I am alone
But I have never felt
So alive

I am no longer bound
By guilt and insecurity
These voices in my head
Are on my side again
The people surrounding me
Support me
And see the light within
My darkness

I never have to be anything
More or less
Than everything I want to be
I owe it to myself
To open the doors
And let my potential go

Their eyes follow me
Their whispers hit my back
Like the dagger you
Split me with
Everyone knows
That I am not fine
And I am lying
When I act like it
Their looks of pity
Burn in my stomach
And behind my eyes

I do not need pity
I am not weak
I will do whatever it takes
To become myself again
To stand up for myself
I will not bow

I've lost my appetite recently
Nothing seems to
Quite satisfy me
Anymore
I mistake hunger pains
For crippling stabs
Of devastation
This emptiness
Swallows me whole
My hollowed body
Rejects any attempt
At nourishment
So I suppose ill simply
Waste away

You are the kind of person
Who craves
Adrenaline
The rush of finding
Something new
The hunger in chasing
What you want

I am not new
I am a comfort
A familiarity
A constant
Nothing new
No adrenaline
Like an old book
Or an old shoe
That always seems to fit

I do not want to be an old shoe
I bore you
And I'm no rush
You don't have to chase
What has always been
So easy

I don't have anything
To excite you with
You don't have fun
Flirting with me
I can't help but wonder
If it's me you want to love again
Or the idea of me

I wear my emotions
On my sleeve
Like a badge
Or a brand

My poker face
Is all too easy
To read
I've never been a fan
Of gambling

You can read me
Like the pages of a book
My sad story
Splattered across the pages

I can't hide
From how I feel
But my fears
And my thoughts
Should not control me
The way you do

I sometimes wonder
If I have ever given someone
Butterflies

If they tingle inside
When I smile
And shyly tuck my hair
Behind my ear

If they melt a little
When I laugh at their jokes
And fire one back at them

If their stomach
Twists in knots
When I listen to them
Like they're the only thing
That matters

I wonder
If I have ever driven someone crazy
With every little thing
I do
Maybe I will
Someday