beauty crawls into the rage
Gnawing it's way to center stage
Closing my eyes to see your face
I know why it is I've come to this place

My lips are drawn behind my teeth
As I walk with shadows far beneath
The only light I see at the end
Is that from your room where you lie in bed

My curse is as well my greatest gift
For there is only silence from the window I lift
Belly to the ground like the beast I am
I approach my prey, an innocent lamb

Moonlight flows across skin so soft
Taking my breath but I just can't stop
Your eyes so deep, blue and wide
Full of fear because I'm finally inside

You've never seen me like this
And I've never had even a kiss
I suppose we're both breaking new ground
Just trust me and please don't make a sound

Oh, when you start to cry
Quivering lips releasing a sigh
Clenching my fist in your hair
Why can't you ever play fair

Your fear makes you so delectable
A pounding heart so strongly detectable
Your lips are hot and streaked with tears
The pink in your cheeks draws me near

Your slender neck so pale, so exposed
Leaving all my logic fully desposed
My hands wander down your collarbone
Full of wonder as I'm sure you know

The first prize is better than I hoped
Warm and soft, they gently *****
Encased in pleasure from ears to nose
Pressing softly I feel at home

Your skin is sweet or so I imagine 
Across my tongue soft as satin
Firm but giving I can't help but squeeze
Maybe a nibble if I please

But there is more work left to do
So many places exciting and new
The bones of your hips hard as stone
Guiding my love to it's tender home

Your breathing has slowed as I work my way
I plant a kiss only to hear you say
Something of please, something of don't
But your body argues as you're far from cold

All the coddled advances
Ambiguous stances
Wasted chances
Intentional glances
Dead romances
Only enhances

Overwhelmed couldn't describe my senses
Having finally broken through your defenses
An end to unnecessary suspense
I will be sure to spare no expense

Like a fire amidst winter snow
I taste of your inner glow
All the want begins to flow
Seems like you're enjoying the show

Now it is time to see eye to eye
Leave your soul bare for I know your lies
I can see the need in your eyes
And you can see the rage in mine

Of all the things I ever deserved
I never spoke a single word
But now we know it's finally time
As we join together deep inside

Soon the sun begins to rise
Though I am left in eternal night
I wish I could stay by your side
But I know better of this life

Bruises will fade and minds will clear
And the noises you made will leave my ear
The sheets will dry and you will sigh
For I am gone with no goodbye

Because my world is what I've done and what I receive
But for you, who couldn't so much as believe
The world will be lonely and empty, as you are
Because it is our choices that leave the worst scars
Matthew Nichols Aug 2014
Aren't we proud of ourselves
Now that we won't go to hell
And our products will sell
Because our nation excels

Just ignore the smell

Cause it's ****
Blood, tears, and violence
Admit
That you can hear the silence

Bodies fall from flaming towers
As pigs strip the bones hungry for power
Grind them up into pretty white powder
Shove it up the nose of the poor black 
doubter

Put on a show and call it an election
Sprinkle blow on their wrinkled white *******
Keep our ignorance and bestow the reigns
Upon those who hear dollar signs at our pain

Swallowed all their lies now we're allergic to truth
Rather dump all our problems on the uneducated youth
Rather stack the bodies than speak, it's cold
But with our help they can pave the streets in crimson gold

When everything you love is gone
And you're trapped in the desert chasing a mirage

I want you to look at everyone you hate and all your friends 
And tell me as you die what makes you better than them? 

The man who has your back through hell and more
Is he republican or democrat? Rich or poor?

The woman who looks to you with loving eyes
Would you put a bullet in her head if the price was right?

Before we sell our souls for oil and sin
We might look at ourselves and think again

Because if you open your eyes to peer underneath
All it takes is a mirror to set you free
A pretty poem for a pretty world.
Matthew Nichols May 2014
Oh how I wish I could be
Like those birds I often see
But I lack their weightless wings
I am too heavy to be free

I am filled with longing, nothing more
Like the anchor that sinks ,ship to floor
I no longer remember the shore
Only the sea of nevermore

As I drift on endless waves
Currents pulling me like a slave
I wonder what it's like to be brave
And what it's like to dig a grave

I start to sink, as heavy as can be
The sea has begun to swallow me
Then my weight is taken, it slowly bleeds
And now like the birds I am free

My wings catch air and I can see
All the world I could never believe
Opening to my final reprieve
As the shore of nevermore sores towards me
Matthew Nichols Apr 2014
Once all I knew was night
Every day was fight or flight
Then from dark I saw so bright
A glint of hope at the edge of sight

So I ran as a cold heart pounded
Warmer as the rising beat sounded
Haste had time I could not waste
This was nothing I had ever faced

But I noticed as I poured in
It had no effect on what I saw begin
The more I gave the more was lost
But I gained no reward for the cost

Instead it rose above my head
Out of my reach high instead
So I basked in its glow
All my troubles fell below

But soon it came, a turn of tables
I had to accept it, if only I was able
You began to fall away again
My feet soon knew the speed of men

But my heart knew the harder truth
There was no way to get to you
A thousand light years away
Is where you would always stay

Now as you grow dimmer still
I feel the dark begin to chill
Maybe I'll be fine without your light
Maybe I'll never see anything so bright

I still think of how hard I ran
That joy that had began
I think of you as you fade away
And hope to again see the day

I wonder why I write these words
My dreams have always been absurd
Like a man chasing the sun
I fight a war that cannot be won
Matthew Nichols Apr 2014
I can't find my words
When I always could
It feels absurd
But it feels so good

And then I awake
And you weren't there
The dream was fake
But I still feel your hair

You're still in my head
I can't deny
That what you said
*Wasn't goodbye
Matthew Nichols Feb 2014
4 years old, I found her
Silence surrounded her
She wasn't moving, still as stone
After all the soothing, I went home

I asked my father if it was normal
That her death meant nothing to me
I had to bother, he was too formal
But finally he set it free
No
The only words he said that day
Echo in my head on endless replay

Romance and smiles we shared
But all the while I was prepared
The hollow monster of endless regret
Had followed me as it will till death

I felt nothing for her as I knew I would
I did everything for her as best I could
Only a show, a beautiful dance
Nothing true ever came from that romance
After all was done and we parted ways
I asked if it was normal, only to hear her say
No
The only words she said that day
Like I didn't deserve what she had to say

A fun game, not to be played often
A game that never softened
To be or not to be, was the goal
And tonight I finally have the answer
As this torture took its toll
And sadness spread like cancer
I watched the world from 35 feet up
And wanted so bad to jump

I made my choice and was finally free
It's a beautiful world for the last to see
An angel found me as I slipped away
I took a moment just to say
Is it normal, to feel only sadness and hate
She only stood silent, then, hand in hand, we walked away
Matthew Nichols Feb 2014
I still think about you often,
sometimes the idea of you

I never had a chance to love your words or your touch
But I love the idea of you

Part of me knows this life means nothing to time
Part of me wants to live every moment
But I can't decide

It's not because of you I promise
Just the demons and angels inside me

Sometimes I look over the edge of the barn
35 feet
To freedom

So I drink, every day
And I smoke until my brain is a fog

And sometimes the pain
Goes away

Sometimes the fear
Is kept at bay

Sometimes I sleep
14 hours
But I never dream
Someday I hope I know why

And I found a new game
To keep my mind distracted from my mind

I think you would like her
I do

But not as much
As you
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